


The Heart Pt 1

by The_Otter_Limits



Series: The Engine of the Universe [1]
Category: Power Rangers (2017)
Genre: Adult Language, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, High School, Homophobia, Mental Health Issues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Relationship, Will update tags by chapter, epic slow burn, triggering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-01-22 19:51:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 168,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21307667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Otter_Limits/pseuds/The_Otter_Limits
Summary: After defeating Rita, the team has to adjust to being teenage superheroes in a normal world. They never expected to survive so what do they do now that they have? And is Rita really gone?When tensions at home start to get uncomfortable thanks to her mother's inability to accept her sexuality, Trini starts spending more time with Kim. As the two of them grow closer and she sees some of the hidden sides of Kim's 'perfect life', Trini begins to wonder what her place in that life could be.And whether or not Kim is in far more danger than any of them realized.
Relationships: Kimberly Hart & Trini, Kimberly Hart/Trini, The various friendships between the 5, Zack Taylor & Trini, their families - Relationship
Series: The Engine of the Universe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1471379
Comments: 177
Kudos: 580





	1. Stick the Landing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picks up immediately after the movie as the Rangers return to their families.  
Trini gets a surprising look inside Kim's life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting this chapter just to see how active the fandom is. No idea when I'll update though. I've been retired from fanfic for about 10 years and I'm not sure how comfy I am with posting anymore. Never posted here.  
I've been working on this for about 18 months and I'm still writing every day. It's currently a series of at least 4 parts, at least 50% is written (600,000 words so far).  
Each chapter will be tagged here in NOTES with any warnings needed so please pay attention because parts of this series get dark. Dark dark. Psychologically dark at times. If I tried to tag everywhere this goes, I'd fill the entire page. LOL
> 
> TAGS: Friendship, light angst, parental issues, v. light hurt/comfort (movie injuries)
> 
> Shoot! The last half was missing half! Fixed 1AM EST

All things considered, Trini Gomez thought of herself as a very observant person; her habit of staying on the sidelines, nearly invisible, allowed her to develop the skills to become so. Being a wallflower of sorts gave her the silent opportunity to watch everyone, especially her peers without being noticed. It served her well during the multiple moves around the US that her parents had forced upon her; it kept her flying under the radar and made being the perpetual ‘new girl’ in the various school systems bearable. If no one notices you, no one can really pick on or bully you to any real extent. She wasn’t free from being bullied but her attitude and snark generally drove anyone bothering her away within the first few moments. Those that didn’t pick on as fast usually learned soon enough when a fist or a well-placed shin kick was involved.  
This observational talent made her pick up on things which other people might miss; like the way Paul Ibsen (football), dealt with his pre-game anxiety by softly counting his steps in groups of 4; or how Tara Mathis (English class) had a tic of chewing on the knuckle of her left thumb on the days her mother was away training with the National Guard. And how she knew her Science teacher was cheating on his wife with a younger man; he recently started looking like he’d been professionally manscaped, dressed like a man 10 years younger and smelled like he bathed in CK One cologne.  
Plus, Trini had caught him at a known gay club a town over one night when she was out roaming, shortly before becoming a Power Ranger. He hadn’t seen her but she’d certainly seen him and his ‘friend’, cute little thing that he was. She didn’t fault him on finding himself later in life; what Trini had a problem with was his cheating on his unsuspecting wife. Trini had no time or patience for cheaters; she despised them. If you can’t be honest with your partner, you didn’t deserve that sort of happiness. It seemed an easy equation to her and the longer he went without being honest to his wife, the less respect Trini had for him.  
The skills also carried over to her own friends. Jason had a tendency to ruffle/run his hand through his hair in frustration- one hand if it was about home life, two if it was Ranger related; Zack would get restless and try to balance things his fingers, feet, or knees to distract himself when he was worried about his mother. Billy hated the sometimes loud nature of Jason and Zack but he did his best to cope. Trini’s only clue was his toes would twitch inside his shoes. But the observations weren’t limited to visual cues; she also picked up on audible ones- like what she noticed about her best friend and crush, Kimberly.  
The first time Trini noticed it, she didn’t have time to truly think about it. She was on her way to her possible death for the second time in three days thanks to the wily head-cheerleader turned social-pariah who had just grabbed her by her jacket and plunged them both over a cliff. The taller girl’s voice was barely audible above Trini’s own scream so at the moment before they hit the cold water and their lives changed forever, Trini wondered if she imagined it.  
The next time, she chalked it up to the acoustics of The Pit, a concussion or, quite possibly, an unhealthy amount of sand in her ears. They were 4 days into training with the impending threat of this Rita nutball bearing down on them when a Puddy had caught Kim in the right side from behind, knocking the air from her lungs, and sending her flying in an impressive mid-air cartwheel into the opposite wall.  
“Kim!” she called out she leaped at the rock monster’s head, ripping it off at the same time that Zack took out its legs. The creature flew into pieces from the attack as Trini rolled to her feet and looked to where Kim had landed in concern. A few feet away, Billy gave up a little cheer and clap as Jason defeated the last of the other remaining Puddies. They were slowly improving.  
“‘M fine!” came Kim’s voice, annoyance clear in the tone along with something else that made Trini tilt her head in confusion. “S’gonna leave a mark!” The boys laughed and then groaned as another round of Puddies materialized and Kimberly emerged from behind the rock pillar where she’d landed.  
“You ok, Princess?” Trini asked as she visually checked the taller girl for injuries. Trini had begun to notice that while Kim was great at taking care of the other Rangers, she did a piss poor job of taking care of herself. As for when they’d all started calling Kim ‘princess’, no one knew. They just did and while the older girl had bristled at first, she was easing into the nickname.  
The taller girl blew her sweaty bangs from her face and sent the small Latina a wink as she squared herself up against Trini’s back. Trini tried to ignore how that small gesture made her heart thump against her ribcage. She failed. The last thing she needed was to develop a crush on the one female friend she might be getting but trying to live through their clash with this Rita chick seemed more important to worry about than fighting a hormonal rush.  
“Ready if you are.”  
After that, it became harder for her not to notice. Once she did, she couldn’t stop. The harder she tried to ignore it, the more obvious it seemed to become. Sometimes, when it happened around the other Rangers she’d glance around quickly to see if they noticed but they never seemed to. Neither did Kim and that’s what confused Trini the most; how could Kim herself not notice? Obviously, it wasn’t a conscious thing on Kim’s part because she truly seemed unaware that she was doing it. But what Trini really wondered, what she wanted to ask the most was:  
_Why do it in the first place?_  
It’s the last thing on her mind when it happens again but it’s somehow comforting to her anyway. She knows that if she lives through this madness, it’ll be a miracle and she’s pretty sure she hasn’t gathered enough positive points, Karma-wise or with especially with God, to warrant a miracle. These are their last moments on the edge of the abyss; Rita and Goldar are on the cusp of winning.  
The Zords are damaged, spent. They are out of options and are failing in their mission. The coins chose wrong; they are just another team of failed Rangers. The Earth was about to be destroyed because the five of them weren’t good enough.  
Trini reaches out to Kimberly through the morphing-grid; it keeps the five of them connected and allows them to instinctively ‘feel’ each other. They haven’t had time to really learn much about controlling it but she and Kim had taught themselves a little. Enough to reach each other at will, at least. She instantly feels Kim’s tug back although not as strong as usual because Kim is being burned alive. It’s beyond horrifying but she can feel how Kim is being cooked and crushed inside her Zord.  
Yet, among the feelings of terror the Pink Ranger is experiencing; how she’s being overcome by the unbearable heat, her lungs are constricting painfully in her chest while she’s coughing on air turned too hot and trapped inside what feels like molten hot armor she can’t escape- Trini can feel Kim holding on, holding them together. She feels this amazing wealth of strength and love from within Kim, somehow still clinging to hope and it brings tears to Trini’s eyes that have nothing to do with the fear she feels. The beauty she sees inside Kim, the real Kim, moves her.  
During the free fall into the chasm, amongst their screams, Trini hears her friends’ last words over their open comms. Kim’s echo in her skull. The first few words Trini misses; she’s not sure of the language (she didn’t know Kim spoke another language). She realizes that she doesn’t know so much about the other girl but she wishes she did. It’s only been 12 days but she’s pretty sure she cares more about Kim than just as a teammate and a new friend. It makes her immeasurably sad that she’s losing not just Kim but all these new friends. She had finally started to feel like she ‘fit’ somewhere with them. Like a missing piece finally falling into place.  
_Fuck me, that was cliche. Gonna go out on a cliche. Lame._  
The next few words Kim whispers would be etched in Trini’s mind forever. If she had forever.  
“I’m so sorry. It’s my fault. Forgive me.”  
Again, Trini’s mind has only moments before everything starts to slip away but she knows this time it can’t just be a hallucination caused by the million-degree heat.  
The Zords are pushed over the edge.  
Everything goes white...  
*  
After the battle, the Rangers left Angel Grove in the Megazord and returned to the Command Center. They’d required some additional first aid from Alpha; although they were now much more durable and resistant to injury than an ordinary human, they are not invulnerable and the battle had been rough. They each sported their own array of wounds.  
“There you go, Master Kimberly,” Alpha 5 chirped as they placed the last waterproof bandage on Kim’s shoulder. She’d taken the brunt of the heat and burn injuries from Goldar’s attack on her Zord. “The burns should heal with little to no scarring in a few days instead of weeks. I’ll make sure to add better fire and heat shielding to the list of upgrades to the Zords as they’re repaired.”  
“Thanks, Alpha,” Kim said tiredly, shivering a little before putting a clean shirt on. Wincing as it stretched her burned shoulder, she gave Trini a small smile as the shorter girl helped slide the sleeve up the injured limb.  
“That’s everyone,” Jason noted. “Can we go check on our families? They’re probably worried sick.” He directed his question at Zordon who had not been able to suppress his surprise, glee, or pride at their success.  
“Of course,” Zordon said softly, the nicest he’d spoken to them yet. There was a new measure of respect to his voice that the Rangers appreciated. “I hope they are well. I only ask that you return here within a few days. Alpha has been working on a way to communicate with you in case of an emergency. They should be ready by then.”  
“If we can, we should totally get together later!” Zack exclaimed as he headed for the mirror pool exit. “Bonfire celebration! We saved the world, yo!”  
“Yay, more fire,” Kim muttered, rotating the shoulder that was burned the worst. Her lungs felt singed and the scent of char hung to her hair. The cool refreshing water of the mirror lake was calling to her.  
“I’m not sure my Mom is going to like that,” Billy said as he walked behind the taller boy. “Not after half the town was destroyed. She’ll probably want me to stick close to home.”  
“My Dad’s gonna flip. It’s after my curfew,” Jason gestured to his ankle monitor which, thanks to Billy, was still green. “He’s gonna wanna know why the alarm isn't going off.”  
“Interference,” Zack offered simply. “There was a giant gold dude and a robot fighting on Main Street. Your bracelet not working is kinda understandable.”  
“Might work,” Jason agreed. All three boys jumped through the water towards the top leaving just the girls.  
“What about you?” Kim asked Trini.  
“What about you?” Trini shot back curiously.  
“Please,” Kim snorted. “Who is there to care? My parents aren’t on this continent so they probably don’t even know about it.”  
Trini was incredulous. “Uh, it’s a pretty fucking big thing to miss!”  
Kim looked at her for a minute before giving her a half-smile and a shrug. “Trust me, they’ve got more important things to worry about than me and some alien invaders. Your parents on the other hand…”  
While she wanted to know more about Kim’s parents and her relationship with them, the thought of her own parents made Trini groan.  
“I’ll probably be grounded to ‘keep me safe’,” she sighed. “That’s if they’re alive.” Kim slung her good arm over the smaller girl’s shoulder and gave her a sideways hug. The sudden affection startled Trini.  
“They are,” Kim said confidently. “Think positively. Isn’t your house is on the far side of the destruction? I’m sure they’re fine. C’mon, I’ll give you a ride home.”  
\---  
Each of the Rangers faced a different experience when they returned home.  
Jason’s father was happy to see him and oddly calm about his son missing his court-mandated curfew, to the point that he didn’t ask why it wasn’t going off. Sam Scott let his son know that for the next few days, their spare time would be going towards fixing the parts of the house that had taken some minor damage since it was as close to the marina as it was. Thankfully, insurance would cover most of the repairs but they’d have to dip into their savings to cover the rest. If that wasn’t enough, the Scotts would be forced to dip into Jason’s college fund, not that he cared now that he had the Rangers to lead. He was happy doing that and had no interest in going to college now or for at least as long as he was with the team. Maybe when he retired? Did Rangers retire? Jason planned to one day.  
However, he had two main problems with his immediate plan: he needed a job that would let him disappear when he needed to. There was no way he could get a job somewhere that required a punch-in, work 8 hours, punch-out schedule because he could be called away at any moment. He’d be fired inside of a week. He’d have to develop something to do on his own. The other issue was finding a way to explain his disinterest in the ‘big college plan’ and his job situation without tipping his father off about the Rangers. Sam Scott was a very sharp and observant man, he was bound to pick up on the little things if Jason wasn’t careful, probably something Jason would never think of.  
Jason is aware and thinking of all this when he falls asleep that night after the battle. So when the front-page article about the Power Rangers ends up on the fridge next to the article about his football exploits, Jason realizes he should’ve disguised his voice when he helped his dad out of the burning truck as the Red Ranger. He immediately contacts Alpha to have that fixed.  
Zack’s mother was frightened by what was going on because she lost power and had no idea what it was. Good neighbors in the trailer park took her in with them so that she wasn’t alone but she worried endlessly about her son who didn’t answer his phone. Mrs. Taylor sat next to the radio which kept her and the family she was with up-to-date on the alien attack in town. She couldn’t believe it and wished Zack was with her.  
When Zack’s voice carried through the windows screaming for her, Mrs. Taylor dashed out the door to him.  
“Mama, you weren’t home. You scared me!” Zack said, squeezing her tightly.  
“Corianne and Al invited me in so I wasn’t alone, sweetie,” she cooed to calm him. He was wired and twitchy which she didn’t like. Sometimes when he was wound this tightly, he made poor decisions.  
Zack gave a grateful smile and wave to the couple who stood in their door. “Thanks!” They waved back. “OK, let’s go home.”  
The trailer park was mostly unaffected with nothing more than a little tree damage from flying debris. Zack made a mental note to get rid of every piece of destroyed Putty he could see ASAP. He didn’t want to chance some piece of it reanimating in the middle of the night like some living nightmare.  
Billy’s mother was terrified about where her son was but relaxed when she found out he had been with Jason and his other friends. She trusted them to watch out for her son. Several windows on the house were blown out and a few trees had damage but everything else was fine. He wasn’t allowed out for the bonfire.  
“Where were you?”  
“I was with Jason, Zack, Kimberly, and Trin. We were out at the mines.”  
Mrs. Cranston looked taken aback. “The mines? Isn’t that where that golden monster came from?”  
Billy cringed. “We went by Kim’s; her house is on the other side, remember?” Which was true in a way but stretching it. They had passed by Kim’s house at some point in their travels over the course of the day. It was hard to keep track. But they hadn’t actually stopped there; they had gone right by, or over it (if Kim was in her Zord). The bend to the truth made his head hurt and his tongue felt heavy.  
His mother eyed him for a moment but since it was common knowledge that he couldn’t lie, she accepted it.  
“Ok, well, with all that going on, what were you doing? Did you miss it all? They evacuated us as soon as it started but it was hard getting home. Then I didn’t know if our home was going to be safe. I wish my phone calls were going through but all the lines were busy.”  
Billy felt his right eye literally twitching; actually twitching and not using the word ‘literally; in the overused sense it was used in society today. His eyelid was moving spastically without his control as his mind battled with itself.  
He was physiologically incapable of lying about where he was during the battle but he had managed to stretch it and gotten by. Now, he had no answer to what he was doing during the fight and had to make something up. But couldn’t lie. But he couldn’t tell the truth either.  
Twitch.  
He had promised, vowed even, not to disclose his identity as a Power Ranger. His father had taught him that a man’s word was his bond and to never make a promise he wasn’t going to keep. Breaking your word was one of the worst things a person could do.  
He couldn’t lie about where he was or what he was doing.  
He couldn’t tell his mother he was a Power Ranger.  
Twitch.  
“Ohhh nooo…” he moaned under his breath and started to stim.  
“Billy, are you ok?” Candance asked. “Or is it just too much? Everything going on? It is for me too!”  
“Yeah, it is,” Billy said honestly.  
“Pick out a movie and I’ll make your favorite,” she offered him what usually made him feel better. “We’ll shut out the world for a little while.” Smiling brightly, Billy nodded.  
“Thanks, Mom. I’m glad you’re safe. I love you.”  
“I love you too, sweetie.”  
Kimberly’s parents both surprised her by sending text messages to check on her. Her father had even called and left a short message from a hospital in Kenya. Aside from checking on her, he wanted to know about any property damage and instructed her on how to take pictures and contact the insurance company. Meanwhile, her mother sent a few texts to see if she was safe and then must have assumed she was because her messages changed in content. They insisted that Kim sign-up to help with the efforts to clean and rebuild Angel Grove so that she could record the community service hours for her college applications. It was never too soon to think about and plan for the future.  
Accepting this as the best she was going to get from her parents, Kim sent messages back reassuring them she had been hiking during all the commotion and was uninjured. The house was on the other side of the mountain and in no way bothered by the battle which her father was glad to hear. He still insisted that she call an inspector out to double-check although it was likely that the building inspectors around town were going to be extremely busy for the foreseeable future.  
Her mother wanted to know why she wasn’t closer to town when things happened, she could have been of use. Kim rolled her eyes.  
_ I’m not psychic, for one thing, Mom,_ she thought sarcastically. _And I was right in the fucking middle of it so, fuck off_.  
In lieu of sending the whole message, she stuck with the first part and a few other remarks. After she sent it, she had immediate remorse and followed it up with a half-hearted apology, blaming it on fear and adrenaline from what happened in town; not good enough. She answered the phone on the first ring and took the angry scolding without a word. All she could do was glare at the kitchen counter as her mother reminded her of her manners and of everything else she was doing wrong with her life lately.  
Ten minutes and a lot of silent tears (because she’d be damned if she let her mother hear her) later, Kim offered an apology for the disrespect and promised to sign-up for clean up efforts first thing the next day before hanging up.  
“Should’ve let Trini slap me off into space, too.”  
Trini’s overbearing mother, June, had left 7 voicemails and 20 texts of varying degrees of panic and anger while her father, Miguel, was calmer with 10 texts and 3 voicemails. His messages were alarmed but not panicked and he had a grasp of the concept that what was happening might be messing with cell service. June did not and grounded her daughter for not answering quicker despite Trini and Miguel arguing with her. It was only for a couple of days but it still counted her out for any bonfire celebrations which had to be postponed since only Zack was going to be there.  
“It’s not my fault!” Trini raged. “You’re not being fair.”  
“Life is unfair, Trinidad. Better you learn that now,” June snapped back at her. “Whatever happened today,” she made the sign of the cross and Trini rolled her eyes, “was dangerous and you need to answer us when we call…”  
“The phones weren’t working,” Trini repeated for what felt like the thousandth time.  
“Then you should have come straight home,” June insisted.  
Trini’s jaw dropped and she glanced at her father as if to say ‘really?’. The man said nothing. “I was across town hiking. I would have had to go through the middle of the fight to get home! That’s crazy! You’re crazy!”  
“That’s another day you can add to being grounded!” June shouted at her.  
“Oh come on!” Trini cried.  
“What were you doing way over there?”  
“I was with my friends!”  
“Some friends,” June scoffed. “Look at the trouble you’re in.”  
“What?” Trini asked, incredulous. “Dad, come on! Say something!”  
“June, grounding her for this, it was out of her control,” Miguel tried. “It’s too far.”  
June put her hands up. “We are done discussing this!” she declared in a tone that her husband never argued with. Trini swore under her breath. “You’re grounded; go to your room.”  
-  
Lying on her bed with her headphones on, movement out of the corner of her eye had Trini half morphed before she realized it.  
“Gotta hair-trigger on that, huh?” Kim teased from the window. The yellow armor retreated as Trini relaxed.  
“It’s been a rough day and there’s some creeper in my window,” she countered with a small quirk of her lips. Kim smiled as she slinked in through the open space. “What’s up?”  
“My house is too big and empty,” the half-Indian teen admitted. She laid down beside Trini, hissing in discomfort when her back and shoulder touched the surface. Giving Trini an apologetic look, she tried again much slower.  
“You ok?” Trini’s own ribs were sore and her arm had been broken earlier but was mostly healed now. The gouges that Rita left in her neck itched like crazy and were healing very slowly. Hiding them from her parents with her hair wasn’t all that easy. She wondered if Kim could show her a trick to hiding them better with makeup.  
“Peachy,” Kim dismissed it. “I was hoping that I could convince you to come sleepover since there’s no school until they fix the roof.” She suddenly sat up and her eyes started scanning the room. “Holy shit, did Rita do all this?”  
Trini sat up with her and looked at the damage. “I did that one.” She pointed. “Rammed her right into it. But the rest, yeah.”  
“How did you explain the damage?”  
“They haven’t seen it yet. Some Putties were running around the neighborhood and fucked with the backdoor and yard. I’ll just blame them. Somehow.”  
“Good plan. Things were so crazy I can’t see them arguing too much.”  
“You don’t know my mother. But I’ll just bs my way through, like usual.”  
“OK. Next question: How the hell are you gonna sleep in here? I’m not sure I’d be able to. I see why creeping in your window set you off. Sorry.”  
“Meh. I hadn’t really thought about it.” Trini realized. She’d been thinking more about what it felt to morph into the armor and control the Zords. She was pointedly ignoring the bad parts of the whole experience. “I’m still amazed I’m alive.”  
“Same. For a few minutes there…”  
“Yeah.”  
“Yeah.” They breathed together for a few minutes. “But here we are,” Kim finally said.  
“Yep.”  
Grabbing Trini’s hand, Kim flopped backward, taking Trini with her.  
“Wait!” Trini tried to warn her; this was going to hurt.  
“Sssssshit ...m'ok.” Kim whimpered quietly after impact. Biting her lip, she breathed heavily through her nose for a few breaths until the pain eased.  
After they resettled, the smaller girl prayed that her hand didn’t start to sweat too much. The unsolicited touch was new but she found that she didn't mind it. But now that they’d somehow lived through the battle, she’d have to deal with her growing crush on Kimberly.  
It had been one thing to indulge it while they were training and to let herself have the little moments, like the fork fight at Krispy Kreme that could almost be called a date. After all, there was a high chance that they were going to die at the end of those 11 days (and in Billy’s case, did). So to Trini, it was ok to flirt or let a touch or look linger longer than a strictly platonic friend might since it might be her only chance. Never once did Kim indicate that it bothered her nor did she fail to give as good as she got. In a normal situation, Trini would read it as Kim being interested in her back. If Kim were in any way not straight.  
Problem was, now that the danger was passed this was anything but a normal situation. And she had no clue as to Kim’s sexuality. The only person she was aware of Kim dating or even being interested in was Ty Fleming. That put her on the straighter side, or at the very least bisexual. But there was no such thing as a reliable gaydar anymore and Trini wasn’t one to push someone to identify themselves. She’d been pushed and pulled out of the closet by multiple people, multiple times and it pissed her off each time. If Kim had something she wanted to tell her, she’d try to wait for her to do it in her own time.  
“All the more reason to come over to mine,” Kim decided with a matter-of-fact tone once the pain had eased.  
“I’m grounded,” Trini nearly whined. Nearly. She was far too badass to actually whine, at least when someone else was around.  
Now that it had been pointed out, the idea of sleeping in the room where an alien monster tossed her around like she was literally a ragdoll didn’t thrill her, while extra time with Kim was always welcome. Plus, she had just survived a near-death experience; she didn’t want to be alone either. The adrenaline from the day was wearing off and she wanted to be with someone who understood.  
More than that, she wanted to be with Kim whose presence most of the time was like some sort of balm on her ragged edges. It was easy to be around the other girl which was unusual for her. Most of the time she either clashed with other girls because they saw her as a threat and competition or it was awkward because of her sexuality. It had yet to be any of those things with Kim.  
“Grounded? What for?”  
“Not answering my phone all day.”  
“That’s ridiculous.” Kim snorted. “There was some Kaiju shit going on in town and your parents are mad you didn’t answer your phone? Wow, priorities, I guess.”  
“I don’t think Goldar counts as a Kaiju,” Trini argued thoughtfully.  
“Came from inside of the Earth, big, ugly, attacked a town, there was a huge chasm involved, and it was defeated by people inside a huge robot,” Kimberly countered, ticking things off on her fingers, “Kaiju.”  
Trini nodded, conceding the point.  
“My point is, I need company. Do you really think that your parents would let your friend sleep all alone in her big empty house with no parental supervision after what just happened? Even after she called all scared, crying, and begged you to come over to protect her?” Kim batted her eyelashes dramatically at her friend.  
“Yes, or they’ll invite you over here and I’ll end up sleeping on the lumpy ass couch downstairs,” Trini chuckled, swallowing to try and wet a suddenly dry throat. She’d do anything Kim asked if the taller girl looked at her with that adoring expression again. “Why did you come over here instead of just texting? Seems redundant.”  
“I figured it’d be harder for you to say no to muh purty face,” Kim said with a faux southern accent while she crossed her eyes and stuck out her tongue. The Latina shoved her gently and laughed.  
“Goofball.” _Who knew Kim Hart was such a goofball?_  
“Maybe I am. Who knows?” Kim winked and Trini’s stomach somersaulted. “And I figured if you said no, I’d at least get to hang out with you for a little while.” A light blush crept across Kim’s cheeks as she ducked her head, apparently not intending to say the last part.  
Trini fought the urge to hug her. They weren’t quite close enough to warrant her instigating random affection not to mention it went against all of Trini’s instincts and her reputation, not that either seemed to mean anything when it came to her interactions with Kim.  
“Ok, we can at least try,” she decided, knowing it was worth it for how Kim’s face lit up. “Send me some texts asking me to come over. Make them melodramatic as fuck. I’ll go talk to my parents. I’ll press my Dad cuz he might let me but I wouldn’t get my hopes up though.”

**

“Let me give you a quick tour of the house. C’mon,” Kim grasped Trini’s hand, letting her fingers linger on the smaller girl’s wrist for a moment before she did. She delighted in the way the Latina’s cheeks turned dusty pink.   
Pulling Trini from the living room entryway towards the left hall downstairs, she counted down the rooms.   
“I know the house seems stupid big since no one lives here really but me, but we found things to do with the rooms. Ok, so the living room, kitchen are there and there,” she waved vaguely in those directions. “Living room has the customary shrine even though we don’t actually practice and we’re more lapsed Catholic than anything.”   
Trini looked at the shrine, finding it both beautiful and interesting while not understanding the underlying tone of embarrassment in Kim’s voice. Then again, the older girl always seemed to downplay her ethnicity to fit in better given the way a lot of people viewed those with darker skin; Trini could relate even if she’d never do the same. 

“You should explain it to me sometime,” she interrupted Kim’s train of thought. The taller girl paused and looked at her in mild surprise, a small smile pulling at the right side of her mouth.

“You bet,” she nodded. “So, this hallway has my Dad’s office- his ‘man cave’, which is just a home gym and workout space. Most of the stuff in there is covered in dust at this point since I haven’t been in there lately. Across that is the fancy guest bedroom and bathroom that we use on the very rare occasions that my Nana Ann, Dad’s mom, visits. There’s a couple of closets with Dad’s random stuff. In the right hall is my parent’s bedroom and bathroom and my Mom’s office. Their bedroom is kinda small since they’re never here. There’s also a spare room Mom uses for clothes next to that. She’s a clothes horse for someone who lives out of a suitcase three-quarters of the year. It’s too bad we’re not the same size cuz it’s not like she’d know if I borrowed something.”

There was an edge of bitterness to her voice that Trini thought Kim was too young for. 

“Out through the kitchen is the deck that leads to a big inground pool. It’s got a built-in BBQ, fire pit, and hot tub. We’ve also got another partial deck on the second floor; it’s ab balcony deck that wraps around where my room is on the house. Out beyond the pool and large yard is the forest. It goes off into the woods; my parents own about 10 or 20 acres of land between here and the other side of the mountain.”

Trini let out a low whistle and watched an embarrassing flush run up Kim’s neck and over her ears. It was cute but she was sorry she embarrassed her.

“And uh, not too far in the woods is a really nice treehouse but I haven’t been inside in about 2 years.”

“Wow,” Trini couldn’t help commenting.

“I’m not, like, trying to brag or anything. I was just trying to show you around…” Kim bit her lip nervously. “I’m not used to having people over…” she sighed. “It’s been a while.”

“Hey, it’s cool. I get it,” Trini hoped she reassured her. “I get that this isn’t rubbing it in or something; you’re showing me around. It’s ok.”

“Yeah?” Kim asked hopefully, her head ducked bashfully. 

The expression on her face made Trini’s heart skip. “Yeah.” Her throat was dry. 

“Good, I didn’t want you to think I was flaunting or something. Cuz I’m not; I’d never.”

“I know.”

“Besides, it’s my parent’s money, not mine. Any money or possession I have? They bought it. There’s nothing for me to brag about, you know? I didn’t earn it.”

Trini smiled at that. It was a wonderfully grounding way to view it. She couldn’t imagine having access to the money Kim did but if that was truly Kim’s attitude about it, maybe there was a lot more to her new friend than she thought.

“Yeah, makes sense. It’s still like, wow, though,” she confessed. “I mean, you saw my room; it’s the attic alcove.”

“Yeah but you live in a home, I live in a magazine article,” Kim grumbled. Clearly uncomfortable, she continued the tour to cut off the conversation. “Anyhoo, that’s the downstairs and why I spend most of my time upstairs unless I’m hungry. There’s nothing down here for me that I don’t have upstairs except food. If they’d redo a room as a mini kitchen or let me have a mini-fridge and microwave in my room, I’d never need to be down here.” 

“That’s a dorm, not a home, Princess,” Trini joked. “You can’t just eat microwave food forever. Your insides will rot or something.” Kim stuck her tongue out in response and led her upstairs.

“Says who?” Kim was unbothered. “Upstairs over on the right, there is another guest room and bathroom if you don’t want to stay with me. It’s for cousins or aunts and uncles that come along with Nana Ann. There’ll be fresh sheets, towels, whatever you need in the closet inside the room. Also in that hall is a small room we use as a library/study room, a sunroom, and some closets we just store stuff in. Most of the upstairs is either my stuff or storage.” 

The house was an open plan in the middle so they could see into the kitchen and living room from the walkway upstairs. 

“On this side is my favorite, of course, my bedroom which has a beautiful brand new, just out of the box Sony 85” Ultra HD 4K television.” Trini let out a low whistle as she looked at the magnificent television mounted on the wall. It was like having a cinema movie screen in the room. Sure enough, the box was tucked behind the desk.

“It’s a ‘sorry we had to leave immediately after grounding you but here’s something expensive so we can phone-in caring’ present. Billy helped me hang it and I had to rearrange the whole room but it’s worth it.” She walked over to the on-suite. “The bathroom’s got a full-size clawfoot tub. I’m horribly spoiled, I won’t lie.”

“At least you know,” Trini teased. Kim huffed at her and marched through the bathroom.

“Before that remark, I was going to tell you that you’re also welcome to take over this spare room if you want. But now I’m not so sure,” Kim playfully told her while pretending to be angry. Trini looked at her in confusion. 

“Take over for the night? That’d be better since it’s closer to y- the bathroom,” she caught herself, “but the bed’s kinda buried in your crap.” 

“No, bonehead,” Kim laughed. “Take over for whatever. The other upstairs room is for guests but this one hardly ever gets used, it’s just got my junk in it.” She pointed to some boxes and old toys. “I can clean it out. It’s got its own door to the bathroom…”

“Why?” Trini spat, a little insulted. 

Kim blinked and relaxed her body language. When she spoke, she did so slowly and calmly with the hope of not making her friend any angrier. “I know that sometimes… You’re a private person and I respect that.” Trini grunted. “I do but the Ranger link, it doesn’t. Sometimes, I can feel what it’s like for you to be home. You don’t have to tell me the details, ever! If you don’t want to, but I want you to have someplace to go. Somewhere safe. So…” Kim shrugged vaguely. “Yeah.” 

“Ah.”

“You don’t have to use it at all if you don’t want. I was just giving the option…” Kim tried to cover, to give them both an out. She puffed out her cheeks and rocked on her heels, uncomfortable.

Trini watched her, looking for a motive but all she saw was a friend, tentatively reaching out. And as she watched, she saw that friend withdrawing as well. “Cool,” she shot out quickly before Kim could curl any further into herself. “I’ll think about it.”

The expression on Kim’s face brightened. “Sweet. Ok, well like I said, it’s connected to the bathroom but the door locks for privacy and it has its own hall door.” Leading Trini back out into the hall, the brunette grinned. “There’s a few more closets but over here? That’s my other favorite.”

She opened the door to the room across from hers and walked into what was basically a home dance studio with a grand piano and some basic gymnastic equipment off to one side. Floor to ceiling mirrors lined one wall with ballet bars and an impressive sound system installed along the walls. Large areas of the floor were covered in safety mats and everything had a ‘lovingly used’ look to it proving the room wasn’t just for show.

“I think out of everything they’ve bought me or done, this is my favorite, my indulgence. My Dad had this converted so I could practice my dancing,” Kim said wistfully. “And my beam work for gymnastics.” Running her hand over the higher beam, a small smile pulled at Kim’s full lips. “I’ve landed on my ass in here more times than I can count.”

“Must be a solid floor,” Trini poked in fun. “I’ve seen how hard you land on it.” 

“Oh, har har, Little Miss Faceplant,” Kim jabbed back. 

“I’m not little,” Trini automatically replied. “And I only face-planted that once.”

“But it was epic. And not little, right. OK,” Kim laughed, “so remember, below here is my Dad’s ‘man cave’? Yeah, he likes to think he’s secretly a carpenter, but he’s not. He tries but gets bored real quick. But he built himself a small woodshop, all decked out with proper ventilation, fans, you name it, and re-enforced for fire prevention and all that. It supports the extra weight of the studio. My Uncle Eliot is a construction engineer so he helped my Dad with alterations and add-ons and all that. They did most of the alterations to the house themselves when my Dad had the time. Or bothered to find some.”

There was that tone of bitterness again.

“Then he lost interest in that and turned it into a gym and put the workshop in a shed out back. But this room, man I’ve spent so much time in here. I can just blast my music and disappear. I had an au pair that was convinced I was going to break my neck doing my gymnastics routine and she was afraid she wouldn’t hear me fall over the music. Wouldn’t let me blast the music, it had to be soft; it sucked.” 

Trini spied a mini-fridge in the corner and nodded towards it. 

“Technically it’s for water only,” Kim laughed making air quotes around the words. “I keep whatever in it but do you know how far a walk that is at 2 am?”

“Why not put it in your room?”

“I never know when I’ll come home to one or both of them being here and they already caught me with it in my room once. Mom was not happy. ‘Why must you always push your boundaries, Kimberly? Why are you never satisfied?’” Kim ended with a raspberry sound. “I heard about it for like, 6 months.”

Trini could understand not taking the risk since she had to take special precautions about things herself due to her mother’s propensity towards snooping. 

“I still can’t believe your parents let you come over.” Kim deftly changed the subject. 

“Me either. My Dad convinced Mom that she was being ridiculous. It gives him a day or so to do repairs to my room.” She thought for a moment. “My Dad’s been acting a little weird the last day or so but, maybe it’s just all this ‘aliens attacked the town’ shit.” 

“Whatever the reason, I’m still glad,” Kim smiled and tugged her guest back into her room. “Just throw your bag anywhere. Want any snacks? I think we’ve got ice cream.” Her nose scrunched as she thought. “Chocolate, cookies and cream, or double chocolate fudge brownie?”

Trini’s eyes lit up. “Double chocolate fudge brownie? You bought double chocolate fudge brownie! Why? You hate chunks of anything other than Oreo in your ice cream.”  
Blushing, she realized that she shouldn’t really know that already. It had only been 12 days since they became acquainted with one another.

“I found out it’s my best friend’s favorite so I got it for her,” Kim announced, taking off out the door and skipping the stairs altogether, jumping from the upstairs landing to the kitchen with barely a thump. 

Trini’s heart fluttered: best friend. They’d been friends for 2 weeks at best but here she sat, being called Kimberly Hart’s best friend, her _ crush’s _ best friend. The older girl had gone out of her way to discover and purchase her favorite ice cream just so it would be there if she wanted it. It was the sort of thing that Trini would do for a girl she herself liked (i.e. Kim). Like how she knew Kim didn’t like chunks of things in her ice cream unless it was Oreos. 

These were not the actions of the stuck-up, mean girl so many other people thought Kim was, how she’d managed to present herself as for so long. It broke a little piece of Trini’s heart to think that for some reason to survive, Kim had to hide such a sweet part of herself and instead had to wear the mask of ‘popular it girl’ for so long. How she had so successfully hidden the childlike goofball she’d gotten a glimpse of and hoped to see more of. Sometimes Kim was too serious for her age, much like Trini could be. She didn’t like to be so she knew Kim likely didn’t. Maybe they could both break the habit around one another.

Discovering a new facet of her friend made Trini sink further into her crush on the former cheerleader. Looking around the girl’s bedroom gave her a little bit of insight into her. What surprised her the most wasn’t the pink walls or the clothes thrown over various pieces of furniture, it was the amount of photos on so many other surfaces. While it was clear from the blank pieces of sticky back tape that Kim was taking a lot of pictures down, she was also putting some back up- many of them of the Rangers themselves. 

Trini was a little surprised to see so many of herself already on the wall and in the pile of printed out photos on Kim’s desk. There were photos of them all and of Angel Grove itself but to her, there seemed to be a disproportionate number of photos that featured her own (usually scowling) face. 

On the nearby table, there were supplies which told her that at some point, Kim had been interested in photography. It all sat with a light gathering of dust that made her sad in a way she couldn’t identify. A small cardboard box held parts to at least 3 different older looking types of cameras that she could see. There were stacks of unused photo paper beside a high end printer, extra packs of ink, shreds of what she figured out where old pictures from the wall, a few of the old type plastic containers for actual rolls of film, and other typical things one equated with photography. A newer but clearly broken DSLR camera sat off to the side, the handle of a screwdriver sticking out from the front of the lens.

Kim returned quickly, a spoon sticking up from a small pint for each of them. 

“Just regular chocolate for you, Princess?” Trini asked, taking her pint gleefully. Kim’s go-tos were chocolate and cookies & cream; she also playfully fought Billy for things peanut butter flavored. 

“I’m a simple girl at heart,” Kim answered. “Like my pictures?”

“Yeah. I didn’t know you were into photography.”

Kim shrugged a shoulder. “I used to have a really nice DSLR camera that I took to all our cheerleading competitions and stuff but as you can see, Ty broke it when… we uh… broke up and I never got a new one.”

“Are you gonna get one now?”

“I dunno. I kinda lost interest in it and everything else after…” she cleared her throat. “now we’re so busy with Ranger stuff…”

“Everyone needs a hobby,” Trini pointed out while digging at a chunk of brownie in her ice cream. With her tongue stuck out to the side in concentration, Kim thought the younger girl was the cutest thing she’d ever seen. “You should get back into it if you still like it.”

“I suppose. What’s yours? Hobby, I mean.” Trini felt herself blush. Kim bumped her with her shoulder. “Aw, come on, you started it.” She batted her eyelashes again and Trini caved.

“Fiiiine,” Trini fake sighed, as if she were long put-upon. “Art. I like to sketch and stuff.” She scowled and glared at her ice cream in automatic defense mode. 

“What medium?” the Pink Ranger asked carefully, not wanting to chase this open and sharing version of Trini away. She already adored the younger girl and wanted to know more about her but she was the Fort Knox of secrets. Honestly, she hadn’t heard the Yellow Ranger string so many words together in such a short period of time before. Kim hoped it was the beginning of a new pattern between them. She couldn’t get to know Trini if the younger girl didn’t talk much, although a lack of speech didn’t necessarily mean a lack of communication; you just had to learn how to properly listen.

Trini eyed her warily before answering. “I’m trying a lot of different ones right now like charcoal and pastels. I don’t like using brushes and stuff, just the chalks or pencils and my hands. It’s a pain to get off sometimes, though.”

“I didn’t know that! That’s so cool,” Kim smiled genuinely.

“I swear if you tell anyone, Hart… “ she went back to the stubborn piece of brownie, stabbing at it a bit more aggressively than necessary.

“I promise I won’t but I don’t know why you’d hide it.”

“It’s… mine, ok? I do it for me cuz I enjoy it and I don’t wanna lose that and feel like I’m doing it for someone else or that I have expectations to live up to.”

“Ok, I get that,” Kim agreed. “If you ever want to show me…” Trini nodded. “For tonight though, I thought we could watch a movie, order Chinese, and pig out until we pass out.”

The chunk of brownie finally came loose and Trini cheered herself before popping it into her mouth. “Sounds like a plan. What movie?”

“I’m usually up for anything but I feel like I just lived through my own personal horror movie today so maybe we should go lighthearted like a comedy or something clever. Have you ever seen any of the Broken Lizard or Pegg/Frost movies?”

Trini’s nose crinkled. “Who?”

Kim gaped at her. “_Super Troopers?_ _Beerfest_?” The younger girl shrugged. “How about _Shaun of the Dead_, _Hot Fuzz_, _At World’s End,_ or _Paul_?”

“Nope.”

“Oh my god, do you watch movies at all?” Kim wondered incredulously.

Trini chuckled. “Not as much as you, apparently. Plus, my brothers are stuck in superhero movie mode so that’s all that plays in the house. Or Paw Patrol and shit like that.”

Shaking her head, Kim called up her movie library on the huge tv and scrolled through trying to decide on what to watch. “All right, we’re starting with Super Troopers because I’m in the mood for it right meow.”

“‘Right meow’?”

Kim grinned. “You’ll see.”

*

Trini sleepily reached for the phone near her head, not recognizing the ringtone but wanted it to shut up because she was so warm and comfy that she didn’t want to get up. She hadn’t slept this well in what felt like years. “Hullo?” she slurred. 

“Who is this?” a female voice with a British accent asked. Trini blinked awake and looked at the phone only to realize that she’d picked up Kim’s by accident. The display read Mom/Maa. “This is my daughter’s phone. Where is Kimberly?”

“Shit,” she whispered to herself while shaking Kim. “Kim! Your mother’s on the phone.” Kim grunted unhappily but put her hand out for the phone, pulling it under the covers with her.

“Maa? ...Ha...ha...na...Mom...no, school’s cancelled til they get the roof fixed… *yawn* … they said at least 2 weeks… They’re gonna email packets out...right, my grades won’t slip… wha...my friend, Tri...What? NO! No, Maa, MAA, No! I am not sleeping wi...right…*sigh* seriously? ...Yes, I’ll ask for extra credit. Ok, yeah, hu tamne prem karu chhu.” 

Kim’s hand appeared from under the covers and tossed the phone across the room in annoyance. Trini winced when it cracked against something solid. That was phone number 3 at least. They were going to have to see if Alpha and Billy could build them stronger ones that Kim couldn’t break in her hand anytime Amanda or Harper sent her another bullying text message. Or, apparently, her mother called.

“That was Mom making sure the city almost being wiped out won’t affect my GPA and that I’m not getting laid or being remotely young and happy. Go back to sleep it’s not even 3.”

Trini’s eyes grew wide. “Your mother thinks you’re sleeping with me?” Kim rolled over to look at her with a sleepy smirk. 

“My mother thinks I sleep with whatever I can catch.” She mimicked casting a line with a fishing pole and reeling it in. 

“What?” Of all the people she’d encountered in the multiple states she’d lived in, Trini hadn’t met many people less well, slutty, than Kim. The older girl was effortlessly beautiful even on bad days, knew it and dressed to accentuate that in some ways but at the same time, there was a charming modesty to her that Trini adored. It was one thing to know you’re attractive; the difference came in the attitude between being confident and comfortable with it versus being a flaunty, self-centered bitch about it. Kim excelled at being the former more than the latter.

“I’m kidding!” Kim giggled wildly at the look on her friend’s face. “Oh my God, your face! She was surprised I let someone in my bed or close enough to answer my phone like that. That’s all.” She coaxed Trini to roll over onto her other side and spooned up behind the smaller girl under the blankets, the same way they fell asleep for a few hours earlier. Trini had been surprised by the way she had felt so comfortable cuddling up with Kim; she wasn't much for physical affection. The thing was she immediately felt calmed by it, like she needed the touch and closeness of another person. Or maybe it was just Kim. 

“No one answers my phone and my room is my space. I don’t usually let people in it, even my parents. There’s all this space in this house but this one room is mine, it’s my space.” 

Trini glowed inside; she was not only invited inside Kim’s private space but the other girl’s arm was casually slung over her waist as if it belonged there. They were pressed tightly against one another as if they were puzzle pieces made to naturally fit together. She scolded herself for the cliche thought.

“You didn’t have sleepovers growing up?” she wondered, wanting to know more about her new friend. “I did growing up; cousins, friends until I was about 9 or so. I think that’s when my mom started to suspect something. I didn’t but she did.”

“9? What did you do at 9 that made your mom’s gaydar go off?”

“No clue,” Trini sighed. “But I stopped having sleepovers around then. You?”

“I had sleepovers a few times. We would use a spare bedroom, though, not my bedroom. I didn’t like having all those other girls in my space, they got into my stuff. I could use whatever spare room I wanted and we’d decorate it for whatever the theme was. And if I got mad or something, I could go hide in my room and lock everyone out. I was a bit melodramatic.”

“Was? A bit?” 

“Shut up,” Kim admonished, lightly tickling the younger girl who successfully batted wiggling fingers away. 

“Should I feel special?” Trini laughed although it came out a little more unsure than she meant. It was a loaded question and she only realized it when it was halfway out of her mouth. She was getting sleepy and her eyelids were growing heavy. She thought she’d have trouble sleeping after everything that happened but surrounded by Kim’s warmth and comfort, she felt how tired she really was.

“You always should,” Kim yawned behind her. She grasped Trini’s hand in hers and held them both on Trini’s abdomen. “You’re one of a kind, my friend. But yeah, no one’s been in my bed but me. You’re my first.”

Trini felt her cheeks and ears burn and was glad for her long hair and the dark to hide behind. Kim burst out laughing a few moments later. 

“I just realized how that might’ve sounded,” she chortled into Trini’s back. “Thanks for helping me break in the bed, Gomez.”

“Anytime, Hart.”

Trini was on the edge of sleep, listening to Kim’s soft intermittent humming when the half-Indian’s sleepy rasp rumbled against her ear.

“‘M glad you’re here. Gets so lonely with no one home.”

“Sorry,” Trini apologized drowsily for lack of anything else to say. Kim hugged her tighter. 

“S’ok. I like you being here.”

*-

“G’mornin’, sleep well?” Kimberly greeted her in a sleep heavy voice directly into Trini’s ear. There it was, what Trini thought she was imagining. Her eyes lit up in delight. The phone call from Mrs. Hart was the missing piece. Everything she’d heard and couldn’t place for the past 2 weeks slid into place.

“Oh my God, you have an accent!” she exclaimed, sitting up quickly. Both actions startled Kim and woke her completely. 

“W… Wha…?” she stammered, blinking the last of sleep from her eyes. Trini was smiling so widely her face hurt.

“An accent! You have a very well hidden British accent.”

“I do not!” Kim’s voice was immediately surprisingly defensive and with a pitch perfect middle American accent. Too perfect. “You’re still half asleep and hearing things.” 

Trini frowned, wondering why Kim was so upset. “No, I’m not! I couldn’t figure out what it was, an accent or a lisp, maybe. I first heard it when you shoved me off the cliff…”

“Technically I pulled, not shoved...” Kim tried to change the subject. She sat up opposite the younger girl and crossed her arms over her chest defensively.

“Whatever, don’t deflect. You have an accent.” She didn’t know why she was pressing the issue but at the same time, she didn’t understand Kim’s grumpiness about the issue. 

“No, I don’t,” the Pink Ranger whined. Trini wasn’t sure she’d ever seen her look more annoyed. “You wear a retainer!”

“Yeah, to bed I do. I had a gap in my front teeth you could drive a Zord through. And you have an accent. Why are you denying it? It’s just us. I’m not gonna tease you about it if it bothers you.” Her tone turned insulted as well. “I wasn’t gonna tease you at all. I don’t work like that.”

“Why is it a big deal?” Kim huffed. Trini realized that arguing about it was kind of stupid and relaxed her attitude.

“It’s not. I just… the accent was really clear when you said ‘good morning’. That’s all. It sounded really, well, kinda pretty.” Kim’s upset demeanor deflated as well.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I’m not used to someone being there first thing when I wake up. Usually, it only comes out then or when I’m really tired.” She groaned in embarrassment. “It was both this time I guess. Sorry, I didn’t mean to freak out at you. I know you’d never tease me about it. It’s just, literally, no one in Angel Grove knows.”

“I swear I won’t tell anyone,” Trini promised. “It really suits you, though.” Kim blushed. “Can I ask? Why do you hide it? Seems like a lot of extra effort for people who aren’t worth it.”

“What usually motivates me?” Kim asked sarcastically, a dark tone Trini didn’t like coloring her words. “Impulse and peer pressure. Don’t stand out, be what people want you to be.” The rancid bitterness in Kim’s voice made Trini wince. “I changed so much of who I am to be what I wasn’t.” She ran a hand through her sleep mussed hair and sighed.

“We moved, briefly, to Canada and my cousins and classmates made fun of my accent with lame ass Harry Potter jokes. I was different enough being half-Indian, half-white and so desperate to fit in that I begged my parents for a way to get rid of it. They weren’t happy but relented and got me a dialect coach.”

“It sucks they made you feel that way.”

“Yeah well, I caved to the pressure, so that’s on me. Then by the time we moved here, it was natural for me to talk without it. I wanted to fit in so badly that I never let anyone hear me speak normally. No one’s ever noticed but you. I think when I slip up, they blame it on my Mom having an accent. No one really knows I grew up in London cuz I don’t mention it. I miss it there a lot if for nothing else than fitting in better.” 

“I don’t think the guys notice at all. I’ve looked at them when I’ve heard it and they’re clueless,” Trini explained. “It’s a reason why I thought I was imagining it.”

“That’s good to know,” Kim sighed. She saw Trini watching her and raised an eyebrow. “What?” The whine in Kim’s voice said she knew what she was going to ask.

“Can I hear it again? Pleeeeeease? It’s pretty. Let me hear it?” Trini sing-sang while making a sad, begging face. Kim sighed. She couldn’t say ‘no’ to those puppy-eyes. Probably ever. Damn this girl. 

“Fine.” Trini clapped her hands much the way Billy did when he was happy. “But you better not tell the boys.” 

“Cross my heart,” she swore as she made the symbol on her chest with her fingers. “Zack’ll just make lame Bond jokes or say Doctor Who shit.” Kim hummed her agreement.

“You’re right. I don’t need to hear him yelling ‘exterminate’ while punching Putties. Now, I can’t think of anything to say,” she then complained but the words were laced with a faint British accent that delighted Trini. “Help me think of something.”

“Tell me something about yourself,” Trini prodded. She laughed when Kim just glared. “What? You love talking about yourself.”

“Don’t be a prat.”

“Hahaha ‘prat’. Ok, let’s try this. Birth place?”

“Seattle, Washington,” Kim answered easily. 

Trini looked at her in surprise. “Really?”

“Yeah, my parents were over visiting and I exited prematurely. It was touch and go for a little while. My Dad says I was no bigger than a tiny baby bird.”

Trini was entranced by the accent and wanted to keep her talking long enough for the slight formal edge to her speech pattern to fade. “Always impatient, huh? I’m not surprised.”

“They were at a party. You know how I like attention,” Kim teased back. “Plus, it gave me American citizenship so I can vote here once I turn 18. I’ve got triple citizenship: the US, UK, and Canada. I might have had India too but my Mom forfeited her citizenship there for the UK.” The accent was slightly stronger as she saw that her friend wasn’t going to cruelly mock her for how she sounded. 

Trini noticed that something in Kim was more relaxed when she spoke with her accent. It was intriguing to her. She wanted to know what else Kim was hiding. That thought sent up a red flag to be careful with getting too close, especially so quickly but Trini wasn’t in the mood to listen to it at the moment; Kim was more compelling.

"Where were you born then?” Kim asked Trini. 

Trini bit her lip; it wasn’t like her to open up and start divulging things about herself to people, especially someone she’d only really known for 2 weeks. One of the things that upset her mother the most was her reluctance to speak at home; it drove the woman nuts. But for some reason with Kim, it was easy; for some reason, she _ wanted _ to talk to the older girl. Maybe it was because she felt that Kim was not only actually listening but really seeing her for who she was and not what she wanted her to be.

“Inglewood. My parents lived with my uncle at the time. Unlike you, I was late and a fat little baby. Dad called me Butterball for a while.” Kim laughed so hard she snorted. “Sorry, Baby bird, we can’t all be an instant Disney Princess.”

“I bet you were,” Kim countered. “All curly brown hair, chubby cheeks and big eyes. You would rule an entire Disney empire.”

“You just described yourself,” Trini giggled, deflecting. “You’re the Disney Princess. I’m more like a Disney Hero, like Hercules.”

“Female, 5’ tall, Mexican Hercules. Tiny Hercules. Pequeña Hercules”

“Hey! 5’1”.”

“Going the distance, cute, but sexist.”

“Wait a sec, do you speak Spanish?”

“Not much. One of my summer au pairs did, Luna. She spoke four languages and worked for 3 summers which was one of the longest times we kept an au pair. I was...6, 7, 8? I think, so, very little Spanish. Pequeña español.” Trini let that one go. 

“I am not tiny,” she protested instead. “God knew I’d be too much to handle if he made me any bigger so he didn’t.”

“If that isn’t the truth,” Kim agreed. “Lotsa bang in a little package.”

“Stop calling me little, Hart! Just cuz you’re freakishly tall.”

“5 foot 5 is not freakishly tall,” Kim tossed back, laughing. “Well, maybe to a tiny tiger it is.” Trini play glared at the older girl who smiled ‘innocently’ back at her. 

“Tiny tiger has claws,” she warned playfully. Usually being called any variation of small pissed her off but the sparkle in Kim’s chocolate eyes took all the sting out of the usual slur towards her. 

Kim put her hands up in surrender. “Put the claws away, Wolverine. I surrender.”

They were both comfortably quiet for a few long minutes before Kim broke the silence again, her tone much less jovial. A shadow crossed over her face, darkening her features, and it alarmed Trini. 

“Shit,” she swore more to herself than her friend. “I guess, I think before you make the choice to be my friend I should tell you the truth, like all of it. I want, if you even wanna be friends with me when I’m done, to start this friendship on the right foot, with honesty so maybe I won’t fuck it up like I do everything else.”

“I just shared a bed with you so you’re a little late. I’ve kinda already made the choice to be your friend but, what? What truth?” Trini had an inkling where this was going but didn’t want to crowd or push Kim. The former cheerleader wore many of her emotions on her sleeve but some of the deeper ones were kept tightly under lock and key. Trini didn’t want to jeopardize any glimpse into the inner sanctum of Kim’s emotions. She’d already seen so much of the girl’s private life in the past 12 hours that she wondered if she was getting all her Karma payout at the same time for saving the planet the day before.

Kim sat up fully and pulled her knees to her chest, curling into herself in a way that turned Trini’s stomach. She’d been to her mother’s job a few times and saw children from bad or troubled homes with similar body language, huddled to themselves in chairs as a form of protection or as a way to hide. She definitely didn’t expect to see that behavior from cool, confident, (formerly) popular ‘it girl’ Kim Hart. Didn’t expect it, didn’t like it and it filled her with a burning sense of protective rage she was unfamiliar with.

When Kim looked at her, Trini could see that the older girl was looking through her and not at her. It made her sad to see Kim disconnecting especially when she was pretty sure she knew what Kim was going to say. This angst on Kim’s part was unnecessary. 

“Kim…”

“The whole time we couldn’t morph- it was me,” the brunette said in a rush. “I was the reason we couldn’t do it. There was something I’d done that I was too ashamed to tell you guys about it. So, really, if any of us should have died for it, it should have been me, not Billy. That would have fixed things faster.” 

Trini shook her head; that didn’t make any sense. It was never about any one of them falling short but all of them failing to understand something elemental about what they needed to function as a team, a family. They were still trying to operate as individuals and not a team. They hadn’t built the connection needed to form the kind of trust a team like theirs needed to succeed. That needed bond had manifested when they lost Billy; that _ something _ which was lacking in the character of the four that they had yet to learn or discover burst forth. Trini didn’t believe for an instant that is was solely _ Kim’s _ fault. It wasn’t something any of them deserved to die for, either.

“We’d have taken you to Zordon, just the same,” she told her friend softly, being careful not to crowd her. As someone who didn’t like to be pushed upon either physically or verbally when in the kind of emotional state Kim was in, Trini tried to adjust her behavior to how she wished people treated her. “Result would have been the same.”

Not looking at the smaller teen, Kim shrugged. “Maybe. Or maybe Zordon would’ve come back instead and you woulda had a team who could’ve ended Rita for once and for all. Who knows?” She snorted. “Zordon in the pink armor is hilarious.” There was no humor in her tone, only sadness.

Seeing that road as a dead end as far as getting Kim to open up, Trini tried a different question. “Why do you think what you did was so bad that you couldn’t tell us?”

Kim rested her forehead against her knees so she couldn’t look at Trini. Or Trini couldn’t see her. “What I did was… horrific. I… I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this sooner but… God, you’re going to hate me. You know that nude picture of Amanda Clarke that’s been going around school?” 

Trini moved to put her arm around Kim’s shoulder. The flinch that jolted through the slim body destroyed some small part of Trini; that Kim would ever fear being hit by her (outside of training) was unthinkable. She’d die before hurting Kim like that. The fear of being hit that glanced briefly down the Ranger link disgusted her, not _ at _ Kim but that Kim felt it at all. Shame she could understand but the rest confused her.

_ Has someone hit you before? Cuz I’ll hit them back much harder. _

“I know all about that, Kim,” she admitted gently. She had to let Kim know she already knew so that she didn’t crucify herself over it anymore. 

The brunette’s head shot up and the look of fear in her eyes made Trini enormously sad; they were friends and they’d just saved the planet together but Kim was obviously terrified that this would ruin their friendship, one of the only friendships she had left. “And I know about your ex’s tooth.” Kim’s expression slowly shifted to confused.

“They put it back,” she muttered.

“It was a really, really shitty thing to do,” Trini continued, honestly. “The Amanda part, not hitting Ty.” Kim looked away quickly but Trini still saw the tears that began slipping down her face. They alarmed her slightly since Kim wasn’t someone who cried a lot. The one time she really saw Kim cry was when Billy (temporarily) died.

She grasped the older girl’s hand. “Shh. Don’t cry. I don’t hate you for it or anything. I knew about it before we became Rangers.”

  
“How?”

“I go to the same school you do, I got the text too,” she chuckled. “I deleted that real quick just in case my mother ever manages to get into my phone. That’s all I need for her to find. Plus, nudes aren’t my thing. And Amanda definitely isn’t my type.”

“How’d you know it was me?”

“You went from Queen Bee on a Friday afternoon to people writing on your locker for you to kill yourself by Monday morning and head cheerleader to banned from the field in the same weekend. I’m stealthy, not stupid. I see what’s going on around me even if I’m not actively participating.”

“I’m a horrible person,” Kim confessed, her voice full of such anguish and self-hatred that it made Trini cringe.”I deserve a lot worse than I’m getting.” The taller girl was still in so much pain from her actions that it came over the grid link and caused sympathetic pain in the Latina’s chest to bloom. There was no way to hold a grudge against Kim for her actions when Trini could literally feel how much Kim was punishing herself for what she did.

“I betrayed my best friend and I should’ve told you about it before now. I should’ve been upfront and told you this before we fought Rita. I’m such a fucking coward when it comes to my personal life, with being honest. I suck!”

“Kim, stop,” Trini interrupted. “I figured you’d tell me when you were ready.”

“I’m a terrible friend. Just a shitty person. You should know that before you get any closer. I’ll probably just end up fucking up our friendship too. Actually, yeah, you’re probably better off not being like, close friends with me. I don’t wanna hurt you or something.” She let out a long, sad sigh. “Damn it.” 

Trini could almost taste the self-loathing and it made her gag. The utter loneliness that poured over their link almost floored her.

_ Fuck, how do you function like this, Kim? How can anyone get out of bed in the morning hating themselves so much? How do you hide it so well? Shit. _

Keeping her voice calm and soothing, Trini told her the truth. “You made a mistake. A really fucking shitty one, I wanna make that perfectly clear. It made me mad cuz you had no right to do it. As bad as what Amanda and Ty did was, you went too far.” Kim let out a tiny whimper and tightened in her curled up position. 

“Hey, it’s ok. You’re not a shitty person…”

“How? How is anything I did remotely ok?” Kim hissed. 

“It’s not, that’s not what I mean. What you did sucks but I can forgive you for it because I see remorse. A shitty person doesn’t feel remorse, they don’t care enough. They don’t do things like risk their own life to save a town they hated. They don’t reach out and make friends with surly, antisocial, prats.” This won her a small smile although Kim still didn’t look up. “You’re not a bad person, Kim. And maybe you were a bad friend before all this but so far, you’ve been a good friend to me so why don’t we stick with that and see how it goes?”

Slowly, Kim finally lifted her head and her tear-stained face met Trini’s. “I’d like that.” 

“Then let’s do that cuz I don’t give a fuck what others think, I can decide for myself.”

“You won’t be making any friends or making things easier for yourself at school,” Kim warned. “They’ve been kinda mean lately. They’ll add you to it if they see we’re friends.”

“They already don’t like me. Bring it,” Trini challenged. “I’ll deal.” She smiled gently. “We’ll deal.” Her stomach growled loudly, breaking the remaining tension.

Kim glanced at the clock. “Shit! Wow, we slept late; it’s nearly 1PM. I haven’t fed you, either. Bad host!” The change of subject was welcome. “My beloved Krispy Kreme is gone! Whatever shall we eat?” She dropped back onto the bed dramatically. Trini waited for the wince that didn’t come and silently blessed Ranger healing. 

“We could cook something. You know, real food?”

Kim looked around for her phone. Upon seeing it indented in her bureau, she reached for her laptop. “We could, but I’m gonna hop on GrubHub instead. What do you want? My treat.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it.  
\- no clue what happened with the formatting in the second half. Sorry.


	2. Bonfire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The five finally get to have their celebratory bonfire. Spending bonding time together reminds them that they're still getting to know one another and where their boundaries are. 
> 
> CHAPTER TAGS: Adult Language, Mentions of alcohol use, Mentions of marijuana use, PSTD, emotional hurt/comfort, a quick moment of sexual imagery if you squint with a dirty mind, no one goes through what they did and is ok after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> Thanks for the incredibly warm welcome. I'm not sure that I can keep to a schedule because I have a lot going on but I wanted to post an update so you knew that I was here and as a Thank-you.  
Chapters probably won't be as long as that first one- it was actually 3 chapters pasted together that I posted as a chunk to introduce myself. They'll vary but always over 1000 words. 
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy this ride.

The following Saturday, the five teens were able to get together and have their celebratory bonfire. With the school still under construction to repair the trashed roof, there was no detention so Zack, Jason, and Billy spent the day finishing the rebuilding of their spot. They had spent the week redesigning it to make it more comfortable for camping and hanging out. It had been great for Zack to spend time there when it was just himself but it could get a bit crowded when it was all of them. 

They’d dug a true fire pit, several feet across and deep, and lined it with large rocks. Then, they collected plenty of kindling and good wood to burn throughout the night. Around the large fire pit were their various seats; some were collapsible canvas chairs kept safe in the nearby train car, others were found objects they’d carted there, and a few logs with notches carved out over the week by Billy and Jason using axes. There were three tents set up, each a good space away from one another for privacy, further away from the fire pit area. As soon as they had the money, the guys were going to buy another tent so they each had their own.

By the time Kim arrived later in the day with food and other supplies, the area looked almost perfect.

“Nice job, guys,” Kim complimented as she took in their area.

“Thanks!” Billy said happily.

“Yo, I thought Crazy Girl was gonna be with you,” Zack pointed out. 

“Her mother’s making her stay for dinner before she can come out camping with us,” the Pink Ranger explained. “She shouldn’t be too far behind me, though. The lines at the store were horrible. Two registers open out of 20? What the hell? It was jam-packed too.”

“Did you get everything on the list?” Jason asked, walking over to unload the various bags out from the back of the silver SUV that Kim borrowed from her parents. They weren’t in town so she knew they wouldn’t miss it. It saved on long-term parking fees as well. 

“Most of it. I hate grocery shopping so, ‘not it’ for the next trip,” she complained. Jason nodded and handed her the collected pile of cash to pay her back.

“Did you get the marshmallows?” 

“They’re in the purple bag.” 

Billy clapped happily and searched the canvas bag, coming up with supplies for what looked to be enough s’mores for a small army. “You bought the good chocolate! Thanks, Kim!”

“Any alcohol in those bags?” Zack wondered with an eyebrow wiggle. “We’ve only got 2 six-packs.”

Kim rolled her eyes. “Since it doesn’t really affect us as much and I’m not 21, no.”

“Damn it,” the Black Ranger muttered. “If you drink enough of it, it does.”

“For about 30 minutes. The ratio of money spent to the rate of intoxication makes it a waste of money,” Billy pointed out. 

“At least weed still works,” Zack sighed, wishing he had some. “But I’m tapped out.”

“I wonder why it still works?” Jason asked.

“My theory is that alcohol is technically a poison to our systems so our advanced healing attacks it as such and cancels it out before we feel much if any of its effects. While there are likely dangers to cannabis that aren’t well known to science yet, our Ranger healing must not see it as a high priority and therefore allows it to linger and affect us,” Billy stated simply. “It still clears our systems quicker than a normal human.”

“Ok then,” Kim summed up. “Makes sense, really.” Billy grinned at her. He loved that he could go on a tangent like that and not only did his friends listen, they understood and often at least one of them agreed or added to his theories. He felt truly accepted and understood for the first time since his father passed.

“You still ok with sharing a tent with Trini?” Jason asked. “Zack and I are sharing one but Billy’s got his own. I’ve got another spare one I can put up if it’s a problem. It doesn’t shut all the way and it’s got a leak though too.”

Kim scoffed. “Nah, no problem. She’s tiny; how much room can she possibly take up?” She said it like she hadn’t already shared sleeping space with her and eyed the other end of her car from where she stood. A small smile was pulling at the left side of her mouth.

“This from the blanket hog,” a raspy voice countered from a few feet away. Kim’s face lit up; she thought she saw a Trini shaped shadow. 

“Trini, don’t lie. I do not hog blankets!”

Trini smirked as she came around the far side of the SUV, runsack slung over her shoulder and a small duffle in one hand. “You burrow down and wrap yourself up like a burrito, Princesa. You’re a blanket hog.”

“At least I let you in the burrito,” Kim grumbled playfully. “I could’ve left you on the mattress to freeze to death instead.”

“You wouldn’t,” Trini challenged with a gentle hip check. 

Kim let out a long-suffering sigh. “You’re right, probably not- but only because you’re a surprisingly good cuddler.”

“Shhhh!” Trini hissed, feeling her ears burning. She wanted to hear Kim’s natural London-raised British accent again but understood why she hid it. The fact that she was the only one that had gotten to hear the brunette’s true speaking voice at all meant the world to her. It made her wonder what she’d have to ask or do to get Kim to use it when they were alone together. 

_ That’d be worth showing her a drawing for! _

“Ooooo! Jason, the girls are sharing a bed,” Zack cackled suggestively and then sang loudly. “Kim and Trini up in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!” He applauded himself and seemed to daydream before whistling lowly. “Whoa, on second thought, that’s really hot.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “Any details you ladies wanna share about your cuddling? Who was the big spoon?”

The somewhat dazed look on his face did not amuse Trini even though she knew he was only joking. She hated the idea of being easily offended but this was hitting her sideways and pissing her off. The last thing she ever wanted was a friend looking at her the way Zack currently was because of her sexuality. That feeling of being objectified like this left a filthy taste in her mouth and a phantom layer of grime on her skin. She did not want to be (and by extension cause Kim to be) masturbatory material for anyone, never mind someone she knew, like Zack. Especially since he was male. 

Her teeth ground together and she bit down on an angry answer, trying not to react like she used to and reminding herself that these were her friends who wouldn’t hurt her on purpose. But she couldn’t stop herself from kicking a rock at him and his yelp of pain was very satisfying. 

“Zack, enough!” Jason scolded with a deep frown. “Apologize right now.” Zack already looked horrified at what had come out of his mouth.

As if sensing the oncoming storm from the smaller girl, Kim took the duffle from her brushing their fingers together. Some of the tension eased at the touch and their eyes met for a moment. “Easy,” Kim whispered, easing the runsack off tense shoulders. “He doesn’t mean anything by it.” Her voice was so low only Trini could hear her. Trini gave her a curt nod of understanding.

“Hey, those are not cool things to say, Zack,” Billy defended his friends. While both girls were undeniably aesthetically pleasant to look at (ok, they were very pretty), he didn’t like the implication that he understood in Zack’s comment. He was more aware of some things than he was prone to letting on. 

Not wanting the entire evening to be awkward before it started, Kim smirked devilishly at the tall teen. “You tried chasing Trini the day we met her with no luck. You’re just jealous that I have better game than you,” the former cheerleader tossed back. 

Zack blushed and shook his head, grateful that she was joking with him. He felt like a heel. 

“So, get your tiny mind out of the gutter, perv,” Kim went on with just enough edge to her voice to let Zack know she was offended and giving him a warning. “It’s called co-sleeping and it’s not just for babies. Just because you’re insecure and emotionally stunted doesn’t mean the rest of us are.” She looked at Trini who was smirking smugly at Zack. “Well, Trini’s a bit stunted…” The Yellow Ranger spun to face her with her jaw hanging open. 

“Excuse me?” 

“But you make a terrific little spoon!” Kim tried and failed to recover. Trini kept glaring at her although it lacked its usual fire. “Uhm, did you know that Simon Pegg and Nick Frost co-slept when they shared an apartment before they hit it big?”

“What is it with you and those movies?” Trini asked with a grin although she enjoyed them too.

“I like comedy?” Kim suggested cheekily.

“Look at ‘random useless knowledge Princess’ coming in with the win,” Zack laughed nervously. Frowning, he turned to Trini. “Hey, dude, I’m sorry. Old habits die hard. I’m still getting used to having like, actual friends and my mouth gets away from me. I’m sorry, both of you. I respect you guys. Trini, you’re my bro, y’know? And Kim, you’re the Princess. I don’t mean that in a bad way, either. You just...are. I love you two. Forgive me?” He was sincere and gave them his best puppy dog eyes.

“Stop looking so pathetic, loser; I forgive you already,” Trini groaned, punching him in the upper arm a little harder than necessary but Zack said nothing and took the hit, knowing he and his teenage hormones deserved it. He was learning to be better, as they all were and he was so thankful to have the other four to help him find the right path for himself. They were making him a better person. He hoped he was doing some good for them too.

“Next time, I’m kicking you in the nuts, though,” the Latina warned darkly. “You don’t talk about or to any women that way, especially Kim or me.” Zack put his hands up in a placating manner and nodded.

“I read you loud and clear, T. Kim?”

“What she said,” the brunette smiled before she turned all her attention to the Yellow Ranger. “Would you set me up a chair while I put your bags in the tent with mine?” 

The question clearly dismissed the previous discussion and they all breathed a small sigh of relief; Jason was their leader but sometimes Kim was their guide. 

Trini gave her side-eye. “I dunno. You called me stunted and little in one sentence.”

“It was two and I meant _ emotionally _ stunted, not like, in size,” Kim defended with a shy smile. “I only said little in the spoon sense.”

“Spoon sense?”

“Yup!”

“Ok, fine,” Trini pretended to be burdened by the task.

Kim gave her a smile that made Trini feel lighter than air. “Awesome! Just not..”

“Not too close to the fire, I know,” Trini grinned. “Can’t have the Princess melt. I’ll get you a root beer and find an extra-long stick so you can poke at the fire in angry revenge, too.”

“Aww, so thoughtful,” Kim teased. Trini stuck her tongue out at the taller girl’s retreating back.

Neither noticed the amused and befuddled looks that Zack, Billy, and Jason exchanged. Non-verbally, they agreed that it wasn’t their business and the girls looked too happy to ruin it by asking questions. 

*

“Man, running across that desert in the Zords was the fucking best!” Zack roared. “We were like this thunderous apocalypse coming to kick Rita’s ass! I’ve never felt so powerful! And the suits? Aw, man, just the best!”

“As soon as I got mine turned around, heck yeah!” Billy agreed, wiping the chocolate off his chin. He loved s’mores. 

“That was hilarious dude! ‘Jason! Jason! I’m going backwards’!” the Black Ranger laughed. “I love you, man!”

Billy smiled. He wasn’t being laughed at; he was being celebrated and it made him laugh too. The love and affection he felt over the link he shared with his friends made him feel warm and floaty.

“You totally kicked ass too,” Zack added, his voice a bit more serious. “You totally took Rita out when Kim dropped you on her. BOOM! Out she went! So sweet!”

“Too bad she recovered so quickly,” Jason sighed.

“If we’d known the gold would recharge her and moved her away from it, the fight woulda ended,” Trini pointed out. “We could have won it right there ‘cause of you.” She tapped Billy on the sneaker with her long ‘fire poking’ stick. 

He grinned at her. “Kim helped and now I know what all those buttons on my dashboard do!” Inside, he was so proud and filled with love for his friends, especially Kim at the moment as she handed him a fresh 3-tier s’more. She was the only one of them who could make the triple-decker without dropping it or incurring burns. Trini found sourly ironic since Kim was clearly uncomfortable near the fire. It bugged her that the guys didn’t see it.

“We should have had more info before we charged in,” Jason grumbled. They’d been so gung-ho and in a hurry after they got Billy back that they’d skipped asking a few fundamental questions that almost cost them everything. As a leader, Jason was still struggling with that shortcoming. 

“Yeah, now we know to ask,” Trini shrugged. “We won; move on.” 

Jason wished it could be that easy. They had a lot of work to do before they would really be a powerful force but he knew tonight wasn’t the time to get into it. “What did you guys think of your Zords? I’ve never felt so… comfortable or in tune with something like that before. Not even playing football felt so natural. It was wild.”

“Same here!” Billy bounced in place. 

“I love my Zord,” Trini grinned wickedly. “She’s so fluid it’s like I don’t even have to think about how to move her, she just moves. And she moves like a cat would, all sleek and smooth. Her claws cut right into Goldar. It was sweet.”

“She?” Zack asked.

Leveling a decent glare, she challenged him. “Yeah, she. Got a problem with that?”

“No,” he was quick to say. The last thing he needed was to slip up again. “Mine’s a he. I’ve even named him but I’ve changed it like three times. Right now it’s cheesy; Morpheus. I just can’t think of a good one.”

“Oh, it’s not a generic ‘she’. Her name is Soledad,” she explained.

“That’s pretty. Did we all name our Zords?” Billy wondered. “Mine is Tyrion. I like the name but I don’t like that tv show or book series. Too violent.”

“I’m unoriginal,” Jason griped. “I just call mine Rex.”

“Mine is P’Terry, but I pronounce the P,” Kim snorted. “I amuse myself.”

“Morpheus, Soledad, Tyrion, Rex, and P’Terry. We are some messed up superheroes,” the Black Ranger commented. 

“The best superheroes are messed up,” Kim tossed back. Smirking, she looked around the fire at her friends. “Yeah, we’re collectively messed up enough to work.”

“Hey!” Jason laughed and threw a marshmallow at her. 

“Ah, the fallen from grace, hero jock!” Kim called back. She bounced the marshmallow in her hands for a moment, looking at her friends before she threw it at Zack. “The trouble-maker.”

“Aw, Princess, not nice,” he chuckled even though she was right.

“Throw it to me!” Billy cheered. Catching it easily, he looked at Kim expectantly.

“The sweet but strange genius,” she smiled as he blushed and tossed the squishy ball of white to Trini who arched an eyebrow at the older girl. 

“So?” she challenged.

Kim thought for a moment. “The bigger than life badass with a heart of gold.”

They all laughed and Trini was glad that her hair and the dim light could hide both her wide smile and her blush. She handed the treat over to Kim. 

“What about you?” Jason prodded. 

“The effed up head case,” the brunette answered easily as she tossed the marshmallow into the fire and watched it burn. “Or the disgraced cheerleader with nothing left. Pick one.”

“That’s kinda dark,” Jason said.

“The truth usually is,” Kim responded.

“You got us figured out then, huh?” Zack joked. 

Kim sat back with a triumphant expression. “Of course! Princess knows all.” 

Trini snorted her soda.

“I’ve been dying to know, what was it like to fly like that?” Jason asked. The way Kim’s eyes filled with joy matched the flood of the same emotion that went over the Ranger link. The feeling answered the question along with the wide grin that nearly split the half-Indian teen’s face in half.

“Literally the best thing I’ve ever experienced,” she said wistfully. “I felt free. Like nothing could touch me or hold me down.”

Lit up by the firelight and a few low, battery-operated torches, Kim’s face seemed to glow, making Trini’s breath catch in her throat audibly. She quickly covered the sound by fake choking on a sip of soda. “M’ok,” she reassured her concerned friends. 

Billy had his eyes closed with one hand over his chest, a small smile on his face like he was absorbing the way it felt for Kim to fly through the Ranger link. Trini concentrated to do the same and it felt like being lit up from within; what Kim felt was so far beyond a feeling of joy or freedom that it lacked a word to represent it. It was breathtaking. If they could find a way to bottle and sell it, no one would suffer from depression ever again.

But it also made Trini wonder exactly how trapped Kim actually felt on the ground, in her life that being freed from it would feel so heavenly.

“If we hadn’t been in the middle of saving the world, I’m not sure I would have ever come back down. I could have just flown off into the sky and never looked back.” Kim laughed it off after she said it and the boys laughed with her but the comment left a strange feeling in Trini’s chest; it was both hollow and like a weight had settled and swelled inside, stretching her ribs painfully. 

Looking to see if the boys noticed anything off about the comment, she only saw them laughing and listening to her talk. She might have been willing to let it go if there hadn’t been a pang of aching longing at the end of the statement, like Kim still wanted to leave, escape and not come back. It was a painful contrast to the feeling of elation that preceded it.

Trini reached out through the link to see what else she could find on Kim’s end only to feel it slam shut on her for a moment before it opened again. The feeling of longing was now gone and replaced by what Trini would call emotional static.

Looking up, she saw very intense brown eyes watching her knowingly and with a bit of a warning in them. Trini raised an eyebrow in question and got irritation and a tired feeling back through the link along with an unhappy facial expression.

When the conversation naturally turned to another subject, Kim turned to Trini. “What?” she hissed. “Why were you yanking on the Ranger link like that?”

“Sorry. I was just seeing if you were ok.” It was such a weak answer that she nearly winced. 

Kim rolled her eyes. “Knock it off, I’m perfectly fine. It felt like you thought I was lying or there was something wrong with how I felt. I really like flying and how it makes me feel; don’t ruin it for me, please.”

“I wouldn’t, I swear,” Trini promised, upset with herself for making it seem that way. Kim relaxed some at her sincerity. “I’m happy something makes you feel so good.” 

Kim smiled at that. “It’s such total freedom. Nothing trapping me here. I can’t wait to do it again.” She grasped Trini’s hand and squeezed, giving the younger girl a happy look and then reengaged the conversation that Jason, Billy, and Zack were having about morphing into the Megazord. But, she didn’t let go of Trini’s hand.

*

Several hours later, after the s’mores were eaten and they began to fall asleep around the campfire, Kim and Trini retreated to the relative quiet of their tent.

“An air mattress. You’re a smart one, Princesa,” Trini complimented upon seeing it. 

“I had Jason inflate it this afternoon. The ground gets freaking cold camping,” Kim complained. She sat on the mattress and yawned.“I hope you don’t mind that it’s a king-size and I didn’t get like, two twins or something instead. Especially given what Zack said earlier.” She seemed conflicted for a minute. “Uh, I can sleep in the SUV if you want? So he doesn’t make any more comments. It’s roomy enough. I’ll go.” She started to get up but Trini pushed her back down by the shoulder and sat down with her.

“Zack’s an ass. You know I don’t mind sharing space with you,” she reassured her friend. “I kinda figured it’d be like this.” By ‘figured’ she had meant ‘hoped’ but she wasn’t going to tell her crush that. Obviously, sharing the bed wasn’t an issue for Kim or she would have brought 2 air mattresses.

Kim smiled and relaxed. “Ok, cool! I didn’t wanna assume but we both slept so well the other night.” She yawned again and stretched, her nightshirt riding up and giving Trini a good show of her sculpted abs. The younger girl was glad there was only low light in the tent since the view had made her blush. Or, given how warm she suddenly was, the right word was ‘flush’.

She nodded, unable to deny that she’d slept really well with Kim around. She also couldn’t deny that she hadn’t really slept much since then, the nightmares and deep-rooted fear that some phantom of Rita was still lingering in her bedroom prevented any truly restful slumber. She prayed that being close to Kim not only let her get some much-needed sleep but that it would also prevent any possibly embarrassing night terror induced screams from escaping and exposing her problem to the other Rangers. It wasn’t a big problem just yet and she wanted to deal with it on her own, with a little help from Kim who seemed to need the same kind of comfort given how tired her usually sparkling eyes looked.

“Yeah, it’s no problem.”

“I hope none of the guys snore. I really need to sleep.” 

Seeing an opening, Trini took it. “Having trouble?”

“Not really. It’s just the house is so empty,” Kim sighed. “I didn’t use to care but lately…” she shrugged and then shook her head. “It’s nothing, nevermind.”

“Wait…”

“Nah. Doesn’t matter, not important. It’s just me bitching over nothing. Nevermind.” The tone was friendly but there was an outer edge that let Trini know to drop it as much as she didn’t want to. She wanted to slam her foot into the tiny crack in Kim’s emotional ‘door’ that had appeared but didn’t dare. Pushing again after her earlier misstep with the Ranger bond might make Kim less likely to share with her at all and that wasn’t what Trini wanted. 

“I remembered my retainer,” she said as she grabbed it from her bag. “Don’t you dare tell the guys I wear one.”

“Or what?” Kim challenged playfully.

“I’ll tell them you secretly sound like Paddington Bear,” she smirked. 

Kim’s face was the picture of indignation and she swung her pillow at the smaller girl’s head. “I do not! That’s vicious slander!” Her accent was strong as she denied it. Inside, Trini cheered because that was exactly what she wanted.

Trini erupted into giggles. “Yeah, denying it _ with _ the accent helps!” They both started to laugh and giggle, overtired and hopped up on sugar.

“Oh God, shut up!” Zack screamed from his tent. “It’s 2 AM! Go to sleep!”

“Fuck off, loser!”

“Yeah! Fuck off, Zack!”

“Jaaaa-soon! They’re ganging up on me!”

“Fuck off and go to sleep, Zack, or get your own tent.”

Once they calmed down and were laying down on their backs looking up, Kim spoke. “Trin? Can I ask a favor?”

“Sure. Anything.”

“Stop… Don’t worry so much, ok?”

“About what?”

“Everything. Me. Anything. You get this little crease right here,” she turned over and gently rubbed the space between Trini’s eyebrows, “and it’s adorable but you don’t have to, alright? Don’t stress over every little thing, real or imaginary. It’s not worth it, you'll get wrinkles.” She ended her request with a tap on the tip of Trini’s nose. 

_ What? ‘Not worth’? _ Trini’s mind disagreed.  _ I’m not imagining… that’s not…. _

“Hang on. Do you seriously think you’re not…”

A rumbling came from Kim’s stomach as she rubbed it with a groaning sigh. “I shouldn’t eat so many s’mores with so much root beer, the sugar crash wipes me out.”

“Wh… “

“Rollover, little spoon,” Kim said, disregarding Trini’s half-asked questions. She shoved Trini not too lightly on the shoulder in an effort to move her.

“Kim, I’m talking…”

“Rollover,” the brunette repeated, still talking like the other girl hadn’t spoken. “Don’t make me roll you over. Pequena Hercules or not, I will do it.” The next shove was even harder.

Clearly, Kim didn’t want to talk any further on the subject.

Trini begrudgingly rolled over. “Can’t believe you, making me roll over in the middle of a conversation,” she muttered as they resettled. “OK, there, is that better?” 

Kim sighed in the affirmative. She settled in immediately and threw her arm over Trini’s waist, pulling her close and letting out a happy grunt once she was comfortable.

Trini loved the embrace but still had something to say. “Good. Now can I ask my question?” Kim started to hum but didn’t object. Trini took a few moments to collect her thoughts. “Do you really think you’re not worth me worrying about? Cuz that’s kinda fucked up, don’t you think? We’re friends now and teammates. And y’know, you say shit that makes me wonder…” She realized the humming had stopped.

“Kim, I swear if you fell asleep already…”

Sometime later, Trini was awoken by the shaking of the air mattress and a whimper which could only be Kim. Opening her eyes, she saw Kim on her back, having thrown her half of the sleeping bag off, trembling and sweaty in her sleep.

“Kim?” she called softly. 

“S’hot,” Kim kicked out in response. Reaching over, the Latina felt Kim’s arm but other than being sweaty and shaking, it didn’t feel overly warm. 

“Kim?” she tried again to wake her friend but Kim only grew more distressed. A flutter of fear traveled over their shared link.

“Don’ like it…” she whined. This was the first time the brunette was talking in her sleep but then again, Trini figured her window of expertise as far as Kim’s sleeping habits were concerned was small so maybe this was normal.

She cuddled closer and brushed some damp hair away from Kim’s forehead and ear. “What don’t you like, sweetie?” she couldn’t help the term of affection when Kim was so vulnerable and it was just the two of them alone. “How can I help?” Praying that Kim could hear her, she started stroking her thumb over the older girl’s cheek slowly, trying to bring her around. She wasn’t overly affectionate with anyone but with Kim, it seemed to come naturally without any forethought; Trini just reached out on instinct.

“Fire,” Kim cried out softly as if to answer although she was still asleep, “hurts… burns… nooooo… _ please _...” she begged desperately. The flutter of fear grew stronger. “No more…not again…” She gave a soft cry of utter terror while twisting and squirming against the smaller teen as if trying to escape her burning Zord again. As if her burns hurt again. 

Trini’s breath caught in her throat; they’d been so happy to have their bonfire celebration that other than the passing thought to keep Kim away from the heat, no one had considered what seeing actual roaring flames might do to the Ranger who had taken the brunt of the fire attacks from their battle. The Ranger who was nearly burned alive.

_ She’s not just scared of fire, she’s petrified! _ Trini realized with a guilty feeling. _ She’s got PTSD! I didn’t realize it was this bad. Damn it, why didn’t you say so, Kim? We could have done something else! Or had a smaller fire to start with and eased you into a bigger one. Ay Dios Mio. _

Nausea rolled through her with the thought that Kim sat there in front of her own personal nightmare without saying anything and she cursed the older girl’s ability to manipulate the Ranger link to hide how she felt. She tried to imagine sitting in a barrel of cold seawater that reeked of dead fish for a few hours, ‘for funzies’ like Kim had with the bonfire and wondered what kind of thoughtless monsters would do that to their friend. 

“I'm so sorry we're so stupid,” she sighed. “That no one- _I _ didn’t think of it. I thought it was just heat, not flames. I’ll be better, I promise. We all will.” 

Gathering the upset teen into her arms she began to try to soothe her with touches, soft murmuring, and gentle caresses. Despite not knowing Kim for that long, the physicality wasn't too strange; it was oddly natural but Trini tossed that errant thought aside. She sent calm through the link hoping it would reach her upset friend.

“You’re safe, Princesa. There’s no fire here. Just me and you. I’ve got you; you’re safe.” Slowly, Kim’s trembling and upset muttering calmed as she cuddled into Trini and relaxed. “That’s it, cariño. Go back to sleep. There’s no fire here.”

“Trini,” Kim breathed into the embrace, at least minimally awake a little while later after the shaking stopped completely.

“Hey, yup, it’s me,” she greeted. 

“Wassss goin’ on?”

“I thought I heard something but I think it was one of the boys snoring,” Trini lied automatically. Chances were Kim wouldn’t remember this moment in the morning anyway.

“Uggg, boys,” Kim whined, flopping bonelessly further onto Trini, “boo, got you.”

It was at least another hour before the tiny smile faded from Trini’s face, even in sleep.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!


	3. Not Quite the Teenage Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night before Angel Grove High reopens, Trini finds herself reflecting on her past while Zack is having a personal crisis.  
TAGS: light angst, Trini & Zack friendship, a brief mention of female OC.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> Fun fact about this chapter: Most of the first 'book', The Heart, as written when I first posted. Or so I thought. I wrote this chapter over this last week. It's not as solid as the other chapters but it came to me and I felt it fit in the flow. It's one of the things I love about writing, the way things change and shift even as you're writing it.  
I hope you like it!

Taped to the surface of her desk, the picture seemed to mock Trini. No matter how hard she tried or which way she moved her papers, she always ended up with two smiling faces staring up at her. Her own face, more rounded and brighter with less of the stress she now carried looked back at her from beside a girl with bright eyes and a dazzling smile. Those eyes once sparkled in the sunlight that streaked through the cracks in the bleachers at her school two moves ago. For just the briefest moment, as the light bounced off of them she would have sworn they glowed. Especially from so, so close. 

Trini shook herself loose and picked at the corner of the tape. That was the last happy moment she had at that school, in that town. Then it was on to the next.

Now those eyes were faded and dull along with the gloss on the layer of tape Trini had put down to keep the picture in place. It wouldn’t matter if the picture was damaged, she had digital copies. Taping it there was an act of defiance towards her mother regarding their having to move again. June could take her away but she couldn’t erase Trini’s memories or how she felt. No amount of running could. The added bonus was that it meant she’d still get to see Jessica’s face every day even if it was only in 2 dimensions.

Trini ran her fingers over Jessie’s face and sighed. They used to text after she moved the first time but, after she’d arrived in Angel Grove the texting had slowed down until the messages had pretty much stopped. 

_ No, until I stopped answering her _ , Trini chastised herself. _ She was still trying but I was being a moody dumbass who didn’t wanna talk. I took my shit out on Jess for no reason. _

For a minute she considered taking out her phone and texting her friend from two years ago but then decided it was probably better for Jessie if she didn’t. Especially now that she had the responsibility of being a Power Ranger. It was probably safer to let it go.

_ Or I’m a coward who doesn’t want to apologize for ghosting her. Shit, she probably doesn’t even think about me._ _It’s been over two years and… whatever. _Still, she didn’t remove the picture; she couldn’t yet.

The tree outside the stained glass window began to rustle and as much as Trini wished it was Kim, the former gymnast didn’t need any help from the tree to get to the window. Nor would she disturb it as much if she did. Leaning over, she opened the regular window and peered down.

“Yo, loser, what’re you doing?” she hiss-whispered at Zack suspiciously. Her eyes darted to the door; he was making what seemed like a ton of noise. The last thing she needed was her mother barging in thinking it was some really wacked version of Romeo & Juliet.

_ Who am I kidding? She’d probably cheer it on. _

Flashing a charming smile, Zack answered, “Visiting!”

Unfortunately for Zack, the smile was virtually useless on Trini. Still, she stepped aside to let him in. “If you get caught here, we’re both dead. You get that?” He nodded as his feet thumped softly on the carpet. “What’s up?”

“You going back to school tomorrow?” he asked as he looked around the room. Her father had done some cursory repairs to the space which made it easier for her to sleep without the constant reminder of Rita’s attack. The little Power Rangers mural her brothers had started on her wall helped too. It was starting to take up a good section of that wall and she loved working on it with them.

“Yeah, of course. Kinda have to, same as you.”

“I don’t want to,” he frowned.

“Neither do I but unless they postpone it again…” she shrugged. The moment Zack’s eyes lit up, she pointed at the window. “Nope, whatever dumbass thought you just had, keep it to yourself. I’m not helping you do something stupid to cancel school. That’s Jason’s thing. Go see him.”

Zack flopped backwards onto Trini’s bed with a heavy sigh. “Why not?” he whined. 

“Because we have shit for luck and will get caught for one thing,” Trini informed him. “I don’t need to say anything more than that.”

The dark haired boy pouted at her.

“Seriously, why are you here, dude? Everything ok with your Mama?”

Touched that it was the first thing she asked, Zack shook his head. “She’s good, thanks. No, I’m just… I’m having one of those moments when it hits me that, shit, I’m like really a real-life superhero and it’s just, whoa. I can do all this cool stuff and I’ve got this huge robot mastodon Zord that I control but… I still have to get to fucking homeroom on time? What kinda shit is that?” 

Trini sat on the bed beside him; she’d been wrestling with similar issues. Since learning that aliens were real and being changed into a superhero by them it had been hard to go to sleep and wake up thinking anything was real. After almost dying trying to save the planet, it was hard to imagine trying to refocus her mind on something as mundane as history or how to conjugate a verb. What year the Magna Carta was signed, by who and why just didn’t seem as important. Not that that piece of information was beyond a certain point, anyway. Now, the whole idea of returning to school like everything was normal felt surreal and she was glad to know she wasn’t the only one feeling that way.

Kim had almost been excited to go back to school, which in Trini’s opinion was a little unhealthy. It wasn’t that Trini disliked school, in fact she enjoyed it but a little time off never hurt anyone. Then again, with no one at home to interact with maybe Trini couldn’t blame Kim for wanting something to keep herself occupied with. Or maybe she wanted the return to normalcy. Kim didn’t look to be a big fan of sudden change, or any change really.

“It’s just bizarre, you know?” he went on. “Nothing’s felt real in what feels like forever. I keep expecting to wake up or something. Like I took a rock to the head at the mine and I’ve been out cold since then.”

“Yeah.” It blew Trini’s mind that it was all because of a few pretty glowing rocks. She took her power coin out of her pocket and held it up to the light, peering at it. The lights on in the room bounced off and through it leaving a stripe of yellow across the right side of her face. 

“It’s fucking crazy, isn’t it?” Zack’s voice was hushed and lacked his usual bravado. Instead, he sounded young and not a little bit lost. Much the way Trini felt.

Still looking at her coin, Trini nodded. “Yeah,” she repeated, lacking anything better to express herself with.

Zack took out his coin and copied what Trini was doing. Light shimmered through his coin and reflected onto his face as well. His face was lit in a dark shade of purple-nearly-black.

“A month ago, no… less than, I was wondering what I was gonna do to get the money for Mama’s meds,” Zack started softly, “and worrying about what’s gonna happen to me when she… when…”

Feeling some of his fear and grief over their link, Trini lightly shoved his shoulder in comfort. It may be getting easier for her to seek and accept physical comfort from Kim but she wasn’t anywhere near that point with Zack. Sometimes she wanted to shove a sock in his mouth to shut him up but for the most part he was ok.

“I get it,” she said to give him a way to continue without having to give voice to his worst fear. Zack reached over and took her coin before she could stop him and held in his other hand. 

“Yeah, right and I thought… man, I thought that was the hardest thing. Like, where am I gonna live? Work? How’m I gonna eat? Like, everyday things and it was terrifying trying to figure it all out,” he explained. Trini watched as the hand holding her coin vibrated lightly and the stone grew brighter.

“But what made it like, manageable I guess is that they’re all things that if I worked my ass off and y’know even if I had to swipe a meal here and there, I could handle it.” Now, Zack’s wrist was leaning towards Trini like the coin was gently pulling his arm to her. Both teens were watching curiously as it started to slowly pulse.“I’m smart and I know how to hussle so I can get a job which will lead to food and a home. It’s all doable. I can do it.”

“Ok,” Trini said after he’d gone quiet too long. Her coin suddenly popped free from Zack’s fingers but she’d been watching it wiggle itself loose and was ready. 

“Nice catch,” Zack complimented her after it slapped back into her hand. It lit up for a moment and then powered back down as if giving off a happy sigh and settling in.

Trini shook off her personification of an inanimate object.

“Yeah. You were saying?”

With a heavy groan, Zack finished his thought. “And now, all that seems stupid, childish. Like school does. Who cares about English class and meeting your goals in PE when something alien and evil like Rita could attack the planet at any moment and when you’re partially responsible for stopping whatever tries? What’s the point?”

Again, he was making points that Trini was trying to work through as well. 

“Now, because of the coin I’ve got a place to sleep and food to eat at the Ship if anything happens but, I’ve traded all that worry for like, literally cosmic levels of craziness and responsibility.”

“So what, you wanna give the coin up?” she asked seriously. He didn’t answer her with anything more than a sigh. “I thought about it, at first.”

“You, T? I thought you liked all this.”

“Fuck no, are you kidding?” Trini scoffed. “I don’t like standing out and this,” she held up her coin again, “makes us stand out whether anyone knows or not. I just wanted to be left alone until I graduated so I could go to college and get the hell out of here.” She didn’t bother to add anything about affording college; if anyone understood, it was Zack.

She closed her fist around the coin feeling its warm weight in her palm. “I was doing a good job too since none of you knew my name.” Zack blushed in shame which gave the petty, hurt part of her satisfaction. Which meant she wouldn’t mention it to Zack in a snarky manner again. “Then Billy had to go and blow up the damned mine and well, now we’re super-powered teenagers who have to go back to school tomorrow.” 

Looking at her friend, she could see him watching her closely, trying to read her since she kept her face so neutral most of the time. For a moment, she wondered if Kim had trouble reading her expressions too. 

_ Might have to work on that Resting Trini Face. _

“I hate to say it but dude, suck it up. We don’t have any other choice cuz if we don’t act normal, someone will figure it out,” she pointed out. It wasn’t that she was trying to be mean but she honestly didn’t see what else they could do. “I mean, what else are we supposed to do?”

Neither could Zack. “Yeah,” he agreed, “I know.”

“It’s not like you showed up a lot to start with,” Trini smirked. “Why make the effort now?”

“Mama got a notice about my absences,” Zack said forlornly. “I missed the mail and she got it first so I couldn’t get rid of it before she saw it. I hate that look she gets when she’s disappointed in me.”

Trini winced. “Ouch man, your Mom’s the best. That musta sucked. Sorry.”

“Yeah. She made me promise to graduate. It’s like, all she wants now, to be around to see me graduate. If I don’t, it’ll break her heart.” He made no mention of his fear that his frail mother might not live long enough to see him accept his diploma. Thankfully, she was doing better lately but he’d been tricked into thinking she was getting better in the past and didn’t dare get his hopes up much anymore. 

Giving Trini a serious look she was unfamiliar with, Zack told her, “Trini, I can not mess this up but I’ve got this year and next year to get through and I dunno if I can.”

“I thought you were supposed to be a Senior.”

“Yeah but I failed more than one class last year that I have to retake this year. There’s not enough room in my schedule for all the credits I need to graduate to take them all this year.”

“Ew, so like, you’re held back? Dude, now _ that _ sucks ass.”

“Yeah, but I did that to myself,” Zack grumbled. “That’s why I wasn’t bothering to go before now. But whatever. Now I have to go and it’s stressing me out before it even really starts.”

“You’re not stupid so why don’t you think you can do it?” 

The tall Asian bit his lip for a moment. “I can’t, like, focus.” Trini arched an eyebrow in question. “It’s not something like ADHD or whatever but it’s hard for me to sit still in a class for 44 minutes or stick to the schedule all day. And I can’t remember to do homework because I don’t see the point behind it. And that was before all this,” he gestured towards the Power Rangers mural. Then he paused for a long moment.

Trini knew there was more and just patiently waited. 

“And sometimes…” he sighed, defeated. “Don’t tell anyone, please, but sometimes I fall behind. I don’t… I don’t read as fast as everyone else.” Trini opened her mouth to say something but he cut her off. “I can read!” he insisted. “I love to read all sorts of stuff. One of my favorite books is _ Frankenstein. _I have a really old copy in Chinese that belonged to Mama when she was young. I really enjoy Mama’s mystery novels, too. It just… takes me longer.”

“I believe you,” Trini reassured him. “Besides, I’ve been in your house, there are books everywhere.” Her soft smile put him at ease. “And I won’t say a word, you know that. Are you dyslexic?”

“No,” he shook his head, “it’s just harder for me to process what I’m seeing. It’s a little better now, as a Ranger but not much.”

“Maybe enough to help?”

“Maybe. I dunno.”

“You know the rest of us will though, right? You just have to let us know,” Trini reminded him. 

“Yeah?” Zack asked hopefully.

Trini rolled her eyes but kept her face open and not in a typical ‘annoyed’ expression. “Duh, dude, we’re your friends. If we’re willing to die beside you, I think we’re willing to help with homework. Just ask.”

“Sweet,” Zack quietly cheered, clearly relieved.

“History is my strongest class, Billy is probably math and science…”

“I’m decent in Math but not like, stereotypical Asian kid in math class smart at it. I can get through that and most sciences too. Kim is in the AP super-nerd college prep English class,” Zack said distastefully. 

“Not surprised.” Completely not. “I think Billy is too.”

“Not surprised,” Zack echoed. “I can ask either of them for help if I need it. Ok, cool. I can’t really pay for tutoring or anything though.” 

Trini leveled him with a look. “Seriously? We’re not like that and besides we’ll figure something out if it comes to it but it probably won’t.”

“I can help watch your brothers sometime!” Zack suggested excitedly.

“I’m not sure I wanna subject them to your raggedy ass but we’ll see,” she said dryly. Zack grinned and then to her horror, sat up and pulled her into a hug. “Ah! You’re touching me!”

“Let’s hug it out,” Zack cooed.

“There’s nothing to hug out!”

“Shhh, we’re having a moment.”

“Ew, get your moment offa me.”

“It’s ok, Trini, this is what’s called ‘affection’ and it’s used to express fondness and in some cases, love for other people. It won’t hurt you.” Zack spoke slowly and calmly as if speaking to a frightened child. Trini wasn’t (very) amused.

“In your opinion,” she protested stiffly. “Get your boy-germs away from me. Boo, hiss, leggo.” She hissed at him in a fairly impressive impression of a pissed-off cat.

“Aww cute kitty-witty. Betchu wouldn’t mind if I was Kiii…” he started.

She gave him a hard shove away. “Stop right there,” she warned him. “Dude, I nearly neutered you 2 days ago for teasing that way. Now, you’re a male intruder in my room. How you think that’s gonna work out for you?”

“Shit,” Zack winced contritely, “I’m only teasing and…”

“Yeah, I know but I don’t like it. Zack, you don’t know what it’s like. It’s hard enough being friends with a girl, God- especially one like Kim, without you basically pointing out my epic gayness every time you get a chance. I just wanna be her friend so knock it off.”

“Oh, I didn’t see it that way.”

“Of course not but, it feels like I gotta watch every single interaction I have with a girl so no one thinks I’m being pervy or coming onto them. I mean, I literally never am cuz I got other shit to do but it makes me paranoid and you’re making it harder. Look at people like Harper; she’s in my PE class and I have to make extra sure to never be facing her at any time in the locker room. I keep my eyes down because I know she’ll take any chance to tell people I didn’t.” 

Zack looked horrified. “Dude, I never even considered…”

“One false accusation from Harper could hurt me almost as badly as it could someone like you or Jason. Maybe not as severe, yeah, but my Mom would send me off somewhere and that accusation will follow me like that pic will Amanda. Harper would never admit she lied and I’d never have the money to fight her in court about it. I’d be screwed completely.”

“Damn,” Zack breathed, “I thought it was just us guys that had to watch out for that.”

“It mostly is and like I said, part of it is I’m paranoid about it. I just don’t trust people not to start shit,” Trini complained. “Especially ones like Harper. But do you get it?” Zack nodded. “And it’s even worse with us because it’s Kim. _ Our _ friend. Like, I know she’s hot; I got eyes. But that’s not what we’re about, so. Come on, man,” she smacked him in the back of the head lightly, “think!”

It wasn’t that ‘something more’ with Kim was something she was against, it was actually the opposite if she was honest with herself. She really liked the other girl but she barely knew much about Kim despite the time they were spending together. It was easy to learn facts about her, if Kim volunteered them which didn’t happen too frequently, but the more personal, emotional side of her was still a mystery to Trini as that side of Trini was to Kim. It was way too early to think of dating even if it’s what her hormones and growing feelings wanted. 

_I am not going to fall into the stereotypical, ‘ lesbian can’t have a female friend without immediately wanted to fuck her’ bullshit _, she vowed.

“Just… let Kim and I be friends, ok? 

Rubbing the spot where she hit, Zack smiled ruefully. “My bad, T. I’ll be better. You know I’ve got your back. Harper ever tries to pull that kinda shit, or anyone else, I’ll be right here to defend you.”

“Thanks. It’s getting late though so if you don’t mind, get lost.”

“You have terrible manners, young lady,” Zack playfully scolded in an old man’s voice.

Unbothered, Trini shrugged. “Possibly but it’s not gonna be any easier to get there on time if you don’t get any sleep. And my parents go to bed soon; Mom will check in here first and the chair in front of the door only slows her down.”

Zack looked over at the door and saw how Trini had propped a chair in front of the door. It could do nothing more to stop the door from opening than startle whoever slammed it into the chair. 

He gave her a look.

“What? They took the lock off when we moved in, so there’s not much else I can do. The chair pisses her off but it’s all the warning I get.”

“Ghetto.” Two middle fingers greeted his comment. His look turned from teasing to soft. “If you ever need to get out of here, there’s room at mine.”

“No, there’s not,” Trini said playfully, hiding how much that offer meant to her especially given exactly how much Zack and his mother didn’t have to share. “I appreciate it, dude. Really. But I got it under control here. I mean it, time to go.” 

Zack got up off the bed and headed for the window. “Just making sure you know. Thanks for listening to me rant, T. It means a lot.”

“That’s what this whole team thing’s supposed to be about, right?”

Once Zack was safely up and out the window again, Trini shut it with a frown. It was late but she wasn’t tired. Looking down, she noticed that Zack had left a huge footprint on the tape that covered the picture of her and Jessica. Sighing heavily, she sat down, opened her middle right desk drawer and took out a roll of tape. She began to patiently peel off the top layer of dull and dirty tape, the first of many layers she’d mounted the photo down to the surface with so that she could replace it with fresh, clear tape. Jessica deserved that much respect at least. 

Later, after new tape had been applied and her mother had already yelled at her for putting the chair in front of her door, Trini wasn’t able to sleep. She was tired but being hounded by the repeating question in her mind: “Why did I retape the picture?” The two hadn’t spoken in two years and it was likedly that Jessie had long forgotten her so why couldn’t Trini let go too?

Annoyed, she picked up her phone to text Kim. When she got her messenger open and scrolled to open her texts with the former cheerleader she noticed someone had taken the liberty of changing some of the names in her contact list. She shot out a message to the older girl.

**POKEMON SUN**

When & y did u change my name to this?

After a minute or two, Kim answered.

** POKEMON MOON**

@ breakfast

U went 4 napkins & left ur phone

I wanted to :)

**POKEMON SUN**

Why? Do u even like Pokemon?

** POKEMON MOON**

Do you even lift bro?

Trini could actually hear her friend’s voice and imagine the facial expression she’d use. It made her smile. Still, she had no response.

**POKEMON SUN**

… 

** POKEMON MOON**

No but it made me happy 

& made me laugh 

Ur like a Pokemon

“Wait, what?” Trini sputtered. All she could picture were the big eyed anime creatures. “I’m vaguely insulted.”

**POKEMON SUN**

Excuse me?

** POKEMON MOON**

Ur a sunshine Pokemon

Cute but deadly

Trini was torn between delight at being called cute and pride at being called deadly, however in jest it was. Typically, being called cute grated on her nerves. Teddy bears were cute, she was badass… and a bit more than cute in her opinion. But her crush calling her cute was different and as much as she tried to tell herself not to get her hopes up, that Kim probably meant it at face value and not anything more but it was difficult not to feel something in her chest flutter when she reread the text.

**POKEMON SUN**

Are you high?

** POKEMON MOON**

Sadly, no

**POKEMON SUN**

You’re loopy

** POKEMON MOON**

Much more accurate. Lol 

A familiar feeling crept into Trini’s chest and she heard Kim’s voice in her head telling her that she worried too much. The Ranger link was calm and Kim’s end wasn’t dull, just tired. To be on the safe side and because she knew she wouldn’t sleep well if she didn’t, Trini asked anyway.

**POKEMON SUN**

Are you ok?

** POKEMON MOON**

Yeah, ofc. 

Just tired & silly

Change it back if you want

Nbd

**POKEMON SUN**

Tired? You sleeping ok?

** POKEMON MOON**

Trin, you texted me

It’s 1:06AM

Trini blinked and looked at the time on her phone. _ Oh shit! I didn’t even...I totally woke her up. God damn it. _

**POKEMON SUN**

Shit, did I wake you?

** POKEMON MOON**

Not really 

Trini rolled her eyes. _ Liar. That’s why her aura is so tired. I’m such an idiot. _

**POKEMON SUN**

Liar 

** POKEMON MOON**

Kinda

Maybe

It’s ok though.

I’m always up to talk to you.

It was Kim’s way of trying to make her feel better but it just made Trini feel like an even bigger asshole for waking her up. Despite that, the flutter in her chest increased at the last line Kim sent. 

_ Stop feeding my crush, Kim! Gaah! _

**POKEMON SUN**

I am so sorry!

I didn’t even look at the time before I texted.

I’m sorry, go back 2 sleep

** POKEMON MOON**

Lol I’m awake now, Trin

Why’d you text?

What’s up?

**POKEMON SUN**

It’s not important

Go to sleep

** POKEMON MOON**

Plenty time 2 sleep when I’m dead

Trini physically winced. _ Ugg, don’t say that shit. It creeps me out. _

As if Kim could hear her, another message immediately pinged through.

** POKEMON MOON**

Or u know, tomorrow

What’s up?

**POKEMON SUN**

Rly nothing 

Thinking about school & stuff

Weird to go back

** POKEMON MOON**

Yeah but gotta

Suuuuucks 

Want breakfast?

**POKEMON SUN**

Mom’s taking me in

** POKEMON MOON**

I know. I’ll bring you some b4 class.

Donuts and hot chocolate?

That sounded good to Trini but she hated it when Kim spent money on her. _ I’ve got a few bucks to pay her back and I really want donuts. _

**POKEMON SUN**

Mint hot chocolate?

** POKEMON MOON**

Duh 

w devil’s food cake donuts

**POKEMON SUN**

Sweet. Sure, I’ll pay you back

** POKEMON MOON**

Ok cool

**POKEMON SUN**

Ok, sorry for waking you

I’m going to sleep

Good night

** POKEMON MOON**

Don’t worry about it

You worry too much ;-)

Sleep well, call if you need me

See you soon. Night <3

Not quite at the point where she could send a ‘heart’ emoji back, Trini stared at the screen for a minute. 

_ I worry so much because you don’t seem to worry about yourself at all _ , she silently answered her friend. _ Even you need sleep. _ Kim’s ‘if you need me’ offer of help didn’t escape her either. 

_ Do you always put yourself out there for people like this? It would explain why you always end up hurt. _

**POKEMON SUN**

You too :)

Night

** POKEMON MOON**

:) night

Once she had her phone plugged back in to charge, Trini settled down under her covers again. It was incredibly bizarre as Zack pointed out to know she was going back to school not only as a super-powered person but, if she let herself think about it, one of the five people who saved not just Angel Grove, but the whole planet. 

A hard shiver rocked through her.

“Nope, not gonna think about it that way,” she said out loud. That way of thinking made the whole thing seem too big, too overwhelming.

With a heavy sigh, she rolled on her side and closed her eyes, hoping to sleep with as little nightmares as possible until morning.

  
  
  



	4. Welcome Back to School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Rangers return to school and back to the status quo they left behind while they were training. No longer distracted by the impending fight with Rita, Trini gets a closer look at what it's like for Kim to walk the halls of the school she once ruled.  
The 5 discuss Halloween and then Kim has a run-in with her past.
> 
> TAGS: Adult language, bullying, high school bulls#it, angst, hurt/comfort, abuse, emotional hurt/comfort, homophobia, sex discussion (past tense), racism, use of slurs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> You guys are the best and keep me going! Thanks so much for the views, kudos, and comments. They mean so much.  
I did some research and tried to do my best with some of the historical elements in this chapter. It's nothing heavy and just mentioned in passing but I feel that the ethnicities of our girls are important to remember and honor. If I'm wrong or off, let me know and we can work together to fix it (if you're interested, of course).

All the Rangers including a pouting Zack returned to school the next day. The repairs to the school were still underway but a temporary roof had been installed so the school board had decided to get the students back into a normal routine as quickly as possible. Most of the students filling the halls were still talking about the appearance of the strange rock creatures, the witch woman in green, her giant gold monster, and the heroic Power Rangers. Rumors of who was inside the colorful suits of armor abounded with some students suspiciously eyeing others who leaned into the looks.

On the other side of things, it was strange for the five actual Power Rangers to listen to it all while attempting to blend in with their peers. They had to pretend to be just as amazed as everyone else with what happened and had to ignore the negative comments about the Rangers that they were surprised to hear. Some people thought that they brought Rita and Goldar to town, not that they were defending the city. Others had lost their homes to damage, their places of employment or their parents’ jobs were destroyed so there was no money coming in or worst yet, some were hurt. The Rangers were the easiest to blame for those things. Not being able to explain or defend their motives was going to be difficult for all of them. 

The hallways were packed with students, more so than usual due to the added 8th-grade students from the nearby middle school having their classes moved to the high school because of damage to their school building. The entire district was scrambling to cover for all the damage done to the different schools. There wasn’t enough money in the budget to cover all the repairs so the schools were being forced to double up. 

The battle had exposed a hole in the city’s preparedness, although no city could be prepared for an alien attack, the lack of funds for natural disasters or things of a catastrophic matter was a shock. Now, people in town wanted to know where the money they did have had gone. Angel Grove wasn’t a rich tourist seaside town that could just ask its residents for help; it was a small to a midsize city that relied mostly on its fishing industry. Money was tight at times for most and many didn’t know where the money to recover was going to come from.

Oblivious to the town’s money issues, Trini absently brushed the last of her donut crumbs off her plaid overshirt while she tried to make her way down the crowded hall with Kim.

“My AP English teacher, you know, Hardass Hargrove, wanted us to email him progress reports on our reading every day…”

Kim’s words were cut off as she was slammed into a locker, shoulder first, denting it slightly as someone hissed ‘whore’ at her. Trini had been shoved back first into the lockers on the other side of the hallway by the same group of football players. Wincing as a lock dug into her flank, she shoved back blindly and darted back to Kim as quick as she could. 

To her surprise, the older teen simply righted herself, brushed at her shoulder, and kept walking. Kim then picked up the conversation thread from where she’d been interrupted as if nothing happened. 

“...which I just found stupid because what does he expect us to say…”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Trini stopped her, both physically and verbally. She looked down the hall to see who had assaulted Kim but the crowd of students was too thick to pick out the culprit from the group of laughing football players who were shoving some lost 8th graders as they rounded the corner. 

Looking around, Trini pulled Kim to the tiny alcove under the nearby stairs. It was so small, Kim had to slouch to fit. “What the fuck was that?” Taking a moment, she fussed over Kim’s shoulder while trying to contain her anger.

Kim looked at her in confusion for a moment. “Oh, that? Typical morning since the Amanda thing. Except denting the locker, that was new. I hope no one noticed; they’re liable to start charging my parents for property damage. They’d love that.” She rolled her eyes at the thought. “Probably ship me back to boarding school or to a military school. Ug. Might rock the uniform though.” 

Trini ignored the thought of Kim being sent away. “This has been happening for that long? Why haven’t you told anyone?” Deciding the offended limb was uninjured, she stepped away and a little out from the alcove. She didn’t want someone to think they were up to something intimate and then have them add ‘dyke’ to the things they called Kim; that was her problem to deal with- Kim apparently had enough of her own.

Kim frowned at her. “Do the crime, do the time, T. It’s not like I’m innocent here; I brought this shit on myself. I’m apparently on a long-term payment plan with the whole ‘learning my lesson’ thing, though.”

“Physical abuse isn’t a lesson, it’s assault.”

Kim rolled her eyes, growing annoyed. “Melodramatic much? Besides, it’s not like they can actually hurt me now.” The comment only made the angry look on Trini’s face darker. 

“That means they hurt you in the past,” she muttered, planning painful retribution for them all. _ That’s why she flinches! I’m gonna fucking kill me some bitches! _

“Meh,” Kim shrugged, “a few scrapes and bruises aren’t as bad as a nude photo scandal. Bruises fade, the Internet is forever.”

Blood ran hot and angry in Trini’s veins and she knew it was making her face flush but she couldn’t help it. “No matter what you’ve done, it doesn’t give anyone the right to touch you or to physically harm you!” she insisted, wishing she could make Kim understand this very simple fact. “Ever!”

As bad as what she did to Amanda was, Kim’s indifferent, almost welcoming attitude towards the abuse she was getting in return for it was wrong and indicated a deeper problem in Trini’s opinion.

_ Can it count as self-harm if you welcome abuse you know is coming because you think you deserve it? _

It was a disturbing thought that she didn’t have an answer to. 

“You’re adorably high strung sometimes,” Kim sighed tiredly, “but it’s not a big deal.” It was clear she wasn’t in the mood to get into a deep discussion about the situation.

“It actually is,” Trini countered bitterly. “Why didn’t I see this shit before?”

“We weren’t friends before. We were what, two and a half weeks into school when all the Rita shit started? And you saw what they did to my locker. Hate to break it to ya, but none of this is new. Just new to you.”

Trini grumbled something under her breath that Kim didn’t hear.

“It’s been over a week since they’ve had a chance to take a shot at me in person and not over text, too,” the former cheerleader added. “Welcome to October, I guess. If I’d been paying attention, I don’t think he’d have knocked me over. I’m a bit too solid now.” She smiled and winked at Trini, trying to lighten the Latina’s darkened mood but it didn’t work. 

Trini’s eyes were locked on where the football team had disappeared around the corner as if she could still see them and was planning her revenge, which Kim figured she probably was. 

“Don’t. Don’t make a big deal of it and get yourself into trouble,” she warned, putting a harder edge to her voice. The tone drew hazel eyes to her own. “Yeah, you’re thinking loud enough for me to hear- let it go and let’s get to class.”

“Let it go?” Trini echoed, incredulous.

“Yes. Don’t make me sing it.” Trini opened her mouth to object. “I know all the words and I swear I’ll do it at full volume, right here in the hall.”

“Kim…” Trini growled, exasperated.

“Trini…” Kim parrotted back.

“Ug, why are you like this?” Kim blinked at her. “So fucking stubborn?”

“Are you the pot or the kettle here? Because it takes a stubborn ass to know one,” the brunette shot back, her own patience running thin. “I don’t need a bodyguard so back off.”

They stared each other down for a few seconds with Trini cursing the height difference. 

“I’m serious,” Kim continued slowly, “you’re being pushy and I don’t like it.”

Stewing a bit with her hands opening and closing on nothing, Trini huffed and shoved them into her pockets. “I don’t like people hurting you.” Her cheeks flushed as she looked away. It was an emotionally honest statement that left her feeling exposed, a feeling she hated. “It’s not right.”

“No, I guess it’s not,” Kim agreed begrudgingly. The halls were nearly empty so she reached out and pushed some hair behind Trini’s ear. She didn’t want anyone to see how close they were getting and use that against her or Trini. The last thing Kim wanted was for her friend to get dragged any further into her mess; Trini didn’t need the added hassle in her life. “But I’m serious; stop putting yourself up to be my savior or something.”

“I’m not…”

“I don’t need saving,” Kim cut her off. “Just be my friend.” Biting her tongue, Trini nodded. Kim’s expression softened. “I mean, thanks for looking out for me, but I swear it’s better than it was. That was a fluke.” The smaller teen snorted in derision. “Hey, it was. And I made this mess but I’ve got it under control. C’mon, we’re gonna be late.”

Trini sighed and nodded again. Nothing about it seemed under control but being late for bio meant extra homework. 

“Fiiine,” she groaned, dragging her feet. “But if we’re dissecting the cow eyeball this week, you’re taking the lead. Cuz that shit’s gross af.”

Kim laughed. “What’s the matter? Is badass Trini Gomez squeamish?”

“It’s an eyeball! How are you not?” 

*

At lunch, the five Rangers sat at a table in the cafeteria, unable to go outside due to a rousing thunderstorm that was shaking the rafters of the temporary roof. There were buckets scattered here and there, where leaks had appeared in the roof and the janitors were constantly emptying out full ones. 

“I hope that’s not you-know-who knocking,” Zack grumbled around a slice of pizza. “I’m really hungry.”

“I’m sure Alpha would let us know,” Billy said, wiggling his arm with the shiny new communicator watch on it. They all had one in a style that they wanted so that they matched the way they dressed. They were sleek and beautifully made but wouldn’t draw attention. “There’s a tropical depression going by.”

Kim stabbed at her lunch. “At least a tropical one passes by,” she muttered lowly. So lowly Trini missed it. 

“Excuse me?” a small voice wavered, asking for attention. The five teens looked over to about six tiny 8th graders each holding their lunches. They looked terrified. 

“Yeah?” Jason asked in a friendly tone. 

“Uhm, we… sorry to bother you but…” one started but trailed off, afraid.

“No one will let us sit down anywhere but there’s room here and…” the next added.

“Everyone else already seems to dislike you…”

“So we were hoping…”

The five friends all scooted over to make room for the frightened 8th graders who collectively breathed a sigh of relief and sat down. A few minutes later, the table was crammed with more but the Rangers didn’t really mind. 

“Thank you!” most of them said at one point or another. Their lunchtime was shorter than the high schoolers so they were shoveling in their food as they talked. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Zack waved them off. “Just come sit with us if you see us. No one will bug you.” 

The 8th graders looked at them like they were gods. 

Trini rolled her eyes, more for show than any real annoyance. “My brothers fought over what Rangers they were going to be for Halloween,” she told her friends. The 8th graders ignored them, too involved in themselves and their lunches to care.

“Wait, that’s a thing?” Zack asked. “Where’s our… the Ranger’s cut of that?” He shot a side glance at the younger kids at the table but not a single one was looking in their direction.

“Yeah, it’s a thing,” Jason confirmed. “I saw some really cheap costumes at the pharmacy yesterday. Someone's getting thirty bucks a pop for them too. With a little helmet and everything."

Zack let out a low whistle. “Shit, that was fast.”

“There’s always a race to be first with that sort of thing,” Kim said blandly. “Won’t be long before someone tries to trademark everything Ranger related. Lunchboxes, costumes, comics, figures…”

“Again, how do the Rangers get their money from that cuz isn’t that stealing an image?” Zack asked again. 

Kim rolled her eyes. “Dream on. I’d like to see a Ranger try to claim his rights to his image,” she scoffed, clearly meaning the Black Ranger himself. Zack stuck his tongue out at her.

“Who did your brothers choose?” Billy wondered excitedly, bringing the conversation back to where it started.

“Now that everyone knows which are male and female, Blue and Black.”

“Poor Red,” Kim laughed slightly, winking at Jason who gave a good-natured pout.

“And he’s got a t-rex too,” Jason muttered. He shot a look at a happy Billy and a smug Zack. “Rigged.” The smirk on his face made his dimples pop out.

“Get this, even though she’s a girl, Diego still likes Yellow. But, you know my Mom and the whole gender roles and shit,” Trini complained with an eye-roll. 

“Aw, I bet that would thrill the Yellow Ranger,” Kim smiled.

Trini grinned. It was a facial expression the three boys were unfamiliar with but all wanted to see more of. 

“Yeah, I bet it would. Yeyo likes that she’s ‘littler and drives a cat’. He thinks that makes her sneaky.”

“Maybe it does,” Kim teased. Trini’s eyes narrowed. “What about Mateo?” 

“He loves that Pink can fly. He wants her Zord but in his second favorite color, blue.”

“Flying _ is _ really awesome. And there’s nothing wrong with the color pink.” Kim frowned. “Why blue, his second favorite?”

“Pink is his third favorite color, apparently. It goes: green, blue, and pink but we don’t… When we were painting my wall he said there isn’t a good Green Ranger, she was bad. So he liked Blue next…” 

“Ah, I see.”

“I bet half the kids in town are going as Rangers,” Jason pointed out. 

“Even Pearl?” Kim wondered.

“She’s had her heart set on Rey from Star Wars but you never know. She’d probably go with Pink, though. It’s _ her _ favorite color,” Jason smiled. 

“We should keep a tally of how many of which color Rangers we see!” Billy suggested.

"Loser buys dinner," Zack suggested.

"That'll probably be Black. Think he can afford it?" Jason taunted playfully.

Sending the blonde boy a dark look, Zack smirked. "Hey, by my count Red is still at zero so, we'll see, Chief."

"Don't call me that."

“I wonder what idiot bitch is gonna dress as Rita,” Trini said darkly.

“Three guesses,” Zack answered sarcastically. 

“Or Goldar,” Kim added, sending a look at Amanda, Harper, and Ty across the room. Trini followed her sightline and scowled. 

“I swear I’ll knock them all into orbit with her if they do,” she growled. 

“I’d pay to see it,” Kim snickered.

The bell ending the 8th grader's lunch rang, sending them scattering with more calls of ‘thanks’ as they left. Jason, Billy, and Zack also left. Jason was still working for the football coach just in a different capacity and left to help get things ready for an away game the team had the next afternoon. Zack wanted a coffee but couldn't get that on-campus and Billy wanted to go work on installing some new software on the school's computers. That left the two girls at the table.

“How about next month? Any plans for Thanksgiving, Princesa?”

“Nah,” Kim waved a fry around. “Being part Indian, I’m a little sensitive to the whole ‘colonialism, take your land-take your food and slaughter you’- vibe.”

“Wait, England colonized India and abused it’s people for centuries, right?” 

Kim nodded with a sour expression. “Some of my family were among the ones the British sent to Africa to work on the railroad in like, the 1920s. They stayed and ran successful businesses for like, decades until the Ugandan government got a bug up its ass and violently purged most of the Indian and South Asian population in the early ’70s. My great-grandfather refused to go to England so the whole family ended up coming back to India. He’s as old as dirt but he can still hold a hell of a grudge and he still bitches about it. Still.”

“Wow. And I thought my mother was bad,” Trini whistled. “I know that was a long time ago but growing up in London hadta be weird.”

Kim dipped her fry in mayo and popped it in her mouth. “Meh. Not to me, really. I’m so far removed from it that other than hearing him bitch about it the rare times I met him and a few incidents with teasing at school, it wasn’t an issue. My parents are too well known there. Yeah, I had girls whose families still carried that anti-Indian hatred over to me but it probably wasn’t any different than say, your childhood as a second-generation Mexican.”

“I moved around a lot and you’ve seen how well I get along with people,” Trini scoffed. “Not a good comparison.”

“True,” Kim chuckled. “But great-granddad was, is? More of a problem than London ever was. He’s never set foot in England and hated, I mean hated that his son sent his kids to school there. So, he hates me even more for being raised there and even worse to him, being part white. Ha, hi Dad! Thanks for being blonde and almost albino,” she laughed. “Grandpa’s better if I speak without my accent, though. But my Gujarati has to be perfect around him and yeah, it’s not since I so rarely speak it.”

“That’s rough. Ok, I can see why you’d skip it. I put up with the family garbage and everything because I like the endless food.” Trini bit the next fry in half before Kim could get it to her mouth.

“Thief!” the taller girl laughed. “The food is only positive.”

“You and food,” Trini shook her head fondly. 

“I like to eat,” Kim pouted. “Now I can without being called a porker.” She shot another glare in her old friend’s direction. “Plus, we don’t gain weight as fast, or at all. We might die in battle but at least we won’t die with muffin tops!”

“Some silver lining,” Trini said dryly. She hated when Kim threw around comments about dying like it wasn’t a real possibility and like she didn’t care but now wasn’t the time to get into it. Plus, maybe it was just Kim’s sense of humor, Trini wasn’t sure. But something about it didn’t sit right.

“Gotta find them where you can,” Kim chirped. “What’s your family doing?”

“A few things. It’s a little different at my house.”

“Yeah? How so?” 

“Thanksgiving is a little after a holiday in Mexico called Revolution Day. My Mom’s parents were from a little town who went all out for it; parades, parties, you name it. Depending on where we’re living sometimes they come visit to celebrate it. Every year, Mama cooks a ton of both American and traditional Mexican foods, like enough to feed three families.”

“You celebrate both holidays? That’s cool. I mean, just for the array of food,” Kim winked. 

Trini gave her a playful shove. “Bottomless pit, I swear. Yeah, Dad’s family is more Americanized and celebrates Thanksgiving.”

“Cool. Anyone visiting this year?”

“We’ve got a few coming in but not my Mom’s parents. They’re angry we had to move,” Trini shrugged. “And whoever’s coming will bring more food.” Kim’s eyes got bigger and it made Trini giggle softly. “It’s amazing. Oh my God. I eat so much all I want to do is sleep afterward. Hey, I’ll bring you some leftovers later on in the day.”

Kim was almost drooling despite having just eaten.“Ooooh, I can get all the food without the hassle of the holiday? Awesome! You’re the best, Trin.”

“Someone has to feed you something other than take-out or donuts. Or french fries.”

“So you’ve said,” Kim smirked. “And you enjoyed those donuts this morning.”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Are your grandparents coming for Christmas?” 

“Yeah. That’ll be fun since so are my Dad’s parents. They get along and everything it’s just that many people in the house is going to be a bit much. And the way my Mom stresses over how I look and act and it’s just...ug, stress for me I don’t need.” 

“I can see that,” Kim agreed. The bell rang indicating the end of lunch, which made her groan. “I don’t want to go to PE. Who puts PE after lunch? I’ll vomit if I have to run laps.”

“Says the girl with superpowers,” Trini scoffed in a whisper as students started to leave the cafeteria in a chaotic and haphazard fashion. 

Just as Kim went to stand, a hand on her shoulder tried to push her back down but instead just ended up with her half-up and half-down as she refused to sit but didn’t want to give away any hint of her strength by pushing through it. 

She knew who it was by the cloud of Axe Bodyspray that arrived a moment earlier. She sniffed the air. _ New scent? Finally. It doesn’t smell like a metrosexual car freshener. _

“Hey, Kimmy,” Ty oozed, “I see Jason and his two losers left you behind already. Not that I’m surprised. So, how are you and your little pet pussy-licker today?” Amanda and Harper stood to help box the two Rangers against the table. 

Trini balled her hands into fists and glared at the taller teens, ready to rip them all apart if need be. Feeling bold, she stuck out and wiggled her tongue in an obscene manner, almost laughing at the shocked and disgusted looks on the cheerleader’s faces. It was hilarious and kept them distracted from Kim. Harper even looked a little green.

Slowly, Kim turned her head to look at the hand still on her shoulder and then, just as slowly she turned to look at Ty with one eyebrow raised in question. It clearly said ‘move it or lose it’ but he didn’t back down. They stared at one another for a few tense moments before Trini interfered by grabbing his wrist and forcing him off her friend by squeezing right where his hand met his wrist bones.

“Ow, Jesus!” Ty yelped, wringing out his arm when the tiny teen let go with an evil smirk. “How the hell did you squeeze so hard?” he spat at her, angry. “I need my arm to play ball, asshole.”

“Pressure points,” Trini responded easily. “Next time you touch her or anyone without permission, I’ll rip it off completely and feed it to you.” She had seen how he was slowly squeezing Kim’s shoulder and twisting his fingers in. It made her see red, knowing how much it would have been hurting her friend if not for her new Ranger durability.

_ Has he done that before? I’ll break those fingers if he has. How much have you been putting up with, Kim? Why don’t you fucking react? _

Able to stand completely to face her former friends, Kim did nothing to deter Trini and her threats. “What do you want?” she asked impatiently. 

“Saw you take a header into the lockers this morning; you should be more careful,” Amanda teased mockingly. “Day drinking again? Tsk tsk, Kimmy. I thought you gave that up.”

Kim rolled her eyes and ground her teeth together. _ I haven’t felt like day drinking since I stopped hanging out with you three. What a coincidence! _She said nothing, not wanting to give Amanda the satisfaction of a quick, impulsive, ‘mean-girl’ answer that hit below the belt. She’d already hurt Amanda enough, the least she could do was take a little verbal abuse silently.

Plus, Kim was determined to show Trini and prove to herself that she was better than that person, that she was at least _ trying _ to be. That she could eventually be a better person. The first step might be right here.

“Kimmy loves her tequila, doesn’t she?” Harper laughed snobbily. “Gone to any classes drunk lately? Oh, look at your eyes, Gomez! Did you not know Kimmy’s got a taste for alcohol? Ooo, caught you in another lie, bitch.”

“Nah, I knew,” Trini fibbed. It wasn’t news she liked to hear since it made some of her mental red flags regarding Kim’s behavior flare brighter but Kim had been right earlier, she was being pushy and possibly looking for zebras among horses. Not to mention she didn’t trust anything that came out of Harper’s mouth to begin with. Right now, she trusted Kim to tell her about what the drinking was about when and if she felt she could. And as Kim had asked, she’d be there to listen without judging or trying to ‘save’ her. 

Right now though, she was still pissed about the shove Kim received earlier that morning. It didn’t feel out of line as a friend to get into it about that with the football player.

She got right in Ty’s face the best she could given the height difference. “Was it you or one of the limp-dicked members of your B-team that shoved her, huh?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ty said smugly. “I was late this morning.”

“Yo, I didn’t say _ when _ she was shoved, asshole,” she pointed out with a sneer.

“Whatever,” Ty dismissed her. “She probably just tripped.”

“Bullshit. Some tough guy you are, traveling with a pack of hairy knuckle-dragging foreheads,” Trini hissed. “What’d it take? 8-10 of you to shove me across the hall and her into a locker?” Her tone changed to a biting mockery. “I’m little, dude. Like, mini fun-sized. I need a ladder to get shit off the top of the refrigerator and it took the entire football team to move me?” 

While she hated digs at her size, she wasn’t above taking shots regarding it to make a point or to troll someone larger. “Ooh, lookit the big bad maaan. I’m so scared.” Ty’s smug grin faded into a glare. “Yeah, you’re a pussy, pussy.”

“Shut your mouth, fag,” Ty spat.

“Are you going to make me?” Trini challenged. “How? You don’t have your merry men.”

“I’ll teach you a thing or two about respect…” Ty started.

“What’s the matter? Can’t speak for yourself anymore, Kimmy?” Harper sneered at the same time. “Gotta have your little pussy-slave talk for you?”

“Back off, both of you,” Kim snarled back, “and watch your fucking mouth when you talk to her. You wanna say shit about me, fine, but Trini’s done nothing to you so leave her out of it. Keep her name out of your filthy fucking mouths.”

“Oooo did you hear that? That’s angry Kim,” Harper mocked as she looked at Trini. “She must actually like you, bolleta.” Trini’s eyebrows went up. “Yeah, I speak a little Spanish, puta.”

Trini started ranting at her in Spanish in a long string of foul language that Harper couldn’t follow. 

“Harp, stop trying to make it sound like I was on Intervention; we all drank before we came to school one day and nearly got caught. Don’t act like I was out there all alone or something,” Kim said in a bored tone. “It came from your parent’s basement bar.”

A slow smirk spread across Trini’s face at the disgruntled and irritated look on Harper’s face when her gossip was debunked. 

“Whatever,” Harper said condescendingly. “Fuck you and your jalapeno whore.”

Silently, Kim fumed at the remark but to her surprise, Trini started laughing.

“Bitch, I’m a Carolina Reaper. I’ll burn your fugly face right off.”

“Jalapeno whore, that’s awesome,” Ty snickered, ignoring Trini. “You know, you seem awfully fond of her,” he teased Kim with a nod towards Trini. “Do your parents know how close you’re getting to the help?” 

Kim rolled her eyes. “I’m not going to justify that with an answer, asshole.”

“I’m gonna make _ you _ a pie, fucker,” Trini muttered.

Nodding as if he’d just unraveled a mystery, Ty’s eyes lit up and he gave Kim a mean look. “Wait, is that- is that why you were such a cold dead fish in bed?” He laughed loudly. “I mean, most of the time you just laid there like a fish out of water,” he continued cruelly as he slid his arms around Amanda. “Flip-flop, flip-flop.” He and the two cheerleaders laughed. “Not like Mandy here,” he winked, “She gets me good and hard and I actually enjoy sex with her.”

Kim barely suppressed a wince at the jab. 

“You son of a…” Trini started, feeling the sting his words gave Kim over their link. “Imma gonna end you…”

“And sex with my pinky finger is more satisfying than your ‘one minute if I’m lucky’ stunted needle dick,” Kim struck back in a searing tone that should have burned the hair off Ty’s face with its intensity. 

It took an act of amazing will for Trini not to let out a cheer, whoop, holler, or a ‘BOOM!’ at the burn. 

But Kim wasn’t finished. “Because at least my fingers don’t sputter out and choke the moment they get wet,” she added. 

Trini felt her mouth drop open. 

“Ty Leslie Fleming, I have had sneezes that were more sexually satisfying than you ever were.” She took a deep breath that made her look taller. “Not to mention, I am fucking positive Trini knows that the clit is real and where it is. To top it all off, I would never be ashamed to wake up next to her in the morning. I can’t say the same for you, which I why I never stayed over. I didn’t want to roll over, see you and have to Coyote Ugly off my arm.”

Trini tried to hide the surprise and joy from her face. _ Oh, how I fucking wish I could wake up to you. _ It was followed by- _ Wait, Ty’s middle name is Leslie? _

“Ha, Leslie,” she snickered out loud. 

Ty turned red and he leaned into Kim’s face, standing nose to nose with her, literally. He had to slouch slightly to do so.

“Excuse me, bitch?” he tried to intimidate. The air around them had shifted to something darker, more dangerous. It was starting to make goosebumps rise across Trini’s arms. It felt like the air right before a thunderstorm or a fistfight.

“Did I fucking stutter?” Kim snarled, not at all intimidated. She had her superpowers but more than that, she had her best friend; Trini had her back.

Amanda and Harper joined Ty in getting in Kim’s face and Trini cursed her height, not for the first time. She was basically at boob level and knew biting was out of the question. She didn’t need ‘incidental sexual assault by way of height difference’ put on her permanent record.

“So you _ are _ a dyke now?” Harper hissed, disgusted. 

“Fuck you, I didn’t say that and if I were, what business is it of yours? Do I need your permission?” Kim snarled. 

“That’s disgusting,” Harper fake gagged. “Oh God, I’ve been half-naked around you.” The blonde girl went pale and looked panicked. “Oh God, Kim, were you looking? AT ME?”

“What?” Kim asked incredulously. The question knocked her completely off her groove with Ty and she shook her head. “Are you serious?”

Secretly hurt by her peer’s outright homophobia even if it wasn’t focused directly on her along with being insulted, Trini raged at Harper. “You ignorant bitch!” 

“Harper, I’d never fucking look at you. Ew, oh my God,” Kim said, disgusted. “Just ew.” 

Harper had the gall to look insulted.

“Hey, I was talking to you,” Ty insisted. “What did you fucking say to me?”

“All the things I never had the chance to,” Kim smirked cruelly. “You opened the door dumbass, I just went through it. I’m a dead fish in bed? Fine, your dick is tiny, unsatisfying, and I think it has a nervous twitch.”

"Keep it up with that mouth and I’m not gonna care that you’re a girl,” Ty threatened. “I’m gonna mess you up…”

The teens started to talk over one another.

“Ty, calm down. Kim’s sorry…” Amanda tried as she put her hand on his arm.

Bouncing on her toes, Trini scowled at him. “Touch her and die, pendejo…” she warned. She dropped her bag and wished she could put her hair up.

Next to Trini: “No I’m not,” Kim argued to Amanda. “I meant every word…”

With one hand on her chest like a 1950’s housewife, Harper gasped, “Did you hear that death threat she made?” 

Trini made a face at her. “Oh calm your tits, you drama queen.” Harper stood up straight and stomped her foot with a sour expression.

Angry, Ty gave Kim a not-so-subtle chest bump. “You think you’re some kinda tough guy now that you’re a dyke?”

“I’m not…”

“Whoa!” Trini jumped in and gave the tall, muscular boy a hard shove away from Kim. “No touching, asshole.”

Stumbling back a step, Ty focused his glare on Trini and braced to charge at her. “Oh, that is it. I have had it with you, you little…”

“Is there a problem here, Mr. Fleming?” the Principal asked as he approached. Trini heard Kim groan as the group retreated to their respective sides.

“I was headed to class with Mandy and Harp when this little twerp almost broke my arm!” Ty complained. “And then she threatened my life.”

“You touched Kim first!” Trini argued, incredulous that he’d so blatantly lie. “And wouldn’t let go so I made sure you did. And that wasn’t a threat, you idiot. You understand what talking trash is, don’t you?” _ I meant it but yeah, that sounds like a good excuse… _

“Trin, shhh,” Kim hissed. Her body language had curled into itself, the complete opposite of the bolder girl who had just faced off against Ty. Kim was crumpling completely in front of authority. “S-she’s right, sir. Ty put his hand on my shoulder when I tried to stand and didn’t remove it which made me uncomfortable an…”

Amanda’s mouth dropped open. “You’re not gonna believe her are you?” she screeched. “She’s a known liar! You know what she did to me!”

“After what she did to Amanda, can you believe anything she says?” Harper joined in, her words venomous.

While Kim had no outward reaction to the words, Trini felt through their Ranger link how hard the words hit the older teen. Waves of guilt, self-hatred, and disgust ran through Kim and then over to Trini along with the emotional and mental pain that hurt her to know Kim felt. Somehow, the lithe body turned even further inward, retreating into herself. To see Kim trying to make herself so small made Trini sick.

When the Latina opened her mouth to retort and argue with Harper, Kim shushed her with a glare and a hiss. A wave of desperate futility and Kim begging her to be quiet hit her in the chest. She huffed in frustration but kept her mouth shut.

The Principal seemed to consider the situation for a moment as he looked at Kim, who looked down and shuffled her feet despite being the innocent party. There was no way she could look at the man in the eyes after the way he’d looked at her in the parent-teacher conference; so disappointed and ashamed of her, a promising student who threw away her future in one text message. That day, he had looked at her like she was a waste, useless and as worthless as she felt. She always felt that way and having it reinforced in his expression yet again was more than she wanted to deal with at the moment.

“That remains to be seen,” he said gruffly. Kim’s neck and ears turned red and she nodded at her feet, preparing for punishment while Trini seethed beside her. “But I _ can _ believe my own eyes and Mr. Fleming, we keep our hands to ourselves.” 

“W-what?” Ty stuttered. The bell for the next class rang, meaning all five were late. 

Kim’s head slowly rose and she watched the three pale faces as they stared wide-eyed at the principal who wasn’t buying their lies this time. She exchanged a surprised look with Trini who was clearly enjoying the sudden turn of events if the grin on her face was any indication.

“I saw what happened; I was in the room over there where you didn’t see me and you lied to my face just now,” the principal’s tone was acid. “As Ms. Hart can tell you, I don’t appreciate that. The three of you just earned a month's worth of Saturday detention for it.”

“No!” Harper stomped her foot.

“You can’t!” Amanda whined.

“What about practice?” 

“Yes, I can and I guess you’ll be late, won’t you?”

“My father…” Amanda started.

“Are you trying for two months, Ms. Clarke?” 

“No.” Amanda squeaked and promptly shut up. 

“But…” Harper started and stopped, eyes wet. The time-hardened, veteran educator was not swayed by the tears.

“You bothered your classmates who defended themselves and you’ve made them late for their classes. Trini, Kim, go to class. Tell your teachers you were with me and let me know if there are any issues.” He focused on Kim. “Stay out of trouble.” She nodded and to her surprise, he offered her a small smile that lifted some of the pressing weight from her shoulders.

“You three,” he pointed at huffy and upset Harper, Amanda, and a sullen Ty who was still nursing his wrist, “let’s go talk in my office about personal boundaries and the agreement we all made along with Ms Hart about leaving each other alone. She seems to be the only one who listened.”

As the two Rangers walked away, they heard the beginnings of his next statement: “I heard a rumor that Ms. Hart, as well as some visiting 8th graders were shoved into the lockers this morning. Would you happen to know anything about that?”

Once the two girls were around the corner and out of sight, they ducked to the side.

“That… was… awesome!” Kim declared with a little happy dance in place that Trini had never seen before. But it was cute. “Oh my God, I’ve never seen them lose at something like that. Wow, from this side of things that was sooooo satisfying.”

Unable to help herself, Trini laughed- fully and freely both at the bullies getting caught and at her friend’s joy. It was nice to see and feel that emotion on her friend. It made Kim absolutely radiant. 

“You ok, Hercules?” Kim asked with a grin. Trini gave her a look. “What? You were totally willing to ‘go the distance’ just now.”

“Oh my God, you are such a dork,” Trini groaned and playfully shoved her friend. 

“I know but I wanted to make you laugh again and bring your blood pressure down. You were turning a shade of purple that was new,” Kim explained. “I’ve never seen you so mad.”

The smile on Trini’s face fell a little. “I…he said… and then he touched… I wasn’t trying to save you…”

“I know,” Kim said as she reached out and grasped the smaller girl’s hand tightly. “You had my back so I wasn’t alone. That’s the only reason I could talk back to him and not just stand there and take it like usual. It’s what they expected so they had no idea what hit them just now. Thank you.”

The sides of Trini’s mouth quirked up again. “Yeah? Sweet. You ok?”

“I’m great. I’ve been dying for ages to tell Ty how horrible he was in bed. For Amanda’s sake, at least. In hopes that he would take what I say and improve. Like, read a book or watch a porno. Do something about oversensitivity. So the next girls have a better experience. They shouldn’t all have to suffer.”

“Purely humanitarian reasons, huh?”

“Completely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Meanwhile, I'm going back to plotting how to save for a Switch in between working on chapters. ;-) 
> 
> Have a good weekend!


	5. Balance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TAGS: Mental illness, dark thoughts, parental neglect, depression, self-esteem/body issues, mild suicidal themes
> 
> Kim continues to adjust to the changes in her body and self-image as well as unexpected fallout from her run-in with Ty, Amanda, and Harper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Kim chapter. I hope it's ok.   
Enjoy!

A steady beat thumped from the surround sound system in the dance/gym studio as Kim finished going through her warm-up routine. It was mostly done by rote, her mind far away as her body repeated long-stored muscle memory-based motions to make sure it was prepared for her workout. It had been a while since she’d made proper use of the room; usually, cheerleading practice was enough exercise for her. Once that was taken from her, the only interest she had in expending extra energy was diving at her spot but that was more to seek solitude for as long as possible than anything else. Aside from that, she wasn’t doing much else.  
Now, although she had training with her friends and possessed a body in unnaturally excellent physical condition, she felt awkward in her own skin. She didn’t like how easy it had been for Ty and his buddies to knock her over. It was the first time in her memory that she had felt so out-of-sync with herself in this way. She was always steady, sure-footed, and graceful. Suddenly not being so was making her anxious and when she got too anxious, she made bad decisions.  
It was either the changes to her body or standing up to Ty and the girls that were giving her anxiety attacks after the fact, which she acknowledged was a possibility. She then quickly dismissed the thought because she didn’t want to think about the incident again. It made her heart race and palms sweat. How she had the balls to say the things she had to Ty in front of Amanda and Harper she didn’t know. The back of her mind told her it was Trini, that having her friend there made her more sure, more confident. Another part of herself said she was doing it to impress her friend, to make Trini proud of her and maybe to make the smaller girl worry about her a little less.  
And she told the littlest voice in her head to shut up, she wasn’t trying to look tough in front of a pretty girl. Who was also a badass and sweet as hell. Nope.  
Maybe if she took a minute to defend herself like she felt it mattered, Trini would feel better about everything else. Hopefully, that would bring the Latina’s blood pressure down so when things happened around her that Kim felt she had coming but Trini didn’t like she wouldn’t get so wound up. It was worth a try even if the chances of Trini not getting upset at how Kim was being treated was slim-to-none.  
_ I really shouldn’t get irritated at her for caring even if I think she’s wasting her time. She just gets so upset over nothing, little things. I mean, yeah that shit hurts and all and I fucking hate it but what does she expect? I’m the bad guy here. Bad guys get punished. _  
That was a reason why she rarely fought back, karma. She was getting what she deserved. Then again, that morning Kim was angry and hurt at the things Ty was saying and honestly wanted to hurt him back. Unlike with Amanda who she felt she’d hurt more than enough, she felt she still had good reason to lash out at Ty, so she did. It felt good to get so much of the hurt off her chest.  
And this time, he kept all his teeth.  
Trini seemed to have enjoyed it, too. That was a plus as was not getting into trouble for it. Given how poorly her parents reacted the last time, it was a huge relief and knowing that her former friends got punished gave her quite a bit of satisfaction. Unfortunately, that also meant having to face the three jerks early Saturday mornings for detention.  
“Ew,” she said out loud as she realized she’d be having to spend more time with her bullies, not less. At least Billy and Jason were in detention too so she wasn’t a complete sitting duck.  
Rolling her neck and getting a satisfying crack, she redirected her attention to the matter at hand. Her body felt different and when she stood on a scale, to her short-lived horror she had put on a considerable amount of weight. Yet, she’d never been in better shape. In fact, she was downright ripped and was often distracted by her own abdominal muscles. It was hard not to be since she never planned or even imagined having a six-pack the way she did. It was impressive.  
It turned out that once they’d finally managed to morph the first time, they underwent a final transformation that further ‘buffed’ them out, although not to an unnatural proportion. They didn’t notice until after the battle when they demorphed. The shift was was enough that the numbers on the scale made Kim uneasy. It left her at odds with her body when not armored up and overall uncomfortable.  
The changes were definitely noticeable to her in her muscle mass. When she flexed, the result was impressively solid muscle. But it felt deeper than that; Kim was pretty sure her bones were denser as well. She knew that given how durable she and her friends had become, how much harder it was to bruise and break their skin, it was logical that everything about them was denser. That helped to calm some of her nervousness about the scale reading since it wasn’t coming from fat but it didn’t help her feel any more at home with the new changes.  
So she was here, in the dance studio staring at herself in the mirrors getting ready to go through a light gymnastics routine from when she was younger. The only things that centered her as a child, no matter how upset she became or how horrible she felt were her gymnastics and dancing routines. For the most part, they gave her the only sense of control she had as a child. The things she could do with her body; the flips, turns, pikes, and twists she could contort into or the dance moves she learned were what she could put her mark on, what she could control to a point. Of course, while learning there was a lot of falling but once she learned a move, she cemented it and then practiced to perfect it. To control it.  
Putting herself through the motions meant concentrating on the movement and balance of her body and didn’t allow extra mental running time for ruminating thoughts. At least not for Kim. Warm-ups, practice, and her routines never failed to calm her mind and balance her out. Often, after a good workout, it was easier for her to think through her problems instead of just reacting to them. Maybe the fact that it was something she hadn’t done in a while could explain some of her shitty behavior, she wasn’t sure. But while it had been ages since she’d run herself through her routine, she found herself looking forward to it.  
“Let’s start small,” she told her reflection. “Nothing wild, otherwise you’ll crack your head open and bleed out on the floor.” She rolled her eyes at herself; she was used to having discussions like this since she spent most of her time alone. “And that’ll upset and piss Trini off and I hate that look she gets when she’s upset or worried about me.”  
_Which she’s making a personal Olympic sport out of but, whatever._  
She didn’t want to admit that having someone care so much made her uncomfortable. Somehow she knew that wasn’t the right reaction; problem was, she didn’t know the right one, either.  
“One thing at a time, dumbass,” she told her reflection again. “Try not to break your damn neck first.” Shaking herself out one more time, she nodded. “Let’s do this.”  
Deciding on a middle-school routine so she didn’t stress herself, she started slowly on the mat to build up to anything more. The first time she woke up to what was basically a new body, she broke her phone, ripped a few doorknobs off, and dented or broke pretty much anything she touched. Overall, it took close to two weeks to adjust to the differences in strength and balance. It was only once her armor manifested that she had felt ‘right’ again. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be another two weeks or so before she was resettled yet again.  
It was her hope that by doing this, she’d push herself into adjusting faster. The last time, whenever she wasn’t at school or training she was mostly hanging out at home and sleeping so she didn’t give herself a chance to adjust. Now, her teammates were more active in her life, specifically Trini, so Kim doubted she’d be allowed to sleep so much anymore. At least not without an explanation since as Rangers they didn’t seem to need as much sleep. Kim, however, loved to sleep and did so as often as possible.  
Thankfully, within two hours Kim felt much better and sure-footed. She spun and effortlessly performed a back handspring on the balance beam, standing with a wide grin. Adjusting to the added weight found her on her ass more than a few times after she got on the familiar piece of equipment but that’s what the safety mats were there for. Eventually, she started to stick to it and feel at home like she used to.  
That’s when she really felt how much she missed gymnastics.  
Cursing herself for giving up something she loved so she could concentrate on cheerleading which she secretly didn’t care about, all for the sake of fitting in with people she didn’t like Kim dismounted and landed perfectly.  
“Still got it,” she smirked in the mirror. A pink towel hung nearby which she ran over her face and through her hair before she grabbed a cold water from the mini-fridge. After taking a good long drink, she set both items down, grinned and ran off, doing a no-handed front flip before landing steadily on her feet without a problem.  
“Perfect 10! Hart wins the Gold!” she cheered herself happily. Pretending to be surrounded by an adoring Olympic audience, she waved and bowed in all directions while giggling at herself.  
It had been a long time since she’d let herself be so goofy, even while home alone. It felt good.  
“God, Harper would swallow her tongue if I won a Gold medal,” she snickered. “That girl needs a hobby. Or to get laid, I dunno.”  
It wasn’t like Kim didn’t blame Amanda for being mad at her; she’d done something unforgivable. If Amanda never found a way to forgive her, Kim wouldn’t blame her. After all, Kim wasn’t sure she was going to be able to forgive herself either. No matter which way anyone, even Trini tried to spin what she did by saying she was pushed to lashing out or whatever, Kim couldn’t justify it in her mind anymore. She was the lowest form of life in her own opinion and the treatment she received from Amanda, for the most part, was what she deserved. Less than really, given how badly Kim felt about it.  
Amanda was going to be haunted by that picture possibly for the rest of her life while the bullying Kim was receiving would end eventually. At worse, she had this year and next. Once she graduated it was basically over depending how long anyone, like Harper, decided to hang onto it. Although she might be stuck in Angel Grove, once she wasn’t going to high school anymore, the worst of it would probably be over.  
The whole thing didn’t seem like a fair exchange to her. At all.  
Often, she wondered if letting Amanda run her over would solve everything, especially now that she’d likely walk away with just some bruising. Or if she was hurt worse, she’d heal quickly anyway. That way, Amanda could get her aggression out, even see Kim bleed without killing anyone and Kim could get what she felt she deserved.  
Win/win.  
However, she didn’t give as much leeway to Harper and her shitty behavior. What happened was between Kim and Amanda; Kim hadn’t done anything to Harper directly. While she could understand defending your best friend, Harper was angrier about it than Amanda was. Harper seemed to be taking the whole thing harder than Amanda and it didn’t make sense to Kim. It was one thing to stand up for a friend, it was another to be obsessively angry for them the way Harper was. Harper acted like it was her nude picture and that Kim didn’t text it but put it on a billboard or something. The girl was downright scary at times in her hatred towards Kim, not that Kim really cared what Harper thought anymore.  
Or did to start with, at least much.  
Honestly, Kim was glad to be rid of Harper and to a lesser extent Amanda. Harper was one of the most self-centered, narcissistic, and selfish people she’d ever met and as an obnoxiously rich kid raised at boarding school around other more obnoxiously richer kids, that was saying a lot. But Harper had the self-awareness a lot of the other kids similar to her that Kim went to school within London lacked.  
The kids at boarding school were usually so well-off they didn’t live a normal life like Harper did. They didn’t cook their own food, go shopping for their own clothes, do their own laundry, and the like. Unlike Harper, they had no idea what the world was like outside the safe money bubble their parents created and coddled them with. They suffered from ‘affluenza cluelessness’ which had also affected Kim until she left that environment. Moving to Canada (before Angel Grove) did a lot to put her feet on the ground and reality check her, as did her mother.  
Whether their selfishness and cluelessness were caused by actual malice versus a detachment from reality was debatable but either way, it didn’t excuse Kim’s old classmates. She didn’t make excuses for them either. But when she viewed them and Harper side by side, she was struck by how much worse Harper really was.  
First off, Harper was nowhere near as dumb or clueless as she let on. There was no excuse of a sheltered life to try and pass her, at times, bimbo-like attitude off as a result of. Her parents had money but only to the point of being comfortable. They had a nice big house, all their bills were paid and they went on nice vacations. She had two older brothers and they never went without. But they were nowhere near as high-class or well-off as Harper liked to try to pretend she was.  
Not that Kim cared; she had money- or her parents did and honestly, it didn’t make her happy so it meant very little to her. She didn’t know what Harper thought being rich would give her but she wished her good luck. Sarcastically.  
It irritated Kim that Harper acted like she was better than anyone around her when she was one of the worst. Honestly, she was probably the only person Kim would put on a list above herself for ‘worst person ever’; Harper might get the number one slot. The tall blonde girl felt that an ordinary life was below her as were her friends and everything around her. She went around feeling she entitled to what she wanted whether she was scamming for something extra, an upgrade to what she already had, a few dollars from a friend (Kim), or something else she wanted but didn’t actually have the means to get. She was no stranger to the five-finger-discount at the mall when the Bank of Hart or ATM Kim didn’t want to cough up any dough.  
The girl’s family wasn’t much better; Harper’s mother was a social-climbing gossip who ran a flower shop that didn’t like to cater to certain “lifestyles” and her father was a loud-mouth, opinionated city council member who was more bluster than anything else. Harper’s brothers were some of the same. A set of twins, Jordan and Bryson were very different from each other; Jordan was lean and quiet with a snobby edge who preferred to avoid conflict and generally disappeared even if you were looking at him while Bryson was his father only taller, meaner, and possibly on steroids. Then there was Harper.  
Kim wondered what was in the water wherever Harper’s parents lived when they conceived their children because all three kids were messed up.  
The chemistry in their group worked so that Harper brought out the worst in Amanda and in turn, Amanda brought out the worst in Kim. It wasn’t a pretty or pleasant circle to be a part of but she’d stuck with it because of the protection popularity gave her from the rest of the teenage vultures wandering the halls of Angel Grove High. Any sign of weakness and they struck, whether it was the ones like Billy’s bully, Cole, or the ones like in Kim’s own circle. It didn’t matter; anyone was a target and any perceived flaw was pounced on and used to tear a person apart.  
The tough jungles of high school survival.  
Kim had used her popularity as a shield, using the people lower on the food chain than herself to take the worst of any attacks. It was the way the hierarchy of high school worked and Kim had lucked out in a big way in that despite being half-Indian, no one seemed to notice or care (maybe since she had the most money, she wasn’t sure). Somehow, she’d managed to get to the top of the back-stabbing, bullying madness to be the Queen of it. Only to discover what a horrible place the top was to exist in.  
Now though, Kim had been violently purged from the echelon of high school ‘greatness’ and cast down into the depths of the ‘outcasts’ where she’d never felt more at home. Where, if she had a day where she didn’t want to put more than a little mascara on, no one cared. In her old life, she would have had to endure a Sephora makeover after being dragged away by Harper and Amanda. Now, as long as she was presentable, she was good. And if she wasn’t presentable, people cared enough to ask why.  
It was an interesting and refreshing experience. Unfortunately, not one Kim felt she deserved.  
_How long until you fuck up these friendships? She asked herself, barely able to look at her reflection. How long until you hurt these people too? Or worse yet: How long until they figure out who you really are?_  
“Fuck!” she hissed at herself. This was why she hated being alone lately; her inner voice was being obnoxious and her self-hatred was at an all-time high. If she could stay distracted, she could keep her self-loathing to a minimum but alone she either had to put up with it or find a way to drown it out. Now that she was a Ranger, her old ways of ‘drowning it out’ were no longer viable so she tried to sleep a lot more than she used to despite not feeling physically tired. At least most of the time her mind shut up and left her alone when she was asleep.  
Unless you counted the nightmares that were more common than not. While bad dreams weren’t new to Kim, nightmares like these were. Still, being asleep was still better than letting her mind run away with her sometimes. At least in a nightmare, generally, she couldn’t hurt herself.  
Lost in her thoughts as they started to spiral, Kim flashed back to the other reason why she was in the room trying to clear her mind: the phone call she’d received earlier from her mother.  
It made her wish that she’d done more damage to her phone than her bureau the morning after Trini slept over. Unfortunately, while the bureau had a hole in the side, the cell phone still worked perfectly. If it didn’t, maybe she would have missed the call and had a pretty decent day as a result.  
Her mother rarely called unless something was wrong, which typically meant Kim did something or someone died. Kim wasn’t sure when she heard her mother’s ringtone which one she preferred. Either way, for once she’d like to talk to one of her parents without having to get into trouble or someone literally having to die.  
Today wasn’t that day since the wait for the answer wasn’t very long. Her mother left very little time for pleasantries with her daughter and launched right into telling her about an email she’d just received from Paul Clarke, Amanda’s father. The man turned out to be as big a tattletale as his daughter.  
_Runs in the family, I guess. Her mother’s a beast too,_ Kim had thought to herself at the time. Cecilia Clarke was a handful and a half. While the Clarke’s had never been anything less than welcoming and lovely to Kim, understandably after what she’d done with the picture of Amanda, they no longer cared for her at all. They’d demanded far harsher punishment from the school than what she’d gotten but since what she’d done hadn’t taken place on school grounds, the administration was limited for how they could punish her.  
As far as Kim knew, the Clarkes were still looking into possibly filing a lawsuit. Or already had and her own parents had shielded her from it. Again, she wasn’t sure which she preferred.  
It was still surprising that Mr. Clarke would go so far as to email her mother, though. Especially given that in the situation Kim was innocent for a change. And by extension, so was Trini.  
The awful thought that Mr. Clarke also emailed or called the Gomez’s almost made Kim have a panic attack. Trini would end up grounded or worse, the whole family would be uprooted and moved across the country again just to get away from Kim.  
_Trini would be so pissed!_ she realized. _Shit! She’ll never forgive me if she’s ever allowed near me again. God, I’m gonna fuck up her life. Gotta be more careful._  
If it weren’t for the coins, despite how much she liked her new friends and more so Trini herself, Kim was pretty sure she’d be long gone just to spare them the drag she was inevitably going to bring on their lives. She still wanted to leave, to disappear.  
_My car, Jason’s van, or whatever else- I’d be a memory to Angel Grove. An echo._  
But now, for lack of a better word, she was stuck. The very thought made her skin feel too tight and the air too thin. Her feet twitched on the floor, the desire to take off flitting through them.  
Her mother’s irritated voice had pulled her from her thoughts and back to the email she’d received. Maddy Hart wanted an explanation as to what had happened that had resulted in Amanda along with Harper and Ty getting a month’s worth of detention while Kim hadn’t been punished at all. For some reason, that was unimaginable to her.  
The clear lack of trust and faith that her mother had in her was painful and left a heavy stinging sensation in Kim’s chest. It made taking a deep breath almost impossible as her ribs seemed to dig into her organs when she tried. But she refused to let her mother know how much she was hurt and defended herself, calmly at first.  
Patiently, she walked her mother through the confrontation, careful to edit certain things out because even now there were things that she’d never told her parents and now wasn't a good time to suddenly confess her sexual history. On the other hand, she was careful not to exaggerate because her mother was nothing if not astute when it came to reading people. Maddy Hart was sharp and it was hard to get one over on her. Kim figured it would be harder for her to get away with half of what she did if she saw the woman more often. If Maddy was actually watching her with her own two eyes, Kim was doubtful she’d get away with anything.  
Her father Ted, on the other hand, while brilliant had the attention span of a hyperactive puppy and was the ‘push-over’ parent, hence why Kim was hearing from Maddy. It wasn’t that Ted couldn’t or wouldn’t discipline his daughter, he just hated doing it. Even if he was mad at her it never lasted long. But what did last was his disappointment; that hung around her like a cloud she wasn’t able to outrun no matter how much distance was between the two.  
However, Maddy was still unconvinced that Kim didn’t somehow provoke Ty and her former friends and said she’d be calling the principal in the morning to verify Kim’s story. That was when the teen started to lose her temper and explained that in her opinion, considering what they had said to her and Trini, a month was nowhere near long enough. But since she didn’t want to be stuck with them in detention any longer than she had to be, she’d take it.  
Unfortunately, the nature of their relationship meant that any time Kim began to display an attitude, her mother became snappish back to her. As a result, the conversation spiraled into first- her mother calling her petty and childish while also saying she was not living up to her expectations. And second, a lecture about why Maddy had no faith in her daughter’s decision-making skills and no longer trusted her. After all, Kim had proven herself unworthy of any trust only recently and had yet to show any growth.  
A lump formed in Kim’s throat at that admission; knowing her parents had no faith in her and couldn’t trust her hurt more than anything Ty or her other bullies could ever do.  
_Hey, helped save the world and all that. That’s probably a fluke tho and I’ll wake up tomorrow and the coin will be long gone. I know I was just a temporary desperate choice anyway. Not too sure I’d be all that upset at this point if that’s what happened. I could get the fuck out of dodge if it did._  
But Maddy wasn’t done and hit Kim with a shot she wasn’t expecting. It was still echoing painfully in her mind hours later.  
“I would just hate to see you do something to these new friends you have,” her mother had said in a somewhat caring tone but Kim could hear the knife hidden within. “You’re so lucky they accept you, after all. I’d hate for you to hurt them like you did Amanda. Especially the one you spend so much time with, what’s her name again? Trini? You have to be careful, Kimberly. You don’t want to do anything to make things harder for her now, do you? I mean, I never thought you were capable of what you did to Amanda but here we are. Remember that before you get too close to Trini; try to think of her first.”  
Immediately, Kim wanted to protest and insist that she was indeed putting someone else first and that person was Trini. Maybe she was so selfish that it was the first time she was doing it but the whole reason she hadn’t immediately just flipped out on Ty that afternoon was Trini. She didn’t want to get Trini in trouble, to get the younger girl into a fight, get her suspended, to show Trini that bad side of herself…  
Maybe that one was selfish but it still worked towards stopping her usual self-destructive impulsive behavior, Kim knew it did. Not wanting her new friend to see the person she used to be was helping her to make better decisions. And not wanting to abandon Trini, or the guys and the duty they’d all been given was why she hadn’t taken off or left. Or anything else she thought about doing.  
“Don’t trick someone else into thinking you’re their friend until they hurt your feelings, again. You were raised better than that, Beti.”  
There was so much more to the story but Maddy had never really agreed that an argument over a boy was worth sending Amanda’s nude photo out. She had sympathized with her daughter but been horrified by what she’d done and obviously felt it was something that Kim would repeat if she wasn’t watched and warned against it  
Even thinking about it now made Kim’s stomach churn and the back of her throat burn with bile and tears. There was no way she’d do something like that to hurt Trini- it went beyond anything she could explain but she just wouldn’t. She’d die first. Or the look of hurt and betrayal in those beautiful hazel eyes would kill her. The thought of Trini’s face, only now beginning to break from its neutral mask into something expressive and open when around Kim, twisted and crumpled in pain because of something Kim had done…  
Kim’s breath caught and her heart raced.  
_Stop it! Stop letting what she said wind you up,_ she told herself firmly. But if anyone knew what buttons to push to make Kim unsteady on her feet, it was Maddy- her mother.  
As a result, at the time she’d snapped at her mother and mouthed off which only made the situation worse. Her mother started ranting at her in Gujarati, telling her how ungrateful and troublesome she could be; all things Kim had heard before and was familiar with. Next came her mother lamenting how much Kim had changed over the past few months and how this new attitude was unlike her. The words ‘spoiled’ and ‘entitled’ were thrown about, again nothing Kim hadn’t heard directed at her before.  
No matter how much Kim tried to backtrack and apologize, Maddy went on through what was becoming a familiar routine if and when she bothered to call. After calling her ungrateful came the complaining on how she’s changed. Next was usually threats to send her back to boarding school or as she had told Trini, military school of some sort. She wasn’t so sure her parents would follow through on the ‘sending away to school’ threat since she’d made it abundantly clear that if they tried it they would never see her again. Ever.  
And they believed her in that one thing, at least.  
Lastly, came the guilt trip that was always laid on thick and heavy, like extra sticky peanut butter. Kim wondered at times if there were a class expectant mothers were given on exactly how to guilt-trip properly. Either that or her mother was a natural-born savant.  
Rolling her eyes, Kim couldn’t help making a face as her mother went on about how over-dramatic Kim was acting and how she and her father only wanted what was best for Kim. Maddy asked why Kim had to make things so difficult and why she insisted on being so stubborn which left Kim at a loss as to how to defend herself.  
The problem was, she didn’t know why she acted the way she did sometimes. She just did and that was most of the problem; she reacted without thinking. How was she supposed to explain that? When she tried, she just sounded immature and pathetic.  
Which, she realized, she was.  
The phone call had ended with her mother saying again how she was going to call the school and verify Kim’s story, another warning about not getting too close and hurting Trini and then a hasty ‘I love you’ before the woman hung up, leaving Kim to drop her phone unceremoniously on her bedside table. She then promptly took a nap in an effort to escape her mother’s words as they rattled around her brain.  
Unfortunately, the nap didn’t help and hours later they were still there echoing around.  
“Trust me, Mom,” she sighed heavily as she ran a hand through her sweaty hair, “not hurting Trini is almost all I think about.” _Probably gonna fail at that, too._  
Glancing at one of the mirrors, she walked closer and looked at herself curiously. She liked the shorter hair and even more so when her mother hated it. But for the most part, Kim wasn’t sure who she was looking at anymore. The face was the same, it was as it had always been, at least to her. Except for her eyes; instead of the bright chocolate color she was used to, she just saw dull brown. Ordinary bland brown. There was no light or life behind them anymore and she wasn’t sure what that meant.  
And she wondered what other people saw when they looked at her now.  
_ Shame?_  
_ Guilt?_  
_ Self-hatred?_  
_ Or do they still see the pretty, popular girl without a care in the world?_  
“What a fucking lie,” she spat, growing angry. Her teeth ground together almost painfully. “God, I just want the fuck out!” She slammed her fist down on the glass and was thankful it didn’t break.  
“Don’t do that, asshole,” she snapped at the face looking back at her. “Fucking idiot.”  
A slight vibration in her pocket made her break her staring contest with herself. Pulling her coin out of the side pocket of her lycra pants, she held it in her palm. It twinkled at her but was otherwise silent.  
At that moment, Kim hated it. Absolutely despised the powerful stone. It became the focus of her anger; it was what was keeping her in Angel Grove. It was what stopped her from leaving, dumped a shitton of responsibility on her, forced her presence into the lives of four pretty great people who she was only going to bring down with her, put her life in danger, and it put her in Trini’s path. That was what bothered her the most; her mother was right and it was inevitable that she was going to hurt her best friend in some way. It was all the damn coin’s fault she was in Trini’s life to begin with.  
_Poisoning her like the fucking plague,_ she thought bitterly.  
"_That’s being a little dramatic,"_ her inner voice responded. Kim promptly told the logical voice in her head to shut up, she was wallowing in her self-hatred and wanted to be left to it in peace. Like any self-respecting depressed teenager.  
Slowly, she closed her fist around it gradually increasing the pressure more and more until the golden stone surrounding the glowing pink gem started to bite painfully into the creases of her knuckles. The coin pulsed calmly in her hand, unaffected by either her anger or her hold. Then she squeezed harder, wondering what would give first: the stone or her bones.  
Tighter and tighter she squeezed, ignoring the pain as her knuckles turned white at the effort and her wrist began to shake. When it became apparent that it would be her bones, which she suspected to start with, she stopped and relaxed her hand. The tendons and ligaments had been tightened so much that they froze for a split second before straightening out again. The insides of her knuckles were red and irritated where the ancient rock had dug in. The coin itself was unaffected.  
Kim glared at it, feeling like it was somehow mocking her.  
“Fucker. If I wasn’t 50% sure you’d just end up in my pocket again, I’d go put you back,” she threatened it. But she’d secretly tried that and didn’t even make it more than 10 feet before she felt the coin resettle in her pocket. After 5 tries, she’d given up and gone home. “You’re like fucking herpes. Not that I’d know but, still.”  
Placing the offending object back in her pocket, she ran both hands through her hair and pulled at the sides a little in frustration. Letting out a cry of angry frustration, she jumped when her cell phone went off.  
She knew who it was and swore at herself for not shielding her end of the link better.

**POKEMON SUN** (she had no intention of changing the names on her own phone)  
Hey what’s up?

** POKEMON MOON**  
Nothing. Just chilling

**POKEMON SUN**  
U ok?  
Feeling kinda grr  
On ur end

  
They had to be careful how they worded things both on the phone and over text just in case someone ever got ahold of their messages and Kim appreciated the way Trini choice to word her comment.

  
** POKEMON MOON**  
Lol sorry  
Just a few shit messages from AC and co  
Normal shit I’m just being pissy

It wasn’t a complete lie since she was subjected to bullying text messages off and on each day. But she’d managed to put Amanda, Harper, and others from her old life into a different messaging program that grouped them together and the chime was different so she could ignore them en mass if she chose to. Usually, she read them anyway. Still, she hated lying to Trini, however minor and hated herself even more for doing it.

**POKEMON SUN**  
You could tell someone about it

Kim snorted.

  
** POKEMON MOON**  
Nah  
In enough trouble for today  
Mom called. Mr. Clarke emailed her  
Amanda’s a great liar

**POKEMON SUN**  
WHAT THE FUCK?  
HE WHAT?

Relief flooded Kim’s system; the response told her that Mr. Clarke hadn’t contacted Trini’s parents and if that was the only lucky break she got, Kim would gladly take it.

**POKEMON SUN**  
YOU’VE GOTTA BE KISSING ME  
I’LL KNOCK THE DYE RIGHT OUT OF HER HAIR!

Kim’s eyebrows shot up and she smirked.  
Several miles away:  
What Trini typed finally registered with her. “ACK!” she choked on her spit. A deep red flush ran up her neck, over her face and ears and all the way to the top of her scalp. “Oh my God, oh, my God, oh my God,” she panicked, frantically typing on the phone.  
_ If I send it fast enough, she’ll forget about it, right? Oh God!_

**POKEMON SUN**  
*kidding  
sorry, capslock  
Oops

Kim giggled, imagining the look and blush on her friend’s face.  
_I’d give my life to see her face right now._

** POKEMON MOON**  
It’s cool  
I gotta grab a shower  
I’ll tell you about it in the AM

**POKEMON SUN**  
You sure?  
I can sneak out

** POKEMON MOON**  
Thanks but I’m tired and just wanna sleep  
See you in the morning  
<3

**POKEMON SUN**  
Ok  
I’m here if you need me  
:)

  
Kim didn’t answer her knowing Trini wouldn’t mind or at least hoping she wouldn’t. Part of her wanted Trini to show up just for some company and to distract her from her thoughts but a larger part of her wanted the younger girl to stay away, for her own sake.  
Feeling a headache building behind her eyes, Kim sighed and headed for the shower. Her plan was to shower, grab a snack, and go to bed in hopes than when she woke up in the morning she might hate herself a little less.  
But she didn’t hold out a lot of hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note: the mental illness tag isn't because Kim talks to herself or has an inner voice. I talk to myself like that (but nicer, lol) all the time. Just want to be clear. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it.


	6. She Stops My Bones from Wandering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trini is having trouble sleeping when Kim appears in her window

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TAGS: PTSD, nightmares
> 
> Wow, you guys put this over 1,000 views already. That's mind-blowing to me. Thank you so much!   
This is a shorter chapter but the whole story was originally based on 2 scene ideas and this is one of them. This was a "starting point" in a way for a lot of what I've written in the past 20 months or so. I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Since you guys hit 1,000 views and this is a shorter chapter if time permits I'm going to try and get an extra update in sometime around Tues. It most likely won't be a massively long one but I really want to thank you for your amazing support!

A few nights later, Trini found herself staring at the indentation above her bed where Rita had slammed her body into the ceiling wondering how long a human/Ranger could go without proper sleep until they cracked. She was pretty sure sleeping in 2-hour increments twice a night for almost 3 weeks had to be some sort of record. Her grades were starting to slip and it was affecting her training with the other Rangers now that they started again. She was crankier, tired, and her parents were starting to notice.

She was debating how to approach Kim about finding a way to share a bed more often, while not sounding desperate or weak, or like a thirsty gay. It seemed like the easiest and most selfish answer; she liked it. She’d just about settled on it when a thump at her window made her jump. She lifted her head half expecting to see Rita’s horrible grinning face peering back at her and instead saw Kim’s beautiful grinning face in her window giving her a thumbs up. She got up to unlock the window and let Kim in.

“What are you doing?” She asked although she couldn’t stop smiling. It was like thinking of the older girl conjured her. “It’s like 1:30 in the morning.” Kim stepped into the room with barely a sound and dropped a quick peck on Trini’s cheek. The Latina hoped that in the darkness her friend couldn’t see the deep blush she felt rush up her neck to her cheeks up to the tips of her ears. She was grateful Ranger super-hearing wasn’t so acute that Kim would hear her rapid heartbeat and then cursed her budding crush on the other girl for the reaction.

“You can’t sleep so I brought donuts and cuddles,” Kim explained, already kicking off her shoes with the intent to stay. Opening her backpack, she pulled out a somewhat squished bag of Krispy Kreme.

“Where did you...?” Trini started. Angel Grove’s Krispy Kreme was still a pile of wreckage in the midst of being removed and rebuilt so Kim had to have driven at least 50 miles to get the donuts which was beyond sweet of her.

“Ug, two towns over,” Kim sighed, reaching into the bag as she climbed onto the bed. “I didn’t mean to squish them. Eh, they’ll taste the same!” She handed one to Trini and patted the bed with her other hand. She tilted her head when Trini just blinked at her. “What? I won’t bite, I promise. And I set an alarm on my phone so I’ll be gone before your parents catch me here.”

Trini’s smile widened and she got on the bed, taking a bite of the donut and letting its sweet sugary nirvana settle on her tongue. “Why are you here with donuts? I’m not complaining, though.” Kim shrugged.

“You can’t sleep, I was hungry. Compromise.” She pulled the covers up over their legs as she finished her donut. “Mmmmm, totally worth the drive.” She checked her phone and then placed it on the bedside table.

“You’re always hungry,” Trini laughed softly. “At least for donuts.”

Kim tilted her head. “This is true.” She smiled brightly at Trini, unknowingly making the Yellow Ranger’s heart flip flop.

“How did you know I couldn’t sleep?” Trini wondered as she finished her own donut and let the older girl pull her further down into the bed and into the little spoon position, something she’d never admit to loving. “And no hogging the blankets.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Like the few other times they’d shared space, they slid together naturally as if it were the millionth. Trini could not get over the way their bodies seemed to fit together perfectly and prayed that Kim couldn’t feel the way her breath stuttered at nearly every brush of their bodies against each other. Internally, she cussed at her body’s natural reaction to Kimberly’s touch and her growing feelings which were getting harder to ignore and suppress.

“All I can see when I close my eyes is yellow.” Kim’s breath was warm on Trini’s ear and made her shiver, a fact which Kim either missed (unlikely) or ignored. Kim’s body was taller, lankier and as such she was able to drape herself over Trini’s smaller, curvier frame. Trini hadn’t figured herself for much of a cuddler but with Kim at least, she loved it and was immediately on the edge of sleep surrounded by Kim’s warmth, protection, and scent. Kim had that effect on her, wearing down her sharp edges and making all her hard angles soft. Trini didn’t know whether to love her or hate her for doing it so effortlessly.

“Yellow?” She murmured. She was tired but she was afraid to sleep and dream of Rita attacking her again. Kim’s hold on her tightened slightly.

“Yellow. Yellow and sometimes a flash of green and gold. Fear and pain. And anger. Then you, and I by extension, wake up.”

“Rita,” Trini whispered, afraid to say her name too loudly and somehow invoke the villain into being the way she thought of Kim and she appeared. She felt terrible that she was keeping Kim awake, however accidentally.

“I figured,” Kim responded softly. Trini tried to turn around to face Kim but the taller girl wouldn’t let her. “Shh, just let me hold you, ok?” Trini resettled in her friend’s warm arms.

“I’m sorry I’m keeping you awake,” she apologized. Another thought struck her. “Shit, am I keeping the guys awake too?” Kim’s hair tickled her neck as the former cheerleader shook her head.

“Nah, I asked them how they were sleeping and if they saw our auras when they did. They’re having their own issues with sleep but they’re not seeing any of our colors. Plus, they’re not as attuned to you as I am, I don’t think.” Kim yawned and pressed her nose to Trini’s shoulder. She didn’t address any theories on why she was so attuned to Trini’s emotional state and Trini wasn’t willing to offer any of her own up, either.

“What about you?” Trini wondered around her own yawn. Her eyes were drooping shut. “Do you have any nightmares, besides mine, I mean?” 

_ And other than those accidentally induced by bonfires _ , Trini reminded herself bitterly. They still hadn’t talked about that.

Kim shifted impossibly closer and Trini would swear she felt a featherlight kiss dropped on her clothed shoulder.

“I sleep like the dead,” Kim answered on an exhale. Trini knew it was a lie and part of her heart broke that the other girl was pushing aside her own suffering for her. She opened her mouth to protest but Kim cut her off. “I’m here for you tonight, Trin. I get more sleep than you do. Leave it at that.”

Trini bit her tongue; there was Kim downplaying her own suffering again. She didn’t understand why her friend was like that or why it seemed like such a natural state for her. Each time Trini tried to raise a question or concern, it was dismissed before the words ever fully formed and it bothered her. But again, that tone of voice didn’t leave any room for argument and Kim had traveled there for Trini, not herself. And Trini didn’t like being forced to talk either; she couldn’t very well demand that Kim talk to her if she didn’t want to. It was hypocritical of her.

Trini nodded and they were quiet for a while. She drifted in and out, still fighting sleep but could tell Kim was still awake because her fingers were playing with the hem of Trini’s faded sleep shirt and she had a habit of softly humming when her mind wandered. Billy found the humming behavior fascinating especially since Kim wasn’t aware she was doing unless you pointed it out. Trini figured she should find it annoying when trying to study or sleep, but it actually soothed her even more because it meant Kim was actually there, her presence was real.

Sometimes, although Trini was loathed to admit it, she wondered if the whole Power Rangers thing was the result of a head injury from the ledge she was standing on collapsing when they all fell into the mine. There was an all-encompassing fear at times that she was actually in a coma having a really vivid dream. The thought terrified her because she knew that this was one of the happiest times in her life. To think that she was happier lying in a half-dead dream-state instead of alive was beyond depressing. And she ached for her friends, for Kim, to exist in her life in reality and these feelings of belonging, of friendship and love, to be hers to experience and luxuriate in. She was desperate for the ‘dream’ to be her reality.

“Go t’ sleep,” Kim whispered, voice gravelly and low. “‘M right here.” She squeezed tighter and Trini couldn’t help the squeak of contentment that escaped her. She hated that she blushed but decided that it was worth it to hear Kim’s soft, sleepy chuckle.

She hadn’t wanted to admit to anyone that she was suffering from nightmares of Rita’s attack on her just yet. But here, wrapped up in Kim’s arms, feeling safer and more protected than she had in years the truth began spilling from her lips. “I keep seeing her here, she keeps coming back. She keeps hurting me and...others.” Trini tried to block out the other images from her dreams of the people she’s seen Rita kill in her mind; her parents, her brothers, Billy, Jason, Zack...Kimberly.

In Trini’s dreams, Rita takes extra care and sadistic joy in the torture and murder of the Pink Ranger as a way to punish the Yellow Ranger for not helping her to get the Zeo Crystal and choosing instead to bitch-slap her out into space. Trini’s subconscious had made an art form of using her fear and emerging feelings for her best friend as an anti-sleeping aid with images of a broken, bleeding Kimberly laying on the ground in front of her or begging her for help. Or worst of all, begging Trini herself to stop hurting her.

Those nightmares were the worst; the ones where she was weak and let her feelings of anger and rejection get the better of her so she joined Rita in her quest for the Zeo Crystal. In those dreams it’s Kim who tries to bring her back to the Rangers, refuses to fight her and wills away her armor when Trini, convinced that Kim’s been lying about being her friend and has been lying the whole time and will armor up to protect herself, viciously attacks. Trini swears she can actually feel the way Kim’s bones break in her hands and how hot her blood is as it hits her yellow armor-or the way the air rattles against her thumbs as Kim tries to breathe against the chokehold Trini has on her throat- when she wakes screaming and sick.

Shivering as the images flashed behind her eyes and Rita’s psychotic laughter echoed in her ears, Trini burrowed backward further into Kim’s arms.

“I won’t let her hurt you ever again,” Kim vowed, pressing her forehead to the back of Trini’s neck. Her voice was solid and sure, chasing the last of the echoing laughter away. There was no doubt in Trini’s mind that Kim meant every word.

Kim’s arm slipped from Trini’s waist for a moment but before the small girl could protest, it slipped across to the opposite shoulder to hold her tighter to the taller girl’s body. Amazingly, chivalrous Kimberly managed not to touch her chest ‘inappropriately’. “I promise I’ll always keep you safe, Trin. Nothing’s gonna hurt you like that again while I’m alive.” The promise filled Trini with a feeling of safety that she hadn’t felt since long before Rita ever entered the picture, from back before she moved to Angel Grove. It was a feeling she hadn’t felt since earlier in her childhood when she still thought her parents would love and protect her unconditionally which had been disproven when she’d first come out to them and been temporarily disowned by her mother. The feeling of safety she’d always associated with her family didn’t return even after her father overruled her mother and Trini was allowed to stay in the house but here was Kimberly Hart, giving it back to her in a solemn whisper as if it were her life’s calling and asking for nothing in return.

There was so much she wanted to say back to her friend- to make the same promise back, to tell Kim that she’d guard her just as ferociously and that she also heard the unspoken part of the promise but she was so very tired.

“Kim...” she whimpered. She fought to keep her eyes open for a few more moments but now it was more to stay awake with Kim than to avoid Rita. Kim tangled their legs together and snuggled closer.

“Ssssh. I know. I’m right here. Nothing will hurt you. Go to sleep.” She started to hum, this time on purpose and although Trini had no idea what the tune was, it soothed her into a deep slumber.

-

About an hour later, a soft whimper woke Kim from a twilight sleep. Forcing herself all the way awake, she felt Trini moving and realized the younger girl was having a disturbing dream but probably not a really bad nightmare. It took a moment before she noticed that Trini was rubbing her feet together and she wondered if that was something she did to comfort herself. 

Holding her tighter, she put her lips beside Trini’s ear and started to whisper very softly. “Sssh, sweetheart, it’s ok. She can’t get you, not with me here. I won’t allow it.” She then started humming again and slowly Trini’s feet stopped moving and she relaxed back into a dreamless sleep with a heavy sigh. 

“There ya go. Just sleep.” Giving Trini’s temple a quick kiss, Kim blushed and chastised herself for the moment of weakness before she settled back down and started to hum again until she too dozed back off.

-

Trini awoke to a soft beeping she didn’t recognize that was quickly shut off. A groan rumbled under her ear and woke her further. Blinking, she took in her position; somehow she’d ended up partially on top of Kim with her head tucked under the taller girl’s chin and her arms around Kim’s waist. Their legs were tangled together and Trini knew she should feel embarrassed by their intimate position but she was enjoying the contentment she felt too much.

“Mornin’,” Kim greeted her, one hand beginning to run through Trini’s long hair. It was so comfortable and felt so normal Trini nearly cried. “It’s almost 7 so I have to go soon. But you got about 5 good hours of sleep.” It wasn’t much more than usual but Trini realized that she did feel a bit better than she did most mornings lately.

“Mmmm,” she hummed in happiness. “‘We’ got 5. Right?” She lifted her head to look at Kim, noting with a frown the tired brown eyes looking back at her. “You slept too, didn’t you?” Kim smiled softly at her.

“What kind of protector would I be if I fell asleep on watch?” She asked playfully. Trini began to sit up but Kim held her tighter to her. “Hey, wait. It’s ok. I’m gonna go home and sleep. It’s Sunday- you and Billy have church, there’s no training, and I’ve got nothing else to do today.” Trini sighed against Kim’s collarbone and played with the neck of the other girl’s sleep shirt.

“Promise me you’ll get at least 4,” she demanded, putting her best badass edge to her voice. She growled when Kim giggled at the tone. She was totally losing her edge when it came to the older girl. “I mean it, Kim.” She lifted her head again to look at her friend. “You have to sleep too, y’know. If you’re gonna look out for me you’re gonna have to deal with me looking out for you. We’re kinda a package deal, now.”

“Hmmm,” Kim pondered still running her hand through Trini’s hair absently. “I can deal with that. Kinda seems worth it, really.” The five-minute snooze alarm on Kim’s phone reminded them that she had to go soon. They reluctantly got up with Trini listening for the sounds of her family moving around. She heard the shower turn on and knew Kim had to leave.

“My Dad’s in the shower so that means Mom’s about 5 minutes from knocking on the door if she even bothers with knocking” she explained while Kim laced up her shoes. “Uhm...thanks.” In the bright light of early morning, it was much harder for her to express her emotions, even to Kimberly.

Kim gave her an incredulous look. “Uhm...you’re welcome,” she parroted. Trini rolled her eyes as she shifted uncomfortably on her feet.

“I’m emotionally stunted,” she grumbled making Kim laugh softly.

“No shit.” Kim got up and gathered grumpy Trini into her arms for a tight hug. Surrounded again by Kim’s warmth and scent, Trini’s mood shifted to something more pleasant and she wrapped her arms around Kim’s waist. “I’m kidding. I’m always gonna be here for you, you emotionally constipated kitten.” Kim ignored the muffled ‘hey’ Trini let out in protest. “Even when you can’t say it, I’ll know so don’t worry about it.” 

When they parted, Trini wiped at her eyes hoping Kim didn’t notice they’d become shiny at her words. If she did, she didn’t say anything. She just reached for the bag of Krispy Kreme and handed it to Trini while shouldering her backpack.

“There’s 2 more Devil’s Food in there for you,” she explained as she slid open the window and started to climb out.

“Don’t you want one?” Trini asked, secretly touched by the gesture. Kim shook her head.

“No, they’re your favorite. I got them for you.” She gave Trini a dazzling smile and let go of the windowsill before Trini could respond, dropping to the ground soundlessly. Kim looked up and waved before sprinting down the street to where Trini could see she’d parked her car. It was far enough up the road that Trini’s parents would never notice it. She couldn’t stop smiling as she watched Kim drive away with another wave.

Her mother banging on her door as she opened it startled her out of her happy stupor. “Trini, get up...oh, you’re up! What are you doing up? Why are you looking out the window like that this early in the morning?” Trini rolled her eyes. Of course, her mother was already suspicious of her behavior. “Why is your window open?”

“Ay Dios Mio, Mama,” she grumbled in annoyance. “Good morning to you, too.” June Gomez frowned at her from the doorway.

“Good morning. We have church and you’re going this week so, stop staring out the window and get dressed. What are you looking at anyway? Is Mr. Longley walking his dog in just his robe again? I swear that man is a pervert. Keep your curtains closed.” Her mother stalked over to look out but thankfully Kim’s car was already out of view.

“No, Mom,” Trini sighed. She found a lie springing to her tongue surprisingly quickly. “I just saw a beautiful bird and wanted a closer look.” June slid the window shut and pulled the curtains closed.

“I don’t see any birds. Where did you get Krispy Kreme?” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it!  
Let me know what you think!


	7. Thursday Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TAGS: Racism, racial slurs, anxiety, panic attacks, mental health issues. 
> 
> A quiet day at school is interrupted by an apologetic Billy, a fire drill, some horsing around and a possibly devastating misunderstanding between Kim and Trini.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> I'm so sorry I didn't get anything up mid-week as I said but the prep and stuff for the holidays are limiting my time. This one is a bit longer to make up for it. It's a little all over the place so I apologize for that.  
And I'm afraid it's still going to be a while before any action happens; we're going to be dealing with them as teenagers for quite some time but I hope it's good enough to keep you interested. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Enjoy!

The schools did what they could to keep everything running on a regular schedule in the hopes that it would bring a sense of normalcy to everyone’s lives. Repairs to Angel Grove High School were going well and there were plans to bring in temporary trailers to start housing the destroyed middle-school in instead of packing the students into other schools. On top of creating an overcrowding problem, there were a lot of bullying issues going on between the grades and the counseling offices were stretched thin having to deal with that as well as a heap of new psychological concerns now that aliens and strange creatures had attacked the town. Extra psychologists and religious leaders of all sorts had been brought in across the district to help students and staff deal with their new reality. However, overall everything was in a state of flux that made everyone feel a little unstable.

About twenty minutes into second period, the school building was rocked by a large ‘BOOM’ . The windows rattled in most rooms but those closer to the source heard the sound of glass shattering; posters fell from walls, hanging lights swung precariously from side to side, students yelled and ducked in shock or fear. But four students, in particular, shook their heads and had the same thought:

_ Billy. _

Thanks to their link, they knew their friend wasn’t hurt or in danger; if anything they felt a deep sense of apology and chagrin which amused each of them to differing degrees. Jason, sitting in a business class with Kim, sent her a smirk. She returned it with a playful roll of her eyes.

When the teacher went to see what was going on, Jason walked over to her.

“What do you think he did?” he asked with a smile. “I mean, we’re all in Prag classes this morning; which one is he in? Please tell me he wasn’t in auto and that was a welding tank.” 

Kim had memorized their schedules so it only took a moment to think of it. “Hmm, we’re here, Trini’s in Software Programming with Zack. I think Billy was in… ha, oh shit, he was in the Home Econ class.” 

They both burst out laughing. 

“As long as no one’s hurt,” Jason snorted. 

“There’s probably like, a bunch of ovens on the front lawn,” Kim added. Just as she finished speaking, the fire alarm went off. “Damn thing sounds like someone’s killing an angry goose.” She hated that sound.

“Billy can cook though, I mean, somewhat,” Jason remarked as they headed outside. Some students were not taking things as calmly as others; they were running for the doors either in a panic thinking it was another alien attack or in happiness since they were getting to leave class. A few panicked kids had gone out the windows but thankfully no one on the second floor was that desperate to escape the building. 

“Take it easy!” Jason snapped at some underclassmen that were shoving other students out of the way and had shoved a girl to the floor in their haste. “We’re not under attack, take it down a notch!” Immediately, most of them shrunk away from the angry former jock and headed towards the exit in a calmer fashion. Jason and Kim helped her up. 

“You ok?” Kim asked her. 

“Yeah, thanks,” the redhead nodded and gave them a grateful smile. 

“No problem,” Jason reassured her. 

Once the girl walked off, Kim and Jason continued around the corner towards the exit. 

“Billy mentioned something last week about the ovens running inefficiently… wait, there’s Trini and Zack,” Kim pointed them out of the crowd coming towards them from the main hall. 

Zack was tall enough that he was easy to see above the mass of mostly 8th graders headed their way while Trini’s favorite gray beanie made her stand out as she walked beside him. 

It was that signature hat or one of the varied collection she had that let Kim find her almost immediately in a crowd or classroom with just a glance. Not many people wore their beanies indoors all the time; of those that did, few were female and even fewer had hair like Trini or were close to her height. 

There was one substitute teacher that didn’t allow hats of any kind, outside of those needed for religious reasons. He forced Trini to removed her beanie using the rarely enforced ‘no-hats’ rule in the Student Handbook. No other faculty member cared about headwear as long as nothing offensive was worn but the handbook hadn’t been updated in over ten years to reflect that. As a result, Trini usually spent that class time with her arms over her chest, glaring at the old man through the curtain of her wild hair.

Kim kind of enjoyed that crotchety old man even if he did call her ‘sweetie’ and walked at a snail’s pace. Aside from that, he was a retired rocket scientist and utterly brilliant so whenever he was subbing in, Kim was glad to see him. And Trini’s hair without a beanie.

Seeing a few of his former teammates glowering at Kim as they passed her at the door, Jason frowned. “Some of the guys on the football team are still pretty pissed at you.”

“Yeah, well, that’s Ty’s fault,” Kim said loudly enough for one or two of the jocks to hear her. “I didn’t know Coach was gonna bench him for the entire month he has detention and he’d end up missing the big game against Harwood County.”

“That’s actually my fault,” Jason said with a grimace. “After my shit, the team is on probation. In order to not forfeit the rest of the season, he had to punish Ty. Now, they’re on their third-string QB so any hopes of a state championship repeat are totally ruined.”

“Whoops,” Kim snickered.

“He should have thought about that before he put his hands on you,” Trini said pointedly as she and Zack reached them. 

“Damn right!” Zack backed her up. “No one messes with Princess.” He attempted to reach out and give her a noogie but Kim sidestepped him gracefully. He pouted at her. “So, we all agree this is Billy, right?”

“Yup.”

“Yeah.”

“Pretty much.”

“I didn’t do it,” Billy popped up behind them, startling all four Rangers. He gave a little wave when they turned to him. 

“Shit, Billy!” Jason asked, startled.

“Jumpy much?” Kim teased. Jason made a face at her.

“All right, what did you do?” Zack asked playfully. “Blow up the ovens?”

“Nothing blew up, not technically. I was helping a contractor recalibrate the pressure of…”

“Oh no,” Trini groaned with a smirk.

“Oh geez,” Jason added.

“It’s not really all that bad!” Billy was quick to assure them. “There’s no fire and no one got hurt. Er, well, the contractor probably needs to get his ears checked because that was really loud but yeah no one’s hurt.”

“That’s good,” Kim remarked. 

“Yay, but I hope we don’t have to go back to class; it’s beautiful outside!” Zack announced with a cheer. He walked in a small circle with his arms out. “Ah, sunlight! Fresh air! No more reading fucking code!”

“Language, Mr. Taylor!”

“Sorry, Mr. Simmons,” Zack called back to his Software Programming teacher. He looked at his friends and sighed. “I bet that earned me an extra homework assignment. Great.”

“Free speech, fight the man,” Jason said sarcastically while holding up his fist. Zack shoved at his face while they laughed. 

“You  _ are _ the man, white boy,” Trini snarked good-naturedly. Jason put his hand on his chest and pretended to be wounded.

“I’m offended.”

“And a snowflake, like your skin,” she smirked. 

The five continued to horse around, teasing and laughing at each other on the grass beside the track where their end of the school had gathered. Nothing was on fire and no one was hurt, thankfully the contractor had only given himself a headache, but they still had to wait for the fire department, EMS, and police departments to arrive and assess the situation. 

Unknown to the Rangers, they were being watched.

“Harper, could you be any more obvious?” Amanda snapped at her friend from where they stood a few hundred feet away from Kim and her friends. “You’re staring. If they look over here and see you staring at them like some psycho stalker, I don’t know you.”

“Calm down,” Harper hissed.

“No, I won’t,” Amanda snapped back. “Do you have any idea how pissed my Dad was when he found out I liked about how I got detention?”

“You should learn to lie better,” Harper said flippantly.

Amanda shook her head. “I told you, it wouldn’t have mattered; he emailed Kim’s Mom bitching about the whole thing. Then Mrs. Hart called the school for the story and found out I was lying. Do you know what she did then? She fucking CALLED my Dad!” Harper looked at her, unimpressed. “Shit, Harper, she doesn’t even call Kim and she called my Dad.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, and he took away your car for a month, boo hoo,” Harper mocked. “I don’t even have a car.”

“And he took away both my credit cards and put a limit on my phone plan. I’m not messing around with Kim again, at least not at school for a while.” Harper gave her a disgusted look. “What? Like you didn’t get into trouble too? I know my Dad called yours…”

“Whatever,” Harper waved her off, “I don’t care what my fat old man says or threatens; he can’t stop me from doing what I want.” 

Amanda rolled her eyes. Unfortunately, that was one of the problems with Harper.

“Hey babe,” Ty greeted Amanda when he reached her. He gave her a light peck on the lips. “What’s up?”

Amanda pressed into his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. “Harper’s obsessing about Kim again,” she sighed much to Harper’s indignation.

“I’m in enough trouble, Harp, give it a rest,” Ty whined. 

“So, what? She just gets away with everything?” Harper asked indignantly.

“No, definitely not! But right now? Back off, just until this blows over and my Dad calms down,” Amanda told her, “and Mr. G isn’t watching us like a hawk.” She indicated towards the building with her head where their principal stood watching over the amassed student body. “You know, pick your battles? Wait for the right time? Come on, we can take some time and plan something to really go at her with.”

“Yeah, besides, if I get in trouble one more time I can kiss going to college and any future plans I have of playing professional ball good-bye,” Ty said seriously. “I’m not taking that risk. You wanna fuck with Kim? Fine, but leave me out of it; at least until football season is over and I get my ride.”

“Some boyfriend you are. Kim sends out your girlfriend’s nudie picture and you’re all ‘yeah that’s cool. I just want my NFL contract, sorry Mandy. Fuck you.’ Great catch,” she snarled at Amanda.

“Back off,” Ty warned. “I said to wait or not to do it at school; I didn’t say not to do it at all. Kim’s not gonna get away with anything; she’ll get hers.” He looked at Amanda. “I promise she’ll pay, baby.”

“I know,” Amanda cooed back. “That bitch’ll get hers eventually.”

Unconvinced, Harper went back to glaring at Kim and her friends. “She’s always with those freaks like Cranston and that little wetback,” she slurred Trini. Unseen by Harper, Amanda and Ty winced at the slur. A few feet away, a few Latino students overheard and turned towards them along with their friends.

“Uh, Harp, could you be a… er… a little less,” Amanda swallowed and gave a sincere apologetic look at the other kids, “yeah I’m just gonna say it, less racist?”

“Screw you,” Harper dismissed her. “What would you rather I say? Beaner? Spic? What?”

“Her name will do fine,” Amanda spoke through her teeth. “First or last, just pick one so we don’t get our asses kicked.”

“Whatever,” Harper obliviously brushed her off.

“Yo, Fleming, watch your girl,” one called over to Ty, “before her mouth gets her into trouble.”

“Oooh no, that’s not my girl,” Ty put his hands up and took a step back with Amanda. “Harper’s her own person.”

Harper shot them both a dirty look and looked at the boy speaking to them. “Oh shut up, Benjamin. I’m not scared of you,” she shot back. However the moment Ben and his friends fully turned towards her, she dashed to hide behind Ty.

“Yeah, I thought so, Harper!” Ben taunted. “Tell your brothers Danny’s home from the Army and Ricky’s home visiting from college. We’d love to stop by and say ‘hi’.”

From where she was standing, Harper paled. The last thing she and her brothers needed was a visit from the Trejo brothers; they’d already laid her brothers out more than once for running their mouths. How the trio of Eagle Scouts, honor students, and Junior ROTC recruits kept their stellar reputations after kicking the shit out of her brothers, Harper didn’t understand and blamed it on Affirmative Action.

No one had the patience to explain to her why that was incorrect and it was really her ‘innocent’ brothers that were the problem.

Ben and his friends had a hearty laugh and walked away. Once they were out of earshot, Harper became mouthy again.

“He’d never dare lay a hand on me,” she declared haughtily. “I’d have him deported so fast…”

“Except he’s from Bakersfield and his parents are from New York,” Ty scoffed. “Seriously, I play football with these guys, Harp; stop starting shit, it just falls on me later.”

With one hand on her hip, Harper sneered at him. “What’s the matter, afraid of Ben and his brothers?”

“Yes, yes I am,” Ty said honestly. “I’m not a fucking moron. You know, it’s really easy for you to stand there and run your mouth when you don’t have to pay the consequences.” Pissed off, he looked at Amanda. “I can’t deal with her right now, wanna ditch and go somewhere?”

Without any hesitation, Amanda nodded and grasped the hand Ty held out. “Yeah, sure, let’s go.” 

“Are you serious?” Harper asked, her voice just short of being a screech. 

Both teens ignored her and together the pair walked away leaving Harper to stomp her foot in the grass. After a moment or two of looking around awkwardly, she spied the rest of the cheerleading team gathered about halfway down the track and headed that way.

Much to the disappointment of the other cheerleaders.

-

Across the field, while Jason, Trini, and Zack continued to horse around with one another, Billy noticed that Kim wasn’t as energetic as usual.

“Are you feeling alright?” he asked gently as the two of them watched Trini attempt to pick-pocket Jason on a dare from Zack. Jason had taken a break to talk to a pretty girl from his Sociology class and completely missed what his friend was doing behind his back. 

“I’m fine just tired,” Kim fibbed, hating herself for lying to him although the lie was minor; she was tired but she was still feeling down after her talk with her mother a week earlier. It was sticking with her and making her doubt most of her motivations and interactions with her friends, especially Trini.

One of the few bright spots she’d had since then was the night she’d spent at Trini’s helping the younger girl with her PTSD. She hadn’t been alone with her thoughts that night and as a result, Sunday had been a decent day after her nap. But between school, home, and training Trini hadn’t had a lot of time for one-on-one hangouts and the time spent together doing the other things wasn’t the same.

_ I gotta detox offa her or something if I’m gonna feel like this when I can’t hang out with her. Maybe Mom was right,  _ she pondered.  _ Better not to get to close to start with or else someone will end up hurt. _

“Are you sure? I’m not trying to push and I’m not the greatest at reading emotions but your energy level isn’t what I know it to be and I get anxious,” Billy explained. 

Kim smiled at him. “You’re not pushing at all, Billy; it’s ok. It’s just some stuff with my parents,” she confessed honestly, “and what happened with Ty and all them is throwing me off a little. I’ll bounce back like I always do.”

The quiet Blue Ranger nodded but Kim could feel his concerned gaze on her like he was trying to puzzle something out. It made her uneasy as if he could see through her flimsy lies to the truth which she was somewhat worried he could. 

“If you need to talk, I listen really well,” he finally said in a cheerful voice. A few feet away, Zack let out a loud laugh as Trini walked away with Jason’s wallet and the blonde teen never noticed.

“Slick, Crazy Girl!” the Black Ranger cheered. He turned to Kim and Billy. “And that’s why my wallet is on a chain.” 

The ear-to-ear grin on Trini’s face was infectious.

“I can’t believe you did that,” Kim said with a giggle and her hand over her eyes. 

“Where did you learn to do that?” Billy asked in awe. 

Trini blushed. “Uh… juvie lockup in Texas?” When all three of her friend’s mouths opened, she put her hand up. “Stop. No, you’re not getting a real explanation; let’s just say I was an epic idiot who got caught. Now I live here. Got it?”

Kim nodded although she was dying to know more; she knew she’d get the story out of her friend, eventually.

Billy nodded. It was none of his business how she learned it but now he wanted her to teach him how to do it. 

Zack twitched and bit his tongue. He tried, he really did but he just HAD to know. “But… but… no, come on! You can’t leave us hanging like that! It’s not right! Juvie? What did you do?”

“Nope,” Trini mimicked zipping her lips shut. Her facial expression was so smug Zack wanted to pinch her cheeks.

“Come on! Did you rob a bank? Steal an old lady’s walker? Take candy from a baby?” Zack started spitting out outrageous crimes. “Set fire to a puppy orphanage? Steal a Salvation Army kettle? Rip the tag off a mattress? Cross against the light?”

“Uh-uh,” Trini said simply and then smirked at Kim. “Not telling.”

“Noooooooooo…” Zack wailed and pretended to cry.

“Sorry, Anakin,” Trini teased, “and don’t bother Googling it or whatever, either. It was all dismissed and expunged so, neh,” she stuck her tongue out.

“Mature,” Kim snorted although she was happy to see Trini opening up more to the other Rangers and not just her. The younger girl was beautiful, smiling freely in the bright sunshine.

“Hey! Who took my wallet?” Jason yelled, upset. Holding the item up, Trini laughed and hid behind Kim.

“What are you…? I’m not… no, hide behind Zack,” Kim laughed, “I had nothing to do with this!” 

With her hands on Kim’s hips, Trini tried to use her as a shield as Jason stalked over. “Yeah, but Jason’ll just shove Zack outta the way; he’d never lay a hand on you.”

For a moment, Kim froze at the feel of Trini’s hands on her hips, but it only lasted a second before she put her hands down to cover Trini’s and hold them there. Then, it was Trini’s turn to lose her breath for a moment. 

True to what Trini said, Jason stopped in front of Kim with a cross look on his face but his friends could see the amusement sparkling in his blue eyes. “Excuse me, Kim, your little friend has something of mine.”

“Little?” Trini growled. “You’re never gonna get it back now.”

Putting her hands up in innocence, Kim shook her head. “I want to point out that I am completely innocent here. That said…” Suddenly, she crouched down and taking the hint, Trini hopped onto her back. “Bye!” 

Kim took off running with Trini on her back holding Jason’s wallet above her head and hollerin g at Zack. For the next few minutes, they played a game of keep-away before the former football player snatched his wallet out of the air after Zack tried to throw it to Kim. 

“Ha! Got it!” Jason cheered himself while Trini slid off Kim’s back. “Former All-State Quarterback for the win!”

When he slid the wallet back into his pocket without checking its contents first, a burst of affection hit Trini in the chest. While she’d never steal, especially from a friend and she knew that Jason trusted her, the easy way he just showed it made her feel that trust even deeper. It was one thing to her for her teammates to trust her in battle, it was another thing entirely for her friends to trust her so fully, without hesitation. For someone who had moved around as much as she had and who had trouble forming deep bonds with people, Trini was feeling fully accepted by Jason, Kim, Zack, and Billy in ways she never expected.

Seeing the thoughtful look on the Yellow Ranger’s face, Jason paused. “You ok?” he asked with a small smile still on his face. 

“Super,” Trini answered. 

Just then, Amanda and Ty walked by on their way off-campus. Trini tried to keep her face neutral since she knew that her regular default facial expression was angry-looking enough and she wasn’t going to let the idiots destroy her good mood. 

“Yo, Scott, you should watch who you call a friend if you expect to get picked up… oh wait, you destroyed your knee, didn’t you? Guess you belong with the rest of Kim’s loser friends after all,” Ty sneered.

Amanda kept an eye out for the principal; she did not need to get int trouble again. “Ty, don’t.” 

“You should listen to her, Fleming,” Jason tossed back, unbothered. “Worry about yourself and remember what Coach said- ‘you’re a decent player but you’ll never have the God-given talent that Jason Scott has’. Keep practicing, though.” Jason gave him a thumbs-up at the end. 

Anger flashed across the dark-haired boy’s face. “Fuck you. How’s it feel to go from an All-Star quarterback to a pathetic loser in 2 months?”

“You’d probably know better than him,” Trini threw in. Ty’s look darkened even further. 

“Don’t speak to me, runt,” he spat, “I don’t talk to your kind.”

“Excuse me?” Kim’s voice came from behind Jason and Trini. It was only the brush of her hand on Trini’s lower back that kept the Latina from ripping Ty’s face off. The touch immediately calmed her somewhat. “What the fuck does that mean?”

“I wasn’t talking to you either,” Ty sneered. “Take your little jalapeno whore and get lost.”

“You’re seriously gonna use that weak-ass insult?” Kim laughed. “God, you’re pathetic.”

Ty took half a step forward towards Kim before Trini put herself in between them.

“What?” Trini challenged. Being over a foot shorter than him didn’t bother her at all and wouldn’t have if she didn’t have superpowers, either. “You wanna try for 2 months detention?” 

“You don’t scare me,” Ty growled at her.

“I should.”

“Let’s go,” Amanda encouraged her boyfriend. “I don’t want to start this again and get into more trouble.” She tugged on his sleeve. “Look, Mr. G is looking over here; let’s just go. We can deal with Kimmy and her fellow losers later.”

Looking past Jason, Trini, and Kim, Ty could see Zack and Billy were coming closer. He nodded at Amanda. “Yeah, you’re right; these fucktards aren’t worth our time.” 

As the two started to pass the Rangers, Ty gave Jason a shoulder check but the blonde didn’t budge.

“Ow, fuck,” Ty rubbed his shoulder in surprise. “Damn, Scott, watch where you’re going.”

“Did you hit me? Cuz I didn’t feel anything,” Jason said with a shrug. 

Ty turned red and stalked away with Amanda in tow. 

“God, what an asshole,” Jason said with a shake of his head. “I really don’t miss having to deal with him.” 

“Has he always been such a prick?” Trini asked curiously.

“Pretty much,” the Red Ranger responded.

Trini considered this for a few moments before she tilted her head. “Did you have a problem with him before or were you just like, whatever about him?”

“Huh?” Jason was confused. “What do you mean?”

“Trini,” Kim hissed at her in an effort to stop this conversation from starting. She had an idea where Trini was going with her questions and it was making a bubble of panic stir in her chest. 

The younger girl was unimpressed. “What? It’s a valid question,” she pointed out. “I mean, you were on the football team with him for how long? You said he’s always been a dick so did you go along with it? Just not notice…”

“We weren’t like, buddy-buddy, Trini,” Jason defended. “He did his thing and I did mine. We didn’t hang out much.”

“Ah,” Trini said in disappointment. 

This time, Kim smacked her lightly on the shoulder. “Hey,” she said angrily, “he’s not responsible for the things his teammates do on their own time.” 

The two girls stared at each other intensely for a moment, neither willing to give. 

Trini felt it was a legitimate line of questioning since Ty and Jason had been teammates and presumably friends. It was important to her to know if Jason saw anything but choose to ignore it. She wanted to understand why Kim stayed with him for so long, if he was always an asshole, or if at some point he’d been a nice guy and just went bad.

It wasn’t like she planned to say anything outright about Kim and Ty’s relationship or what he was doing to harass her now. She wouldn’t betray Kim that way, ever and she thought Kim understood that. By the panic that had briefly bounced across the Ranger link, it was clear that Kim was afraid she would.

On her side, Kim didn’t want to do this; she didn’t want to have this discussion at all and most of all didn’t want to talk about it at school. Especially since people like Ty and Amanda tended to have ears everywhere. It was embarrassing and she didn’t want Jason or Zack or Billy knowing anything about how she was being treated by her old friends for what she’d done. It was her problem and her burden since she created the mess. It would be devastating to her for them to have any suspicions about how bad her relationship with Ty might have been. She thought Trini understood that. 

Her mind and heart fought with her. Her heart told her Trini wouldn’t betray her by telling their friends anything she’d said in confidence; her mind told her that she couldn’t trust anyone and that she didn’t deserve to have friends she could trust. It told her that she deserved to be betrayed since she’d betrayed Amanda so deeply. Karma and all that. It sent her into a mini-panic. 

The fiery looks between the two which made Jason, Zack, and Billy who had joined them feel like they were eavesdropping on a private conversation they had no business being privy to.

Uncomfortable with the way the two were becoming angry with each other, Jason ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Trini, I knew he was a jackass and not the greatest guy, sure.” His eyes lifted from Trini to Kim, a look in his eyes that Kim didn’t like and she was going to have some unpleasant words with Trini later about it. “Was there something else going on? Because I had no idea.”

The caring look on his face made Kim’s stomach burn with acid. Heartbroken that Jason came to that conclusion so quickly, she went back to the way she always used to deal with problems and brushed the whole thing off. Shrugging one shoulder, she broke eye contact with Trini and shot Jason a lopsided smile. 

“Nope. I mean, yeah, he was a terrible boyfriend and couldn’t remember my birthday to save his life but he wasn’t like, beating me or something. Just an epic asshole; end of story.” It was so easy for her to lie that she wondered why anyone would bother trusting her to start with.

But Trini somehow knew she was lying. It was hard to ignore the shot of indignant anger that shot across the link from her but Kim countered it with a blissful calm hoping the guys didn’t sense anything was amiss with her. If she ignored it, in her opinion, that should be the end of the subject. If she ignored it, it would go away.

When the Yellow Ranger opened her mouth to protest, Kim shot her another look at made her jaw snap shut and she looked away with a heavy sigh. No one said anything for a few long seconds.

“Wow, that was awkward and uncomfortable,” Zack clapped his hands together and made the other four jump. “Let’s move on! I say,” he threw one arm over each of the girl’s shoulders, “we ditch this place, get something to eat and hang out! Like, go to Jason’s and order pizza while we play video games or go set up the bonfire!”

“I’m not skipping. The last thing I need is for the office to call my mother,” Kim rolled her eyes in distaste, grateful for the topic change.

“Same,” Trini echoed.

“They’re going to send us home once the Fire Department gives them the ok,” Billy said with a shrug. “I overheard them saying they were going to call an inspector out to check the stability of the building in that area ASAP.”

“SWEET!” Zack cheered.

“Look, they’re letting us back in for our stuff,” Billy realized. “I took my stuff with me. You shouldn’t stop for your things during a fire alarm but since I knew nothing was on fire, I took the time to get by bookbag.” 

“I don’t carry a bag, I’m good!” Zack announced. 

“I have my stuff,” Kim lifted her bag off the ground.

“Same here,” Trini echoed. 

“Well, I’m stupid and left mine,” Jason laughed. “Give me a sec to go grab it and we’ll head out?”

“Yeah, sounds good. Trini and I will take my car,” Kim suggested. “I’m parked over there,” she jerked her thumb behind herself towards the closest parking lot.

“Shit, mine’s on the other side of the building. How about we meet up at my house?” Jason suggested.

“Sure. We’ll meet you there,” Kim agreed.

“Yeah,” Trini added. 

Once the boys had walked away and there weren’t that many other students near them, Kim rounded on Trini. Her expression was angry in a way Trini had never seen directed at her before. 

“What the fuck was that?” Kim demanded to know.

Frustrated that Kim hadn’t let her actually talk to Jason and not appreciating the tone of voice the taller girl was using, Trini sent back the same intensity she was getting. “What? With Jason? I was asking if he knew what a prick Ty was, like, before now. Why is that such an issue?”

“Because it’s none of your fucking business,” Kim spat. 

Trini visibly flinched but didn’t back down. “No? Why’s that?”

Kim was livid. “You overstepped a line, Trini. Do you understand that?” 

“For asking if he knew what a piece of shit Ty was? Cuz that’s all I was asking; you’re the one that’s making it into something more. I wasn’t gonna say anything about you or your relationship with him,” Trini bit back. “Or what he’s been doing to you since you broke up. Do you think I didn’t see the way he was trying to hurt you the other day? The way he dug his fingers into your shoulder…” she growled at the memory. 

“Didn’t hurt,” Kim said defiantly. 

“That time, not now since… yeah, it doesn’t hurt now but it used to. Fuck Kim,” Trini hissed indignantly, “he, no- they’ve been  _ abusing _ you! Right here at school and no one has fucking noticed ‘til me! It makes me wanna rip their heads off! But I haven’t told anyone because I promised you I wouldn’t. It kills me but I promised.”

Wary brown eyes glared at her full of disbelief and to Trini’s shock, distrust. 

“And Jason? I want to know if Jason was the type to overlook that shit because he's ‘one of the guys’ or if he was better than that. You know, since he’s our fucking leader and I gotta take orders or some shit from him. I’d like to know who the fuck I’m following to my possible death. It didn’t actually have everything to do with you, you know. I’m capable of having questions that aren’t about you.”

Kim went pale and her entire body seemed to deflate at that. “Oh.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything you told me not to; I’d never fucking do that and I thought you knew that. I thought you trusted me,” Trini went on unable to hide the hurt from her voice. 

“I do,” Kim said, her voice small. Trini watched the tall angry girl who confronted her collapse as Kim’s body language folded inward and she wrapped her arms around herself as if trying to give herself a hug. “I-I’m sorry. I panicked.”

Almost blindsided by a sense of whiplash from Kim’s sudden mood swing, Trini shook her head. “You trust me? It doesn’t feel like it.”

A pang of regret and a type of fear she couldn’t identify hit Trini in the chest for barely an instant before it was gone. Kim shut down her end of the link as far as she could until Trini could barely tell she was there. It was like suddenly having a door slammed shut in her face but that wasn’t the part that worried her, it was the fear Kim felt.

_ Wait, what is she afraid of? Me?  _ “What are you…?”

To her shock and horror, Kim’s bottom lip quivered and she let her short hair come forward to hide most of her face as she looked down, effectively hiding her face from her friend.

_ Whoa, whoa, whoa! She’s hiding! What is this? I’ve never seen her do this. What the fuck…? She was pissed as hell not 5 seconds ago but now she looks like I killed her kitten. _

“Sorry. I’m sorry. I’m gonna go,” the Pink Ranger said shamefully, backpedaling away from her friend. Retreating.

Instinct told her she shouldn’t let Kim go when her mood had shifted down so fast. Unable to ignore it, Trini reached out for her wrist when the older girl turned to go. “Wait…that’s not… Hey, we’re all supposed to go hang out…” 

Kim pulled her wrist from Trini’s light grip, rubbing it afterward like it hurt. The move made Trini glance down at her hand in confusion. Kim still flinched away from her occasionally when she moved too fast, out of habit from the treatment she was getting from her old friends, but this wasn’t like that. It was as if Trini’s touch burned. 

“Nah, I’m gonna skip hanging out and just go home. See ya.”

“Kim, we need to talk about this…”

Kim shook her head, looking up for a long moment before she looked at a point behind Trini but not at her. Her eyes were wet but no tears spilled over. “No. I mean, we don’t. I get it. I screwed up. I know you’re better than that. You’re not… I just… yeah, I panicked. I thought… uhh, doesn’t matter, nevermind. I don’t feel like hanging out. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Hey, no, Kim please don’t go, don’t…”  _ run _ , she wanted to say but she didn’t want to accuse Kim of fleeing the situation when it looked more like she didn’t know how to process it right. She’d gone from pissed off to panicked in seconds and now looked completely lost. “Don’t leave.”

The sniffle that came before Kim spoke rattled Trini down to her bones. Kim was crying; Kim rarely cried but  _ she _ had made Kim cry. 

“It’s ok. I’ll talk to you later, or here or training. Whatever,” Kim repeated trying to put some strength behind her words but they were still quiet and shaky.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Trini said sadly. “It’s ok…”

“You didn’t,” Kim told her. Wiping at her eyes, she finally looked at her friend. “I did this. I made myself cry. Like everything else, this is my fault; I did it to myself.”

“Kim…”

“No, I know I can trust you and I still did that, I still lashed out. God, I’m not gonna change am I?” She laughed hollowly at herself and the sound sent a chill down Trini’s spine. “Ah, what a shitshow, right? Fuck, Mom was right.”

“What?” Trini was getting completely lost. 

“Nothing. Doesn’t matter. It’s better if I go.” Kim turned and started to walk away. “Later, Trini.” 

Trini ran ahead of her and got in her way. “Whoa, you don’t get to just shut down and walk off like that.” It came across more confrontational than she intended. 

Kim bristled. “I just want to go home.”

“But…”

“Can you let me have a drop of what’s left of my dignity and let me do that?” Kim begged desperately. “Can you… can you wait ‘til later to do this and not do it here?”

“Wha…? Do what?”

Kim gave her a strange look; her eyes were wild, and terrified- of whatever it was she thought Trini was going to do. It knotted Trini up inside seeing how frightened Kim was, apparently of her. 

“Please,” Kim pleaded, “not where Harper and Aman…” Her throat closed as she fought off more tears. The muscles in her jaw jumped as she ground her teeth together trying not to outright sob. “Let me have this one thing; let me walk away. Let’s do this later.”

The truth hit Trini like a sack of bricks to the chest and she took a step back at her realization. _Oh!_ _She thinks I’m gonna tell her I don’t want to be friends anymore. Oh no… no, no, no, no that’s not it at all! _

Her breath caught. “Oh, no Kim, I’m not…”

“Don’t,” Kim warned sharply. Taking a deep breath, she wiped at her eyes and when she looked at Trini again, the tears were gone. Looking back at Trini was the fake ‘popular bitch’ mask Kim used to wear and Trini hated it, absolutely hated seeing Kim put it back on in order to deal with how she was feeling. If shutting off the empathic link wasn’t bad enough, now Kim was shutting down her actual emotions. That was something Trini never wanted Kim to feel she had to do with her.

_ She’s still in panic-mode. I gotta figure this out and calm her down.  _

“I’m not…” she started again.

“Doesn’t matter. It’s fine,” Kim said dismissively like she wasn’t bothered. “Tell the guys I didn’t feel well or whatever. Say what you want, I guess. Just have Jason text me when we have training again.”

_ Have Jason text? Why does she make it sound like we’re never gonna talk again or something? _

“Wait, what are you doing?” Trini asked a little roughly. 

Rolling her eyes, Kim’s expression turned annoyed. “I’m trying to go home. D’ya mind?”

“Yeah, yeah I do! That sounded like you were telling me to fuck-off and that’s not ok. You’re shutting me out and taking off!”

“Oh well, maybe you weren’t ‘in’ to start with!”

Visibly wincing, Trini blinked back tears. That stung. “What the fuck, Kim? That was mean.”

“Remember who you’re talking to,” Kim tossed back, the contempt she felt for herself was sharp and skated across Trini’s nerves like metal grinding on metal. 

On top of apparently thinking she’d foolishly ruined their friendship, Kim was turning against herself more and more. Trini didn’t want to think about what might happen if the spiral continued, especially if Kim was directing all her anger at herself. The other girl was impulsive and didn’t always think her actions all the way through. It was a situation that lent itself to bad outcomes.

“I mean, it’s what I’m best at.”

“Not with me,” Trini growled back. “We’re friends, remember? A team?” Kim’s snotty attitude faltered for half a second and Trini took that as her opening. “Yeah, we’re still friends, dude. Just cuz you pissed me off for a minute doesn’t mean I’m gonna, what? Throw you out like trash or something? Is that what you think?”

“Trash is kinda accurate,” Kim said sarcastically. “A step up, really.”

“No, you’re not gonna do that. You’re not gonna joke your way out of this or sit there and say shitty things about yourself,” Trini insisted. “Yeah, you screwed up and yeah, it hurt that you didn’t trust me. I thought you had more faith in me but…”

“Yeah, I’m gonna go,” Kim spun on her heel and stalked away.

“Madre de Dios…” Trini swore under her breath. “You didn’t let me finish. We’re still friends, Kim,” she said to her friend’s back. “I’m not gonna stop just because you hurt my feelings once. Is that how little you think of me?” 

Kim didn’t slow down so Trini asked the more relevant question. “Is that how little you think of yourself?” 

Spinning to face her, Kim was startled to see Trini was right behind her. “Can I go home, please?”

“Can I go with you?” the smaller girl countered. 

“What? No!”

“Then you can’t go.”

“OK, wow,” Kim said as she processed that, “that’s not how it works so, go away; I’m going home.”

“I am still your friend. That’s not gonna change cuz we fight like this. That’s not how friendship works. That’s not how I work!”

Kim stopped and stared hard at her but didn’t say anything. It was clear that she was gauging whether or not Trini was telling the truth.

“I’ll never tell the guys anything you tell me,” Trini started slowly, hoping Kim was really listening. “Ever. That’s like, one of the worst things I could do and I’m not like that. I’m not.”

“Ok, already, I get it…”

“No, you don’t,” Trini sighed sadly. This was putting her so far out of her own comfort zone. Emotional conversations weren’t her thing but she wasn’t going to let Kim walk away thinking she hated her. 

“You think I don’t wanna be friends anymore but you’re my best friend and yeah I was angry you thought I was gonna betray your trust but, I guess I can’t blame you. You’ve had shit for friends before me so I get why it’s not easy to trust. I’m the same way. But I’m learning to trust you like you’re learning with me. You made a mistake, that’s all this is. It’s fixable, it is fixed. Now you hopefully know you’re safe with me, I won’t betray you. I promise.”

After a moment, Kim stepped closer and leaned in. “Let… me… go… home,” she said slowly, putting a pause between each word. 

Trini’s heart sank. “Are you that desperate to get away from me?” she asked, defeated.

With a sigh, Kim nodded. “Right now? Yes.” Trini hung her head. “I’m… freaked out and you’re making it worse.” 

“Oh,” Trini whispered, “I didn’t mean to freak you out. I’m just…”

“Let me guess, worried?” Trini nodded. “You waste too much of your time…”

“Stop with that! It’s my time, let me waste it!”

“Whoa, ok then,” Kim huffed. “Look, I’m just gonna go home, get in my bed and stare at the ceiling while I wish I had some valium to calm me down and put me to sleep, ok?”

“I’m going with you.”

Kim started swearing vehemently in what Trini thought was either Gujarati or Hindi, she wasn’t sure which Kim spoke; possibly both. But the mask fell as did her attempt to hide how she felt.

“Get in the fucking car but don’t talk to me,” she finally snarled. “And you sleep in the guest room if you’re staying over. Fuck!” Stomping away, she made no effort to stop Trini from walking with her and continued to mutter under her breath. 

“Trying to get away from you so maybe I can calm the fuck down and think this through… gotta be a hardass and make it worse…”

“I’m not trying to…”

Kim shot her a look that shut her up. “Trinidad,” Kim began and Trini cringed at the use of her full name. “I haven’t had the best like, last week or so and this just piled on so I’m on the verge of like, an epic meltdown and I wanted to do it in private. Having you trying to crawl up my ass and make a home is making me feel claustrophobic and trapped and I just want to run, disappear…”

“That’s why I’m not letting you be alone,” Trini shot back, not with any malice, only with conviction and caring. “You’re amazing at shutting down the link but I’m getting like, escaping emotion bubbles? I guess? Just little blips but I feel how scared and upset you are and I’m not gonna abandon you when you feel so horrible.”

Kim came to a stop so suddenly that Trini tripped over her feet and nearly fell. The link ‘bubbled over’ again with a strange feeling she couldn’t identify but Trini realized she’d said something important.

Rerunning her words, she gasped out loud. “Is that it? Are you scared I’ll abandon you?” Kim shifted uncomfortably and folded inwards again. “I’m not going to. Sorry, Hart, but you’re kinda stuck with me, remember? We’re a package deal, now.” Kim looked at her mournfully. “I’m all in on that agreement, I don’t bail at the first bump. I mean, I was ride-or-die with you the first night…”

“And we died,” Kim pointed out. 

“Maybe almost but my point is still right. We’re gonna argue and fight. We’re teenage girls, it’s what we do but Kim, I swear to you that just because I get angry and maybe take off to cool down or something doesn’t mean I’m gonna abandon you or not be your friend anymore. I mean, are you gonna do that to me? Is that what you’ve been trying to do?”

“No!” Kim’s arms were wrapped tightly across her body again, protecting herself. “But I didn’t want you to tell me what a shit person I am in front of everyone, ok? It’d show them that they’re right, I’m just a piece of shit person who can’t keep a friend even if I try to change because I treat them like shit. Maybe I don’t deserve to have friends. Maybe I can’t change, who knows but I don’t want them to have anything else to come at me with. It’s hard enough already.”

“Ok, well, you don’t have to worry about any of that,” Trini tried to calm her. 

“Right,” Kim scoffed. “I can already hear Amanda running her mouth…”

“Fuck her! I don’t give a shit what she says. Let her talk, it won’t stop us from being friends.” 

This time, some of the stress on Kim’s face eased. 

Trini kept going, not wanting to lose any ground if she was finally getting through to her upset friend. “Hey, what just happened? It sucked but it’s not the end, ok? Kim, you know I don’t have a lot of friends,” she paused. “Yeah, I don’t really have any friends outside you and the guys, sure but that’s cuz I choose to be picky. I hate most people and I haven’t got time for their random bullshit. I can’t bring myself to care enough; it’s not worth my time. But I picked you…”

Kim tilted her head. “I think there’s more to it than that, like the team.”

“You can be on a team and not like your teammates or not want to hang out with them outside of training just like Jason said he did with Ty. I could’ve done that with you guys. But I didn’t want to; I don’t. I like being friends with all of you but I spend the most time with you. Because I want to.”

Kim nodded. Her body language unwound the more Trini spoke. 

“It’s just we gotta learn to trust each other and I don’t know about you but I can’t do that overnight.” Trini sighed when she realized that maybe she had been a little harsher than she needed when this started. Trust needed time to build and they’d only been friends for a little over a month. Of course, Kim was going to act poorly if she misinterpreted the situation but Trini hadn’t made it any better by being defensive and angry.

Trini knew she could be trusted but Kim still had to learn that.

“And neither can you. I’m sorry I got so upset, but I mean it when I promise something like not betraying someone. I’m loyal and proud and I mean what I say. I haven’t got the patience to blow smoke up your ass just to make you feel better.”

“I’m starting to see that,” Kim said softly. 

“My Dad says that your word is the one thing you should never like, lie about or break and I take that seriously.” Struck by an idea, Trini held up her right hand. “Ok, how’s this? I’ll give you my word.” 

Kim looked at her expectantly. 

“I, Trini Gomez, do solemnly swear to never betray your trust by telling anyone anything you tell me in confidence.” She paused for a moment. “Unless it’s something really serious that can’t be ignored like you’re gonna go murder someone. Then, I’ll tell like, Zack so we can watch.”

There had to be a loophole in there; she was beginning to see more and more reason to wonder about Kim’s horrible self-esteem and the effect it was having on her. If Kim ever reached a dangerous place, Trini had to give herself an out so she could get her help.

Tentatively, a small smile tugged at the left side of Kim’s lips. 

“I also promise to never abandon you…”

“No one can promise that,” Kim interrupted her. “Don’t make me promises you can’t keep.”

“I promise to never abandon you,” Trini repeated firmly. “If for some reason I have to leave or can’t be friends for a while, we will talk about it- even if we’re mad.”

“Pretty words,” Kim said.

“You gonna repeat them?” Trini asked, ignoring the slight dig. “Or what?”

Kim hesitated for a few moments, weighing her choice. The words of warning her mother gave her about getting too close to Trini echoed and clanged around her head, giving her a headache. She didn’t want to let Trini closer out of fear of not only hurting her but being hurt by her. If this afternoon was any indication, Trini already had too much sway over her emotions.

“I, Kimberly Hart, do solemnly swear to never betray your trust by telling anyone anything you tell me in confidence even if it’s about killing someone because you’ll probably have a good reason.”

Kim’s mind screamed at her that she was making a mistake but she ignored it in favor of the smile Trini gave her. Almost anything was worth that smile.

“True,” Trini smirked, relieved that Kim was coming around. “And the rest?”

“That’s… different.”

“You gonna abandon me, Hart? Leave me hanging?” her tone was light despite the seriousness.

“I… well, you just saw; I like to run, Trini, and that’s kinda textbook abandonment, running away. Like a coward.”

“No, that’s a panic response cuz I do it sometimes too. Fight or flight. I get it. Just promise to come back,” Trini suggested. “If you’re gonna take off and need some time, just promise me you’ll let me know you’re ok and you’ll come back. Does that work?”

Starting the promise was already a bad idea; adding the second part was even worse. If she were smart, she wouldn’t say it.

“Yeah, that works.”

Kim was never good at doing the ‘smart’ thing for herself.

It was hard to feel remorseful about though when Trini slipped her hand into hers for a moment and gave a squeeze before she let go. The thought of holding hands was tempting but the rumors would start before they even made it to her car. 

“You have to do the same thing, though,” she added quickly. 

Trini smiled. “Right! Ok, then it’s a deal. Now, let’s get you home. I’ll call my parents and tell them something and I’ll let the guys know we’re ditching them. Then, I’ll cook us something and you can do what you need to.”

“Oh! You’re still coming with me?” Kim asked in surprise. “I thought that was just to get me to talk.”

“No, not really. If you didn’t talk to me, I was still going. Even if I had to like, camp out on your balcony cuz I don’t want you to be alone right now… not that I don’t trust you or something but like you said, you’ve had a rough week or so. No one should be alone when they feel like crap.”

“You think I feel like crap?” Kim challenged. Secretly, she was beyond touched by the depth of caring Trini was giving so freely. It was new to her and while she enjoyed it, the unconditional affection left her a little unbalanced and confused. But those weren’t necessarily bad things.

“I know you do so stop fronting,” Trini replied and gave her a hip check as they walked. 

“Yeah, I do,” Kim sighed heavily. That confession told Trini more than the entire conversation had.

“You’re too hard on yourself,” she began as they reached Kim’s BMW.

“Can we stop for today? I’m like, completely drained, Trin,” Kim asked softly. “Can we not talk about anything deep or like, meaningful for the rest of today? I’m tired. I need to rest.”

Trini nodded in understanding. “Sure. What do you want to eat?”

Relieved, Kim told her the truth. “You’re the best.”

Trini smirked. “I know.”

  
  



	8. A Lull in the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TAGS: depression, poor coping skills
> 
> Kim and Trini head to Kim's house for a quiet afternoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> This picks up where the last ended. It's a short, light one. 
> 
> Enjoy

As she lay on Kim’s bed facing the older girl, Trini couldn’t help staring; even in sleep, Kim was beautiful and it seemed unfair. Hair messy, mouth open and slightly drooling, and bundled under her covers shouldn’t have made Kim look so adorable or made Trini’s heart flip-flop in her chest with affection. But it did. And the little noises she made as she slept were also cute but Trini tried to ignore that. She was starting to wonder, in this context, if there was anything Kim could do that she wouldn’t find cute. When a small snore broke loose and even that was cute, Trini nearly smacked herself.

_ This crush is impossible! Damn it. Such a lesbian cliche. I’ve got one female friend and I’m falling for her. Shame, Trini, shame on you.  _ Unfortunately, she couldn't bring herself to be too upset about it right now. Not while she had this chance to just look.

It wasn’t often that she could look at Kim for an extended moment without being caught or feeling like a weirdo. It was hard not to stare on a regular basis, especially during training when Kim insisted on not wearing much more than an expensive sports bra and workout shorts. It made her brain short-circuit and her heart speed up. She’d almost been caught with her mouth open just gawking at the Pink Ranger at different times, much to Zack’s amusement. At least here, Trini was safe from having Kim see her and having her crush on her exposed.

_ At least she seems to be sleeping ok.  _

After they’d gotten to the Hart home, Trini had set about finding them some lunch while Kim took a shower which she said might help calm her. Trini sent her parents a text about school letting out and where she was while she went through the cabinets and refrigerator to see what supplies she had. For someone who (to her knowledge) didn’t cook, Kim’s kitchen was well stocked.

She got a surprise when she opened the fridge and the first thing she noticed was a 6-pack of her favorite green tea sitting on the top shelf next to Kim’s favorite, root beer. It reminded her of the first night she’d spent at Kim’s when Kim had had her favorite ice cream on hand like it was nothing. There were little packs of the right kind of apple sauce and horseradish cheese that she liked in the fridge as well. Curious, she searched the other shelves and then the cabinets, finding more of her favorites foods that she didn’t remember actually mentioning she liked. 

_ Damn. She’s got all sorts of foods in here I like, some that she doesn’t. That’s gotta be on purpose. Wow, she’s paying attention to shit I never realized I talk about. _

Beside a box of Teddy Grahams, which Trini loved as a snack, sat her favorite cereals and huge box of Handi-snaks cheese and crackers. Those she knew Kim liked too but the taller girl usually gave hers to Trini and feigned being full. Trini knew it was a lie but she really liked those little crackers and cheese. Kim hated Froot-by-the foot but a box of varied flavors sat there as well; Trini loved to chew on those or licorice when doing her homework.

“And a box of Red Vines. Shit, Princess, you don’t miss much do you?” she said to herself. “This is the type of stuff that makes me wonder why anyone thinks you’re selfish. Either no one noticed or you hid this part of yourself really well.” Honestly, she figured it was option #2 although given how selfish Kim’s former friends were she could see both reasons being valid.

The appearance of her favorite foods gave Trini a new sense of acceptance. Obviously, Kim accepted her and they were friends but this went a step further; this was Kim’s house but she’d made room for Trini in the kitchen cabinets. It was beyond sweet and thoughtful.

Knowing Kim was likely to forget to eat if she wasn’t there, Trini tried to figure out what to cook. She didn’t want to cook a full meal of some sort since it was mid-afternoon and neither of them was in the mood for it. Settling on something light, Trini decided on grilled cheese with bacon sandwiches. When she noticed the eggs would expire in a few days, she threw some of them on as well, adding a little spice from the large spice rack and gave them a good scramble. 

By the time Kim reappeared fresh from the shower and in her pjs, Trini had cooked them each a few sandwiches and scrambled eggs.

“I could smell the bacon all the way upstairs in the bathroom,” Kim joked as she padded into the kitchen in her socks. She was make-up free and looked somewhat better than she did before the shower. Her hand rubbed over her stomach. “I didn’t realize how hungry I was.”

Trini smirked. “I’m surprised; your appetite is one thing we can usually count on.” Kim stuck her tongue out in response and took the plate she was offered. “Feeling any better?”

After she grabbed a root beer and green tea from the fridge, Kim sat down with a sigh. “Cleaner, yeah,” she shrugged. 

Trini sat down across from her and reached for a sandwich. “We agreed no deep conversations, didn’t we?” Kim nodded and took a big bite out of her sandwich. “Sorry. You look a little better though.”

Kim hummed in response. 

“Thanks for having my tea in the fridge,” Trini went in another direction. “And I saw some of the other things you’ve picked up for me. I appreciate it and I’ll pay you back, I swear.”

“It’s not like that,” Kim started tiredly. “I wanted to have things you liked so you’d have snacks when you came over. And I picked up some stuff the guys like too.”

“I know but…”

“And if you’re gonna cook something for me once in a while, like this, then it’s only fair really,” Kim finished.

Trini eyed her for a moment before giving her a small smile. “OK. Well, we’ll figure it out another time.” Kim shot her a grateful look. “What do you want to do after this?”

“Sleep,” Kim said honestly. 

“I can get down with that,” Trini said after a sip of tea. 

Kim looked at her in surprise. “Y-you’re staying?” There was a note of hopefulness in the question. 

“Yeah,” the Latina responded easily, “I meant what I said about keeping you company. I mean, if you don’t want to talk or you wanna take your nap by yourself, that’s fine. I’ll be around here somewhere. It’s not like there’s a lack of things to do in your house. I can amuse myself, don’t worry.” 

Thankfully, her comment got the desired smile in response she was looking for.

“True. You’re welcome to all of it but please don’t go swimming without me being awake,” Kim asked softly. “Just in case.”

“Deal,” Trini agreed and reached for another sandwich. “I don’t have a suit anyway.” 

Kim opened her mouth and then closed it with a shake of her head. Instead of speaking, she concentrated on her scrambled eggs.

Although she was curious, Trini let it go.

They were quiet after that until Trini was about halfway through her third sandwich.

“You can nap with me if you want,” Kim offered. Her voice was soft, shy. “I mean, I know it’s barely passed noon but I’m so tired…”

“A nap sounds awesome,” Trini stopped her from having to explain. 

“I don’t know how well I’ll sleep, though,” Kim said with a sad sigh. “There’s so much going on in my head; I might have nightmares or something and kick you.”

“I’ll survive if you do. It’s good that I’m here,” Trini said. When Kim looked at her in confusion, she gave her a wry smile. “Look, if you’re gonna show up with donuts and cuddles when I can’t sleep then I can lay down with you and take a nap and hope that helps you sleep.”

To her surprise, Kim’s shoulders sagged. “Thank you,” the brunette said. It looked like some great weight had suddenly left her shoulders. 

Trini tilted her head. “Are you having a lot of trouble sleeping? Cuz I can come over more…”

“It’s ok,” Kim brushed it off. “It’s just been this week.”

It was a lie and Trini saw right through it. 

“Kim…”

“Besides, I think if you spend even more time with me, you’ll have no time for anyone else.”

Trini snorted. “I doubt that.”  _ My Mom would probably agree, though. Screw her. _

A huge yawn escaped Kim and she blushed. “Sorry. Emotional stuff just wipes me out.”

“Me too. You full?” Trini got up and started to clear the table.

Kim nodded. “Yeah. Thanks again for cooking for me. I probably would’ve forgotten to eat otherwise.”

_ I know,  _ Trini said to herself. 

After they cleaned up, they headed upstairs. 

“I’ve got some clothes that you can wear to sleep in,” Kim suggested. “The pants might be a little long on you, though.”

“Is that a short joke, Hart?” 

Kim smiled at her. It was a tired but genuine smile that reached her chocolate eyes. “It wasn’t going to be but it can be.”

“Quit while you’re ahead, Stretch,” Trini teased. It was a relief to see Kim in better spirits and the food probably had something to do with it. For someone as fond of eating as Kim was it was strange that she skipped meals as often as Trini suspected. 

_ I think she orders in all the time; I never see any dirty dishes in the sink and stuff. Then again, I rarely see any take-out trash in the house either.  _

The house was kept nearly spotless in case Kim’s parents came home unexpectedly. The only part of the house that actually looked lived in was Kim’s hallway upstairs. Pictures hung on the wall there while there were few others in the house and the carpet showed wear patterns of being walked on. Kim’s room was the one place in the house that wasn’t clean on a regular basis but the mess was usually the teen’s clothing and school supplies scattered around.

It had to be lonely no matter how much Kim protested that it wasn’t.

“I’m sorry, did you say something from way down there?” Kim cheeked.

“Keep it up and you can cuddle yourself.”

Kim pouted playfully. “That’s no fun. I like cuddling you.” A dusty pink blush ran up her cheeks after she spoke. 

It was reflected on Trini’s face.

“Yeah well, you’re lucky I tolerate your clinginess,” she responded with a smirk, amazed that she had a comeback at all. And that her voice stayed normal and didn’t dip. 

“Right, cuz you’re not snuggly at  _ all _ ,” Kim playfully commented back. 

“I’m not,” Trini said knowingly. “Badasses like me only cuddle occasionally. Sometimes. Once in a while and under duress.” Her hazel eyes twinkled at Kim. “Don’t get used to it.”  _ I’d like to though. _

Handing the clothes she’d gathered over, Kim tipped her head in the direction of the bathroom. “Go get changed, you totally not cuddly badass.”

Once they crawled into the bed, they turned and ended up facing each other instead of in a spooning position like the other times they shared the space. It was a bit intimidating to maintain eye contact for very long but Trini didn’t dare look away when Kim looked as vulnerable as she did at the moment.

“Can I ask a, I guess, weird question?” Kim asked.

Despite the urge to make a snarky remark, just for fun, Trini nodded and answered simply, “Of course.”

“Can I… God this is embarrassing,” Kim groaned and frowned. 

“What is it?”

Kim closed her eyes, unable to look at Trini as she asked, “Instead of spooning like we usually do, can I… ?” she trailed off.

It was sad that Kim couldn’t voice what she wanted but what she was trying to say was clear;  _ I need to be held _ . Trini opened her arms without a word. Kim let out a sigh of relief and curled into the smaller teen’s front, grabbing hold of her shirt and tucking her head under Trini’s.

“This ok?” Kim asked. 

Trini nodded. “Totally.” She wrapped her arms around her friend protectively and ran her hands up and down Kim’s back in what she hoped was a soothing manner. 

Telling her treacherous heart to slow down before Kim noticed it was pounding, Trini concentrated on being there for Kim, in the moment and not getting carried away by her feelings. It was difficult when Kim’s lithe body felt so right in her arms. 

Unseen by her friend, Trini rolled her eyes at herself.  _ Get a grip. Just cuz she seems to fit so well in my arms doesn’t mean anything. Stop letting your feelings cloud everything, Trini! _

“I’m sorry about this morning,” Kim apologized a little while later.

“It’s ok, we dealt with it. You don’t have to keep apologizing or feeling bad about it,” Trini absolved her. 

“Still, I’m sorry.” Kim’s breath tickled Trini’s collarbone. “I’ll be better, I promise.”

“We both will, Kim. Neither of us was totally right there.” 

Kim nodded against her chest. “Yeah, ok.” She didn’t sound convinced. 

Traces of guilt spiked along their link but Trini decided to not acknowledge it. Instead, she gave Kim a hug. “Hey, it’s naptime, right? Everything else can wait. Just rest.” 

Kim hummed from where she was pressed against Trini’s shirt and not long after, fell asleep as did Trini a few minutes later.

It was about 2 hours later when she awoke and took a few moments to gaze at Kim’s sleeping form which had moved a little bit away but was still facing Trini. Her right hand still had a light grip on Trini’s shirt so she hadn’t gone far. Aside from a few twitches, Kim was sleeping soundly with no nightmares from what Trini could tell. 

Having dozed off again, her eyes popped open when she heard a small whimper. A frown had found its way to Kim’s face as she slept.

Trini gently pushed some hair away from the older girl’s face. Kim mumbled in response.

“What?” Trini asked in a whisper in case Kim was still soundly asleep.

“Too far away,” Kim told her with one eye barely open. Weakly tugging on Trini’s shirt, she tried to fix the problem and grunted when the Latina didn’t move. “!” 

“Easy,” Trini chuckled and moved closer. “I’m right here, go back to sleep.” 

With her head tucked under Trini’s chin again, Kim let out a sigh and a mumbled “better”. 

“Glad I could help.” 

  
  



	9. Mothers and Daughters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TAGS: Swearing, teasing, homophobia, burping, angst, mental illness, bad mother-daughter relationships, depression.
> 
> The Rangers join community service efforts to rebuild the town but something is still off with Kim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To thank you for the warm reception and your interactions with me, please enjoy a bonus chapter.  
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy Hanukkah, and whatever else you may celebrate.  
Have a Happy and Safe New Year!
> 
> And all aboard the angst train!

Since there was so much damage around town, the school offered a new program for students to trade a Saturday detention for every five-hours of time spent after school working to help clear rubble, to rebuild, repaint, or otherwise assist with the clean-up of the city. There was paperwork that had to be completed and verified but the Rangers were all for the program so that they could clear their Saturday mornings for better things such as sleeping in (Zack, Trini, and Kim) or family (Jason and Billy). It also counted as community service hours and could go on their transcripts for college applications. Not that many of them were considering college since protecting the Zeo Crystal was their number one priority. Still, it was a way to keep certain parents off their backs (Kim and Trini’s). 

“Anyone seen Kim?” Jason wondered as they worked to construct a wall frame for a new gazebo in the park. The last one had been destroyed by Putties and the left foot of the T-Rex Zord. Jason felt a bit guilty. “She was supposed to be here with us. Did she text anyone?”

“Yeah, shouldn’t the Princess be out here getting her hands dirty with the rest of us?” Zack shook out his hand, having hammered his thumb for the second time. He glared at the hammer like it was the tool’s fault.

“She texted me. She’s busy,” Trini said. 

“Busy? Hmmm, convenient,” Zack joked. “You know since the rest of us are ass deep in sawdust.”

“Kim wouldn’t do that,” Billy said simply and firmly.

“He’s right,” Trini agreed. 

“Ahh, I see,” Zack hummed. He stroked his chin pretending to contemplate the excuse. “Hmmm, busy you say?’

“Her Mom’s in town and they’re having some sort of day together, cut her a fucking break,” Trini snapped. 

The foreman helping them with the job was treating her like she was around 10 and she was about ready to ‘accidentally’ use the nail gun to nail his foot to the nice new floor she and Billy were finishing up. It was irritating her to no end and Zack’s joking was hitting her the wrong way.

“Damn, Crazy Girl, take it easy!” Zack guffawed. “Don’t be so defensive; I’m only playing.”

“Shut it, jackass,” she warned. “Go play with yourself.” Zack blushed. “Leave Kim out of it.”

“I get you,” Zack smiled. “Little Pocket Princess Protector.”

“Dude, fuck you,” Trini growled. “You just call me little? Cuz I’ve got a power tool that shoots nails at like, 1,400 feet per second. I doubt even your reflexes are that fast.”

“Easy, whoa,” Zack put his hands up. “Message received.” He was still amused by himself. 

Trini glared to drive her point home and then went back to what she was doing. “Someone needs to watch out for her since she won’t do it herself,” she muttered to herself, unhappy. The sound of her voice was lost under the running of a nearby miter saw. 

The fact that her mood was always darker when Kim wasn’t around wasn’t lost on any of the three boys. 

“I bet she’s happy to get to spend time with her Mom,” Billy piped up. “She doesn’t talk about her much. Or at all, actually. Her parents are doctors, right?”

“Yeah, surgeons,” Trini confirmed. “That’s about all I know.” _ Since they’re apparently never home and she’s constantly alone. _

“I saw them the afternoon she cut her hair at detention,” Jason remembered. “They were pissed. Yelled at her right there in the parking lot. Made a whole big scene.”

“Lovely,” Zack said sarcastically. He hated parents like that who ridiculed or embarrassed their kids in public. Life was hard enough without that sort of public humiliation. “I gotta be honest- I like the short hair better.” He looked at Trini and blanched. “Oh her, I mean! Yours looks great!”

“I know what you meant, jerk,” she rolled her eyes. “And I agree the short hair works for her. My Mom would kick me out if I cut mine; she already hates that I dye and braid it the way I do.”

It was the source of many bitter blowouts between the two, that and her wardrobe. June Gomez hated the ombre to Trini’s hair; “why would you ruin your hair? It’s so beautiful when you wear it naturally” and “only strippers color their hair that way” were two of her mother’s favorite comments. The braids were as close to the ‘short on the side’ haircut Trini wanted but couldn’t get. And it gave her an easy out when her mother claimed she never did anything with her hair. “I braid it” usually shut the woman up. 

June had an image in her mind of how her daughter should look and act but Trini refused to be something she wasn’t. It drove June up the wall and she saw it as her daughter acting out immaturely. Trini saw it as taking a stand for herself and wasn’t going to change just to make her mother happy. 

It wasn’t worth sacrificing her own happiness, in Trini’s opinion especially since even if she looked the part, she’d never be the ‘good, straight daughter’ her mother wanted. 

Trini was ok with that.

“The way a person wears their hair is another way they express themselves, especially women,” Billy pointed out thoughtfully. “You shouldn’t be shamed for it.”

“Amen, Billy,” Jason agreed.

“Yeah, Mama disagrees,” Trini sighed. “According to her, ‘a girl should look like a proper girl and a boy a proper boy’.”

“What is it, 1950?” Zack asked dryly. “Like, what does she want? Military haircuts and bee-hives?”

“Probably,” Trini snorted.

“I’m sorry,” Billy said genuinely. “That must be stifling.” 

Trini nodded. “It’s definitely not pleasant.”

“I’m not paying you to chatter!” the foreman yelled. “Shut up!”

“You’re not paying us at all so cram it!” Trini yelled back at him. “Pendejo,” she added to herself. 

“What did you say?”

Smirking because she was in the mood for a good fight, Trini pushed herself onto her feet. “You heard me! We’re in high school, not workers on site so back off!” she yelled back. “I can see at least three OSHA violations from where I’m standing. Want me to call?” The foreman looked around nervously and then retreated. 

“Niiice,” Zack laughed.

“Don’t fuck with the kid whose Dad is in construction, fucktard,” Trini smiled triumphantly. “I’ve already fixed two violations that could have hurt someone out here. I’m surprised no one _ has _ been hurt yet. I’m calling later anyway.”

“The ‘no safety harness in the cherry picker’?” Jason asked with a knowing look.

“That and the safety features on the nail gun have been screwed with,” she added. Jason shook his head in disgust. “My Dad would fire this dude and then make sure no one worked with him ever again.”

“You should see if your Dad wants this job; I know he’d do a better job restoring shit than this crew we’re shadowing,” Zack suggested.

“He got hired, well his company did, to work on the bridges and overpasses that were damaged so he’s got a lot going on,” Trini explained. “I think he’s helping with the far side of the marina too.”

“That’s cool,” Jason said. 

“Yeah, I think Kim’s parents donated a ton of money towards repairing the pier,” Trini went on. “And that’s going to make the repairs easier because he doesn’t have to worry about funding like the rest of the city does.”

The town was functionally broke and unknown to the Rangers, those in charge had been contacting people like Kim’s parents to beg for money. When the Harts donated, the city asked for more and almost lost the original donation with their greediness. Now, city officials were bending over backward to make Ted and Maddy Hart happy, even going so far as to name the new pier Hart Pier despite the fact that they didn’t care for that honor.

“She seems sad lately,” Billy said, a little sad himself. “Kim, I mean. Sadder than usual.”

The conversation switched back. “I dunno. I think she’s just tired,” Jason said. “She’s constantly doing something, even when she’s not with us.”

_ Huh. Not as much as you seem to think. _ “Maybe. I know she’s not getting much sleep,” Trini told them. 

Zack’s eyebrows leaped up. “Oh no? Been spending the night with her again? Bwow chicka wow wow.” He kept his tone light and nowhere near anything remotely lecherous. 

Trini rolled her eyes and aimed the nail gun loosely but not really in his direction but the threat was clear. “I didn’t quite hear that, what?”

“Yo, Trin, you know I’m kidding,” the Asian teen defended. He was respecting Trini’s wishes to not tease her about Kim/being gay but he didn’t want her to get too oversensitive and basically accidentally profess the obvious and painful crush she had to the other girl. She had to relax. “I spent last night with Jason at Billy’s playing video games, same thing. No bow chicka wow wow over there either.” 

“I don’t feel that way about you, Zack, sorry,” Billy said gently. “I don’t really like the entire idea.” He shuddered. ‘The exchange of bodily fluids is so… unsanitary.”

“But fun!” Zack announced. 

“Yeah, I’m not attracted to you guys,” Jason said with a smirk. “Like, at all. I mean, yeah, you’re not bad looking for guys but I prefer blondes.”

“Ohhhhhhh!” Zack hollered. “Jay, you bi?” He shot a look at Trini. “Shit, am I not supposed to ask?”

“That’s on Jason,” Trini said. _ I need to be less defensive about his jokes or he’ll figure out I like her. _“I’m not the gay PC police for everyone.”

Jason laughed. “No, man, but your face! Were you surprised or excited? I couldn’t tell.”

“Maybe a little of both!” Zack teased back. “Ha! You should see _ your _ face! What is that color? Puce?”

Jason threw a cloth towel at his friend but he was still smiling. “I give. You win.” Zack cheered himself. “Yeah, we were having a marathon Smash Bros. session trying to see who could get the longest winning streak.”

“Zack fell asleep,” Billy accused. “I was winning.”

“You still won,” Jason pointed out. “You beat me!”

“By default. I like beating Zack correctly,” Billy pouted “when he’s awake to see it.” His eyes twinkled as he fought, unsuccessfully, not to smile. 

“Did you… Jason, did he just burn me?” 

Jason was laughing too hard to answer.

“I think we’re a bad influence on him,” Trini said in mock sadness. Billy grinned brightly at her. 

-

Later that afternoon, she rang the doorbell at Kim’s and waited. A few long moments later, it swung open to show Kim looking at her with a bit of surprise.

“The front door? No window? Really?” she smiled slightly but it didn’t seem to reach her eyes.

“I thought it would be better to use manners since your mother’s here,” Trini explained. “How’s the visit going?”

Kim leaned in the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest. “She ran to pick up dinner. What’s up?”

Trini frowned. Kim’s usually shining brown eyes didn’t seem right; they were distant and slightly cold. She had on no makeup at all and her hair was unstyled, possibly not combed and looked like she’d recently been asleep. Granted, she’d seen Kim without makeup but mid-day was a little odd to her. Even when they were training, for some reason Kim insisted on maintaining a ‘minimum face’. Which Trini felt was a waste of time and money now that she’d seen how naturally beautiful the other girl was, but that was her crush talking and she told it to shut up.

“Nothing. I just came to say ‘hi’ and see how your day was going,” she said, wondering why Kim was already in her PJs at 6 pm at night. “We built a new gazebo in the park today and missed you.”

“Cool. Sorry I missed it.” She didn’t sound remotely sorry. 

Some days Kim reminded Trini more of the feral kitten that people accused her of being; wary, quick to lash out and even quicker to retreat and hide when confronted. Judging from her body language, today was definitely one of those days. Trini wondered if it had anything to do with spending time with her mother.

With the way Kim was emotionally touchy recently and would shut down on her or panic when pressed, Trini was reluctant to pry too much for fear that she’d drive the other girl further away. She was desperately trying to prevent that from happening. The past week or so had been hard on the older girl and it bothered Trini that Kim lacked any real support system outside of what she was trying to do to help. 

_ Maybe that’s why her Mom’s here? _ she wondered

There was something at the edge of her awareness going on with her best friend that she couldn’t quite pin down and it was like an itch at the base of her skull, worrying her. Nagging at her.

“Doing anything after dinner?”

An angry look passed over Kim’s face for an instant before it was gone but Trini caught it and it confused her. 

“Uhm, me and Mom are gonna watch some Bollywood movies and eat take out in our pajamas,” Kim explained. Her voice was flat and bored, unlike the way the older girl usually sounded. The natural cadence and rhythm to her voice was missing or rang hollow. While Trini didn’t know much about what her relationship with her mother was like, and what she did know made it seem strained, this didn’t seem right at all.

“Hey, is everything ok?”

“Yeah,” Kim sighed with annoyance to it. “Why do you always think there’s something wrong with me? Or that you can help if there is?”

“Huh?” Trini didn’t like this attitude; it was ‘mean girl Kim™’, someone she thought was gone, especially after their little argument earlier in the week. “Cuz I care? What a shit thing to say.”

A look of regret covered Kim’s face. “Shit. Sorry, being around my Mom makes me snarky,” she apologized, running a hand through unusually unkempt hair. With a start, Trini realized Kim hadn’t showered. “I can’t mouth off to her so I take my shots at the nearest available target. I’m a shit human being. Sorry.”

“You’re not but I didn’t mean to upset you, either. You’re busy so I’ll just go.” Unable to keep the hint of disappointment from her voice, Trini turned away. It wasn’t that she wanted to be invited to spend time with Kim and her mother; she knew that time with Mrs. Hart was rare for Kim. She just wanted a few minutes to talk but Kim was being standoffish and it hurt her feelings. 

It was frustrating and she hated that Kim had that kind of power over her, that she could wound her emotions with such little effort. The problem was that no matter how she tried to build up her walls around the other girl, they just seemed to crumble whenever cupid bow lips truly smiled at her or that full laugh cascaded over her like a refreshing waterfall.

_ Oh, I have it fucking bad! This poetic shit needs to stop. Wish I’d never taken that English class that focused on poetry and imagery. _

Kim reached out and grasped her lightly by the elbow to stop her. “Hey, wait. Look, trust me, I wish you could stay cuz I’d rather spend time with you, any day of the week. But Mom likes these to be ‘our’ days since they never happen.” Her voice was soft and sincere, her eyes warming up and focusing _ on _ Trini instead of _ through _ her. 

Trini turned back towards her. “I can understand that. I just missed you today.”

Kim’s face softened and it was all the reassurance Trini needed that she wasn’t upset with her in some way. “I missed you too but I might be around tomorrow. Hopefully.”

“Hopefully?”

“Can never tell with that woman,” Kim complained. “She could be here an hour or a month. You think I’m impulsive? I got it from somewhere and it sure as hell wasn’t my Dad.”

“No?” Trini didn’t know much about either of Kim’s parents; she never spoke of them.

“God no! That man plans out his clothes a week in advance right down to his freaking socks,” the brunette laughed although it was a bit tight and forced. “Nope, Ba… I mean Mom’s the one that drags him places at the last minute when they’re together.” Her eyes looked out towards the road. “She’ll probably be back soon.”

Trini could take a hint and felt better about leaving this time. “All right, I’ll get going. Call me later if you’re not busy.” She gave Kim a hug. Kim hugged back a bit stiffly, but tightly.

“If I can. Thanks for coming by. I missed you too.” 

-

Sunday afternoon, Trini sent a text to Kim to see if she wanted to do something but the older girl was still busy with her mother. To Trini’s relief, Kim’s messages were more lighthearted than the mood she’d been in the evening before. Her mother was still around and they were catching up but it didn’t sound like the visit (and it was disgusting to Trini that it was only a visit) was going badly. 

Unwilling to be stuck at home, she was throwing together a bag of supplies to head out to her meditation rock when her mother stopped her.

“What are you packing for?” 

“I’m gonna go hiking,” Trini responded, missing the suspicious expression on her mother’s face since her back was turned.

“Where?” 

Rolling her eyes, Trini tried to keep her tone even. It was annoying that every time she moved her mother had questions for her. It didn’t matter what she was doing, whether it was something like this, getting a glass of water in the kitchen, or going to the store; June always had something to critique, question, or say about it.

“Where I usually go,” the teen said flatly. 

“I don’t like you hanging out at the mine. It’s not safe.”

_ It is as long as Billy isn’t using explosives to look for something. _“I go there all the time, have since we moved here. It’s safe,” Trini argued.

“That monster came from the mines,” her mother pointed out.

“All the gold is gone and so is that witch,” Trini covered. “I’ll be fine like I always am. You’re being overprotective.”

She heard her mother scoff angrily. 

“Look at me when you speak to me,” June insisted. 

Biting down on her tongue to keep a sharp remark from flying out, Trini schooled her face into her ‘resting Trini face’ and turned around.

“Ok.” 

The look of satisfaction on her face irritated Trini to no end. 

“Who will be there with you?” her mother continued with her questions.

“No one, they’re all busy,” Trini said honestly. It was true; Jason was helping his mother host a party for his sister Pearl’s Girl Scout Troop, Billy had an afternoon church function with his Mom, and Zack was taking his mother to a friend’s house to play cards and chess. It was something he loved doing with her and Trini wasn’t going to try and interrupt it.

For a moment, she was struck by how her friends, even Kim, were spending quality time with their mothers but hers was standing in her doorway with her hand on her hip eyeing her like she was an alien that she couldn’t figure out. 

Which was somewhat ironic given Trini’s new alien-enhanced physiology. 

_ She’s covered ‘what, where’, and ‘who’. We’ve got ‘when, why’, and ‘how’ to go. _

“How long do you think you’ll be?”

_ Ding, there’s ‘how’. _ “I dunno,” Trini shrugged. 

June scowled. “Dinner is at 5:30 and you have to be back in time to shower and get dressed for it.”

Instantly suspicious, Trini frowned at her. “Why?” 

A small nagging suspicion was growing stronger and if her mother said what she thought she was going to, this was going to be a hell of an argument. 

“Because I said so,” came the snotty reply. 

“No, “ Trini started slowly, “I’m not Mateo or Yeyo, that doesn’t work on me. You’ve got something planned and I wanna know what it is.” Her voice darkened. “I’m not letting you ambush me again like you did over the summer. I’m not.”

The neighborhood Fourth of July picnic was something Trini enjoyed but last summer her mother had surprised her by introducing her to Duncan, the ‘nice, sweet’ son of a work friend. It had clearly been a set-up that Duncan was in on but Trini was clueless about. He was a nice guy but she had no plans to go on the apparently preplanned movie date her mother had arranged. Instead, she’d politely said ‘no thanks’ to Duncan and told both him, her mother and her mother’s friend that she was gay and going home.

She was grounded for 2 weeks that time and June never mentioned Duncan ever again. Trini wasn’t sure that her mother was even still friends with Duncan’s Mom after the incident, not that she cared. It had been incredibly hurtful and she resented her mother for doing it. June had hidden her plan from Miguel so he was blindsided by it along with Trini but later that evening she overheard her parents arguing about it. 

As much as she hated having her parents arguing over her, it was a bit of a change for her father to side with her. He wasn’t the best when it came to standing up for her or keeping June from making snide comments about her ‘sexual preference’ even after Trini threatened to shave her head if her mother ever called it that again. During that fight, he’d hidden a smirk and left the room leaving the two to glare at one another until Trini was grounded for a week for being ‘difficult’. 

Miguel’s inaction and what Trini felt was either laziness or taking June’s side in most arguments had driven a wedge between them as well. 

“Whatever you’ve got planned, you can just forget about it.”

In response to her accusation, June flipped her hair and looked away. Trini glared; she knew her mother’s ‘tells’ and those were the ones that meant June was set in her plan, was feeling superior and not a small amount smug.

“Bridget Norris is coming over for dinner with her son Sean…”

“No,” Trini said angrily, throwing her backpack over one shoulder and grabbing her jacket off the back of her chair. “I’m not doing this with you again; I don’t want to meet Sean…”

“Trinidad, it’s time you started meeting some young men around your age,” June said in an overly sweet voice. It made Trini angrier. 

“Just men? No girls?” she challenged. “And I already have 3 really great guy friends.”

June looked thoughtful. “You haven’t shown any sort of interest in them and you’re at the age where it’s natural to start dating.”

“Of course I haven’t shown interest; I only like women and they’re like brothers to me.” She shivered. “Ew, that’s just gross.”

Ignoring the comment about liking woman, June pressed on. “You need to get out more, meet new people outside your little clique. You need to be more social and would it kill you to wear something made for your body type? Something from the women’s section like what I’ve picked out for you to wear.”

“It might,” Trini grumbled. 

Again, June ignored her. “I think you’ll like Sean. He’s a wonderful young man, second in his class at the Maritime Academy, speaks 2 languages and is learning a third. Isn’t it interesting that he went there instead of a regular public high school? He’s got such a future planned…”

“I don’t care,” Trini tossed out. “Like, at all. I mean, good for him but he needs to find a different girl to let his mother set him up with. You know, like a straight one that’s not completely grossed out and turned off by the thought of dating him or any other guy. He should start there.” 

The sweet mood her mother was trying to portray immediately fizzled out as the woman’s face flushed red with anger and embarrassment. “I’m not putting up with this behavior anymore. You will be here for dinner, dressed nicely…”

“No, I won’t,” Trini insisted. “I’m not gonna let you parade me around like I’m something I’m not. Nope, not gonna do it.”

“If you aren’t here, you’ll be grounded…”

“Again?” Trini scoffed, beyond caring at this point. She was hurt but she wasn’t going to be used like this or forced into acting according to her mother’s script. “I can’t believe you did this to me, again. You swore you wouldn’t- you swore to me and Dad you wouldn’t do this.”

“I’m trying to do what’s best for you,” June said indignantly. “Your Father will understand that even if you’re too young to.”

“By lying and breaking your word, your promise. Shit, I just talked to Kim about this…” Immediately, Trini knew that mentioning her one female friend was the wrong thing to do.

“Is _ she _ going to be where you’re going?” June asked in disgust. 

“Wow, can you at least pretend you don’t hate me?” Trini shot out, upset. June paused and looked surprised. “No, Kim is busy with her mother like all the guys are too. It’s amazing, almost like their mothers enjoy having them around.”

A shocked and sad expression covered the older woman’s face. “Trini, I enjoy having you around…”

“Coulda fooled me,” Trini spat. Now she was angry and hurt so she lashed out.

“Why would you say that?” 

At any other time the sad tone to her mother’s voice would make her feel bad but instead it brought Trini a small sense of satisfaction. “Because any time you’re near me, you act like this. You don’t talk to me- you interrogate me. You’re constantly suspicious of everything I do or who hang out with. You’re overly critical and mean sometimes. You want me to act a certain way and when I try and tell you that that’s not who I am, you get angry and punish me.”

Taking a tentative step forward, June tried to get Trini to understand. “I’m watching out for you; you don’t know what the real world is like.”

_ The real world is full of people like you _ , Trini thought bitterly. _ I don’t need this shit here at home, I get it enough everywhere else. _

“I know exactly what it’s like because it’s just as hard being here as it is out there.” 

Pushing passed her momentarily stunned mother, Trini headed for the stairs. 

“Don’t you walk away from me when I’m talking to you,” June warned.

“Then ground me. I’m going out and I won’t be back for dinner,” Trini added when she saw her father. “Tell Mrs.Norris and Sean whatever you want but I’m not gonna date him, ever.”

“June, you didn’t,” Miguel started. His face was a picture of disappointment. Before June could answer, he turned to Trini. “Go but be careful. Be home by curfew and make sure you get something to eat.” He took a twenty-dollar bill out of his wallet and gave it to her. “Here. Text or call if you need to.” 

“You’re encouraging her?” June asked, irate.

“Supporting her,” Miguel corrected. 

“What am I supposed to tell Bridget and Sean?”

“That’s not Trini’s problem. You set this up so you can deal with it. We talked about this over the summer and you promised not to do it again. But you have so I’m letting Trini out of an awkward situation you created.”

Relief flowed through her making Trini feel warm. She couldn’t believe her father was standing up for her. “Thanks,” she spared him a smile and disappeared out the door. She didn’t want to be around for the rest of that discussion.

The next morning, Monday, Kim shot her a text explaining that she wouldn’t be able to pick her up for school nor would she be in school herself. Her mother was taking her on a day trip somewhere and she’d be off-grid until she got back. Something about the scenario didn’t seem right to Trini but there was nothing she could do about it.

School was lackluster and dull without Kim to hang out with, tease, and steal french fries from. Usually, the guys were great but Zack and Jason decided on a burping contest at lunch and without Kim to make them stop, Trini was stuck with it. 

“Ug, you guys are disgusting, I’m out,” she announced after the third baloney-stench burp.

“Oh c’mon, T, that was at least an 8!” Zack said in reference to his last burp.

“Your both filthy animals,” she grumbled as she stood up. As she walked out, she found Billy a few steps behind her.

“That was gross,” he said once he caught up. “I know most guys my age find it funny but bodily emissions like that bother me.” He looked thoughtful. “And I’m disturbed by the baloney smell; neither of them has eaten that lately. That I know of, at least.”

“My little brothers do that too but at least with them it’s little burps and sometimes cute,” Trini told him. “But I was waiting for Zack or Jase to barf everywhere.”

Billy wrinkled his nose. “Ew. I don’t like that bodily function either. Reverse peristalsis.” 

Trini recognized the scientific term for vomiting from biology class. “Not one of my favorites either.”

“Does Kim’s aura feel right to you?” Billy asked with a suddenness that threw Trini off for a moment. But his face was so open and curious she couldn’t get upset.

Besides, Kim’s link and aura had been feeling strange for a few days and she was glad someone else noticed.

“It’s been strained lately, I guess, yeah.”

“It’s hard for me sometimes to translate what I feel from the link,” Billy sighed. “I have emotions and I understand them but feeling someone else’s is… disconcerting.”

“Yeah,” Trini agreed.

“Not that I mind it, not really,” he was quick to add. “I like the feeling that I’m never really alone. I mean, you guys can’t read my mind but if I’m having a problem, I can just reach out and you guys answer me, with feelings of course.”

“I get that.”

“But… translating what I feel from you guys into words, figuring out your emotions - what you feel, like if you’re angry or sad, it’s confusing. I’m getting better but it’s still hard,” Billy explained. “And Kim’s end of the link is always… cloudy? I guess is the best way I can put it. So figuring out her emotions is even harder.”

“I’m following you,” Trini told him, “but I’m not sure where you’re going with it.”

Billy frowned. “Is it easier for you to understand Kim?”

Trini shook her head. “No, dude, I can be looking right at her, talking to her and her end of the link is like what you said, cloudy. Or fuzzy. Or sometimes not even there so I can’t figure out how she really feels sometimes either.”

“I don’t like it when she does that,” Billy said, rubbing at the center of his chest. “She’s important to me and I don’t like it when she’s feeling so poorly that she closes down her end. I don’t like that she… hides from us.” His dark eyes implored her not to get upset that he called it hiding. 

Trini secretly called it that, too. “Same, Billy. I feel the same about it.”

He brightened a little at that. “Ok good. Well, not good since we’re both worried about Kim but good that I’m not alone in how I feel.”

“You’re not,” Trini verified. “Definitely not.”

“I know she’s had a rough time lately but shouldn’t her mother being here bring her more happiness?” the Blue Ranger asked. “Instead, she just feels gray.” Trini tilted her head at him. “Sometimes it’s easier to explain in terms of color, to me at least.”

Thinking about it and how Kim’s end of the link had been feeling lately, Trini decided ‘gray’ was appropriate.

“Ok, I get that,” she nodded. “I don’t know much about her parents or her relationship with them. Not really.” 

_ All I do know is they’re never home, pay little to no attention to her, and have alarmingly high expectations. _

“Me either. I asked my Mom about the Harts and she said they were ‘globe-trotting surgeons’ who traveled around a lot doing special surgeries but she’s never met them.”

“None of us have,” Trini pointed out. “And your Mom knew more than I did.”

“So Kim never mentions them?”

“Not really.”

“Oh, that’s sad,” Billy frowned. “I’d talk about my Dad all the time if I wasn’t worried it bothered my Mom. I don’t think it does anymore though.” He looked thoughtful for a moment. “Zack doesn’t mention his Dad but I think there’s a lot of hurt there. Do you think it’s the same with Kim?”

As much as she hated to lie to him, Trini shrugged. “I dunno really.” In truth, she knew Kim was terribly hurt by her parents' lack of attention but it wasn’t her place to explain that. Not when she promised not to do such a thing.

Billy looked at her and at that moment Trini knew that her friend was aware of the lie he was just told. 

“It’s ok, I understand,” he said when she looked at him in shame. 

“Thanks,” she sighed.

“You’ll tell us if things don’t get better, right?” By things he clearly meant Kim. 

Trini nodded. “I will.”

  
  


  
  



	10. Tap on My Window, Knock on My Door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TAGS: Angst, underage drinking/drug use (referenced, not seen), depression, mental illness, bad coping methods. 
> 
> Trini checks on Kim in the middle of the night and hits a wall, of sorts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! 
> 
> I promise there's action eventually. Lol
> 
> Enjoy!

Later, after her family had gone to bed, something was still bothering Trini and wouldn’t let her sleep so she threw on some clothes, packed her backpack and started to slip out her window before she paused. Dashing back in, she grabbed a few rolls of sketch paper and slid them into a container before finally slipping out her window to head to Kim’s. There was a strange ache in her chest that didn’t feel quite like it was coming over their link. The only explanation that made sense to her was that it was somehow coming from Kim and that it felt weird because of the way Kim could manipulate it. The only way she was going to get any sleep was to check on Kim herself.

When she arrived at the Hart’s, the driveway was empty save for Kim’s beat-up BMW which meant her mother had left. Although now that she thought about it, Trini never did see the silver SUV parked there. Shrugging that off, she looked up from the yard to see that the light was on in Kim’s bathroom but not her bedroom and the fairy lights that usually lit up the railing of the balcony were unlit. Deciding to see if the older girl was awake anyway, Trini vaulted up to the balcony. She looked into the window to see Kim’s bed was messy as if it hadn’t been made all day but the teen herself wasn’t in it. Her aura said she was there, though.

As she reached for the sliding glass door, a voice from further to her right startled her.

“Try knocking first. I might be in the bathroom.” 

Trini let out a ‘meep’ and spun to face the voice. In the lounge chair closest to the tree and hidden by some of the sprawling branches sat Kim, watching her with keen interest.

“Dios Mio, Kim!” she put a hand over her chest, her heart feeling like it was about to pound right out of it. “What are you doing sitting in the dark? Creeper much?”

Playing with the nearest thin branch hanging low enough for her to reach, Kim wasn’t amused by her friend’s appearance. “I’m sitting on my own balcony at my own house. In this scenario, you’re the creeper,” she said calmly, her voice soft. 

There was a tone of tension underneath it that made Trini uncomfortable. It wasn’t a tone she was familiar with. 

“Sorry, you startled me.”

Kim shrugged one shoulder. “As I said, I was just sitting here. You’re the one dropping in at nearly 3 am. Don’t you sleep?”

Trini raised a sculpted brow in response. “Don’t you?” Kim shrugged the other shoulder and continued to stare at her friend. The look was making Trini uncomfortable which was strange; she never felt that way around Kim before. “Your mom still in town?” 

“Huh- Oh, no. She left.”

“Everything ok with her?”

“Meh, same mostly.”

“Whatcha doing out here?” Taking a step closer, an acrid smell hit her nose making it crinkle. Looking around, Trini noticed an empty bottle of tequila on its side under the chair.

Seeing her friend witness her transgression, Kim looked away and up at the stars.“Looking at the stars and thinking.”

Worried about why Kim would be drinking when it took an insane amount to affect them, Trini leaned her elbows against the railing and followed Kim’s gaze up to the small twinkling lights in the sky, each one countless miles away. “Anything interesting?” she asked, hoping that if she waited and approached it properly she could get Kim to open up and not shut down.

“Nope.” 

Trini bit back the urge to sigh; it wouldn’t help anything. But monosyllabic Kim was new and already not well-liked by her. Strong and silent was more Trini’s thing than Kim’s. 

“Do they make you feel big or small?” Kim asked suddenly. 

Trini tilted her head. “What?”

“The stars. When you look at them; do you feel big or small in the scheme of things, knowing what we know about the universe now?”

Trini had to think about that for a moment. Thanks to Zordon, Rita, and the Power Coins they knew that there was more life in the universe than just humans. They knew magic existed as did a technology that was eons ahead of anything on Earth and that in all honesty, the only thing that stood between the planet and total annihilation at times were five teenagers with differing degrees of attitude problems. It was a sobering realization.

“I’m not sure,” she shrugged. “You?”

“I feel fucking pathetic,” Kim retorted, prepared for the question. Trini flinched despite herself. 

“Neil deGrasse Tyson says we’re made of stardust, same as those things up there,” she pointed out. 

Kim let out a humorless puff of a laugh. “We’re bags of water and meat on a breakable bone frame, clinging to a mud ball spinning in space, at the mercy of gravitational forces we can’t control and at the whim of whatever space monster crosses our path. Stardust my ass.”

“That’s… cheerful.” No, no it wasn’t. It was depressing.

“That’s the basic truth. There’s no rhyme or reason to any of it, Trin. It’s just all chance and chaos.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“Suit yourself.”

“I know I keep asking this but, are you ok?”

“You ask that a lot.”

“You’re my friend and something doesn’t seem right.”

“You’re worrying again.”

“Yup, it’s what I do.”

“I’ve told you not to.” The impassive expression on Kim’s face was irritating the heck out of the younger girl.

“Oh well. Guess I don’t listen very well.”

“That’s the damn truth. It’s sweet; unnecessary, but sweet.” The older girl sounded tired but it seemed like it was much more than physical exhaustion and that was worrisome. 

Trini turned around and leaned back against the railing so she could look at Kim properly. “You’re drinking tequila.”

“Remember what Harper said? ‘Kimmy loves her tequila’ or something. What do you know, it wasn’t a lie.” 

“Can you be serious for a sec?”

“I am being serious. She wasn’t lying for a change. It’s amazing.”

Trying and failing not to roll her eyes, Trini went with it. “Fine, but why are you drinking it now, tonight?”

“I like the taste.”

Trini ground her teeth together. “Jesus Christ, at least respect me enough not to lie to my face like that,” she bit out harshly. “Shit.”

“What do you want me to say?” Kim shot back in the same edgy tone. 

Trini ran a hand over her face. “The truth? You’re out here in the middle of the night, obviously upset and drinking alone. You’re hiding your end of the link but I can feel something… I can’t explain it. But it’s dark and twisted up and…gray, I guess. Like one of those storms that spawn tornadoes.” Billy’s color comment still seemed like the best description. 

“Pfft, a storm?” Kim mocked. “Give me a break.”

“You give me one first. Talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Kim insisted. Trini glared. “What? I couldn’t get any weed so I did this.”

“All right, but why? Why did you need anything at all?”

“I’m having an off-day, OK?” Kim uncharacteristically snapped. The outburst was similar to the release of pressure inside a champagne bottle, instant and jarring. Possibly dangerous if aimed in the wrong direction. “Christ. Is that ok with you? Or do I have to get permission beforehand?” 

Taken aback at the anger, Trini shook her head. “No, of course not. I just…”

Kim took a deep breath in an effort to calm down. Arguing with Trini wasn’t going to help and would more likely make everything worse. She just didn’t know how to handle the situation; she was used to feeling how she felt and no one noticing. This sudden attention on a personal level was new and it made her anxious which lead to her being angry. That only made everything worse because her anger always leads to her following her worst impulses.

Kim bit her lip. “Yeah, I know. Sorry to snap, I’m just tired. Sorry.” Trini opened her mouth to make a comment but Kim continued. “I’m apologizing to you a lot lately, aren’t I?” 

“Mostly without needing to,” Trini confirmed. “This time though…” she gave Kim a pointed look. “And we can’t exactly blame it on the booze either.”

“I know,” Kim agreed in a defeated tone. “But it’s not a big deal; there wasn’t even much left. All I did was gave myself a stomach ache. So it was pointless like most of the shit I do. Lesson learned.” She sounded petulant and repentant which was an interesting combo but Trini figured if anyone could pull it off, Kim could. 

Absorbing the impromptu confession, Trini nodded. “OK. I mean, it still doesn’t really explain the part I care about though. Like, why you’re out here in the middle of the night drinking. It seems like it’s more than just an off-day but I dunno what an ‘off-day’ is or how I can help.”

The sincere worry and desire to help that Kim could see in hazel eyes made her feel even worse than she already did. The unconditional caring that Trini gave her left her reeling every time. After swallowing a few times to rid her throat of the lump Trini’s words had put there, Kim shook her head. “You can’t help, not really. What brought you here, though? If we’re asking questions.”

Seeing the question as a distractionary move by Kim to avoid the actual problem, Trini felt a pang of pain in her chest; despite her efforts to hide it, the sadness was now radiating off of the brunette in waves. It hurt that Kim wouldn’t let her ‘in’ again and the mean comment from a few days earlier echoed in her mind.

_ “Maybe you weren’t in…” _

She shook her head to dismiss the echo. “You,” she answered gently. 

“Ha. I gathered as much. I was looking more for context.”

The sarcastic answer grated on Trini’s nerves but she tried to ignore it. “You haven’t seemed ‘right’…” 

“Was I more left?”

Torn between frustrated and defeated, Trini huffed at her and nearly stomped her foot. “Don’t do that!” Kim just stared at her either not following or faking it really well. “Don’t deflect. Something’s been off with you lately but I honestly thought you were feeling better. But it’s gotten worse, like both yesterday and today.”

“No offense but have you known me long enough to know when I’m ‘off’? I mean, I’m not a carton of milk; you can’t exactly take a sniff and tell if I’ve gone rancid or something.”

It was an effort but Trini managed not to flinch at the first part of Kim’s purposefully stinging question; she knew she hadn’t known the older girl for very long but the fact that Kim’s mood had been down or ‘off’ was obvious to her. It had been since her mother called and asked about the email Amanda’s father had sent about the incident at lunch. And it only progressed downward with their fight Thursday afternoon. 

It was possible that the things Trini noticed were so subtle that she was truly the only one seeing them and everyone else wasn't being willfully blind which one was Trini’s theories. Maybe the hyperawareness came from how she felt about Kim, she wasn’t sure. It felt like more and her observations skills, finely honed from years of being as a stealthy wallflower rarely lead her astray. Trini tended to trust her gut which probably prompted Kim’s earlier statement regarding it. 

Changes in someone’s behavior were noticed fairly quickly; the closer Trini was to someone the sooner she noticed. With Kim, the changes stood out like there was a magnifying glass on them, immediately drawing Trini’s eyes to it. It was audible as well as visual. Kim wasn’t smiling as much and her laugh sounded forced; already a bit of a hermit, she bailed on spending time with any of them, even Trini. Over the weekend they’d spent no time together and although Mrs. Hart was briefly home, Trini wasn’t sure Kim was eating enough since she seemed more tired than usual. Although as a Power Ranger, they weren’t prone to getting as tired as Kim sometimes claimed to be. 

All these changes had only been happening for about a week but getting progressively worse. It all jumped out at Trini. Her concern about Kim’s mood had only been reinforced when she’d been over to say hello and Kim had been so cold and distant. There was a single element involved that looked to be the main thing influencing Kim’s morbid mood.

“Yeah, I do think I know you well enough,” Trini retorted firmly. The way Kim’s eyes widened for a split second at the tone and ferocity she used was satisfying. “I don’t know like, specifics about stuff, sure but I feel like I’m getting to know you and you’re… down, I guess. Like… nah I can’t explain it. And I dunno if it’s because of your mom or what but…”

“Wait, my Mom?” Kim asked, confused.

Although she found the way Kim’s face crinkled with confusion adorable, Trini was now also confused. “Yeah, cuz she was here? And you’ve been down since she called the other day and now that she’s come and gone, you seem even worse.”

“Eh, maybe. I dunno.” Kim waved her hand in the air as if physically dismissing the entire idea but Trini didn’t want to let it go that easily.

“Did she upset you?”

“Not really?”

Crossing her arms over her chest, Trini shook her head. “I’m asking you. Why are you answering me with a question?” Kim shrugged but didn’t answer. They stared at each other for a few awkward minutes. The atmosphere between them made Trini’s skin crawl and it wasn’t long before she couldn’t take it anymore.

“Damn it, Kim, I’m not good at this emotional shit,” she complained. “I feel like… no, I know something’s bothering you but I don’t know how to ask and you’re like a wall right now…” 

“Then stop beating yourself against it,” Kim said simply, without malice or snark. Her voice was almost emotionless. “You’re just gonna hurt yourself.”

Frowning, Trini tilted her head. “What? How? That doesn’t make sense. I’m only trying to help.”

“Most things I do don’t make sense,” Kim snorted darkly. “I thought you knew that by now.” At Trini’s unamused look, Kim sighed. “Why do you always think I need help? Because I’m a big girl; I’ve even got superpowers now. I can fight my own battles but you keep getting all wound up over imaginary things…”

Trini let out a frustrated, incredulous sigh. “Kim…I’m not imagining things. Even the guys have noticed.”

Hanging her head a moment, Kim sighed again. “There’s nothing to notice,” she tried to convince Trini. 

“Come on! Don’t act like we’re stupid or something.”

“I’m not. I’m trying to tell you that you’re making something out of nothing based just on what? Your gut? A fuzzy feeling over our link? A ‘gray’ feeling” The air quotes made Trini’s blood boil.

“Billy’s worried.”

“Shit. Look, nothing’s wrong…” Seeing that hurt look on her face and knowing Trini wouldn’t let it go unless she gave up a little something, Kim relented. “Nothing wrong like what you’re thinking,” she amended.

“I’m…” she stopped and searched for the right words, running a hand through her hair with a slight pull on the side, “a little sad today is all. It happens once in a while and it’ll be fine by morning. It’s not really about my Mom but whatever. Trin, all you do is worry about me. Could you just exist with me for once?”

Trini didn’t like the answer; she disliked that Kim was sad but she was thankful for the honest answer. “Thank you for telling me how you feel. I know it’s not easy to, I mean, it’s not for me. And you’re not used to it but I’m not like Amanda or Harper; I’m gonna notice when you’re not right. But I’d never use this or how you’re feeling against you or something.”

Not understanding how Trini could nail one of her worst fears so succinctly without having ever voiced it, and do it twice in one week Kim just looked at her. The few times that Amanda and/or Harper caught her in one of these sorts of moods it was seen as a weakness and used against her. They taunted and teased her about it and made her feel even worse so she learned to disappear or hide it when she needed to. That was a reason, along with many others why she couldn’t open up and why Trini, of all people, still needed a crowbar to get this truth out of her.

Across from her, Trini could see how her last comment hit home and it made her both mournful for the things Kim had been through with her old friends and incredibly angry at those former friends. 

_ You don’t use shit like this against someone! I don’t get why she was friends with those jerks if the real her is this sensitive and wounded? Or did they do this to you? _

She was leaning towards option #2.

“I know,” Kim managed to squeak. She couldn’t even look the other girl in the eye at the moment, afraid Trini would see the tears she was trying to hide.

“I just wanna help. It’s ok to let me know when you’re sad; I won’t judge. I promise on God and my coin.” She bit her lip. “Uhm… y’know, I have bad days too.” Her heart rate picked up at confession since she’d never told anyone about her own struggles but she pushed away from the panic. Right now, it was about Kim.

“They’re different, yeah, but I can still try to make you feel better. So, just let me know, ok? Please? We don’t have to do anything, but I wanna know so I can be here for you, that’s all. Just like I was the other day. Even just over a text because I can’t get out of my house. Let me help.”

Kim nodded, unable to speak. 

“Besides, worrying about you isn’t  _ all _ I do,” Trini joked to ease some of the stress she could see making lines crease across Kim’s face. She didn’t want to make her friend feel worse, she was only concerned and felt she’d finally gotten her point across. “I do other things.”

One side of Kim’s mouth quirked up. “Like what, exactly?” she started and Trini decided to ignore the thickness in her voice. “You fuss over me like some sorta Mama Bear or a personal guard. It’s adorable. Unnecessary and frustrating at times, but adorable.”

In lieu of saying more about how worrying for Kim would never be unnecessary, Trini went with a familiar part of their banter. “I’m not adorable, I’m badass.” They were both too emotionally strung out for the night to keep pushing.

“An adorable badass,” Kim teased with a wink.

Playfully glaring, Trini complained, “Adorable is another word for cute and you know how I feel about being called cute. I am not a fuzzy teddy bear.”

“A-dork-able.”

Trini groaned. “Horrible. Terrible. You’re such a weirdo.” 

Kim finally smiled. “I am. But so are you.”

Gasping dramatically, Trini stalked over. “Move over.”

Kim’s eyes grew big. “What? No, Trini, the chair isn’t big enough.”

“Are you calling my ass fat?”

Kim’s eyes automatically drifted there before she dragged them back up as her cheeks and ears turned red. Most of which was hidden by the shadows she sat in. “No! C’mon, it’s not gonna…” Despite her words, she shifted over to make space although the chair wasn’t very big, to begin with.

“Make room, Princess.” Trini plopped herself half on top of Kim’s lap and a half on the part of the chair Kim had vacated.

The chair groaned under the added weight.

“I swear if it collapses, you’re buying a new one,” Kim warned.

“It’s fine,” Trini scoffed and she settled in, not missing the way Kim’s arms moved to wrap around her. “Now you know when you’re sad you can call me.”

“And bring you down too? Nah, it’s my shit, T, I can handle it. I always have.”

“We just settled this…” Trini tilted her head to look at her and was a little shocked at how close their faces were; the flecks of red and gold in Kim’s eyes were visible this close even in the low light and they could kiss without having to move at this distance. She swallowed thickly and tried to ignore that last fact. “My point is you don’t have to. We’re a team, you and me.” That earned her a small smile and the arms around her tightened for a moment. 

Kim brushed her nose against hers and Trini swore her heart skipped a few beats. That would explain the sudden lightheadedness. 

“I appreciate that. And I’ll try to reach out if this happens again. But tonight, I’ve got this. This is my issue and I’ll deal with it myself. No offense.” And just as quick, Kim shut back down although her face stayed open and her tone was light.

Trini did take offense; that was always Kim’s defense- she ‘had’ it. It was a weak excuse each time because, by observation, she clearly didn’t have anything under control. Regardless, she nodded wanting Kim to trust her on her own terms with whatever it was that was bothering her. She’d also felt some tensing in Kim’s muscles so she wanted to let it go for the night and not reignite the argument while running around in circles. Plus, she was pretty sure that at this time of the morning, Kim could talk her in those circles and Trini wouldn’t be able to keep up. 

“I’m here for you though. For anything.”

“I know. It helps, really. Thanks.”

Taking it as the best she was going to get for the night, Trini moved on. “OK. Uh… I thought… here- I wanted to show you something.” Reaching for the container with her sketches in it, she pulled out an 11x17 sheet. 

Kim’s eyes lit up and inside Trini gave herself a pat on the back. It was a bit narcissistic, she knew but she’d hoped that opening up about herself and her art little more might not only cheer her friend up but encourage Kim to do the same. The excitement on the Pink Ranger’s face made the lack of sleep that night completely worth it.

“Is that one of yours?” Kim asked in a hushed voice like she was in a church or museum. 

Anxiety was starting to pool in Trini’s gut. Only her parents got a glance at her artwork and even that was rare. “Yup. I figure it’s only fair. You made a special trip to get me Krispy Kreme…”

“Actually, that was more for me,” Kim laughed and the sound was like a balm on Trini’s nerves. “I was dying for sugar.”

“Well, if you don’t wanna see it…” 

“No!” Kim exclaimed, making grabby hands. “Gimmie, gimmie, gimmie! Show me, please!” It was the most energy and life that she’d seen in Kim in a week and it felt amazing to be the cause of it.

Nervously, Trini unrolled the paper and Kim gasped, her eyes wide. “Hang on.” She took out her phone and turned on the flashlight to better see the artwork.

It was a landscape of Angel Grove’s beautiful marina in watercolor pencils. It was amazingly detailed and the way the colors were blended took Kim’s breath away.

“Trini, it’s beautiful,” she whispered in awe, afraid to touch it. There was no way she was going to risk smudging or ruining something that clearly took her best friend hours upon hours to do.

Trini Gomez did not idle well but apparently when it came to art, she was infinitely patient if the level of detail in the drawing was any indication. Kim could see the white tops on the waves, the gradient colors of the leaves, the lines of every cage on the ships, and even the faded paint on many of the boats were meticulously blended to look just like reality. 

“Don’t sound so surprised, Princesa. I can be a badass with talent.”

“I wasn’t saying you couldn’t, I was….” Her eyes narrowed as she watched a smirk pull at full lips. “Asshole. I thought you were offended!” She shoved her and laughed. “Seriously, you’re really good. Like, make money good.” 

Trini felt her ears turn red at the sincere compliment and her nervousness eased. 

“Thanks.” She hesitantly pulled out another one. This one, however, had her wanting to run and she regretted bringing it. “This one might seem weird and if you don’t like it, we can toss it into the bonfire next time…”

“The hell we will,” Kim interrupted although she hadn’t seen it yet. “I don’t care what it is, we’re framing it.”

Trini playfully rolled her eyes. “All right just don’t think I’m, like, weird or obsessive or something. Cuz I’m not.”

“No promises. Oh, Trini,” she breathed as it came into view. It was her, smiling, standing on the ridge above the chasm they jumped down to get into the ship. It was bright and sunny above her and looked almost like a photograph. She could even see the reflection of Trini standing in front of her in her own brown, gold, and reddish eyes. 

Trini’s throat went dry while she felt her hairline start to break out in a cold sweat. “I… uhm, I figured since you take so many pictures of me… er, of us that it was only fair,” she stuttered, embarrassed. “And like, I’m always stuck looking at you so, yeah.”

Kim couldn’t stop staring at the way the artist had captured her; she looked radiant, carefree and happy. It wasn’t what she herself saw when she looked in the mirror; she liked Trini’s interpretation of her much more. Ideally, she wished she could see herself through Trini’s eyes if this is how the other girl saw her. 

“I love it,” she said honestly, a little choked up. “Is this… Is this really how you see me?”

“That’s how you are,” Trini shrugged. “So, yeah.”

Kim was beyond touched. In the drawing, she looked beautiful in a whole new way. “Wow. I don’t know what to say. Thanks.”

Relaxing some, the younger teen managed a smile. “They’re yours, by the way. I signed them and everything.”

“What? No! No, I can’t do that, Trin. I’d have to pay you…”

“No,” Trini nearly barked, immediately silencing Kim. “If you won’t take them as gifts then consider it payment for the meals and stuff you’ve paid for.” Kim gave her a sour look. “No, seriously, you said I could make money from them, so let me use them as payment. I know I don’t have to because our friendship isn’t like that, but I’m proud, Kim. My pride doesn’t like you spending money on me. It bugs me. I’d be really honored if you’d accept these from me.”

Kim considered this a moment and nodded before wrapping her strong arms around Trini again for a tight hug. “I’m the honored one. I’m gonna have these framed and hang them up.” Trini groaned in embarrassment as she put them back into their container but knew she couldn’t stop Kim when she used that tone of voice. 

“If the boys ask…”

“I had them commissioned or bought them somewhere,” Kim finished for her, understanding that it was still Trini’s secret to share with who she wanted when she wanted. There was no way Kim was going to risk upsetting Trini and not getting to see more artwork in the future.

“Sometimes it’s scary how well you can read my mind.”

Kim gestured around them. “Uh, ditto.”

An hour later, Trini carefully picked up Kim’s sleeping form and carried her into the bedroom, placing her in her bed. Kim didn’t stir and had snuggled into Trini’s hold before being set on the bed. After making sure the balcony doors were shut and the tequila bottle was put in the recycling, Trini crawled in beside her and settled down. 

The strange feeling in her chest hadn’t gone away and although she’d planned to stay anyway, it didn’t feel right to leave. The older girl wasn’t in any danger but something at the back of her mind told her to stay with her friend that night just to be on the safe side. Not in the habit of ignoring her instincts, Trini curled up on her side with an arm over Kim’s abdomen and held her tight, smiling slightly when Kim unconsciously cuddled closer. Yawning, Trini let sleep eventually take her once she knew Kim was deeply asleep.

They both slept nightmare free for the rest of the night. 

  
  



	11. Where Were You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TAGS: Language, angst, homophobia, adult themes, family trouble
> 
> The relationship between Trini and her mother continues to deteriorate when June confronts Trini about why she wasn't in her bed the next morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Trini.  
Timeline-wise we're still in October.

With her headphones on blasting her rock music, Trini didn’t hear her mother enter her room, which was against the rules without knocking first anyway. The older woman watched her critically for a few moments as she worked in her sketch pad, bobbing her head to her music.

“Turn that down, I want to talk to you,” June’s voice cut through the screeching metal music like a fart in church. Trini’s pencil jerked to the side, ruining a line she was in the middle of. Grunting in displeasure, she removed her headphones with one hand and worked to erase her ‘error’ with the other.

“Whoa, knock much?” she said, brushing the eraser debris away, “What’s up?” The cross look on her mother’s face clued her in that it wasn’t going to be a pleasant conversation. Not that many talks with her mother were pleasant anymore, not since she turned about 12 and her sexuality came into play. 

She prayed this wasn’t another talk about what had happened with the ill-fated date June had tried to set her up on. Trini had no idea what June had said to her friend and her son when she took off and refused to show up to the dinner. She didn’t care to know but what she did know was how pissed her mother had been and assumedly still was. Her father had rescued her from any grounding, surprisingly. His argument was that June had promised to never do such a thing again and she was the one who broke their word, not Trini. June had nothing to argue with or punish Trini for and it left the woman surly.

“You weren’t home this morning,” June said flatly.

“Nope, I left before you got up.” A few years of trying to outthink her mother taught her to prepare for sudden conversations like this. June had the habit of knowing things she had no right knowing so Trini learned to preplan a plausible story whenever she did something she shouldn’t have. Even though she felt that helping Kim was in no way the wrong thing to do, Trini knew it was the wrong story to tell her mother. Another story along with corroboration was ready for the woman. 

“Really?” The tone said June thought she was lying. Which she was. She’d watched over Kim all night and came home after school. 

Testing the waters to see how much her mother might know, Trini tossed out a “Yup.”

“What time did you leave? Why didn’t you leave a note? Where did you go? Who were you with? Why didn’t you tell us?”

It took superhuman willpower not to roll her eyes at the questions being shot at her.

“Early. Forgot. Starbucks, school. Friends. Last minute.”

The vein in the middle of her mother’s forehead started to appear. It was usually a good indicator of how long Trini had before the woman lost her temper completely. Once it popped forward, she typically had until June’s complexion turned red and the vein actually throbbed. Usually less than 5 minutes. Sometimes, when she was feeling particularly snarly, Trini tried to see how fast she could get it to that point.

She wasn’t in that mood today. 

“Trinidad Selena, you will give me real answers!” June yelled. 

Trini winced; two out of four names weren’t good. That cut her time before ‘manic mom’ appeared to about three minutes. Here she was faced with the choice to either continue with the antagonistic attitude or to try to calm her mother down and hopefully avoid being grounded.

The lack of smugness let Trini know that her mother didn’t have a clue she hadn’t been home at all so her alibi should work.

“Mom, I couldn’t sleep so I met up with some friends before school,” she tried.

“I was up at 5:30 and your bed was empty!” 

_ Yeesh, she’s never up that early. _“Yeah, I went out right before that. I couldn’t sleep and neither could Jason so we met up. The Starbucks pop-up is 24 hours so we had coffee and like, chilled.”

“For three hours?” Trini nodded. “Why aren’t you sleeping?”

_ Uh, usually nightmares of being attacked and killed by a space witch or falling to my death in a fiery pit. But for a change, last night Kim needed help. And I can’t tell you any of it. Shit. _

“I dunno, Mama, I just can’t sometimes,” she sighed. June reached over and felt her forehead causing Trini to jerk backward away from the touch. The hurt look that covered her mother’s face made her chest ache. “Sorry, you startled me. I’m not sick, Mama. I just have too much energy sometimes and my mind goes too fast.”

The way Trini had softened her tone and face worked to calm June quite a bit. Plus, Trini’s story was plausible whether she liked it or not; sneaking out was still a groundable offense, however. _ At least she wasn’t with that girl, Kimberly. Jason seems like a very sweet kid. He’s 18 and not really what I see as Trini’s type though. Still, better him than Kimberly. _

That train of thought well on its way, she took to another track. “The school didn’t call.”

Brow scrunched together, Trini looked at her in confusion. “Of course not. I went to class.” 

“So, you broke the rules to sneak out, met up for early morning coffee and still went to school?” 

Trini was slightly insulted that her mother was so shocked. “Uh, yeah. I couldn’t sleep, it’s not like I was planning to skip and head to, like, the beach or something. Ma, I get creeped out in here late at night when I can’t sleep.” She gestured around the room. “Dad’s repairing it but… aliens got in. It’s creepy.”

Her mother’s mood instantly changed. “Mija, I’ll get your father working on it faster and you can use the guest room in the meantime.” Seeing the surprised look on her daughter’s face, since no one was allowed to even set foot in that room outside of guests, June smiled. “We can make an exception for this. But no more sneaking out.”

“It was already after 5,” Trini complained. “Dad’s up at 6 and I have to be in homeroom by 7:30 anyway. It wasn’t that early.” 

“Trini,” her mother snapped, mood switching again. Sometimes, Trini considered keeping a chart that tracked the woman’s mood swings. “No leaving the house without a note before 6 AM, understand?”

“Si, Mami,” Trini sighed, unhappily.

“There’s something else,” June began.

_ There always is. _ “Yeah?” 

June stood up a little straighter and gave a pull on the bottom of her blouse to straighten it out. 

_ Oh good, she’s psyching herself up to say whatever she’s going to say, _ Trini knew. 

“It’s about your friend Kimberly…” The way she said her name made Trini's stomach burn. It made Kim sound like an infectious and deadly disease or something absolutely disgusting. It was a huge sign of disrespect towards the taller teen who hadn’t done a single thing to earn June Gomez’s hatred except being female around Trini.

_ Aw, come on! _Trini had to stop herself from blurting it out loud. 

“... and the amount of time you spend with her. It’s too much and I want you to cut it down to only a day or so a week that you hang out with her.”

“I don’t spend that much time with her.”_ Lies. _ “Not any more than I do any of the guys, at least.” _ More lies. But you don’t need to know that. _“You gonna ban me from all my friends?”

“Don’t treat me like I’m stupid, Trinidad,” June argued. 

“I’m not! But it sounds like you’re accusing me of something! Or Kim of something. And you don’t get to dictate who I’m friends with or how much time I spend with them. I’m way too old for that kinda stuff.”

“I’m your Mother! I most certainly do get to choose your friends…”

Trini immediately balked at that. “No! Maybe if I get into bad trouble with someone you can but I haven’t with Kim. We haven’t been in any trouble.” At least nothing truly dangerous and nothing that they couldn’t handle together. Ty and the girls were a good example of that.

“Not yet,” June scoffed. “It’s better to spend less time with her before you _ do _ get into trouble.”

“What kind of trouble?” Trini challenged with a quirk of her eyebrow. “What kind of trouble do you think my antisocial ass is gonna get into with Kim, little-miss-hermit-under-the-blanket? Hoarding donuts? I mean, we don’t do anything-”

June waved her hand dismissively. “Then you don’t need to be friends with her if you do nothing together. It shouldn’t be a problem.”

“It is! A really huge one!”

“Who knows what kind of trouble you could end up in with that girl. No, you’ll be spending less time with her to prevent any trouble. I know you’re angry but I’m thinking of what’s best for you…”

“No, you’re thinking only of you! Your only issue with Kim is that she’s a girl and I’m gay!”

June recoiled at the word. “You are not! And that’s not my issue with her! She is a bad person, Trini and I don’t want you hanging around people like her.”

“Bad person? For what?” She had an inkling but waited to see what her mother would say. June had reached the tone of voice that meant she wasn’t actually listening to Trini and wasn’t going to stop now until she made whatever her point was. Typically, June did this in an overly dramatic way so Trini was ready for it. 

“Pornography!” June shrieked almost hysterically. She went from relatively calm to shrieking in an instant. Trini could hear her father’s footsteps thundering up the stairs, drawn no doubt by her mother’s growing melodramatics. “She is into child pornography!”

She didn’t mean to laugh, she really didn’t but the way her mother said it sent Trini into a fit of giggles. 

“What are you laughing at? What is so funny about child pornography? Ay Dios Mio! Are you part of her ring?” 

Trini laughed harder. The thought of sweet, goofy Kim running a porn ring was killing her; it was so unfathomable. And the stiff way her mother was trying to use buzzwords like ‘ring’ only made her laugh to the point of not being able to breathe. Her ribs hurt from laughing.

“What is going on in here?” Miguel asked loudly as he reached the room. “Dear Lord, June, the neighbors down the block can hear you; take it down a level.”

Giggling so hard she was snorting, Trini tried to explain, “She’s trying to say who I can and can’t hang out with but she’s only got a problem with Kim but the only problem is Kim’s a girl and I’m gay so she thinks something’s going on and there’s not.”

“You aren’t gay and she is a child pornographer and you will stop laughing right this instant!” June raged.

After a quick amused expression that his wife couldn’t see facing away from him, Miguel schooled his features. “Trini, please stop laughing, this is serious,” he said. “And you, calm down.”

“Dad, I’m laughing because she’s being ridiculous. Kim isn’t a child pornographer. That’s just… crazy. That’s like saying Wonder Woman is a child predator. It doesn’t add up.”

“Wonder Woman? You seem to think awfully highly of her,” June hissed.

_ I do. _“It’s just- I can’t even,” Trini wiped at her eyes. “I mean, of all the things to accuse Kim of, of all people you went with that."

Enraged that her daughter was laughing in her face at something she felt was important, June sneered and whipped out her phone much to Trini’s horror because she knew what she was doing.

_ Oh my God, did someone send her a copy of Amanda’s photo? How the hell…? No, WHO the hell would do that? _

Finding what she was searching for, June thrust the screen in her husband’s face. “Look at this! Look! That girl sent this image out unedited to everyone at school! Trini, I want to see your phone right now to see if this image is on there.”

“WHAT THE HELL, JUNIE?” Miguel yelled, shoving the arm with the phone in it roughly. “Why would you show me that? Words would have done!” Even edited, the picture made him feel dirty. He muttered angrily in Spanish under his breath for a moment, possibly a prayer; Trini wasn’t close enough to hear clearly over her mother’s continued ravings.

“That girl sent out a picture of a naked friend to everyone at her school! Where did she get that picture? Tell me that!” June demanded with her hands on her hips. There was no time for Trini to answer her since she just kept ranting. “I mean, what else does she do? What other kinds of debauchery is she into?”

“Debauch…” Trini started. 

“How many more pictures of naked ‘friends’ does she have? What does she do with them? Is that where all her money comes from? She spends a lot on you… Wait, Trinidad, DOES SHE HAVE A PICTURE OF YOU?” 

“Oh my God no!” Trini yelled back hoping to be heard through her mother’s antics. 

“Is she blackmailing you? Is that why you spend so much time with her? Does she have videos or pictures you don’t want her to have? Or did you ask her to take pictures? Why would you do that?”

_ Jesus, even in her hysterics I’m the bad influence _. “Calm down! First, I don’t do pictures like that, okay? That’s just… no,” Trini emphasized with a shake of her head.

“Well, your friend does do pictures like that and you spend a lot of time with her,” Just said suspiciously. 

“Can I explain this?’ Trini snapped angrily. “Do I get a shot at some fucking context? Or are you gonna continue to act out a telenovela?”

“Language!” 

“Watch your language!” Both parents scolded her but at least it got her mother to shut up.

“Ay, sorry. But can I tell you the story behind it and why Kim isn’t what you keep calling her?” June looked ready to object but a side-look from Miguel quieted her. Slowly and simply, Trini explained the situation between Kim and Amanda, from where the picture came from through the fallout from the whole thing.

“It was just two former friends lashing out at each other. It wasn’t right and Kim knows that. Trust me, she’ll never do something like that again.”

“Don’t trust her. Leopards don’t change their spots,” June said snottily.

“Maybe, but hurt children make mistakes that they learn lessons from,” Miguel countered. “And if the Clarke’s haven’t pressed charges against Kim and the school has dealt with it, then it’s not up to us to continue punishing her.”

June looked insulted. “We still get to decide who our children spend their time with.”

Trini scowled and opened her mouth to object.

“Only to a point,” Miguel interrupted her, “and Trini’s right, until she gets into real trouble with someone or there’s something else that you and I agree on, we can’t outright ban her from having certain friends. Besides, the Lord loves a good redemption story.”

She knew that one got to her mother when the vein on June’s forehead popped and throbbed all at once. “Give me your phone,” the angry woman demanded and put her hand out.

Trini grabbed her phone off her bed and sat on it. “I got that pic and like, immediately deleted it cuz, ew, but you’re not looking at my phone. You have to trust me here.”

“Give me your phone or I’ll cancel it right now!”

Panic flowed through her; there were pics of herself and her friends in their armor, inside the ship, with their Zords, all of it. Billy and Alpha had encoded the phones to make them unhackable so the data was safe that way but there was nothing she could do if actual physical prying eyes got a look.

“June,” Miguel began calmly but sternly, “we need to allow Trini some sense of privacy and trust.” Both women looked at him in surprise. “She didn’t deny getting the text; she said she got it and deleted it. I’d like to believe her. I’d like you to do the same both with the photo and Trini. Flashing it in my face like that was uncalled for and upsetting. I’m surprised you didn’t think that all the way through given your line of work.”

At this, June looked ashamed and quietly deleted the photo from her gallery.

“Thank you. Now, when we moved here, we agreed that if she proved herself, we’d start trusting her again. No drugs, no arrests, nothing. That was well over a year ago and she hasn’t been in any trouble like she was before. I think she’s proven herself pretty well.”

“She’s had detention! There have been other things.”

“And she’s been punished for them when she’s done them. We can’t hold them over her head like that. She’s not perfect; she’s 16, June. I’m not happy you’ve been in trouble, Trini, but you’re gonna screw up.” Trini shrugged and felt like saying ‘no duh’ but it looked like the conversation might end in her favor if she kept quiet so she did. “But so far, none of these new friends have dragged her into anything like what the ones in Texas did. Kim and the boys seem ok and until they prove otherwise, we’re going to give them a chance.”

“She spends too much time with Kimberly.” Trini was amazed June said her name.

“They spend time together the same as any two teenage girls would,” Miguel reminded her. “You still tell me stories of your childhood best friend, what was her name? Vanessa? You two were about their age when you spent all that time together. You said you did everything together, all the time.”

A petulant expression appeared on June’s face. 

“Yeah, Vanessa. She was one of your bridesmaids too. You told me that she lived more at your house than her own for about a year when her parents were getting divorced. You even shared your room,” Miguel remembered. 

Trini was interested since she’d heard and met Vanessa but didn’t know about the rest.

“That’s different.”

“How?”

“It just is!”

“Because I’m gay and you can’t stand it!” Trini interjected.

“Trini…”

“No, you’re not!”

“June…”

“Yes, I am!”

“You spend too much time with that girl; that’s what’s making you think that way…”

“First off, she has a name, it’s Kim. Second, I’ve known since way before we moved here. You’re just not listening because you don’t want to hear me…”

“Stop, both of you!” Miguel boomed. “Where did this all start? With Kim?”

Both women were momentarily stunned by his attitude but June quickly began speaking.

“No, I came in here to check on her at 5 this morning and she was gone,” she explained sounding to Trini like one of her little brothers being a tattletale. Miguel looked at his daughter patiently. 

“I couldn’t sleep and met up with Jason at Starbucks,” Trini explained, beyond thankful that she was smart enough to iron the story out with her friend before dragging him into it. They’d even decided on what they’d ordered despite never going. In case someone asked or one of her parents called him to confirm her story.

“Why were you up so early?” Miguel asked June.

“I was up early to make sure my outfit for the conference was ready and ironed. I checked on the boys as well. It’s California and children are abducted from their rooms all the time,” June informed them. “Or murdered in their sleep.”

“Wow, paranoid much?” Trini scoffed. “Stop watching True Crime TV. The boys sleep on the second floor and I’m in the attic. There’s no way up.”

“They find ways, Trini! There is child sex trafficking going on all over.” 

“Oh my God,” Trini groaned. “Trust me, no one wants my cranky ass. Plus, I’ll beat the crap out of them.” They didn’t know she was a superhero but her parents had paid for many years for martial arts training. They didn’t doubt she’d put up a hell of a fight. 

Miguel let out a laugh before he could stop himself and covered his mouth. His daughter was tiny but feisty and he pitied anyone who even tried to come at her. 

“She’s right,” he snickered. “They’d return her. Now, come on, I agree that you’re being ridiculous. You can’t get mad at Trini for being a typical teenage girl and we can’t choose her friends unless she has one who is legitimately a problem like in Texas. Until you can give me a good reason to ban her from seeing Kim, I won’t.”

Relief flowed through Trini, not that a ban would stop her but she preferred not to disobey her parents if she could avoid it. Why her father was being so accommodating was beyond her but she wasn’t going to ask questions when things were going in her favor with very little effort on her part. 

“That girl is going to be nothing but trouble, mark my words,” June warned dramatically. “And you’re grounded two weeks for sneaking out.”

“I didn’t sneak…”

Miguel rolled his eyes. “Grounded for three days and don’t leave so early, ok? Or put a note on the kitchen table where we can see it so your Mom doesn’t flip out again.” June huffed in indignation.

Letting out a heavy groan, Trini agreed. “Fiiiine. What does grounding mean?”

“To school and back only and no activities on the weekend,” June decided.

“Wait a minute, that’s five days,” Trini said bitterly. “Don’t cheat.”

“Be home for dinner by 5, no going out after,” Miguel said, earning a dirty look from his wife. “She didn’t rob a bank, June, she left the house early without telling us and went to school, she didn’t ditch. And you, homework is to be finished before bed. No doing it at breakfast before school.”

“Got it,” Trini nodded. 

“The rest of the week’s laundry is on you as well,” her father finished. At this, June looked happy; she hated doing laundry. “You know the drill.”

“Ug yes. Bleh,” she whined. How her little brothers’ clothes got so messed up she’d never know. “And I’m sorry I forgot to leave a note this morning. It’s cuz I'm not sleeping, I think.”

“Stop drinking so much coffee and Red Bull,” June said somewhat helpfully. She’d made her point about Kim and grounded Trini so apparently she was back to a decent mood.

It made resentment swirl in Trini’s gut. “Actually, I don’t drink either,” she offered. They both looked at her in surprise. “Yeah, I prefer tea or cocoa.”

“You used to live on Red Bull,” June reminded her. 

“Yeah, but you hated it and it stopped doing anything for me,” Trini told her. It was the truth; with Ranger metabolism not only did she not need the caffeine boost, but her healing factor also canceled it out. “I just can’t sleep lately. No big. Just school stress.”

“Well, if you still can’t sleep in another week or so we’ll call the doctor,” June offered.

_ Unless they can do something about superhero level PTSD, I’m gonna have to pass. _

“Yeah, sure,” she agreed without much enthusiasm. “I really think it’s just hard wrapping my mind around what’s happened lately. I mean, aliens, huge monsters made of gold, armored superheroes. It’s… it’s a lot to process.”

Her father gave her an indecipherable look. “I imagine so. I mean, it is for all of us. But, thanks to the Power Rangers, the town survived and we’ll rebuild.”

This launched June into a diatribe about the damage done to parts of the town and how both Yeyo and Mateo had been having small nightmares about the rock creatures and gold monster attacking them. 

“One moment they’re upset about monsters and the next I’m catching them jumping off the furniture, screaming at one another and telling me they’re training to be Junior Power Rangers or something.” She threw her hands up. “Boys! I’d say girls were easier but honestly you were just the same at their age. And now they want to take more karate.”

Trini’s heart twisted in her chest knowing her brothers were suffering because of the battle but the last comment made her smile.

_ Junior Power Rangers! _

“Sorry Mami,” she said with a smirk at her mother. June huffed at her but Trini could tell that the earlier animosity had mostly drained away from her. 

“Ok, well, lights off by 11:30, no later,” June told her as she left the room. 

“Got it.”

Miguel lingered for a moment. “You know you can tell me anything, right, Mija?”

Frowning, Trini nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

“And you know that nothing you tell me will shock or scare me, right?”

Trini eyed him suspiciously. _ Oh, I doubt that. _ “Yeah. Uh, I already told you I was gay. There’s, um, not much more to tell you, really.” 

“All right. I just want to make sure you know you can come to me with anything, Trini. Anything,” he repeated firmly. He seemed disappointed in her answer. 

“Yeah, Papa, I know. That’s why I went to you first about being gay,” she reminded him. 

Miguel nodded and headed to the door.

_ Shit does he know…? _

“Dad?” she called out just as he went to shut the door behind him. 

“Yeah?” he peeked his head back in.

“You know, if there was something else going on with me, which there isn’t,” she was quick to add, “but if there was and it was important enough… I would tell you if I could.” She fixed him with an intense look. “If I could.”

He paused in the doorway absorbing the information for a moment before he nodded in understanding.

“I’m here if you need me,” he reassured her. “Whenever that is. I love you, sweetie.”

Trini gave him a rare (at least at home) genuine smile. “I love you too.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	12. Into the Ocean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TAGS: underage drug use (brief mention), mature language, swearing, tense situations (maybe) but nothing more than in the movie, minor angst, PTSD
> 
> Trini wonders if a small shift is happening within the Gomez family dynamics. The Power Rangers leap into action to help Angel Grove in a different way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!  
Sorry, I'm late. I have a migraine.  
*see notes at the bottom

“You seriously think he knows?” Zack asked as he finished removing a block from their wobbly tower of Jenga.

After her grounding was reduced to less than two entire days, Trini went to Zack’s house to hang out. They both had essays due for the same class and Trini was following through on her promise to help him if he’d asked. He was nervous about an essay that would amount to 30% of his overall grade for that year. If he got a B or better, he could relax a little but anything lower than a 75% and he was already in danger of not passing despite it being so early in the year. Since he was already repeating the class, Zack was determined to ace it and not have to take the class a third time. 

Trini watched him lazily from the armchair. “Like, 95% sure, dude. He’s been, I dunno, acting different with me and stuff. Like when Mom gets going at me; he never used to get involved, not really. I mean, yeah he’d step in if she got too mean or crazy but didn’t like, stop her so much as distract her until she lost interest in bugging me. It always pisses me off.”

“And now?” Zack asked, hanging upside down off the side of his couch now that he’d put his piece on the top. 

Eyeing the stack, Trini tried to search out her best option. “Now he defends me, let’s me off easy when I screw up, says weird shit like ‘you know you can trust me with anything’,” she mimicked her father by lowering her voice comedically, “in that way where you know that he knows what he’s not supposed to know and now he knows you know that he knows.”

“Whoa.”

“Yeah.” Trini made a face as she slid her chosen piece free and the tower staggered precariously. After a moment it stabilized and she put her piece on top.

“Nice,” Zack breathed, sitting up again for his turn. “Shit, I’m seeing like two of these things.”

Trini laughed. “Yeah, hanging upside down will do that.” Zack snorted at her. “And whatever that shit is, buy it again,” she joked, indicating the strain of weed she and Zack had just finished a joint full of. Zack hummed his agreement. “Say thanks to Mama for sharing.”

“No problem,” Zack smiled and bravely took out a block low on the tower. “Yes! Beat that!” 

“OK,” Trini shrugged and moved a piece barely a quarter of the way down.

“Cheater!” Zack pouted when she put her block on the top without any shake. 

“Work smarter, not harder,” Trini smirked. She looked at the way the wooden pieces were stacked up; they were leaning to the left side pretty hard. “Good luck cuz you breathe too hard and it’s going over.” 

Narrowing his eyes, Zack challenged, “Twenty says I can take a piece from say… here,” he pointed at a block about 60% down from the top, “and it’ll stay up.”

“Pfft, you wish,” Trini scoffed. “It won’t take you moving a piece that far down, not leaning the way it is. You’re gonna put the force in the wrong direction…”

“Ah-ah-ah!” Zack stopped her. “I am a Master Jenga expert, thank you.” Trini rolled her eyes. “Fine, doubt me if you must but I’m gonna be 20 bucks richer in a few seconds.”

Climbing down, Zack sat on the couch correctly and leaned forward to look at the stack. He looked from different angles and then got up to carefully walk around the table and consider an attack from another spot. Unsatisfied, he sat back on the couch and leaned forward again with his elbows on his knees and hands templed in front of his face as he thought. Trini nearly threw her cup at him when he started tapping his fingertips together.

“Today, in this decade,” the Latina teased. “While I’m still young.”

“Shhhh,” Zack hushed her. 

“Damn, sor-ry,” Trini fussed with her hands in the air. “Do your thing, Mr. Master Jenga Expert.”

“Don’t rush me,” Zack told her.

“I’m not but I do have to go home eventually,” she cheeked back. 

Zack glared and refocused on the tower. “All right, I know what I’m doing.”

Trini bit her tongue. Amused, she watched her friend flex his fingers a few times and then slowly start to remove his chosen piece.

“Hey there, let’s do this,” he greeted the block. “That’s it, that’s it… nice and easy. Yeah that’s right; you wanna work to help your Daddy Zack win, dontcha?” Trini made a face. “Come on, that’s it…” The piece came free after a moment of tense anticipation.

Just as Zack went to cheer himself, a loud boom of thunder shook the trailer and startled both teens. The wooden pieces crashed to the coffee table in a loud clatter just as the lights flickered and went out.

Trini burst out laughing. “Ha! You lose, pay up! That’s what you get for calling yourself Daddy Zack.” They both took out their phones and turned the flashlights on.

“Interference!” Zack protested. “I didn’t knock it over; I got my piece out!”

“But you didn’t get it back on top before it collapsed. You lose!” Trini teased with a hand out, flexing her fingers to prompt him to pay her. 

Zack’s jaw dropped. “Unfair! It was the storm!”

“So, what? It was an act of God?” Trini snorted. 

“Yes! I was gonna win that bet but the thunder…!” 

“No excuses!” Trini told him. “And it wasn’t going to stay up anyway. It was inevitable.” 

“Oh come on! That’s not fair!”

“Too bad,” Trini said smugly. “Thems the rules.”

“Rematch! That’s not a clean win. You must want a rematch,” Zack insisted.

“Pay the girl!” Mama Taylor’s voice came from the next room where she had been watching a movie. She added something more at the end in Mandarin that made Zack blush.

“What’d she say?” Trini asked curiously.

“To pay you before you kick my ass,” he said sheepishly. For some reason, it didn’t sound like the truth.

As he reached into his pocket for his wallet, Trini shook her head. “Nah, man, I’m just screwing with you. I mean, you still lost but I know how tight money is for you. Keep it.”

“No, take it,” Zack smiled. “Cuz if I won, I wouldn’t be so nice; I’d want your money.” He handed two tens over to her. 

After a moment, she held them back out to him. “Dude, I owe you for the weed. Keep it and call it even.”

Opening his mouth to tell her that she never had to pay him back for it, Zack stopped and took the money back. Truth was, he needed it and Trini gave him an easy out that didn’t sacrifice his pride. 

“Deal,” he nodded with a thankful look. Trini ignored the look and Zack adored her even more for it. 

“I still won,” Trini declared. “Where’s a flashlight for Mama?”

A bright beam of light came out of Mrs. Taylor’s bedroom, moving side to side as the woman walked towards the door. 

“I always have my own!” she announced as she emerged and carefully turned her light in the teen’s direction. Thankfully, she was considerate and didn’t beam the light in their eyes. “Got one in every room. The neighbors got them for us after that attack on the city. You never know what’s going to happen these days so they wanted to make sure Zack and I could find our way out no matter what.”

Sorrow and guilt drifted over the Ranger link, the source Zack as he dealt with knowing the new emergency plans his mother had developed with the neighbors were in a way, his fault. The Power Rangers were the reason her schedule and way of going about things had to change and as a Ranger, Zack felt bad.

“That was sweet of them,” Trini said truthfully. “It’s good that your neighbors are looking out for you guys.” 

Zack’s entire world was his Mom and hers was him. It was just the two of them for a long time and together they found a way to survive. At least until his mother got sick; after that things fell apart. Thankfully, she was in remission but her body was weak and she needed a bunch of medications to get by. She could no longer work, her disability payments weren’t much, and Mr. Taylor was long gone. She only had to rely on Zack now. 

That responsibility terrified Zack more than anything having to do with evil monsters and saving the world ever could. 

“Yeah,” Zack swallowed, “it is.”

Mrs. Taylor heard her son’s tone of voice and looked at him, her eyes full of adoration. A small woman, she had to reach up to pat his cheek.

“We look out for one another, just as always. Strength and love get us through,” she consoled him. 

“Yes, Mama,” Zack smiled softly back. 

A bright flash of light lit up the interior of the trailer as a bolt of lightning struck somewhere nearby. The nearly simultaneous crash of thunder rattled the windows and made all three flinch. 

“Damn,” Zack whistled. “It’s getting rough out there.”

“I hope that didn’t strike anything,” Mrs. Taylor fretted. “It takes the fire department ages to get here when you call them.”

Zack bit down on his tongue; he felt they took extra time on purpose. His theory was that a lot of the richer folks in Angel Grove (families like Kim’s excluded) didn’t like having a trailer park in the town so they didn’t view it as a priority to save it. He wasn’t even sure that this point of anyone in town would care if the park burned down with all of them lost. It felt that way sometimes. 

While trying to earn a little extra cash, Zack had seen quite a bit of the dirty underhanded dealings going on beneath Angel Grove’s clean surface. He saw a lot of shady things while running a questionable errand or doing an odd job that he’d pick up because the payoff was higher than something simple. It was in those travels that he’d heard comments about the small trailer park being detrimental to the property values in the richer neighborhoods. The classism drove him nuts and their prejudice made them overlook how nice the area was. 

The trailer park was settled a little further away from the busy part of town and on a lot that bordered on a small bird sanctuary. The park itself was well maintained by its owners, with a small trail that went through the wooded area to the sanctuary, and they were going to be installing lights around the lot so it wasn’t so dark at night. Everyone who lived there knew their neighbors and cared about them. Zack loved it, loved the location and the people he grew up around. But he dreamed of being able to get his mother out of their trailer and into a nice apartment. Now that he had a bit of direction and structure as a Ranger with some good friends to help him out, the dream didn’t seem so impossible.

The three turned on the battery powered lights around the trailer as the storm raged around it. 

“Damn, is it, are we actually moving?” Trini wondered when the trailer seemed to sway.

“Only when the wind is this bad,” Mrs. Taylor explained. “So not too often. Don’t worry, Trini, you’re safe.”

“Oh, I know, Mama T, I was just surprised it rattled so much,” Trini said. “I didn’t know the storm was supposed to be this bad.”

Zack leaned forward and looked outside the window. It was nearly pitch black with what looked like sheets of water coming down sideways. With the power out, there was only bright flashes of lightning for illumination. “It wasn’t but I think it hit another storm and they went super Saiyan on us.”

The radio buzzed to life as Mrs. Taylor turned it on.

“Xxzzzznditions include unusually rough seas, high winds, and powerful thunderstorms making seafaring navigation difficult. Due to thick fog, visibility is down to a few meters. The Coast Guard has announced that they are prepared to dispatch ships should any calls for assistance come in from local fishermen and other vessels in the area…”

“Timing,” Trini muttered.

“Damn, I hope Jason’s Dad isn’t out there,” Zack worried. 

“Doesn’t feel like it,” Trini whispered lowly while Mrs. Taylor was out of earshot. “I think we’d feel that over the link.” 

“Yeah, good point. He feels anxious but not freaked out,” Zack agreed. He took out his phone and sent a quick text to their blonde friend. “Just checking on him.”

Trini hid her smile; Jason and Zack continued to clash occasionally and it sometimes became tense between them. Jason was learning to lead and wasn’t as diplomatic or calm as he wished he were so he stepped on some toes trying to figure it out. Zack didn’t like being told what to do or feeling like his ideas and opinions were being disregarded so he acted out when he felt slighted. Both were strong, independent young men trying to figure out their places in the world and in their shared situation. 

But they were becoming good friends and it showed.

On the counter, Mrs. Taylor’s phone began to ring. “Hello? Hi Evelyn! Yes, we’re without power too. Oh? Are you sure? We don’t want to be a bother… all right then. We’ll be over in a few minutes, have to find an umbrella first. Ok, see you soon.” 

Mrs. Taylor hung up her phone and looked at the teens. “Evelyn from around the corner has invited us over. They have a generator so they still have lights. Evelyn said everyone was welcome if you two want to go.” 

“Hang on, Mama, I’m waiting for Jason to text. I messaged Jason to see if he and his Dad were safe. He might need something.”

“You’re such good friends to have, both of you,” Mrs. Taylor remarked. “Although I hate the thought of you out in this storm.” 

“I have to go home eventually,” Trini shrugged. 

“I’m sure your parents would understand if you were to get stuck either here or at the Scott house.” Trini kept her remark ‘you don’t know my family’ to herself. “I’m going to go pack a small bag and get my medications.”

“The red bag is already packed on the left side of your closet,” Zack told her absently. At Trini’s curious look, he shrugged. “I always have a bag or two prepared for her in case she needs to go to the hospital or something real fast.” 

Nodding her understanding, Trini thought of her own bag packed away in her closet where her parents would hopefully not find it. A sense of paranoia about her living situation had started after the first time her mother had threatened to throw her from the house because of her sexuality. Plus, with the rate at which they moved, it seemed like she never had a chance to truly unpack to begin with. 

The habit of stashing a grab-and-go bag had started with her packing some clothes and the small things that really mattered to her or that she bought herself. If she had to leave fast, they were things she couldn’t bear to leave behind. Then, as things didn’t improve at home, she started collecting more of her belongings that she wanted, no longer limiting herself to gifts and necessities. Now, she had a suitcase ready to go if the worst ever did happen. It hurt to pack it but it gave her a sense of safety at the same time. This way, her mother could take her home away but she couldn’t take the material possessions that mattered to Trini too.

The chime of Zack’s phone brought her out of her thoughts. A fast blast of worry shot through her when Zack’s eyebrows jumped up and a pulse of deep concern came across the link from him.

“He says his Dad came in early today to stay ahead of the storm but there are a few other boats that got caught. They’re worried about them getting in safely. No one was expecting the storm to turn like this.”

“Do you think…?” Trini trailed off not wanting to put her fear into words.

“That it’s Rita? Nah, I mean, Alpha and Wall-Dad would let us know, right?”

Zack had barely finished speaking when both teens felt a slight vibration from their communicator watch. The two secret super-heroes exchanged an uneasy look as their phones echoed the action. 

Zack winced as he checked the message. “Shit, a mayday call came in from a ship; it’s sinking with a fairly large crew on it.”

“At least it’s not  _ her _ . We’re headed out there?” Trini wondered, not that she didn’t want to go; it was just surprising to her. But she wanted to leave right then and get out there. “It’s not exactly a galactic threat but let’s go!”

“I’m all set,” Mrs. Taylor announced as she walked back in, startling Zack and Trini. They shot another look at one another wondering how much she heard. “Are you going to Jason’s?” 

“Yeah, after we walk you to Evelyn’s,” Zack nodded. “We’re gonna go lend him and his Dad a hand at the marina.”

“You two be careful! I know Sam Scott with look after you but watch out for yourselves, and each other.” Walking up to her son, she indicated for him to lean down and she kissed the top of his head. It was sweet to watch. “Thank you for coming over today, Trini. I always enjoy seeing you and spending time with you, even if you are terrible at chess,” Mrs. Taylor smirked.

‘No problem, I…” Trini frowned as the end of the older woman’s sentence registered. “Hey! You said I’m getting better!” she laughed.

“You are, dear, but it’s slow going,” Mrs. Taylor joked. “You’ve at least stopped calling the Bishops ‘little nippley things’.”

Trini felt herself flush bright red. “I only did that once,’ she squeaked. Glaring at Zack, who was laughing loudly, she sighed. “I see where you get it from now.” 

“All-natural,” Zack grinned widely. “Come on, we gotta get going.”

-

The five Rangers met up at the Ship not long after. Kim greeted Trini with a huge smile after she landed under the mirror pool and shook out her hair. She made no mention of how it looked like the Latina was waiting for her to get there. 

“Some storm, huh? I had to go off-road on my street; a huge tree came down over the road,” Kim said. “Thankfully, I just had new tires put on my car.” 

Trini laughed, imagining what Kim’s version of ‘off-road’ must be given that she drove an old BMW. “Your neighbor’s manicured lawn is not off-roading,” she teased. 

“Mud is mud,” Kim said sagely as they walked into the Command Center. “They’re gonna be so pissed. Crap, am I the last one here?” Trini nodded. “Sorry.”

Trini opened her mouth to jokingly ask what took so long since Kim lived the closest to the Ship but she was cut off.

“No matter,” Zordon intoned. “A large fishing vessel named the Eloise Joy is sinking off the coast with a crew of 15 onboard. The intense weather is making it too dangerous for the Coast Guard to send out helicopters for the time being. They have sent out rescue ships but there is a chance that they will not reach the crew in time for rescue. While it’s not an attack on the planet, I feel the Power Rangers should help.”

“Yeah, and I agreed,” Jason nodded. “The storm; it’s natural, right? No Rita messing with it?”

“Affirmative,” Alpha 5 spoke up. “There is no indication that this storm is anything but the result of weather patterns. Well, that and climate change but Rita’s not responsible for that.” The android paused, “That I know of, at least.”

“Ok, so what’s the plan?” Trini asked. 

“Yeah, let’s get going,” Zack said on top of Trini. The smallest Ranger glared at him. That was twice she was spoken over.

_ All right, I’ll just get louder,  _ she vowed.

“Kim, Alpha says your Zord can shift to fit a second passenger in the cockpit and it has a cargo bay too. It’s better equipped to fly in this weather so you and Zack are going to go out in it and start the search with the Zord. You’ll get there way faster than any of the CG’s ships. If…” he stopped and cleared his throat, “when you find the crew, load them into the cargo bay. It’ll be a bit cramped for that many guys but it won’t be for long.”

“Does P’Terry have the equipment we need?” Kim asked, already in ‘game mode’. 

“If by P’Terry you mean your Pterodactyl Zord, then yes,” Alpha said with a note of confusion. “All needed rescue equipment including medical units capable of full resuscitation are in the cargo bay. Full resuscitation within reason, of course. If someone’s been deceased for a while then even our technology can’t help them. As you learned when you returned with Master Billy’s…”

“Anything else I should know?” Kim cut the android off as they all winced at the memory of temporarily losing Billy. They may have gotten him back but it was still traumatizing. 

“I’ve programmed the environmentals in the bay to be as comfortable and warm as possible for the fishermen. There are also towels, fresh blankets, and fresh clothing for them to use.”

“Where did you get the clothes?” Zack asked.

“Wow, you thought of everything,” Trini whistled. “Awesome.”

“Master Billy and I pre-prepared!” Alpha said excitedly. “We always have spare clothes around now that you all spend so much time in here. And Master Billy has been kind enough to search for appropriate items at the stores you call  _ Goodwill _ . Appropriate name!”

When his friends all looked at him, Billy gave a small awkward wave. “I don’t like that we can’t help other places, but we  _ can _ help Angel Grove. There are other things aside from people like Rita that the town might need help with. So sometimes Alpha and I think up possible scenarios that the Rangers can help with. You know, just in case.”

“Don’t steal my clothes, Alpha,” Kim warned. 

If an automaton could look nervous, it would resemble Alpha 5 at that moment. A quiet beep of acknowledgement carried through the air.

“Good thinking, dude,” Zack congratulated Billy. “Our Boy Scout, always prepared.”

“Thanks! But I was never a Boy Scout. I was a Cub Scout, briefly but no one wanted to or would talk to me or be my partner. I don’t think the kids wanted me in their troop because I’m on the spectrum. So I left and my Mom and Dad put me in computer classes instead. I liked that much better.”

“Ok,” Zack said with a shake of his head and a fond smile. The same expression was on the other faces too. 

“You and Alpha were planning ahead?” Jason redirected Billy back to the task at hand.

“Yes! We think of the bad things that can happen, like earthquakes, mudslides, and things like this. Then we prepare a strategy to deal with it,” Billy explained. “We try to think of all contingencies although that’s rather impossible. But we try. Oh, and they’re not our action plans, though. Not for the team- not unless Jason likes the plan. He’s our leader so he makes the plans, not me.” He looked at Jason nervously, hoping that he hadn’t overstepped some boundary. “They-they’re just suggestions.”

Feeling that nervousness over their link, Jason gave his friend a very brief pat on the shoulder; he’d temporarily overlooked Billy’s aversion to touch. “Sorry,” he quickly apologized for invading Billy’s space. “But what you’ve done? It’s a great idea and it puts us ahead of the game today, Billy. I trust your judgment; just give me copies of what you’re doing so I can tweak the plan if need be.”

Everyone ignored the android muttering under his ‘breath’ about his judgement not being that bad either.

“Sure! We can go over them together too.” 

“Right. What’s the rest of the plan?” Jason asked him. He knew the answer but asked because he loved how animated Billy got when he was engaged in Ranger things. The positive energy Billy expressed hyped Jason up as well.

“Oh! Ok. Kim and Zack, you’ll go out in Kim’s Zord to look for the ship and rescue the fishermen. You’ll be out there long before anyone else so if we hurry, we might save everyone. At the same time, Jason and Trini will take the yellow Zord out to search for them from on the water. Two positions to look from.”

“Double your luck,” Kim quipped.

“Uh, how?” Trini asked. “Last I checked, Soledad didn’t fly or float.”

“The sabertooth tiger Zord is amphibious and capable of transforming itself into a vessel that will reach the coordinates of the Eloise Joy much faster than any human-made ship on Earth,” Alpha explained proudly. “If you happen upon survivors, they can be loaded on board. All the necessary equipment and amenities that are aboard Master Kim’s Zord are also on yours, Master Trini.”

“Soledad can do that?” Trini breathed in wonder. “Wow!”

“Yeah, wow,” Kim agreed.

“Uhm, I’ll, er…” Billy stammered. 

“Billy’s going to hang back here and coordinate with the Coast Guard for us,” Jason jumped in to save Billy from having to voice it. The Blue Ranger was feeling unnecessarily guilty. 

Unable to face his friends, Billy looked down and away.

“Good plan,” Trini opined. 

Kim tilted her head. “Hey, no one’s mad at you, Billy,” she said softly. She almost didn’t need their link to feel his shame; it was radiating from him. Plus, given her issues with fire she sympathized with how uncomfortable he was. 

_ At least I haven’t had to face any fire again. Ug, yet. Because that day’s gonna come and it’s gonna suck ass.  _

Kim had hoped to be doing better with her fear of fire by now, a few weeks removed from their big battle but she wasn’t. If she isn’t careful and lets her mind wander too far on the nights she can’t sleep, Kim can again feel the flames licking at her armor/skin-by then, there wasn’t much difference. Not in all that unbearable heat.

She continued going to their bonfire nights and staying silent about how the firepit bothered her and she wished it were smaller because she thought it would help her cope. Instead, it just gave her nightmares and kept Trini awake. 

“I don’t like the ocean,” the Blue Ranger said quietly, breaking Kim from her thoughts. 

“Yo, we don’t blame you on that,” Zack said honestly. “I wouldn’t either.” 

Slowly, Billy began to lift his head to look at his friends. The only thing he could feel over their link was acceptance. His shoulders relaxed a little.

“It’s all good, Billy. I think you’ve got the hard part dealing with the Coast Guard,” Trini pointed out. “You couldn’t pay me to deal with that kinda crap.”

“I actually chose you to stay behind because I know you’ll keep us safe,” Jason told him. “You know more about the terminology and stuff that the Coast Guard will use and you can explain what we’re doing better than I can.”

Finally, Billy let out a breath of relief and smiled. “No one’s mad that I’m scared to go?”

“Would you go if we needed you?” Kim asked.

“In a second! No, a nanosecond. My Zord can turn into a ship too but it’s the slowest in that form. But I’d get there as fast as I could!”

“Then you’re not scared,” Trini finished Kim’s thought. “You’re needed here to guide us. So let’s get going.”

“Right!” Billy agreed. “The Zords are all ready to go.”

“I prepped the Zords when the storm started- for practice, like your battle training!” Alpha said happily. “I didn’t think you’d need to use them but they’re ready.”

“Hurry and get going, Rangers,” Zordon encouraged. “And good luck.”

After morphing, they approached the Zords. Zack couldn’t contain his excitement. 

“I get to ride in another Zord! Sweet!” he yelled happily. “I get to fly! Oh! Can I drive?”

“Hell no,” Kim scoffed. Zack lowered his visor and pouted at her. “As cute as your pouty face is, P’Terry is my baby; no one drives her but me.”  _ And it’s no match to Trini’s pouty face. If she shot that look at me, I’d probably let her drive P’Terry. _

_ So fucking whipped and I don’t know what to do. Shit.  _

_ “Mind on the matter at hand, Kimberly”,  _ she ‘heard’ her mother’s voice tell her. She made a face; the last thing Kim wanted was for her inner voice to sound like her mother.

“Awwww,” Zack whined. “But I wanna.”

“Sorry, not sorry. Get in the back.” Zack slid into his chair and immediately started looking around. “And don’t touch anything,” Kim warned him. “I’m pretty sure I can ejector seat your ass if you do.”

“Aww, but Princess, there are so many new buttons to push,” he said longingly. “Lemme touch just one…”

“No,” Kim laughed as they took off. “You can push the buttons on the rescue equipment when we find the ship.”

“Cool,” Zack grinned. 

Inside the Sabertooth Tiger Zord, Trini was giving similar commands to her passenger. 

“Leader or not, you’re not driving her,” she warned. 

“I’m not stupid; I know better than to ask,” Jason reassured her. He hadn’t put his visor up so Trini could see the wry grin on his face. 

“And don’t touch anything, either.”

“Got it,” Jason agreed. The temptation was intense but he held back. 

“You ready to go, girl?” Trini asked her Zord, swearing that she could ‘hear’ an answering purr that said she was ready. “So you change into a boat, huh? I want to check that out. You set, Kim?”

“Good to go!” Kim answered. “Be careful.” 

Kim said the last part as a message to her entire team but there was a note to it that was new and to Trini at least, it seemed to hint at something deeper.

Trini hoped that Jason didn’t see her blush. “You too.”

“All right, we’ll meet up at the last known coordinates,” Jason ordered. “Let’s go!”

Bursting out of the caves, Kim’s Zord went up through the rain into the sky. Meanwhile, Trini’s Zord raced across the ground to get to town and out into the water. It felt like it was barely touching the ground as they sped to the shore.

“I think I’ve got the sonar over here,” Jason told her as a screen popped up on the dash in front of him. “Yeah, it’s all the sensor readouts so you can concentrate on driving in the storm.”

“Great. Those buttons you can touch,” Trini said with a small giggle. She couldn’t help it; she loved being in her Zord. It was amazing to move so fast and feel so powerful. Like the joy of freedom they could all feel over their link coming from Kim, Trini felt her own sense of giddy excitement.

A small pull on the link let her know Kim could feel her happiness as well. Their positive emotions were a good balance to the nerves they all had when they went into action.

Within minutes she and Jason were arriving at the shore at Shipbreaker Cove, a long-abandoned and destroyed lighthouse where ships once used to dock before the existing marina was built further down the shore. Too many shipwrecks in the cove gave it its name and were the reason why it was eventually abandoned in favor of the safer harbor a few miles down into the bay.

Hitting a series of buttons that she somehow knew were right, Trini initiated the transformation sequence and in seconds her Zord was seaworthy.

“Oh that is so awesome,” she breathed in awe. She didn’t like the ocean or the cold feel of rain any more than Billy did but as the Zord eased into the water and began to cut effortlessly through the tumultuous waves, she felt completely safe. It was a relief.

“OK, we’re in the water now,” Jason announced over the comms.

“Copy,” Billy chirped back.

“Copy,” Zack repeated from his seat behind Kim. He looked out the window as the Zord accelerated and rose, heading up through the clouds. The storm was so bad that most of the power in Angel Grove was out and it was hard for him to spot any landmarks or buildings. “Wow, ok, we are waaaay far up.”

“You sound scared,” Kim teased playfully.

“Nervous is different than scared, thank you very much,” Zack protested.

“So noted. Start watching the screen; I’m going above the storm and then heading out to avoid the wind. I’ll let you know when we pass over water.”

“Got it,” Zack confirmed, slipping into his own ‘work’ groove. “Billy, have you sent the most recent coordinates of where they were going down?”

“Affirmative,” Billy reported back. “They should be loading now. There’s no more radio contact with the ship. Their last transmission said they were getting in their suits and onto the life rafts. But this storm isn’t going to let the rafts stay afloat very long.”

“I’ve got the coordinates,” Zack told him. “Pink, head to the West.” He felt the Zord smoothly shift as Kim directed it. “Great. We’re on a straight line to them.”

“Over water now. Maybe 3-4 minutes until we get to the coordinates,” Kim reported. 

“I contacted the Coast Guard and once they got over their, uh, shock and disbelief, they said to stay away. I told them no, we couldn’t do that,” Billy explained from the Command Center where he was in his armor. “They’re not happy and think we’ll get in the way.”

“Ungrateful asses,” Zack muttered.

“Can’t blame them,” Jason shrugged. “They don’t know us and it’s an emergency; they want a sense of control.”

“Descending from above the clouds and switching on the searchlights,” Kim announced. “We’ll be onsite in thirty seconds.” The Zord rocked a little as it exited the cloud layer into the storm. “Damn,” Kim swore. “Wasn’t expecting the wind to pull like that. OK, I’ll keep a lookout visually and put us in a 10-mile circle to start. If we don’t come up with anything, we’ll expand out.” 

“Are we low enough?” Zack wondered. 

Kim considered this and lowered the Zord closer to the water. Unfortunately, it buffeted the Zord a bit more, making it sway when Kim tried to hover. 

Zack’s stomach rolled with it. “Shouldn’t have eaten those chili dogs earlier,” he groaned.

“Don’t you vomit in my Zord!” Kim commanded. 

“I won’t,” Zack reassured her. “I’ll vomit inside my helmet.”

“Good, that’s better.”

“Thanks,” Zack snorted. “Hey, just picked up a ping.”

“I see it,” Billy called out. “It’s their ESA sending out the SOS. Survivors might be in the water as you approach that signal.”

“Got it,” Kim told him.

“We’re still more than 10 minutes out,” Jason informed his team, “and just came up on the main Coast Guard ship. I’m gonna try talking to them again.”

“Good luck,” Zack scoffed. 

A few tense minutes passed until Kim spotted a flash from the right side of her window. “Hey, two o’clock. Do you see that light flashing?”

“I sure do!” Zack smiled. Looking at his screen, his smile turned to an elated grin. “It’s a lifeboat! I read five lifeforms. Uh, yeah, humans.”

“Did you hear that?” Kim double-checked with her team. After getting confirmation, she went on, “I’m going to get as close as I safely can. Zack, slide out to the back and get ready.”

“Slide?” Zack questioned. 

“Yeah, I mean, did you see a door when you got in?”

“Uh, no,” Zack remembered. They’d gotten in by climbing into the open cockpit. He looked around in confusion.

“Your one chance to push a button in here and you can’t even find it” Kim tsked. 

“What?” Zack started scouring the panel with his eyes. “Which one?” A blinking blue light drew his attention. After he pressed it, a circular vent opened up on the wall behind him. “Ah, I see. Use the BatSlide.” He swiveled his chair and hopped down the slide feet first with a delighted whoop.

Onboard the Yellow Zord, Jason tried to explain what they were doing to an angry Coast Guard Commander.

“Our scanners are better than yours and our ships are faster. We just want to help,” he said over the communication link. 

“We have procedures that must be followed…” the Commander began.

“Dude, we’re here to rescue people who are gonna die if you don’t get there fast enough,” Trini pointed out in a matter-of-fact tone. She switched to their internal comms. “We don’t have time to screw around with these guys or play nice.” 

Kim announced that she and Zack had found a boat with 5 survivors as Trini finished speaking. 

“See?” she asked.

Beside her, Jason nodded. “Thank God,” he prayed before he turned on communications with the Coast Guard again. “We understand you have your way of doing that; we respect that. We’re only here to help, not take over. Two members of my team have recovered 5 of the fishermen in a lifeboat. They’re bringing them aboard their ship now.”

There was a long pause before the Coast Guard Commander responded. “Understood. Good work. Please send us the coordinates of where they were found so we can verify their location and adjust our course if need be.”

“Nice tone change,” Trini snorted to Jason. 

“Pink, can you send those coordinates?” Jason called out.

“On it.”

“I’ve loaded two crew members,” Zack informed them over the comm. “It’s going smoothly but they’re shocked it’s us. Shocked and grateful.”

“It’s a giant flying pink dinosaur!” Kim reminded him from the cockpit. “Not exactly a Coast Guard helicopter.”

“True. Three,” Zack counted the third crew member as he was fully into the cargo bay. The last was already on the automated lift. “There’s some towels and warming blankets over there, guys. Just take a seat and try to get comfortable. We’re gonna stay out looking for everyone else.”

“Bless you,” one of the men said gratefully. “It’s so warm in here. Thank you.” He wrapped himself in a thermal blanket and let out a long sigh of pleasure at the heat seeping in. “Thank God.”

“Yeah man, thanks,” another echoed. He was already wrapped in a thermal. “I’m a little stiff and cold but do you need any help with that?” he asked.

“I won’t say no to an extra hand helping me get your guys aboard. We might be able to move faster,” Zack agreed. 

“Names Nate. Tell me what to do,” Nate said, stepping forward. The other two men, still soaking wet and bitterly cold stepped forward as well. 

Behind his helmet, Zack smiled proudly. He shouldn’t have expected any less. “All right, you just gotta help them into the bay once they’re at the top.” Nate and the others nodded. “Let’s get these guys on board.”

Minutes later, Trini and Jason arrived on the scene. 

“We didn’t see anything between here and there,” Trini told Kim and Zack from below where Kim’s Zord was hovering. 

“Wait! What’s that at 7 o’clock?” Jason asked urgently. 

“A flare,” Kim recognized. “Headed there.” Moments later, she spotted a liftboat that was taking on water and going down. Three crew members were clinging what remained of it. “I have a visual. Three survivors.”

“That’s 8,” Jason counted. “We’re still missing 7 but this is good. We’ll be right there.”

“We’re pulling them up,” Zack said as he and Nate lowered the lift equipment down. They weren’t very high above the water and the Zord’s lights were bright so the men in the water could see who was rescuing them. 

One of the men was gesturing wildly downward into the water. 

Looking down at the men, Nate scanned to see who was there. “That’s Mike’s group. There were four in that boat.”

“Shit, I think someone went under,” Zack swore. “Pink, you want me to go look?”

Although she didn’t like the idea of swimming in the middle of the ocean during a storm, Kim shook her head. “I’ll go and leave P’Terry on auto. She knows what to do.” Kim was pretty sure their Zords were at least minimally sentient and her words brought an answering chirp from her dashboard. “I knew you’d have my back. Just stay as even as you can. I’ll be right back.” 

Switching back to the comms, Kim opened her cockpit and stood up. “Headed down,” she informed her team as a myriad of external lights came on throughout her suit. “Ok, that’s awesome.”

_ This is higher than my cliff but the armor should help with the impact, _ Kim tried to reassure herself.  _ Then again, the armor is part of me, so… Meh, what the worst that could happen? I shatter my neck and sink to the bottom. Here we go! _

At the helm of her own Zord, Trini was not happy. “Don’t we have a probe or something that can look instead?” 

“This is faster,” Kim responded. “Alley-oop!” 

Flashes of lightning lit up the sky in streaks of bright light. In the illumination, Trini caught sight of something plummeting from Kim’s Zord towards the water. Her stomach dropped with it. Although she knew Kim was a good diver, she couldn’t breathe the entire time she watched Kim fall. She was still holding her breath as they all waited for Kim to say something.

“Pink?” Billy called out nervously. “Are you ok?”

“It is daarrk under here,” came Kim’s voice moments later. “My scanners and I are looking…”

“Stay safe!” Billy said nervously. The thought of all that darkness under the water made him shiver. It made bile burn the back of Trini’s throat.

“It’s so freaking dark,” Kim repeated. It didn’t help that she’d hit the water slightly wrong and the impact made her head ring. She had never jumped from so high before and thanked the Grid for the protection from her helmet. “The lights on my suit are great and the sensors are seeing so much more but this is… I’m not liking it. Just for the record.” A pause. “What kind of fish is that? It’s hideous.” Another pause. “If I get eaten by a shark I’m going to be very upset.”

“She’s anxious,” Jason remarked, “and doing that thing where she thinks out loud.”

“Yeah but I don’t blame her. She’s deep underwater in the middle of the ocean during a cyclone or something. I don’t wanna think about what it’s like down there. I don’t like it when a pool is too deep for me to touch the bottom even if I can see it.”

“So you don’t like normal pools? You prefer those little kiddie pools?” Kim’s voice came back in a teasing tone. 

Trini groaned as she realized she left her end of the comm open.

“Really? A short joke?” she complained. Anyone else and she would have been livid, with Kim she was getting used to it and knew there was no ill-intent in the comments. 

_ She probably needs the distraction so I’ll let it go. I must like her if I’m going to keep excusing her strange version of short jokes.  _

“Yeah, mind on the job, Pink; there’s a man’s life in danger,” Jason refocused them.

“On it!” Kim’s end cut off. 

Using the boosters in her boots, she found that they worked on water pressure and they propelled her swiftly through the water. Every few meters, she sent out another burst of small underwater flares to light her surroundings up even further. 

As she searched, the silence along with the darkness started to wear on her. Feelings of claustrophobia, something Kim didn’t have much of a problem with, started to creep in along with a desperation to find the missing man and get to the surface as fast as possible. A small whimper caught in the back of her throat from the feelings of isolation and while she was happy that her commlink was closed so no one heard it, she also wished someone would say something.

A few moments later, Trini had to interrupt the quiet. “Jase, Zack just told Billy the names of the fisherman they pulled up. Do you know anyone?”

“Not any of them but I dunno about the rest. I didn’t want to check the crew manifest that Billy got because I didn’t want it to affect my decisions.”

“Ah. Makes sense.”

Time seemed to drag on.

“Come on, come on,” Jason whispered under his breath as they waited. The stakes in this mission were the highest and the team wanted to save everyone. But Jason felt an even larger sense of responsibility because he grew up on the marina around the boats and the crew of the sunken ship were probably people he knew. He desperately wanted to return them all safely home so that the town wouldn’t suffer more tragedy. There were lives lost in the battle with Rita and he didn’t want to let it happen again.

“Got him!” came Kim’s excited call. She adjusted the power of her boosters to go faster and assist her ascent. “Surfacing. Black, have the CPR stuff ready to go; he’s out. But the water’s freezing so you might get him back.”

“We will. I’ve got two guys on the lift to help you up and two more ready to take him off your hands. The medical unit is ready,” Zack answered seriously. “Blue, let the CG know we’ve got some injuries, mostly cuts and broken bones but they should be ready for it. I’ll let you know about this guy.”

“Copy.” 

Moving quickly, the team of crew and Power Rangers got the fallen fisherman onboard. 

“We got this Pink; get back upfront and keep looking,” Zack suggested. He was hooking up a defibrillator to the man’s chest as he spoke. “We’ll get him back.”

Nodding, Kim left the cargo bay, vaulted onto the top of the Zord and walked carefully back down towards the nose. The winds buffeted her and the rain made the walk slick; she slipped once and was thankful for her balance training in gymnastics as well as the thunk her boots made when their slightly magnetic soles activated. 

_ God, I love this suit! _

She had to admit that this scenario wasn’t something she ever considered during gymnastics, though. It was wild and Kim loved it. 

A bolt of lightning struck the tail of her Zord followed by another, nearly striking Kim, the tallest thing on the ship. Bright bolts of electricity arced across the ship and moved up around Kim’s suit, starting at her feet. She yelped as it overwhelmed the suit’s capacity and gave her a minor shock.

The pain from the shock traveled over the Ranger link. “What was that?” Jason asked worriedly.

“You ok?” Trini echoed. She was already planning how she’d go out and get Kim if the Pink Ranger was hurt and fell back into the water. The rain would not be an issue.

“I think we were just hit by lightning, fuck,” Zack swore. “Pink, talk to us.”

“Oh no,” Billy gasped.

A groan was in her lungs but Kim breathed out slowly. “My teeth are rattling,” she said calmly in an attempt to pacify her friends, “and I feel a little strange but I’m ok. Going back inside.”

Once up front, she opened the cockpit again and hopped down into her seat.

“Back in my seat,” she said as the cockpit sealed shut. Her arms and legs were trembling slightly but she wasn’t sure if it was from adrenaline or the lightning.

“Good job, Pink,” Jason commented. “Are you ok?”

“A little rattled,” Kim admitted honestly. “The dive was fine but the lightning I could have skipped.”

From her Zord, Trini silently wondered if the lightning had been hot even through the armor.  _ I’ll have to make a point to ask and keep an eye out for any problems she might be having if it was. I need to pay attention cuz she hides things too well  _

“According to Alpha and Zordon, our suits are made to handle electric shocks like that.”

“It didn’t handle all of it. That stung,” Kim griped. 

“You did receive two lightning strikes in quick succession. Although, I must admit that after 65 million years of dormancy the suits may need updating in a lot of ways…” Alpha confessed meekly. “I’ll put it on the list.”

“Scans show an elevated pulse, breathing, and a jump in electrical energy throughout Pink’s body,” Billy read the screen tracking the results on the scans of his fellow Ranger’s present medical conditions. 

“No shit,” Kim muttered to herself as she shook out her hands again trying to dispel the extra energy which felt like it was sparking across the ‘skin’ of her armor. 

“You’ll be fine!” Alpha cheered. Kim rolled her eyes. 

The click of their private channel opening echoed. “OK, we got 10 live guys! And I need to pay better attention when Alpha gives us medical training cuz this isn’t just a defibrillator, it’s some Star Trek level shit. It sent tubes up the guy’s nose and down his mouth and pumped all the water out of his lungs and stomach. Now it’s changed and working as an oxygen mask to help him. The dude is awake and responding to his buddies,” Zack said in amazement. “I was not expecting him to sit up like that. I almost peed my armor and I don’t want to know what happens if I do that.”

“The suits will…” Billy began innocently.

“I said I don’t wanna know!” Zack repeated. 

“That’s awesome news, Black,” Jason chimed in, the relief in his voice thick. “Great job. He’ll be going back to his family tonight.”

“Damn right,” Zack agreed proudly. He missed this, actual action that could help people. It’s not that Zack wanted bad things to happen in Angel Grove; he didn’t. But his inability to help his mother with her illness made him want to do more for the people he could help, particularly as a Power Ranger. The downtime without battles was preferred since anything else meant aliens were attacking but he was excited to do some good now that he had the power, he felt, to make a difference. 

He heard his Mother’s voice in his head reminding him that anyone could make a difference if they cared and he smiled.  _ I wish I could tell her about this. She’d be so proud and happy. Maybe someday, who knows? _

“The Coast Guard is changing their mind about us,” Billy piped in happily. “They said since these two groups were found so close to where the ship was last reported, to move out slowly from the area. Very slowly. And they’re ready to take the survivors onto their ship once they get to you which shouldn’t be too long. They’re running all out to get there.”

“Fantastic, Blue. Glad you’re having an easier time with them now,” Jason told him. “Tell them the guy who went underwater is alive and awake if you haven’t already.”

“They’re very happy about that and said ‘Good job’ to Pink and Black for that rescue,” Billy smiled. No one could see him but he was also proud of his friends.  _ I’m going to beat my fear of water,  _ he thought firmly. _ I’m afraid to ask for help though. But, then again, they weren’t upset with me earlier, they said they weren’t and I trust them. So maybe they’ll say ‘yes’ if I ask. Yeah, they will. They have my back. _

“The guys we just picked up say they saw one of the liferaft’s beacon lights moving north. I’m headed that way in a low, slow hover,” Kim reported. 

“The ESA is going east so we’ll go that way,” Trini answered back. 

The floodlights on the tiger Zord were lighting up the darkness almost like daylight same as Kim’s Zord was from the sky. 

_ There’s no way we can miss them, _ Trini knew.  _ If we don’t find them then that means… _ She sighed in worry.

“You ok?” Jason questioned gently. “I know you don’t like saltwater much more than Billy does.”

Trini shook her head. “It’s not that. I’m fine in here where it’s dry. No, I was thinking about the guys we haven’t found. And their families.”

“Yeah, me too,” Jason added solemnly. “I probably know some of these guys so I have this  _ need _ to find them, you know?”

“We’ll find them,” the Yellow Ranger assured him.

“We have to.”

Trini agreed completely.

“Nothing other than debris but we’re in the right place.” Kim needed to say something, the silence that was growing longer was killing her nerves. 

“Same here. I set out catchers,” as they were called on her panel, “to pick the stuff up and put it in the cargo bay,” Trini added. 

“Ok, there’s the ESA. I’m gonna take the lift down and grab it,” Zack told everyone.

“Ok,” Jason acknowledged. 

“Red, you see that?” Trini squinted out her window. “I can’t tell if it’s debris blowing around in the wind or…”

Jason directed light in the area Trini was pointing to. After a second or two, his face broke out into a smile. “That’s someone waving their arm so we’d see them in the light!”

“Sweet!” Trini cheered. “11.” 

“They’re hanging onto debris and I can’t imagine how tired he is with all the waves. We have to hurry.” He got up and headed to the back to go outside and get the man on board.

“Deploying ramp and coming to a stop,” Trini let him know.

“Eagle-eyes,” Kim’s voice teased over a private comm between the two of them.

“Hell yeah,” Trini replied smugly. “How’re you feeling, er, doing with flying in the storm? So far Soledad’s been a smooth ride. Not rocking so much I want to barf, at least.”

“Other than God trying to smote me… is it smote me or smite me? Whichever. Other than that it’s just been a few bumps and some rocking but it’s mostly when I’m hovering. This rain is nasty though.”

“Yeah, I can’t imagine being in the water. It’s gotta be freezing too…”

“The reading in my helmet said high 30s… Uh, hang on, Trin; I think I see something.” Kim cut off the line and turned her Zord to the right slightly. “Holy shit!”

It was what remained afloat of the Eloise Joy. Kim thought the whole thing went down since there was so much stuff in the water but there it was, tipped onto its side in a way that the missing men were on the hull. 

“Black, we’re right over it.”

“We see it!”

“That’s sheer dumb luck,” Kim heard one of the men say over the open commlink which Zack had opened to tell the survivors.

“One, two, three, aaaaand... yes! All four! We’ve got them all!” Zack cheered from the cargo bay door. The whoops and shouts of happiness from the men with him also came over the link.

“YES! Oh my God, that is awesome!” Jason could barely contain himself as the relief he felt hit all the Rangers, adding to their own. “Oh God, thank God.”

Agreeing, Trini did the sign of the cross and sent a silent prayer thanking God for looking over the crew until they got there. She didn’t follow her family’s religion, at least not as her mother did. Even her father’s more relaxed views were stronger than her own when it came to the teachings of the Bible. It was hard to get behind something that teaches you that you’re to be punished for being who you are.

Still, it didn’t mean she didn’t believe or that she wasn’t thankful for whatever being (if there was one and she’s bet there was given the intensity of the storm the crew survived) watched over the men. 

“Oh my gosh, I’m so happy I’m hard,” Zack stopped and cleared his throat. He slammed a hand over his mouth but hit his helmet instead. It had totally slipped when his mouth engaged before his brain.  _ Oh my God, kill me. _ “Uhm… heeeyyy” he pretended to greet his friends. “I’m kidding, you know that, right? OK, yeah, just forget I spoke, thanks.”

The rest of his team all groaned loudly over the comm at him.

“Sorry! It slipped,” he whined. 

“You ruined a wholesome moment, dumbass,” Trini scolded sarcastically.

“Oh my God, you perv,” Kim moaned although her smile could be heard. 

“I’m sorry!” Zack insisted.

“I can’t believe you said ‘gosh’,” Jason teased.

“I’m still enjoying the wholesome moment,” Billy chimed in. “I didn’t understand what he meant at first but by the time I realized it, I was too happy to be too grossed out. Although I am. Grossed out, I mean.” His happiness was making him babble slightly. “If that happens a lot, you should probably see a doctor about overexcitability.”

Uproarious laughter erupted over the comms from Jason, Kim, and Trini. 

“I… I can’t tell if he’s roasting me or not,” Zack pouted. “OK, just a sec, guys… yeah, yeah we’ve got them aboard. All five are inside and getting blankets. Holy shit we did it!” 

“Give me a headcount?” Jason asked. 

They all listened as Zack counted and then the men all listed their names. Jason recognized a few and felt himself choke up when Billy verified that it was the complete crew manifest.

_ We did it. We really did it! This is what this job is about. This right here. And we worked as a team so well! Aww, man, this is… God, I can’t believe we pulled it off. I’m so proud of us. And my Dad! I’m pretty sure he knows I’m the Red Ranger. Damn dude, he’s going to be so hyped. _

_ I’m finally going to make him proud for something good, something more than sports.  _

_ I’m finally going to do some real good! Me and my team, we’re going to take care of our town and make a difference. Wow. Just, wow.  _

After they dropped off the crew on the Coast Guard ship, the Rangers returned to their Ship. Once the four were out of their Zords, they started jumping around and hugging one another in joy. Billy ran in from the side door and joined them although instead of hugging he bounced on his toes and gave his friends hearty fist bumps.

“Holy shit! We did it! We found them all!” Jason shouted happily. 

“Everyone gets to go home to their families tonight,” Kim grinned. “Their families didn’t lose them.”

“We did that!” Zack boasted proudly. “We saved them and it was fucking awesome!”

“Indeed, it went very well,” Zordon’s voice surrounded them as they walked as a group towards the Command Center. “Thanks to you, there has been no loss of life in this incident. You should feel proud but don’t get foolish.”

“And there’s Wall-Dad with the bucket of cold water,” Trini snarked. 

“I don’t mean to dampen your enthusiasm, Trini. I only wish to warn you of the dangers of overconfidence,” Zordon told them. “But, it can wait as can your Mission Reports.”

Zack let out a whine. “Wait, so all that stuff we had to fill out after the battle with Rita, that’s a regular thing?” Now standing in the Command Center, he watched Zordon nod his pixelated head. “Aww man, no one said this gig came with paperwork.”

“Great, more homework,” Trini rolled her eyes. 

“Yeah but like he said, it can wait,” Jason repeated. “For now, let’s celebrate.”

“Yeah! We gotta have a huge bonfire celebration!” Zack announced. “I mean, we gotta go all out for this! Food, drinks, maybe some fireworks. We saved them all!”

Kim tried not to groan but a tiny sound escaped. The only person close enough to hear it was Trini but the brunette still blushed.

Trini gave Kim a concerned look. “Does it have to be a bonfire?” she suddenly asked. Kim looked at her in surprise. “I’m just saying that maybe we should try doing something else too, you know?”  _ Like something that doesn’t traumatize Kim for a start. _

“Come on! Bonfires are our thing!” Zack insisted. 

“It’s storming out,” Trini reminded him.

“So we don’t do it tonight; we wait a day or so. No big deal.”

“Yeah, it’s ‘our thing’ but we can do other things too,” Trini pushed back. “Go watch movies, play video games, go out to eat or go somewhere, anywhere. There’s plenty to do.”

“Not in this town,” Zack countered with a roll of his eyes.

“We could go to a concert, or-or a show at Angel Grove Theatre. I mean, I like the bonfire but maybe we should do other things too,” Billy agreed. “You know, so we don’t get bored with it. Like how I eat Corn Flakes every morning. I began to get bored of it until I started adding fresh fruit to it. Now I eat it everyday again but it’s always a little bit different.” 

What Billy was saying made sense in a completely logical Billy type of way. It was the thoughtful look he gave Kim that made her pause to wonder if his suggestion came from something else. If he’d caught on to her PTSD issues with fire. 

The thought made her stomach turn with shame.  _ I should be stronger than this.  _

“Fiiiiine,” Zack groaned childishly. “We’ll do something else.”

“Like what, though?” Jason asked. “Laser tag?” 

Trini arched an eyebrow. “Dude, really? Can we do something not battle based? Unless it’s a video game or something. How about… The skating rink is open.”

“No, I don’t know how to ice skate. Or roller skate, actually,” Billy shared. “We could watch movies and play board games.”

“How about this?” Kim began. “Not today because I’m exhausted but we plan a day at my house? We’ll watch movies on the big screen in the living room, order food or cook whatever we want since the kitchen’s stocked, play video games, or whatever. Let’s do something inside where it won’t matter what the weather is. There’s plenty of room for everyone to crash for a night.” She looked at Zack. “And if you need to have a fire, there’s the fire pit on the back deck.” 

Trini glanced at Kim but the older girl’s face gave nothing away. But it was a good compromise. The firepit at Kim’s house was much smaller and easier to control. Plus, it was Kim’s safe spot, her own home.  _ That might make it easier for her.  _

“I’m in,” the smallest Ranger decided. “I call dibs on the huge recliner!” 

“Aw man, I love that chair,” Zack pouted. 

“All right, so we’ll do that,” Jason agreed. He looked at Billy for confirmation and smiled when the other boy nodded. “We’ll pick a day to do it. For now I agree with Kim; I just wanna go home. I’m beyond tired.”

The endorphins and adrenaline were starting to fade from their bodies. 

“Let’s go home.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it's obvious I don't know much about the Coast Guard. If there's a glaring issue that needs correction, let me know.


	13. Who Knew Being A Superhero Came with Paperwork?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TAGS: Swearing, arguing
> 
> The team debriefs from their rescue of the crew of the Eloise Joy and learn more about the source of their abilities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this is 'late' but I didn't have a lot of energy to write over this last week and none of what's prewritten fit as a next chapter. I needed a little space between last chapter and the next fully-written one but my motivation and energy abandoned me for most of the week.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

By the next morning, Angel Grove was abuzz with the news that the Power Rangers had rescued the entire crew of the Eloise Joy. The families of the men were overjoyed and the men themselves were deeply grateful. With everything that the town had encountered and been through thanks to Rita, it needed the boost in morale that came from the successful rescue. 

“Reports say that the Pink Pterodactyl and Yellow Sabertooth Tiger vehicles were instrumental in the rescue,” the news reporter on the radio informed their listeners. “Pink conducted its search from the air while the yellow vehicle, apparently able to transform into a boat searched from the surface of the water. Eyewitnesses and survivors say that the Power Rangers worked diligently to rescue each man from the water with the Pink Ranger going so far as to dive from her ship into the stormy water to rescue a crewmember who had gone underwater and not resurfaced. The man she rescued, Carter Welsh, is in serious condition but hospital officials say they expect him to make a full recovery.”

“Thank God,” Kim remarked as she parked her car before she and Trini headed up to the chasm.

“Coast Guard officials stated that while they appreciate the help in rescuing the men, they are not completely happy that the Power Rangers interfered,” the reporter went on. 

It then switched to a pre-recorded press conference where a man, presumably the Coast Guard spokesman announced, “The Power Rangers did the city of Angel Grove and the crew of the Eloise Joy a great service; they helped to save 15 men, some of who may not have survived the extreme weather conditions long enough for us to reach them. We cannot thank them enough. However…” 

“Of course,” Trini snarled. “No one can ever just say thanks and move on.”

“With department-wide cooperation with the civil services in Angel Grove, the city has survived without the Power Rangers before and we’re capable of continuing to do so now. The last thing anyone needs to do is get complacent and expect that the Rangers will jump in to help every time something goes wrong.”

“Well, duh,” Trini went on in response. “I ain’t here to get your cat out of a tree.”

“In spite of what the Coast Guard said, most of the residents we spoke to last night and this morning have a very different opinion of the Power Rangers,” the news anchor explained. The report then went on with soundbites of citizens all thanking the Power Rangers for their help and a few telling the Coast Guard where they could take their less-than-thrilled feelings about the superheroes.

“My uncle would be dead without the Rangers!” one man yelled. “Yeah, Rangers! They’re the best! Fu- *beep* anyone who says differently! I’ll kick their a-*beep*”

“Back to you in the studio,” the reporter tossed back to the station.

“And that was Jennifer Patrick with the latest news about last night’s exciting Power Rangers rescue at sea!” the regular DJ announced. “Coming up, the latest song from _ The Chainsmokers _.”

“And just like that, life moves on,” Kim remarked airily. 

“How long you think this meeting’s gonna take?” Trini asked petulantly as they got out of the car. 

Kim made a face. “It’s Jason’s first time doing a debriefing so probably eons.”

“Great. Ug.”

Not long after, the Rangers sat around a few tables in a large room on the Ship that they had dubbed the Debriefing Room. They typically gathered the information for their missions in the Command Center where Zordon’s main screen doubled as their viewing screen and their morphing platforms were nearby if needed. However, that room wasn’t practical to do the same with debriefings and going over reports. 

Billy and Jason designed the Debriefing Room with input from the others. At first, Jason had decided on a round table which had elicited jokes about King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table from Zack and Trini, a comment about the Justice League from Billy, and a baffling reference from Kim. 

_ “We’re knights of the round table, we dance whene'er we're able’!” she sang and followed it up with a laugh. At the confused looks, she frowned. “What? No one’s seen Spamalot or Monty Python and the Holy Grail?” Her friends shook their heads. “Uncultured swine.” _

_ “I know that one!” Billy called excitedly. “Toy Story!” _

_ “Is that where I got it from?” Kim asked herself absently. _

After that, they went with a long horseshoe-shaped table and comfortable chairs. Jason didn’t want it to look like a ‘war room’ or anything like it. He wanted a room that while efficient and purposeful, wasn’t uptight and they could relax in to have their debriefings. He felt that a relaxed atmosphere would be best suited to them. 

To that end, he, Billy, and Zack installed counters along one wall on top of which sat a large variety of snacks, a coffee maker, and a toaster. A large fridge held their drinks and things that needed to be kept cold while Alpha provided fresh fruit from the Ships replicators (Billy and Kim freaked out over those) to go along with the junk food. The replicators were still learning the chemical compounds that make up human nutrition so it wasn’t used often just yet; not after the french fries that came out tasting like Irish Spring soap. 

To equip the room, the Ship provided several viewing screens on each wall to show their helmet cam readouts as well as medical reports, fight diagrams, surveillance footage hacked by Alpha, and other needed information. The screens also worked as marker boards so they were able to highlight and point out specific things on the readouts.

There was a smaller room attached on the side through a door that Jason had claimed as his ‘office’. He had one of the Ships computers on the desk along with stacks of paper and two monitors. Like in the Debriefing Room, screens were placed on the walls so that he could review footage and go over their fighting strategies in privacy on his own time. It was a lot like how he’d review and dissect footage from his football games to improve his technique and the team’s plays. Jason didn’t see that much of a difference in the two things at times.

The Debriefing Room was also where they reviewed his strategies, along with fighting maneuvers/styles and went over their strengths and weaknesses. They could use the room to study the countless new types of hand-to-hand combat, with and without a weapon, that were available to them in the vast archive within the Ship. The room was large enough that with the tables and chairs pushed to the side, they could walk through the maneuvers before they went to the Pit to put them into action. 

Each Ranger had their own tablet, much like a large iPad to review and write information on but all except Zack still preferred paper. The tablets made things easier since they were connected to the screens and therefore the teens could point out things on the screens from their seats. The devices far outmatched even the latest model of computer tablets leading Zack to complain about not being able to play video games on them.

“Think of the graphics!” he insisted. “It would be so wild!”

“We can’t share technology, Zack,” Billy said evenly. “Plus, I’m not sure if game software is advanced enough to run on these Pads.”

“Have you seen some of the newest games?” Zack asked, blown away that Billy thought it wouldn’t work. 

“Yes, and in comparison to the screen resolution on these Pads, I don’t think it would hold up,” Billy explained. “It would likely display and amplify every error in the game’s coding.”

“Dude, I just wanna play a little Fortnite,” Zack whined. “Can you imagine it in this room?”

“Ew, shit game,” Kim huffed. 

Zack made a face at her. “What? You like PUBG?”

“Fuck no!” Kim laughed.

“Ah, so you’re an OverWatch girl, huh?” Zack teased.

“Guys, we need to focus on why we’re here,” Jason announced before Kim could respond. “We’ve got some stuff to go over.” He hit a button on his Pad bringing up the pictures of the sunken ship’s crew on the screens. Their names, a brief history, and their current medical condition were displayed under each photo.

“The crew of the Eloise Joy survived capsizing yesterday thanks to us. Four had serious injuries and two of them are in serious condition, including Carter Welsh,” Jason highlighted the picture of a young dark-haired man around 30 years old. “He’s the man Kim fished out. He’ll live but his recovery is going to be tough. A line of traps fell on him which broke his pelvis, a few vertebrae, ribs, and gave him a serious concussion. That’s why he went under.”

“Damn, props to him for holding on as long as he did,” Zack remarked seriously. “Nice guy, by the way. He was crying and saying thanks the whole time after he came to. Told me I’d never have to pay for lobster or any other seafood I wanted, ever again.” He grinned. “So that’s good. Free sushi.”

Billy looked ready to object but then realized his friend was being facetious. It was easier to tell with Zack than the other three. “Thankfully, the resuscitation unit also provides pain relief so he wasn’t suffering.”

“RUSS. I’m gonna call the unit RUSS,” Zack declared. “Cuz I’m lazy.”

From a dedicated screen in front, Zordon’s pixelated image focused on Zack which made the Black Ranger marginally uncomfortable. 

“Yes, you are,” the alien agreed in an angry tone. “Fortunately, your laziness was counteracted by your luck yesterday.” 

“Excuse me?” Arms crossed over his chest, Zack looked appropriately defensive. 

“Your deployment of the resuscitation unit was inexcusably delayed,” the alien told him. “You are dangerously inept.”

“Whoa!” Kim objected. “Hang on a second…”

“Back off!” Trini growled.

“Hey, the dude lived, didn’t he? I figured it out.”

“No one’s perfect,” Billy frowned. “He’ll get better.”

“But you lost over a minute trying to figure out the equipment,” Jason broke in. The blonde tried to keep his voice even and not accusatory. They were here to learn where they were strong and where they were weak during the rescue, not blame or shame someone for their actions. Not today. 

That didn’t mean he agreed with Zordon’s harsh criticism either. The former Red Ranger’s management style was apparently much different than what Jason had planned.

Zack glared at Jason. “Dude’s probably gonna name his next kid after me and I’m getting this shit? Come on.”

“He should name it after me,” Kim interrupted. “Since I actually, you know, pulled him out.” Honestly, she didn’t care for any sort of ‘reward’ like what Zack was talking about. But Zack’s attitude about his part in the rescue was irritating her. “If anyone should be pissed at him for this, it should be me. I mean, what if I had gotten hurt, you know?” 

Her words were chastising enough that Zack backed down with a sigh. “Ok, so, what- how do I get better?”

“If you were paying attention in the first aid training that Alpha 5 has helpfully provided, you would have performed your duties more efficiently. However, you were remiss in your duties as a Power Ranger and your careless laziness put your fellow Ranger in danger as well as could have cost a man his life,” Zordon scolded.

Zack, red in the face with anger had risen from his chair after Zordon spoke, ready to erupt. He had accepted that he screwed up and needed to retrain. Having the bald alien continue to berate him reminded him too much of the way his father once acted and he swore to himself he was too grown now to put up with that kind of treatment.

Jason beat him to speaking, though.

The head Ranger turned to completely face the monitor with Zordon on it. “Hey, hey, stop. Stop right there. I don’t know how you ran your team of Rangers but that’s not how I’m gonna do things,” he told his predecessor. “I’m not gonna sit here and drag a person down thinking they’ll learn something that way. Cuz they won’t. It doesn’t work that way.”

“Humans don’t do well with that,” Trini snarked, biting off the end of a Red Vine. 

“Negative reinforcement often leads to negative results,” Billy informed Zordon. “Especially in verbal cases. It makes the recipient defensive and resentful. The chances of them learning or improving become significantly lower as a result.”

Zordon looked like he was going to argue the point.

“You need to get to know humans better,” Kim added her two cents. “We do the exact opposite of what’s good for us or what we should alllll the time. At least, I do.” 

Trini gave the older girl an incredulous look that read between ‘oh, so you’re aware?’ and ‘no shit’. Kim smirked back.

“I’m not gonna sugar-coat anything or hold anyone’s hand through this but you can either lead or be in charge, not both. They’re completely different. You can be firm and be a leader without being mean,” Jason informed the ancient Ranger. “And we’re a team, equals. I’m our captain, not their commander.” He paused. “If that makes sense.”

His team all agreed that it did. 

After this, Zordon stayed silent so Jason took that as his cue to continue with the debriefing. “But, he’s still somewhat right; you got lucky, Zack. The fact that the tech is so easy to figure out is what got you through.” Zack looked like he was going to object. “Dude, I know about the water. 81 seconds is a lifetime when someone drowns. That’s how long it took you to hook him up. That’s too long.”

Begrudgingly, Zack nodded. “Yeah, ok. I could be faster.”

“We all could,” Jason remarked. “None of us are in the recommended range just yet.”

“With the face mask apparatus, it should take between 32 and 41 seconds to fully initiate the unit,” Alpha informed them. At the withering looks from Jason and Zack, Alpha found something interesting on the floor to focus on. 

“Anyway,” Jason restarted. “You saved that guy, no doubt but you could have been faster. That’s what we’re here for; to learn how to be better the next time.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Zack muttered. 

“We need you to pay attention in first-aid training, dude,” Trini said as she bounced a balled-up piece of paper she stole from Kim off his head. “Cuz next time it might be one of us that needs help. You screw that up and we’re gonna be pissed.”

“The main point, however, is that Zack technically didn’t screw up,” Jason stated firmly. “But, he could do _ better _.”

“How fast can you get it hooked up?” Zack asked curiously. 

“52 seconds so I need to train at it too,” Jason admitted. 

A sly smile crept over Zack’s face. “Race you to 40.” If he had to practice anyway, Zack so no reason they couldn’t have some fun at the same time..

“35,” Jason corrected him.

“Fine, 35. First one to hit or break 35 wins. Loser buys beer and pizza.”

“You’re on!”

In her seat, Trini hid a smile. The competitive nature of her friends could get on her nerves at times, especially when Jason and Zack decided to have a proverbial dick measuring contest, loudly. Zack was chafing under Jason’s command and Jason wasn’t used to the pushback so the two equally stubborn boys butted heads at least once a week if not more. Turning their natural tendencies to battle one another into a competition would benefit them all and was a sign of growth. It was likely to be just as annoying only in a different context.

“Moving on: Trini, your performance was satisfactory,” Zordon redirected the meeting. He wasn’t letting go of command easily. “You transformed the TigerZord efficiently and manned its controls expertly.”

“I’m sensing a ‘but’,” the Latina said flatly.

“But…”

“No, buts,” Jason spoke over Zordon who trailed off. “You got us there fast and smoothly. I barely felt the waves and they were intense. And you spotted that guy in the debris, too. His name is Bart Lindon. He has a wife and three kids, a girl and two boys, all under 10.” Jason highlighted Bart’s photo.

Trini nodded with a smile. “I thought it went great, especially since I’d never driven Soledad in that form before. I think we all need to get to know our Zords better. There’s so much we don’t know and we should know those things inside and out if we want to use them right. I should’ve known Soledad could turn into a boat but I didn’t. We need to fix that.”

“Yeah, she’s right,” Kim agreed. 

“Billy, can you work with Alpha to sort out a list of abilities for each Zord? I’ll start working on a game plan and schedule for us each to spend some one-on-one time with the Zords.”

“My Dad says that you’re only as good as your equipment but if you don’t know your equipment, you’re doomed to fail,” Trini shared. “I think it’s a good idea, especially given how Billy took out Rita in the battle; if we’d known more about the Zords we might have been able to do that earlier. Less destruction, you know?”

“That is a reasonable assessment but Jason, I wish to discuss Trini’s actions and behavior during her assignment,” Zordon tried to take back control of the meeting.

Trini shot a look at Kim and Zack, one of them on each side. “I barely did anything; what’s the problem?”

“It is exactly that inactivity that I wish to discuss,” Zordon countered. 

“What did you want me to do? Get out in front with a flashlight?” the smallest Ranger challenged. “And who the hell are you, anyway? My boss is Jason, the _ current _ Red Ranger.”

Zordon was stunned for a moment as the fact that this was not his team to lead hit home for him again.

“I think we need to talk,” Jason told the alien, “but later in private. I have my own way of doing things and we need to go over that.” 

“My vast experience…” 

“Is a great resource but, you said it yourself, this is my team,” Jason reminded him. “My time is now.”

A tense moment passed between the past and present Red Ranger. In a lot of ways, this was the first true mission where they had been fully under Jason’s lead. The blonde teen was flexing his wings and getting a feel for leading something other than a sports team. Zordon was having trouble relinquishing control.

Finally, Zordon gave him a barely perceptible nod. While he was going to let Jason do the debriefing there was no doubt in the former quarterback’s mind that the two of them were going to have a very long and uncomfortable discussion about tactics and boundaries later.

“Trini, you saw that guy in the debris because your mind was on the job but for a moment or two there, you and Kim were joking around…”

“Hey, you can’t expect me- any of us, to suddenly act like a robot or something” Kim began. “We all deal with stress in those moments differently and I need to talk when I’m out there, especially since I was underwater and it was so dark.” She sighed and looked away. A small pulse of shame flitted across the Ranger link but was gone in seconds. “It bothered me, being under there, not able to see much further than where the lights on my suit ended.” 

_ I don’t like the dark _, went unspoken. There were fairy lights and other similar things strung up and hung around in her room. They threw at least a minimum of illumination into the area so that it was never completely pitch black. Kim wondered if Trini had noticed the number of string lights and thought anything of it. 

Being in a dark place without light wasn’t something Kim enjoyed and she’d literally dived head-first into a seemingly endless watery abyss.

“I needed to connect with someone and I talk to Trini when I feel that way so I called her,” the Pink Ranger finished. “I’m not gonna apologize for it but I will keep it more on track next time.”

“I agree with Kim,” Billy spoke up mere milliseconds before Trini. 

“She’s right,” Trini followed him up. Her mask of indifference was in place but she felt warm and alight inside from what Kim had disclosed. Not only was it wonderful to hear she helped Kim through her anxiety the fact that Kim admitted to needing that help was astounding. Trini hoped that it showed some progress with getting Kim to put her own needs first and not to feel ashamed when she did. 

Jason looked surprised at Billy’s remark but not Trini’s. “Really?”

“Yes. Asking her to stop speaking her natural stream of consciousness out loud when she’s anxious or in an intense situation, which is her coping method would be like asking me not to stim. Sort of,” the Black Ranger said patiently. “A difference is I can’t really control it most of the time but I think in those moments, we shouldn’t try to censor ourselves, or each other. Unless it becomes a danger and I don’t believe Kim or Trini approached that.”

Jason scratched his chin in thought. “You’re both right, I suppose. Just make sure that you don’t get carried away and end up not doing what you’re supposed to.”

“Understood,” Kim agreed without hesitation and gave a mocking but playful salute. 

“Yep,” Trini echoed, just in case he meant her too. “Got it, Boss.”

“Don’t call me Boss.” Jason looked at his Pad and touched a few keys. The heads-up display from Kim’s helmet filled the main screen at the front of the room. “We’re gonna watch Kim’s dive,” he told them. 

Trini bit back a groan; she didn’t want or need a first-person view of her best friend doing what she secretly felt was a bit reckless and stupid. The Zord could have gone lower to make the jump safer but Kim didn’t think that far ahead and that pattern of disregard for her safety weighed heavily on Trini.

The recording of Kim calling out before she jumped played back and they followed Kim’s view of the jump all the way into the water. Each of the five flinched at the sound it made when she impacted with the rough seas.

“Yo, ouch,” Zack muttered. “Damn Princess. That’s only about a 7.5 outta 10.”

“True,” Kim grunted. “I over-rotated.”

A scowl pulled at Trini’s eyebrows. “I'm surprised you didn't break your arms. That had to hurt.”

Kim shrugged one shoulder. “A little. It made my ears ring, mostly.”

“Lower the Zord down closer to the water next time.” Trini tried not to sound as irritated as she was with Kim’s actions but knew she failed when Kim shot her an unimpressed look.

“The readout said you took a lot of force to your head when you hit the water,” Billy explained. “You should jump feet first and with the upgrades to our armor, the readouts will help you angle yourself for the optimum entry into the water should this happen again. Or something like it.”

“That’s good. I’d like to avoid a concussion if I can,” Kim decided.

“Let’s avoid jumping from high up first,” Trini muttered. She blushed when she saw the amused look Kim now gave her. 

“Where’s the fun in that?” the taller teen cracked. 

“In living. The fun is in living,” Trini answered firmly. Kim made a sucking sound with her teeth in response. 

“Your armor is being upgraded to withstand much more electrical energy should we come into contact with it again,” Alpha said helpfully. “The energy cells that process errant energy have been expanded.”

“Ok, I gotta know; how the hell do you upgrade a suit that lives under our skin?” Zack asked in confusion. “I mean, yeah we loaded our coins into our morphing platforms but how does that change what the suit does?”

“Yeah, it’s weird,” Trini added. “Like how the suits can do so much. How does that work?”

“Right, like when I was underwater and the suit sent out those flares. Where did they come from? Where are they stored?” Kim wondered. “I thought about needing lights and the suit told me I had those flares. How?”

Alpha and Zordon exchanged a look.

“I’m not sure there are ways to explain it that humans would understand,” Zordon told them.

“Cop out,” Zack accused. “You speciesist.” 

“Speciesist?” Jason echoed.

“Yeah, I read it online somewhere, I think in a vegan blog,” the Black Ranger replied.

“What were _ you _ doing on a vegan website?” Trini arched an eyebrow at him..

“Hey, you can do some amazing things with vegan food, no joke,” Zack insisted. “Plus, the girl whose blog it is, is hot.”

“And there it is,” Trini scoffed with a shake of her head. Unrepentant, Zack grinned and wagged his eyebrows up and down. “Jerk.”

“The Morphing Grid is an energy field that gives power to every Power Ranger. Each Ranger has a specific link to the Grid…” Zordon began.

“Our connections are all different?” 

“Yes,” Zordon answered the Yellow Ranger. “As each Ranger is a unique individual, so is each Ranger’s relationship with the Grid itself.”

“So like, is the Grid sentient? You know, alive?” Jason questioned a little unnerved. “Because that’s kinda creepy.”

“It has awareness, yes but it is much more nuanced than your definition of sentient allows,” Zordon explained. 

“We should just say it’s magic and call it a day,” Zack laughed. “Cuz it makes about as much sense to me as the magic in Harry Potter.”

“Point,” Kim said.

“Same,” Trini said at the same time. 

Zordon barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “The concept of magic, as I’m sure you’ve learned from your encounter with Rita Repulsa is also vastly more complicated and nuanced that humans have allowed for or could understand.”

“Then explain it to us slowly,” Trini said sarcastically. She’d moved on from Red Vines and balls of paper and took to flicking an elastic band at the pixelated head. It hit the screen a little high and right of center. “Damn it, I need to work on my aim.”

With a withering look, Zordon let her comment and actions go. “The Grid maintains a balance between the forces of good and evil…” 

“Who created the Grid?” Billy wondered, fascinated with all of the new information.

Zordon looked taken aback at the question.

“I think it’d be better to start with one thing at a time,” Alpha decided. “We’ll start with how the Grid works; it generates a bio-field of electrical energy from which you draw power through your coins. That energy conjures your equipment, Zords and it’s how we go about upgrading Ranger armor and Zords.”

“The Grid manipulates matter? Wow,” Billy breathed in awe. “How?”

“Uh…” Alpha stammered. “Yes?”

“The coins are what opens up the link between us and the Grid, right? And that’s how we get our powers?” 

“Yes, Master Kimberly. Rangers use their Power Coins to create an entryway into the Grid to gain their powers. Once Rangers have finished morphing for the first time, these powers are instantaneously entered into their cellular makeup. In your cases, because you were all so badly injured from the train hitting your van, the Grid needed to induce some of those changes earlier in order to save your lives.”

The five teens exchanged knowing looks; they essentially died that night or at least a few of them did. None had bothered to ask how badly they’d been hurt; confronting their mortality so boldly was terrifying. Same as they rarely discussed their plunge into the fiery chasm during their battle with Goldar. They each silently shared the belief that if they didn’t address a brush with death, it didn’t happen.

Unfortunately, that decision wasn’t working out well for any of them. The events still haunted them.

“Wait, are the changes permanent? You know, are we always going to have powers even after we stop being Rangers?” Kim wondered.

“To a much lesser extent, yes,” Zordon confirmed. “Without a direct link to the Grid through a Power Coin your abilities will slowly diminish over time but you will never revert to a full human again.”

“Nice to let us know,” Zack griped. 

“You cannot change it so there was little point in informing you.”

Trini didn’t appreciate the dead Ranger’s opinion. “You know, it’s a pretty big thing to change without like, informed consent. We might wanna change that policy when we pass on our coins. Let the next people _ chose _ if they wanna be changed permanently and put into an incredibly dangerous shitshow instead of just throwing the coin at someone.” She mimicked throwing her coin. “‘Here ya go, have fun! Sorry for irreparably altering you and good luck with all the space monsters that are going to come and try to kill you and destroy the planet’. Yeah, no, not how I work.”

“Yeah,” Jason agreed. The other Rangers nodded at each other. “I mean, I get that the coin chooses its Ranger but a person can refuse, right?”

“Yes,” Zordon confirmed. 

“It is too late once you finalize the first morph into your armor,” Alpha said meekly. “Er… sorry?” 

“There was no time for such pleasantries. You will find that that is often the way of things and decisions must be made quickly,” Zordon declared with a sense of superiority.

An uncomfortable silence filled the room for a few moments.

Awkwardly, Alpha broke the quiet. “The Grid does what it feels is best but it would respect a person’s wishes. I think…” They reached up and scratched their head making a metal on metal grinding sound for a moment that made the humans wince. “Anyway, it provides the energy for the changes and upgrades that are programmed into the computers. It’s a fast process that helps make the Power Rangers better, more efficient fighters because you can adapt so quickly to any situation.”

“While the Grid provides most of what is needed in order to upgrade the suits and Zords, there is some physical labor; don’t sell yourself short, Alpha 5,” Zordon said with a sense of pride that was a complete 180 degrees from his stern, almost condescending attitude from only moments before. “The Zords, indeed nothing on board this ship would function correctly without your diligence in maintenance.”

Alpha ducked their head and beeped, embarrassed and happy. Zordon didn’t give out compliments easily and it had been a very long time since Alpha had last heard one.

“T-thank you, Master. It’s my job but I like doing it. I like knowing that I’m helping the Power Rangers!” They tilted their head. “My friends?”

“Yeah, of course,” Trini spoke up for everyone. “Just don’t go grabbing me by the legs ever again. I’ll take you apart, bolt by screw, to see how you work if you do.”

Alpha jumped a little. “To be honest, that’s fair.”

“You’re a big help, Alpha,” Jason started.

“Invaluable,” Billy corrected him. “As a resource and a friend.” 

Alpha jumped in the air with a cheer.

“You were ahead of the game yesterday, thanks to the plans you and Billy have been working on. Taking the time to practice loading the Zords for an emergency made a big difference in getting to the crew in time. Keep that up,” Jason encouraged the automaton. 

Alpha couldn’t believe that they were being treated as an equal member of the team and not as a servant or walking computer. Other Ranger teams in the past had treated them well but there was something about this group of Rangers that felt special. That they saw them as more than a ‘robot’ was amazing to them. 

At a loss for words, Alpha beeped happily and looked to Zordon. Zordon smiled slightly at his long-time companion and nodded in agreement.

“I will,” Alpha squeaked strangely. “Oh, I must have had a cramp in my vocal unit.”

“Suuure,” Zack drawled jokingly. “And shit, did Wall-Dad just smile? I didn’t think your pixels went that way.” Zordon glared at the Asian teen but as usual, it had no effect on Zack who smiled back in faux innocence at the alien. “So this all works on Grid energy and magic. Got it.”

“I’m a bit bothered by the ‘magic’ part,” Trini shared. It was the only explanation for a lot of what she’d seen so far but it flew in the face of everything she’d ever been taught about the universe. It was definitely going to take some time to get used to. “And I still don’t get how it knows what we need in the moment.”

“Metaphysical magical energy,” Billy repeated for clarification. This was a lot for him to take in although he had deduced that the coins worked on more than technology.

“Again, it is much more nuanced than your definitions of both sentience and magic allow,” Zordon went on. 

Jason verbally walked his way along the path to make sure he had it right. “The Grid was created to protect the Zeo Crystal. It does that through the Power Coins which work as a conduit for Rangers to access the power of the Grid. The Grid manipulates matter to give us what we need at the moment.”

“Essentially.”

“In simple terms, the Grid supplies the energy, the coins are the focal point. That energy it… hmmm, detects, I suppose, the needs of the Ranger based on many factors such as environment, emotional state, and subconscious thoughts,” Alpha tried to convey how the Grid worked. It was difficult to put into words.

“Excuse me?” Jason said, upset. “Stay out of my head.”

“Kimberly, before you jumped in the water, what were some of your unvoiced concerns,” Zordon asked.

“Uhm, that I didn’t want to snap my neck and I was thankful that the suit had so many lights,” the Pink Ranger responded.

“Lights that appeared due to your environment,” Alpha nodded.

“Go on,” Zordon encouraged Kim.

“Well, it struck me on the way down that I didn’t have any other kinds of light to use underwater…”

“The suit provided flares,” Billy was catching on. “What you needed in the situation but that was also environmental.”

“It all acts as one, Billy,” Zordon continued. “The Grid and therefore your coins do not ‘read your mind’ in the fashion you’re familiar with. It would be more apt to say that it senses what’s needed by the energy around you. It’s… difficult to explain.”

“Is the Grid some sort of giant ball of energy on some planet somewhere?” Zack wanted to know. “Like the swirly thing in the Command Center.”

“That’s a small pocket nexus of Grid energy,” Alpha explained. 

“It’s possible that the Grid itself exists in physical form somewhere in the universe. At least from what I’ve learned by reading the Archives.”

Billy looked at Zordon. “Where is it?” His eyes were huge.

“Unfortunately, we don’t know,” Zordon said sadly. “It’s believed to have been kept in the Temple of Power which is said to reside in the Desert of Despair…”

“Charming,” Kim remarked sarcastically. “Let’s go on vacation there next.”

Zordon ignored her. “The locations of both, if they existed at one time has been long lost to the ages.”

“It’s not in this galaxy, that’s for sure!” Alpha supplied helpfully. At the confused looks from the humans, the android went on, “Our scanners would have detected that energy if it existed in this galaxy. It’s very unique.”

Not understanding much of what was being said and feeling his eyes glaze over from trying, Zack broke in. “Yeah, I’m just gonna call it magic and leave it at that.”

“Magic,” Kim agreed. Beside her, Trini nodded her agreement as well. “I think this might be one of those, ‘don’t ask how the sausage is made’ sort of questions.”

“We’re just going in circles,” Trini groaned and dropped her head back to stare at the white ceiling. “This feels like a metaphysical mythology class I didn’t sign up for.”

“Or some sort of electrical engineering class,” Kim joined her. She then mouthed ‘metaphysical mythology’ at Trini who shrugged.

“Either way, I’m bored,” Trini announced. “Can we move on now?”

“Yes,” Jason concurred. He didn’t want to think about the possibility of the coins or Grid reading his mind, it creeped him out. “Where were we? OK, Kim, your suit will assist you so you hit the water right the next time; just go feet first.” 

“Got it,” Kim clicked her tongue. 

“I repeat my suggestion that you stop jumping off of things,” Trini remarked off to the side, still looking up. Kim opened her mouth. “And I argue that the fun is in living to celebrate your victories and, you know, hanging out with me.” She finally turned her head towards Kim who closed her mouth.

The two smiled softly at one another. 

“Good one,” Kim conceded and a moment later when no one was looking, she winked at Trini.

The blush the Latina felt rushing up her ears and neck was so hot she felt like she had to be neon red. She slouched down in her hair, ducked her head, and adjusted her brown beanie so that her hair fell and hid her face. 

_ What the hell? Did she just wink at me? Oh my God, I’m gonna blush to death. My face and ears are on fire! _

A couple of feet away, Kim was wondering why she felt so bold. Maybe it was still the leftover rush from the day before, who knew but she felt happy and light in a way that she hadn’t in what felt like months. The only things that came close to matching how she felt were flying in her Zord (and thus she might still be on that exhilarating rush, she knew) and spending time with Trini. Those were the moments when it didn’t feel like gravity was doing its best to grind her into the dirt, dragging her down or suffocating her. In those moments, like right now, she felt weightless.

_ That reaction is priceless! _ Kim indulged the moment a little when she saw the flush on Trini’s cheeks. But when Trini slouched down in the chair trying to hide, Kim felt bad. _ I hope she doesn’t think I’m like, playing with her emotions or something. Shit, I have to be more careful. Plus, in front of the guys isn’t a great place to make her uncomfortable either. Nice going, Kim. _

Her good mood soured slightly. 

Despite Kim’s ability to suppress her end of the emotional bond, Trini felt the change in mood over their link. Being in such close proximity to the Grid conduit on the Ship prevented them from completely hiding their emotions from one another. The energy level that swirled around and between the five was simply too strong and pure for the effort to work well. 

Giving Kim a questioning look, Trini was met by a blank expression on her best friend’s face. It was an expression she was getting too familiar with and each time she saw it, Trini hated it a little more.

“Other than that and the incident with the lighting, you did great,” Jason told Kim.

“Incident,” she snorted. “Not that I plan to ever do it again but next time I’d like to have some sort of lightning rod on the Zord. So I’m not the tallest thing standing on it.”

“The Zords are all being upgraded to absorb and process electrical energy like the suits as well,” Alpha pointed out. “Any extra energy the Zords encounter will be used to power their weapons and to supplement the power banks.”

“Good plan,” Jason nodded. “Can we get that for other types of energy? Er… and magic? Like things we might encounter. I dunno, space energy.”

“Maybe not ‘space energy’ but yes, sure. But it will take a while. The Zords take longer to upgrade and adjust. They can become unresponsive during that time. But the adjustments could be done!” Alpha insisted. 

“Look into what it’ll take and how long. You don’t have to cover everything but maybe look at the types of magic and energy we’ll encounter with people like Rita,” Jason went on. 

“And on the planet,” Kim amended. “I don’t want to miss something easy and Earth-based because we’re too focused on her or some other space monster.”

“Right. We’ll do that too. Look into it, Alpha and we’ll see what’s a priority and what can wait. We might be able to do a roll-out of the updates one at a time so only one Zord is down at a time,” the Red Ranger suggested. 

Billy scribbled away furiously in his notebook. He preferred the tactile feel of the paper and pencils so he had taken to writing his notes out and transcribing them into his Pad later.

“Billy, great job with the Coast Guard and getting some of them on our side of things.”

“I was nervous at first given my tendency to babble when I’m anxious but with the voice changer and mask, it wasn’t so intimidating. Plus, no one was actually looking at me. I made a backchannel contact with them who we can contact and get messages from. That way if something like this happens again we can discuss our plans with the Coast Guard and vice versa. They can call us for help without doing it publicly.” 

“Nice job,” Zack praised his friend. He was glad he wasn’t the one that had to deal with all the bureaucratic stuff; he’d end up mouthing off and making things worse, he knew. “It’s cool that you set up a contact, too. Stealthy. I love it.”

Billy beamed. 

“I honestly wasn’t much help to anyone except the guy Trini and I rescued,” Jason sighed. “And I need more training on the sensor systems in the Zords.”

“That goes with what I said earlier,” Trini called back to the point she’d made. “We’re idiots to think we’re just gonna know how to use the Zords.”

“Right.”

“You executed the transfers of the men from the Pterodactyl Zord to the Tiger Zord and then onto the Coast Guard rescue boat quickly and efficiently,” Zordon recalled. 

“And let me stay out of the rain so thanks for that,” Trini said around a yawn. “Is that everything?”

“Uhm… I’ve got a tape I want to go over with Zack about the lift…” Jason started.

“Awww, come on,” Zack groaned.

“Dude, I haven’t used it yet. I want you to walk me through what you did on tape and then show me on the actual lift,” Jason explained. 

“Oh,” Zack blushed. “Sure, no problem.”

“So there’s that but we don’t have to do it right this minute. There’s a couple of notes about communication and I want your preliminary reports done before we leave.”

“Aww, come on, Jase, it can wait,” Zack pleaded. “Let’s go to Kim’s and have our celebration party first? Pleeeeeaaase?”

“Please, Jason? I’m hungry and want the cookies Kim keeps for me at her house,” Billy added to the dissent. 

“Your report is already done,” Jason pointed out.

Billy tilted his head in confusion. “Yes, that’s true and I’ll wait for everyone to finish their reports so we can leave together. I would just rather that we didn’t do that right now.”

Jason caved. “All right, it can wait,” he smiled when his team cheered loudly. “Start ordering the food so it’s ready by the time we get back to town. I’m starved.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used information about the Grid from the Power Rangers Wiki and altered it to fit story needs.


	14. It's Written in the Scars on Our Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TAGS: Language, training level violence, brief moment of steamy imagery (literally, ha!), reference to past self-harm
> 
> Jason tries to keep control of a training session with two cranky Rangers. Later, Trini accidentally discovers a disturbing secret that Kim goes out of her way to hide from everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I'm late again. I had started to write out something new and ended up not liking what I had. I reworked most of it into a prewritten section and I feel it works now. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Saturday morning found the five Rangers in the Pit for training. Jason paired them off; Trini and Zack were teamed for sparring and learning a new close-combat maneuver while Kim and Billy were working together on balance and reaction exercises. 

Upon arrival, it was clear that Trini was in an unusually rough mood. She arrived alone without Kim having jogged to the chasm in hopes of running off her foul mood. Her mood was so bad that even without their empathic link, it would have been obvious. Trini spent a long time perfecting a neutral unaffected expression to wear as a mask but it was nowhere in sight today. 

Her face was scrunched into a scowl making deep wrinkles form between her eyebrows while the frown on her lips pulled her cheeks down. She had no sarcastic remarks to offer, no teasing or friendly name-calling, and her normally light hazel eyes were stormy and dark. 

Whatever was bothering her was making her incredibly angry and it was drifting over the link to her fellow Rangers.

When she arrived, she made a point to avoid Kim, giving her friend a side look that said she didn’t want to talk and to her credit, Kim kept her distance. It didn’t look like the older girl thought Trini’s issue was about her which was a relief. It wasn’t and honestly, Trini didn’t know if she had the emotional energy to deal with a meltdown from Kim over literally nothing.

“You ok?” Jason asked her as he walked her and Zack through the steps of the fighting maneuver they were learning. 

“Nothing big. Wrong side of the bed,” Trini waved him off. The expression on Jason’s face signaled that he didn’t believe her but wasn’t going to pressure her into talking. Not at the moment, at least for which Trini was grateful. 

“You sure?” Zack asked. “Cuz you are one grumpy kitty-cat.”

“Rawr.”

“I hear ya,” he chuckled. “I’m not much better.” 

An uncharacteristic wave of anger ran down the Ranger link coming from Zack. It was so unusual that yards away, Kim and Billy paused what they were doing.

“Is everyone cranky today?” Kim called out. 

“I’m not,” Billy smiled at her. 

“Me either,” she smiled back.

“I got it!” Jason yelled back at her. “Do what you were doing. You all right, Zack?”

“Rough night,” Zack replied honestly.

“Mama ok?” Trini asked, concerned. 

Zack’s mood lifted a bit in the face of his friend’s concern. Especially Trini’s; she was in a bad mood herself yet she was immediately worried about his mother. Not for the first time, he wondered about his Karma and these wonderful friends and where that all evened out. “I think she’s coming down with a cold, but she’s ok, thanks.”

“I hope she feels better soon,” Jason said sincerely.

“Yeah, lemme know if you need anything,” Trini added. “My Mom makes a killer chicken soup when anyone at home is sick. It’s full of chicken, veggies, and it’s got all these spices and chilies in it so it clears your sinuses and she makes dumplings with butter and oh my God, soooo good.”

“Thanks,” he smiled genuinely. “I appreciate it.”

“No problem, man,” Jason reassured him. “I want that soup though.”

“Me too,” Zack agreed honestly. 

“Get sick then,” she teased, “and maybe I’ll take pity and make it for you. Probably not, though.” The thought of asking her mother to make it for them reminded her why she was so angry and she curled her hands into fists at her sides.

“Cough cough,” Jason faked a cough. 

Trini shoved him. “You wish!” 

“So you cook, Crazy Girl?” 

A brief frown flickered across Trini’s face as if she considered brushing him off. “Yeah, once in a while. I like it,” she surprised Zack by opening up. 

While the two of them spent time hanging out together Trini wasn’t someone who volunteered information often. When she did, it typically had to do with things going on at the moment and not her own likes and dislikes so this was new knowledge to Zack.

“That’s cool,” he told her truthfully.

“Yeah.”

“Ok, let’s focus on why we’re here and give this a try, all right?” Jason suggested. “Let’s get started.” 

-

Spitting out a mouthful of dirt, Trini growled; that was the third time she’d eaten it and it was pissing her off, adding to her already bad mood. She sprang back to her feet and spun around to face her opponent. She shook out her hair and took her ready stance again. 

“What’s up with you today?” Zack asked. “You’re all over the place.”

“I dunno. I’m just off,” she grumbled, brushing dirt and rock off her clothes. “It happens. Let’s go again.”

“T…” he sighed. “We’ve been at this for over an hour. Maybe it’s just not gonna happen today?” He leaned to the side and cracked his back; he was getting sore. “Ahhh, that’s better.”

She glared at him. “I’m gonna get this fuckin’ move today, alright? Let’s go!” 

The tall Asian sent a look to Jason who nodded for him to go. Trini wasn’t in any way hurt and if she was this determined, she could have a few more tries. Truth was, she was going to stay and keep trying even if Jason told her ‘no’; supporting her was easier. They needed to learn their limits in an environment that allowed for mistakes, which the heat of battle would not. Here in the Pit, they had each other, Alpha, medical equipment and anything else to keep them safe.

“You heard her, Zack,” the Red Ranger said simply. “Don’t hold back. If she eats dirt again, it’s on her.”

Zack smiled. “If you say so. All right, let’s see whatcha got.” 

Moments later, the attempt ended with Trini on her back in the dirt, coughing as the landing knocked the air from her lungs. A rock dug into her lower back undoubtedly leaving a bruise. 

“Swing and a miss!” Zack teased. “Another point for Taylor!” He gave himself fake stadium cheers. Handing Trini her ass over and over again was doing a lot to improve his mood. 

“Fuck you,” Trini hacked, flipping him off, “piece of shit…”

“Hey, don’t take your anger out on him,” Jason told her. “Zack, don’t purposely irritate her.” 

“It’s ok, Jase,” Zack retrieved his water bottle and took a long drink. “It’s not my fault I’m a superior fighter…”

“Oh, go fuck yourself sideways, pretty boy, cuz you fucking wish,” Trini spat from where she was laying, glaring up at the rock ceiling.

Ignoring her, Zack went on with a shit-eating smirk. “...and she’s too slow to get the move. I’m not surprised given her mini-size,” he said flippantly. “Little bitty thing.”

“What the fuck did you just say? I’ll rip your face off,” Trini threatened. 

“You’re too easy, T,” Zack laughed. “One little ‘short’ comment and you lose your shit. You gotta have thicker skin than that, Crazy Girl. Or else you won’t survive.”

“You’re not gonna survive pretty soon…”

“Yeah, you’re really threatening when you’re lying there winded because I pwned you.”

Jason shook his head in disbelief. “Dude, you’re nuts. If she breaks your face, I’m not listening to you bitch about it.”

“Imma break a lot more than his face…”

“Gotta reach it first.”

“Zack, seriously, what’s up with  _ you _ ?” 

“Nothing, just playing.”

“No, you’re purposely antagonizing and it’s not helpful. Be smart for once and just shut up and teach her the move.”

The taller boy waved him off. “Relax. Let her work out whatever’s bugging her; it’s not like she can hurt me or something with those doll-sized fists.” He made a face at Trini and in a high pitched squeaky voice he said, “Teeny-tiny Trini.”

“Oh geez,” Jason clapped his hands together like a blackjack dealer, “I’m out. If she hurts you, I’m not responsible.”

“She’s not gonna hurt me,” Zack smirked. “She lurves me too much.”

“Wanna bet?” Trini hissed, back on her feet. “Let’s do this again so afterward I can celebrate by jamming your nose through the back of your head!”

“If you insist, my young Padawan.” 

They tried the move again and unfortunately, Trini had to spit out a mouthful of gravel for the effort. “Fuuuuck! God damn it! You asshole!” 

“Hey, your suckiness isn’t my fault,” Zack shot back. He went and took another drink.

“No? Maybe you’re not teaching it right, loser!” she got back up.

“Don’t blame me because you can’t keep up!” 

“Zack, don’t. That’s low and untrue,” Jason reprimanded the other boy.

“Can’t keep up? Son of a… you’re gonna regret that, you mother fucker.” 

“Language,” Jason scolded out of reflex.

“Regret what? Owning you? Come on, squirt, bring it.”

“Stop with the short shit!” Trini demanded. 

Laughing, Zack shook his head. “Relax, learn to laugh at yourself.”

“You’re not gonna be laughing when I break your jaw.”

The tense moment was broken by Kim’s laughter drifting over as she and Billy joked around. The Pink Ranger had apparently failed at what she was doing and ended up on the mat and both she and Billy were amused.

Zack smirked devilishly when Trini’s eyes snapped over to Kim for an instant before snapping back. “Remember, Little Ranger, you won’t win the Princess’s heart with violence,” he winked. He knew by saying it that he was treading on thin ice but it was too tempting to keep pushing at Trini.

Jason opened his mouth to reign them in but Trini finally lost the last shred of control over her mouth and started speaking angrily in Spanish. Jason didn’t understand her however, when Zack’s eyes grew dark and angry Jason figured the Latina had said something way out of line.

“Enough, both of you,” he stepped in. Or tried to.

“No, no, Jase. If she’s gonna talk big, let her back it up,” Zack said lowly. 

“You know I will,” Trini sneered. 

Insulted and now back in a mood of his own, Zack decided to egg the smallest Ranger on to make her burn through this wild energy she was putting out. Either that or he was going to pick her up and throw her up into the mirror pool to cool her off. She had no right to make the comment she did and he only saw red because of it.

Leaning in, he tossed out an insult he knew would set her alight. “Aww, what’s the weak, baby Ranger gonna do? Throw another tantrum? Kick up some dirt? Here, wanna little water for mud pies?” He splashed water from his bottle at her face and the ground near her. 

“Zack, knock it off!” Jason demanded. 

Smirking at a livid, sputtering Trini, Zack let his eyes flicker over to Kim’s direction. “Maybe if you ask real nice, she’ll help hose you off after I drag you through the dirt,” he whispered. He wagged his eyebrows at her lecherously. 

Zack knew he was breaking his promise somewhat but Trini had attacked him about his father being absent and he was hurt. Unknowingly, she’d hit on the exposed nerve that was making him upset already that morning, so after the hurt faded all he felt was hot anger. While he’d never physically harm Trini, Zack was mad enough to feel justified in shooting back at the same emotional level as Trini attacked him on. 

He was pretty sure how she felt about the Pink Ranger since, despite her attempts at being a hardass, stars and hearts appeared in her eyes when she looked at Kim sometimes. And she’d suggested as much a few times. He gave his word that he’d never truly betray her trust and he wouldn’t but whispering taunts to get a reaction was well within his wheelhouse.

“ARRRGH!” Trini bellowed in rage and launched herself with a growl at the dark-haired boy who was unprepared for such a rapid attack below his center of gravity and went down hard. The water bottle went flying. “Imma feed you some dirt in my fist, mother fucker!”

“Language,” Jason muttered absently, again. “Assholes.”

Trini was way angrier than Zack was anticipating and not doing much to pull her punches. He possibly pushed a little too far since he wasn’t looking for an actual brawl. 

“Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Take it easy! Put the claws away, I was kidding!” 

“Kidding? Yeah right! I’m not so tiny now, am I, big man? Huh?” Managing to land a good hit to Zack’s side, Trini grinned smugly. 

He glared at her as his ribs ached. If she wanted to play that way. “Nope, still tiny. Petite, little, small, micro…”

“Micro? Oh, you must mean your penis,” Trini lashed out with her leg trying to sweep out his feet. “And your sperm count!”

Zack’s lips pressed together as he jumped out of the way. “Y’know, your mouth is gonna get you into trouble one day.”

Hands-on her hips, Trini sneered at him. “When? When I steal your girl?” She made an obscene gesture with her fingers, lips, and tongue that made Zack’s eyes widen.

“Dirty!” he accused as she went at him again. He blocked and defended himself the best he could. “Like you’d have a chance…”

“What? To poach a girl from you? Any time,” Trini taunted confidently. “Because I got that BDE and you’re dickless!” She emphasized the last word with a direct shot to her friend’s nuts which he barely blocked and backed away in pain. “Yeah, I ain’t scared of you. I don’t give a fuck how big you are; you come at me and I’ll fucking end you.”

“Trini, stop,” Jason sighed. 

Angry, Zack charged her. 

“Zack…” Jason sighed again. “GUYS! STOP! NOW!” He watched the two scramble in the dirt like a pair of cartoon animals fighting until he walked over and physically grabbed Zack and flung him a few feet away. “ENOUGH!” he bellowed. 

They righted themselves and climbed to their feet. 

Trini was glowering at the much taller teen with a look that would scare most of the rest of the planet into surrender. Zack had stolen the yellow bandana keeping Trini’s hair off her face and was now holding it over her head and taunting her with it. 

“Come and get it, eeny weeny teeny Tiny!” He was going to make her work for it as revenge for the penis comment. He clicked with his mouth the way he would if he were playing with a cat.

Trini leaped at his arms as Zack twisted away. Landing on his back, she tried to crawl up further for the bandana. 

“Get off! I’m not a scratching post you rabid little chipmunk!” He managed to throw her off. Trini flipped and turned in the air so that when she landed on her feet she was facing Zack and not away. Jason was actually impressed; clearly, Kim had shown her that.

“Chipmunk?? Son of a puta!”

“Hey! My Mama likes you!”

“I like her too but I fucking hate you right now!” Trini roared. She jumped and grabbed him by the ear and twisted. He screamed and almost went over backward before managing to shake himself loose.

“Ow, shit! You almost ripped my ear off!"

"Crybaby, pussy!" 

“That’s not helping,” Jason muttered. Rolling his eyes, he made a mental note to limit one-on-one sparring time between the two until they were better at staying on task. As well as to never let a cranky Ranger spar with a live opponent. 

Holding the bandana as far up in his fingers as he could, Zack then put his arm up over his head. Essentially, the cloth was in the air at over twice Trini’s height. He waved it like a red flag in front of a bull. 

“You can’t reach it! You’re too shooort. Whatcha gonna do, shortcake? No, no, no… Shortstack! Like tiny pancakes!” Zack heckled a red-faced Trini. “Nah nah nah nanah nah!” He let out an unmanly squeak as she sprang at him in the face this time. “Shit!”

“Zack, stop egging her on!” Jason ordered, fed up. 

“Why does Kimmy get to call you short but I can’t, huh?” Zack whispered viciously. “I wonder why she gets a pass…”

There was a bang, a yelp, a thud, and a groan of pain. Finally, one Ranger was victorious. 

“Trini, take your knee off his chest and let him breathe. Enough! Both of you get up. This is ridiculous.” Both Rangers slowly obeyed and got up off the ground. “You're teammates and friends, what the hell is this? What is wrong with you?”

“I dunno.”

“Yeah.”

“He started it.”

“What are you, five?”

“That’s not good enough. Trini, come on. Zack’s being an asshole but you’re out of control,” Jason pointed out. He was direct but his tone was kind. 

She shrugged and looked down. “I came in here already having an off day and I don’t like comments about my size, you know that. He keeps poking at me and I’m already pissy. If you’re gonna fucking bully me, I mean… What do you expect?” 

Jason shot a pointed look at Zack who blushed. 

“I’m pissy too. Yeah, I got a little carried away with it but you said some mean stuff. And I was just trying to get you to like, burn your energy out so you’d give up for the day and we could go home. I’m hungry and tired.”

Trini glared. “Weak, man. I’m trying to learn how to fight right and I don’t always learn at the same pace as you and it takes me a minute. Give me a chance; I’ll get it, same as I know you will when it’s you with the problem. Don’t throw this shit in my face when I’m already having trouble. It’s uncool.” She frowned. 

_ I already feel like the weak runt, don’t make it worse, _ she added to herself. “I’m sorry about what I said about your Dad but, this is life and death, dude. Don’t rush me or get mad at me when I’m trying to learn.”

“Alright, I hear ya, Crazy Girl,” Zack said in understanding. “I messed up.” He could tell from the look she gave him that the real problem she was having was the comment he’d made about her feelings for Kim and he sighed. “Ok, I said some things I shouldn’t have. We both did. I’m sorry, T. Forgive me?”

“No, man, the Princess and mud things were outta line,” she stressed with a head quirk. “Too low.” Jason listened in confusion but said nothing when Trini gave him a sideways glance. “I wouldn’t have said any mean shit like that to you if you hadn’t pushed so far first. I trus… dude, don’t use shit I tell you in confidence as ammo. That’s fucked up. It makes me not wanna trust you if you’re just gonna get a fucking laugh offa it.” She let the hurt bleed into her voice so he’d understand how betrayed she felt. 

Zack’s heart twisted. “Shit, you’re right; that’s not what I was doing. I’m genuinely sorry,” he apologized. His face was contrite. “I won’t tease like that again.”

“You better not,” she grumbled. “They’ll need x-ray vision to find what’s left of you.” 

“I can’t promise the same about the short stuff though. I mean, look at you.”

“Such a fucking asshole,” Trini complained but bumped fists with him. ”Won’t be so funny when I break both your legs.”

“Such violence, Yellow,” Zack tsked. “Kinky.”

Clapping his hands together once, Jason startled them. “Good! Now, if you’re finished behaving like poorly trained circus animals, let's get back to learning how to properly protect this city,” Jason said with a dirty look to them both, “Let’s start again but this time, Trini, your timing is off. Slow it down and for God’s sake, focus! You’re supposed to be superheroes.” As the other two Rangers squared up, Jason ran a hand through his blonde hair and muttered under his breath an exasperated, “Christ on a cracker. Is it a full moon or something?”

\---

Nearby, Kim was helping Billy with his balance on a set of raised balance beams. The Blue Ranger was a strong, strategic fighter who had an impressive set of kicks and jabs that were nothing but a flurry of motion. However, he had an issue with quick changes in his balance, especially if the ground beneath him shifted which it often did when fighting Putties.

Since Kim was the gymnast and had a natural sense of balance that he’d witnessed himself, Billy had reached out to her for assistance and she’d been more than happy to help. They’d been working for about two weeks and he was already feeling more sure of himself on the beams. Not as confident as Kim but he’d stopped grinding his teeth while on them.

“You can’t rely on your eyes, Billy,” Kim explained. “They’ll trick you; even if it looks like it’s going one way, it can go the other. You can’t look, you just gotta feel it. Trust your body.” 

Billy’s face was screwed up in concentration. The beams were on small motors that made them shift randomly and it was hard for him not to watch for them to roll. When Kim was on them, she made it look so easy to move and stay balanced that it frustrated him when he couldn’t do the same. Often, he’d have to take a deep breath and remind himself that he hadn’t taken over ten years of gymnastics and dance classes so it was naturally going to take him longer. He was going at his own pace and that was good enough.

He heard the click of the motor and tried to anticipate the next roll.

“Whoa….oooph!” he grunted as his back hit the ground and a cloud of dust puffed up at his landing. “Dang nabbit!” 

Kim jumped down and offered him a hand up. Her face was bright and encouraging. “You’re doing fine. You’re gonna get it. Actually, I have an idea. Hang on.” Walking over to the area they stashed their bags, she brought out her phone and Bluetooth speaker. “You always work better with music,” she explained while setting up the devices. “You have to think of your balance like a constant dance. I know you can dance; I’ve seen you make a giant robot swivel its hips.”

Her humor shook off the last of Billy’s annoyance with himself and he smiled. “The Algebra,” he reminded her, mimicking the dance moves. 

“Exactly,” Kim laughed. “See? You gotta have balance to dance. Get back up on the beams and I’ll start some music; see if that helps.” 

Billy hopped back onto the lowest set of beams, not enjoying the falls from the middle ones or the highest ones that made his armor appear on the way down to protect him from the impact. Kim usually perched on the highest ones effortlessly, fearlessly when she was training. It made Billy nervous just to look at.

Kim hit play on her phone and an upbeat tune started to echo around the Pit. 

“Oh! I like this song!” he said happily. 

“Remember, try to feel the changes through your feet and don’t rely on your eyes. Your body will feel the shifts before your brain will translate what your eyes see. Things can go in all directions at once too. Anticipate for that.”

“OK,” Billy nodded. He focused on the music and watching Trini throw Zack a few feet instead of the noise of the beam motor. The diminutive Yellow Ranger jumped up and down cheering herself, making Billy grin while Jason and Zack both applauded her success.

After a moment, he realized the music was drowning out the noise of the motor and he was able to relax more into the exercise. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kim vault up to the highest beams and settle onto them, in her element. It didn’t matter if it was one or two beams she used or what setting the beams were put on, Kim’s balance generally didn’t waver. Standing, handstands, handsprings, back springs, you name it and barely did she wobble. The few rare occasions she did slip, she landed gracefully from any height, without the aid of her armor. 

Earlier she’d been showing him how to somersault backward until she’d made herself dizzy. That was an exception- she was unbalanced after that and it was funny to see her that way.

Billy enjoyed how happy Kim was when she was practicing her gymnastics skills. The emotion was so clear and obvious in her unconscious facial expressions that Billy had no trouble understanding it. The empathic link the Rangers shared thanks to the morphing grid was helping him learn what emotions their facial expressions conveyed but Kim was still hard to understand. It didn’t help that she blocked the link most of the time therefore he felt the least amount from her. He felt better and yet still unhappy to know that it seemed like it was the same for all of them, even Trini when it came to Kim.

To him, where he should feel her in his chest the way he did Jason, Trini, and Zack, he instead felt a weird empty ache. The severity of the pain depended on how much Kim allowed her emotions to flow over the shared link; if she shut it down, the aching was sharp. If it was open, it didn’t hurt. Billy was bothered that she hid so much from her friends and that some of what he could feel seemed so painful. Unfortunately, as much as he wanted to help, he didn’t know how to approach her and he didn’t want to get in Trini’s way. He liked how the smaller teen was carefully trying to reach through to Kim and also recognized how fragile that attempt was. He wasn’t going to jeopardize it. 

They were beautiful together in a way that went beyond what he could see with his eyes and when he focused inward, their auras swirled together in a breathtaking kaleidoscope of pink lemonade when they were in close proximity. No one else’s auras interacted like that and the more time the two spend together, the more tangled their auras were becoming. 

Slightly distracted, his feet stumbled on the bar. He almost lost it but corrected himself and rebalanced.

“You’re getting it!” Kim cheered him. “Keep going!” 

The others had walked over to watch them but Billy concentrated on the music while using his feet to feel the shifting of the inner beams before the outer beams began to move. He worked on anticipating and reacting at just the right moment to stay balanced as they went through a series of random shifts, stutters, and pauses intended to shake him off. It was only level 1 compared to Kim’s high level but it was difficult.

One final lurch knocked him off but he landed on his feet, albeit steadied by Jason.

“Nice job!” Kim crowed from above. She was on one leg, riding out her own sequence on the highest beam set. Her other leg was stretched out to the side. 

“Show off!” Trini accused. Inside she was jittery wondering why Kim did these sorts of things with her safety. True, her armor would appear to help her but Trini wasn’t one to blindly trust in those things. This casual disregard twice in a row was nauseating. 

Kim stuck out her tongue, swiftly changed position and in a move that Trini was sure cut 10 years off her little Latina life, leaped backward from the beams. 

Billy stimmed in fear.

Jason swore to God, buried both hands in his hair and pulled.

Zack just swore.

Trini could only make a choking sound. She was positive her heart came to a complete and total stop until Kim’s feet hit the ground again.

Kim sliced gracefully through the air and landed in an epic superhero knee pose beside them. A cloud of dust rose up around her. 

“What?” she asked cluelessly when they all gaped at her and at the upper beams. She followed their gaze up and then back to them. “That? My cliff is higher. So was my Zord.”

“There’s no water here,” Jason pointed out, shaking his head with a wry smile. It was typical Kim being Kim.

“I’m not sure if you’ve heard but we’re superheroes,” Kim teased him. “We’re also totally safe here. C’mon, I even landed in ‘the pose’. It was kinda awesome. Like, trading card picture awesome.”

“Hell yeah, it was awesome!” Zack declared. “High five, Princess!” They smacked hands. 

“I think that’s the height limit without something to slow me down though,” Kim admitted, shaking out a sore ankle. 

“Nah, I bet you can jump from higher…”

“What did I say about egging people on?” Jason complained. He pointed a finger at Kim. “No. That’s the limit.”

“Sure thing, Dad,” Kim joked, making Jason wince. She was completely unrepentant so he switched to encouraging Billy and dismissed them all for the day.

“What did I tell you about leaping off high things?” Trini chided, not amused.

“Uhm… avoid jumping from so high up? So I did. That was much lower,” Kim pointed out with a cheeky grin. 

“Technically,” Trini grumbled, “I’d prefer if you’d stop completely.” 

“I can pretty much promise that I won’t be doing it from up there without my armor again, at least. I stuck the landing but it stung.”

“I feel better now,” Trini smirked. 

Kim gasped in fake outrage. “I deserve that,” she agreed. “You ok?” she asked, brushing some dirt from the shorter girl’s shoulder. “I saw you having trouble with that move Jason was trying to teach you.”

“I got it,” Trini responded proudly, rubbing her stomach as it growled. “I threw Zack a good ten feet. Made him eat some dirt. I think need to brush my teeth a few times to get the dirt out of mine though.”

“Ew.”

From the way she tilted her head, Trini knew Kim was about to ask something personal and she wasn’t in the mood. “Yeah, I ate it a few times before I managed to get it.”

“That’s good. And the scuffle?”

“You saw that?” Kim hummed positively. “Some words were exchanged. We’re all good now. No problem. Ug, I split my inner lip earlier too but it’s mostly healed. I’ve just got that rough patch where it was but now all my tongue wants to do is rub against it constantly which irritates it.”

“I hate that. And I’m enjoying the distractions but what else is bothering you?” the brunette asked plainly, causing Trini to stumble in their walk to their recently claimed locker area. Kim reached out to steady her. “Was I not supposed to notice this morning’s epic mood? Or that brawl with Zack you brushed off. C’mon, I don’t know you  _ very _ well but I know you well enough.”

“You know me better than most,” Trini told her honestly. Slipping behind her side of the partition that separated them when changing, she let out an uneasy breath. “I wasn’t expecting the bluntness.”

Kim snorted from the other side. “You should; it’s me. Plus, you show up at my house at all hours calling me out, expect the same from me.” The words were friendly and Trini knew she had a valid point. “Package deal and all that.”

Trini tried somewhat unsuccessfully to suppress that warm fuzzy feeling that emerged when Kim said things like that. “Yeah. It’s just the usual shit with my Mom is all,” she confessed. “She’s been on my back lately and being kinda extra, I guess.” 

“I’m sorry. That sucks.”

“Yeah. I mean, she’s always up my ass but lately, she’s outta her mind. She’s bitching about school, ‘bout my clothes, that I’m not home enough, I’m spending too much time with you guys… too much time with  _ you _ .”

“Oh.”

“Hey, it’s not your fault,” she pointed out, not liking the slightly guilty tone to Kim’s voice. 

“I’ve been dragging you everywhere with me lately. I don’t want to get you into trouble.”

“Kim, I don’t like being home,” Trini explained patiently. “My Mom shouts questions at me or rants about me not being girly enough, bitches about my clothes or my music. Then there’s my favorite; she talks about the ‘nice, young men’ her church and work friends have as sons when she knows I’m gay. Even if I didn’t prefer to spend time with you, I wouldn’t want to be home.” She edited out the most recent development, unable to give it voice just yet. 

“I’d prefer to spend time with me too if that’s the alternative.”

“I like spending time with you. You don’t randomly drug test me.” 

Kim’s rich laughter filled the room. “Cuz I know you’d fail.”

“Hey!” Despite Kim not being able to see her, Trini blushed. 

Kim’s giggles followed her around the corner.

Once Kim’s shower was running, Trini went to her own shower to rinse off the layers of dirt she’d collected. The sound of Kim singing along to the shower radio she’d bought bounced off the walls around them. Her voice was rich, yet still light and breathy- somehow perfect for her.

_ Typical. She’s good at everything. I should hate her for it but I just like her more. _

“Hey! How old were you when you started gymnastics?” 

“Practically birth!” Kim called back, turning down the radio. “Because I was so premature, I was really little and weak. I had to do something to build dexterity, muscle, and bone strength so my parents started me with gymnastics pretty much as soon as I could walk and a few years after that I started to dance too. I don’t remember a time when I didn’t do either. What about you? You told me you did martial arts?”

Trini’s voice carried over the sound of the shower. “I was little because well… but I kept getting into fights with bigger kids who picked on the other little kids. It made me angry. I didn’t win that often but it made me what my grammar school princi-PAL called an ‘emotionally immature hellion with violent tendencies’ on an official report after I beat up an older boy for shoving a girl into the mud to make her skirt flip up. He was 11, I was 8. I broke his nose.”

“Whoa.”

“Yeah, Mama was not proud. ‘That is not who I am raising my little girl to be!’,” she mimicked her mother. “Oh, if she only knew. My Dad, who was much more understanding, put me into karate classes so maybe I could learn to direct some of my energy. When I turned out to be good at it, we found better classes I actually wanted to do, Jiu-jitsu. Mom put me in dance classes to try and even it out. Keep me girly and whatnot.”

“Did you keep doing it when you were moving around?”

“Yeah, as much as I could. I also took up meditation and tai-chi for the anger issues when I got older. They’re still there but I haven’t busted a kid’s nose in a long time.”

“That’s good. Looked like you came close to breaking Zack’s earlier.” A dull thud on the wall between them answered her. “Don’t punch the wall, Trin.”

“Sorry. I….I hate all the short jokes,” she admitted. “His endless teasing. I mean, I don’t hate all of them. Like, when you and I joke, that’s fine because you’re playing and you stop before I get genuinely mad. But when he gets like he was today and pushes and pushes at it and then literally holds my stuff over my head, it pisses me off. I  _ know _ I’m small; I’ve always  _ been _ small. It’s why I’m already so fucking defensive. It’s hard to be taken seriously when you can’t see over the fucking counter at 7-11.”

Kim had been to 7-11 with Trini and it had taken biting into a Slim-Jim not to giggle at how the raised center platform point-of-sale area had towered over the other girl. They were temporarily banned from the store now because Trini chucked her pack of peanuts at the laughing cashier’s face. 

“I know you can take him but, you want me to tell him to back off?” she offered her friend. “If he’s not listening to you, trust me, I’ll make him listen to me.”

The angry tone to Kim’s voice made the warm sensation return and bloom in Trini’s chest. A rush of protectiveness from the Ranger link washed over her more clearly than the water cascading from the showerhead above her. The last of her resentment from Zack’s teasing circled the drain with the remnants of soap and dirt she was scrubbing off. Kim had a natural way of lifting her spirits without trying.

“Nah, I’ll share my lunch with him next time I have extra spicy chilis and chipotle or something and watch him turn purple,” she planned. “He has like, no tolerance. It’s sad.”

“Ha! Take pictures.”

The shower next to her shut off as Kim finished her shower. Up to that point, Trini had done well at keeping her mind and hormones off what was on the other side of the thin wall between them but as the other girl started to hum and the sound of the towel drying her off floated on the air with it, her mind wandered.

_ It’s no big deal, I’ve seen her in her pajamas… just because she’s naked and literally within arm’s reach… naked and soft… Gah! Come on! You’ve been showering next to her after training for weeks; get a grip! _

Still, the image of Kim toweling off was insistent. 

_ Stop, I will not think about helping her towel off. Or following the water droplets from the ends of her hair down her neck and over her shoulders with my tongue down to her nip… _

“Trin?” Kim’s voice startled her from the daydream she was slipping into.

She yelped in surprise, nearly slipping and falling but caught herself. “Wh…,” she cleared her throat to bring her voice back down from a squeak to the right register, “what?”

_ Bad Trini, bad friend! You’ve got to get a grip, perv. _

“I said you forgot your towel, want me to go get it?” If Kim noticed the lapse in attention or odd reaction, she did a fantastic job of keeping her voice neutral for which Trini was eternally grateful. 

“Shit, seriously? Yeah, thanks.” 

“I didn’t think you wanted to run across the room nekkid but thought I’d make sure.” The rich laughter that followed the statement made Trini sigh and smile as she shut off the water. Her friend’s teasing was always light and easily escapable if she became uncomfortable. It caused her to treasure Kim even more and made her work to be the same in response.

Moments later, Kim’s hand reached around the curtain with a towel in it. “Here ya go.”

The shower curtain hid the full-body blush that covered Trini as she reached for the towel. “Thanks.” As her hand closed around it, her blood ran cold. There on Kim’s wrist were several too-perfectly straight horizontal white lines. 

The world around her tilted on its axis and the edges of Trini’s vision went gray. _ _

_ Scars! _her mind shouted at her. _Oh my God, those are self-harm scars._ _Real scars aren’t that perfect. Oh, Princesa, how did I not see them sooner? _

Not that she didn’t have a few of her own but these were proof that the sadness Kim sometimes felt, her ‘off-days’ were worse than she was letting on or at least had been at some point in the past. 

There was one vertical line that was a few inches long and had clearly needed stitches. Whoever had done them had done such a good job that it was only because she was so close and under harsh lighting that she could see that scar at all. It virtually disappeared otherwise. Not so much for the others. It was surprising really that with Kim’s darker skin tone, she hadn’t noticed them much sooner.

Before she could take a really good look at the rest, Kim’s arm was gone. 

Humming followed Kim as her damp footsteps indicated she was headed to get dressed and had no clue about her friend’s inner turmoil because of what she’d seen.

_ I don’t know what to do with this information _ , Trini realized, trying to cap what she was feeling from the Ranger link.  _ This is big, I mean if she’s been in that place before then… _

Her mind reran some of the flippant remarks Kim had a habit of saying that never sat well with her and things began to make a little more sense when it came to the enigmatic older girl. Not that it gave her any idea how to approach the situation. 

_ I can’t like, just ask her about it; she’ll retreat and be worse than I am when Mama does the same to me. I wouldn’t scream at her about it like Mama does me but still. We’re the same in some ways and if she came to me about my scars, I’d probably tell her to fuck off. I’m not dumb enough to expect any different. She’s not gonna just open up. And if I keep pushing her about this sorta stuff, she’ll shut me out and I’ll fuck up our friendship.  _

Stepping out of the shower with her towel wrapped around herself, Trini continued listening to Kim hum as she walked to her section to get dressed. Pieces started to come together to form larger sections of the greater Kim picture, answering some questions Trini had about her friend while creating countless more. Thoughts and assumptions started to shift and as they did, anger started churning in her belly, overcoming her fear and grief. In a lot of ways, she already knew a lot of the ‘why’s’ involved and her blood was starting to boil as her rage found focus.

There was no doubt in her mind that while mental illness played its part, people like Amanda, Harper, and Ty made how Kim felt worse. It was obvious, actually, since they were still doing it. Despite Kim’s stiff upper lip, which didn’t crack in public, each attack chipped away a little more of her. She hid it well but Trini was learning to see the signs. Some days, Kim’s eyes were dull and sturdy shoulders slumped a lot more than Trini liked. 

_ That’s ok, I’ll pick up some of the weight, _ she decided.  _ I’ll see what I can do to help out a little more. Let her know, somehow, that I understand and she’s not alone.  _

What bothered Trini, even more, was the way Kim seemed to have been trained to overlook her own suffering for the sake of other people. As an example, after their battle with Rita and Goldar, she made sure all four other Rangers had medical assistance before she did, insisting on it. This was despite the fact that she was burned badly in places. And she constantly dismissed any inquires anyone made about her health. 

_ That’s something that’s gonna have to change, _ Trini vowed. She knew she had to figure out why Kim was that way to begin with before they could work on changing it, though.

“Are you upset about something?” Kim asked, startling Trini from her thoughts. 

“Huh? No, why?” Trini deflected carefully.

Kim’s voice was marginally closer like she was right up against the thin partition that separated them. “I can feel something on the link from you; it’s hot and feels angry.”

Searching for any sort of excuse, Trini’s mouth opened. “Uh, I stubbed my toe on the shower wall getting out.” Even she winced at the lameness. 

“Sure,” the older girl said although it was clear she didn’t buy it. Still, she let it go much to the Yellow Ranger’s relief. “Wanna go get something to eat?” 

Letting out a long, silent breath, Trini nodded. “Yeah, I’m starving. No donuts, though. I need actual real food.”

Kim laughed. “Without Krispy Kreme, donuts don’t do it for me anyway. I was thinking more about actually going to a restaurant and sitting down like normal people. Or as close as we get.”

“I’m sort of short on cash…”

“Trini…” Kim warned. Kim never made a big deal about her financial status while at the same time always made it clear that a lack of money on Trini’s part was never a problem. It made the Latina uncomfortable but Kim became outright insulted when she put up an argument about it. Secretly, Trini was keeping track of every penny Kim spent on her in the hopes of paying it back.

She knocked on the wall to indicate she was dressed and watched Kim’s head appear around the side. “So?” the brunette asked. “You. Me. Lotsa food to cram in our faces and people to wait on us instead of answering my door for the delivery guy?”

“Where to?” Trini responded.

“That’s better,” Kim smiled as they headed out to the mirror pool to leave. “Probably the Garden of Olives. I want breadsticks.”

“Sounds good. They’re probably going to lose their minds over the amount we eat.” Glancing down, Trini realized the white lines on Kim’s wrist were gone.

_ She fucking covers them with makeup! Duh. Her skin is too dark for them not to be noticed otherwise.  _

“Or the amount of cheese I use. Like, just back away from the wedge and the grinder. I’m a grown woman, I’ll decide when I’ve had enough cheese without your snarky judgy eyes, thank you,” Kim declared. “And bring more breadsticks. Trust me, I won’t hurt myself.”

Despite the way her mind was doing somersaults with her new info about Kim’s inner pain, Trini couldn’t help but smile at the brunette’s ranting about cheese.

“You do eat a lot of cheese.”

Looking from Kim’s wrist up at the mirror pool, Trini’s mind added:  _ waterproof makeup. Sneaky, sneaky Princess.  _

“That I do. Cheese is life.” Kim noticed the strange look on Trini’s face. “What?”

Trini covered her thoughts quickly. “Don’t you think it’s a little dumb that we shower, dry off, and then jump up through a lake?” 

Kim laughed, understanding. “Nope, two words; shampoo and soap. Plus the dry clothes and hair products in my car.”

  
  



	15. Stuck in a Freefall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TAGS: TRIGGERING, Homophobia, language, parental issues, PTSD, nightmares, anxiety, panic attacks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Almost on time. I would have been closer but my internet provider had a huge outage that lasted several hours. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Maintaining her balance atop her boulders out at the old mine was typically never a problem for Trini when she was meditating. Many years of tai-chi classes and a natural sense of balance made it relatively easy. But today, she found herself constantly over balancing to one side or the other and having to re-correct, often overcorrecting and sending herself off the opposite side. It was only Ranger reflexes that saved her from a few bad falls. 

Like in training the day before, knowing why she was off-balance did nothing to fix the problem. 

Finally giving up, she let out a primal scream- a roar more like, full of the overwhelming frustration, fear, tiredness, and pain she felt. All the things she didn’t let herself express outwardly if she could help it. It echoed across the area and scattered a few birds who were lazing nearby. Then, she sat down lotus style on the rock, turned off her music, and stared out at the vacant, hollow land that made up the former mine. 

Trini came back to the word ‘overwhelmed’; it summed up how she felt. The most recent run-in with her mother, which she was trying not to admit happened, left her unsteady and insecure in a way she’d never experienced. The bottom had dropped out from under what she had assumed to be solid ground and left her reeling, almost in a free-fall. But not quite, thank God.

On top of her own personal horror show, Trini now had visual proof that her doubts about her best friend’s mental health were right; Kim wasn’t or hadn’t been, stable. There were too many self-harm scars on her left wrist for it to have been anything less than an expression of pain and a cry for help. There were possibly more of them elsewhere, Trini wasn’t sure. It wasn’t like she could ask, at least not at this point in their relationship and especially not with the way she’d been ‘poking’ at the emotionally reclusive Pink Ranger before this. 

But what she’d seen meant that the little things she’d been noticing, the little quirks and tics that sent up red flags regarding Kim’s self-image and sense of self-protection/safety/preservation couldn’t be brushed off as her imagination anymore. These things were going to have to be taken seriously and if they went too far, she’d have to bring Jason into it. 

Which would possibly make her lose Kim. But at least Kim would be alive to hate her for it.

Between her family life and what she was learning about Kim’s private life, she was feeling stunned and directionless. As someone who typically adapted to things as they happened, it wasn’t something she was used to feeling. It wasn’t that there wasn’t something to do, it was that there was too much to do and she was just stuck. Like trying to decide what toy to play with first on Christmas morning but being unable to choose because they all look equally good. Or in this case, equally heartbreaking.

Appearing still on the surface, underneath Trini was always in motion and usually, she was moving in a forward direction. Right now, she felt like she was spinning her wheels.

Or three of her tires were flat and deep in the mud. Possibly quicksand.

Trini was out of her element and two of the main people she went to, to talk about these things were two of the main ‘problems’. Although she wouldn’t really consider Kim a problem, her mother was a different matter. Her father was becoming amazingly understanding about things but she couldn’t tell him about Kim because in her opinion he’d just make things worse. He’d probably call Kim’s parents and all Hell would break loose. Lord only knew how close or far Kim was from her edge and Trini didn’t want to find out which the hard way. 

With her mother, Miguel had been there for the blowout with her mother. He had already deflected the threat and mitigated most of the damage. What more could he say or do? She couldn’t go to the guys either; she didn’t want to involve them in her mess and she wouldn’t betray Kim like that. At least not unless she felt Kim was in danger and she hadn’t seen anything to make her feel that way, not really.

Trini was on her own and she was lost.

_ What if I’m not strong enough to deal with my shit and Kim’s, _ she worried. _ I mean, I’m only 16 and if my Mom’s gonna be like that then what am I supposed to do for myself never mind Kim? What am I supposed to do? _

Anxiety clawed at her chest and throat, making her lungs burn and her air thin. She stretched out her arms and legs, giving them a shake before resetting in the lotus position and trying to meditate again to stop the panic attack before it got out of control.

_ Ok, first off, breathe, Trini. You can’t do anything if you panic and pass out. _

She closed her eyes and took a few deep cleansing breaths, taking the time to identify what she could smell.

_ Dirt. Pine, the trees. More dirt but fresher. The water from the rain shower earlier. Wet dirt, that’s the second dirt smell. Uhm, just fresh air smell. A little of the diesel from the old machinery. _

She opened her eyes; she was still anxious but no longer in danger of a full-blown panic attack which she hadn’t had in ages. But if she was going to have one, Trini figured now was as good a time as any.

Honestly, she was surprised she hadn’t had a bad one once the truth of her superpowers had settled in. That was a hell of a shock to her system.

Calmer but no less upset, she reached into her back pocket and pulled out a thick full-color brochure. Unfolding it, she winced at the front cover and wondered how such a small thing had ripped her world open so widely.

It was crinkled and folded in a few places showing the abuse she’d given to it and the contempt Trini felt for it but the damage did nothing to diminish its power. Disgruntled, she flipped through it while the memory of how she came across it and what came next played unwanted through her mind.

_ — _

_ The morning before, as she got ready to leave for training. _

Trini reached into the fridge for a cheese stick, grumbling when her hand came up empty. The bag of cheese sticks had been left in the fridge despite someone eating the last one.

“Damn it, you little mice,” she swore at her little brothers under her breath. “I miss being an only child,” she added when she saw that they were out of applesauce as well. 

Grabbing a bottle of water and an apple, she took the empty cheese stick bag to throw it out. She opened the kitchen cabinet that held the paper/recycling trash and stood a few feet away before balling up the plastic and tossing it towards the trash. She let out a loud groan when it bounced off the lid. 

“Gomez with the shit layup,” she chided herself. Bending over to pick up the plastic, she spied something else behind the garbage can. It took a moment of stretching given where it was located but she managed to pull it out between two fingers.

“What the hell is this?” 

It was a thick brochure for someplace called Adirondack Creator Educative Services (ACES). The cover was a photo of a bunch of diverse teens roughly Trini’s age gathered outside around a large boulder, surrounded by trees and a lake in the distance. Every teen wore the same t-shirt with the school’s slogan ‘ACES Helps You Climb Your Mountain’ splashed across a picture of a mountain on the front. There were equally generic smiles on each of their faces as well.

“Somebody drank the Kool-Aid,” she muttered to herself. “Cree-py.”

Opening the booklet, she started to read. It appeared to be a specialized high school that centered on the arts whether it was music, performance, or what Trini did. That part didn’t bother her. It looked like the school had a decent artistic program, at least in appearance. It included guest lectures from across several industries, performances from ballet companies, bands, artists, and Broadway shows on tour, Masterclasses in just about anything someone could wish for and a wide, sprawling campus that was indeed on a large, clean lake that the school owned. It was simply beautiful. Perfect. 

A bit too perfect and the other end of the school’s services made her suspicious.

There were different events listed that seemed odd for a place that billed itself as a non-religious high school, like regular mass (or whatever your religious affiliation, according to the listing), peer-to-peer counseling from students on ‘the other side of the mountain’, and outward bound sessions where they would go out in groups on ‘survival nights’ to camp out. Trini doubted they were anything like Ranger bonfire nights. They almost sounded like punishment with the way it was described in the booklet. 

There were rules dictating that there be little to no contact with family except for hand-written letters that were screened by staff; you could not leave for any reason (save a rare few); required that students adhere to a wide variety of dietary restrictions; that no electronics were allowed except what you are assigned; you were under constant 24-hour supervision and never allowed to be alone with a fellow student for any reason. It was all very strange.

It sounded less like a high school and more like one of Trini’s worst fears but she couldn’t find any religious affiliation on it that could confirm her suspicions. Reading some of the class descriptions didn’t help her paranoia. On the surface, they were named in a socially conscious way but still seemed suspect in the passive-aggressive descriptions. Or, Trini could admit to herself, she was indeed being paranoid, she wasn’t sure if she was too close to the situation to be objective at this point.

Needing answers, she clenched the booklet in her hand and went looking for its likely owner. She found her mother in her home office.

“What is this?” Trini asked, her voice low and still. She held the brochure up from where she stood in the doorway.

Turning around, her mother paled. “Trini, that’s one of these wonderful art schools we were looking at where you…” June began. 

_ Let’s start small. _ “Where I’ll be thousands of miles from home,” Trini finished for her mother. 

“Yes. But you would be getting a fantastic education and training with your art. ACES is a beautiful place, did you look at it? Not to mention the connections you could make. They could prepare you for and get you into a good college, one suited to your…”

“You’re impossible,” Trini sighed. Instead of the anger she felt when she first spied the booklet, all Trini felt now was sad and tired. “Sending me away won’t change anything. It won’t change who I am.”

“That’s from about a month ago. Your mother and I decided against them,” Miguel told Trini gently as he entered the room behind her. He’d been in the living room when Trini had asked her question; she’d used a certain tone of voice that made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end from across the house. That had never happened before so he immediately went to his daughter’s side. 

“While I like the idea of you getting more training with your art than you can get here in Angel Grove, I don’t like any of those places,” he quickly went on. “I didn’t like the idea of sending you away, either. You’re too young for that. And I promised you that you’d graduate here and I meant it. I gave you my word and you know what that means.” 

He gave her a look that made all the tension seep away from Trini’s small shoulders. Nodding, she let out a long breath. “Yeah, ok. But why were you looking?” Her question was directed at her mother.

June straightened her shirt. “I’m looking out for you, trying to make sure that you get the best education you can. I’m not sure how I feel about Angel Grove High.”

“Don’t you dare,” Trini growled. “Don’t you dare try to make me move away again!”

“You’d still be graduating here,” June began.

“That’s not what I mean,” Miguel interrupted. “I mean with her friends, June.”

“Fine, but Angel Grove doesn’t do anything to help with your art,” June tried a different angle.

“Because I haven’t gone to the art department and said anything to them,” Trini pointed out.

“What? Why not?” her mother asked, surprised. 

“I don’t want to,” the teen stated. She looked at her Dad. “I hate when people make a big deal about it. Just let me do my thing.”

“Trini, I thought you were going to talk to them when we moved here,” Miguel said with a note of disappointment in his voice. “So they could help you hone your talent and maybe help you look at colleges.”

A sense of regret hit Trini, not that she hadn’t spoken to the art department at school- she was fine with that decision but towards disappointing her parents. Although drawing attention to her art wasn’t her thing, she could see why it was important to her parents and she hated letting them down.

“I’m still taking art classes,” Trini shrugged it off. “And I got another year to look at colleges. It’s fine.”

“You need to start looking now,” June huffed.

Trini rolled her eyes. _ I doubt I’m going to college, Mom, what with being an armored superhero and everything. _ “I am, don’t worry.” Her pride chapped at being a liar. 

“What about this?” June asked her daughter, showing her a notebook. It was one that Trini had thrown out because someone had stolen it off her desk and scrawled ‘dyke’ across it while she was in the bathroom.

“Why were you going through my garbage? In my room? Come on, we have rules about this! Dad!” 

“I was changing out your garbage can,” June responded, glaring at Trini and Miguel. 

“Don’t tattle on your Mother,” Miguel said lightly. “Stay out of her room. We made a deal with her and we look bad if she’s the only one holding to it,” he said to June much firmer. 

“Fine,” June huffed.

“Trini? What is this?”

“It’s no big deal. I was done with that notebook anyway,” she grumbled.

“Have you talked to someone about this?” Miguel asked. “The principal?”

Trini arched an eyebrow at him in disbelief. “You really think something like this matters to him?”

He frowned. “It should.”

“Look, it’s no big deal,” Trini insisted. “It’s gonna happen no matter where I go to school and it’ll be worse if I say something. It’s how it goes. It sucks but it’s life.”

“You shouldn’t have to put up with this kind of abuse,” June told her firmly. “Especially a word so foul.”

A sly smirk pulled Trini’s lips into a curve. “I don’t. Trust me the kid that did it will get his.” Her parents looked at her expectantly. “I told the teach he was cheating off me, which he is so, yeah. It’s gonna suck to be him the next time we have a quiz.”

That seemed to appease both adults but Trini still had questions. She honed in on her mother. “Are you really gonna look me in the face and tell me that this school, ACES is just an art school and nothing else?” 

“Of course,” June responded just a hair too fast and too dismissively to be believable to Trini. “That’s all it is.”

“OK, right. I still don’t get why you were really looking at other schools,” she repeated. “We can’t afford anything like that. I mean, you’d have to take out loans and stuff.” She leveled a dark look at her mother. “So was it really so I wouldn’t be bullied anymore or was it a ploy to get me away from Kim?”

“Trini,” Miguel began. He didn’t want this to become another argument between the women in his life. If it did, he feared it being a truly bad one.

“Because even a million miles away, I’d still be gay.”

“Trinidad, I don’t know why you insist on being so difficult,” her mother said dramatically while pinching the bridge of her nose.

“And I’d still be friends with Kim.”

“These places would have helped with your art and education,” June insisted, ignoring the mention of Kim. 

“Yeah? This one doesn’t really look like it’s just a school,” Trini pointed out, picking up the pamphlet again. “It looks more like Scientology on meth crossed with one of those fake Bible camps or places for helping out-of-control teens that are really just covers for gay conversion therapy.”

“Trini, we’d never,” Miguel said with a note of hurt. 

A brief guilty expression passed over June’s face. Trini glared at her, knowing that there was more. “I’ll admit, a few of them also placed an emphasis on the word of God but that doesn’t mean that their programs were bad. Not all religious centers do conversion therapy and not all programs meant to help a person cope with or overcome same-sex attraction is automatically conversion therapy.”

“Don’t even start,” Miguel warned her. “That is something I will never do to her. There is nothing for her to overcome.”

Unfortunately, his fierce words and the ones that followed were lost to Trini. To her, it felt like something had struck her in the chest and knocked all her air out along with breaking all her ribs. Her mother was or had considered sending her for conversion therapy, religious-sanctioned torture. 

_ She… she’s looking at conversion therapy? Behind Dad's back? Oh my God… I can’t… _Everything spun for a moment and her stomach went cold. It took a conscious effort to keep her breathing under control and to not hyperventilate. Running a hand through her hair in an effort to dispel her vertigo, Trini shook her head. Everything around her shifted and shook; it felt like she was tumbling uncontrollably through space with nowhere to land. 

“I’m going to my room.” _ Before I fall! _

Before she could move, her father grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her to face him.

“Trinidad,” he began softly, “we will never send you to such a place.” He hooked his index finger under her chin and made her lift her face to his. The welling tears in her eyes that she stubbornly refused to let fall broke his heart. “I won’t allow it.”

“You promise?” she asked in a tiny voice, her bottom lip trembling uncontrollably. 

“You have my word with all my heart, sweetheart,” he vowed. “Never in a million years.” He hugged her tightly to him, surrounding her with his arms and his presence like a giant shield. He wasn’t a small man and years of hard, physical work had made him strong. Miguel wasn’t a man many people tried to start things with and he’d always made Trini feel safe in the past. The way he squeezed her and didn’t let go now reminded her of that safety and relaxed her greatly.

“Papa,” she whimpered into his arm, unable to stop herself. The shock and terror that she felt facing the possibility of a conversion therapy camp overruled her usual poise and rattled all her defenses. Especially since the threat came from her mother who had yet to speak up like Miguel did to reassure her that she wouldn’t send her there.

“Ssshhh, hija,” he cooed back. She was shaking in his arms. 

“This program I admit is suspect,” June agreed. “But a few of the places we looked at were genuinely good schools…”

“Not now, June,” Miguel nearly snapped. He sent her a look warning her to drop it. 

“Fine. I’m sorry this upset you so much, Trini but it’s over nothing. Now, I’m going to find something for us to have for dinner later this evening.” 

Once her mother was gone from the room, Trini dared emerge from her father’s protective hold. 

“I probably won’t be hungry,” she muttered, wondering how she was going to sit across to or next to the woman for the foreseeable future without fearing that she’s drugged her food so someone can drag her off to ‘camp’.

Trini knew that she was being melodramatic to an extent but it was only to an extent.

Hearing the absolute fear and betrayal in Trini’s voice made Miguel feel like a failure at his life in a way he’d never experienced. One of his main jobs was to protect his family and it was clear to him that he’d failed Trini in several ways.

He gently cupped the side of her face. “You don’t have to for at least tonight. Do you have somewhere to go if I let you leave?” 

Trini nodded immediately; any one of her four friends would open their doors in an instant. 

“I understand why you’re upset and I promise to you on God that I’ll never send you to one of those places,” he couldn’t even say it. “They’re abhorrent and against everything I have ever been taught about God’s love. You hear me, sweetie? I love you and God loves you, just as you are. So does your Mama, she’s just…” he sighed, “behind the times. But we’ll get there eventually.”

“I hope so,” Trini echoed his sigh.

“Me too. I’m so sorry I let this get away from us and I’m gonna work to fix it. We all need to work on fixing this rift that’s formed. But, right now, you’re hurting; your Mom’s upset and doesn’t understand…”

“That’s the biggest problem, Papa; she doesn’t get how hurtful this is! How fucking terrifying it is!” Her cry was desperate and heart-wrenching. Miguel let the swearing go. “The things some of those places do…! I can’t…”

“Ssshh, sweetie, I won’t let it happen,” Miguel promised again, pulling her in close for another hug. “Sssh, don’t panic.” He ran his hand through her long hair hoping it still soothed her like it did when she was younger. 

“Papa, I need to go,” she whimpered, trembling. 

Miguel nodded. “Go pack a bag for a day or so and let Kim know you’re coming.”

There was a slightly amused tone to his voice that made Trini want to kick him in the shin.

“And let me know how you are every few hours. It’s just for a day or so until you calm down and I get a chance to maybe explain to your mother why this subject is worse than she seems to think.”

“Ok,” Trini sniffled. “I might go to Zack’s.”

“All right. Just let me know,” Miguel humored her. “Try not to dwell on this too much. Talk it out with Ki- Zack or whoever, if you can and try to have some fun. No skipping school though.”

“I won’t,” Trini promised as she rubbed her nose. “Thanks, Papa. So much.”

“Of course. You’re my little girl; I love you.”

__

Sitting on the rock with her knees pulled to her chest, Trini sobbed as she rocked in place. While she’d been upstairs packing a bag, her Ranger-enhanced hearing had let her overhear her father patiently explaining to her mother why some of the places June had contacted for information were at best bad choices and at worst, dangerous. Curiously, June took no offense and was genuinely confused and shocked by some of the things Miguel was telling her about these places. Unfortunately, it was doing nothing to dissuade her from looking at such places again.

Her father had flatly told her how any attempts to place Trini in one such institution would end in failure.

Presently, her phone buzzing from her pocket broke her from her sniffling. Able to feel an unobtrusive thread of concerned curiosity over the Ranger link, Trini already knew who it was.

**POKEMON MOON**

Balcony’s unlocked

So’s the front door 

I’m home

If you need anything

And that was it. Kim didn’t ask her what was wrong nor did she give Trini a chance to deny that she was upset. The texts were simple statements of fact, openings to a safe place without any expectations or pressure. If she went to Kim’s and didn’t want to talk, Trini knew Kim wouldn’t push too hard, probably less than Trini would push her. Bottom line was, she was welcome.

She stayed on the Ship for the first night just to spite her father and said she was at Zack's but Kim’s house sounded more appealing. She sent off a text to tell her father, glad that she couldn’t see his smug expression, slung her heavy backpack over her shoulder and headed to her friend’s house.

As promised, the front door was unlocked and the alarm was off. Taking initiative, Trini locked the door and reset the alarm. Honestly, she didn’t think Kim was expecting anyone else anyway.

Sniffing the air, Trini tilted her head. _ Chocolate? _

Kim entered the open living room from the kitchen with a smile. “Hey you,” she greeted. 

She was in light blue sweats and an apron that said ‘Bake me, Sugar!’ above a threatening-looking cupcake with an angry face holding a spatula in one hand and wooden spoon in the other- a play on ‘Make me, sucka!’. Or at least that was what Trini assumed it was given Kim’s unique sense of humor but she couldn’t be sure. Still, the older girl looked adorable.

“Hey, nice outfit,” she snarked playfully.

Kim looked down at herself and then back up. “Oh, haha. Keep it up and you won’t get any cupcakes.”

Trini’s eyes lit up. “Cupcakes?”

“Yeah, chocolate cupcakes with chocolate frosting.”

“You’re baking cupcakes? No shit!”

An insulted look crossed Kim’s face. “Don’t sound so shocked. Strike two. You’re always claiming that I can’t cook so I’m going to make you eat your words.”

“This is technically baking, not cooking,” Trini teased, feeling her mood lighten in the presence of her best friend. 

Narrowing her eyes, Kim glared. “Ball one. Because it’s technically true. You’re not helping your case though. You’re getting the smallest cupcake. The tiny cupcake. The teacupcake.”

“Fine, fine, I give,” Trini laughed for the first time in over a day although it felt like years. She followed Kim back into the kitchen and frowned when she got a better look at her under the brighter lights.

“You ok?” she asked. 

There were dark circles under Kim’s eyes which were glassy too. The taller girl’s cheeks were flushed and she was a little sluggish but her mood was good.

Kim waved her off. “Bit of a headache behind my eyes, nothing big.”

Surprised to have gotten that much from her private friend, Trini nodded. “You sure you’re ok with me being here?”

“At worst I might need to take a nap after this but I do that to you anyway so it’s nothing new,” Kim joked. “You’re fine. I’m glad you’re here, actually. You’ll distract from the headache so it might not get too bad.”

“Ok.”

“How about you? You wanna talk about what’s eating you?” Kim asked gently.

“No,” Trini shook her head.

“You sure?” Kim asked as she walked to the refrigerator. 

Trini seriously considered it for a few moments but decided she really wasn’t in the mood. “Uhm… Yeah.”

Taking no offense, Kim nodded. “Ok. I’m here, though.”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

Kim handed her a bottle of green tea and a cup of applesauce from the fridge. “No big.” 

And that ended it. 

“Why cupcakes?”

“A few reasons,” Kim smirked. “PMS, the headache, and I figured you’d need cheering up when you got here.” Trini questioned her with a look. “Around 9 yesterday morning you sent a spike of shit-your-pants terror over the link. You didn't want to talk last night and that's fine but you have been sending out such fear and sorrow that I’ve been like, manic all day,” Kim blushed and drummed her fingers on the table. 

Trini looked away, embarrassed. “Sorry.”

“No, don’t be. We can’t control that,” Kim reassured her. “It’s what you felt and it’s ok. Own it.” 

Trini nodded but couldn’t quite look up yet. 

“I’m sorry something made you feel like that,” Kim said so softly it made Trini’s eyes water. “But you’re safe here, ok? Whatever it was? It can’t get you here. I won’t let it.”

Trini nodded again and tried not to sniffle which would give away her tears. 

The timer on the oven dinged. Kim got up from the table, her arm brushing against the box of tissues beside her and incidentally pushing it closer to Trini as she moved. 

“I made the frosting earlier so as soon as they’re cool enough we can slather it on thick,” Kim said eagerly. “I love it when they’re still warm enough to be gooey so the frosting gets a little runny and the cake itself is hot. Mmmmm…”

“You gonna break yours in half and turn it into a cupcake sandwich?” Trini asked with a watery laugh. She wiped at her eyes with a tissue while Kim’s back was turned.

“It’s called a poor man’s Whoopie Pie and I’ll do what I want,” Kim told her in a fairly decent imitation of Eric Cartman from South Park.

“God, you’re such a dork.”

“Meh, possibly,” Kim agreed with a hip check to close the oven door. “Twenty-four piping-hot chocolate cupcakes.” 

Trini was oddly pleased to see that Kim had put on oven-gloves to protect her hands. It was such a small thing but after the morning she’d had, it hit her in a big way.

They talked about nothing while they waited for the confections to cool enough and then frosted a bunch until they ate their fill. After she’d washed the chocolate off her hands and covered everything up, Kim asked for that nap which Trini was happy to let her have so they changed clothes and crawled into Kim’s bed. Trini wasn’t tired so she sat up against the headboard while Kim quickly fell asleep.

Thanks to their connection to the morphing grid, their physical injuries healed quickly and they seemed to avoid most colds and cases of flu- although Zack did get a horrible case of food poisoning from eating gas station sushi against Billy’s vehement warnings. It made the ride home from an impromptu Ranger road-trip somewhat unpleasant, especially for Zack and Billy with his personal aversion to bodily fluids. But for the most part, it usually took an extreme like that to affect them. Kim, however, still suffered from occasional headaches and when they hit like this they incapacitated her. Trini hated the alien technology for its spotty health coverage when that occurred as well as a few of its other shortcomings she’d been noticing.

Propped up with a pillow against the headboard, Trini had her earphones on low while she read a graphic novel Billy loaned her. The other girl was snuggled close against her with her nose pressed against her thigh and her arms wrapped around her legs. It wasn’t where the older girl had started but she seemed to be comfortable so Trini wasn’t going to move her. At least not until she began to notice how restless Kim was becoming as well as how unbearably hot her temperature was starting to get.

Kim was dismissive whenever she was asked about her sleeping habits so Trini didn’t want to wake her unless it was necessary especially given how the other girl was clearly unwell and hurting for sleep. Instead, she closed her eyes and concentrated on the morphing Grid to see if she could get a better sense of Kim’s condition first. Maybe there was a way to reach out and soothe Kim if she needed to without having to wake Kim all the way up. It was worth a try.

Zordon had been supplementing their physical training with what he called ‘mental acuity training’. This was aimed at helping the five teens adapt to and control the empathic link that the Grid allowed them to share and that they all felt that it was a huge invasion of privacy. They’d been putting in work to control it since surviving the battle but they were all jealous of Kim’s natural ability to hide or shield herself. 

Admittedly, they could each see the benefits of being able to sense each other and know when any one of them might be in danger. It would have been a huge help to Trini that night Rita attacked her in her room. And it wasn’t as big an intrusion as it first was but no one wanted everyone else to know every little thing they were feeling; it was embarrassing just to think about. Zordon assured them that once they learned to control their end of the link, their privacy would be returned. 

It was still early in the process, but it was easier for Trini to reach out to the others over the link than it was to block her end off.

Since Kim was in no real danger, she decided to take a quick look at the others first, as practice. Concentrating on the pulses of light she associated with her fellow Rangers, Trini saw Jason’s rich red pulse as steady and calm meaning he was likely relaxed watching television or asleep; Zack’s sleek black pulse was anxious but not scared which was familiar and meant he was worried about his mother but wasn’t alarmed -a normal afternoon for him; Billy’s brilliant shade of blue was excited and happy which possibly meant he’d invented or learned something new. Or blown something up. 

Satisfied the boys were all well, she shifted to a familiar shade of pink. Kim’s pulse was bright but blurry, distorted with waves of fear and guilt coming from it, two things that shouldn’t accompany a simple headache. The pink splotch stretched out and fluttered as a spike of fear came over the link. All three other colors sparked brighter in her mind’s eye, no doubt concerned with what they could sense. Trini tried to use what she was learning from Zordon to send back reassurances that she was there and was dealing with it.

She put her book aside and focused on Kim’s flushed face as her brow knit together. The brunette was starting to shudder and kick out with her feet. 

“Too hot... can't breathe...” Kim gasped as her breath started coming out in drawn-out pants. Her body jerked and twitched awkwardly, frightening Trini with its sudden movements; it looked like the sleeping girl was being electrocuted. “... crushing me…burns…”

Her voice was so small and frightened that it broke Trini’s heart. 

_ Another fire nightmare? This time with the battle as added fun? How bad are these? _

It was clear that all of the Rangers were having their own individual issues dealing with the battle. They’d barely survived so it wasn’t unexpected that there would be after-effects but witnessing Kim, who so often acted as if nothing bothered her, suffering so tangibly made it undeniably real to Trini. What they went through actually happened. 

But, any relief knowing that she wasn’t alone in having trouble dealing with it was vastly overshadowed by the guilt that she felt for accepting Kim’s help with her PTSD. She was taking all the help Kim was offering and more but when she stopped to think about it, they hadn’t addressed Kim’s PTSD.

Trini shook her head._ No, I haven’t addressed her PTSD. I just let her brush it off and now I’m on her doorstep with another problem. This one doesn’t even involve her but I’m over here dragging her into it. Well, my Mom does more than I do but I keep coming to Kim for help coping. I’m not being fair. How much is she supposed to carry before she breaks down? Damn it! _

Angry at herself, she took a breath to calm down and looked down towards her sleeping friend again. 

_ We’re both too young for all this shit, _she sighed. 

“Kim, Kim, wake up,” she encouraged, shaking her gently. Kim’s grip tightened and she seemed to be having trouble breathing, gasping erratically against Trini’s leg. When she didn’t respond, Trini tried again with a little more energy. “C’mon, sweetie, wake up.” 

Kim moaned and twisted in her sleep. To Trini’s shock, tears started leaking from Kim’s tightly shut eyes. She rarely if ever saw Kim cry anymore, even when she was in physical pain. A Putty had broken the taller girl’s forearm a week earlier in training when it flung her across the Pit by it. Despite what had to be agony, Kim had just grimaced and told a bad joke before Alpha 5 ran in to reset it. Her eyes had been wet with tears but not once did Trini, who stayed by the injured girl’s side the entire time, see one fall. It had bothered the youngest Ranger in the moment. While she didn’t like expressing her own emotions, pain from a broken arm was a perfectly acceptable thing to shed tears over in Trini’s opinion.

Kim’s grip tightened. “So hot...no air…” she cried, British accent coming out strong. A hard tremor rocked the slender body as another cry tumbled from her lips. “Crushhhhing… m-me...nnnooo...” She hiccupped in panic, whining slightly. The tears increased in volume.

“Sshhh,” Trini soothed as she slid down to face Kim and gently moved some sweaty hair away from her forehead. The touch seemed to calm the sleeping Ranger some so Trini kept softly trailing her fingertips across Kim’s cheeks, chasing away the tears as they fell. It didn’t seem to be doing much to wake Kim up as she kept muttering and sobbing. 

Thankfully, in the new position, her breathing began to ease a bit and she shifted according to Trini’s touch on her face. Trini hoped that her touch was reminding Kim’s subconscious that she wasn’t alone and that she was safe. Ironic, in a way, since Kim had been professing how safe Trini was at the house just an hour or two earlier.

“Hey, Princesa,” she whispered, moving to run her fingers through damp raven locks, scraping her nails gently when Kim unconsciously leaned into it. She bit her lip to swallow a whimper when one of Kim’s kicks landed hard against her shin. “Princesa,” she sing-songed, keeping her tone light and her anxiety away so Kim didn’t pick up on it. She was starting to get worried. 

Kim was usually a fairly light sleeper, always awake the instant Trini needed her. Sometimes, it seemed, before Trini even knew she needed her. But right now, Kim seemed unreachable. 

“You’re safe. I’m right here.” Moving the blanket lower and off of Kim to encourage her body to cool down, Trini watched Kim’s eyes move rapidly behind closed lids. “Shhh, easy,” she rubbed her hands over Kim’s arms and back, unsticking the girl’s damp sleepwear from her skin and moving the air around her. “It’s all ok. Let’s get you cooled down, ok?”

“Hold on...” Kim muttered, still trapped in her nightmare. Her hands gripped the front of Trini’s shirt almost tight enough to rip it. “...hold on…” Another terror-filled whine came from the back of her throat. Trini had never heard her so completely scared. “...please… I’m sorry…”

“Shhh, you’re ok, everything’s ok, we made it. We listened to you,” Trini told her. “We held onto each other like you said and we came back. We lived. You held us together.” 

She didn’t doubt that. The sound of Kim’s voice, strong despite the unbearable heat she was suffering as her Zord burned under unnatural flames, crushed inside a giant golden hand, was what kept them fighting. The hope and unwillingness to give in that Kim embodied was what helped them survive long enough for the Zords to combine, Trini was positive of it. 

Not that she’d tell anyone. “Come on, Cariño, it’s time to wake up. Come back to me.” Part of her mind clocked the accidental pet names that were slipping out from time to time when she was comforting her friend but she diligently ignored it. No one was around to hear it, not even Kim and it wasn’t that big of a deal. Really. At all. 

She pulled Kim in closer as chocolate eyes began to flutter. “That’s it. Just a little further, you can do it. I’m waiting right here for you and I’ve got some cool water.”

“Tree?” Kim exhaled as she awoke, her breath tickling Trini’s neck. “’s hot.” Trini ran her hands up and down Kim’s back, feeling the way the other girl’s shirt was still sticking to her from sweat. Somehow, Kim managed to fold herself so that despite being the larger of the two of them, she was completely engulfed by Trini’s embrace. The Latina found she quite liked being the ‘big spoon’, a shield for Kim against… whatever came.

“I think you’re running a fever,” she explained. Kim shook her head.

“M’ head hurts,” she groaned. “Don’ let m’ shake it again.” Trini laughed lightly and was relieved to see a small smile on Kim’s face.

“Did you take your headache meds?” She felt more than heard Kim breathe ‘yeah’ against her. “Here, drink some water.” Kim let her friend help her to drink the liquid, grateful for it once it hit her lips. “Whoa, not so fast. Do you wanna get up and get changed or go back to sleep?” Once Kim was done, Trini put the water bottle aside.

“Neither,” came the quiet response. “Just wanna lay here with you.” Trini’s heart galloped happily at the sentiment hoping that it meant she was of some help.

“I’d like that too,” she agreed. “But if you don’t cool off soon I’m gonna have to go get you some other medicine.” Kim nodded slightly against her and snuggled closer, her arms moving from the front of Trini’s shirt around to her back to hold her much the same way Trini was cradling her.

Kim was overly warm to the touch which was making Trini start to sweat as well but it was worth it if her presence was bringing relief to Kim in any way.

“I can hear your heart,” Kim murmured. She’d moved to press her ear against Trini’s chest. “‘S fast. An’ loud.” She let out a happy hum that made Trini happy as well. “I’m glad you’re here. You always make me feel better.” There was a long pause. “And you smell good.” 

It was an odd compliment but Kim was a little left of center anyway so Trini just smiled. “Probably my shampoo or lotion.”

“No,” Kim pouted, “it’s just you. Trini smell.” She took a deep breath and sighed happily, still somewhat disoriented from her headache and nightmare. “Sunshine, graphite, safety.” The graphite comment confused Trini until she looked down and saw the traces of the substance on the outsides of her hands from earlier sketching she’d done to try and calm her mind. 

“I thought I washed that off,” she said vaguely annoyed.

“You always smell a little of it, or ink, or charcoal. Whatever medium you’re using,” Kim mentioned softly. Her eyes were closed and the small wrinkles between her eyebrows from the headache were starting to smoothen out. Trini absently ran her thumb over that spot.

“What does safety smell like?” she wondered mostly to keep Kim talking until she was sure the nightmare wouldn’t pick up again if the older girl drifted off to sleep.

“Trini.”

“What?”

“No, it’s what safety smells like, you dork. You.” Kim groaned and buried her nose in Trini’s shirt. 

“My laundry detergent?” Trini smirked. Another long sniff followed which didn’t make her as uncomfortable as she thought it might.

Kim sighed. “I can’t explain it. Owww ...My head. Why does my brain hate me so much?”

“It’s always going so fast, you need to let it rest more,” Trini explained with a fond smile. It was true; it seemed to her sometimes as though both Kim and Billy had minds that never shut off. It made her wonder if either of them ever had a truly quiet moment to themselves.

“It can rest when ‘m dead,” Kim protested. Trini ignored the pang of discomfort the words created. “Sleep is overrated. There are nightmares there.”

“I saw. How long have those been happening?”

Kim tried to fake sleep complete with fake snores and a spot of drool.

“Princesa…”

“Any night I’m not with you,” Kim grumbled unhappily into the front of Trini’s shirt, too tired to filter her words. “I’m not sure why I had one just now.” Her voice was full of shame. Trini didn’t want her to feel that way, at least around her. “Please, I’m so tired.”

“Hey, it’s ok, it’s just me. It’s probably cuz of the headache. Why didn’t you tell me you were having such a bad time?”

“You’ve got your own nightmares,” Kim said plainly, dismissing it. “And bigger things to deal with,” she vaguely referred to that afternoon. “My stupid fire issues or whatever are nothing. Pointless.”

“We help each other.”

“Nah, it’s not a big deal,” Kim grunted. “Not like yours are. Not worth getting worked up about. I only need about 4 hours of sleep a night anyway.”

“That is a fucking lie, you sloth of a sleeper. I’ve shared a bed with you enough to know you’d sleep 12 hours or more if we’d let you. No, I bet you could sleep all night and day.”

“Oh, that sounds fantastic,” Kim agreed dreamily. “Sign me up for that as long as there’s no nightmares.” 

Trini frowned and brushed some hair away from Kim’s face. “When was the last time you slept well?”

“Obama was president,” Kim mumbled. 

“I hear that. What can I do to help?”

Pressing impossibly closer to the smaller body for comfort, Kim sighed. “Mmmm, I dunno? Distract me maybe until I can fall asleep?”

“How?”

“Uhhh...oh! Tell me about your little brothers? You light up when you mention them but I don’t know much about them. Do you mind?” 

Trini’s heart melted; of all the things she’d expected Kim to ask, that wasn’t on her radar. As upset as her mother was making her, she loved her family and adored her little brothers. She was deeply touched that the older girl was interested in anything to do with her family but especially her brothers. Kim didn’t need to ask about them; Mateo and Diego were so much younger than Trini that their lives didn’t intersect often unless it was at home. And with how their mother felt about Trini’s sexuality and female friends, chances were that she wouldn’t be too happy with Kim coming over often. Not that Trini thought she’d be welcome in the Gomez house for much longer anyway. Who knew what her mother would do next. 

Still, she wasn’t going to pass up sharing her favorite family members with her favorite non-family person.

“They’re about to turn eight. Mateo is the quiet one and Diego, we call him Yeyo although he’s getting to the age where he hates it, is the wild one. Or as wild as a 7-year-old with ADHD gets. He can get pretty bad but that’s when he’s really frustrated about something and has trouble expressing it. It doesn’t help that Matty doesn’t have ADHD and excels at school where Yeyo struggles.”

“Which one has the red in his hair?” Kim asked sleepily. 

“Yeyo, when the sun hits it,” Trini laughed softly. Kim hummed against her. “There’s some Irish on my Dad’s side and it popped up in Yeyo’s hair and my eyes.”

“Your eyes are beautiful,” Kim murmured. “I thought they were contacts at first. The way they change color…”

A blush rose to Trini’s cheeks that she was glad Kim couldn’t see. “Nope, all-natural. The boys were almost identical when they were little but as they’ve gotten older, they’ve started to look more and more different. Matty likes quieter things like science and art while Yeyo likes sports and music. They fight like crazy but they’re good kids.”

“Aww, they’re adorable. I saw them when your Dad picked you up one day,” Kim told her. “I saw Yeyo’s red hair that day and wondered.”

“Yeah, he loves the rojo in his hair,” Trini smiled fondly. “They play soccer…”

“I love soccer, or as the rest of the civilized world calls it, football,” Kim cheeked weakly. 

“Sick but still mouthy, typical Hart,” Trini accused playfully. “You should see them, they’re a hell of a team. Together they’re pretty hard to beat when they go for a goal. They have that twin thing where they don’t have to like, speak, to know what the other wants so they just run-up to the goal, passing the ball back and forth but there’s nothing for the other team to watch for to know what they’re gonna do, you know? No hand signals and whatever. They just move together and then shoot at the goal. They’ve got a high success for attempt record.”

“We’ll have to go watch a game sometime.”

“You’d want to do that?” Trini asked, surprised and touched. 

“Of course. They’re your little brothers and you’re my best friend,” the older girl said as if that explained everything. In a way, it did but it was still surprising to Trini that Kim felt that way. 

No one may have ever been the kind of friend to Kim that they should have been but apparently that hasn't stopped Kim from learning how a true friend was supposed to act. Or she came by it naturally, which was where Trini was leaning. Granted, she’d done some horrible things to Amanda but Trini believed Kim was truly remorseful for her actions and wouldn’t repeat something like it. Especially not to her.

_ Maybe she’s being the kind of friend she wants. _

“What else?” Kim prompted, her voice growing softer. She was happily snuggled in close and comfortably warm, not hot. “Your voice is soothing and it’s making me feel better, thanks. What else about them? What do they like?”

“Uhm… well, the Power Rangers, of course. Remember? Yeyo likes me, Yellow, cuz he loves big cats and thinks she’s sneaky and Mateo likes that you can fly but the whole ‘pink is a girl’s color bullshit’ my Mom stands by…” 

“Boo gender roles,” Kim offered. Trini ruffled her hair gently.

“Yeah. Instead, Matty wants your Zord in blue…”

“His second favorite color cuz there is no good green Ranger,” Kim recalled fondly.

“Exactly. You know what I’ve noticed about them, though? That pink thing, they only won’t wear pink cuz they know some little jerk at school will tease them or they’ll get that ‘disappointed’ look from Mama. I mean, they’re 7- it’s not a big deal to them. At home, both of ‘em play with my old Barbies just as much as their toy trucks. Mom gets antsy about it but lets it go, for now, I guess.”

“They are only 7.”

“Right.”

“You had Barbies?”

Trini rolled her eyes and smiled; of course, Kim could pick up on that. “Most are bald now, but yeah. Hush.”

“I had them too. And the car and the dream house.”

“Always gotta one-up me, huh?” the Latina teased. “My brothers don’t care about all that junk though. They just wanna play. I went to pick them up at a playdate once because my Mom got held up at work and it was a good thing I did. When I got there, Matty was dressed as Elsa and as cute as he was, Mom would have fucking flipped.”

“Elsa?”

“Yeah, complete with a wig! I took a pic on my phone, I’ll show you later. The parents who were watching them said that the kids all fought over who would be Elsa and then they all dressed as Disney princesses and did their nails. Yeyo was Rapunzel. I had to take the polish off them before Mom got home and it made them sad.”

“Awww,” Kim exhaled. Her breathing was starting to slow and deepen as sleep crept up on her again. “I have polish; we should do them again sometime…”

“Why don’t you try to go back to sleep? We’ll stay just like this, OK?”

“I’m all sweaty…” her voice was almost gone.

“Don’t care.” Brushing damp hair away from Kim’s forehead, Trini placed a light kiss there and then wondered if she imagined the tiny smile that flashed across Kim’s lips in response. “Sleep. I’ll be right here if you need me.”

“I will,” Kim sighed sleepily. Trini felt like she lit up inside at the admission. 

“Then I’ll be here.”

After they both woke up sometime later, Trini headed downstairs to make something for dinner while Kim, feeling much better, hopped into the shower. The brunette had no problem with Trini spending the night or two and left a message for her parents to let them know she had the company and to call Mr. Gomez with any questions.

When she walked into the bathroom, she tripped over the pair of jeans Trini had stripped off when she changed before they napped. Kim bent over and picked them up. 

“Can’t even get mad, I do the same thing,” she muttered. A slip of paper fell from one of the back pockets. She put the jeans in the hamper and picked up the paper. Although she had no intention of reading Trini’s private things, the title of what was apparently a brochure and not paper caught her attention so she ended up reading it. The further she read on the more her stomach turned, the more fear gripped her heart and then her blood started to boil.

_ This is… this is one of those religious camps where they use conversion therapy to ‘cure’ gay kids! Oh my God, did her mother get this? This is why she’s been so upset! Holy shit! It’s a wonder she hasn’t taken off completely and I wouldn’t blame her if she did. Shit, I’d be so fucking gone… She came here upset and my lazy ass fell asleep on her. Nice job, Hart. _

“You shouldn’t go through people’s stuff,” Trini said gruffly from behind her. The myriad of emotions Kim had suddenly gone through drew her back upstairs.

Turning to face her, Kim was relieved to see that Trini was wary, not angry. “It fell from your pants pocket when I put them in the hamper,” she responded calmly. It was important to handle this right and not upset Trini. After all, the Latina had turned up at the Hart home to escape dealing with this situation at her own house. “The title caught my attention. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.” Trini shrugged and looked away. “Is she seriously considering this?”

“I dunno how serious she was but Dad said no, thankfully,” the smaller teen told her, trying to sound unaffected and failing.

Wordlessly, Kim walked over and engulfed her best friend in a tight hug which Trini didn’t fight but didn’t return either. 

“He did?”

“Yeah. He promised.”

Remembering that Trini had mentioned that her father had something like a ‘your word is your bond’ sort of mentality, Kim felt a bit better. It was likely that he meant it and Trini wouldn’t be surprised after coming home from school to find a priest with a van waiting for her or in danger of getting scooped up by some people with a van while walking home one day. 

Still, she wasn’t going to let it happen either. “If it somehow happens, I’ll spring you,” she said fiercely. “Wherever she puts you, I’ll find you. I’ll go get the guys and you won’t even have to spend the night. We’ll get you and take you home. Bring you here.”

The promise made Trini’s muscles go loose and warm as the stress and tension finally leached away. “Yeah?” she asked for reassurance. It came out both relieved and exhausted, like she’d been on the run in some way since she found the pamphlet. Her arms came up and wrapped around Kim tightly.

“I promise you on everything I hold Holy,” Kim vowed seriously. “I’ll buy the fucking camp and close it if I have to. Spend every penny of my parent’s money to get you free. I’ll hide you if I have to. Then I’m gonna fucking murder your mother.”

“Tempting, but it’d hurt my little brothers,” Trini sighed, pressing her nose into Kim’s shirt. A small smile pulled at her lips at the disgruntled growl that vibrated through Kim’s chest. She never wanted any harm to come to her mother despite their issues and knew Kim wasn’t serious. It was the sound Kim made at being denied violent retribution; it was downright cartoonish.

“Damn it,” the brunette complained. “Fair enough. I’d fund the divorce if your Dad wanted it,” she offered instead. In her mind, Kim hoped her attempts at humor were working to ease some of what had to be an unbearable amount of pain that Trini was experiencing.

“Noted.” As angry and hurt as she was, Trini didn’t want that either. Her parents were happy most of the time, she was what made them argue. That weighed heavily on her young heart; she didn’t want to be what ruined her parent’s marriage.

“Do you really feel like cooking or would you rather order in?” Kim asked. “Anything you want.” She felt Trini tense up in her arms. “Hey, just relax. You’re having a rough time of it, let me take care of you.”

“Kim…”

“Trini, please,” Kim asked gently. “There’s… there’s not much I can do to help what’s going on with your Mom. I can’t like, throw money at her and fix it like my parents have taught me to do with problems. It doesn’t work that way. But I can feed you, keep you warm, keep you company, and hopefully make you smile once in a while. It makes me feel useful like I’m helping you in some way even if it’s just putting money on a credit card so that a ton of junk food arrives at the door. It’s all I got so please let me?”

Understanding, Trini nodded. “Yeah, ok. But you help me out a lot more than just with food. You know that, right?”

Kim gave her a lopsided smile. “If you say so. Look through the menus and order what you want from Uber Eats or wherever. You know what I like so just get me a few things while I grab my shower. I haven’t changed the passwords on the laptop so you should be able to use it.”

“Kim,” Trini reached out and grabbed her friend’s hand as Kim went to move away.

“Yeah?”

“You’re useful to me, like, all the time,” Trini told her seriously. “It’s why I came here today, why I come to you when I’m upset. You always make me feel better.” A light blush dusted Kim’s cheeks. Trini found it beautiful.

“Oh,” Kim said shyly, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear, “I’m glad.”

“Yeah, me too. Now, go take your shower. You smell.” Her jeans smacked Trini in the face as Kim’s laughter filled the bathroom.

  
  



	16. Costumes, Compromises, and Keys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TAGS: Discussions of racism, light swearing, dumb jokes & teasing. TRIGGERING (homophobia, discussions of conversion therapy)  
The Rangers are faced with doppelgangers and a strange truce.  
Kim goes on an interesting rant.  
Trini tries to work things out with her family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
Thanks, everyone for all the comments, kudos, and views. The week rest was just what I needed.
> 
> Enjoy!

In the middle of Trini’s crisis, Halloween arrived. Since it arrived during the week and they were still hosting a large number of 8th graders, the school went so far as to decorate the halls and encouraged the students to dress-up (within reason). They also held small Halloween-themed events throughout that day, like table the cheerleaders set-up at lunch where for $5 you could choose and paint a small pumpkin. The money raised went towards the Children’s Center at Angel Grove General Hospital.

It was an event Kim started two years earlier at tailgating festivities before games but that was neither here nor there. 

Most upperclassmen felt they were too old for costumes but Jason was all for it. It was his Senior year and he wanted to have fun and dress up, especially since he actually wore a costume in real-life. He wanted to enjoy what he felt was his one last chance to play as a kid and just look foolish. He couldn’t really trick-or-treat and that was fine with him. He and Billy had agreed to take Pearl out that night so she could go door-to-door with her friends before they dropped her off at a special sleepover at the Youth Center. Pearl, who thought Jason hung the moon most of the time and adored Billy as her new brother was super-excited and Zack was thinking about hanging out with them.

Plus, Billy (with secret help from Alpha) had built Pearl both a staff and a super awesome (and completely safe) lightsaber to go with her Rey costume. They bought plastic ones at the store and built replicas for her. The lightsaber still had a telescoping plastic blade on it only of better quality, as were the lights and sounds. With the laser cutter and the other tech available on the Ship, the result was as good if not better than what something LucasFilm or Disney would produce at their attractions. Pearl was proud of it and had convinced Billy to dress as Finn when he and Jason took her out trick or treating. She’d wanted her brother to go as a random StormTrooper that Finn could beat up or even Darth Vader but he’d refused; he was dressing as a hero or not going. 

Besides, Jason had had his Han Solo outfit all set-up for over a week in advance. 

“Nice costume,” Kim remarked to him as she sat down across from him at lunch. His Han Solo was circa  _ Star Wars: A New Hope _ and he was rocking it. School rules meant there was no blaster at his side but he and Billy had managed to mock up a cardboard, duct tape, and paint replica that the school inspected and allowed so his holster wasn’t empty. Kim helped him find the pants, vest, boots, and shirt at various Goodwill’s and second-hand shops and he gathered a few other odds and ends together for the final touches himself. It was his ‘last costume’ so he went all out.

“Thanks,” he grinned proudly. “You too.” 

“What costume?” Trini snorted as she slid into a seat next to her. “She’s not wearing a costume.”

Jason started laughing. “Oh, my bad. In that case, the new unicorn onesie looks great on you, Kim. Really brings out the, uh, cuddly furriness in you.”

Kim gave a sitting bow. “Thank you, Jason. I appreciate that.” She absently elbowed Trini for her remark who absently elbowed her back. 

Jason watched the interaction with a fond smile. “And what are you?” he asked the Yellow Ranger who was clad in her usual attire.

“I’m a unicorn wrangler,” she deadpanned. 

Kim bumped her again. “She had a costume when we left this morning but when we got here, she chickened out.”

“I did not!” Trini protested. “It’s just like, 12 other people had the same costume so I ditched it. I’m not some unoriginal bitch, ok?”

“What was it?” Jason asked, interested. 

“A dragon onesie,” Kim giggled. “And no one had the exact same one, either. But there were some other kids dressed as Dany’s dragons from Game of Thrones and she got all pissy.”

“I did not,” Trini grumbled as she sunk down in her seat. “But people were looking.”

“Cuz you looked adorable,” Kim told her patiently. “The other dragons looked all scary, you looked cute and cuddly.”

“Grrr,” Trini complained. “I’m not cute and cuddly.” She scowled and crossed her arms over her chest when her best friend and leader burst out laughing. “I hate you both.”

“Nah, you love us all,” Zack argued as he arrived with Billy a few steps behind.

“Heath Ledger’s Joker?” Kim asked him. “I mean, it actually works as a look for you but really? Now?”

“Hey, I’m a hero in real life; it’s my only chance to play the villain,” he said in a fantastic imitation of the late, great actor in the role. “Mama even helped with the makeup.” Mrs. Taylor had done a wonderful job. 

“You look great but it would have been cooler if you stuck to the Star Wars theme with Jason, Pearl, and I,” Billy repeated what he’d been hung up on for a few days. At this point, it no longer really bothered him; he enjoyed the reaction it got out of Zack though.

Billy had trouble making friends growing up but that didn’t mean he didn’t have any; he did. He had good friends and even some he considered close. But not like these four and a lot of that came down to their empathic link. Billy wasn’t sure if it was ‘normal’ or just him but he often found himself wondering with his other friends whether they spent time with him and were his friend because they wanted to be or because they were made to, by parents or teachers. It was a constant source of anxiety and self-doubt.

Thanks to the Ranger link, there was no such doubt. Billy could feel his friend’s happiness when they saw them, even if it was just passing him in the hall with a wave. He recognized and understood the positive emotions Jason, Zack, Trini, and Kim all felt when his name appeared on their phone because he was calling/texting or when he arrived for training or to hang out. The moments when he felt flashes of irritation and annoyance stung but Billy also knew he felt those towards his friends as well and never once had he ever felt something he could identify as ‘dislike’ or ‘hatred’ from them.

His new abilities to ‘read’ and understand his friends' emotions were making him more at ease and so he was getting braver when it came to learning how to tease them and right now, his favorite ‘target’ was Zack.

Jason, who had caught on to Billy’s enjoyment of seeing how long it took Zack to realize Billy was teasing him, joined in. 

“Yeah, man, you woulda looked good as Poe Dameron.”

This launched Zack into his, by now, well-known tirade about the hideous underrepresentation of Asians in the Star Wars universe.

“I mean, where did we all go?” he ranted. 

“Uggg,” Trini groaned and banged her head on the table.

“And the Trade Federation in  _ Phantom Menace _ , man. ‘Now der are twho ov dem’,” Zack quoted Viceroy Nute Gunray using the same stereotypical accent the character used in  _ Star Wars: The Phantom Menace _ . “What the fuck was that?”

“Look, dude, I had to wait until  _ Rogue One _ ,” Trini sighed. 

“Don’t get me started on  _ Rogue One _ !” Zack threatened. “Of course the old wise Asian man is blind. Why not?”

“Most people in India don’t give a rat’s ass about  _ Star Wars _ ,” Kim interjected. “And vice versa. All non-whites on the struggle bus, er, Falcon.” She looked at Trini. “X-Wing?”

“You didn’t grow up in India and have a box of Princess Leia and other action figures in your closet so…”

“Oh my God, stop snooping,” Kim laughed and flicked at Trini’s ear. The younger girl batted her hand away.

“I was looking for the pink and white sneakers you wanted to wear today! Blame yourself!”

Kim looked down at her sneakers which matched her unicorn onesie. “Worth it.”

“This box had everything in it, you guys,” Trini leaned in like she was telling some deep dark secret. “Star Wars, Ninja Turtles, He-Man… I think I saw some of those, what were they… uhm, Thundercats? In there… even Transformers.”

“I have a lot of cousins you nosey little shit,” Kim laughed. 

“Has anyone kept count of how many Power Rangers they’ve seen today?” Billy asked once Zack quieted down and started to eat his cafeteria pizza and the girls were done teasing one another.

Trini pulled a piece of paper from her pocket. “I wrote down what I saw so far and if I like, knew who they were or what their backpack looked like so we didn’t get doubles or whatever.”

“Good thinking,” Billy said, taking her paper and adding it to his own. None of the others had kept track. “I’ve got a chart and everything worked out for tonight.”

“Great! Hey look, Amanda and company were smarter than we gave them credit for,” Kim pointed out, nodding her chin towards the door where her former friends had just entered.

Instead of dressing as the group had theorized and appearing as Rita, Goldar and some random skank (Harper) they’d shown up as Harley Quinn (Amanda), Poison Ivy (Harper), and Jared Leto’s Joker (Ty).

“Fitting that the tool dressed as the tool version of the Joker,” Zack scoffed. 

“Such an insult to Margot Robbie,” Trini added.

“Yeah and Heath’s Joker would rip out Leto’s gold teeth for being overly capitalist and commercial,” Kim scoffed. “Then he’d kill the insulting imitator in some ironically meaningful way while explaining why Jared could never be a true villain. And Nicholson’s Joker would be smoking a cigar and cackling insanely while he watched.”

“What about Mark Hamil’s?” Zack asked, enjoying Kim’s theory. He had no idea she was so knowledgeable about the Batman Joker actors.

“Who do you think set the whole thing up?” she winked. 

“I wonder if someone should tell Amanda and Harper that in a few comic series Harley and Ivy are a couple? A lesbian couple,” Billy wondered innocently.

“I’ll do it!” Kim and Trini offered simultaneously. Kim had even raised her hand.

“Seriously? That’s awesome!” Jason laughed. “They’d flip their shit.”

“Ewwwwww,” Kim suddenly moaned and covered her eyes. “I think I’m gonna be sick.”

“What? Why?” Trini asked in concern.

“My mind ‘went there’ before I could stop it,” she hiss-whispered at Trini. After about two seconds, the Latina’s features scrunched up in disgust. “See? Yours did too.”

“Ew, Kim! No! Ew, I didn’t need to think that,” Trini complained. “I’ll never get rid of that image now.”

“Me either!” 

“Jerk,” Trini pouted. “You put that image there and now I need brain bleach.”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to!” 

“But you did. Oh, God. You  _ should _ be sorry. You owe me cookies or something.”

“OK! Ok!” 

“Are you two handing out candy tonight?” Billy asked them. He had no idea what they were complaining about and personally didn’t care to know. It didn’t seem pleasant.

“Yeah, Kim, handing out full bars or what?” Zack echoed.

“Nah, my house is the last one on the dead-end and we’ve never turned on our light to give out candy before so no one bothers with us,” she explained. Trini wondered if the guys could hear the soft undertone of sadness and the even fainter feeling of being left out that came with Kim’s words. 

“You wanna join us?” Jason offered. “We’ve got this whole route planned with Pearl and a few of her friends. Then we’re taking her to the Youth Center for a special slumber party thing they’re doing. You’re welcome to hang out.”

“Yeah, you and Trini!” Billy added.

“Thanks but I’m happy to avoid all the little ones running around,” Kim brushed the offer off. “Let them enjoy it. I think I’ll watch something scary and then chase it with  _ Hocus Pocus  _ and  _ Practical Magic _ before calling it a night. Bonus is, I don’t have to change when I get home.” She bit into her sandwich and smiled.

“I’m meeting up with my little brothers to check out their costumes but I think I’m crashing after that,” Trini explained. “I’m behind in my math class and I need to catch up before this test next week. The whole ‘vacation from my folk’s place’ has thrown me off.”

“You holding up ok?” Jason checked in.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Trini nodded.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I mean, she’s ok as far as company goes,” Kim said airily. “I’ve had worse.”

“Oh shut up,” Trini told her with an eye-roll. 

“I’m good at math. Let me know if you need help,” Billy offered helpfully.

“Careful, I might need that,” Trini warned him. “I’m so freaking behind it’s ridiculous.”

“Well, I won’t do it for you but I can help with formulas. Not tonight though. I have plans.”

“I know, dude,” Trini said with a wry smile. “Thanks.”

Zack peered over Billy’s shoulder. “What’s the count so far?”

“Well, it looks like we have a few doubles,” Billy thought out loud as he went over his and Trini’s lists. “Ok. Right now it’s at Red- 4, Blue- 4, Black- 2, Yellow- 3, and Pink- 6.”

“That’s counting two of my sister’s friends this morning,” Jason told Kim. “They fought over who would be Pink until one decided that by wearing her tutu with it, it made her different enough that they could both go.”

“Aww, that’s so cute!” Kim gushed. “Take lots of pictures tonight.”

“You bet,” Billy assured her. “Thankfully, there’s been no Rita or Goldar costumes so far.”

“Small favors,” Trini sighed. If she never saw that green-clad bitch again it would still be too soon. “You’re falling behind there, Taylor.” 

The Black Ranger narrowed his eyes at her. “And Kim’s got double your points,” he reminded her. 

Trini gave a half-shrug. “Yeah? So? Dude, it’s Kim. Even if they don’t know it’s her, it’s still her.”

“What does that mean?” Kim asked, puzzled. 

“That’s a good point,” Zack conceded. 

“No, it’s not,” Kim protested, frowning. “I don’t get it.” 

“Kim, whether you realize it or not, most people like you,” Trini told her but she said it as if telling her that her cat had died, flat and solemn. “They, for some unknown reason, like you and want to be like you. That’s gonna carry over whether they  _ know _ ,” Trini wiggled her eyebrows and looked at Kim’s communicator watch, “or not.”

“That’s ridiculous,” the former cheerleader protested, feeling herself blush. 

“Nah, I totally got why people worshipped the old Kim,” Zack reminisced. “Even back then. Now? Shit, if they knew the real you, it’d be even worse. Face it, you’re magnetic, babe.” He followed it up with a wink that was met with a grimace.

“So’s my credit card. Doesn’t make it worth dressing as,” Kim said rather brattily. “I’m not some role model, especially who I used to be…” 

Trini felt an uncomfortable shift from Kim over the link and decided to change the subject before the brunette’s cheery mood disappeared. 

_ Can’t blame her for not liking the comparison to her old self,  _ Trini thought.  _ Trust Zack to insert foot all the way up to his ass.  _

She took off a ring and stuck it to Kim’s cheek, watching as it immediately fell to the table and rolled across the surface. Frowning, she picked it up and tried it again with Kim’s nose, caught it in the air when it dropped and then pressed it to her forehead. On the fourth try, Kim caught her hands.

“What are you doing?” she asked, confused and amused. 

“He said you were magnetic,” Trini said innocently. 

It was the sweet, cherubic expression on Trini’s face that did Kim in; somehow, the hardass with the neutral facial mask had adopted a wide doe-eyed, full pouty-lipped expression for her adventure in magnetism. While Kim wasn’t completely sure what Trini’s motivation for the little act was, she found it hilarious. 

“Not like that you dork!” Kim laughed loudly and shoved at her friend. Her pure delight and amusement sparked over the shared Ranger link making the four other Rangers smile as well. 

“What’s the matter, Gomez? Couldn’t afford a costume?” Harper’s voice cut in.

“Oh fuck off, Harper, I’m in too good a mood to put up with you right now,” Kim snorted and waved the girl off like she was nothing more than a nuisance, lower than a mosquito. 

Another spike of delight, Trini’s this time, leaped over the link. It came from Kim’s reaction to Harper and the absolutely gobsmacked expression on Harper’s face. Whatever the blonde cheerleader had been expecting as a reaction from her former friend, it wasn’t that.

“E-excuse me?” Harper began.

“I got to come to school in my pajamas!” Kim chirped happily. 

“Look, it’s Tuesday and Halloween. Can we skip this today? No, wait. This week?” Trini asked. 

“Yeah, in all seriousness?” Kim echoed. Behind Harper, Ty and Amanda approached looking less than happy that she had stopped to engage Kim. “I’d rather we skip this for a bit.”

“Harp, what’re you doing?” Amanda asked and while her tone was sweet, Kim recognized it as the ‘sweetly so pissed she was going to rip out some of your hair as punishment soon’ tone of voice and her scalp throbbed in painful memory.

“Just commenting on Gomez’s lack of costume,” Harper sneered. 

“She had one when she got here. It was probably too hot,” Amanda said with a quick look at Trini. “At least it had pants and her ass and vag wasn’t hanging out. Can we go sit down please?” 

“God, will you stop bitching?” Harper whined, throwing her hands up. “It’s all you’ve talked about since I got in the car this morning, how your vag is just hanging out…”

“Fucking hell, Harper,” Amanda groaned. 

Ty looked at the Rangers in their costumes. “Nice costumes,” he said and to their group surprise, he was sincere. “You love onesies,” he smiled at Kim. “And your makeup is sick, Taylor.”

“Yo, thanks,” Zack said back automatically if confused. He leaned over and stage-whispered to Jason. “Why isn’t he being an asshole?”

“Cuz I love Halloween and I’m not looking to start shit,” Ty shrugged. “Today at least.”

“Everyone has their moments, I guess,” Jason smirked. 

Ty nodded back. “I guess. You should be careful, Scott. I know Donahoe is out here somewhere dressed as Kylo Ren. He might be looking for you.”

“I think I can outrun the guy nicknamed ‘the snail’,” Jason laughed. “But thanks for the heads up.”

“What would he want with Jason… Oh! You mean in movie… of course,” Billy muttered to himself.

Ty gave Billy a strange look but then looked back at Jason. “Hey, you taking your sister out tonight?” Jason nodded. “OK, like, I know we’re not friends but I’m not a total asshole either. Despite what you might think…” he added when both Trini and Zack opened their mouths. 

“If you’re taking your little sister and her friends out or something, be careful and avoid the Cedar Circle Line and along the Warehouse District,” Ty warned him.

“Why?” 

“It’s where my idiot little brother and his punk ass friends will be out doing the stupid shit we used to do…”

“ _ You _ used to do,” Jason corrected him. “I didn’t go out with you.”

“Fine, whatever. But Preston and his buddies are gonna be out. They’ve got urine-filled balloons…”

“Ew,” Trini, Kim, and Billy all said with varying facial expressions of disgust. Zack was a second slower.

“Paper bags full of shit, rotten eggs, toilet paper, hot sauce bombs, the works, you name it and they are gonna be out looking for little kids to terrorize.”

“That’s terrible,” Billy shook his head in disgust.

“You’re a pretty shitty person, Ty,” Trini told him.

“I only did it once and I hated it,” Ty admitted. “I love Halloween and the fun of it, not that garbage. I hate the kids that do that kinda shit, it ruins it for everyone else cuz they start talking about curfews and age limits. I don’t want that stunted twerp ruining Pearl’s Halloween. I may not like you guys but Pearl never did nothing to me but be nice so, yeah.”

Jason’s attitude softened. “Hey, man, thanks. You didn’t have to warn me. I appreciate it.” They bumped fists.

“Yeah, no problem. For Pearl, though.” He glared at Kim and Trini. “Cuz I fucking hate you.”

“Same,” Kim nodded. “But thanks, really. For manning up for Pearl. Means a lot.” She nodded at Amanda who nodded back before she looked away and pretended to be bored. When Harper looked ready to speak, Amanda pinched her. 

It was like a truce was called despite Harper’s entrance, a truce in the name of Pearl Scott. All parties walked away without another word. Or, in the Ranger’s cases, sat back down.

“I usually wait for Christmas for miracles but, hey, whatever,” Zack shrugged. 

“That was actually very considerate of him,” Billy remarked as he took out the map he and Pearl created for their optimal trick-or-treating route. “Thankfully, we don’t go too close to the Cedar Circle Line and we don’t go anywhere near the Warehouse District.” He added a few more notes with his colored pencils.

“You know what’s great?” Kim asked. “Ty hates that smug little shit, Preston. Hates him. Loves to get him into trouble or ruin the things he’s doing just to screw with him. I’ll bet you any amount of money he’ll be out terrorizing Preston tonight,” she smiled smugly, “to keep him away from the little kids. And I may hate Ty with a fiery passion of my own but the thought of that makes me happy. Preston’s face, all red and sweaty as he screams for Mommy and Daddy to make Ty leave him alone? Classic comedy.”

“Sounds like a messed up family,” Trini remarked.

“Whose isn’t?” Kim snorted with a side look at the smaller girl.

_ Point _ , Trini admitted silently.

The eighth-graders began arriving for their lunch and Billy started writing down the Power Ranger costumes he could see. 

“Hey, look at the Yellow Ranger with the box braids!” Kim grabbed Trini’s shoulder and pointed towards a girl entering the cafeteria. She was rocking the entire look and high-fived a girl in a Pink Ranger outfit with a pink streak in her hair.

“Oh, that’s awesome!” Trini bounced in her seat for a moment. “I love her hair! Oh! Look at that one’s pink streak!”

“Sweet!”

“Yellow- 4, Pink- 7,” Billy made hash marks next to the colors. Trini stuck her tongue out at Zack. 

“HA!” Zack said so loudly he made Trini jump. “TWO more Black Rangers.”

“Keep it down, loser,” Trini hissed at him. 

Kim reached over and smacked him on the arm. “Can you be a little more obvious, please? Jesus.”

Zack blushed and sat back down. “Ooops, sorry. Got carried away.”

“Tone it down, man, company,” Jason told him as their usual group of eighth-graders joined them at the table. 

They exchanged greetings and comments about costumes. Counting them, the final Power Ranger costume tally so far came to Red- 6, Blue- 7, Black- 4, Yellow- 5, and Pink- 9 for a total of 31 students dressed like them. It was a bizarre and surreal experience for each of them to see themselves reflected in other people as well as the different ways their suits were interpreted and changed to better represent the costume wearer.

“Seriously, never imagined someone dressing up like me and standing next to someone else dressed as Iron Man,” Jason said in awe. He made sure to speak lowly so only his friends could hear him.

“Kim, is it ok if I paint a pumpkin?” Billy asked shyly. “I wanted to get one for my Mom.”

Confused, it took Kim a moment to answer. “Wha…? Sure, Billy, of course, it is. Just because the cheerleaders and I don’t get along doesn’t mean you can’t support the things they do. Go ahead. Have fun.” 

He grinned at her. “Thank you! I’m going to paint it like Jack Skellington!” With that, he got up and took his things to the painting table. 

“That goes for you guys too…” she barely finished speaking before Zack and Jason left to join Billy. She shook her head with a chuckle and turned to Trini. “And you?”

“Hmmm…” the Latina pretended to ponder. “I have better paints of my own and my Mom would get pissed I spent the cash on something that will rot in 3 weeks. You’re stuck with me. Nice try.”

“There are worse things,” Kim sighed. “So… what scary movie do you wanna watch tonight?”

“Anything but  _ The Notebook. _ ”

“ _ The Notebook?  _ Trini, that’s not a horror movie. I mean, it’s not a good movie, either, but it’s not a horror movie.”

“You have your definition of horror, I have mine.”

\--

The day after Halloween, Trini’s father messaged her to ask her to come home. When she called him back he explained everything he’d done to prepare himself to speak to June. He wanted to be well-educated on what he was talking about before he approached her and went about it much like he did his own work, by building a strong foundation of information first. It was one of the reasons why he’d had to ask her to stay away a little longer than they’d both originally hoped. It was important to Miguel that Trini not be forced to return unless she was completely willing and felt at least a minimal amount of safety.

To start, he’d made some phone calls and sent some emails that helped him compile some research about conversion therapy, its history and exactly what went on behind the scenes. To say he was horrified was an understatement. He’d had some cursory knowledge from watching the news and trying to be knowledgeable about his daughter’s world but it was way beyond what he had seen. Then, in order to nail down how to identify the kind of religious centers that hid the truth of what they did so both he and June would be better apt to spot them in the future, he actively sought those places out online so that once this tumultuous part of their lives passed, they could blacklist the sites from their browsers.

It wasn’t until a few days went by and Miguel felt that he sufficiently understood the horrors, that he sat June down and explained them to her.

“Bet that was a short convo,” Trini said sarcastically with a roll of her eyes.

“Hush, niña,” Miguel scolded her. 

“Sorry.”

At first, June hadn’t bought most of what he said, not wanting to believe that places claiming to be doing the work of God and saving souls would do such awful things. He explained that he needed her to be open and listen because Trini was so upset he wasn’t sure he could get her to come home otherwise. It was that admission that got through to June how frightened her daughter was and she didn’t understand why. That was unacceptable to her. 

The fact that he added that Trini was staying at Kim’s in the meantime didn’t hurt.

One phrase struck her, however, and made her the most open to listening.

“I’m not trying to change your mind about homosexuality; this is about not hurting Trini again. It’s about understanding why she’s scared to come home, that’s all.”

June agreed to listen and over the course of two tense and mostly silent evenings, she sat through selected portions of media that Miguel had cultivated to gain a better understanding of what was upsetting Trini. This included Season 2 of  _ American Horror Story,  _ portions of  _ But I’m A Cheerleader _ , numerous clips from well-done documentaries, some interviews from individuals who had experienced different forms of conversion therapy (all of whom were still gay), and other meaningful and well-vetted sources that didn’t take overt cheap-shots at religion. Comments like those were guaranteed to make June less likely to listen.

Throughout, the quiet was only broken when June asked interested and at times, tearful questions that Miguel did his best to answer. Sometimes, they had to pause the video so they both could take a break, take a breather and calm down. Occasionally, they paused to look up current information or to verify things they were suspicious of. To her credit, June watched it all. She only needed to run to the bathroom once during a particularly harrowing scene in  _ AHS _ . 

Miguel didn’t blame her.

“That was the 1960s,” June pointed out. The contempt she had for what she had seen was visceral. “Those animals.” She didn’t agree with homosexuality and saw it as a sin but there were rules, both God’s and man’s, in how you treated fellow human beings, even the ones you disagreed with and the things she saw made her blood boil. They’d looked up the accuracy of the show so she knew there was a lot of truth to it. “I hope people like that burn for their transgressions.”

Miguel pulled her into his side after she sat back down on the couch. For a long pleasant moment, they took comfort in one another.

“Me too, honey. And true, it was a long time ago but some places still use similar techniques,” he said sadly. His sadness was barely a cover for his own simmering anger. He had had no idea that these people were really still out there, preying on people like his sweet, innocent daughter; his Trini. 

He’d die before they even came close.

“She really didn’t know, mija,” he explained. “She really thought they would just talk to you, make you go to Mass and Confession daily, explain how and why being gay is a sin in God’s eyes according to them, make you pray, recite scripture, and I don’t know what else. But not anything sinister. Nothing like what you fear.”

“Uh, if that’s what she thought it was, wouldn’t a convent make more sense?” Trini wondered. 

“I think subconsciously she doesn’t want to send you to live in a secluded building full of women,” Miguel snorted with laughter. 

“DAD!” Trini felt herself flush red at her father’s comment. It was funny but unexpected coming from him.

“I couldn’t let that one go by, it was too easy,” he chuckled. “So, what do you think? Will you come home?”

“I dunno. You think she’s telling the truth?”

“Yes, sweetheart, I do. You know I won’t lie to you about something like this or put you in danger.”

Trini thought about it. “I want a lock on my door.”

“No. I’m sorry, sweetie, that’s too far.”

“I don’t know if I can trust her enough to sleep, Dad,” Trini protested. She’d already been attacked in her sleep once. “How about you can have a key but she can’t? How about that?”

“No. I’m not going to let you have a lock on your door.”

“Come on, meet me halfway here,” Trini begged. “How about you have a key but Mom can’t have it and when someone’s over I can’t lock it? And… uhm… I have 5, no 10 minutes from the first knock and a warning until you unlock the door.”

“I’m not waiting 10 minutes to go in if you’re not answering me…”

“No, I meant if I answered and won’t let you in. Let me have 10 minutes to get dressed. If I don’t answer you within like, a minute, bust that shit down.”

“Trini…”

“Whoop, sorry. But yeah.” The phone line was silent. “Just for a little while? Maybe after a few days I won’t need it but Dad, I had a nightmare she drugged me in my sleep so they could come to get me. Please.” She heard him sigh heavily on the other end. “I know she loves me, I do. And maybe once we talk this out I won’t even need it but…’

“I’ll talk to your Mother but I say no,” he said with finality. 

Trini’s heart sank. “Fiiine.” _ I’ll barricade it, I guess. _ But she knew she had to go home, as much as she didn’t want to. “I’ll come home after school and talk to her if it’s cool?”

“Of course it is, it’s your house, sweetie. I’ll let her know. Thank you for making this effort. You’re being very mature and I’m very proud of how you’re handling yourself. ”

Trini blushed and ducked down where she was sitting even though her father was nowhere around. “Yeah, well, if she’s gonna meet me halfway, then I’ll try. I got manners.”

-

Shortly after she hung up, she filled Kim on her plans. Despite the older girl’s valiant efforts, disappointment still showed on her face no matter how hard she tried not to show it. 

Trini didn’t want to leave; there was no way to overlook the slight uptick to Kim’s attitude since she’d started staying over. Or that they were both getting more sleep. They’d gotten the room beside Kim’s cleared out so that Trini had her own space and bed to use when she wanted. She hadn’t yet but it was there if she did and if her parents came around to check things out.

There was also the fact that Trini didn’t want to leave Kim alone. There’s wasn’t any one thing Kim had said or done that was making Trini suspicious and if anything, since she was spending more time with the older girl, the morbid side comments and self-deprecation seemed to diminish in frequency. And she hadn’t had a chance to check for any more or fresher self-harm scars on her friend’s skin either, not that she was taking any extra time to look. It would seem creepy if she got caught not to mention there was no telling how angry Kim might get if that happened. 

Trini would simply have to wait and be vigilant. 

Still, she had to go home at some point and it was better she tried now than put it off until it was harder to leave Kim’s house. Plus, she didn’t want to take advantage of the Hart’s hospitality. 

“So we’re gonna just, like, talk it out and stuff first,” she finished explaining. 

“Ok, cool,” Kim lied although she sounded convincing. Guilt made Trini’s chest tight. “Your laundry should be finished by then. I wonder if your Dad used any of my suggestions,” she added absently.

“What?” Trini responded, surprised.

Kim smiled slightly. “Your Dad. He called me to ask if I knew anything about conversion therapy.”

“My Dad called you?”

“Uh, he’s been texting me off and on,” Kim explained. “Just to check and see how you are and not all the time. Maybe once every 6-8 hours so chill, Tiger,” she added quickly when Trini’s complexion started to darken with anger.

“Ok. But I’m the gay one; why didn’t he call me?”

“I think he felt you were too close to the situation,” Kim told her evenly. “So I gave him the name of some movies and tv shows that I thought might help,”

“Oh. Still weird that he texted you…”  _ What does he know… _

Kim tilted her head. “My parents are doctors?” she reminded Trini in a prodding way. She didn’t want to let Trini’s imagination getaway with her as to why her father would pick Kim to call and suddenly think they were plotting behind her back. It was as simple as Kim’s parent’s chosen professions. 

“Oh! Right,” Trini bopped herself in the forehead. “Completely blanked. Duh.”

“I didn’t really wanna bother them since it’s not either of their areas but it is for a few of their friends. I emailed a friend of my Mom’s who represented a bunch of clients in a suit against a religious center that did conversion therapy a few years ago. Talk about luck, right? He does all sorts of malpractice and medical fraud stuff, that sort of thing.” 

Kim smiled at the memory of the man whom she’d met a few times. “Wesley Warner. Nice Guy. I’ve been to his office. He’s got this huge poster of Superman on the wall and he just wants to help people. So, he repped those people and got them a really nice settlement. I didn’t say too much about what’s going on with you but I asked Wes if he’d mind giving your Dad some info or point him in a direction and he was more than happy to help.”

“That’s really cool, Kim. Thanks,” Trini said sincerely. 

“I got your back, T,” Kim smiled brightly. “I told your Dad about some TV and movies to look at too since all I do is binge watch things.”

“And nap and eat.”

“And that,” Kim agreed. “Ug, and do your laundry. Seriously, how do you go through so many clothes a day but everyone thinks I’m the Princess? I mean, you don’t even get dirty!”

“This from the one who lounges in pajamas from the moment her ass hits the door when she gets home,” Trini shot back playfully, beyond happy that despite the sad news that she had to leave Kim was still joking with her. That hopefully meant Kim’s better mood was going to stick around.

“I like to be comfy.”

“I like to be clean and you don’t have to do laundry like three times in five days. You can let the hamper build up a little.”

“Oh God, you don’t know my Mom,” Kim snorted ruefully. “If she pops in and my hamper is more than half-full all I’ll hear is how lazy I am and she’ll start thinking I’m repeating outfits even though I’ve got enough clothes to wear something different, every day for like, two months straight and only need to wash underwear. I just don’t feel that wearing something once makes it dirty unless you actually  _ get _ it dirty, you know? So doing laundry is an ingrained habit once the hamper reaches a certain point.” 

“Ah, that makes sense, actually.”

“Especially the bathroom one. God, don’t reuse a towel when she’s around. Fucking apocalyptic.”

“Ew.”

“Ok, look. You use a shower to dry off, right? After a shower where you what? Just washed yourself. With soap, shampoo and you scrubbed and cleaned all your various crevices and whatnot, right? The whole point is to get squeaky clean and as sterile or whatever as possible. Then use clean water to rinse the soap and dirt off of you until the clean water runs clear and clean off of you. Thus you are clean. Right?”

“Uh, yeah?” Trini was a little confused by Kim’s sudden intensity. 

“Ok, so you step out of the shower. You are clean, as clean as you can arguably get without a dip in Purell or a bleach, yeah?” She waited for Trini’s tentative nod. “So you get out and reach for a clean towel to use so you can dry yourself of the clean water that is on your clean skin.”

“Ah,” Trini caught on.

“Right. So you’ve now used a clean towel to clean the clean water off your clean body,” Kim finished triumphantly. “And hair if you use the towel for both. Now, your Honor, I propose to you that you should, for the sake of the environment and time, be able to get at least two decent uses out of that towel before it requires a fresh wash- assuming, of course, that you don’t use it in between then for something else like a floor mat for another shower. Once it hits the floor and it’s been used once, a new towel is required.”

Trini arched an eyebrow. “You have put way too much thought into that.”

“I used to have a lot of time to myself,” Kim shrugged but a smile curved her full lips up.

“And now?”

A contented look came across Kim’s face. “Not so much these days. It’s a nice change.”

\--

With a promise to bring the remaining laundry with her the next morning when she picked the younger girl up for school, Kim dropped Trini off at the Gomez house. She also swore to return immediately if Trini needed her to but somehow felt it wouldn’t be necessary. How Kim felt that way Trini didn’t know and she didn’t share the same opinion but the brunette’s calm confidence that everything would be alright had done a lot to settle Trini’s own nervousness about facing her mother.

Upon opening the front door and seeing her mother sitting nervously on the living room couch, Trini’s breath caught and her heart started to pound. She found that her feet were frozen on the top step at the threshold of her front door, neither in the house nor outside. Like a doe in high-intensity discharge (HID) headlights, she was wide-eyed and frozen, muscle-locked in the face of an oncoming, speeding horror.

Not even seeing the train about to hit her door that night in the van scared her this badly. 

A strange noise reached her ears and it took a few seconds for her to realize that it was coming from her own throat; she was making a small hiccupping sound. 

Trini swallowed and took a deep breath, feeling a warm, all-encompassing wave of comfort and support wash over her from four separate and strong sources. Closing her eyes for a brief moment, Trini could see their auras splashing in front of her as if they’d been poured over her from buckets over her head, again warm like perfect bath water chasing away the chill of her terror.

Their colors were bright, supportive, and encouraging. Beneath their support, Trini could feel their concern but they were concentrating on lifting her up and she let herself bask in the silent, emotional reinforcement.

_ Thanks, guys _ , she thought and felt, hoping the feeling got across. When she opened her eyes, Trini was ready to face her mother.

Approaching June, Trini was relieved to see Miguel in the doorway to the kitchen. He gave her a small smile and nod, letting her know that he was there for support and if he was needed. 

She sat down on the armchair closest to where her mother sat and cleared her throat. “Uhm, hi Mama,” she tried when it didn’t look like her mother was going to speak.

Worrying her hands together in her lap, June greeted her. “Hi, sweetheart. How was school?” It was a normal question and June was grasping onto it. Her voice was shaking.

“Eh, the same,” Trini shrugged, giving her usual automatic answer. At the crestfallen look on June’s face, she tried again. “Kinda boring? I mean, we’re working on the same chapter in English and I already read it so that’s boring. I covered what we’re doing in History when we lived in Texas. Math is meh, Bio is ok. I mean, it’s school, you know?”

A brief glance towards her father got her a proud smile and another nod for her genuine attempt. Then again, it was the longest, most honest response she’d given them in over a year.

“I’m glad that it sounds like you’re not struggling.”

“I’m not,” Trini confirmed easily. “It’ll probably get harder as the year goes on though.”

“Probably,” June agreed. Quite a bit of the initial tension began to ease from the simple, ordinary conversation and how easy it had been to slip into it.

_ Maybe Kim had been right? _ Trini wondered. 

“How have you been?” June asked tentatively. “Have you been eating?”

Trini stared at the woman carefully for a woman, looking for an ulterior motive to the question, specifically regarding Kim but it looked like it was only about her eating habits.

“I’ve been good. I ate. I mean, yeah, we ordered in some but not every night. You gotta see Kim’s kitchen. So, I cooked a few times and she cooked a few. One night, Zack came over and made this killer fish dish. We had cupcakes the second afternoon too.”

To her surprise, her mother didn’t flinch at her mentions of Kim. 

“What did Kim’s parents think of you being over?” This time the question had a tinge of an edge.

Before Trini could answer, Miguel’s voice came from nearby.

“I spoke to them both and they said she’s a delight that they are happy to have over,” he explained. He kept his tone neutral but there was something else in there that Trini couldn’t quite unpack.

He’d made it sound like the Hart’s were present when Trini was over and they weren’t. It was strange and chances were that he had talked to one or both of them (Trini hadn’t asked) and Miguel would know they weren’t home. For the life of her, Trini couldn’t understand why her father was making it sound like Drs. Mr. and Mrs. Hart had personally tucked her in at night or something.

_ The only reason to make it sound that way is to hide it from Mom… but why? If you know Kim’s alone… I don’t get it…  _

Shooting a confused as hell look at her father, Trini shook her head and put a pin in that thought for later; she had to deal with the here and now.

“That’s wonderful,” and somehow, June sounded sincere. “You made a good impression, I hope.” The expectant and yet proud smile on her face made Trini shift in place.

_ Uh, haven’t met them… I’ll probably fuck it up though so there’s that…  _

“Uh, duh, I have manners,” Trini rolled her eyes. She sighed. “Mama, can we not keep doing this? Can we like, talk about why I left and get it over with? I don’t wanna wait too long in case I don’t stay.”

The smile slowly fell from June’s face. “Of course.”

“OK.”

There was a long awkward pause.

“Trini, I am so sorry.”

The teen looked down at her lap. “Yeah. OK, that’s great but… do you get it? Like, why I freaked out like that? Why I was so scared? Why I  _ am _ scared?”

“Yes, Trini, I…”

“And why I couldn’t stay here… I had to get away from  _ you _ ? I mean,  _ God _ ,” she rocked forward for a moment and then back, pulling her feet up onto the edge of the chair. Then, she wrapped her arms around her knees which made her look frighteningly fragile and small. “I’m terrified. Of  _ you _ .”

The strange irony of the situation wasn’t lost on Trini; the truth of the matter was that no one could really sneak up on her to abduct her. Nothing short of drugging her, which would likely clear her system faster than a normal human’s, would let anyone get the drop on her long enough for her to be overpowered by an ordinary human. There was no reason for superpowered Trini to be scared of being forced to conversion therapy. Those were just the facts.

However, those facts had nothing to do with why she felt the way she did nor did they help to allay her fears. Her mother, whom she was supposed to be able to rely on and trust to keep her safe from harm had been looking at sending her to places to specifically cause her harm just for being who she was.

Trini had to make sure June understood how horrible those places really were and how deeply scared she was before she could think about coming home.

June tentatively reached out to take Trini’s hand into her own but Trini kept her hands back, not ready yet. June let her own fall back into her lap and it didn’t escape Trini that there was a slight tremble to her mother’s usual steady hands.

“It  _ kills _ me to hear you say that,” June exhaled. “No parent should terrify their child like that. I am so, so sorry, Trinidad. I had no idea…”

Trini gave her an incredulous look. “How? There’s stuff about those places everywhere…”

“You and I don’t watch the same things, honey,” June pointed out. She moved a little closer to the edge of her chair and Trini. When she spoke, she did so slowly and sincerely. “Sweetheart, I had no idea places like … that existed, at least not outside episodes of television and in movies. They didn’t seem real.”

“They are,” Trini insisted. “Very real.”

“I know. I know that now,” June worked to reassure her “Your father, he sat down with me and together we watched some videos, some documentaries, and things so I could see and understand what was upsetting you.”

“Yeah? How’d that go?”

“It was… it was horrible. I can’t believe that some of that was ever done or that it’s still done. I see now how some of those art schools and religious retreats were hiding what they really were and the terrible things they do. I am so, so very sorry that I brought that darkness into this house and scared you. That you ever thought that I’d allow that to happen to you… never Trinidad. Never.” 

The entire time she was speaking she was staring down at their hands but now, she looked to the side at her daughter.

“I am so terribly sorry that I hurt you, my baby girl, who I love so, so much by not knowing any better,” she apologized, reached out again. This time, Trini let her mother take her hand. June brought it up to her face and softly kissed it. “I understand now.”

For a brief bright moment, Trini let herself believe that her mother meant her sexuality in general, that the whole situation had given June a brand new understanding. 

“What does this mean, though? I mean, you understand what exactly? How places hide behind religion to do conversion therapy or how being gay isn’t a choice and I am who I am?”

The sudden sour expression on her mother’s face quickly dashed any hopes Trini had for a better understanding of her sexuality.

“I won’t lie and say that I have made any peace with…,” her mother trailed off and swallowed hard. “Because I haven’t. I won’t.”

“Junie,” Miguel sighed, disappointed.

Feeling like a bucket of cold water had been thrown on her, Trini tried to pull her hand away but her mother held on for a moment. 

“Listen to me, please, Trini?” June’s voice was so plaintive that Trini stopped struggling. “Thank you.”

“Two minutes,” Trini warned her.

It took June a moment to gather her thoughts. “I was raised a certain way, I was raised in the light of the Church and your Father and I raised you in the same way. You know that God’s word is his word, that’s the way it is and you honor Him. You simply don’t go against His word. It says in Leviticus that that lifestyle choice is an abomination…” 

Trini rolled her eyes and freed her hand. “Lifestyle choice,” she snorted derisively. “It says not to wear mixed fabric too, but here you are in that shirt. You don’t get to pick and choose which parts you pay attention to.”

“That’s not what I’m doing here.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Tri…” 

“I’m done, Mama. I’m going back to Kim’s…”

“Wait…”

“No! I’m not gonna get tricked into having some sorta heart-to-heart with you where you apologize for scaring the holy bejeezus outta me, make me start to feel better and like maybe I can come home only to have you start to rail on me for being gay and failing God’s plan or something. I got better things to do!” Trini argued. 

“It terrifies me that you will be denied a place in His paradise if you keep denying Him and His plan for you!” June said in an outburst. 

“Let me worry about that!” Trini shot back. “It’s my life!”

“It’s my job as your mother to…”

“Oh my God, Mom, you were so close to working this out!” Trini exclaimed, astounded. “I was thisclose to believing you and coming home to stay. But you had to go and pull a 180 and drag God and Leviticus into it…” 

“Everyone, calm down,” Miguel suggested calmly, stepping further into the room.

“I’m only trying to help, to do what’s right for you. You’re too young to make such decisions…”

“I am so sick and tired of hearing that!”

“It’s the truth! I’m trying to help you!”

“I give up!” Trini threw her hands in the air and turned to her father. “There’s no talking to her! I’m done trying! Finished!”

“You haven’t even heard everything I’ve been trying to say,” June said, her eyes wet. Trini resented her for trying to play the victim.

“Trini, let her finish,” Miguel told her patiently.

“Why? So she can sit there and preach about how I’m going to Hell? I get enough of that on Sundays during Father Rossi’s sermons, thanks. I don’t need to hear it from her.”

“I’m sure that’s not what she’s going to say,” Miguel reassured her with a pointed look at his wife. “Just, hear her out, please?” 

Seeing that she had little choice but to listen to the rest of what her mother had to say and feeling trapped, Trini snapped. She made a sarcastic, wide sweeping arm gesture and gave a twisted smile. “By all means, please remind me why I never bother to talk to you while giving me even more reasons to not want to live here.”

“Trini, calm down and let her talk” Miguel scolded, hurt. 

“Tell her to get down from the cross first…”

“Enough,” her father warned her.

“What? I’m just saying, it’s probably crowded up there with Jesus…”

“Trini!”

“...sanctimonious… Fine.”

June winced at Trini’s comments. Any other day and she’d ground the teen for them. “I’ve been trying to say that while I think it’s clear that I don’t agree with what you say you think you are…”

“God, this is ridiculous. You can’t even say it,” Trini scoffed.

The muscle in June’s jaw twitched. “No, I can’t. But I’m saying that I hate the sin, not the sinner, sweetie. I love you. You’re my baby. I don’t hate you or want to see you hurt.”

Trini sighed and ran a hand through her hair. She hated that expression, it was such a cop-out. She glanced at her father who simply glanced back. “Lotsa help, thanks,” she sneered.

“But there’s no reason for you not to come home,” June explained. “You’re in no danger here.”

“Yeah, right. I mean, you can’t even say the word gay… and flinch when I do. How can you love me but hate what I am? That doesn’t make sense.”

“She’s trying, Trini,” Miguel offered softly. 

_ Yeah but, what’s that mean to me, really? At this point, I mean? She loves me but it’s clearly not unconditional like it should be if she’s on this ‘hate the sin’ shit.  _

“You’re more than your sin, baby,” June said lovingly. It made the acid on Trini’s stomach burn.

“I’m more than my sexuality which isn’t a sin,” she shot back. “You know, you’re all worried about my afterlife but I’m terrified about my here and now. Do you get that?”

“O-of course! I…”

“And here and now I’m terrified that you’re gonna start to hate the sinner too and send me to be fixed!”

“No! I’m trying to tell you I’d never do that. I’d never allow that to happen to you no matter how I feel about… that.”

Trini thought for a moment. “After you sat and watched all those videos, did you notice that most if not all of the people who went through conversion therapy torture turned out to still be gay?” She couldn’t help but needle. “It didn’t change or cure them because there’s nothing to change or fix or cure.” 

June made a disgusted face. “I have no control over what those people do. They have to find their own path back to God.”

“We are as God made us.”

June rolled her eyes. 

Trini scowled. “You hate when I roll my eyes at you; have the same respect for me,” she hissed.

“I’m sorry, you’re right. That was childish of me,” June apologized sincerely. 

“Mama, I want to come home,” Trini started slowly, honestly. “I know you’re ‘working’ on dealing with me being gay and everything… ok, first you need to stop flinching whenever someone says the damn word…”

“Trini,” her father sighed this warning.

Trini swallowed an annoyed groan. “And whatever ‘working on it’ means since you just said earlier you won’t be making peace with it,” the teen went on. 

“I’m not… it’s hard and goes against  _ everything _ , Trini,” June said sadly.

“I know, I know,” Trini nodded. She bit her lip. “Why? Why were you sending me away if it wasn’t for conversion therapy?”

“Yes, that might help, June,” Miguel agreed. “Explain your reasoning.”

“Of course. You have to understand, I didn’t know they weren’t just schools or religious retreats. I swear to God that I didn’t.” Wanting to be closer to her upset daughter, June stood up and moved closer. Her heart twisted when Trini appeared to consider moving back to getaway. She paused in place. “I didn’t understand. I-I thought you needed structure, something to get you out of your own head and away from these ideas. Get you away from here to meet new people and new ideas.”

“Ok,” Trini said slowly, “I can see that making sense.”

“I still think you need better structure but not like that, not what they’re offering. The way each place laid out their programs they hid what they did too well.”

“In the defense of some, we did look at some legitimate schools. Not everywhere your mother emailed for more information was a front for something else,” Miguel reminded them. “But I don’t like the idea of sending you away and I promised you would graduate with your friends here.”

Tired and with the thought that she had to pick her battles for the time being, Trini put the battle about her sexuality on the back burner and focused all-in on the conversion therapy/art school debacle that started all this.

“So, short version: despite not being ok with me being gay, you didn’t mean to scare the shi-nikes out of me by accidentally ordering brochures from places that do conversion therapy. It’s a true misunderstanding and I don’t have to be afraid of being drugged in my sleep or my food being drugged so I can be dragged off to Camp Gay-Be-Gone or something. Have I got that right?”

Miguel tried and failed to hide an amused smirk. “Yes. That sounds right, right June?”

June leveled her nervous child with a serious look. “Trinidad, you and I are having difficulties, I recognize that. They come from many things including the trust issues I have with you but they are mostly your own fault.”

Trini groaned. _ Of course they are. Everything's my fault. Well, shit, I see how Kim gets stuck in this mental loop sometimes.  _

Unseen, it was Miguel’s turn to roll his eyes. He wondered when his wife would stop inserting her foot into her mouth.

“But, I am at fault for some of our problems too,” June admitted slowly, reigniting Trini’s interest in what she was saying. “I… can be a bit…”

“Crazy?” Trini suggested helpfully.

“Intense,” Miguel tried diplomatically.

“Intense and direct. I have expectations and rules and you love to break them. I don’t understand why you have this need to test me and my temper so much…”

“Move along,” Miguel prodded. “Please.” 

June nodded. “But I have to admit that I haven’t always been the easiest to put up with.” Trini’s mouth opened in shock. “And I haven’t always kept my word when I’ve made agreements with you. I’m sorry. Despite that, I hope you will believe me when I swear to you on my life that I will never send you to one of those horrible places. Ever.”

Trini closed her mouth and nodded. Slowly, she let out a long breath that felt like she’d been holding for days. This time, when her mother moved closer she didn’t shy away.

June cupped Trini’s face in her hands. “I may not like you thinking you’re ‘that way’ but I will  _ never _ allow someone to hurt you in order to change you. I am not a monster and neither is God. Those people do not do the work of God, they pervert it.  _ They _ are the ones who will burn, Trinidad. Not you.”

“Mama…” Trini whimpered, relief flooding her system and making her knees weak.

The tearful expression on the teen’s face was reflected on her mother’s and she let the older woman pull her into an embrace despite the hurt she still felt.

“Your father told me about you wanting a lock on your door,” June said sadly into the hug. “Please know that I would never do such a thing, mija. I love you; I’d never trick you like that. As a compromise, we’re going to get you a plastic door jammer. Something I can’t get through but in an emergency your father probably can.”

“Seriously?” Trini sniffled. 

“If it will make you feel secure enough to come home then yes, we can make that compromise.”

“It’s going to take some time for all of us to calm down but, we want you to come home, Trini, so we can try and fix this.”

_ Later…  _

“TRINI! You’re home!” Diego shouted happily as he and his brother barrelled through the front door. 

“¡Estas en casa!” Matty echoed, so joyful he slipped into Spanish. June and Miguel had taught their children to be bilingual by only speaking Spanish during the first 2 years of their lives, so again for Trini when she was 8 as a refresher when the twins were born. Mateo was the more sensitive of the twins; the more upset or emotional he was, the more likely he was to revert to Spanish. 

They piled on her so that she fell back onto the couch with them on top. 

“Ug, get off,” she complained and shoved at them. “Ew, you’re sticky!” But like some sort of sentient ooze, they kept crawling back up and over her. 

“We’re so happy you’re back!”

“We love you!”

“Ow! Watch your elbow! Get your knee outta my bladder!”

\--

“So, you’re gonna stay?” Kim asked when Trini called her later that night. To her credit, her voice sounded hopeful for Trini. 

The thing was, as much as she loved having Trini around Kim was genuinely happy that things were going well and Trini felt she could stay home and be safe. No one should ever feel like they aren’t welcome in their own home. As empty and lifeless as her home was, it was still her home, at least. As absent as her parents were, they weren’t telling Kim to get out.

Well, not until she turned eighteen at least. They had that much respect and restraint.

Having Trini around was like having a heartbeat in the house, like sunshine shining indoors ( _ although God the way Trini would scoff at that) _ but the Latina deserved to feel safe in her own home and if she could get that, Kim wasn’t going to be greedy and begrudge her it. 

Trini’s happiness meant everything to her.

Besides, nothing really changed for Kim except a return to the status quo. Except for the fact that she was actually feeling legitimately better than she had been recently. 

_ I think I need to stop isolating… _ she considered absently. 

“Yeah, she seems legit,” Trini answered, her voice bringing Kim back from her musings.

“That’s good. I’m glad it seems like an honest misunderstanding.”

“Me too.”

“But… if it turns out that it’s not? I meant what I said. I’ll be there to get you and my house is safe, anytime you need it.”

“I know. Thanks.”

\--

Trini jumped slightly as something fell from the top of her locker as she opened it, clanging on the metal bottom. Hoping it wasn’t some asinine prank, she picked it up, examining it in her hands and feeling a warm glow begin in her belly. Hanging from her hand was a keychain with 2 keys and 2 key fobs; one, a large-eyed yellow kitten, the other a pink bird of some sort. 

_ Housekeys _ , Trini realized.  _ Deadbolt and door _ .

“For when you get tired of using the balcony, Romeo,” Kim whispered in her ear. Trini turned to face her and was greeted by a hopeful smile. “And want to behave like a normal person. And so I don’t have to leave the front door unlocked.”

Trini looked down at her hand and back up at Kim. “Seriously?”

Kim leaned her shoulder against a closed locker. “Yup. Why not, you know? You’re there often enough. Don’t worry, I asked my folks and they were cool with it. So there’s no sneaking around or something. Just don’t tell anyone, especially the boys. You know how jealous Zack gets.”

The teen sounded nonchalant and unbothered but Trini knew her well enough to see the hint of nervousness in her eyes and hear the tinge of uncertainty in her voice. Together, the two elements became hesitant hope that she didn’t need an empathic link to sense. It made the warm glow in Trini’s belly transform into millions of giddy butterflies. 

_ She’s opening up and letting me in! Like, literally!!  _

Clearing her throat, she tried to sound calm and neutral like Kim had and not make a big deal out of it. “Cool.” But, even in that one word her voice squeaked with happiness. She coughed. “Wow, uh, thanks. Really.”

The relieved look on Kim’s face was almost luminous. “You’re welcome.” 

“Sweet.” 

There was a strange awkward pause; Kim hadn’t thought beyond giving Trini the keys and Trini didn’t know what to say beyond thanks. Kim finally broke through it by reaching for one of her books. 

“Hey,” Trini managed in a quick whisper. She gently grasped Kim’s elbow letting her fingers curl around it for a moment and hold it in place. It was out of view between their bodies so she could let the touch linger for a moment without fear of someone seeing and spreading a rumor. “Thanks. I mean it.” 

“Yeah, no problem.”

Hazel eyes met steady brown. This was so much more. “No, I mean, it might seem like nothing or it’s just keys whatever, but it means a lot to me. So, yeah.”

The taller girl’s cheeks flushed. “It’s important to me that you know you’re welcome and have a safe place at my house. I’m not hiding your or sneaking you in so the neighbors don’t see you or something. My neighbors generally don’t care but at least this way if someone asks and I’m not around, you’ll actually have the keys and code to the alarm to cover your butt.”

“Good point,” Trini agreed. Some part of her was disappointed though.

Kim seemed to know. “And I guess if you’re gonna twist my arm I’ll admit that I like having you over and my parents like that you’re over so much.”

“Oh, I’m twisting your arm am I?” the Latina laughed as she let go of Kim’s arm so she could grab the rest of her own books. 

“Nah, not really,” Kim joked back. “You wouldn’t have to.”

Tilting her head, Trini looked at her friend. “Huh?” 

Kim brushed her off. “Nothing. Not important. So think of the keys as my way of opening the door for all hours, not just a window or my balcony door.” She bit her lip for a moment like she was debating whether or not to say something. 

Trini hoped she’d say whatever it was because it looked like it was really bothering her. A cramping twist came over the link for a moment before it faded. Whatever was bugging Kim hurt her to think about. 

Kim took a deep breath. “And I hear what some of the other girls are saying; I’m not sure if you have.”

“I hear them say a lot of things,” Trini responded dryly. The tone was a cover for her anger at hearing about yet more of Kim’s torment. “What’s this one about?

Running a hand through her hair, Kim sighed. “It’s not that bad, it’s just…”

“Come on, spit it out,” Trini encouraged in a playful way, like she would a small child to tell a secret. Letting Kim get tense wouldn’t help any.

Looking up at the ceiling, Kim’s words came in a rush. “Lacey Mack made a comment about me making you come in the back door or the…” her voice dropped to a shamed whisper, “side door, you know, the one for the Help.” 

For a moment, a shine came over Kim’s eyes and the pain from the insult hit Trini in the chest, but it was Kim’s pain not her own. Of all the insults that had been and were still being thrown at her friend, the one accusing her of treating Trini badly was the one that cut the worst.

It took a lot more to insult her especially given that she knew Kim and how well she was actually treated by the older girl. “You listened to something Loose Lips Lacey had to say? I’m shocked; you should know better.”

“Trini…” Kim grumbled, trying to bring the conversation back to the topic.

“What? You should. She’s a bigger gossip than Amanda. Besides, you don’t even have that kind of door,” Trini scoffed lightly. “So, fuck her.”

Silently, Kim had to admit Trini was right. “You’d be too proud to use it if I did…”

“Fucking right.”

“...and I’d never ask you to,” Kim finished. 

“I know that too. Come on,” Trini said with a roll of her eyes. “A service door? Please…” Turning around, she heard Kim closing the locker behind her and took another second to look at the keys. She smiled down at them, pleased and filled with a happiness she couldn’t quite put into words.

At first, she wondered if it had to do with the person she had a small crush on giving her keys to her house but it was deeper than that. After what had happened at her own home, Trini was feeling unsteady on her feet- in her living situation, having a safe place to sleep. Kim had just put solid ground under her feet again.

Her musings were broken by the weight of Kim’s chin on her shoulder.

“By the way,” Kim’s voice rumbled in her ear, her breath so close it made wisps of ombre hair brush against the Latina’s cheek. Trini's breath caught as she was surrounded by Kim's scent. It took everything she had not to inhale deeply. “Don’t worry if I’m not home; you’ve got the keys, just go on in any way. Make yourself at home since it’s pretty much your house too at this point, if you want it, I mean. I’m the only one there anyway.” 

Slinking around, she came to face Trini and the loss of Kim’s warmth against her back gave Trini shiver from the chill.

“And,” Kim started tentatively, “if it ever really comes down to it and your Mom goes nuclear… you know, and it all goes bad? Now, you already have somewhere safe to go. You’ve got a home to go to where you’ll be safe and wanted. Anytime, any day. Whenever. If you need it.” Kim bit her tongue to stop babbling.

Trini adjusted her gray beanie, hoping to hide both her blush and how touched she was by the gesture. Her friend (and rapidly progressing and deepening into more crush) was literally opening her home to her without hesitation, no questions asked. True ‘mi casa es su casa’.

She could still have a home if hers ever threw her out.  _ Safety _ .  _ Acceptance _ .

Touched by the gesture and feeling her eyes water with grateful tears, Trini tried to deflect before her emotions got away from her. “You asking me to move in, Hart? Cuz, this is a little fast. I think the old joke about lesbians says two dates  _ then _ the U-haul,” she joked nervously, immediately choking a bit when she realized what she said.

_ What? Oh, fuck! _

Tension broken, Kim immediately fell back into the familiar banter pattern. “Ah, but I’m not a lesbian,” she tossed back with a smirk, reaching down to sling her bag over her shoulder. 

Disappointment bit into Trini’s chest; she didn’t think Kim was straight either but the dance they seemed to be developing in the area in between was confusing sometimes. Exhilarating and terrifying the rest of the time, but confusing at the moment.

“Thus, the rules don’t apply to me.”

“The rules never apply to you, Princesa,” Trini recovered. 

“Exactly. See, you’re getting the hang of things.” Kim winked. Genuinely winked with a crooked smile that made her dimples show and her white teeth shine.

Trini would have swooned if she wasn’t a badass. 

But it was a close call.

  
  



	17. Take A Breath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TAGS: None really. Some soft and sweet Trimberly moments.
> 
> Just a short, light chapter after so many heavy ones.

When her alarm went off, Kim slapped her hand over it and groaned. Opening her eyes, she rolled over and looked at the spot that until recently had been occupied by Trini. It was empty. She reached out and ran her hand over the pillow, sad at the cold feel of the surface. The lack of the other girl’s warmth and soothing scent were immediately noticed. Her fingers curled into the fabric of the pillowcase and she pulled it to her chest, cuddling into it. It was a poor substitute for the lovely Latina.

_ I prefer having Trini wake me to that stupid alarm _ , she sighed.  _ That grumpy, sleepy face and raspy morning voice is just… ah, too much. _

Chasing away a slightly inappropriate thought, not that it was unwelcome since daydreaming about Trini was a favorite pastime of hers but because she didn’t have the time to linger lazily in bed, Kim reluctantly turned down her covers and got up. She took a moment as she sat on the edge to let herself wake up and stretch, getting the blood moving into her muscles. 

_ It was only a couple of days but it’s strange to wake up without her, alone again in this big house.  _ She ran her hands through her hair to get out any knots that developed overnight as she slept.  _ It’s so quiet, it’s spooky. Why am I only lonely when someone points it out? Weird. _

Tossing away that thought as something that would drag her down, she hopped in the shower to get going. Without Trini there to interrupt her, Kim slipped into her usual mindspace and went about the morning at home by memory without much active thought. It had been much different with the other teen around, having to split bathroom time unless one of them wanted to use a different bathroom. Getting breakfast which they sometimes made at home and just having someone else to talk to- it all broke her routine and forced Kim to engage her brain. Unlike her mornings alone, which were so common she basically sleepwalked through them on autopilot. 

The chime of her phone thankfully broke her from her somewhat blank mental space.

**POKEMON SUN**

U awake? 

Just cuz Im not waking u

Is no excuse Get up

Kim smiled and reengaged her brain, glad to hear from Trini so early. Fully dressed, she grabbed her bag and headed downstairs before typing a reply. 

**POKEMON MOON**

Ha ha. Too late. 

I’m awake and showered

You still need a ride?

**POKEMON SUN**

Wow, impressive!

Yeah plz 

**POKEMON MOON**

K usual time

I’ll get coffee/cocoa? 

**POKEMON SUN**

Tea, please? Hot

**POKEMON MOON**

Hot tea it’ll be. 

Want breakfast?

**POKEMON SUN**

Mom’s in a super mood

Made too much food 

So I’ll bring breakfast

See you soon

**POKEMON MOON**

Sweet

See you in a lil bit

<3

Kim waited, watching to see how long it took for a response from Trini. It was taking less and less time for her best friend to answer the heart emoji texts and although Trini never answered with another heart, at least she answered.

**POKEMON SUN**

Yeah :)

“Always short and sweet,” Kim snorted. “And I can hear her yelling at me for saying short.”

That Trini hadn’t changed her contact name in her phone, which Kim had noticed the other day, amused the hell out of her. It had been a few weeks since Trini had noticed Kim changed it but she hadn’t switched it back. They read the same on Kim’s phone since she’d liked her little joke. 

Feeling more alert, Kim grabbed her bookbag and the bag with the rest of Trini’s laundry in it. She’d valiantly fought the urge to ‘borrow’ Trini’s baby-soft, gray  _ 1973 _ t-shirt. Trini would notice it missing especially since it seemed to be one of her favorite pieces of clothing. Still, Kim had been sorely tempted.

Plus, she’d noticed a few of her t-shirts had gone missing and there was only one possible explanation. Unless her top-of-the-line washer and dryer were suddenly eating her clothes. Selectively. 

It gave her a bit of a giddy feeling that Trini was swiping her clothes. Then again, a few times the other girl had stayed over it was a last-minute thing so she’d needed something to wear the next day. It could be an innocent mistake. But given how sharp Trini was and how she promptly returned anything else she borrowed, including other pieces of clothing, Kim doubted she’d simply ‘forgotten’ to return the shirts.

Although Trini had yet to wear one, Kim was waiting. The slight size difference would probably make it noticeable. Then again, Kim theorized the extra length of the shirt from her height might be balanced by the difference in Trini’s bust size. 

_ We’ll see, I guess. If she ever wears one. What is she doing? Hoarding? _

Kim snorted her amusement at the thought and double-checked that she had everything she needed for the day. They didn’t have any training that afternoon so she skipped taking her workout bag and put on her sneakers before setting the alarm and heading out. 

-

“Oh I love this blend,” Trini hummed her pleasure at the taste of the tea Kim had gotten her. It was a rare treat since whenever it came into stock, it was gone just as fast. The two packages sitting in a bag in the backseat that she’d picked up for Christmas made Kim smile. “What’re you so happy about?”

“Your Mom’s home cooking,” Kim answered easily and truthfully.  “Homemade breakfast is best.”

“You’re getting Mexican breakfast casserole and quiche,” Trini told her. “So expect chilis and chorizo.”

“Mmmm,” Kim moaned, nearly drooling at the thought. “I can’t wait.”

“Yeah, I thought you might like that,” Trini chuckled. 

“How was your first night back?”

Trini stared out her window, a bit more somber. “Fine, I guess. I mean, normal if you overlook Mama making my favorite stuff for dinner and now again at breakfast.”

“Ah, the old sucking up/apology routine. My parents do that by buying me things online and shipping them to me with a note inside. ‘Sorry we missed your <insert event here>’,” Kim mocked her parents. “Someone making you food is so much better.” 

Although she tried to hide it, Kim knew some of her resentment towards her absentee parents leaked over the link. She couldn’t help it; it was exhausting keeping her end shut down, like having to keep a muscle in her head tightly clenched at all times. But it was a better option than letting her pendulum-like emotions wreak havoc on everyone else’s all the time.

“I dunno, I’d kinda like a new laptop,” Trini joked. “But yeah, she’s being extra nice which is kinda creepy but it wore off a little when she saw I was packing food for you.”

Kim ducked her head a little and bit down on a sigh. “Ooo, sorry.”

“Eh, don’t be,” Trini dismissed it. “She’s gotta learn to deal with it, seriously, dude. I mean, it’s not like I’m gonna change or this whole shit thing is gonna put me in the closet or something.”

“Yeah, I don’t see that happening,” Kim agreed.

“Hell no,” Trini scoffed. “Like, I don’t get how she can sit there and watch and learn about conversion therapy and see what all those people went through and how like 98% of them are still gay or trans or whatever put them there in the first place… and still not  _ get _ it. Like, this is it; this is me, Trini. I’m not gonna change just because it bothers her. You know?”

“Yeah, I get it.”

Truthfully, Kim envied her friend’s self-assuredness, the way Trini knew who she was already. Even at her best, Kim never experienced such self-confidence as what Trini expressed on a daily basis. The younger girl walked with a badass swagger that was not only magnetically attractive to her but something Kim wished she could emulate. Those steady shoulders, those sure and even steps- fast but not hurried, slow but not lazy- head held high but nose not in the air. Eyes keen and sharp. Small or not, Trini walked around with an air of confidence that belonged to someone twice her size.

At least, during the moments when the beautiful chameleon wasn’t blending into the woodwork, watching everyone with those hazel eyes that missed nothing.

The honk of a horn shook Kim from her thoughts.

“You ok there?” Trini teased. “Green means go in America.”

“Hangry,” Kim grunted for fun. 

“Good thing we’re almost there. Wouldn’t wanna lose an ear to a hangry Pink Ranger.” Kim gnashed her teeth at her. “Dork.”

“So you like to say.”

Trini tilted her head. “It’s the truth,” she smiled. “Y’know, I had no idea how… silly you could be. I’m observant and all but I had no clue.”

Kim put on her blinker and eased into traffic. “Why would you? I had my act down pat. I sure as shit made sure not to act like I do around you at school. Or around other people, actually.”

“Why?” Trini asked sadly although she had a good idea why.

Concentrating on morning traffic, it took Kim a moment to respond. “Hmmm, self-preservation, I guess?” she began with a half-hearted shrug. “I told you a bit about what it was like for me moving here; I just wanted to fit in. I mean, could you see me doing that or making the cheerleading squad if I acted half as… weird as I do around you?”

“I mean, it’s not that bad,” Trini offered. “I think you’re funny.” She side-eyed Kim. “Sometimes.” 

“Mmm, I think you’re biased,” Kim teased. “But I wouldn’t have made the squad or been a head cheerleader. With them, unless it includes putting someone down, they don’t have much of a sense of humor.”

“No shit.”

“I know. So, while they like to make fun of how a person looks, I’d rather make stupid faces to make you laugh, make anyone laugh.”

“That’s on purpose? I thought that was your face.”

Kim gasped in mock offense. “How dare you?”

“Don’t cross your eyes when you’re driving, Kimberly,” the Latina scolded with a playful huff.

“Ok, ok,” Kim agreed it was a poor idea. “Anyway, I hid that part of me. I would’ve been a social outcast for one of my stupid jokes faster than I was for the whole Amanda thing if I’d dared let the mask slip. You think things are bad now? Imagine that. Poor newcomer Kim with a thick British accent and no friends at all being tortured everyday by bullies. She wouldn’t have survived it.”

Trini made an angry, protective sound. The same emotions came over the link.

“Yeah, I know but we both know it’s the truth,” Kim reminded her. “So, weird, silly Kim got buried someplace deep and the bitch you know and hate was born. That Kim ruled them all.” 

The bitterness in Kim’s voice left the same acrid taste in Trini’s mouth. She took a long drink from her tea to try and chase it away. “The bitch was an act and she’s gone. Plus, I wouldn’t really call you weird, per se,” Trini grumbled, both sad for Kim and as always it seemed, irritated at Kim’s former friends. 

“Ha! Then what would you call it?” Kim asked. Despite the downer of a conversation turn, she sounded amused. As was typical, her self-deprecating humor spun things in a way that made her laugh and it hurt Trini that Kim did that to herself.

Pulling into the school parking lot, Kim looked for a good parking place and waited for Trini to answer.

Trini searched for the right word but nothing seemed to fit for what she wanted to say: funny, dorky, nerdy, strange, hilarious, comfortable…. Comfortable seemed the closest but none were exactly right for what she felt.

She opened her mouth. “Free,” came out spontaneously. 

Putting the car in park and shutting it off, Kim looked at Trini in surprise. “Huh? Free?”

Now that she’d said it, Trini felt it fit. “Yeah, when it’s you and me and you act… well, that’s just it, you don’t act at all. I mean, not at first and all but more so now; we’re both just freely reacting instead of worrying about what the other thinks of how we act, right? Do you follow?”

“I think so, yeah. I used to worry about what you thought about what I said or did when we were alone,” Kim confessed shyly. “I still do but not as much.”

Trini smiled gently and reached for the Tupperware full of food. She handed Kim hers and their utensils before she sat back to eat again, albeit a much smaller portion than Kim’s. She’d already had seconds at breakfast with her family.

“Me too. I think it’s normal with new friends,” she opined. “I mean, it’s barely November; we’ve only been friends since September and neither of us is very trusting to start with. I think we’re doing pretty good given who we are, who we were to each other to start, you know? If I feel secure and comfortable to be touched and share space with you and you feel comfortable or safe enough to act that… free around me. Get it?” For a moment, she felt she’d lost the point in her rambling.

“Yeah, I do,” Kim nodded. 

Warmth and pride ran through Trini. One of her biggest priorities was to make Kim feel safe like that. To have succeeded, at least this much, filled her with a sense of satisfaction that was amazingly fulfilling.

“I don’t feel judged when you call me dorky,” Kim went on. “It doesn’t feel mean. It’s just you joking with me like how I tease about your size. There’s no malice in it. Since I know that, I stopped policing what I say around you as much.”

_ I wish you’d let your accent out, _ Trini sighed. On the positive side, she noticed that the older girl’s British accent slipped out the most when it was just the two of them as if Kim was letting that guard down as well. 

If it took her the rest of her life and a lifetime of bruises from colliding with innumerable walls, Trini was determined to get to the beautiful wounded soul that Kim kept fiercely protected. The more she learned, the more she understood the reasons why Kim kept herself so hidden away. Trini had her own reasons why she held herself apart much the same way. The thing was, the more she learned about Kim, the more she was learning about herself. 

“You’re the only one who’s allowed to tease about my size,” she growled after she swallowed a bite. “I’ll kill anyone else. Zack’s come close to death a few times.”

“He has and it’s funny every time. But, the same goes for anyone who calls me those names like weird or dorky. Those sorts of names are your privilege only,” Kim declared.

A thrill went through Trini. “Ok, so I was saying, I had no idea that  _ the _ Kim Hart was such a funny, strange, and dorky weirdo.” 

Kim smiled goofily. “Surprise! She’s quite a mystery, really.” Her accent was out and proud.

It made Trini grin; she loved the sound of it. “Yeah, but she’s not so bad, I guess. Don’t worry, though, I won’t tell anyone.”

Kim blushed and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear bashfully, taken by surprise. “Oh, uh, thanks. I guess that’s ok, as long as you don’t tell.”

“I won’t,” Trini grinned.

“And as long as you like her,” Kim added softly.

Shifting to put her hair in front of her face, Trini was glad Kim couldn’t see her blush or the way it spread to her ears, tinting the tips red. “I wouldn’t trade her for anything.”

-

After lunch, Kim was headed towards AP English when she spotted Billy who she shared the class with. He was scribbling in his notebook with a sad expression on his face.

“Hey, Billy, what’s up?”

Billy looked up from his notes. “Hi Kim! I’m rearranging my schedule. I had plans with Jason for this afternoon until dinner but his father called. He needs Jason’s help with the boat; there’s a problem with the engine. I offered to help but he said ‘no thanks’.”

“Ah. I’m sorry. Do you need a ride home?” 

“No, Jason can still take me home but he has to leave after that.” He was genuinely disappointed.

“What were your plans, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I don’t mind at all!” Billy said, his mood lifting as he engaged with his friend. “There’s an afternoon metal and electronics swap meet in Midcity. Jason was going to give me a ride and hang out with me.”

“On a Thursday afternoon?” Kim questioned.

“Yeah, it’s unusual, I agree,” Billy agreed. “You see, they hold this swap meet periodically at the Midcity Motocross Center and this was the only time they could book this month. They have a big motocross rally coming up this weekend and the outdoor space is booked after today for that and all kinds of events going forward.”

“Ah, I see. Makes sense to have it today then,” Kim nodded her understanding. “Instead of skipping it altogether.”

“I have a lot of friends that show up, mostly to hang out and talk, you know, about what we’re working on. We give each other feedback and insight. I was really hoping to go,” Billy said sadly. “A friend of mine is going to be there with a piece I’ve been looking for for an invention I’m stuck on.”

“I’ll take you,” Kim offered suddenly. As interested as she generally was in Billy’s inventions and theories, she wasn’t feeling it that afternoon. But, she did like the idea of hanging out with him for a while.

Billy perked up. “What? Really? Don’t you have plans?”

“Today? Nah. I can do my homework after we get home or whenever,” she told him but she knew what he wasn’t saying. It was funny to her that the guys always assumed where she went, Trini also went and vice versa. 

_ I mean, they aren’t wrong. _

“And Trini’s settling back in at home and spending time there,” she explained. “Her little brothers are all over her, apparently. She says she hates it but I think she’s lying.”

“I’ve observed that she’s very fond of her brothers,” Billy smiled, catching on to Kim’s joke and feeling proud. 

“If I have to play one more game of Uno or Skip-bo with them I’m gonna set fire to the cards,” Trini grumbled from behind them. She held up a notebook. “You left your AP notebook. I think you took my math one.”

Checking her bag, Kim confirmed her error. “Shit, sorry and thanks.”

“No prob. Do I need to catch a ride elsewhere?” Trini asked.

“Nah, I should be able to drop you off anyway, even if you and I head to Midcity right after last period, right Billy?” Kim checked with the tall boy.

Billy did the calculations in his head. “Oh sure, we’ve got plenty of time!”

“Nah, I’ll make Jace give me a ride. You two head out after last,” Trini encouraged them. “Have fun but stay out of trouble,” she teased as she shoved her notebook into her bag. “I don’t have bail money for any shenanigans you two get into.”

“Oh haha,” Kim deadpanned although a wide smile was on her face. “Don’t worry, though; I do.”

“I doubt we’ll be in need of bail money,” Billy said with a small wave at his departing friend. 

As she turned to walk off, Trini gave them a salute. Kim couldn’t hide her smile when she spotted a yellow carabiner clipped to the younger girl’s right front belt loop. The other end was tucked into the front pocket of her jeans and undoubtedly led to the set of keys she’d given Trini a day earlier. 

_ That was fast _ , she smiled to herself.  _ Probably already had a carabiner laying around. Giving her keys was probably the smartest thing I’ve done in the last two years or better. Mom and Dad practically jumped at the idea of her being around more and being able to come and go as she pleased. It was kind of weird. They were never like that with Amanda or anyone. She wasn’t even allowed to know the code. _

Billy clapped his hands together happily as he bounced on the balls of his feet. “I’m so excited! We’ll get there just as the food trucks finish setting-up!”

Kim’s eyes got wide and her attention focused completely on Billy. “Wait, food trucks? What kind of food trucks?”

She ignored Trini’s laughter coming from further down the hall.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... and be careful. Quiet is often a prelude to something else...


	18. The Pendulum Swings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TAGS: Angst, parental issues, self-esteem issues.
> 
> SUMMARY: As things at home seem to calm down for Trini, they begin to get stressful for Kim.

Pulling into the driveway at her house, Kimberly eyed the silver SUV in the driveway with surprise as she parked her car beside it. 

“Huh,” she hummed, biting her lip as she stared out the window at it for a good two minutes before she got out. It was like she wasn’t sure if it was a mirage or not. 

She kicked a back tire and walked in a complete circle around it before stopping with one hand on her hip and a confused tilt to her head. 

“OK, so, this car should be in long-term parking where I left it. My parents aren’t supposed to be home right now,” she observed. Her tone turned suspicious. “Who’s here then? Mom should be in London with… and Dad should be in...shit… well somewhere not here this week. What the hell…?” 

She tapped her foot and thought for a minute. “They’re too soon for Diwali; like, over a week early and they’d never waste that much time at home. Shit did someone die? No, no, someone would have definitely called first. Hmmm, have I done anything bad recently?” 

She seemed to really think about this. “No, no, I’m pretty sure I haven’t. The cafeteria thing was a while ago and I’ve managed to keep my head down and my mouth mostly shut since then. Huh,” she muttered more to herself than Trini. “So who took the car out?”

Trini watched her carefully, unsure whether this new development was good or bad. Kim was sending out uncertainty and suspicion at unusual levels for someone whose parents had arrived home. It felt more like there was a burglar in the house and Kim was hiding in the closet.

It was an odd reaction but maybe with what Trini had seen of their participation in Kim’s life, not really. The two teens hadn’t been friends long but it hadn’t taken long for her to see how absent the Hart’s were in their daughter’s life. As such, Kim didn’t really talk about them unless prompted to like when Zack had asked about their reaction to Kim’s impromptu detention haircut. The Rangers were treated to her colorful, but brief story of the parking lot meltdown. 

But it was only Trini who was privy to the full story of the epic car ride home that followed where Kim had tried to explain herself. Her parents hadn’t accepted any of her excuses, dismissing her as impulsive, spiteful, and childish which Kim had no argument against since, truthfully, she didn’t know why she’d done it either. Not really, at least not at first.

Once they were done yelling at and berating her for her behavior both with her hair and what put her in detention to begin with, Mr. and Mrs. Hart were gone again. They left that very evening, leaving Kim to herself and she went out where she met up with 4 other misfits and nearly died in a van trying to outrun a train. It was why no one noticed when she slept through an entire day. There was no one there to notice. 

A horrible thought jolted Trini where she stood:  _ How long would it have taken for them to notice if she’d died that night? ... _

While Trini often felt suffocated by her own parents, especially lately, Kim’s parents seemed more like a pair of ghosts that appeared and disappeared on their own schedule. They haunted their daughter but more often than not, they didn’t seem to be around at all. Trini hadn’t even seen Mrs. Hart when she’d stopped in for a couple of days a few weeks ago. She was there and then gone. Despite being Kim’s best friend, Maddy Hart didn’t appear to have the time to meet her. 

Trini had never met someone whose parents were less involved in their lives than the Harts. Or so demanding. It was obvious that they held Kim to an incredibly high and exacting standard that wore the teen down. How a set of parents could demand so much from their child while not being present to guide her was beyond Trini’s comprehension. Kim had no guidance or support from the very people she was supposed to be able to count on no matter what.

In the past, Trini had grown up with kids who saw their divorced or estranged parents more than Kim saw her still-married mom and dad who technically lived with her. The fact that Kim was trying to figure out what was ‘wrong’ or what she’d done in order to justify her parents being in their own home was worrisome. It shouldn’t come down to those options just for them to return home.

Although Trini didn’t know anything about the Harts as people, aside from them being well-respected doctors, she knew that they had money- if the two-story mansion on the side of the mountain was any indication. With a start, she realized she knew more about the house than she did the parents of her best friend. Although, given how much time she’d taken to spending there, that was to be expected. 

The house was massive; it looked like the cover of an architectural magazine and Trini was willing to bet it had been in more than a few since Kim had alluded to it. It was beautiful with huge windows that looked over an equally stunning view of the woods in back and a vista of Angel Grove itself. A large in-ground pool wrapped around the back along with a patio and deck. A balcony/deck wrapped around part of the second floor, including a somewhat secluded section around Kimberly’s room which allowed her to sit outside on nice days and even camp outside on the first-floor roof on summer nights. It was also an ideal place for the other Rangers to visit and hang out whenever they felt the whim.

The house had 10 rooms, not counting the communal spaces like the kitchen and living room, with 4 1/2 bathrooms. To Trini, this seemed ridiculous, if not comically large for only 3 people. And while it was stunning inside, it felt unpleasantly eerie and hollow to her. Kim had once explained that her parents had planned to have more children so when they moved from London to Angel Grove (with a brief stop in Canada) when she was 10, they bought the house with that in mind. But they never found the time to have more children and never got around to downsizing their house either. The spare rooms had been converted to other uses through the years so they weren’t completely useless. Growing up, Kim had gotten used to the emptiness and claimed that it never bothered her but Trini had the feeling it was the exact opposite.

Back when Kim was the queen bee of the school, head cheerleader and surrounded by her old friends, she had always struck Trini as somehow painfully lonely; she’d just learned how to hide it from most people, even her friends, and parents. But to someone like Trini who spent most of her time on the outside quietly observing people and their behavior, it was obvious. It was one of the reasons that as much as Trini generally disliked people like pre-Power Ranger Kimberly Hart at the other schools she spent time in, she never harbored the same amount of animosity towards that version of Kim at Angel Grove High. They weren’t friends but she didn’t go out of her way to make Kim an enemy and surprisingly, it wasn’t Kim that Trini had problems with from that group anyway; it was smaller fish like Rebecca and Sara who were easier to deal with.

Despite Kim’s popularity, Trini saw the same pain of not fitting in, of feeling out of place in one’s own skin in Kim that she’d been dealing with for almost as long as she could remember. She saw the same look of loneliness in Kim’s eyes while surrounded by a crowd that Trini herself suffered from. She had often wondered when anyone had last taken a good look at Kimberly because if someone had taken the time to bother, maybe they might have noticed how sad she was beneath the smiles and flat laughter. The fact that no one, not even Kim’s so-called friends, noticed the brunette was suffering bothered Trini before they became friends and as she grew to know Kim as a person, it incensed her to no end. 

Watching her suffer in silence made disliking her almost impossible for Trini. From the outside, it looked like Kim had it all but Trini could see how painful and hollow it all was. And she’d wanted to reach out, was almost compelled to but was always stopped by the same thoughts:

_ Why would she wanna hear from me? I’m no one. Anyway, someone else sees this, right? _

_ I don’t wanna be laughed off-campus. I’ve got my own problems.  _

_ Yeah, like I won’t get the shit kicked out of me by Ty and his buddies for even looking at Kim. I don’t need that shit. _

_ It’s not my place. _

So she kept to herself and tried to keep her distance. 

But, that didn’t mean that she didn’t see what was coming and Trini wondered how everyone else could have been taken by surprise when Kim had finally snapped.

Over the course of the first year she’d been at Angel Grove High, Trini saw the oncoming train wreck. For someone on top of the pack and who doled it out just as much as she got it, Kim wasn’t treated all that well. Day after day, week after week, Amanda and the cheer squad or Ty and his friends used and abused Kim in some way or another. They spent her money, laughed at her behind her back (and sometimes to her face), and did the other things those groups thrive on. 

It happened on almost a daily basis and that only accounted for the times when Trini was close enough to Kim to observe her. Trini didn’t see what happened when it was just the cheer squad in the locker room or just Kim and Ty alone. Which was a thought she avoided now that she was learning more about what it was like for Kim to be around them.

Long before the scandal with Amanda happened, Trini saw that there was something else stirring beneath the loneliness and sadness directly under the bright and happy mask Kim wore. Unfortunately, loneliness and sadness left unchecked for too long could become anger and resentment and for Kim, underneath what she allowed people to see was a well-spring of well-controlled, intense anger. It bubbled just below the surface and only escaped in little bursts in her ‘mean girl’ moments but those moments didn’t diminish that rage any; it only continued to grow. 

It also came out in the girl’s self-hatred and that form frightened Trini at times.

The cycle had been easy for Trini to spot and watch; each time when one of Kim’s old friends had slighted or upset her, the brunette took it in stride, no matter how vile or mean the attack was. Kim wasn’t stupid; she knew if she spoke out against any of it her friends would turn against her. Her position at the top was hard-won and tenuously kept at best. One slip and it would all evaporate.

From her position as an invisible nobody in class, Trini watched Kim’s anger build and ebb, build and ebb over and over. She watched Kim bite her tongue, clench her fists, or laugh things off time and time again with only a flash of rage behind her eyes. A rage that no one noticed until the last straw fell and Kim finally snapped. Trini didn’t condone what Kim had done, it was beyond wrong but a wounded animal was dangerous when cornered and that was what Kim reminded her of when the whole thing happened- a badly wounded, trapped and frightened animal gnashing her teeth at anything that got too close.

When it all went down, in her opinion no one should’ve been surprised that Kim lashed out the way she did. In no way did she justify what Kim had done but it was no real surprise to Trini that her reaction was so vicious.

And if she were being completely honest, all things considered, she couldn’t say that she wouldn’t react with the same amount of venom as Kim did if it had been her in the situation.

“Just a warning: I haven’t seen them since the day I cut my hair. This should be fun. I hope you can sense the sarcasm.”

Trini paused.  _ No, your Mom was home a few weeks ago. Wait, what?  _

There was no time to think about it as Kim swung open the front door to her house and immediately the pleasant smell of spices tickled Trini’s nose making her stomach growl softly. 

“I wasn’t hungry until now,” she mumbled. She blinked at Kim, still caught in her thoughts.  _ Did you lie to me? Why? _

Kim yelled into the house. “Hello? Mama? Is that you?” Then quieter. “Of course it’s her, a burglar wouldn’t be cooking… dumbass…”

“Kimberly! Beti! ...” was all Trini understood. What followed was an interesting jumble of sounds that she didn’t recognize but figured was Gujarati. The taller girl shot her an apologetic look as the tips of her ears turned red. Having grown up in a bilingual household, Trini just smiled and shrugged it off. 

_ Let it go, Trin. Ask her about it later. _

“Mama!” Kim called back to the kitchen in a huffy voice. Trini didn’t understand what she said next until she ended it with an equally annoyed “...COMPANY!” A pan or a pot, she wasn’t sure, clattered to the counter and Kimberly pinched her nose with a sigh.

“Mom’s home,” she explained, unnecessarily. “And hungry, apparently. I just told her...”

“You must be Traci!” Kimberly’s mother appeared from around the corner and Trini couldn’t miss the way Kim winced at the wrong name. Or the way the woman didn’t greet her own daughter with even a hug.

“I swear she knows it’s Trini,” Kim agonized under her breath. 

While the older woman was beautiful and Kim might have gotten her coloring from her, in truth Kim and Mrs. Hart didn’t look that much alike. Where Kim was tall and lanky, her mother wasn’t much taller than Trini herself and was a bit plumper than either teen. Her hair was nearly jet black and long, to the middle of her back much like Kim’s had been before she impulsively cut it ages ago at detention. 

Mrs. Hart’s eyes were a darker brown and lacked the flecks of gold with the hint of cinnamon red that Kim’s had which would light up when the sun hit them just right or when she truly laughed. And Mrs. Hart’s upper lip didn’t quirk up at the edges either, the way Kim’s did. Not that Trini spent any time noticing such small details like that about her best friend. Doing so would indicate that crush that Trini didn’t have time to acknowledge. If she did notice these and a few other minor things, they were purely artistic observations. Completely. 

“Hello, my dear, I’m Kimberly’s mother, Maddy.” Maddy’s British accent was almost melodic. “I’m sorry if I’d known she was bringing someone over I wouldn’t have spoken Gujarati. That was rude of me." Trini shook the offered hand and smiled politely despite the woman getting her name wrong despite her suspicion that it was on purpose. 

“That’s alright. It’s nice to meet you,” Trini greeted her with her best manners. 

Unfortunately, she was at a disadvantage at how to approach the woman since Kim spoke so rarely of her parents. The only info on Maddy she had was the very brief hello they exchanged the first night she slept over and what Kim told her about the days Maddy was supposedly in town. Now, those days were in question; she wasn’t sure she could completely trust what Kim said about her mother’s visit. 

“Mom, this is  _ Trini _ ,” Kim corrected her mother, her tone sharp. “Not Traci. I’ve told you about her in like a dozen of my emails. I’ve even called you. You just let her stay over for a few days, remember?” Maddy was too far away to hear the exasperated  _ “Shit.” _ Kim exhaled under her breath. 

“Right, Trini. The little Mexican one,” Maddy corrected herself.

Kim groaned loudly “Oh my God, Mother.” She covered her eyes in shame and looked away from Trini. “Please stop. Uhm… when did you get home?” 

Maddy waved off her daughter’s annoyance. “Calm down. My flight got in earlier this afternoon. When I took the car out of long-term parking, I saw that you didn’t clean it well the last time you used it.”

The comment had a slight edge that made Kim wince.

While Trini had no outright reason not to like the physician, yet, there was something about Maddy Hart that set off a small alarm bell in the Yellow Ranger’s mind. She couldn’t quite put her finger on what it was that was putting her off but her instincts weren’t something she ignored. Until she figured it out, Trini was going to keep both eyes on the older woman.

Shifting a little closer, Trini brushed her hip against Kim’s in an effort to send comfort and support. She did the same over the morphing grid to let Kim know she wasn’t insulted. Well, she was but she wasn’t blaming Kim for it. 

“Oh, uh, sorry. So, how long are you here for?” Kim asked, carefully trying to hide her interest from her voice and failing, at least from Trini’s point of view. It was obvious she wanted her mother around but didn’t want to seem overexcited or to get her hopes up too soon.

“Your father and I lucked out for a change; I have a 12-hour layover before I head to New York and he’ll be here for about 7 of those so I’m making his favorite meal.”

“Dad’ll be home, too?” The tone of hopefulness in Kim’s voice made Trini sad. She wondered when Kim last spent time with her parents and whether or not she should look for a chance to leave. 

At the same time, she wasn’t sure she wanted to leave Kim with her mother yet either; the alarm bell was getting louder.

“His plane landed a little while ago so he should be here soon. He’s grabbing an Uber.”

“Kim, do you want me to come back later to study?” Trini asked as the conversation lulled for a moment. The question was more for appearances than any true intent to leave. “You can spend some time with your parents…” Kim’s huge panicked eyes ( _ why are they panicked? _ ) were enough to tell her ‘no’ before Maddy spoke up.

“Oh no, dear, you must stay for supper!” Maddy insisted as she turned back towards the kitchen. “Ted will want to meet you. We haven’t met any of Kimmy’s new friends.” 

Trini heard a soft grunt beside her. Kim hated being called Kimmy. 

“We’ll want to discuss the time you stayed here as well, to which you were more than welcome,” Maddy added. It was the first fully sincere thing Trini could pin down. “It’s lovely that you felt close enough to Kim to turn to her for help. Honestly, I was surprised; it’s unlike her.”

Trini’s facial expression shifted to a deep frown. “Excuse…”

“Lately, Kimmy’s been more standoffish than usual,” Maddy went on as if she didn’t hear her. “Although, I suppose after… To be frank, her father and I weren’t sure she’d be able to make any new friends after what she did to Amanda.” Maddy stopped and turned back to the girls who had been slowly following her. She eyed Kim and then Trini critically. It made the Latina feel like a microbe under a microscope, a feeling she distinctly didn’t like.

“I need to ask- for your sake, Trini,” Maddy’s attention shifted to focus solely on the smaller of the two teens. “Did Kimberly tell you about the…  _ incident _ between her and Amanda?” 

Maddy had tried to frame it, both in phrasing and tone as if she had Trini’s best interests at heart, but the cunning Latina saw right through it. And just like that, Trini instantly understood what the alarm bell in her head was- Madeline Hart was a classic ‘mean girl’. Petty, spiteful, and plain old mean, even to her own daughter. Apparently, Kim had come by that behavior naturally enough but she was working to overcome it. Clearly, Maddy had not made the same effort to grow beyond it.

From the corner of her eye, Trini could see the way the woman’s words made Kimberly’s body fold in on itself. Anyone unfamiliar with the Pink Ranger’s body language would likely miss the subtle shifting but to Trini, it was as clear as if the other girl had collapsed to the floor in utter defeat. It was the same beaten puppy look that would quickly pass over Kim’s face and ripple through her body an instant before she could hide it every time something reminded her of her transgression with Amanda. 

Whatever form it took- the graffiti on her locker, the whispers and shoves in the hallways and classrooms, the vile messages about her scrawled in lipstick on the mirrors and in marker on the walls in the girl’s bathrooms- she never really reacted to them. She just tilted her head in the way that sometimes broke Trini’s heart because it made her look so broken and lost, two words that should never be used to describe Kimberly Hart. But always, an instant later Kim’s head would be held high, her face would be back to smiling or another equally normal expression as the teen moved on with no one the wiser.

No one except perhaps Trini.

Because Trini knew despite the virtual non-reaction, each one hit Kim like a physical blow, much harder than any Putty could possibly hit her and each one left an invisible mark no amount of super-powered healing could ever fully erase. Kim carried each of the insults, threats, and comments within her- each cutting remark calling her fat or worthless and telling her to kill herself simmered deep inside where they festered and added to her self-loathing and rage.

Right now, Trini watched the way both of Kim’s hands clenched into fists at her sides and she wanted nothing more than to reach out and grasp them in her own. But she didn’t know how the Harts looked at physical contact, especially since Maddy hadn’t greeted Kim with so much as a hug. Still, she’d give almost anything to somehow soothe the pain and self-hatred she could feel emanating from her friend. Trini swore she could even feel the whimper of shame caught in Kim’s throat. 

She sent out a wave of calm and affection, trying to fight the flood of negativity she was getting. Then again, Trini doubted that she needed the morphing grid to feel the way Kim hated herself, despised what she’d done and how she was completely unable to forgive herself. Hearing how it was her mother’s go-to topic of conversation with new people and that she couldn’t escape her ‘crime’ even in her own homemade it easy for Trini to see why it was so hard for Kim to move on.

On top of that, the smugness of Maddy's tone, as if she were going to expose some seedy secret of Kim’s that would drive Trini away or ruin their friendship disgusted the Latina. Add to that how the woman was deliberately making her daughter feel even worse about something clearly still tearing her up inside and a hot maelstrom of anger developed within Trini.

It coalesced and snapped together, giving Trini the impulse to take a breath in preparation of giving the elder Hart a piece of her mind.

Kim’s head snapped up towards her as the anger rippled through the Grid and Trini felt the answering pulse of desperation as Kim begged her through their emotional link not to get angry with her mother and say something to make things worse. The desperation was sharp and painful.

“Yes, she did,” Trini said tersely but not impolitely. Her concern was in not wanting to upset Kim more than she already was, not any care towards Maddy’s feelings. Lacing her tone with as much politeness dipped in nitroglycerin as she could, she refused to back down. “It was one of the first things we talked about when we became friends. That Kim isn’t the Kim I know. That’s not my Kim.” She cursed herself for blushing when the words  _ ‘my Kim’ _ slipped out.

When she looked over and gave Kim a warm smile, Trini was relieved to see an answering blush on the taller girl’s face. Taking a chance, she reached out for her hand to give it a quick squeeze, which Kim returned. They tangled their fingers together and didn’t let go.

“Did she? That’s surprising; she’s not usually so honest. Well, that’s good, I suppose. As long as you know what she’s capable of,” Maddy claimed as if she were doing Trini a favor. She looked at but pointedly ignored their joined hands. 

The way Kim’s hand had gone cold in hers bothered Trini; Kim was usually warm. She held on a little tighter.

“I’d hate to see you become good friends only to have Kim hurt you the same way. Or even worse, who knows? I’ve warned her that that’s a risk she’s taking by being friends with you. I’ve asked if she thought that was fair to you.”

Trini ground her teeth together. Maddy wasn’t looking for a response, she just wanted a chance to air out some of Kim’s dirty laundry for her. It was a wonder steam wasn’t coming from Trini’s nose and ears yet.

“It’s a shame that she has such trouble controlling her temper and her impulses. We wasted so much money on counseling but, you have to want help for it to work. Oh well.” The woman went back to her cooking.

Trini could feel her blood pressure rising with every offhand comment Maddy made about Kim as well as how she could feel the way each comment cut into Kim over their connection. Each thing Maddy said hit Kim like a slap in the face and yet to look at her, as was typical, there was no reaction. Internally, it felt like Kim was bleeding to death over the Ranger link, having gone ice-cold inside.

In a way, Trini was glad Kim’s parents weren’t around if this was how her mother treated her on the odd occasions they saw one another. The brunette was better off alone than constantly being belittled and berated by someone who didn’t know or understand her.

“I guess a spoiled child is a spoiled child,” Maddy muttered more to herself than to the girls. “But what can you do? You give and you give, get them everything that they want and it’s never enough. Shame.”

Kim’s hand tightened in hers almost painfully, her mother’s words wounding her worse than anything Rita or the kids at school had been able to do. 

Feeling something akin to a rubber band inside her chest snap, Trini took a deep breath and opened her mouth. Red had settled over her vision and she could hear her heartbeat (or maybe Kim’s) in her ears.

But before she could manage to say anything snarky in Kim’s defense, the front door opened.

“Anyone home?” a male voice called out. Kim’s face lit up and a flood of joy came over the Grid connection that was so strong it nearly knocked Trini back a step. It completely washed away her rage and left her winded where she stood, unsteady in the wake of it. But it wasn’t an unpleasant feeling; it was like every Christmas, birthday, happy surprise, and joyful moment in her life was suddenly put into one moment, a single breath.

“Daddy!” Kim squealed happily and slipped her hand from Trini’s with a quick squeeze before running to greet her father. Trini watched her friend leap into the tall man’s arms and laugh as he spun her around. It was a real-life recreation of that epic Disney moment when a Princess is reunited with her father after a long time apart. 

Trini could almost hear the swell of the music.

“Little Bird!” he called back to Kim, just as happy. 

Looking at him, Trini could see where Kim got her more athletic frame and height. Mr. Hart was tall and wiry, reminding her of the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz in stature as well as how he moved. He had a bit of that awkward all knees and elbows look to him that was endearing along with giving the impression that his limbs were too long for his body. His body language was fluid and airy much the same way Kim’s was. His shaggy blonde hair was in need of a trim and his wire-rimmed glasses made him look like the surfer version of Harry Potter.

After a few spins, he put Kim down and gave her a good look over. “You look terrific, Little Bird!” He reached out and cupped the side of his daughter’s face. “So healthy and strong. Are you doing all right? How are you feeling? I’m so happy to see you!” Another tight hug followed.

_ That’s how a parent should greet their kid _ , Trini thought bitterly with a subtle side-glare in the direction of Kim’s mother.  _ She still hasn’t touched Kim! What the hell? That’s some parental alienation shit right there. _

“I’m good, Daddy,” Kim giggled. This laughter was new to Trini, light and airy in a childlike way she wouldn’t equate with Kim, sadly. But it was wonderful to hear that innocence and joy in her friend’s voice. “I’m so glad you’re home!”

“My girl!” He ruffled her hair. “Ya know, I didn’t like it at first but it looks good on you. Fits you right now.” Kim grinned and all but floated away. 

Mr. Hart then looked over towards Maddy and Trini. “Wait a second. There’s one pretty girl too many here.” Trini found herself blushing despite herself as he approached her. He was disarmingly charming another trait Kim picked up from him, apparently. 

“Let me see who we have here.” He put a hand on his chest at about Trini’s height and she waited for the typical comment about her height. “Hmmm...judging by the clothing, hair… those eyes… Oh! I see a trademark beanie...you have  _ got _ to be Trini Gomez, the feisty Latina spitfire who my daughter seems spellbound by.” He had her lightly by the shoulders as he turned his head to his stunned daughter. “You’re right, darling, her eyes  _ are _ quite dazzling.” 

“Ack!” Kim choked on air and turned beet red. “Dad!” He released Trini and ruffled Kim’s hair playfully again.

Trini smiled as a warm flood of happiness rolled through her. “Pleased to meet you, Mr. Hart.” 

“Call me Ted but not teddy cuz I’m not a bear,” he laughed as Kim rolled her eyes beside him. “She hates that joke. It’s really nice to meet you, Trini. Kimmy has told me so much about you.” His eyes twinkled as he spoke giving Trini the impression of a very genuine and kind person. 

It was becoming clear which parent Kim took after the most. 

“I can’t wait to get to know you myself,” he finished. When he looked up at Maddy, a look which Trini could only describe as profound adoration and love covered his face. “Hello there, beautiful wife.” 

Maddy’s face reflected the look, easily making her look 10 years younger. Trini wanted to be with someone (Kimberly) who looked at her the same way after what she assumed was the Hart’s nearly 20 years together. They looked like teenagers in love for the first time. 

“Hello, husband,” the British woman all but purred as she approached him.

A groan from Kim startled Trini. “Look away,” she warned with a grimace. “They see each other sparingly so when they do, it gets rated R real fast.”

“Sorry,” Ted laughed, his ears red and with an embarrassed but charming smile. 

Maddy was less chagrined. “You’re old enough to understand. So go upstairs if it’s such a problem for you.” She added something in Gujarati that made Kim glare at her before she grasped Trini’s hand, grabbed their book bags and headed for the stairs.

“Great idea. Call us for dinner. Or don’t. We’ll order a pizza. Love you.” Kim darted up the stairs, dragging Trini with her until they were in the safety of her room where she locked the door behind them and flopped onto the bed. Trini did the same.

“Are you alri-”

Kim immediately sat up with a jolt, went to the door, unlocked and opened it before yelling, “TURN OFF THE STOVE AND TAKE THE FOOD OFF THE BURNER FIRST SO YOU DON’T SET FIRE TO THE KITCHEN AGAIN!” 

She slammed the door, relocking it immediately after.

Trini dissolved into giggles. “Are they seriously about to…?” 

Kim flopped face-first onto the bed beside her. “Yes.” Her voice was muffled by the duvet. “They’ve only got a few hours so they’ll be at it like rabbits. We’ll have to order that pizza later because dinner won’t get cooked. It’s not the first time she’s done this.”

“That’s hilarious!” 

Kim groaned loudly into the mattress in response. 

  
  



	19. Meet the Harts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TAGS: Questionable parenting, neglect, unrealistic parental expectations, unhealthy family dynamics 
> 
> Trini has dinner with Kim and Drs Mr. & Mrs. Hart. The family dynamic isn't something she's prepared for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!

Waiting until she felt enough time had passed, Trini finally broke the somewhat awkward silence of Kim’s room. “Yo, our Moms suck.”

To her relief, it was just the right thing to say as Kim burst out laughing from where she still lay on her stomach on the bed. She hadn’t really moved since her defeated dive onto the mattress earlier. 

“Ah, sometimes,” she answered back once she finished giggling. Rolling onto her back, Kim sighed and stared at the ceiling. “That was a bit much, though. Even for her. She’s strict and everything but not like that, not whatever that was.”

“That was mean,” Trini protested protectively. “Shit, she didn’t even hug you…”

“Mmm, don’t take offense at that,” Kim told her. “That has nothing to do with me or her being mean. Did you notice that she and Dad didn’t hug either? Even after they started eye-fucking like they were in heat?” She groaned in embarrassment again.

Snickering, Trini thought back; they hadn’t. “Oh.”

“Yeah, Mom’s not big on showing affection when there’s someone else around,” the older girl explained. “It’s an Indian thing mostly. I mean, it’s not like she would have been cuddly or anything but if I’d been alone she’d have hugged me hello.”

Trini felt terrible. “I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault, neither of us knew she was here,” Kim reminded her. “Don’t worry about it. My Dad’s hugs make up for it. He doesn’t feel the same as she does about it.”

“His hugs look awesome,” Trini agreed with a smile. “He seems cool.”

A grin split Kim’s face for a bright moment before she pushed it down. “Eh, he’s ok. I mean, as far as I know,” she added, bringing back the fact that her parents were virtual strangers to her. “He’s always been the fun one, the more easy-going one. Sorry you walked into all that, though.” Despite herself, the smile still fought to come back. She clearly adored her father but was trying not to show it.

“You didn’t know either,” Trini tossed back. 

“Yeah.” The smile finally faded when Kim brought her hands to her face and hid behind them, letting out another yell of frustration although it was quieter and contained more anger. Dragging her hands down her face, she grunted. “Shit, send a text and let me know, Mom. I hate when they just pop-up like this without warning.”

Trini nodded. It was easy to understand why. Kim was a creature of habit as well and this had completely thrown her off. 

“Here’s the thing, though,” Kim went on, “my Mom’s basically a genius. She doesn’t randomly forget things or get them wrong. She knows your name is Trini, not Traci. She’s acting this way to get a rise out of me for some reason and I can’t let her.”

Trini frowned. It didn’t make sense. “Why would she do that? Even my Mom doesn’t do that around company. It’s the opposite and she’s on like, super Sunday best church behavior when she first meets someone.”

“I’m not sure. To see how I react around you, maybe? I mean, I’ve talked about you in some emails and she’s kinda right about the whole friend thing. I only have you and the guys and she hasn’t met any of you. She was probably just as surprised to see you as we were to see her so she took the opportunity to provoke me.”

“I still don’t get why,” Trini scoffed. “It’s just… mean.”

“Meh,” Kim shrugged. “I’m supposed to be watching my temper; what better way to see how I’m doing?”

“She could try asking,” Trini growled, “like a normal person. Or ask me, someone who’s around you.”

“She still might.”

“Won’t your Dad notice her trying to set you off?”

“Yeah, he will and he’ll ignore it,” Kim sighed. “He hates conflict and avoids it as much as possible so she pretty much gets to do what she wants until I lose it and then he scolds me and I feel worse.”

“Seriously?” Trini was incredulous. 

“Yeah. Crap, I’ve been feeling pretty good lately, too. I really don’t wanna get into it with her.” She tilted her head to look at Trini. “I hate to ask, but if I start to pop off…”

“I’ll try to stop you, you don’t even have to ask,” Trini reassured her. “I got you.”

Relief relaxed Kim’s features. “Thanks.” 

“Don’t mention it.”

“Yeah. But you can’t go off on her either,” Kim warned. “No matter what she says and if that shitshow earlier was any indication, she might get worse. I mean, if we end up seeing them at all. Who knows?”

“Awww no fair,” Trini complained with an exaggerated whine, just to make Kim smile. It worked. “But I’ll do my best.”

“Me too. Thanks, Trin.”

“No prob.” 

It was almost a physical effort to keep herself from asking Kim about what she was now pretty sure was a lie; the weekend Maddy supposedly visited. There were entire days Kim was virtually unaccounted for and while she wasn’t Kim’s keeper, Trini was concerned. Whatever Kim’s ‘off/bad days’ involved, they were bad enough that she’d felt the need to lie about it. An entire narrative about her mother’s visit involving a movie night and taking a day trip had been created as cover. That was a lot of effort to go to just to avoid the company and going to school.

This was especially true since she’d gone through all that trouble to lie to the one person she didn’t need to lie to; Trini. Of all people, Trini was the one person that if Kim had come to her and said that she was feeling too down or depressed to get out of bed and go to school or to really hang out, at most the Latina might have insisted in hanging out in the house as silent company- just so Kim wasn’t alone. She wouldn’t force Kim to talk or do anything more than provide food and the safety of knowing that there was someone else there in case of emergency. 

Except maybe prevent Kim from drinking all that tequila that one night. Trini would have stepped in then. 

But aside from that, she would have just been there for Kim without judgment.

_ I guess we haven’t reached that understanding yet, _ Trini lamented silently.  _ And right now probably isn’t the best time to press her on it. Not with her parents already throwing her off-balance. I’m going to have to keep an extra close eye on her, make sure that this doesn’t emotionally tailspin her again.  _

_ I’m happy that she’s been feeling better though. And shit! She sees her parents as a trigger! Progress!  _

After kicking off her sneakers, Kim crawled up the bed and slipped under the covers. 

“You gonna nap or study, Princess?” Trini laughed, already knowing the answer. 

“Whatchu think?” Kim answered, burrowing down. “Stress nap.”

Still laughing, Trini set an alarm on her phone, took off her own sneakers, and cuddled down with Kim. “I think I can get with that. Big or little?”

“Hmmm, little.”

Trini gasped. “Really?” It was a rare treat. While she loved it, a lot of the time it meant Kim was upset. Still, Trini wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity. 

“Yes, Big Spoon. Cuddle me.”

The difference in their sizes meant her face only came up to Kim’s shoulder unless the taller girl purposely curled up smaller which she didn’t today, but Trini didn’t mind. She looped her arm over Kim’s waist and pulled her in closer. Never much of a napper, Trini was surprised by how often she fell asleep when Kim did, especially now that her system was alien-supercharged. She didn’t feel tired yet napped alongside Kim more often than not. Today was no different as she fell asleep to the sounds of Kim’s drowsy humming. 

To Kim’s surprise, dinner was ready 2 hours later so the pizza, breadsticks, and chicken wings she’d ordered for her and Trini after they woke up were put away until later. Both her parents were shocked at the amount of food the two teens had ordered but didn’t dwell on it. Mr. Hart was too delighted to see Kim and Trini and to ask them questions about themselves to wonder how they ate that much. And given Kim’s sometime’s ‘picky’ eating habits, he really wasn’t going to question it when the fact that she was eating well was clear in how amazingly healthy she looked.

“Little Bird! Trini! Time for dinner,” he greeted. He got up from his chair and hurried over to pull theirs out and then pushed them in like a gentleman. “What can I get you to drink from the fridge? I’m hoping the green tea is Kimmy’s but I’m going to bet it’s yours.” 

“It is,” Trini admitted, wondering why she was blushing. The Hart side of the family apparently oozed charm effortlessly. “I’ll have one of those but I can get it-” 

“No, you two just sit,” Ted insisted, treating the two as if they were the guests in the house and not the other way around. “Kimmy?”

“It’s Kim, Dad,” the teen reminded him, “not Kimmy. I’ll have a root beer, please.”

“No soda with dinner, Beti,” Maddy said from the nearby kitchen.

Rolling her eyes, Kim huffed. “God, that woman’s ears. The tea is fine.”

“You got this,” Trini whisper-hissed at her when Ted went for the refrigerator. “I’m right here.” 

Kim shot her a grateful smile just as her father returned with their drinks. 

“Trini, do you like Indian food?” he asked as he retook his seat. “I doubt Kimmy’s ever cooked more than a microwave dinner for you,” he laughed. “But my wife is a fantastic cook.”

“If not Kim, someone’s been in my kitchen,” Maddy said as she floated in and put down a few condiments to go with the meal.

“Hey, I cook,” Kim protested. “I’m not completely inept in the kitchen.” 

“I cook too,” Trini confessed. “We take turns.”

“I told you she helps me out with that. Zack does too,” Kim went on. Trini backed down to let Kim handle it. “I eat less fast food that way.”

“Make sure to keep the spices filled and everything clean,” Maddy nodded at Trini and went back into the kitchen.

“Of course,” Trini answered. 

Kim rolled her eyes at being ignored. “I’m not the one who set fire to the kitchen…” she muttered under her breath. 

“It’s good you’re eating fewer takeaways, Kimmy. It’s no wonder you’re looking so good,” Ted smiled. “Trini, you must be a good cook since my Little Bird usually eats like one.” He laughed. 

For a minute, anger flared in Trini’s chest.  _ No, she ate that way because she was bullied about her weight… _ she thought to herself. It was one of the things she’d watched Kim’s old friends tease her about and what helped make the older girl unhealthy. At one point, Amanda and Ty monitored what Kim ate. While it didn’t matter how much or what Kim ate now thanks to Ranger metabolism, hearing Ted make light of Kim’s old ‘picky eating’ habits rubbed Trini’s nerves the wrong way.

A steady look from Kim calmed her.

“Anyway, tonight you’re in for a treat, Trini,” Ted went on unaware. “Maddy is making my favorite dish. It’s one of those old family secret recipes handed down through the generations.” He spoke the last sentence like he was telling a story around a campfire. The root of Kim’s dorky side on full display. 

“Don’t worry,” he went on, “it’s more sweet than spicy. And it’s vegetarian. Honestly, it’s a shame we don’t get to eat Maddy’s cooking more often.”

The two teens unknowingly had the same thought.  _ Spend more time at home, then.  _

“I haven’t had Indian food much but I like it so far when we order it,” Trini responded with a shy smile, “I don’t mind spicy either. My Mom cooks with all sorts of spices, chilies and all that.”

“Oh good. I’m surprised you two order Indian; Kimmy’s been too ‘Americanized’. Between that and growing up in London, she’s not a fan of spicy things,” he chuckled. 

Every time one of Kim’s parents called her ‘Kimmy’ it set Trini’s teeth on edge and she had to work to suppress a twitch. Kim hated the nickname for a lot of reasons but mostly because it was what her old friends called her. Ty, Amanda, and Harper, the other cheerleaders all called her ‘Kimmy’ and after what happened, it turned her stomach to hear it. It didn’t matter that her family had called her by that nickname first, Kim despised it now.

“Oh my God, I complained about a hot curry, once, Dad,” Kim complained. “I was 11 and in India during the summer at the time.” She looked at Trini. “In my defense, my great-grandfather only has like, 2 working tastebuds. If you don’t need a fire extinguisher to eat it, he can’t taste it.” 

Ted laughed but then tilted his head and pouted in the same way Kim did when she was trying to understand something. Ted reminded Trini of a confused golden retriever puppy and like Kim, he looked adorable doing it.

“Sweetie, why aren’t you talking normally? You know your mother and I prefer for you to sound like yourself when we’re home.” He then glanced at Trini and winced. “Or does she not know?” Humorously, he stage-whispered as if Trini wasn’t sitting three feet away from him. She could see where some of Kim’s more eccentric qualities came from and had to work not to smile. Unfortunately, she knew that meant her dimples popped and gave her away.

“She knows,” Kim sighed, her slight British accent now coloring her words. “Just habit, Daddy. You’re never home so I never get the chance to. And please, we’ve talked about this; don’t call me Kimmy.”

“Well, since Trini apparently knows, you should talk correctly in front of her,” her father told her with a wink at Trini. “If she doesn’t mind, of course.”

Trini silently noted that Ted didn’t mention the ‘Kimmy’ issue, silently dismissing his daughter’s request. It irritated her to no end and she had to take a deep breath to maintain her pleasant expression. Then, she looked at Kim and shrugged. “You know I don’t if you’re comfortable.” 

In truth, she loved the way the accent sounded on Kim and wouldn’t mind hearing it more. Plus, knowing that without it she wasn’t being her true self meant another layer that she hid behind and it was Trini’s intention to find a way behind all of them. 

Truth was, she was sliding passed ‘crush’ and into ‘more than a crush’ so fast it was dizzying. The thought that she should maybe be concerned with that crossed her mind but the irresistible pull she felt drawing her to Kimberly, the almost overwhelming magnetic force was too powerful to ignore and honestly, Trini didn’t want to. But she was willing, more than, to go at Kim’s pace. What she imagined they could be together was worth the wait. And even if it didn’t pan out that way, her friendship with Kim was looking to be something special she’d never had with someone before and she felt lucky to have found it. She never wanted to lose it.

“We’ll see,” Kim sighed. “I just don’t want to get out of the habit and slip up in front of others at school.”

“I think you make too big a deal of it,” Maddy interjected as she stepped into the room with a large wooden bowl full of salad, “this shame you have towards your accent. It’s part of who you are and where you were raised. Listen to Trini speak; you don’t change the way you speak in order to fit in or make your life easier, do you, Trini?”

“Uh, not really? I mean, I- no. But I don’t have much of an accent.” Shooting a look at Kim, she silently asked, _ ‘Do I?’  _ She didn’t appreciate the wry quirk of lips and laughing eyes she got in return. 

“See? Trini doesn’t see a need to lie about who she is, why must you?” Maddy shot at Kim as she went back deeper into the kitchen. 

Trini leaned close to Kim and whispered. “Seriously, do I have an accent?” Kim held up her thumb and pointer finger an inch apart indicating ‘just a little’. 

Ted clapped his hands which made both teens jump slightly. “So! Trini! That’s a unique name. Is that short for something?” The question made the tips of Trini's ears burn. She didn't hate her first name, just the story behind it so she figured she'd give Ted an abridged version. 

She shot a look at Kim who was listening intently. Too intently. “Trinidad,” she admitted. “My parents argued between that and Trinity and a few others. Dad won.” 

“That’s a beautiful name. I wanted to name Kim, ‘Mohini’ but Maddy wasn’t having it,” Ted sighed defeatedly. Trini looked at her friend; she couldn’t deny that Mohini was a perfect fit. It didn’t slip by her that he used the right form of his daughter’s name either. “I wanted to call her ‘Mo’ but Mads insisted on Kimberly.”

Maddy appeared from the kitchen again, this time with dinner and a small smile on her face. “Mohini is a beautiful name but Mo is what you name a puppy, not a child. Now, eat.”

Everyone started filling their plates, the clank of cutlery becoming their background music. As promised, it was sweet and delicious. 

“How’s school going, Kim? Are your classes going well?” Ted asked once everyone had started on seconds. Kim shrugged and stabbed at a veggie with a little extra vigor than necessary. 

“Not bad. Same as usual really,” she answered, disinterested. Shoving the food in her mouth, she sent an apologetic look at Trini. “The interrogation begins,” she whispered under her breath.

“Don’t be petulant. Your grade in math slipped several points,” Maddy pointed out. Kim aggressively chewed another mouthful and rolled her eyes. “You need to work harder. You’ve come too far to become lazy and lose focus now.”

“A 97 is still a 4.0 GPA,” Kim explained after swallowing. “I had trouble with the concept. I get it now.” Truth was, she understood the concept; her grade had slipped while they were training to fight Rita. It couldn’t be helped and she honestly didn’t care about 3 tiny points when the entire fate of the Earth was at stake. At one time, she would have cared but not anymore. Anything between 90 and 100 was acceptable. Preferably a 95 or better. Or 97, ideally.

“I’m sure you’ll bring that grade back up before long,” Ted encouraged her. “You’re my genius girl. How are your other classes? What are you looking at taking your Senior year?”

“My other classes aren’t bad. I’m thinking of taking Trig and an advanced English Rhetoric and Composition class next year. If I do, I can take a 200 level English class when I start college instead of the standard 100 level.” 

_ Not that I have much hope of going now that I’m stuck in Angel Grove with a glowing rock weighing me down, _Kim thought bitterly. From the corner of her eye, she saw Trini move to take a sip of tea and her heart softened. _At least I’m stuck with her._

“Are you sure you can handle that level of work?” Maddy asked. 

Nearly choking on her tea, Trini wanted to fling what was left of the drink in the woman’s smug face. The tone she’d asked the question in was beyond insulting and Trini had felt the sting Kim experienced from it. 

“English is my best subject,” Kim reminded her mother, her tone clipped. “I’m taking the most advanced class I can now and it’s boring me. It’s too easy.”

That caused Trini to raise an eyebrow; she knew a few other people in the same class who did nothing but bitch about how hard that AP class was. The workload was heavy, the teacher’s expectations were high and the books they read were thick. No one liked that class but apparently it was a cakewalk for Kim because, of course, it was for her. Even Billy huffed about it sometimes but he enjoyed the challenge. 

“If that’s what you want but I have to ask, what good is an English degree going to do you?” Maddy went on. “I suppose you could teach but they don’t make any money and they don’t get half the respect they’re due. Which is unfortunate.” She paused with a grimace. “Please, tell me that you don’t plan to be one of those dreadful people who spend their lives going to school but never accomplish anything. What a waste. We won’t pay for it.”

Kim gripped her knife so hard it began to bend. Trini put her hand over Kim’s knee below the table as carefully as she could to both calm and warn her of her grip. Thankfully, it eased and the knife was spared. “Can I finish my Junior year and get through my Senior year before we worry about my college major, please?”

“It’s never too early, Beti.”

“How about you Trini?” Ted cut in before his wife and daughter could get into it any further. “How’s the term going for you, if I may ask?”

“Daaaad…” Kim whined. “You’re seriously killing me right now. She’s a guest.”

Wanting to take some of the pressure off her friend, Trini reassured her. “It’s ok, I don’t mind. It’s going well, thanks. Uh, I had a little trouble with History this week but I got it cleared up. I should be back on track.” 

With the abrupt move to Kim’s for a few days and then back home again, a pop-quiz in History caught her unprepared and she’d tanked it. A short and highly edited discussion with the teacher about her situation granted her a do-over scheduled for next week.

“That’s great! Kimmy’s really good with History. It’s her second-best subject. I’m sure she’d love to help you study, one on one. If you’re interested, I bet she is,” the shaggy-haired man suggested, wiggling his eyebrows in an exaggerated manner. 

Kim’s fork scraped against her plate hard making them all wince at the squeak. “Sorry,” she apologized, “Pappa, kr̥pā karīnē.” 

For a moment, the table came to an awkward pause. Trini could guess what Kim had said and she desperately wished Ted would stop teasing his daughter with innuendo about her sexuality. 

Trini didn’t quite know where Kim was on the ‘gay spectrum’ and as much as it killed her not to know, she didn’t feel it was her place to ask or push for an answer.  _ God _ , how she wanted to know but she pushed that  _ want _ down- it wasn’t a  _ need _ and right now, as is, knowing wouldn’t change anything. Not if Trini had her way. 

Kim needed a friend; so did Trini.

Wherever she landed, it was Kim’s story to tell, her journey and it wasn’t up to her parents, Trini, or anyone else to choose the speed in which the Pink Ranger made that journey. If Trini saw Kim in danger of drowning in that dark place that often came with the unknowns of one's sexuality, she would step in and try to help but aside from that, right now this was Kim’s show. If there was a show to be had. 

Thus, Trini hated people who outed other people, however ‘playful’ or ‘innocent’ their intentions. It took control of the situation away from the person and it was a huge sign of disrespect in her eyes. Trini hoped Maddy and Ted didn’t screw it up for their daughter who was trying so hard to be a better person than she once was. 

This new cautiousness was another reason she didn’t broach the subject with Kim. Kim was taking the time to think through most decisions instead of acting impulsively. Trini was proud of her for the obvious growth in character and in the trust-building between them. She wanted to let that grow naturally.

Kim wanted to be a better person; her mature, thoughtful moments showed Trini that she was succeeding. Now Trini wished that the girl’s parents were around enough to see the changes. Maybe then they’d stop treating her like the old Kim who wasn’t there anymore.

Thankfully, at Kim’s desperate plea her father put his hands up in surrender. “As you wish, Little Bird. I’m sorry. You’re right, that was a little too far.” He looked at Trini, contrite. “I apologize to you as well. I overstepped. I’m sorry.” Trini nodded. 

“English, Kimmy, don’t be rude,” Maddy ordered. “You need to work on your pronunciation, that was abysmally poor. Trini, dear, why don’t you tell us about your family?’ The woman pivoted better than a ballerina. “Beti, don’t argue. We don’t know who your new friends are; I think we have a right to ask.” Kim sunk down in her seat with a defeated sigh. 

“I’m sorry,” she told Trini. “You don’t have to tell them anything you don’t want to. Or you can just go upstairs.” 

“We’re just showing interest, don’t act so put out.”

Trini was angrier for the sad look on Kim’s face and over their link than any thoughts about an invasion of her privacy. She decided that for Kim, who’d accidentally walked into having her parents exposing some of her most private feelings, she would tell the Harts some of her own info and share the burden with Kim.

“My parents live on the Westside with my two little brothers, Mateo and Diego-they’re 7-year-old twins, almost 8. My Mom, June, works in social services and my Dad, Miguel, is a contractor. We used to move around a lot for his job but they promised me that I’d get to graduate here.”

“Where else have you lived?” Ted asked, interested. Trini was unused to seeing an adult expressing genuine interest to her at a dinner table. Her mother was more interested in interrogating her and finding fault in her answers while until recently, her father had no idea how to fix the situation thus he typically said nothing. Ted seemed to really want to know.

“Uh… LA, Ohio, Maryland, Florida, Texas, and here. I really enjoyed Maryland, honestly,” she offered, smiling at Kim who looked like she wanted the floor to open up and swallow her but smiled weakly back when she saw Trini gazing at her. “The East Coast is different than the West or Florida/Gulf Coast. They’re all good, just different. I was really little so I might have just liked still being an only child.”

“That’s interesting. Have you ever been to Mexico?” Maddy asked. Trini searched the woman’s tone for hidden meanings but it seemed like a sincere question. Given the way people were acting towards immigrants and DACA recipients, she found it a tad ironic that Maddy was asking since the only US citizens at the table were herself and Kim.

“A few times, mostly for weddings and funerals. Most of my Dad’s family is in California and my Mom’s is in Texas so it’s the older and extended family down there.”

“It’s terrible what’s going on with the border,” Maddy said hotly, surprising Trini. “Makes me sick.” The woman’s obvious disgust eased some of the Latina’s dislike towards her; Maddy’s face was genuinely angry. “These people are just looking for a better life.”

“America is supposed to be the land of opportunity,” Ted agreed. “They should be allowed to try to succeed as anyone else.”

Eyes widening, Maddy looked at Trini. “I hope you know I wasn’t implying anything about your family,” she said, suddenly much warmer in personality. “I’m simply disgusted with what’s going on.”

“I understand,” Trini replied honestly. “No offense taken. It’s horrible.”

“Indeed. Isn’t it interesting how people end up where we end up?” Ted wondered, excited. “Look at us! We all started at different points all over the world but here we all are! Sitting at the same table in tiny little Angel Grove. Amazing!”

The two teens looked at each other and chuckled, both thinking of other places and events that brought them to this moment; mine cave-ins, ancient power coins, spaceships, and giant robots to name a few. It would blow Ted Hart’s mind to know exactly what his daughter and her best friend had been through to be there.

“How are things going at home?” Maddy asked with more sensitivity than Trini had expected. 

“Uh, better so far,” she hedged since she hadn’t been back home very long. “It’s still a bit awkward but my Mom swears that the whole thing was a huge misunderstanding.” There was still a bitter bite to Trini’s voice hinting at her lingering resentment. The fear she felt despite all the reassurances was well-hidden unless you were linked to the teen through an empathic tie.

It was barely a whisper but Kim felt the lack of trust Trini had towards June Gomez. It was too bad because June had done it to herself, however inadvertently through her own ignorance. It was going to take a long time to repair the damage she’d done. 

“Well, just so you know that you have someplace to go if it’s not,” Ted said seriously. “Or if things get worse. Kim gave you keys so this is your house too now. We’re serious about that. You’re more than welcome to it.”

Trini shifted in her seat both uncomfortable and overwhelmed. The juxtaposition between the Harts being horribly neglectful parents to Kim and the Harts being wonderfully open and welcoming people to her was throwing Trini for a loop that left her unable to form a response.

She shot a guilty look at her best friend expecting to see anger or something similar on Kim’s face and to feel jealousy over their link but instead she saw a smile and felt only a light happiness that Trini was accepted by Maddy and Ted. There was a sense of relief behind both of Kim’s reactions. 

The feeling translated in Trini’s mind to  _ At least they like one of us _ . 

Maddy’s thick accent brought Trini’s attention back to her. “Yes, by all means, bring some life into this house since Kimberly lives like a subterranean hermit,” Maddy teased a bit, lightening up. “She used to be so lively; she went out all the time, spent time in the sunshine. Now she stays shut up in this huge drafty house. Drag her out of it, Trini. Force her to have a social life again. It will look better on her transcripts.”

“Hey, still in the room,” Kim complained. “And she’s a homebody too!”

Maddy eyed the Latina for a moment. “No, Beti, Trini has a family. Spend some time with them, with her brothers. Get out more.”

For a moment, Kim opened her mouth likely to say something to match the shade of red she’d turned at the ‘family’ comment but a bolt of warning from Trini over the link made her snap her jaw shut. 

“Not my fault I’m an only child…” she grumbled.

“Ah, that one is on us, Little Bird,” Ted laughed nervously, trying to disarm the tension his wife created. “Such a shame really. But, Trini, I want you to feel at home here so pick a room, any room - that’s not spoken for of course, and make it your own. Once you’ve got a bedroom, if you’re interested in another space for your art, feel free.”

“How… I mean,” Trini started, “I don’t mean to be like, rude or ungrateful or anything, please don’t think that but you barely know me. Kim barely knows me, really. We’ve only been friends since the beginning of the school year. Why… how do you already know you can trust me when you never trusted her old friends after they’d been friends for years?”

The table went quiet. Trini looked over to Kim to see if she’d stepped out of line too far or anything but Kim just shrugged and eyed her back curiously.

“A hunch?” Ted shrugged much the same as Kim did. He gestured towards Kim. “What Kim’s said in her emails and phone calls. Talking to your father, who seems like a pretty great guy by the way. He loves you very much.”

Trini blushed and ducked her head. “You talked to him?”

“A few times. We both did,” he confirmed. “Of course, he wanted to make sure you were welcome to stay here and that you were safe. We reassured him that you were always welcome here. He offered us payment but we refused.”

“That sounds like Dad,” Trini smiled shyly. “We’re really proud and don’t like to take advantage.”

“You weren’t. I’m fairly sure you couldn’t. To be quite frank, to look at Kimmy and to see her look so healthy right now, that’s payment enough,” Maddy said honestly. “We know you have a big hand in that.”

Kim grinned at Trini; that was an incredible compliment from her mother and unexpected.

“I look good?” Kim echoed.

“You look healthy and it’s a nice improvement. However, don’t fish for compliments, it’s unbecoming,” Maddy chided. 

“Yes, Mama.” Despite the scolding, a tiny smile lingered on Kim’s face. 

_ Christ, compliment in one breath and backhand her across the face with the next, _ Trini thought.  _ I’m getting tired trying to keep up. No wonder Kim’s emotions bounce around like Tigger on meth when I can sense them. _

“I just make sure she eats something other than donuts,” she said instead of something snarky. “And I can’t thank you enough for letting me stay here, for everything really. I barely had to ask and you all opened your home. Thank you so, so much. With everything that was happening, it was something less to stress about.”

“You’re very welcome, any time,” Ted reiterated. 

“Thanks,” Trini repeated. “And…” She hated being vulnerable. “It-it was probably easier not being somewhere different or strange and having Kim around.” She shrugged. 

“Probably! And I like that you’re keeping Little Bird company. Our old misanthrope.” Ted playfully elbowed his daughter.

“Daaaad,” Kim whined.

“Also, Trini, your father knows that you were offered keys and that you now have a safe place in case, Heaven forbid, things ever escalate at home,” Maddy informed the teen. Trini looked surprised. “He doesn’t like the thought of your mother pushing you so far again but he couldn’t dismiss the possibility either. He feels better knowing that you have someplace safe.”

“So when Kim asked us about giving you a set of keys, we discussed it with Miguel first,” Ted continued the explanation. “Once we talked it through with him, he was on board with it.”

Trini looked at her friend, secretly delighted that it was  _ Kim _ who wanted her to have the keys in the first place. It meant that the offer wasn’t only about having a safe place if she was thrown out of her home, it was more than that. It wasn't even that it was her crush offering her keys to her home. The keys represented Kim reaching out to her, they mean that Kim wanted her around and wanted company instead of always being alone. The keys were them as a team; Kim and Trini, Pink and Yellow. They had each other’s backs, they were there for each other even if no one else was. 

The keys were Kim letting her in.

“I like having you around but I hope it doesn’t come to that,” Kim told her sincerely. Loneliness echoed behind the words.

It left Trini wishing she could duplicate herself so that she could stay at home and be with Kim, too. 

“Me too,” was all she could say.

“Now, Kim,” Maddy began to change the subject. As she did so, her tone changed. “It’s nearly time to start looking at early application to colleges. I’m worried that your disciplinary record may present an issue when you go to apply to your first choices. Have you put any thought into what to do about that?”

The expression on Kim’s face showed that she was caught completely off guard. “Uh, like what?”

Ted stepped in. “Just be ready to explain yourself, sweetie.”

“Although I do question how you could possibly explain your behavior away in a satisfactory way,” Maddy shook her head in disgust. 

“Maybe if you frame it more as an underdog or redemption story,” Trini suggested to Kim with a bold dirty look at Maddy. “Since you’re not like that anymore.”

The downtrodden expression on Kim’s face lifted for a moment. “Hey, I didn’t think of that.”

“That’s if you don’t step in another hot cow pie before then,” Ted laughed. 

“This isn’t funny, dear,” Maddy shushed him. Ted sank down in his seat and his ears turned red.

_ Guess I know who wears the pants and swings the dick between the two, _ Trini thought to herself. 

“Please tell me you haven’t been in any more trouble?” Maddy asked Kim in a tired, put-upon tone. 

Unable to hold her tongue any longer, Kim snarked back. “Well, Mom, it’s been a struggle but somehow I’ve managed not to rob any banks, push over any old ladies, or steal any candy from babies.” 

Maddy said something impatiently in Gujarati. 

Kim glared at her. “Oh, but I did burn down that church and kicked a kid’s puppy last week, though. I forgot about that slip up. Tuesday was a rough one.” 

Trini had to bite the inside of her lip to keep from laughing at the bored tone to Kim’s voice and the way Maddy’s face twisted in annoyance. She’d promised to keep Kim from going off but they were both only human-alien enhanced or not and hearing Kim mouth-off to her mother was childishly satisfying. Trini didn’t want to stop her, not really. 

“Honestly, Kimberly, I don’t understand why you act like this,” Maddy complained with an exasperated sigh. “I’m only concerned about your future and you act like a spoiled brat.” 

Kim opened her mouth to escalate the argument but then remembered Trini was sitting there and deflated. That was a shitshow she didn’t want her friend to see.

“Sorry,” Kim sighed. “I haven’t been in trouble, no. I’d have told you.”

“Good for you!” Ted cheered, trying to break some of the oppressive awkwardness that hung around them.

“Yeah, thanks,” Kim said absently. Trini could see the older teen’s eyes becoming distant as she started ‘checking out’ of the moment; she started looking for ways to excuse them both back to Kim’s room. 

“Yes, I haven’t heard anything from the school indicating otherwise,” Maddy confirmed. 

_ Then why did you ask? _ Ripped through Trini’s mind, full of contempt for the woman.  _ You were trying to set her off, you bitch! You got your reaction! Happy now?  _

It took effort but Trini made sure that her facial expression stayed pleasant and didn’t reflect any of the anger she felt.

“I don’t mean to be cold, Beti, and I realize you have company over right now but college is important,” Maddy went on a little softer. “And you know that we’re not taking care of you once you’re 18 and graduate high school. If you’re not in college, you’ll need to have a job and to find a place to live.”

This time, Trini knew her stone face cracked slightly.  _ I’m welcome to the house but ‘get the fuck out when you hit 18, Kim’? What the hell? You are messed up, Lady! _

“I know,” Kim acquiesced. “I’m taking it seriously.” Or as much as she could given her new status as a Power Ranger. She wasn’t too worried about where she could live after she turned 18; the Ship had plenty of room. As for money, she had some saved and she knew that in a pinch she could find work. 

Just because her parents couldn’t comprehend running a register or working at Krispy Kreme didn’t mean Kim didn’t. The money was still green and spent the same way and it didn’t mean she’d have that job forever. But she had no hope of explaining any of it to them.

“That’s good, Little Bird. Just keep doing your best,” Ted told her gently. He and Maddy then exchanged a look. 

Kim sat up in her seat and looked back and forth between her parents, a sense of dread entering her. “What?” she asked, challenged. “You’ve both got that look.”

“Sweetie…” Ted started and glanced at Trini.

“I can go upstairs…” Trini started.

Maddy shook her head. “No, it’s alright. Stay.”

_ Kim might disagree _ , Trini thought hotly. 

“Come on,” Kim whined. “What is it? We’re not moving are we?” she asked suddenly. 

Her mother frowned. “What sense does it make for us to open our home to Trini if we’re planning to move? That makes no sense. Think before you speak, Kimberly.”

“Sorry,” Kim ducked her head. 

“Be reasonable; no one has died,” Maddy finished her chastising. Kim nodded mutely. “Now, I’m very sorry to do this but your father and I won’t be able to return for Diwali in a week or so.” 

Kim seemed to shrink even further into her seat and what felt like a donkey kick hit Trini in the chest through the empathic link.

“What? Why?” Kim squeaked. Her eyes were wide and her jaw hung open. 

“I’m sorry we can’t be here, Little Bird,” Ted apologized sadly, his own eyes wet. “There’s this important procedure we’re getting ready to do together and we need extra time to prep…”

“But… it-it’s Diwali!” Kim sputtered.

Just barely, and only because of the way the alterations to her body had enhanced her vision, Trini could see the way Kim’s bottom lip quivered before she bit down on it to stop it.

“Beti, hopefully, we’ll be able to stop in for Christmas this year instead,” Maddy tried to soothe. Her tone was softer but Trini would feel how useless it was as the pain in Kim’s chest was like acid burning through. It bloomed and spread out like blood from a deep wound.

“I-it’s just…it’s Diwali,” Kim repeated, crushed. “It’s _our_ thing, _our_ holiday!”

“Little Bird, you know we’d never do something like this to you unless it was an emergency,” Ted explained solemnly. “We just got the case recently. Our patients are two beautiful little baby girls who will die very soon without this surgery. They’re on borrowed time already, honey. We have to hurry; our window of time is very small,” he ran a hand through his hair much the same way Kim did when she was stressed. 

“Dad…”

“I’m afraid that this one time, something is bigger than you,” Ted told her remorsefully. 

All of the meditation and anger management techniques that Trini had learned over the years were put into use at the Hart kitchen table. She couldn’t believe what Ted had just said and was grateful she’d perfected her indifferent facial expression since it masked her absolute fury from showing on her face.

But Ted’s words had hit Kim like a bullet to the heart.

“These children aren’t as fortunate as you are,” Maddy added.

And those words finished the neglected teen off.

The brunette cleared her throat a few times trying to get her voice under control and not let it give away how devastated she was by their decision. “Yeah, uhm… o-ok, I get it. Uh… I’m sorry. Yeah… you guys wouldn’t uh, skip Diwali unless it was an emergency. I understand,” Kim smiled weakly at her Dad. It was a poor attempt that didn’t reach her eyes or do anything to chase away the pain and hurt that was written on her face. 

Trini could feel how much of a lie that smile really was as the waves of hurt disappointment rolled off Kim and into the Grid. Whatever Diwali was, her parents missing it was absolutely devastating to her. Trini had to bite her lip to keep from crying in sympathy. There was a scream just under the surface, locked behind Kim’s perfect teeth that Trini was shocked she could hold in.

“I really am sorry,” Maddy offered and Trini genuinely believed her. 

_ But if you really cared, you wouldn’t skip Diwali, _ Trini added sourly to herself. 

“Yeah, no, I get it,” Kim cleared her throat again and nodded. “Gotta go save the world. It’s what you do.” Trini arched an eyebrow at the choice in phrasing but said nothing. “We have homework to do before the weekend starts; can we be excused?- May we?” 

“Thank you. Of course, clear the table and put the dishes in the dishwasher,” her mother told her. 

“I’ll say goodbye before I have to go, Little Bird,” Ted told her cheerfully as if he hadn’t just watched a near-miss nuclear showdown between her and his wife or decimated his daughter’s hopes and expectations without much of an afterthought. 

Kim nodded and with Trini’s help, cleared the table before disappearing upstairs.

  
  



	20. After Dinner Hart-burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trini and Kim talk after dinner. It turns out that they view what occurred and why very differently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TAGS: Language, mental health issues, bad coping skills, bad parenting, bad Spanish, bad grammar.  
ENJOY!!  
*  
Sorry, I'm a little late. This last week has been... different. I know we're all literally dealing with the same thing right now, COVID-19. I am hoping that you all stay safe and healthy during this scary and difficult time. I hope that despite the angst built into this story that I can offer some little bit of escape from what's going on even if it's just for a few minutes at a time.
> 
> But, things aren't going easily for me. I'm currently healthy and being careful by staying in as much as possible. But I'm disabled, haven't been able to find work, and have a compromised immune system so I'm sort of in the orange danger zone. I also live with elderly and disabled family members. So I'm not sure if a weekly update schedule is feasible right now. 
> 
> I will do my best to keep you informed if/when I have to skip an update.

Sitting up against the headboard of Kim’s bed with her notebook on her lap, Trini couldn’t concentrate on studying. When she tried, all the words blended together and her head filled with the voices from dinner. She was reeling, stuck replaying everything in her head. On some level, it hadn’t seemed real and yet, on another, it explained so much about her best friend.

Since she’d been caught by surprise, Kim’s ability to quiet her end of the Ranger link had been weak at best and she’d been more emphatically open than usual. What she’d felt was a mess of negativity and longing that made Trini’s throat tight. The teen had fluctuated between happiness and hurt, joy and despair numerous times which couldn’t be healthy in any way. Trini was concerned with what the consequences were going to be once the ‘visit’ was over. 

Along with that, Trini had to process her own feelings about Mr. and Mrs. Hart and right now her feelings were not overly favorable.

Maddy Hart was a snobby, mean-girl version of an unreasonable mother with high expectations. She was the kind of parent who complimented her daughter in one breath while insulting or backhanding her with the next. So far, Trini didn’t like her or trust her and it was clear that the woman was at least one of the reasons for Kim's self-esteem and self-worth issues- if not the main source itself. Maddy seemed to get enjoyment from taking the wind out of Kim’s sails and making sure her daughter’s feet are firmly planted in the mud.

Yet, Kim had sought out and soaked up every tiny drop of attention the older woman gave her, like a sponge desperate for water in the desert. Each iota evaporated as fast as she could get it.

Ted Hart was a friendly and goofy guy but he was too passive in the face of his wife’s poor treatment of Kim. While her own father Miguel hadn’t been much better, he’d never let June talk down to Trini the way Maddy did to Kim; he never would have stood for it. He certainly never would have tried to joke it away or teased her the way that Ted did. Ted acted more like an older brother than a father to Kim.

_ If that’s the way he’s always dismissed how her Mom treats her no wonder Kim doesn’t care about what happens to her, either. Jesus Christ. _

Ted was just as at fault for Kim’s issues as Maddy was and Trini wanted to slap them both across the face and scream at them, ask them if they had any clue what they were doing- what they had done to Kim. But she was pretty sure their answers would only make her angrier. Maddy already felt that they’d provided the finest of everything Kim could have ever desired; there would be no changing someone so set in the belief that they were right. Ted wasn’t any better. They were clearly too blind to see what they were missing in overlooking their own child.

In contrast to how she was with her mother, Kim swam in the flood of attention her father gave her no matter how much she tried to downplay it. Or how little he did to defend her when Maddy got going. But, he showered her in love with physical touch, facial expression, tone of voice, and in the things he did that lifted her up. 

His hugs in greeting, his comments on how healthy (not _ skinny _ , not _ pretty _) she looked. Healthy, good. How he acknowledged Trini’s hand in that. 

His comments complimenting her like, _ “... my genius girl…” _

The hair ruffling. His immediate liking and easy friendship with Trini, kidding with her like she was an old friend. 

His sincere apology for overstepping a boundary and his attempts at remembering to call her Kim and not Kimmy. He slipped but he started to try.

He let Maddy get away with too much but his love was much more obvious. 

The way the two approaches differed was disorienting and Trini wondered how Kim balanced it. Until she realized that her friend probably didn’t; she never had a chance to.

_ She doesn’t have to, they’re never here. But fuck, drought or drown. That’s messed up. _

Kim was lying further down across the bed on her stomach, actually studying as if nothing had happened. 

_ Please tell me that’s not so usual for her that she’s not phased _, Trini sighed sadly. 

Kim had her earphones on and occasionally tapped the eraser end of her pencil on her notebook along with the tempo of the song playing. Compared to Trini, she was halfway through her assignment and apparently much better at compartmentalizing.

Trini had a good idea how she was managing to ignore everything and it worried her; the way Kim’s eyes had dulled at the end of dinner had been a dead-giveaway. 

That vacant look that came to Kim’s eyes was something that Trini hated. Lively chocolate eyes went dull like mud on a cloudy day and no matter how hard she tried to engage Kim in those moments (hours), the older girl just wasn’t ‘there’. Her answers were lackluster, her laughter hollow, and the spark that made Kim who she was, was somehow muted. 

After she became familiar with it, Trini secretly named it Kim’s ‘out of order’ face. It meant that something had pushed Kim too far so she had mentally checked-out and was no longer working properly, so to speak. Rather than cope with whatever it was, she was choosing to ignore it and suppress it until it presumably went away. It happened more at the beginning of term when she was more easily triggered by her old friends than it did now. It hadn’t exactly gone away; Kim still disconnected these days but Trini was seeing it less and less. 

But today, Kim’s parents had triggered it. That was doubly cruel, in Trini’s opinion.

Trini recognized the expression and what motivated it because she did the same thing, disconnected with what was going on around her when it became too much. Problem was, it didn’t help with anything because the problem was still there when she checked back in. It didn’t matter how angry she became or how indifferent she pretended to be, nothing changed unless she faced whatever was bothering her.

It was going to be the same way for Kim. 

But for all Trini knew, what she witnessed might be Kim’s normal and why the girl developed that particular defense mechanism in the first place. That thought turned their delicious dinner sour in the pit of Trini’s stomach. 

_ I can’t keep coming back to that, it just pisses me off. _

Her phone buzzed and broke her out of her circling train of thought. Picking it up, she frowned; it was Jason.

**DON’T CALL ME BOSS**

Hey. What’s up?

** POKEMON SUN**

Nothing. Wbu? 

Looking at the screen blasting ‘Pokemon Sun’ at her again made Trini shake her head.

**DON’T CALL ME BOSS**

Nothing much

Just checking in

_ You’re not subtle _ , Trini snickered to herself. _ But smart of you to check with me first and not Kim. _

** POKEMON SUN**

I’m fine. Same shit etc

**DON’T CALL ME BOSS**

Cool

U talked 2 Kim tonight?

Trini smiled understanding that he was texting because of the emotional rollercoaster that must have come over their shared link during dinner. 

She sent him a quick message explaining that she was with Kim and that it was a surprise Hart family dinner talk about college that had sent so much emotional traffic into the Grid. Despite that, she told him, the two of them were fine. It was true enough but also vague enough to protect Kim’s privacy. Although what Trini saw Kim needing protection from the most was her parents, not their friends knowing how terrible her parents were. 

Jason wrote back that he understood and that he and Zack and Billy were there if they needed them.

_ I think we’re gonna need you to help fill out some room in Kim’s chosen family _ , Trini answered the text silently in her head after she put the phone down. _ Because her parents aren’t gonna cut it and she needs more than me. I’m pretty sure those losers will love and jump at the idea. They love her. _

Settling back down, she took out her textbook and tried again but Trini kept finding her attention drawn back to her friend and what she’d witnessed at dinner. She couldn’t shake it.

A little while later, Kim moved her earphones down. “You’re staring.” 

Startled from her stare Trini stammered, “H-huh?”

“You’re staring at the side of my face,” Kim clarified with a tap to her cheek but without looking up from her text. “Is there sauce on my cheek? Am I getting a pimple? Or are you brooding?”

Trini paused. She decided to be honest and see where it went. “Brooding, I guess.”

Kim let out a long hum. “I figured,” she smirked. “Pequeña Batman.” 

“Haha,” Trini replied flatly. “I’m not gonna even start the ‘masculine versus feminine’ discussion with you…” 

“Pequeña, pequeño; tomato, tomato,” Kim uttered absently in response making virtually no sense to Trini but amusing herself. She then let out a bark of laughter.

“What?” Trini asked suspiciously.

“Nothing, just imagining you in the bat-suit and cape, crouched over a gargoyle staring out over Angel Grove being all broody and dark,” Kim explained with an unladylike snort.

Trini crossed her arms over her chest defensively. “Find me a gargoyle in Angel Grove,” she challenged. Kim’s laughter grew. “What’s so funny about that?” She thought she’d look pretty badass.

Kim took a second or two; she couldn’t bring herself to look at Trini. The image was silly but at the same time, something about it was attractive. Magnetic. 

_ That exquisite jawline outlined in the cowl… _Kim’s mind wandered a moment.

“Nothing. It fit too well,” she finally managed to answer. 

“Uh-huh,” Trini huffed back, not believing her. “It better not be a height thing cuz I’m not some sidekick; I ain’t Robin…”

_ The tiny green Under-Roos, the yellow cape, red vest with green sleeves… _

It was more than 5 minutes before Kim was able to stop laughing and explain to a confused and then unamused Trini what had her face down in her notebook in hysterics.

“Really?” Trini questioned dryly. A small smirk pulled at her lips though.

“I couldn’t help it,” Kim hiccupped and wiped at her eyes. “You said ‘Robin’ and…” she snort-laughed, “I thought of the leotard…. I lost it.”

With a quirked eyebrow, “Are you finished?” Trini challenged. 

“Ahhh, yeah, I think so,” she giggled. “That tiny little mask. Ha! Thanks for the laugh,” Kim sighed out. “I needed that after that shitshow earlier.” 

Shocked Kim brought it up first, Trini carefully picked up the thread. “I’m sorry, that was… wow. Is it, uh, is it always like that?”

Kim shrugged, picked up her pencil and went back to her text. “Eh,” she uttered non-committedly.

Trini blinked a few times in confusion, shocked that she wasn’t getting an actual answer. 

“What? That’s it? You’re not gonna give me a real answer?” Immediately she could have kicked herself when Kim’s body language tightened slightly. 

“Hmmm…” Kim hummed back. 

“Kim…”

“I’m sorry.”

Trini frowned. “What- That’s not what I meant. And you don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

“Yeah, well, I am.”

“What for?”

“You really do have an accent.”

Thrown completely off, Trini could only stare at her in confusion for several seconds. To her credit, Kim didn’t break; she kept her nose in her book and her face blank. She even jotted down a few notes in her notebook.

Finally, Trini’s vocal abilities kicked back in. “I do not!”

“That argument didn’t work with me and it won’t work with you, either” Kim smirked, her own accent coming back out. 

A sock-covered toe poked at Kim’s side. “What accent? I don’t have an accent. Do I? Come on!” Trini insisted, poking her some more. 

Kim rolled up to avoid the prodding toe and thought for a moment. “A bit, sure.”

“WHAT?” Trini squeaked. “I do not! I mean, I don’t hear it. What does it sound like?”

“It’s hard to pin down. It’s an American accent but not like a Southern one or Midwestern. Or a nasally one from around New York or New England.” As Kim said each one, she switched to as close to that accent as she could get. “It’s hard to explain and sometimes it’s more the way you speak than…” 

She paused.

“‘Look at this lil motherfucker over here creepin’ on me’…” she mimicked the beginnings of a rant Trini had gone on when she’d encountered a small harmless lizard in her shower stall on the Ship. 

Alpha still didn’t know how she got in there. Electra now belonged to Billy who theorized she came in through the Zord cave.

The Latina’s mouth hung open. Kim had lowered and added a rasp to her voice to make it as similar as possible; it was fairly impressive.

“You little mimic!” she accused. “Are you trying to say that I sound ghetto?” It was an insult that the cheer squad, although never Kim, had used against her in the past.

It looked like that memory flashed into Kim’s mind as her eyes grew and she shook her head. “What? No! Not like that. Is that how I made you sound? Shit, I didn’t mean to. I just meant you’re so much more relaxed and informal than I am. There’s a drawl to your words but as I said, it’s not Southern.” 

“Oh ok,” Trini acquiesced. “That little lizard _ was _ creeping on me.” She didn’t like reptiles that much, at least not in her shower. It had… _ blinked _ at her. “You sounded like you had a sore throat and a head cold, too.” 

“You do sometimes, especially first thing in the morning.”

“That’s true. Mama took me to all sorts of throat specialists when I was younger to make sure there was nothing wrong with my voice,” Trini recalled. “There’s not; it’s just my voice.”

“I like it,” Kim smiled. “Sorry if I offended you there.”

“Yeah for a sec there, ya kinda did.”

“Sorry,” Kim frowned but Trini brushed it off. “I only meant that you’ve moved around so much that you don’t have any single accent, just a blend.”

“Nice save,” Trini remarked with a nod, letting her off the hook. “I’m not sure your mother meant the same thing, though.” 

Kim winced. “I’m not sure, either. I mean, _ she _ might have meant you sound ghetto but she might not.”

“Real winner you got there…” Trini growled.

“She just has a thing for how a person speaks,” Kim said quickly in a half-hearted attempt at defending her mother, “and probably has a count of how many ‘uhs, ahs, and ers’ you and I both used when talking.” 

“Yeesh.” _ You’ve got to be kidding. No wonder Kim sometimes sounds like an android or something when she gets really upset. _

Since discovering Kim was hiding a British accent, Trini had started hearing more of the older teen’s vocal tells. When Kim’s speech pattern became overly formal and her American accent became a little too perfect, too clipped and enunciated it told Trini that the brunette’s emotions were running high, possibly swinging wildly. It wasn’t a perfect science; Trini was still learning. But she was getting better at reading Kim’s vocal tics when the Ranger link was muted. 

“Yeah… oh, she counts ‘yeahs’, too. Thankfully she only gets on me for that one when she’s being pissy or I have an interview for something coming up, like when I was younger and got interviewed for gymnastics or at school. Then, it was more important.”

“You talk more formal with the accent,” Trini pointed out.

“Formally,” Kim corrected her cheekily. Trini stuck her tongue out. “But that’s probably because I’m so used to separating the two ways of speaking, ‘Murican and posh British boarding school.”

Laughing, Trini poked her again. “Neither of us speaks ‘Murican, we’re too smart. Maybe if you keep using the British accent with me you’ll loosen up?” 

A gentle smile pulled at Kim’s lips. “You just like my accent,” she teased, “and want an excuse for me to use it.”

Despite herself, Trini blushed. “Fah, you wish.” She tried to poke with her toe again but Kim grabbed her foot and started tickling it. Trini giggled and kicked out, sending their books flying.

“Stoooop!” Trini laughed as they batted at each other for a minute. Kim giggled and evaded Trini’s hands before she let go and rolled out of reach. 

“Cheater,” Trini panted, adjusting her socks which had almost slid off. 

“You were poking me with them! That was self-defense!” Kim protested between guffaws. Her smile was bright and wide. 

“A likely story,” Trini replied as she collected their notebooks before resettling against the headboard again. “You’re a sneaky one, Hart.”

Kim stuck out her tongue and moved to sit up against her headboard with Trini. 

“Just so you know, for you I’ll keep the accent,” she joked. “But only around you when we’re alone. And like I said, don’t tell the guys.”

“I swear I won’t,” Trini promised, delighted. Her delight tripled when Kim moved closer and put her head on the younger girl’s shoulder as she reopened her text to read. 

They stayed like that for a while until Trini’s stomach growled. Without saying anything, Kim leaned over to the bedside table, opened the bottom drawer and pulled out a huge bag of Ranch Doritos, a favorite of theirs to share. Trini grunted thanks and ripped into it. 

She was a little pissed at herself for not addressing what was bothering her but Kim was nothing if not distracting. And the older teen was an expert at deflecting the conversation off of herself without Trini even noticing until it was too late.

Like she just did by inverting Trini’s question about her parent’s behavior into a tickle fight over Trini’s ‘accent’.

_ Fuck me, she’s good. Damn, _Trini swore at herself. A small nagging part of her mind wondered if Kim was aware that she did it or if it was automatic. 

They were almost done with the bag of chips when Kim’s parents knocked on her door.

“Beti, we’re going to bed and wanted to say goodnight,” her mother announced as they walked in. “Oh good, you’re studying.”

Trini’s nose wrinkled; they gave Kim no time to respond to the knocking or any hope for privacy and had barged right in. Another party foul in her opinion.

“On a Friday? That’s no fun!” Ted told them, highlighting a huge difference between Kim’s two main influences. 

“If we do it now then we can just relax all weekend,” Kim told him sagely. “Besides, we’re the ‘staying in’ sort anyway, remember?”

“That’s good; you usually end up in trouble otherwise,” Maddy tsked. 

Trini had to bite her tongue; she nearly said _ “oh for fuck’s sake” _ out loud. “Not really,” she managed to keep her tone even. “Kim usually keeps the rest of us from doing dumb stuff. Except Billy; he never gets into trouble.” It wasn’t the truth but God damn it Trini had had enough. “The two of them just went to this huge swap meet over in Midcity Thursday and…”

“Hey, Little Bird, you are getting out!” Ted announced happily. “That’s great! Did you have a good time?” He was genuinely interested.

Maddy looked surprised at this news.

“Y-yeah, he was supposed to go with Jason but Jay got busy so I took him,” Kim filled her parents in. “We had a great time. We ate at all these food trucks and Billy introduced me to a bunch of his friends.”

“So you are going out and meeting people. That is nice, Kimberly,” Maddy agreed with her husband. “And spending time with William Cranston is a good choice too. I was glad to see you mention him as one of your new friends as well.”

Again, Trini could literally watch the effects Maddy’s words had on her daughter in a physical way. Kim sat up straighter, her eyes brightened and it just seemed like the taller girl was… bigger, stronger in presence than she was moments before despite already possessing a good deal of natural presence. Confidence and pride intertwined with happiness and excitement over the empathic link.

Trini braced herself for the inevitable backhand that she had no doubt was coming Kim’s way.

“We’ll have to see about the rest of your friends,” Maddy finished. 

Trini hoped it stayed that anticlimactic. 

“It’s been really nice to meet you both,” she told them, using the manners that were drilled into her to finish making as good a first impression as she could. 

If she wanted to be friends with Kim, she needed the Harts to like her. And if she wanted to help Kim in the ways she was starting to think the older girl needed, Trini needed them to be as enamored with her as possible. She couldn’t let them suspect that she was trying to teach their daughter that she had more value than they ever treated her with.

“Oh absolutely for us too,” Ted agreed. “Kim said you were pretty awesome in her emails and I’m glad to see that she's right. So far.” He winked.

“Daaad,” Kim whined and smacked herself in the face with her college-ruled notebook. Trini wordlessly took the notebook out of her hands and put it on the other side of herself where Kim couldn’t reach. Kim pouted.

“It’s the truth. Trini, thanks for spending your time with Kim and keeping her straight,” Ted said sincerely. He watched their silent exchange in amusement.

“Yeah, no problem,” Trini said wryly. A small pang hit her in the chest at the reminder that Kim could possibly, maybe but maybe not be straight. Although Ted’s teasing at dinner was sending mixed signals in all directions and she didn’t think it was fair of him to screw around the way he did.

Kim pretended to sneeze to hide a snort. From the corner of her vision, Trini eyed her at the reaction. Then she wondered if Ted was trolling her or them both.

“Bless,” Maddy ruffled Kim’s hair. “Sleep well, both of you. I’ll see you before I leave in the morning.”

“I’ll wake you before I go,” Ted told Kim. 

“Great, thanks,” Kim nodded. She got up and followed them to the door. “Love you.”

“Love you too, Little Bird.”

“Love you. Don’t stay up late, don’t fool around, and don’t forget to do your extra credit!” Maddy called as Kim shut the door.

“Yes, Mama. Night.” Kim turned around and pressed her back to the door. 

Trini tilted her head and swallowed. “Uh… Don’t fool around? Did she mean…?”

“I dunno, maybe? Possibly, who knows?” Kim sighed. 

Trini decided to try again. “Is that how it always is?”

“No? I mean, usually Amanda and I studied downstairs or in the sunroom so they said good-bye there. And they were never so outright friendly. Polite, yeah, but not like that.”

Pride at having made a good first impression flowed through Trini but it didn’t distract her from her curiosity. She wasn’t going to let Kim distract her from what she wanted to know again.

“No, I meant your parents. Is that how it always is with them? For you?”

A thoughtful look crossed Kim’s face and she bit her lip. “Trin…”

“I don’t want your life story,” Trini interrupted her, “at least not tonight.” She gave Kim a lopsided smile. “We’ll get to that eventually. All the deep, dark nooks and crannies.”

“Nooks and crannies?” Kim echoed, amused.

“Yeah, one day we’ll get to all the ugly, nitty-gritty about one another but right now, I just wanna know a little. Just about this, tonight.” She lowered her head and turned her body language in so that she’d be as small and non-threatening to Kim as possible, anything to get her to open up and stop bottling everything up inside. At the same time, she sought to keep some levity so that Kim wouldn’t check-out of the conversation on her entirely to avoid it.

It was a delicate balancing act that Trini was just beginning to learn.

It seemed like Kim considered this before she answered. ”Uhm, not really. At least not that bad.”

That was a bit of a relief to Trini.

“Like, we’ve never been close, not like the other kids are with their parents. Especially their mothers. My Dad and I are cool and stuff but Mum and me, not so much. I mean, I barely know either of them, really.”

“I noticed and I’m sorry.”

“I know. It’s ok, that’s just the way we are.” Flopping back onto the bed, Kim let out a long sigh.

The comment was like jagged glass across Trini’s nerves. To her it wasn’t ok, it wasn’t ok in any way and Kim dismissing it was bothersome. This was not the way a family was supposed to function; it was not how a child, how Kim was supposed to function.

Unaware of Trini’s building unease, Kim went on. “I mean, sure I wish it was different, that we were close and had a relationship like what Zack and his Mom have or Billy and Jason have with theirs.” The wistful smile on Kim’s face was one of the most beautiful that Trini’s ever seen even if the source of it was immeasurably sad. “Even yours. I know you have problems with your parents and everything but you have problems because they love you. They care. Your Mom’s craziness comes from a place of love… misguided and at times ignorant but it’s all founded in love.” 

“Your Mom has a shit way of showing it, but your parents love you,” Trini reassured her despite her own distaste for Maddy and to a lesser extent, Ted. “The look on your Dad’s face when he saw you proves it. He’s a bit useless when it comes to your Mom and I’d like to slap the teeth right out of her effing mouth for the way she talks to you…” 

“I know. Get in line, you're not the first,” Kim remarked. “It’s just how she is, though. Won’t help anything. Same with my Dad.”

“I dunno; I slapped Rita to the moon…” Trini muttered.

Kim thought she was cute, if needlessly overdramatic. “Yeah, but my Mom isn’t Rita and this isn’t worth getting as upset as I feel you are about it.” This startled Trini. “You’re broadcasting it pretty loudly over the link.” 

Trini grumbled her opposition to that opinion around a mouthful of chips from a second bag. Ranger metabolism meant they were hungrier than an average NFL player but suspiciously didn’t gain any weight. Buying extra food was an easy solution for them. It was always dismissed by their parents as teenage weirdness/growth spurts. 

She was craving the breadsticks she knew were downstairs.

Taking a different angle, she tried, “You never think that your pain is worth getting upset over. But it bothers me.”

“Because you make it a bigger deal than it is,” Kim said. “I mean, don’t get me wrong; I appreciate that you care. It’s quite a novel experience, really even if I do feel that you shouldn’t waste so much time on it.” 

“What are you… ?” Trini started, lost.

“You do; you make things bigger than they have to be. It’s quite remarkable. Like calling how I feel about my parent’s, ‘my pain’. Trini, it’s not that serious,” Kim insisted. “They’re a bitter annoyance at best and an utter disappointment at worst.”

“Wow, strong accent,” Trini said sardonically, passively calling out Kim’s lies.

Brown eyes narrowed at her. “Hmmm. Seriously, you’ve got more important things to think about, you know, like your family. You should balance more of your time thinking about them instead of wasting so much on me,” Kim dismissed easily. There was no bitterness or sarcasm in her tone; she said it the same way one would relay the weather: fact. 

Her accent was lighter and Trini silently swore at herself for chasing it away but that wasn’t important right now. Dealing with the load of horseshit that just tumbled from her best friend’s mouth was. 

For some unknown reason, Kim didn’t think she should matter to Trini- or at least that how she was treated and how she felt _ shouldn’t _ matter to Trini. Not really.

Trini felt like Kim had kicked her in the face. They had come further than this, she knew they had but somehow she was slamming into Kim’s brick walls again.

_ How much damage did these two numb fuckers just do? _ she raged internally about Kim’s parents. _ Gonna punch them both in the fucking throat… _

“You’re not a waste of my time or energy; we’ve been over this,” she said to Kim patiently. “We talked this out just recently. Your mom did this to you. Your parents did. You matter, Kim. You matter to me and you know it.”

“Of course I know it,” Kim said but Trini didn’t buy it from the airy tone she used. Clearly, Kim was telling her what she wanted to hear in order to end the conversation; another coping mechanism. “But, it doesn’t change anything.”

“How so?” Trini prodded.

“Look, my mother is the way she is and she isn’t going to change at this point. That’s a lost cause.”

“That doesn’t mean you don’t matter or that how she treats you is right,” Trini countered back strongly. “Because it’s definitely not!”

“Yeah, well your mom isn’t exactly the greatest.” There was a slight warning edge to Kim’s voice but Trini missed it under her own irritation.

“My Mom and I have our problems but at least she’s trying. Your mom is just a mean girl,” Trini objected.

Kim shrugged tiredly as most of the urge to argue left her. 

“Maybe? Sometimes? But not always, not really,” she sighed, wondering how she could make Trini understand that this was just how her life was. Getting wound up about it was pointless because it changed nothing. 

Rubbing at her temple, she went on. “That’s… that’s just how she gets. I don’t really know her to be any other way so yeah, I guess this is kind of my normal.”

“Fuck,” Trini swore in disgust.

Kim rolled her eyes. “It’s not that bad. It’s not like she was around to talk to me like that day in and day out or something. I was raised mostly by nannies until I was of school-age; then I was bundled off to boarding school. When I came home, au pairs and other staff looked after me.”

“And your parents?” Trini asked sourly, knowing the answer. 

“They were busy with their work around the world. Taking on death-defying surgeries no one else would do, pioneering techniques for new procedures, creating and patenting new equipment, helping countless people. They were out there doing the big, important things, you know? Like saving lives…”

Trini would swear her jaw hit the bed at the way Kim had twisted things inside her head. “Raising their own kid was important!” she insisted, insulted and hurt for Kim since the brunette seemed to be suppressing those feelings herself. Or she was taught outright she was less important and believed it. That thought was disgusting and unfortunately the frontrunner in Trini’s mind. “Like, it’s the _ most _ important. Fuck other people. Your kid comes first. _ You _ should have come first!”

Kim had done a good job of dampening the grid link but Trini could still sense some of the hidden emotions the horrible treatment made Kim feel; abandonment, rejection, hurt, and guilt like she’d done something wrong or was something bad herself. That stuck out; Kim was taking the blame for her parent’s absence as if it was an outright rejection of her.

Which Trini supposed wasn’t that far off no matter how much the Harts might protest that wasn’t their true intent. Intent didn’t matter at this point; consequences did and the only one paying the price for Maddy and Ted’s narcissism and neglect was poor Kim.

“Yes, that’s how it should have been,” Kim agreed and for that Trini was thankful. “I was a pretty awesome kid and they missed that. I have my awesome moments now too and we get along then. It’s just… Mom doesn’t know how to deal with me when I do stupid things and I do them a lot; you know that. I’m like, the Queen of Stupidity, of Stupid Rash Decisions.”

“Kim, stop, please,” Trini asked. “You’re not.”

Running her hands through her hair, Kim ignored Trini’s insistent declaration. “Mom thinks I’m being a brat, acting out for attention I don’t need when I do dumb shit. She doesn’t know how to deal with me so she acts out back. You saw how my Dad reacts; he pretends to be a turtle and hides or straight out ignores it. So we get what you saw.” 

One of Kim’s emotions started to stand out amongst the others, shame. It was followed closely by the need to escape and she started to chew on her lip. 

_ I should have let her go home instead of letting Mom make her stay. Now she’s going to think my parents hate me, which they don’t. They love me; I’m just a handful. I can’t believe I let her see me with them. I don’t measure up. Now she knows that they don’t trust me. What if Trin doesn’t think she can trust me anymore because of them? Fuck! I wish they hadn’t been here! Damn it! I just want a minute to be happy for a change! _

Hopelessness skittered over the link like nails on a chalkboard, setting Trini’s nerves on an irritated edge. In reaction, her eyes snapped onto Kim, determined not to let her out of her sight. She felt guilty for being so pushing as hard as she had. 

“Hey, take it easy,” she soothed when Kim’s breathing picked up. 

She went to shift away.

“Where are you going?” Kim asked, her voice pitched a little higher. 

_ She’s leaving! I chased her away! I’m too much of a mess for her to put up with. Fuck! _

“I wanted to give you room and not crowd you…” Trini trailed off. “I know that makes you feel worse sometimes. I was gonna move to the floor.”

_ Oh, thank God! _ Kim thought in relief. She could almost faint. 

The expression that had caused Kim’s forehead to crease eased, smoothing out the half-Indian’s skin. “Thanks,” she said, tucking some hair behind her ear, “but I’m ok.”

Trini moved back into her spot. “Ok, I’m not going anywhere,” she reassured Kim. 

“Good.”

A little time passed as the two managed to get a little homework done before Kim spoke again.

“I really am sorry that my mother upset you so badly,” she offered. 

Trini sighed. “It’s just frustrating that she doesn't see how great you are. That neither of them does.” 

Kim blushed. “Thanks. No, they tend to only know when I get involved in something bad enough that it requires their attention. Any good that I do gets missed.”

“That sucks. I mean, doesn’t she get that there are reasons why you do ‘dumb shit’ as you called it?” Trini questioned. “Maybe if she took two fucking minutes out of her busy schedule to be an actual parent to her own daughter she could find out what those were,” she growled, on a roll now that she was being allowed to rant. “I’m sorry but, Jesus, has she ever considered that if you’re acting out, she might be a reason why? That kids who act out for attention usually do so because they’re lacking it? Duh.” She crossed her eyes and stuck out her tongue. 

“You heard her, she’d argue that ‘a child who is given everything can lack for nothing’.” Kim mimicked her mother perfectly and Trini didn’t appreciate it. “Trust me, I’ve heard that one enough. To her, providing everything I need or want is the same as affection.”

“But it’s not. It’s buying a different kind of affection and it creates a lack of true loving affection!” Kim didn’t argue but didn’t agree either. “I don’t get how she can be so clueless and like, say something nice one second and tear you down the next. Is that normal? Does she do that all the time? How have you not slapped her? How did you end up so sweet and awesome when your mother is such an unbelievable cunt?”

An unladylike snort from Kim made Trini freeze. As upset as she was, this was still Kim’s mother. 

“Uhhh, oops. I’m smack-talking your mother. I’m so sorry only I’m also kinda not. Help me out here; I’m torn.”

Shrugging the shoulder nearest the younger teen, Kim explained with a slight smile. “Cunt isn’t nearly as bad a word in Britain as it is here. I was just shocked to hear you say it.”

The blush on Trini’s face was almost painful; she was that embarrassed. 

Kim went on. “And I see how most of my friends' mothers are so I know how different mine is. I understand that this isn’t what’s normal for everyone else. But my mom is my mom and I guess some women aren’t cut out to be mothers. My luck, I guess.” She yawned. “No point in getting myself wound up about it at this point. Or in you wasting so much of your energy stressing about it like this. Don’t let her get to you, I don’t.”

Trini watched her carefully looking for a hint of the hurt she felt faintly through the link on Kim’s face but despite the older girl’s heart living on her sleeve when it came to everyone else, her private feelings were as enigmatic as ever. 

“Why do you do that?” she asked softly. Kim frowned in confusion.

“Do what?”

“Devalue yourself like that. ‘It’s just the way it is’. Or ‘it’s not worth getting upset about’. Shit, Kim, it is. I can feel how much it hurts you. Why do you ignore it and tell me to?”

“Cuz we can’t change it. It’s done with.” the brunette girl pointed out but Trini could hear the edge of vulnerability to Kim’s voice. The air of nonchalance was fading to show some of the genuine emotion that Kim kept well hidden. 

“You’re still allowed to be upset by it. It doesn’t mean you don’t have value.”

“Yeah, I guess. Maybe. But, it’s not worth it when I don’t get to see them much. I have to put up with what I get, you know? If I thought about it and got angry every time I saw them, they wouldn’t bother coming home at all. Then I’d have nothing. So, I’ll take the scraps I can get and just keep moving forward. I can’t go back and make them be there for me when they weren’t. It doesn’t work like that so, yeah, forward.” 

“I suppose…” Trini didn’t like it. It was abandonment, plain and simple and not dealing with it was going to create other issues further down the line. But Kim clearly wasn’t in the mood and she’d only alienate her further if she pushed it. “I’m sorry they won’t be here for Diwali.”

Tears filled Kim’s eyes but she was too stubborn to let them fall. “That surprised me; they’ve never missed it before. It’s like, the one thing we always do together, every year. It’s the one thing I could look forward to. Our one family event and now I don’t even have that. Still can’t believe it.” 

Biting her lip, Trini shifted awkwardly. “I hate to sound stupid but, what is it?” 

“Oh!” Kim’s eyes lit up and Trini was proud to bring that light back into sad eyes with such a simple question. “You don’t sound stupid, it’s not a widely known thing here. It’s the Hindu New Year and a huge deal in India. Mom converted to Catholic for Dad when they got married but she didn’t want to lose touch with her culture so she kept some of the traditions.”

She launched into an explanation of the holiday as well as a story or two about her mother’s extended family and the few times they had visited America for the occasion.

“Gran would tell me all about Ramachandra and his battle against the demons and the demon king, Ravana.” A wry expression took over Kim’s face. “Then she’d tell me that I was too spoiled for Lakshmi to bless me.”

“Lakshmi?”

“The Goddess of happiness and good fortune,” Kim explained. “She’s a huge part of Diwali too and Gran used to say that Lakshmi would never smile upon me because I was spoiled and ungrateful. A common theme in my life, apparently.” 

Trini was quickly coming to dislike most of Kim’s family.

“So,” Trini cleared her throat, “Diwali?”

“Yeah, it uh, it lasts 5 days and there’s like, feasts, parties, gifts, and sweets but my favorite part is the lights,” Kim seemed to get caught up in her explanation again as the excitement returned to her eyes. “We light up everything! I love it! Lamps, candles- my dad has all these beautiful diyas he’s collected from around the world over the years that we put out around the house, inside and out. It’s kinda like our version of decorating a tree, I guess? It’s the only time we really interact with that part of my heritage and now we’re not gonna bother. Something more important came up.” Her mood crashed and her bitterness was palpable. “Like with everything else. Something more important.” 

For a split second, the proper emotion -hot anger- came over their link. Trini felt it was in context. It was bundled with betrayal, hurt, grief, loss, longing, and that feeling every child gets when a parent disappoints them. All proper reactions.

Unfortunately, Kim shut off the feeling quickly with a twisted expression on her face.

“I shouldn’t say that. Those little baby girls need their help and I’m being a selfish bitch. As usual.” She gave Trini an apologetic look that was completely unnecessary as far as the younger girl was concerned. “Sorry, I get like this sometimes; I forget that they’re out there saving lives and I’m fine. It’s not like I need them here.” Letting out a long sigh, she shook her head. “I’m a big girl; I’ll live. You know, I really hate myself sometimes.”

Stunned, Trini could only stare at her for a moment. The older girl had turned on herself so quickly she was surprised Kim didn’t give herself whiplash. And she’d read enough of the material from her mother’s conferences and workshops to recognize the behavior of an abused child trying to take the blame for their own abuse. 

Every atom in Trini’s body screamed at how wrong the situation was and at how impotent Trini felt. “Hey, stop. Don’t be like that. You have every right to be upset,” she insisted. “More than.”

“But it won’t help anything,” Kim countered in a tone that was just barely not a whine.

“You might feel better. It’s not healthy to just push this shit away like you do…”

“I told you it won’t help anything and it won’t,” Kim snapped suddenly. 

“Uh…” 

“Shit, sorry,” Kim apologized for snapping. “It’s just, Trin, believe me; I have yelled, begged, pleaded, threatened, whatever- you name it to get them to spend more time here but _nothing_ ever changes with them. Nothing I say is enough for them. So, yeah, here we are.”

“Ug! I hate this!” Trini protested, frustrated. “I hate this for you!”

“I do too and now they’re gonna miss my favorite time with them, the _ only _ time I get to spend with them really. Until Valentine’s Day but even then that's more of a ‘them’ time than an ‘us’ time if you get my meaning.”

“Ew.” Trini wrinkled her nose. She knew way too much about the Hart’s sex-life. 

“Yeah. It sucks. I love Diwali. It’s so pretty. Sometimes it’s in October but this year it’s in early November and I thought it’d be nice, you know? Since the time between Halloween and Christmas is usually so drab, decoration-wise. We don’t do Thanksgiving either. Oh well,” Kim said sadly, “maybe next year.”

“Why don’t we do it?” Trini suggested gently and suddenly. It popped from her mouth before she registered it but once it exited, she meant it. 

Kim looked at her in surprise for a moment before she shrugged. “I dunno, maybe. It won’t be the same but, yeah, maybe.”

Offering her a small smile, Trini tried to encourage it, “Hey, I’m game if you wanna do it. Just you and me or we can get the guys in on it too. You just let me know.”

“Thanks. I… I probably wouldn’t want- I’d probably prefer just us if we did it but I dunno if it’s worth the effort,” Kim answered honestly. 

“Kim,” Trini started softly, sadly. 

“Yeah,” Kim nodded. Shame and sadness flared for a moment over the link before Kim stamped it out with a heavy sigh. Her entire end went static for the first time since they’d arrived at the house earlier.

“It’s not your fault, you know. How they treat you…” Trini started, desperate to make Kim understand. 

“I know.”

_ Do you? _ Trini wondered; she had her doubts. “I guess if that’s how it always is, or close to it then it’s a good thing they don’t stop in much.” Her brain stuttered to a stop for a moment and her mouth reengaged before she realized it as an earlier thought popped back up. “Wait a sec, I’m confused. The day we were all making up time for detention helping rebuild the gazebo. You said your Mom was here…?”

Kim groaned as if in pain. “Not tonight? Please? I’ve had all I can take for one day.” 

“You shouldn’t bottle so much up…”

“That’s funny coming from you,” Kim smiled to take any sting from her words. When Trini didn’t look like she wanted to let it go, she pouted and batted her eyes at her, trying to look as pathetic as she felt. “Please? Another night or something?”

“You lied to me, multiple times.” Trini let the hurt she felt show. “To my face, Kim.”

Looking away in shame, Kim nodded. “You’re right; I did.”

“Thank you for admitting it but why? I wouldn’t have judged.”

Kim pulled her long legs up to her chest and curled around them. “I’m trying, Trin, I really am but I can’t just go all-in at once on this, all this emotional stuff. It’s all new to me and I’m not used to it. I’m trying though.”

“Yeah, you are,” Trini relented albeit reluctantly. “Not tonight but soon?”

“Not tonight but soon,” Kim agreed readily. 

“I’m gonna hold you to that cuz whatever it was and the way it makes you feel? That’s not gonna go away just cuz you ignore it. Trust me, it doesn't work like that.”

Kim’s expression soured. _ Screw you, Little Miss Know-It-All. _

“You walked in on one night of almost seventeen years worth of shit, Trin. You’re late to the party so let it go. You don’t know everything; stop acting like you do.” 

Trini flinched from her tone. “Christ Kim, retract the claws,” she requested softly. “I didn’t mean it like that. Shit” 

Feeling guilty, Kim tried to meet her friend halfway. “Crap, sorry.”

“Stop biting my head off for caring,” Trini said sadly. “Or don’t. I mean, I won’t stop caring either way.”

_ Now I feel like an even bigger asshole, _ Kim thought darkly. “Would it help if I said that on those days I was feeling extra sad and couldn’t face anyone, even you?” she offered, barely audible. “Can we leave it there for now?” 

Reaching out, Trini put her hand on Kim’s knee and gave a light squeeze. “Yeah, sure. But… maybe… if you can, next time, try and reach out to me? Like the day when I came over and made lunch. Or I can just sit quietly in the corner with you or beside the bed and you can ignore me. We don’t have to talk. I just want to be here. K? So you’re not alone when you feel like that? That’s all I want.” 

It was like being kicked in the chest by a Clydesdale for Kim; no one in her life had ever offered such a thing. All she could do for several lost seconds was blink back tears and try to breathe through the cramp in her chest. Both reactions sounded painful but the truth was she was so touched by the offer that she short-circuited. Trini wasn’t offering to fix anything, including Kim. She only wanted to be there as silent support and not as a one-time thing.

The fact that anyone wanted to be there to comfort her was astounding. Kim never considered someone would want to do that for her without wanting something in return. Yet she knew down to her soul that Trini didn’t have a secret agenda. How she managed to be interesting enough for Trini to want to be friends at all was a mystery to Kim. That Trini cared so much was even more baffling.

“You ok?” Trini asked, concerned.

“Mmm-hmm,” Kim nodded. “I just,” she swallowed, “yeah. Uhm, I’ll try, if I can.” Trini smiled and nodded, accepting that answer. Letting out a breath in relief, Kim tried to steer the conversation away from those few days. “Thanks.”

The tension in the room passed. “No problem, Princesa.”

“You won’t, uhm, tell the guys about any of this…?”

An insulted expression took over Trini’s face. “Seriously? Didn’t we…”

“Yeah, I knew that was stupid when it was halfway out of my mouth but I was committed. Sorry, I know you better than that,” Kim apologized sincerely. “You’re like the only person I trust. Wow, my apologies; I misspoke.”

“No problem,” Trini let it go since it was clear Kim had gotten the point.

Wordlessly, they went back to studying and Trini was for the most part content to let it stay that way when Kim uncurled from her protective position. The former cheerleader casually crossed her left ankle with Trini’s right and left it that way, bobbing her foot and by extension Trini’s along with the music in her headphones. The casual touch was a bit new but welcomed and it settled comfortably in Trini’s bones.

  
  



	21. Little Bird, Little Bird Fly Thru My Window

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TAGS: Mild language, cluelessness, triggering: abuse through neglect, mild angst
> 
> Ted reflects on his daughter and their unique family dynamic as he goes to say good-bye before leaving for the airport.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's late. I hope you're all doing well and taking care of yourselves.
> 
> I swear this Book ends on an upswing of emotion if ya just stick with it.

Knocking lightly first, Ted pushed open the door to his daughter’s room slowly. It was almost 3 AM and he had to leave to catch his flight. He’d already pushed it back to spend a little extra time at home catching up with his wife and her work but he really needed to get going.

He was unprepared for the wave of affection that washed through him when the dim light from the hall fell over Kim and Trini curled up under the covers. It surprised him somewhat that Trini was in the bed given how Kim didn’t allow people in ‘her space’. Maddy had told him about the morning Trini picked up the phone so he wasn’t completely shocked but their little girl wasn’t the warmest or most openly affectionate of children. He wondered briefly if Kim came by her aloofness naturally or if his and Maddy’s absence in her life had made her that way. 

Disregarding that thought, he realized that he hadn’t seen Kim sleep so peacefully in a long time. She was at one time a light sleeper who stirred at almost anything. At her slumber parties, her friends always slept in a separate room and she had problems with roommates at boarding school. Whether the other people/person made too much noise or she didn’t trust them, Kim always had an excuse. The problem seemed to sort itself out as she grew but Kim still guarded her personal space fiercely. 

Amanda and Harper were never allowed such closeness and never when Kim was in such a vulnerable state such as sleep. Ted didn’t know what happened when Kim slept over at those girl’s houses but the rare times he was around when she came home, she was exhausted. Why she stayed friends with people she didn’t trust, possibly subconsciously because to him it wasn’t clear, didn’t make sense to him.

Thankfully they were gone and here was Trini in the bed beside her. The way that the two of them were cuddled up was adorable. Trini seemed to be sheltering Kim who was wrapped in blankets and hidden away against the smaller body. Ted doubted anything could get by the deceptively tiny teen and if it did, it surely wouldn’t survive long enough to get to Kim.

_ Where did you come from, you little Spitfire? _ He thought fondly.  _ And how did you manage to fall into Kim’s life the way you did?  _

However it happened, Ted wasn’t going to question it; not when Trini was such a gift.

He’d been impressed with the young woman he’d met at dinner, with the way she’d handled herself when Maddy had obviously upset Kim and been a little harsher than usual. He wasn’t sure of his wife’s motivations and had warned her to back off after dinner but it was too late to fix whatever damage her stubborn attitude had done this time.

_ But you kept your cool and somehow kept Little Bird from flying off the handle like she usually does. Now that was something else.  _

Kim’s impulsive temper was legendary amongst the extended Hart family and it was no secret that Maddy and Kim clashed. They almost always had. When one pushed, the other pushed back twice as hard. Maddy had expectations and she demanded that Kim meet them. While Kim would meet them, often exceeding them she also had a tendency to do them in the opposite way her mother intended, usually at her own expense. She acted out, got into trouble, and put herself at risk for absolutely no sane reason that Maddy could comprehend or that Kim could be bothered to give her.

There was no give, no in-between, no compromise; neither would yield. The angrier they became, the more spiteful they grew- in this, they were the same. 

The problem for Ted was, Kim was a child who didn’t know any better (for a long time); Maddy was an adult who did. But the older woman couldn’t see that Kim was a reflection of her and God help him if Ted tried to mention it. 

So what could he do?

Ted wondered if their relationship would have been different if Maddy and Kim had been around each other more during Kim’s more formative years. But once Kim was sent off to boarding school at age 5, the mother and daughter didn’t spend much time together. They never interacted with one another for more than a week or two, possibly a month at a time until the family moved from the UK to Canada when Kim was a pre-teen. It was at that point that the disconnect between the two became obvious and it only grew wider with time.

_ Maddy loves her fiercely; it’s why she expects so much and is so hard on her but I’m not sure it always translates that way to Kim. It’s such a shame because she’s all Mads talks about most of the time and she just gushes about how proud she is of her.  _

He sighed. _ I’ve gotta talk to Mads about expressing it to Kim more, especially now that Kim’s this age. It’s now or never if Mads wants to have any sort of relationship with our baby. She’s just so hard on Little Bird sometimes but it all comes from a place of love. _

Maddy viewed life through a more clinical lense than Ted did which kept her slightly distanced from other people. Behind closed doors, however, Ted knew her to be very warm and loving. He wished that he could spend more time around her as well as Kim but that wasn’t the kind of life he leads or had planned for the foreseeable future. Which was a shame since Kim would be graduating in a little over a year and moving out to start her own life; any time he and Maddy had left to develop any sort of meaningful relationship with their daughter was running out.

But, unlike his wife, Ted was more of an optimist and in his opinion, as long as there was life there was hope. Once life slowed down, he’d be able to get to know Kim and at that point, Kim would really know who she was in life instead of being a struggling, questioning kid who drove her mother nuts. Then they could really sit down and bond the way he wanted to, the way he hoped and dreamed of. It just had to wait until he was ready to slow down in life and Kim was an adult. 

He couldn’t really see much wrong with that. He’d been raised on a farm, sixth out of seven children. It was a great place and he loved it but it was chaotic and life never stopped. At times, he’d felt overlooked and like he was raising himself while his father and the older boys did the harder work. He’d been smaller in stature than his brothers too so he was left out a bit more as a result and done just fine. If he could survive on a farm, Kim could handle the early independence living in a large, posh home.

Plus, now she wasn’t alone, she had Trini as well as the three boys she’d recently befriended. He and Maddy didn’t know too much about them, aside from basic information but they seemed all right. Ted was interested in meeting them but Jason, Zack, and Billy were more of an afterthought, especially now that he’d gotten to meet and interact with the much-talked about in emails, intriguing Trini Gomez.

Trini was interesting just for the way she apparently inspired Kim to email more often. Typically, Ted could expect to get two emails from Kim a month: on roughly the 15th and 30th. After the way neither parent had taken her side during the Amanda incident, she had stopped telling them anything personal. The emails were impersonal and detached. Kim simply listed data like her test scores, the amount of money she’d spent in which account and why, any trouble she’d gotten into, issues with the house, and other non-personal things. Occasionally, Ted would try to engage her and ask how she was but the answer was always the same bland ‘I’m fine’.

Then Trini entered the picture and the emails picked up in frequency and in content. It had started slowly with Kim talking about maybe making new friends and how she was trying to be careful about screwing it up. He’s emailed her back some encouragement and after that, he started getting a few emails a week that were about more than school. Maddy was getting more emails as well but not as many and not as open and personal from what he could tell.

His Little Bird was no good at hiding her crush on Trini even in digital form. He wondered why he hadn’t gotten a phone call from her in a tizzy telling him that they’re together. It astounded them that they weren’t already a couple and truthfully he was still trying to figure out why they weren’t when it was something they both obviously wanted. 

The way they looked at each other in total adoration had made Ted and Maddy chuckle and ‘awwww’ at their cuteness. His wife also slapped him up the backside of the head once they were alone for taunting Kim about her sexuality at dinner when they don’t know how much if anything Kim had divulged to Trini.

_ “Don’t assume because Trini is comfortable that Kimberly is as well,” Maddy had scolded him, properly annoyed and in full-on protective Mama-mode. “You know some things are more difficult for her than others; she must have her reasons. But you acted like a child and she didn’t deserve that. Neither did Trini.” _

_ “I’m sorry,” he apologized with his head down. _

_ “That’s nice but you didn’t insult and mock me for my feelings in front of the person I have said feelings for. You did that to your daughter.” Her words cut him deeply. “I am hard on her, yes, but what you did was low, Ted. How can we expect her to be a better person when that’s the way you behave? Think first and set a better example.” To ease her words, she kissed him on the forehead and pulled the blankets up around them as she cuddled close.  _

_ “I know. I’ll be better,” he promised. _

_ “I know you will. I love you.” _

_ “I love you, too.” _

When he and Maddy talked about it, Ted realized that whether or not the girls’ relationship changed into something else ultimately wasn’t of much importance. Or didn’t have to be if they girls themselves handled it right. They liked each other, yes, but in the end what Kim needed was a good friend, not a romantic partner. A relationship would let Kim distract herself with meeting the needs of someone else while continuing to ignore her own when she needed the opposite. She needed someone who could help her learn how to look after herself in a healthy way, to focus inward and deal with her emotions, and to show her what a true friend is supposed to be like, not the fake sort of friends like Amanda and Harper. 

All that and more existed in Trini Gomez and the young Latina appeared to be amazingly aware that a relationship with Kim wouldn’t be healthy right now. Maybe she wasn’t even aware consciously that she was holding herself back, Ted wasn’t sure but the connection between the girls couldn’t be missed or ignored. Neither was shying away from the powerful pull of the other.

If they became more, which was fine to him, he prayed to God it didn’t go bad and ruin a really fantastic friendship that brought a positive influence to her life that Kim desperately needed. Kimberly was brilliant but she was wild like a live wire and Ted knew like a live wire she could be dangerous if let loose. Or rather it would be dangerous for her to be left alone too much at this point. Kim had done her fair share of damage to herself in that state and Ted didn’t ever want to revisit that dark and scary place.

The good thing was, as far as he knew Kim’s mental health was stable. But that was just it: as far as he knew it was stable. He wasn’t around, neither was Kim’s mother. The only thing they had to go on was what Kim told them in her emails and her appearance to them now which in all honesty was the best it had been in about three years. But it didn’t change the fact that Kim didn’t idle well or cope well with being alone despite preferring to spend most of her time that way. At heart, Kim was a social being and needed company; it just had to be with someone she’d trust in order for her to relax and benefit from any positive influence offered without rebelling.

But Kim didn’t trust easily. Yet somehow, Trini had walked into the situation and effortlessly gained the incredibly wounded older girl’s trust. Or was at least building it between them easier and faster than Ted had ever seen. There was something about the mystifying Latina that disarmed Kim enough to let her close and Ted would never be able to properly express his thankfulness for that. 

All her new friends seemed to be helping with Kim’s differing issues and he and Maddy were grateful to them all, it was Trini they focused on. Trini was the one who spent time outside of school with Kim, made sure she ate, and cared for the older girl. And it was Trini that was bringing that spark of life back to Kim. 

That was putting it lightly; she was essentially rescuing Kim and carrying her until she was strong enough to walk on her own and the Harts knew it. 

They spent some time during their layover discussing what they could do to show Trini how grateful they were, properly. They didn’t want to be accused of trying to buy the teen’s affections or anything of the sort. It was a slippery slope but they were determined to figure out a way to take care of Trini in return for the way they were watching her save Kimberly. 

Needing to get going, Ted crouched beside the bed next to Kim. “Little Bird? Little Bird, I’m sorry to wake you but I have to get going,” Ted whispered to wake his daughter. “Can you wake up for me, darlin’?”

Blinking awake, Kim rolled over and smiled up at her father. Ted loved seeing the unguarded expression of joy on her face when she saw him. 

“Hi Papa,” she murmured. “You hafta go already?”

Ted sighed. “Afraid so.” He brushed her bangs off her face. She looked so young and innocent that it broke his heart to walk away from her again. He’d missed so much of her life and was poised to miss even more. But, that was one of the drawbacks of his chosen profession.

Kim scrubbed at her eyes. “Where now?”

Ted brushed her cheek. “Eventually Malaysia for the twins’ surgery. After that, I’ve got a few meetings scheduled, a few surgeries, and a big conference in Zurich before hopefully coming back here for Christmas.”

“Yay,” Kim gave up a little cheer.

Ted hoped he didn’t let her down at Christmas like he was for Diwali. “Tonight though, I’m headed to Nana’s for a few days to make sure the farm’s settled before it gets cold.”

“Give Nana my love,” Kim said, sitting up to hug him good-bye. He sat on the bed beside her so he could hold onto her for a few moments. Kim leaned on him and put her head on his chest. 

Beside them both, Trini feigned sleep.

“I will. I’ll check on the horses too,” he promised.

“Ok,” Kim yawned. 

Ted glanced at Trini lying a foot or so away. “Look at that, you let her in your space. That’s a new one.”

Lifting her head, Kim followed his eye-line and shrugged. “So? Seems dumb to dirty 2 beds plus she’s warm and cuddly. It doesn’t bother me to have her here with me, not like with other people. It’s… I dunno.” She rubbed at her nose sleepily and sighed. “Yeah.”

“She’s not an invader?” he teased, using the word Kim always had when she was little. “She doesn’t have any cooties?” Anyone who tried to enter her room was deemed an invader and was thrown out. It was one of the few things that she really, truly threw what would be called an epic temper tantrum over. Even became violent over when someone wouldn’t listen. Not even the cousins she liked could stay in there.

Kim snorted. “I already have her type of cooties,” she grinned goofily at her Dad, too sleepy to school her facial features.

Beside her, Trini silently protested that she didn’t have cooties while she pretended to be asleep. But if she did have cooties, she definitely got them from  _ Kim _ .

“It was Amanda and Harper cooties I didn’t want,” Kim elaborated. “Or Lukie stealing my stuff an’ Cam breaking it. I like having Trin here. She’s… uncomplicated? Easy? No, that’s not right.” She stretched. “She’s just… She’s Trin, you know? It’s not… tiring to be around her. I can just be and exist if I want to. I don’t have to like, entertain her and stuff. And she’s a real good cook, too.”

Trini had to force herself to stay in place because all she wanted was to give Kim a huge hug. She was thrilled to hear what the older girl had said. 

Ted was a little surprised that Kim was being as open as she was as she talked to him until he remembered that he was waking her in the middle of the night. Her words were slow and slightly slurred from sleep. Still, it was sweet to see her so unfiltered and honest.

“That’s great. I bet having her around once in a while makes things a bit less lonely in this big ole house?” he asked sadly.

“Yeah,” Kim agreed reluctantly. “It’s ok…” 

Trini’s mood shifted and she nearly bit through her tongue trying to stay silent.  _ No, it’s not! Nothing about this ‘family’ arrangement is ok! Kim constantly being alone and raising herself is definitely not ok. _

“I’m sorry, Kimmy. I really do mean to be home more, your mother does too,” he tried. 

“I know, I get it,” Kim reassured him, waking a bit more. Hearing the same platitudes irritated her and roused her from the half-asleep warm place she’d been hovering in. 

The bite of Trini’s indignant emotions stung her chest and reminded Kim of some of the things the Yellow Ranger had said to her earlier about what she rightfully deserved from her parents. Hearing someone else say those things had backed up a lot of the unvoiced opinions about her upbringing that Kim wasn’t comfortable talking about. After all, she’d had a privileged upbringing; how could she possibly complain about it?

But, Trini said she had a right to complain, that the way she was pushed aside for something ‘more important’ was inherently wrong- just as Kim always believed but feared to point out. Perhaps Trini was biased towards being overly protective of her given the small crush she had but Kim couldn’t help wondering if maybe Trini was right anyway. The two things could exist together.

Kim bit her lip and took a risk. What did she have to lose, ultimately?

“Maybe…” she started and stopped, her eyes darting away, “maybe after the new year… you and Mom could maybe look at taking some time off? Or working less and being around more? Or maybe we can talk about it? At least, talk?”

Under the covers, Trini mentally cheered Kim. It couldn’t have been easy for her to ask for what she wanted and frankly needed, but something had prompted her to and Trini was grateful.

“I- wow, that’s kind of soon, Little Bird,” Ted hedged and Trini wanted to jump out from under the blankets and punch him. She could feel Kim’s extreme disappointment creeping across the Ranger link along with a stomach-turning sense of being denied love and affection from her parents.

_ God, they are going to cripple her! Absolutely emotionally cripple her. Jesus fucking Christ. _

“But I’ll talk to your mother about it,” her father finished, sounding a bit more enthused than when he started. A little bit of hope crept into Kim’s heart which chased some of the ire out of Trini’s. “I think at this point in our careers, we can afford to take more time off. I know I want to see you more and we need to visit Nana more.”

“Really? I mean, seriously?” Kim asked hopefully.

“As I said, let me talk to your mother but she’s mentioned wanting to slow down a bit. Now, don’t get your hopes up too high, you know how things can change. But, after missing Diwali, I think we owe it to you to at least seriously talk about it. This upcoming surgery will give us the opportunity to be in the same place for longer than a few hours at a time. We’ll have time to talk about it then.”

“Ok, cool,” Kim said happily around a yawn.

“Go back to sleep, sweetie. And I’m glad you finally found someone who can put up with you,” Ted ribbed. 

“Pbbbt,” Kim raspberried him.

“Hey,” he reached over and grabbed Trini’s shin. “I know you’re awake. Thanks for looking out for Kim while her Mom and I can’t be here. We appreciate it.”

“Yup, no problem,” Trini poked her head out, glad the dark was hiding her angry flush. She decided she was too tired to call him out on his shitty parenting especially now that Kim was feeling so happy. As long as he didn’t let her down again; if he did, then he might get an angry phone call or visit from a certain Latina fond of the color yellow.

Billy and Alpha were working on fixing the Ship’s teleporter so it wouldn’t matter where Ted was on the planet, either.

“I don’t need a babysitter,” Kim grunted.

“No, you need a good friend,” Ted said evenly. “A better friend than someone like Amanda Clarke. I feel better knowing you’ve got Trini. And the three young men you’re hanging out with too. I’d like to meet them next time I’m around. I’ll try really hard for it to be Christmas. If not, you know it’ll be Valentine’s. After all, I wouldn’t miss my little girl’s birthday. Now, I have to head out. Stay safe, remember to eat and sleep. Go to school, stay out of trouble, and call if you need anything. That goes for both of you.” 

“I will,” Kim promised and beside her, Trini nodded.

“I love you, Kim,” he kissed her on the forehead. 

“Love you too, Dad! Safe travels!”

Ted stopped at the open door and took a long look at Kim as if drinking in her image, memorizing her. “Thanks, Little Bird! Love you.” He shut the door behind him.

Tilting her head, Trini looked at her friend. “He seriously won’t be back until like, Christmas or Valentine’s Day? It’s only early November now.”

“Yeah.” 

“But that’s so long.”

With a shrug, Kim crawled back under the covers. “That’s how it goes. Come on, let’s go back to sleep.”

Muttering unhappily, Trini joined her. She’d just about resettled when her brain translated another part of what Ted had said. “Wait…! Your birthday is on Valentine’s Day?” 

Beside her, Kim groaned and tried to hide under the covers. “Go to sleep.”

“Oh my God, that is so perfect! Princesa was born on Valentine’s Day.”

“Shuddup,” the older girl grumbled. “I wasn’t supposed to be born then, remember? Preemie?”

“No, seriously, the only other day that would fit is Christmas,” Trini giggled. “Cuz no ordinary day would do. Not for you. It had to be a holiday.” She giggle-snorted. “AND your last name is Hart and you’re born on Valentine’s Day.

“I’m aware, thanks,” Kim said dryly. She appeared unamused but Kim could feel the other girl’s delight at the news over their link and it made her smile. It was such a simple thing to entertain Trini so much. 

“You’re enjoying this too much for someone who could be sleeping on the cold, hard floor,” she threatened playfully, trying to keep her voice serious but failing towards the end.

Gasping in mock horror, Trini defended herself. “You wouldn’t dare. I’ll call your father back in here to protect me. He loves me. Clearly.”

Kim lost her stiff upper lip and laughed. “Yeah, I think he does. My Mom, though? The jury’s still out on that one, I’m afraid.” 

Trini made a face at her. “Ug.”

“Mmmm,” Kim hummed her agreement. “Don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll eventually win her over.”

“Yeah?” Trini asked doubtfully.

“No,” Kim sighed, “I mean, I haven’t yet so there’s that.”

“Crap.”

“Who knows, maybe she’ll like you better than me. It could happen.”

“Kim, my own mother can barely stand me right now. I’m not gonna hold my breath for yours.”

“Good plan,” Kim chuckled. “You’d suffocate and pass-out. My Mom’s a witch.”

Trini groaned.

  
  



	22. Fly Through My Window, Little Bird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TAGS: Language, nightmares, illness, Maddy Hart (should she get her own warning?), violence (canon level)
> 
> Maddy says good-bye; Trini starts to do research and gets a horrible surprise. But is it what it seems?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's late. 
> 
> Sorry about the little bit of illness in this part. I wrote that section awhile before all... this... and I hope it's not too bothersome. Hopefully, the wholesome cuddles involved help.
> 
> I hope you're all doing well and staying safe. <3

Maddy Hart repeated Ted’s wake-up call a few hours later. While her good-bye was briefer, it was softer and far more motherly than what Trini expected. From the gobsmacked expression on Kim’s face, after the woman left, it was to her too. 

_ “Your father spoke to me about you wanting us around more,” Maddy began and Kim had cringed, “and I agreed with you. Beti… Kim, I will try everything I can to be home before Christmas.” Kim opened her mouth. “I understand completely if you can’t put your faith in that; I do. I can only promise that I will try and that I mean it.” _

_ “O-ok,” Kim managed to get in when Maddy paused to take a breath. _

_ “After the New Year, I think it’s time your father and I sat down with you and had a long talk as well as discuss restructuring our careers. It’s long overdue and you deserve for us to at least consider it.” _

After that, she said her good-byes and left. But she left behind a new spark of hope in Kim.

Kim let out a long sigh that made Trini’s throat tight.

“Are you ok?” she asked her friend carefully.

“Yeah,” Kim nodded. “Just tired and we don’t have to be up yet.” She pulled the covers back up. 

“That’s good. So… that was… interesting,” Trini said quietly while Kim settled in behind her as the ‘Big Spoon’. One of the older girl’s arms slung over her waist and pulled her in closer.

“Yeah,” Kim sighed. The bright flare of hope then diminished.

“Aren’t you… Isn’t this a good thing?” 

“Yeah, it’s just…” Kim paused and rubbed at her eyes, “I don’t wanna get my hopes up. I have in the past so many times and it never ends well. They let me down every time.”

“Oh,” Trini said sadly. She didn’t have it in her to be angry at Maddy so early in the morning. Grabbing the hand that rested on her belly, she pulled it up to hold against her chest with her own hands. She wanted to give Kim’s knuckles a kiss in comfort but wasn’t emotionally ‘there’ yet. It didn’t feel right to her for some reason.

Kim pressed her nose against Trini’s shoulder. “I mean, this is a new one; they’ve never made this particular promise before so maybe that means something,” Kim pondered, hope creeping back in. “But I have to stick to what I know from them and it never pans out.”

“I’m sorry,” Trini offered. She hated that it felt so empty.

“I know. They always mean it when they make their promises; in those moments, they mean what they say. I know that much. It just…” she shrugged and trailed off not wanting to keep repeating herself. 

“I get it… how you feel, I mean cuz I’m never gonna get why your parents are the way they are.”

“Yeah, me either.”

-

Later Saturday, Zack called to say that training was canceled since Jason and Billy were both sick with the cold/stomach flu going around school. It was unusual but not unheard of for them to get sick. Jason was a little too sure of being immune and helped take care of Pearl when she was sick so his parents wouldn’t miss work. Now he was paying the price and since Billy helped him out, so was he. Trini groaned that she was probably next since her brothers were little Petrie dishes of snot running around the house.

Kim grimaced at the imagery.

Instead, the three standing Rangers hung out at Kim’s until it was time for Trini to go home for dinner at which point Zack left as well. Trini didn’t like the idea of leaving Kim after the Friday she’d had but her own parents wanted her home and she couldn’t explain why she wanted to stay without telling them too much about the Harts. There was no way that she could do that, could betray Kim like that. If the older girl couldn’t count on her parents to keep their word, Trini had to make the best effort she could to keep hers.

Throughout the day, Kim had seemed fine but if there was one thing Trini was learning it was that appearances with Kim really were skin deep and what looked one way was usually the opposite. But, the usual things Trini was growing to notice when Kim was upset weren’t there the way she expected.

Kim was still laughing regularly and it was mostly genuine- sometimes a pity laugh was all Zack’s jokes were worth. She was eating, engaged in what was going on around her and no more prone to off-handed or self-deprecating remarks than usual. While there were the signs and patterns that warned of Kim’s bad coping skills, they were lighter and less oppressive.

Trini wished she could trust it.

That night after they sent their good-night texts, she sat in bed and focused on Kim’s aura. It sat at Kim’s house, as far as Trini could tell since it was still a new and untrained skill for the most part, and while the pink splash was strained, it wasn’t in distress. 

“I hope you’re doing half as well as it seems,” Trini sighed before closing her eyes.

The next afternoon after church, Trini waited until her mother left to run to the store before she snuck into the woman’s office to look at her library.

_ There’s gotta be some stuff about parental neglect and what Kim’s parents are doing to her in here, _ she thought while her eyes scanned the spines of the books quickly. June would flip if she caught any of her kids in her home office; it was strictly off-limits. _ I need to understand them better and what this is doing to her. I can’t help when I’m blind like this. _

“You’re not allowed in here, mija,” Miguel scolded from the doorway.

“Shit!” Trini hissed at the jumpscare. She glared at the amused expression on her father’s face. “_ Dios _, I thought you were Mama. You scared the ca-ca out of me.”

“You should be very happy that I’m not; this is an automatic grounding,” he reminded her. 

Trini bit her lip. _ Half-in, half-out a lie? _ “I’m not snooping,” _ truth _ , “I’m looking for some information for a paper I might do for school.” _ And the lie. _“Maybe a book or medical journal article or two? The Internet’s great but I don’t know where to start and I didn’t want to bother Mom or get her all up in my face about whether I’m looking into going into social work as a job or something.”

“Hmmm,” Miguel nodded. “What topic?”

Trini froze and prayed that she didn’t give anything away that might lead back to Kim.

“I’m wondering about parents and neglect,” she said slowly. When Miguel’s eyes widened, she hastened to continue. “In richer families, like Amanda Clark and Harper Grant type families, that sort. When they have all the money in the world but pay no attention to the kids. Why are they like that? Why bother having kids? I don’t get how someone can be like that, you know? And what does that do to the kids?”

Trini made a face.

“Other than turn them into scumbags who suck the fun out of my life on a daily basis,” she added with a lot more bitterness than she actually felt, trying to sell why she might want to understand why these girls behaved the way they did.

The way her father gazed at her, seeming to pierce right through her walls and obliterating her story made Trini uneasy. He looked to be reading her and unfortunately, unlike June, Miguel actually knew his daughter and her 'tells' fairly well.

“All right,” he agreed, folding his arms over his chest. His look was dark but unreadable and Trini got the impression whatever it meant, it wasn’t directed at her. “But I’m going to wait right here while you get what you need, that way we can tell your mother that you were supervised while you were in here.”

“Deal,” Trini smiled. Miguel ended up coming into the room to help and when June arrived suddenly minutes later, he explained things to her.

“This one has a chapter I think might help you,” June handed Trini a medium-sized book. “Check the table of contents.” She grabbed another two. “This one has a wonderful, first-person perspective on absentee parents and this has a study I think you’ll find interesting.”

Trini took each of the offered items somewhat stunned at the help while Miguel watched with a proud smile. 

“It’s nice to see you branching out in your interests,” June said and Trini braced for the ‘college major’ speech. “It’s better to look at different things now than get into the wrong major or minor in college. You’ll have lost so much time by then.”

Trini blinked. Not only was June right, but she was being helpful without asking too many questions or pressuring her about anything; it threw her off. 

_ Is it a holiday for me that I don’t know about? Be a nice and normal Mom to Trini Day? _

She frowned at herself. _ That was a depressing way to put it, that it needs to be a special occasion for Mom to be nice to me. Do I really have such little faith in her? _

“Uh, thanks,” she stammered. 

June smiled at her. “I’m happy to help, sweetie. If you have any questions about what you’re reading or something you research online, please come see me. We can sit and talk about your paper…”

“I’m not sure I’ll pick this subject,” Trini hedged.

“I know, but if you do I’d love to help,” June insisted brightly, honestly. “And of course, I’d want to read what I know will be an ‘A’ paper if you decided to write it.” 

Trini’s heart soared and then sank. She realized that all this internal angst she was going through at the moment was her own doing. Her mother was only trying to help; Trini was looking for an ulterior motive of some sort when June was just being her Mom. 

_ As bad as she gets, she’s at least here. I can talk to her even when we’re screaming at each other. She’s right fucking there even when I don’t want her to be. I still have a little hope we can sort our shit out, a lot more hope than I think Kim has about fixing her family. _

She let out a sigh. _ I know I shouldn’t compare our situations because I have plenty to be upset about and I’m right to be upset about… but I’d rather fight with my Mom face-to-face the way we do than never see her. I just… I can’t fathom that. But Kim lives with it. What the hell? _

Trini was beginning to doubt it would ever make sense even if she did the research.

“Thanks, Mama,” she said sincerely. Then, to her horror, her mouth kept going, “I’m glad you’re not like that. Yeah, we fight a lot but at least you’re here; I can go to you whenever cuz you’re right there. Even if you’re mad at me, if I need something, you’re there.”

June, Miguel, and Trini were all stunned by her words. 

Turning bright red, Trini pulled her beanie down over her burning ears and scrunched in her body language. “Yeah, uhm, ok. I’m gonna go study,” she muttered and took off to her room.

Behind her, Miguel and June exchanged an adoring look at her retreating figure. 

“I don’t think she meant to say that,” June sniffled, touched. 

“I don’t think so either,” Miguel laughed. He flinched playfully when June smacked him on the arm.

“Don’t laugh at her; you know those moments are hard for her,” she chuckled along with him. “And so rare. I think she just made this upcoming week for me.” June let out a long breath as if in great relief. “Yup, it’s going to be a good week.”

Miguel smiled and gave her a hug.

-

Shaking off her uncharacteristically vulnerable moment with her mother, Trini started flipping through the things June had suggested to her. As she read, her brow knit together. The first item was a study about how most studies conducted about child abuse focused on low-income and poor families while overlooking affluent families. Therefore, abuse in affluent families often went under the radar and was suspected to be more widespread than reported.

“No shit,” Trini swore under her breath. 

Further on in the piece was information she found much more interesting. 

_ “... research (Bellis _ _ et al _ _ . 2014b) and retrospective studies on childhood experiences of abuse and neglect highlight that children from middle class and affluent families suffer childhood neglect in less visible ways….The claim is made that many affluent parents do not spend enough quality time with their children, and put excessive pressure on their children to be high achievers, and that such factors create psychological and emotional problems for the children in adulthood.” _

“Again, tell me something I don’t know.”

_ “Typically, it is thought that some affluent parents are often emotionally disconnected from their children because they work very long hours, which means that their children are often left alone, or with a range of paid carers. Such situations raise complex questions about how to assess the psychological and emotional availability of parents.” _

Trini snorted ruefully.

_ “Additionally, Watson (2005) asserts that wealthier families may have the material resources to hide physical and supervisory neglect while being psychologically or emotionally neglectful.” _

Her eyes started to cross. “Ok, I don’t need to like, write a damn science paper,” she huffed. Irritated that her impatience was getting in her way, Trini took a deep breath and tried to center herself.

_ Look, you’re not gonna solve this today or overnight so just, speed-read through a few of these and see what happens _, she told herself. 

_ “It is important to note that there are variations in how neglect is defined across… blah, blah, blah… It is also important to note that there are different sub-categories of neglect; these include educational, emotional, medical, nutritional, physical, and supervisory neglect. Additionally…” _

At that moment, it settled into Trini that this was going to be some dry reading and she sighed. She got up and went downstairs to gather snacks before returning to her room, getting a fresh notebook from her stash and setting back to work.

“All right then, let’s go.”

-

The harsh impact of her unarmored back against the wall sent pain throughout her body but Trini’s immediate concern was for the claw at her throat, slowly squeezing off her airway as she was held suspended in the air. Feeling all her weight being held up by her neck and head made her vision swirl and her eyes throb. It felt like all her blood was trapped in her skull and it was going to pop like an overripe zit.

_ Fuck! Rita! How’d she get in! What’s going on? Oh God! _ Trini panicked, trying to kick the villain away with her feet. Her arms felt like weights and it was hard to move her legs at all. She thought she got a good kick in but Rita’s grip on her fragile neck didn’t lessen. 

_ How? How is she here? _

Trini beat at the hand at her throat.

“I see myself in you,” Rita’s oil-slick voice hissed. It crept up the side of Trini’s face and poured into her ears like an oozing slime. Everything around her was muffled like they were underwater.

“You see, I was an outsider on Zordon’s team, just like you,” Rita went on. “You’re just like me, deep inside.”

_ No! _“No…” she croaked, twisting in Rita’s unrelenting grip.

“Yes!” Rita laughed. “A little outsider, a freak. That’s what you are. You’ll never really be a part of the team, you’ll never really be trusted. You’re simply the girl who happened to pick up the yellow rock, not someone the rest of the team chose.”

Trini tried to ignore the woman’s words but they hit too close to her insecurities; they were her insecurities.

Rita sneered at her. “I mean why would they choose you? You’re so small and well, weak. Even with your powers, you are by far the weakest Ranger I’ve ever known. Weak, pathetic, little Trini.” 

Trini clawed and kicked at her helplessly; nothing she did had any effect and she was just getting weaker. She tried to reach out through the Ranger link but everything was fuzzy and going gray.

“Honestly, the way you humans let such puny offspring live is an affront to evolution,” Rita ranted. “And you, Yellow, the puniest of them all, you’re going to crack under the pressure. You’re going to be just as consumed by anger as I was. And you know what happens then, sweetie?”

Rita leaned in close and ran her obscenely long tipped fingers over her cheek in a perversion of a caress. “That’s when you’ll turn on them.” Trini shook her head. Rita grabbed her by the chin and forced her to nod instead. “Yes, yes, you will. You’ll turn on all your friends and kill them, one by one. Even your precious Kimberly. You’ll make her suffer and you’ll relish it. Just like I did when I killed those I loved.”

“No!” Trini cried and broke free, tumbling to the floor coughing. Her throat was burning. “I’m nothing like you,” she finally managed once she had her air back. She tried to push up off her knees but couldn’t. 

Rita laughed. “Yes, you are! You’re just like me in so many little ways. Don’t think I don’t know how you love the feeling of strength and power your coin gives you, the same as I did. We both know how much you love that surge you get in your blood when you remember how no one can hurt you anymore, how you can be the one doing the hurting.”

Trini shook her head to try and shake away the evil woman’s words but they were true and she hated herself for them. She shrunk away.

“That’s right,” Rita pressed closer, insistent. Pressed Trini into the corner where she couldn’t get out. Slithered in tight like a snake. “Come now, admit how you love the way you no longer feel weak or small now that you finally have access to all that power. The power to crush, to kill…”

Trini sniffled and shook her head, curling into herself. “No…”

“I mean, just look at you!” Rita mocked. “You’re nothing without your coin. Just another helpless, weak pathetic nothing. Without your coin, you have no friends, _ DeeDee _.” 

The fact that her team didn’t know her name to start with really did sting.

“You have nothing. You are nothing. You’re a no one,” Rita went on.

“Stop,” Trini begged. “Go away!”

Rita’s mocking laughter rang in her ears making her sob in frustration.

“Shhh, easy,” another voice broke in, a familiar welcome voice. “It’s ok.” Its arrival pushed Rita back from the corner and gave Trini something else to focus on. She needed a moment to catch her breath and stop the room from spinning. 

“There you go,” the voice went on calmly. “Now, come on, you’re having a nightmare. Wake up. Listen to my voice and come out of it, hon.”

Struggling to open her eyes, Trini blinked a few times until she could just make out Kim’s face in the dark. Although her vision was blurry, she was happy to be awake and to wake from her nightmare to that face.

“Wha…?” Gentle fingers wiped at her cheeks and that was the only indication Trini had that she was crying. For a moment, the fear that it was a trick by Rita ran through her. She batted at the hands for a moment before Kim could calm her. “No! Ri…”

“Shhh, shhh, sweetie, you’re ok. It’s just me,” the taller Ranger explained quickly. “She’s not here. You’re safe, I promise. It was just a nightmare. Shhh…” 

After another moment of disorientation, Trini relaxed and let the sound of Kim’s voice wash over her. “Kim?” she reached out weakly.

Kim’s strong hands grasped her flailing ones.

“Hey, I’m right here,” Kim whispered. “You were having a hell of a nightmare so I came over to shake you out of it. It’s ok.” 

As she awakened further, Trini took a better look at her friend. Kim was in her pajamas, her leather jacket, and a pair of sneakers. That was it. Her hair wasn’t even brushed, not that it would have mattered with Ranger superspeed.

“Did you…” she tried to ask through an incredibly sore throat, “run here?” It hurt to swallow. 

Kim shrugged. “I was in a hurry,” she tossed back. “Thanks for leaving the window unlocked.” Throwing off her coat, she got back on the bed and pulled a sleepy Trini close. “Whoa, I think you’re sick.” Trini was soaked through and shivering. “I was afraid of that. Your aura feels off.”

“I’m a superhero, I don’t get sick,” she protested even as her head throbbed and her stomach rolled uncomfortably. 

“Update, you’re both,” Kim said. She pulled the half loose ponytail out of Trini’s hair and carefully reset it into a bun so the younger girl’s hair was off her face and neck. When she lightly scratched her nails over Trini’s scalp, Trini let out a happy sigh. 

“You’ve got the bug Jay and Billy caught. They’re almost all better already. Our systems just need a day or so to deal with it so you’ll be ok.” It wasn’t meant dismissive but reassuring and it did make Trini feel better.

“You’re not sick.”

“Thanks a lot,” Kim snorted, “wishing it on me. Don’t worry, Zack and I are gonna be next anyway if it’s already hit you three. But hopefully you’ll only be sick a day or two instead of a week.”

“God, I hope so,” Trini groaned, curling up into a miserable ball.

“Aww, I’m sorry you’re sick,” Kim offered sincerely. “But I’m here to help if I can. Think I can sneak to the bathroom and get supplies without waking your family? Cuz getting caught is not an option.”

She was gone before Trini could form an answer and back not much later. Or it seemed that way to Trini but she wasn’t sure if she fell asleep in the meantime. Just blinking was tiring and everything was blurry.

“Ok, it seems like it shouldn’t work but Alpha said to do it so here’s some Tylenol for the fever,” Kim spoke more to the air than Trini as she put a thermometer in the Latina’s ear. Bothered, Trini tried to pull away but Kim was patient and readjusted while soothing her by stroking her cheek. 

“It’s ok. It’ll just take a second or two,” she promised when Trini murmured her discontent. “102.5,” she read at the beep. “Not great but I’d be more worried if we didn’t start at over 99 to begin with.”

Trini blinked up at her, trying to follow the conversation. “Huh?”

Kim gave her a gentle smile. “All right, let’s help you out.” Carefully, she helped Trini take a few fever reducers, making sure the sick Ranger didn’t choke on the water or the pills. “Drink slowly, Trin. I don’t want you to get sick.”

“... kay,” Trini nodded. The water helped her feel a little more awake as did Kim’s steady presence beside her on the side of the bed. The way the half-Indian kept running a cool cloth over her flushed forehead, cheeks, and around her neck was helping too.

“I grabbed a bucket if you do get sick, so don’t worry,” Kim’s smooth voice reassured her. “And I grabbed some clean pajamas for you, more water, some tummy pills for nausea, a few cool washcloths like this one, tissues if you get sick, and some cold medicine on the outside chance that’s what this is… did I miss anything? What else do you need?”

_ I must have dozed off if she grabbed all that. She sounds so concerned but she shouldn’t worry so much I’m fine, _Trini’s thoughts bounced around a bit. “Cuddles?” she whimpered, letting herself ask for what she wanted, what she felt would make her feel better.

“That one’s free,” Kim smiled and it made Trini feel better just to see it. “I’m afraid you have to change PJs first; it’s not healthy for you to stay in those and it’ll help make you feel better.”

“‘Kay,” Trini blinked and swayed when she tried to sit up further. 

“Whoa, not so fast, sweetie,” Kim eased her up. 

“Can you…?” Trini asked and trailed off with a frown. 

Kim saw her staring at her mouth and told her mind that now wasn’t a good time.

“What? ‘Can I’ what?” Trini poked her in the mouth. “Ow!”

“You’re not…” Trini started and stopped, searching for the words.

“I’m not what?”

“No!” Trini poked her in the mouth again.

“Trin, I’ll bite next time!”

“You don’t sound right,” the Latina huffed as the fever stole the words she wanted to say and she slumped sideways onto Kim completely. 

Kim let out a small quiet laugh that irritated Trini so she weakly shoved at Kim’s face. It was more of a clammy wet press of her palm to Kim’s chin.

“Ay, you want the accent, huh?” Kim teased while thickening her natural accent for Trini’s enjoyment. The goofy grin that slowly spread across Trini’s flushed cheeks was adorable. “I can do that. Now, do you want my help getting changed or…?” 

Given the situation, Kim meant nothing by it and Trini knew it but she was still glad for a lucid moment that her fever hid any blushing she might be doing.

“Trin, sweetie, wake up,” Kim whispered as she brushed against Trini’s ear. “You dozed off.”

“Huh? Oh, sorry,” she said, shaking her head. “How long?”

“Uhm, that was the second nap since you sat up but you sound much more lucid this time than when you woke up 20 minutes ago. I’ve been letting you drift in and out but my back is starting to cramp up…”

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Trini repeated, groaning as she shifted and her stomach rebelled. “God, I feel like shit.” She huffed and tried to pull away when Kim took her temperature again.

“Sit still,” Kim scolded softly. “100.8. Better and at least you’re more awake this time. Do you want to get changed before you crawl back in?”

Trini took a moment to check in with herself and made a face. “I feel nasty af. I’m gonna go shower this off.”

“You sure you’re good to stand that long?” Kim asked, her voice a little strained. “Not that I was offering to join you!” she rapidly added. _ I mean, let’s talk first… _“I’m just checking because I don’t want you to fall.”

_ Any other time, I’d have a snappy comeback for that one, _ Trini thought. _ But I just don’t have it in me tonight. _

“I’ll be ok for a few. Just listen in case.” 

Kim nodded.

In less than 10 minutes, Trini returned in her clean pajamas. Her hair was damp but not wet, still, Kim untied it and dried it anyway while Trini sat on the bed. One hand started running through the long ombre locks, seeking the tangles and easing them out. Already groggy, Trini leaned into Kim and sighed. 

Slowly, Kim started to brush her friend’s hair with the nearby brush, taking her time to get it as smooth and soft as she could. She knew it would lull Trini back to sleep and while Kim herself never had this sort of comfort growing up, she had a feeling it would be appreciated. 

Once Trini’s hair was properly brushed, Kim carefully reset it in a loose bun in case the Latina got sick. She didn’t want it getting in the way; that was one of the worst things about having long hair, in Kim’s opinion. Everything becomes a huge mess once your long hair gets in the way.

After they crawled back into bed, Kim pulled a lethargic Trini to her chest. It was like moving a body pillow, no resistance. “You’re not usually this soft,” she remarked with a chuckle. 

“‘m not soft,” Trini protested. Kim’s gentle treatment of her had sent Trini back into a comfy half-asleep state. 

“Right now you have all the muscle tone of a cooked noodle,” the older girl teased affectionately. “Like a baby kitten.”

“‘m sick,” the badass whined into Kim’s chest.

Strong arms wrapped around her and held her tightly. “I know, hon. Rest, ok? I’ll be right here.”

Letting out a long breath, Trini nodded. “‘kay.” 

She fell asleep but unfortunately, thanks to the returning fever, she started to fall back into a similar nightmare from earlier. 

But, before it could grab hold:

“Trin, sweetie, I’m right here,” Kim told her gently. “Shhh,…it’s ok…” 

As disoriented as she was, Trini couldn’t be sure but she could almost swear she felt Kim kiss her cheek. It woke her a little more from the dream. She curled her hands into the front of Kim’s pajama shirt and pulled her closer, trying to bury herself into Kim.

Kim’s chest rumbled as she chuckled. “Much closer and you’ll be in my clothes with me.” The laughter stopped and the lithe body froze when one of Trini’s hands slipped down and under her top to seek out warm skin. It wrapped around her back where fingers dug in and Trini wiggled closer.

Unsatisfied, she let out an unhappy groan and shifted in place again.

“Are you cold?” Kim asked, her voice a bit breathy. Trini was too sick to appreciate the effect her touch was having.

“A little. Wanna be warmer. You’re hot.” Her nails dug in making Kim hiss softly. Trini didn’t care, she liked the heat Kim was giving off; it was soothing and it felt good. She just wanted to curl up with Kim and that heat, lock everything out, and go to sleep until she felt better.

“All right, give me a sec.” Wrapping herself around the smaller body as much as she could, Kim created a cocoon with the blankets around them, wrapping them up in an expert-level blanket burrito. “Better?” 

Trini sighed in contentment. The familiar scents of warm cinnamon, leather, and jasmine that always hung about the older girl were surrounding them beneath the blankets. Trini’s mind ticked off the causes: the leather smell was from her jacket and the jasmine was from her body wash, but the cinnamon scent was harder to explain. Kim always smelled a little of the spice or something close to it but Trini didn’t have a reason why. 

_ It’s strange where your mind goes… _ Trini’s thoughts faded in and out.

Usually, it was Kim who had a penchant for off-hand remarks about Trini’s scent but at the moment, after the nightmare, Trini had had the smells were grounding her to reality. Smells didn’t really translate in dreams and if they did, they weren’t this strong or solid. Or this safe.

“I’m sorry you’re sick and that it’s giving you more nightmares. That was a bad one, huh?” Trini nodded and Kim didn’t have to ask what it was about. “Well, I’m here now so she can’t get you,” she promised softly. “She won’t, ever. It’s ok to sleep.” She started humming a low, sweet tune. 

Trini felt herself relax even more at the familiar sound. “Were you asleep?” she asked around a yawn, the question coming unbidden.

“Hmm, dozing,” Kim admitted. 

It took some effort but Trini lifted her head to look at her. “Are you not sleeping?” 

The adoring look on Kim’s face made Trini’s chest ache. “You just slept over the other night and complained that I drooled on you. Shh, go to sleep.”

There were other questions she wanted to ask but she felt so sick that she didn’t have the strength. Putting her head back down against Kim’s chest, she let her friend’s humming and steady heartbeat sing her back to sleep. This time, thankfully without nightmares. 

  
  



	23. Skipping and Dodging

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TAGS: Language, angst, teenagers being teenagers, mental health issues, sadness.
> 
> Superheroes or not, the Rangers are still teenagers. As such, they don't always approach things calmly or logically. 
> 
> Tension ripples through the team when one Ranger skips training.  
Kim has an honest moment with Trini.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy.   
A long update to make up for the week break.   
I'm a little worried that Jason's behavior doesn't add up but then I remembered he's a teenager and that's normal. Lol
> 
> Enjoy!

After waiting for thirty minutes in the Pit to start training, Jason was ticked off. They had missed a few days training as a group thanks to the bug they all caught. It was the first afternoon that Zack, the last to fall sick, was feeling good enough to physically train again. Four out of five of them were ready to go but no one knew where the missing Ranger was and worse, no one except Jason seemed to care.

Leveling a glare in Trini’s direction, he finally snapped. “She’s late. Where is she?”

Playing hackysack with a small rock with Zack, Trini shrugged. “I dunno.”

Jason rolled his eyes. “Right.”

She arched an eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Do you think she got sick again?” Billy wondered, concerned. 

Kim had had by far the quickest and easiest time being sick. She slept through most of a day and bounced right back the next like it was nothing. Trini had spent the afternoon and early evening with her the day she got sick making sure to take as good care of Kim as the older girl had done for her.

Trini considered the brief brush with illness a small mercy. If nothing else wanted to go in Kim’s favor, at least that had. “Nah, she seemed fine at lunch, before she left. And I asked you a question,” she directed at Jason. “What do you mean, ‘right’? I don’t like your attitude or the tone.”

“This is just the tone of my voice,” Jason countered. “My attitude is annoyed that Kim isn’t here and doesn’t have the decency to text me to let me know…”

“That’s your problem,” Trini bit back. 

“... or to at least text you, like she normally would,” Jason finished. 

“Well, she didn’t,” Trini shrugged. “Kim dips in and out, you know that.”  _ I hate it. _

“Maybe she had an appointment and forgot to tell us?” Billy looked for a logical reason for Kim’s lateness. He wasn’t concerned, yet, but he didn’t want his friends to start fighting. He hated it when they did and it was a pointless waste of time and energy in his opinion.

“Where would she go?” Jason questioned. 

“Dude, I’m not her lawyer or her GPS,” Trini bit back.  _ Like I’d fucking tell you right now anyway…  _ she thought hotly, not liking Jason’s pissy mood.  _ If I knew…  _ “Kim’s a big girl, she can go where she wants when she wants. Did you text her again?”

“I have. She’s not answering,” he grumbled down at his phone. “You?”

“Same,” Trini answered blandly. “Oh well.”

Jason ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “Why’d she leave school?”

The rock Trini and Zack were kicking went zooming at Zack’s head; he had to quickly duck to avoid getting pinged in the forehead.. 

“Hey!” the tall teen protested. He went searching for a new one.

“Sorry,” Trini ground her teeth together. “Look, her classes rotated out so she went home. Probably took a nap. Like I said, I’m not her Mama.”

Truth was, she wasn’t any happier about Kim’s absence than Jason was. She didn’t know where the missing Ranger was either. Her last class was with Zack so she’d arrived with him instead of Kim. Kim’s schedule had let her go home early but that wasn’t any indication that she was planning on skipping Ranger training. She hadn’t said anything about it to Trini at lunch, either, which was the last time she’d heard from the older girl. Kim hadn’t answered her texts so she figured Kim took advantage of the early day and was napping; radio silence usually happened when Kim was asleep. 

And, apparently, when she decided to ditch training.

“Princess is playing hooky,” Zack sang with a laugh. “I’m shocked. Shocked I say!”

Narrowing her eyes, Trini huffed. “Cram it, jackass, or next game I’ll aim for an eye.”

“Ooo, touchy touchy,” Zack tsked, unimpressed. 

“Do we know if she’s home?” Billy asked innocently. 

“Nah, we swung by on the way here to check that she left and her car’s gone,” Zack explained. He let Trini decide between two rocks for their next game. “I’ll bring a ball next time.”

“There better not be a next time,” Jason muttered hotly. 

_ Oh get over yourself, _ Trini wanted to snap back at him but she was too pissed at herself for being duped by Kim’s ‘normal’ behavior to be too mad with him. 

Common sense told her that she couldn’t predict everything but she felt angry for missing the cues that Kim was feeling worse than she put on. Given how emotionally cagey and guarded the half-Indian was, she was a hard read even for Trini at times but it was getting easier. Or, at least, she thought it was. Despite paying extra attention to Kim’s mood, Trini had still missed the signs that the visit by Kim’s parents was cutting Kim deeply enough to provoke a no-show and apparent ghosting. 

Not that there had been a lot to notice. Kim was somewhat sad and subdued over the weekend and into that week but that was to be expected. After the dinner Kim had had with her parents and the disappointment of them missing Diwali with her, her emotions were entirely in context. That’s what threw Trini off; most of Kim’s emotions over the weekend were right and what she considered normal. Kim was sad and hurt but smiled and laughed while watching movies and hanging out with her and Zack. Her empathic link was closed off but Trini had been able to feel the pit of disappointment that sat in Kim’s chest the entire weekend. 

She could still feel it now through the other white noise on Kim’s end.

The feeling was probably worse than usual since her mother and father would be missing the important holiday with her. 

All that perceived normalcy had been an act if not a lie yet it was hard to feel angry at Kim for ghosting. It was understandable how the disappointing time with her parents might make Kim fall into her pattern of closing in instead of reaching out. 

_ Her own parents can’t be bothered with her so she probably feels like she’s a bother to me. Or worries she is.  _ Trini huffed.  _ I wish I was getting through to her faster but every time I make progress, something ruins it. It’s a good thing I’m a stubborn bitch. _

Still, she mentally kicked herself. The first instant she was able to run, Kim took it and Trini never even considered the possibility she would. Almost a week had passed since the awkward dinner between the four of them and Trini naively believed that the worst of any reaction was over.

_ Idiot. I’m an idiot. _

The thing was, she could already hear Kim’s voice telling her that it wasn’t her fault, she wasn’t the older girl’s guardian. It wasn’t her job to watch out for Kim’s mood swings. Besides, Trini had been sick and feeling off that week; it was ok to take care of herself. 

Unfortunately, that didn’t make Trini feel any better. If anything, knowing Kim would absolve her of everything made her feel worse.

“Unacceptable,” Jason growled. 

Trini rolled her eyes. “No one’s dying; calm your tits.”

“Maybe she’s just late?” Billy wondered. He didn’t sound like he believed himself.

“She does run on Princess time,” Zack winked trying to lighten the mood.

Jason was unamused. “Late is five, ten minutes. She’s at 36 minutes late now,” he sighed. “If this were a job, she’d be fired.”

“If this were a job, we’d be getting paid,” Zack retorted. “Cha-ching!”

“Heroes don’t get paid,” Billy protested. “That’s not how it works.”

“You seriously have no idea where she is?” Jason’s tone implied disbelief. “No idea at all?”

“Maybe she just didn’t feel like training?” Zack suggested. “I don’t.”

The rock dropped beside Trini who was too pissed at Jason to care. “Dude, what did I say?” she hissed angrily. “You calling me a liar?”

“No! It’s just, usually where one of you goes, the other follows…” Jason tried to backtrack.

“What does that mean? What, Kim and I can’t function without each other or something? We’re what? Codependent? Because I’m standing right here, big boy. I don’t see her anywhere.”

A small voice in her head warned Trini not to be too defensive but she was insulted by the idea that the two of them were codependent in any way.

“No, it’s just you usually know where each other are,” Jason tried. “That’s all.”

“Right,” Trini snorted. Her glare didn’t lessen. “I don’t believe you either.”

“I… And it doesn’t work that way, Zack. You don’t just not show up,” Jason tried to divert the conversation away from the pissed-off Yellow Ranger.

“The grammar in that sentence,” Billy started nervously. His eyes darted around his friends; the tension level in the room was making his anxiety level rise. “We can always start without her.”

“Yeah, there was no reason to waste the last half hour,” Zack added. “We coulda been doing stuff.”

“I had some things planned today for all of us,” Jason complained. “We’ve gotta get back in shape, get going. Get back into the routine.” He smacked his hands and rubbed them together, in the mood to get into motion. “I’ve been working on some drills…”

“Dude, I’m not out of shape,” Zack argued. 

“I’m not even sure we can become out of shape given our enhanced physiology,” Billy said thoughtfully. 

“See? A few days off isn’t going to turn us into a bunch of slubs. Chill,” Zack finished.

While they talked, Trini took out her phone and shot Kim another text but like the other few she’d sent, it remained unread. 

_ Come on, Kim, answer me before Jason has a stroke or something. _

“I know we’re not,” Jason agreed, “but we miss a day here and there and it becomes a few more days here and there until you get lazy and complacent. That’s when things go wrong.”

“We’ve only been together as a group for like, 3 months, dude. We haven’t had time to get lazy.”

“That doesn’t matter; we’re a team and there’s a way things are supposed to be done…” the Red Ranger ranted. “That includes letting people know if you’re skipping training. Otherwise, it’s rude.”

“I’m just saying that maybe she got tired of going through the same drills every afternoon, like we all are,” Zack cut him off, “and is taking a mental health day. Nbd.”

“But it is a big deal. All right, how about this? How do we know she’s not in trouble or that Rita doesn’t have her?” Jason argued, his concern overriding his anger at Kim for a moment. 

“What? You think she’s gonna text us to tell us?” Trini mocked venomously. “Hey guys, been kidnapped by Rita. Send help and donuts, love Kim?”

“The link would let us know,” Billy said evenly before that argument could get going. “Or Alpha would.”

“Yeah, man, I mean, I can barely go on a date without you four sending me shit in the group text,” Zack reminded Jason. “We’d feel it if she were in danger, even if she does shut down her end.”

“They’re right, we’d know,” Trini agreed firmly. She left off the part where she knew for a fact that  _ she’d _ know if Kim were in trouble. Right now, she was just getting the customary blank feeling from Kim, which she disliked. But since the two of them could tell when the other was having a nightmare from miles away, she was generally sure she’d know if Kim were in true danger. 

“In theory,” Jason insisted. “There’s a lot about the Ranger link that we still don’t know. And Kim screws around with her end of it. She can’t just disappear or not show up to training like this.” He ruffled at his hair in agitation; his football teammates never did this when he was captain there. “Not without telling someone, not anymore. She knows that; you both do and I expect better from both of you.”

“Me?” Trini nearly roared. “I’m standing right here and got here when you did so you can take my name right outta your fool mouth.” Stalking up to the tall blonde, she stopped short of jabbing her finger into his chest. “Don’t go bitching at me like I’m her fucking mother or her keeper,” she said angrily. “I’m not responsible for her. I’m her friend, not her wife.”

_ Not her keeper… I’m not responsible for her…  _

Her words smacked her in the face, only making her angrier. 

Only backing down slightly, Jason repeated the obvious. “All right, fine, but you usually know where she is.”

“Well, I don’t know right now! Don’t assume shit. I haven’t tagged her with a tracker. There’s no ‘find Kim Hart’ app on my fucking phone!”

“Whoa, whoa,” Zack stepped in with a hand on her shoulder to calm her down. “Time out.” She relaxed slightly as Zack put room between her and Jason. “She’s right, Jay. Get off her ass.”

Jason let out a long, slow breath to calm himself down. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m way too wound up about this.” He shook out his limbs, trying to shake loose the way he felt personally insulted by Kim’s no-show. 

Billy jumped in with an idea. “I could probably find her with the Ship’s scanners,” he started. “Our watches and coins work as trackers if you use the scanners correctly.”

“See? Have Billy look instead of expecting me to play Google Maps,” Trini suggested. 

“It is much easier, Jason,” Billy added helpfully. “And much less frustrating. The computer can also track her medical condition. I’m fairly certain that if one of us is injured, the system will alert at least Alpha and Zordon if not all of us. We would know.”

“See?” Trini’s hazel eyes stared into Jason’s blue, challenging him. “No reason to panic.”

“Yeah well, I don’t like it,” Jason insisted. “We have training planned for a reason.”

_ Oh my God, what is he, 5 today? _ Trini thought angrily.

“I know that,” Trini insisted back at him. “You’re preaching to the fucking choir, man. Your problem is with Kim so why don’t you just tell her when you see her and leave me out of it.”

“Trust me, I plan to,” Jason declared. 

Zack and Billy exchanged a look; if Jason dropped it there, they might be able to salvage the afternoon. But if he kept poking at Trini, there was no telling where or how bad it would go.

Unfortunately, for all his leadership skills Jason wasn’t always the quickest with picking up on social cues, like when to let a subject drop.

“We are a team now and there are expectations that come from that. We have a job to do here that we can’t afford to screw up,” he fell into the routine of a locker room pep talk. “We have to train and think of the bigger picture, the greater good and that means putting others before ourselves. It means working as a single entity towards a single goal and to do that, we have to be on the same page, moving in the same direction. I’ve got some notes and ideas I want to go over with everyone; I did this thing when I was captain of the football team…”

“We’re not the football team,” Zack began to say.

“But it’s the same thing,” Jason countered. “We’re a team, a unit and we need to learn how to work together with each other’s movements, our idiosyncrasies. We need to learn each other’s mindsets during the game- er- battle and everything else.”

“Give me a break,” Trini scorned him. 

“Look, whether it’s trying to win a game or beat someone like Rita, we have to be on the same wavelength or it’s not going to work,” Jason said matter-of-factly. He was only a step and a half away from condescending.

The tone made Trini snarkier. “All right already, we get it. You’re pissed at Kim, she should have texted you. Ok, fine. You can quit your bitchin’.” 

Crossing his arms over his chest, Jason glared at the smallest Ranger. “Just because you don’t take anything seriously and let Kim get away with shit doesn’t mean I will.”

“Oh no,” Billy sighed.

“Oh shit,” Zack swore and facepalmed. “Stupid, that was stupid.”

“Excuse me?” Trini’s voice dropped to a dangerous low tone. Like the rumble of thunder.

Jason ignored it all and continued. “You can’t keep making excuses for her and Kim can’t keep being the person she used to be. None of us can. Being a Ranger means not just taking off whenever we want. It means thinking of the group first instead of yourself. It means Kim can’t be so impulsive or selfish anymore. She can’t keep doing the things she’s always done- like the rest of us aren’t here. She’s got to learn to think beyond herself.” 

“What did you just say?” Trini challenged, enraged. “Making excuses for her? Selfish?” Of all the things he could have accused Kim of, Trini couldn’t comprehend selfishness. “Kim? Selfish? Impulsive I’ll give you but selfish, really? For not calling you about training? After what she…” she had to catch herself. She couldn’t tell them why Kim might have ditched them; it wasn’t her business to.

“After she what?” Jason shot back. 

Clenching her hands into fists, Trini hissed air out through her teeth angrily.  _ Too close. _

She flipped it around. “Seems to me you’re the selfish one, throwing a fucking hissy fit because Kim didn’t show up and it hurt your fragile ego. Because she’s the only one of us that’s a problem, right?” she mocked. “She’s the only one of us acting like an asshole today?”

“No. Of course not. We all have to be better if we’re going to be the Rangers that Angel Grove and the planet need,” the team leader corrected himself. “Even me.”

“And you’ve got the plan to get us there huh?” she asked with one hand on her hip.

“I hope so,” Jason agreed with a nod.

“Since I wanna punch you in the mouth right now instead of listening to or following you anywhere, I’d say you’re building some great leadership skills there, Red Ranger,” Trini scoffed and gave him a weak pair of thumbs up. “10/10. Can’t wait to follow you into another flaming abyss. You pompous dumbass.” 

Knowing that he’d pushed too far by being pig-headed and impatient, Jason took a breath and tried to reason with the youngest Ranger. “Trini, I just… Anything could be out there. We don’t know how much of Rita’s magic is still out there. We’re not ready-”

Unfortunately, he’d already set her into defensive mode and she wasn’t in the mood to cool down. “Don’t move the goalposts, dude. She didn’t text you, that’s on her but she’s not texting me either so stop taking it personally.”

“I’m not,” Jason protested.

“Yeah, you are,” Trini countered.  _ God, he’s tiring me out worse than fighting with my little brothers does. _ “It’s a shit way she deals with things and I don’t like it either but you can’t expect her to just change overnight.  _ We _ can’t.”

“I’m just saying that we’re still beginners here and if something attacks her and she’s out there alone…” Jason stubbornly insisted although he’d lost much of his ire.

“Oh my God, let it go!” she yelled in frustration. “You made your fucking point!”

“You’re being melodramatic, Jay. Kim’s a superhero; she can look after herself for a few hours,” Zack tried. “Rita’s out in space somewhere if she even survived that epic pimp slap.”

“We have no reason to believe she didn’t,” Billy said with a frown. He disliked hating people but he really came close to hating Rita Repulsa. “She didn’t have any critical injuries and she’s already lived for 65 million years after surviving a meteor strike.”

“Ug, I didn’t want to know that,” Zack groaned. “Tough old bitch.”

“See? We’re not safe,” Jason nearly gloated. Trini flipped him off. “Trini,” he sighed. 

“Hey, can we just calm down?” Billy asked gently. “Kim should have texted you but we would know if she was in trouble and we can track her with the sensors. You’re being uncharacteristically unreasonable, Jason.” 

“I am not!” Jason protested, insulted.

“‘Am not! Are too!’ Yeah, that argument helps,” Zack mocked him.

“Jason, I’m not sure why but you’re behaving like Kim intentionally means to insult or undermine you,” Billy explained plainly, “when you know she’d never do that. There has to be a good reason why she’s not here. We only have to figure out what that reason, or possible reasons, is.” 

“She’s stubborn, that’s what,” Jason said off-handedly. 

Ignoring him, Billy looked to Trini. “Why would she skip training? Was she upset about anything?”

_ At least he’s smart enough to ask the right questions, even if I won’t answer them _ , Trini thought ruefully.

Swallowing a groan, Trini rocked back on her heels. She didn’t want to tell the guys about the recent visit by Kim’s parents and the stress it put on the older girl; that was Kim’s business. Problem was, it was undoubtedly why the Pink Ranger was currently MIA. It was also a reason why Trini was as short-tempered as she was since she knew Kim was upset and was irritated at her own powerlessness. 

Not only could she not help make Kim’s situation with her parents any better, but she also couldn’t tell their friends about it and gain them more support either. Stuck between a rock and a hard place, Trini’s temper flared which only made things worse.

“There’s a question you should have asked earlier,” she snarled at Jason, hurling her anger at the whole situation at the tall blonde.

“Well, is there?” he challenged back. He started to back down; he hadn’t really thought much about  _ why _ Kim wasn’t there, why she would ditch without telling anyone. He was too focused on the fact that she wasn’t there and how that made  _ him _ look as their leader. 

Leading the Rangers was so much bigger than leading the football or baseball teams; lives were literally at stake and it terrified him. He didn’t understand why the others didn’t see things the same way he did.

“Jason, you don’t ask like that,” Billy chided him. “It’s unnecessarily confrontational.” 

“She hasn’t had the greatest week, thanks for asking,” Trini responded cuttingly. “Asking after you’ve basically called me a liar and other bullshit for 10 minutes.”

Jason flinched.  _ Crap _ . “What happened?” His entire attitude changed to one of concern.

“Oh, now you care beyond how  _ you _ feel?” the Latina taunted him. “What’s that like?”

“Trini, I…” Jason sighed. “I didn’t call you a liar…”

“Save it,” Trini snapped. 

“She seemed a little down Sunday,” Zack admitted, taking the attention off of Trini. He hoped it gave her a chance to calm down. “Everything ok?” The way he asked made it clear he wasn’t looking for an in-depth answer at the moment but that he was there for Trini to talk to when she needed him about whatever was going on.

“Yeah. I mean, I didn’t think she felt so bad that she’d skip today. She didn’t mention ditching to me,” Trini admitted. 

That stung a bit; she thought they were closer than that. Then again, if she thought about it, she wasn’t exactly ready to share everything that went on in her head with Kim either. They both had a long way to go. The difference was in how they avoided dealing with their emotions. Trini went quiet and closed down until she suppressed them; Kim shut down too but she also took off and pushed away until she outran them. Neither method worked. 

“She must have really wanted to be alone,” Billy pointed out sagely. “Her aura feels sad but safe. Do you want me to go track her, Jason? I don’t think we need to but I will if you want to make sure she’s ok.”

“Yeah, if you don’t mind, Billy,” Jason confirmed while Trini shook her head. “At least so we know where she is and we can go get her if we want to.”

Billy nodded. “All right.” He smiled at Trini. “Say hi to Kim when you see her.” 

It was said in such a matter-of-fact way as if Billy just knew Trini would sort it out and everything would be ok that Trini’s own nerves eased a bit. Unlike when Jason made a similar assumption, Billy’s statement didn’t make it feel like Kim was an obligation- like Trini was responsible for moving Kim from one spot to another like a mannequin, not a friend. Instead, it was like he simply felt that it was natural for Trini to be the person to check on Kim and keep her safe, not control her which was the vibe she was (possibly mis)reading from Jason. It was a lot of confidence for the sensitive teen to put in her and Billy didn’t do such things lightly. If anything, it made Trini more determined not to disappoint him. 

“I will,” she gave him a small smile back, “when she pops up again.” He nodded in understanding and headed for the Command Center. 

Like always, interacting with Billy however briefly did a lot to temper her mood. She rolled her neck to let out some tension and looked at Jason. “Look, dude, I hate that she’s ghosting us right now too but… it’s a fine line between helping and hurting- between getting her to respond and pissing her off more.”

“What do you mean?” Jason asked. “You think trying to go find her will make it worse?”

“Seriously?” the Latina snorted. “Yeah, it probably will. Dude, you really need to get to know your Rangers or you can’t lead shit.”

Blue eyes turn icy cold at the jab. “I’m trying but when they don’t show up for training or let anyone know where they are, it’s kinda hard.” 

“I gotta agree with T, Jase,” Zack said, reaching out to give Trini a noogie and missing as she dodged the grab. His easy-going attitude was undisturbed by either moody friend; he found them both ridiculous. “Let Kim have some time to herself. Shit, we’re constantly in each other’s faces between school and training and just hanging out. You know, you four are like, the bulk of my social life and it’s making me look really lame.”

“You are really lame,” Trini shot back. 

“Lies! I raise all your social profiles by at least two levels.”

“You aren’t that far from the ground to start with.” Trini teased him.

“Ouch! Crazy Girl, you wound me!”

“Not yet today.”

“We have scheduled training for a reason,” the head Ranger interrupted somewhat impatiently. He was incredibly unhappy and not a little insulted, feeling as though his leadership was being questioned. If he couldn’t even get his Rangers to show up to training, how could he lead them? “If you’re not going to show up, you’ve got to at least text and let me know. This is a team effort and plus, it’s just rude not to.”

“Ok, fine. Tell her that when you see her,” Trini said dismissively for the second time. “Stop repeating yourself.”

Jason swallowed a growl and a few choice swears. “I’m going to but we have to find her first.”

“Let her come home on her own,” Zack suggested. “Look, she couldn’t have like, left town or gotten very far. Let’s just wait her out.” He checked his watch. “Give her time to miss us first.”

“Yeah,” Trini agreed. “I mean, she knows we’re looking. She also knows we’ve got the link and she’s not blocking her end, it’s just dull like usual. You’ve checked her there, right?” Jason nodded. “Me too. She’s aware we’re wondering where she is but is  _ choosing _ to be quiet. She wants to be left alone. Let’s try to respect that for, I dunno, at least another hour?” 

This didn’t mean, of course, that Trini didn’t intend to go search the other girl out the moment she was free from any training obligations. She simply refused to be ‘ordered’ to go look for her friend. 

Jason was deep in thought.

“Jason, she’s left the link open instead of shutting us out. To me that says ‘I’m here, I’m fine. Leave me alone’. If you go looking for her or send us out it’ll seem like you don’t trust her to take care of herself. If she thinks that then you’re gonna have a bigger problem than her not texting you,” Trini finished with a warning. 

“Seriously,” Zack nodded. “Princess doesn’t trust people and I don’t blame her given her past friends. If you lose that trust, you’re not getting it back. This team won’t work for shit then, not if you lose Kim. Not if she feels you’re babying her either.”

“I get that, I do. But this behavior should upset you as much as it does me.”

“What is your fucking problem today?” Trini yelled at him. “We get you’re upset already. Stop beating a dead horse.  _ Dios _ .”

“But it doesn’t,” Zack reminded him, “because we’re not so high-strung or hellbent on winning the championship. Dude, calm down. She’s upset and took off. Ok, be mad if you want but talk to her about it when she gets back. But shut up to us about it.” 

“Fine,” Jason grumbled. 

“Man, who pissed in your Corn Flakes this morning because you are out of control,” Zack ragged on him. 

“Oh fuck off, Zack. You don’t know shit, ok? Why don’t you try leading sometime and then we’ll see how you like people ignoring you and your rules,” Jason said petulantly. 

“Oh if only,” Zack wished, “but for some reason, the Red Coin chose your whiny ass so you’re stuck with it and we’re stuck with you.” He walked a few paces away before he stopped and looked towards Jason again. He didn’t sound angry but a lot of his usual humor was gone. 

“Imma just gonna say that as far as I know, greatness in a team starts with its leader. You want us to be great, Jason? I’m sure we can be but first,  _ you _ need to be better. But that’s just my opinion. What do I know, right?”

Jason hung his head, suitably chastised. The entire afternoon got way out of hand and he could see now how his ego and hurt feelings had been driving his behavior.

“I’m… I’m not used to this, to the team not listening,” he admitted softly. “I’ve never had this kind of responsibility before, not on my own. You know? I always had the coaches for backup or the threat of running laps or throwing someone off the team to keep people in line. Now it’s just me and the stakes are so much higher.”

Zack shrugged. “I get that. But you need to figure it out and do it in a way that doesn’t make all of us want to punch your face in. You’re at 50% of the team right now.”

“Shit.”

“Only 40% but he’s still right about the rest,” Trini corrected. Then, she rolled her eyes at herself. “I think I’m spending too much time with Kim and Billy.” Thankfully, her weak joke broke some of the lingering tension. A full-blown argument between Zack and Jason would probably come to punches and Trini wasn’t in the mood.

“Speaking of Billy, I’m gonna go find him and tell him he doesn’t need to find Kim,” Jason said, taking the out Trini gave him. “Would you mind, Trini, making sure she’s ok? I’m gonna just call training for today.”

“Nah, I don’t mind,” Trini said honestly. “Being asked is ok; I still get a choice. Just don’t demand or assume I’ll do shit is all. Or that I automatically know where she is all the time. We have separate lives, you know.”

“I get that,” Jason nodded. “I’m sorry and I’ll work on it.”

“And I’ll talk to Kim about letting someone know when she’s gonna ditch,” Trini offered. “To at least let me know.”

“Thanks,” Jason smiled.

“Yeah. But I’m still pissed at you,” she warned.

“Yeah, I understand,” Jason gave her a sheepish smile. “Hey, do you think you could handle getting a bite to eat with me and Billy?” he directed his question at Zack who had lingered instead of leaving the room. “If I haven’t totally pissed you off, I mean. Cuz I totally understand if I did.”

“You buying?”

“Duh. I mean, who invites and then doesn’t pay?”

“Him,” Trini laughed, pointing at Zack. “Invited me out for pizza and his broke ass was lucky I had cash on me since he’d ordered and eaten half of one before I got there.”

“That’s cold, Crazy Girl, spilling my secrets like that.”

“I should have made you stay and do the dishes.”

“So cold.”

“Come on, man, interested? I’m trying to buy your affection back,” Jason joked with his tall friend. “We’ll go to Nicky’s and if you want, we can get an order to go to take home to your Mom. My way of saying I’m sorry for what I said and that I’m listening to what you have to say. Maybe the three of us can talk about some stuff? Team stuff?” Zack rolled his eyes and made a face. “Or not! We can just hang out.”

“Dude, we’ll talk about whatever. Sounds great,” Zack agreed to the plan. “You gonna go hunt down Princess?” he asked Trini.

“‘Hunt down’ seems aggressive,” Trini shrugged. 

“‘Nonchalantly seek out and make it seem like you happened upon’ Princess?” Zack tried again with a smirk. 

Clicking with her tongue, Trini pointed at him. “Much more accurate. Catch ya later, losers.” She picked up her stuff and started to leave.

“Don’t you want to know if Billy’s found her and get the info?” Jason asked.

Not bothering to look behind her, Trini shoved her hands in her pockets and headed towards the mirror pool to go topside. 

“Nope, don’t need it. I can find her without it.”

Behind her, Zack howled with laughter at the incredulous look on Jason’s face.

*

In spite of her words to Jason, an hour and a half later, Trini still hadn’t caught up with Kim. What she had done was to eliminate a few of Kim’s usual haunting places and called the older girl a few times. She’d followed what she could from the faint pull of Kim’s aura through the Ranger link and knew she was close but now that she was, Kim was gumming up the link to throw her off.

_ Stubborn ass _ , Trini sighed to herself. Since it was getting dark and she didn’t want to be out too late (which would end with her grounded) she tried Kim’s phone again.

To her surprise, Kim picked up on the third ring.

“Mmmm?” the brunette barely greeted over the line. Immediately, Trini’s ears picked up the sound of waves crashing against rocks so her feet turned her to the left and she headed for the shore.

Trying to play it cool, she asked absently, “Hey, where you at?”

“Out.” Kim was clearly unmoved and not in any better a mood than she was when she decided to disappear.

Knowing that it was pointless to try and outsmart Kim or act like they both didn't know why she was calling, Trini cut to the chase. “No, I’m being serious. You skipped out on training. Where are you?”

“I’m being serious too. I’m out.”

Rolling her eyes, Trini shook her head.  _ Great, Brickwall Kim. This is going to be difficult. _ “Kim,” she tried slowly, “you can’t just take off…”

“Why not?” Kim cut her off. “I always have before. What’s the big deal?” The other Ranger’s voice was stretched thin like the idea that her patterns had to change was deeply distressing and annoying. 

The cool tone was unfamiliar. “Uh… Things are different now?” Trini realized that sounding like she was asking a question wasn’t helping her to make her point and cleared her throat. “I mean, there’s alotta new stuff in your life that you have to consider, now.”

A long groan came over the line. “Ug. I’m not gonna just change the way I live my life because I found a shiny pink rock, Trini.” The dismissive tone was so clear that Trini would swear she could hear Kim rolling her eyes as she spoke. “I come and go as I please. That’s how it is. It’s not like it’s ever mattered or anyone’s cared before.”

“But I care,” Trini rushed and then blushed. Grateful that Kim couldn’t see her, she went on, “and you know it, so stop being a jerk.” She heard Kim sigh. “Yeah, you know I’m right. Now you’ve got me and the guys; we’re gonna worry if you just drop off the map for like, hours at a time or a whole day. Especially when we have training you’re supposed to be at.”

The other end of the phone was quiet for a moment although Trini could hear her friend breathing. 

“Come on, if I suddenly didn’t show and didn’t answer your texts, wouldn’t you worry?” she tried. “Be honest.” When she heard Kim huff, she knew she’d gotten through to her.

“It was one training,” Kim complained, “not the end of the world.”

Something told her that the wrong tone of voice would send Kim running even further away. Keeping her voice even, Trini gently countered her. “A text message to let me know you weren’t coming wouldn’t have killed you.” A beat. “And it would have prevented Jason from having a full-on meltdown.”

“Fiiiine,” the older girl groaned. “I’ll text next time. You’re a pushy brat sometimes,” Kim declared. She wasn’t mad or trying to be mean; she stated it like it was a fact. And her natural British accent started to peek out.

A smirk pulled at Trini’s lips. “You have no idea.”

“I bet. How long until you get here?”

Trini came to a stop where she was. “Huh?”

“Please, like I’m not supposed to know you’re headed in my direction. Your aura is like a flashlight shining on you from God, Trini. Sometimes it’s all I can see,” Kim laughed. “It doesn’t tell me distance though. Have you gotten over the second fence yet? The really rusty one?”

“Yeah, lost my beanie halfway over though,” Trini complained as she brushed it off. “Zack’s been stealing them and his big-ass head stretched it out.” 

“Ok, just follow the driveway up to the path and then the path out to me. You’re not that far.” Unceremoniously, Kim hung up the phone.

Looking at her cell for a moment, Trini arched an eyebrow. “Nice manners, Princess. Bye.”

Following Kim’s directions, she followed the overgrown dirt driveway up a way until she came to a worn down and partially collapsed cottage on the edge of a small beachside cove. Kim was standing on the rocks just shy of the water's edge, looking out over the waves.

Trini walked up beside her and looked around at the area, taking in the view under the dimming sky. “It’s nice here.”

Kim murmured her agreement.

“The cottage is pretty run-down though.”

“It was the lighthouse keeper’s house. The lighthouse was washed away years ago in a massive storm although it’d been abandoned before then since it was unsafe. I used to come here once in a while. Been ages though.”

“You used to jump those fences before you were a Ranger?” Trini wondered. She whistled when Kim nodded. “Impressive.”

“Meh,” Kim shrugged one shoulder. “When I couldn’t jump it, I could usually find a way around or one time with Ty we cut through the fence.” Trini’s stomach burned at the mention of Kim’s ex. “Got caught that time. Ty got a ticket.” Trini immediately felt better.

“Good.”

Laughing, Kim gave her a gentle shove in the shoulder. “He was so angry! I think his father made him pay it too. As a sort of life-lesson.” 

“Even better,” Trini gloated. 

“Yeah, it was,” Kim reminisced. “This was a huge hang-out place when I was a freshman and sophomore; before you moved here probably. The bunch of us used to sneak out here using some backtrails but the park service eventually closed those down so no one could get through. They put motion cameras up too.”

Trini jumped a little, alarmed.

“The cameras are long gone. Stolen,” Kim explained. “Most of us stopped coming up here when it became more of a place for drug dealers to hang out and do their thing or for the homeless to camp out. It got dangerous instead of fun. Then, someone tried to burn the cottage down, someone else got stabbed another time, and there was someone falling off the rocks, needing a rescue like, once a week.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah, with all that, the locked gates and cameras going up and the park rangers and police checking it out all the time, we abandoned it for somewhere else. I barely remember where at this point. Should be an indication of how much fun it was, I suppose.”

The soft bitter tone that laced the words made Trini’s throat tight. It was an indication that Kim was turning against herself again, possibly taking her parents absences as being her fault.

“Why’d you come out here today if it’s not safe?” Trini asked curiously. “And off limits.”

“I don’t have to be afraid of anything up here now,” Kim shrugged. “Not even falling in. I used to enjoy just looking out over the water so I came out here.” She sighed sadly and the forlorn sound hit Trini in the chest. “It’s not the same though.”

“What isn’t? Why?” She searched the older girl’s face, trying to understand what Kim was looking at, what she was seeing that Trini wasn’t.

What she wasn’t saying.

“Nothing. Doesn’t matter,” Kim told her and the Latina felt like she’d missed something important. 

“Yes, it doe…”

“How pissed was Jason?”

_ I need to be careful how I do this or I’ll chase her even farther away _ , Trini realized with a frown. 

Humor usually worked the best at disarming Kim while keeping her feeling secure at the same time. Right now, she reminded Trini of a skittish bird so she wanted to keep the mood between them as calm as possible for as long as possible.   
“Ha, I’d say somewhere between flipping a table and hiding under his bed crying,” she smirked. 

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, he took it as an affront to his leadership and manhood.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Kim shook her head. “My head’s just not in it today. It was nothing personal.”

“That’s what I told him, kinda.” The suspicious and slightly betrayed look on Kim’s face had her mouth moving fast. “I didn’t tell him like, why you weren’t there! You know, about your parents being around. You know I wouldn’t. I just said something like you had a rough weekend or a shitty day or something. They don’t know anything else.” 

Kim nodded, accepting the other girl at her word. “Thanks for covering for me. You’re right; I should’ve texted you, at least.”

“Yeah, you should have” Trini agreed. 

It wasn’t at all judgmental, just honest and Kim wondered if Trini would ever know how much she appreciated little things like that. After years of having her every move judged and scrutinized by her friends and family like she was under a microscope, it was refreshing and unbelievably relaxing to escape it with Trini’s easy friendship. 

‘Easy’ was relative because Kim had yet to meet anyone who challenged her in the ways her best friend did. Trini didn’t sugarcoat (much) and didn’t shy away from being truthful while never becoming mean or cruel. Many times she said the things Kim needed to hear, whether the Pink Ranger wanted to hear them or not. Trini kept shaking her loose from her comfort zone and Kim both hated and loved her for it. 

“I deserve that,” she observed.

“Yup, cuz otherwise Jason is gonna go all worst-case-scenario and jump down everyone else’s throat. It’s not a good look for him.”

“What did he do?”

“God, he went all ‘where’s my daughter’,” she imitated Liam Neason, badly, but it made Kim grin, “and wanted me to tell him where you were like I personally hid you somewhere.”

“Ah, you were holding me for ransom?”

“The way he made it sound, yeah,” Trini agreed. “I told him I haven’t put a tracker on you yet so back the fuck off.”

“Yet,” Kim laughed. 

“Yeah well,” Trini started.  _ Don’t tempt me.  _ “We really got into it when he basically accused me of lying about not knowing where you were.” Kim rolled her eyes. “Then he started in on the whole ‘she could be hurt’ or ‘Rita might get her’...”

“Oh my God, he did not,” Kim groaned, disbelieving.

“He did. It was kinda ridiculous.”

“Does he not understand that the link would let you know? I mean, none of us can get the hiccups without the rest knowing most of the time. I think you’d notice if I was suddenly surprised by Rita. Hell, my fear would probably make us all shit ourselves if I were alone.”

Trini shook off the memory of the fact that no one had noticed when she was attacked by Rita in her room. Zordon had explained to her that the link hadn’t fully formed between the five of them so other than feeling some nausea and anxiety at the same time (which they reported later), her fellow Rangers had no idea what was happening to her.

Shaking her head to clear it of the unpleasant memory, Trini turned back to hear Kim muttering under her breath about not being able to properly fight her way out of a wet paper bag by herself.

Which was an utter lie. Or a deeply cutting self-deprecating put-down that Kim was using for humorous effect- something Trini was hearing too often. 

But that was a subject that could wait for another day as a lingering doubt occurred to Trini. “Would we, though?” Kim turned to look at her for a moment. “Feel it if you were attacked, I mean. Your end of the link is usually… dull, I guess is the best word.”

“I try to keep some stuff to myself, sure, but trust me, I wouldn’t be able to hide that kinda sheer terror,” Kim shook her head. “If that bitch drops in on me, I’m gonna be screaming for help on all frequencies. Zordon’s team will feel it 65 million years ago. I can’t take her on alone. Not and live, anyway. So there’s that.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing.” Kim looked out over the ocean. “The wind is making the water rough.” It was a pointless thing to say and it hung in the air between them for a few incredibly awkward seconds. “Uh, yeah…”

The off-hand comment was verbal proof that Kim’s mood had truly tanked and it had made Trini nauseated. She feared and hated hearing her best friend saying such self-destructive things.

“Then I guess it’s a good thing that that bitch is in space or on the moon, right?” she said back a little fiercely. “Not that I’d let you face her alone. Not gonna happen.”

That earned her a half-smile. “That’s good to know.”

“And if she did drop in on you suddenly, I’d be there like that,” she snapped her fingers together. “I’ll be there so fast she’ll think it was teleportation.” 

Kim laughed. “I don’t doubt it. I really don’t.”

“Good, you shouldn’t.” Trini stepped a little closer. “Out of curiosity, though; how do you do it?”

Taken off-guard, Kim frowned. “What do you mean?”

“How do you close off your end of the Ranger link so well? I can constantly ‘feel’ the guys, like a background noise, I guess. But you’re different; more of a vague hum?”

“Like you don’t do the same thing?” the taller Ranger snorted. “The emotionally constipated kitten.” Trini glared. “Your end of the link can be like hearing underwater. All muted and murky.”

“No, I mean, yeah I know but you can still feel my emotions, right?” 

Kim nodded in response. “More or less.”

“Right. We can all dull our ends to some point and Zordon’s teaching us how to quiet the link if we need it but you can almost blank yourself out, since day one. I feel you but, I dunno how to explain it,” Trini complained, frustrated. “It’s like you’re there but I can’t always get an actual emotion from you. It’s weird.” 

“Sounds right,” Kim cheeked and then blushed at Trini’s disapproving look. “What? I’m weird, you’ve said so yourself.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Trini huffed. “And don’t deflect.”

Letting out a tired grunt, Kim gave in. “I know. Look, I’m not always doing it on purpose, ok?” At Trini’s unbelieving look, she shrugged. “What? I’m not but other times, Trin, I hate not having my privacy from everyone. Sometimes I just want to keep things to myself. Everything else feels invasive.”

There was no denying that truth especially for someone as private as Trini. The empathic link between the five left her feeling like she exposed against her will, vulnerable and weak. Having emotions didn’t make you that way, she knew that intellectually but it was hard to reconcile the new ‘emotional nakedness’ with her need to protect herself, her sense of self-preservation. She’d gone from loner wallflower to a team member attached, however intangibly, to 4 other members. There was no such thing as alone-time anymore.

“I can get that, I can, cuz I feel the exact same way,” Trini pointed out gently. “I hate the way the link leaves me feeling open. I’m not a sharer and I don’t like feeling my own emotions, never mind 4 other people’s. But, there’s a reason why we can feel each other’s emotions and presence. It’s a protective thing that’s there for a reason.” 

Not that she liked it any more than Kim did.

“I know,” Kim sighed. “But I don’t like it. I try to ignore what  _ I’m _ feeling most of the time but now I’ve got to deal with 4 other equally neurotic teenagers in my head?”

“Who you calling neurotic?”

Kim gave her a knowing look. “I’m just saying, it’d be nice to not feel anything once in a while, you know? Just, nothing.”

The comment left Trini cold. “Sorry, you’re human, ya gotta deal like the rest of us,” she covered. 

“Alien-enhanced human,” Kim corrected smugly. “You’d think alien superpowers would make you feel less, not more. Shows what I know, I guess. I always wanted to be a member of the X-Men, personally.”

Not willing to let Kim get away with joking or deflecting, Trini dug her feet in. “Eh, it’s not all bad, emotions I mean. Or having to feel each others’. I felt your joy when your Dad came home and it was amazing.” She grinned at the memory and saw it reflected on Kim’s face. “I know that was private but I feel really like, honored to have shared in it even a little.”

“Those were good feelings but… I feel a lot more than that sometimes - so much more.” Kim sounded exhausted for a moment. “And that’s… that’s mine.”

“Your sad days?” Trini prompted carefully. Kim nodded. “Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

Biting her lip, Trini was at a loss for a moment. There was something she wanted to say but she let the quiet settle in for a few minutes. They both looked out over the water and breathed in the sea air. 

After Rita’s intrusion into her room, Trini couldn’t stand the ocean but standing on the rocks with Kim, the scent of the saltwater didn’t bother her. Here in the cove, the air was clean, not putrid and dead like the air that surrounded Rita that night. 

It was just her and Kim here, no Rita. 

She took in a deep cleansing breath and meditated for a couple minutes in the compatible silence. 

“Don’t ever feel ashamed of what you feel,” Trini finally said after centering herself. Her voice startled Kim and she jumped slightly. “Or of letting us share in it. I’ll try to do the same.”

“Making another deal with me?” Kim asked jokingly.

“I figure it’s kinda hypocritical to call you out on something I do too,” Trini answered with a shrug. 

“True,” Kim chuckled. “Been reading your mother’s books lately?”

Trini startled slightly since she had been but there was no way for Kim to know that. “No, why?”

“You sound kinda therapist-y,” Kim said with a wave of her hand. “You do sometimes. It would probably piss me off if I didn’t like you so much.” The words were said in a joking manner with no harsh tones but Trini knew there was an element of truth to it; she was pissing Kim off on some level.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to,” she said honestly.  _ That’s the last thing I wanna do. _

“I know.”

A sense that this conversation would lead to running in circles if she tried to continue it made Trini sigh. Plus, Kim had fled out here to get out of her head and the pain her parents' appearance and departure had caused her. Flashing a spotlight on it wasn’t going to make her come in from the proverbial cold. 

Eyeing Trini from the corner of her vision, Kim’s lips lifted with a small smirk. “You know, if I didn’t know better I’d think you were jealous.”

“About?”

“Me being able to hide the link so well.”

“Maybe a little,” the shorter girl said honestly. “But it’s just, you shouldn’t do it or feel the need to,” Trini insisted. “At least around me,” she added softly. Uncomfortable suddenly, she kicked at the sand. 

Since she wasn’t looking at Kim, she missed the fleeting fond look that passed over her face before she spoke. “My Nana says ‘if you tell yourself something often enough you can make yourself believe it’.” she said suddenly. “Or something like it. Ever hear it before?”

Confused, Trini stammered to respond. “Uh, yeah, I guess.” She watched the wind whip the taller teen’s hair around; it made her look as tumultuous as a storm.

“It’s kinda like that for me,” Kim fixed her with an intense stare that Trini found impossible to look away from. For the very first time since she met the taller girl, Trini was looking at a defenseless Kim; her brown eyes were naked and open as they looked into Trini’s hazel. Her walls were gone and all Trini could see was a tired, wounded, confused kid hiding her hurt in any way that she could in her lonely struggle to survive. 

And it was a struggle.

The glimpse made Trini audibly gasp.

“I think if I tell myself enough times that I don’t feel something, the hurt, the loneliness, or whatever, then I don’t feel it,” Kim explained, breaking eye contact to rub at her eyes. The moment of vulnerability evaporated. “And if I don’t feel it, then you and the guys don’t sense it. And we can all just move on with our lives.” 

“Why?” 

Kim sent her a look that said she had enough information to know the answer to that already. For Trini, it was one thing to suppress emotions like she herself did until she could process them and another thing entirely to ignore the reality of having them at all and then never deal with them. Neither was healthy but the way Kim was describing was unrealistic and dangerous.

Before she could open her mouth to continue, a set of lights passed over the very top of their heads.

“Shit, lights! Hide!” Kim hissed as a police cruiser rolled slowly over the gravel driveway towards them. They jumped in opposite directions and scrambled for cover before the two uniformed cops got out of their car, flashlights on and shining in front of them. They left the car’s headlights on to illuminate most of the area.

“Hey! Anyone out here?”

“Shut up, Doug! You think trespassers are just gonna raise their hands and answer you?”

“No, but I don’t think they’re serial killers or international criminals either,” Doug responded curtly. “Put your weapon away; you know it’s just gonna be a pair of kids making out again. You don’t have to scare the shit out of every teenager you come across. Christ.”

“If it makes ‘em behave, who cares?”

“I care cuz it makes us all look like assholes, Marc. Your little power trips make us all look bad.”

“Fuck you, man. I get the job done; that’s what’s important,” Marc snapped as he holstered his duty-weapon. “See anything?”

“Not so far. Usually, we’d see their car or bikes or something up the path but nothing tonight. Not even tracks. I don’t think we’ll run into any homeless; the bears and cougars’ve been keeping them away.” Doug kicked around the main area in front of the run-down cottage. “Coast Guard’s been keeping anything not licensed from getting this far into the bay since the whole alien mess so there’s no sign of any smuggling either.”

“It’s pretty empty,” Marc agreed. “No new litter, cans, cigarette butts, nothing.”

“Firepit hasn’t been relit lately either; no new wood or kindling. Yeah, no one’s been here in a while.” 

“You think the caller was seeing things?” Marc wondered. It happened often enough with other things especially since the alien attack on the town.

“I dunno,” Doug shrugged. “Let’s poke around a bit more for a few. If we don’t see anything else, we’ll just say they left before we got here. Swing back later on during shift and double check if we can.”

Marc nodded and the two police officers began looking for trespassers. Meanwhile, hidden on the roof of the cottage, behind the chimney was Trini, breathing hard as she watched the cops. She was balancing her feet on the hopefully solid beams since the roof itself wasn’t in the best shape.

_ I wonder where Kim ended up. Shit, should have stayed with her. _

When her phone vibrated, she nearly lost her balance. Thankful that it was set on vibrate as the default, she fished it out of her pocket and glared at the screen.

_ Really, Kim? Now’s not a good time! _

**POKEMON MOON**

I’m further down cliffside. Where are you?

Irritated, Trini typed out her answer while trying to maintain her balance.

**POKEMON SUN**

Wtf? Texting now?

Roof behind chimney

Trini glanced out from behind the chimney at what was left of the lighthouse down the rockface, the most likely path Kim took. Unfortunately, the tide was in and very high so chances were Kim was getting soaked to the bone while standing on the unsteady rock ledges.

_ I went up and she went down. That water’s cold! I hope she can morph or something. Wait, how the hell is she texting… _

As if on cue:

**POKEMON MOON**

Did you know we can voice to text from our helmets?

I didn’t but it’s so cool!  
I said to myself I need to text Trini and it opened my phone app!

_ Oh good, she morphed so she’s safe and geeking out over the suits. Typical. _ The board under her left foot creaked and made a snapping sound Trini didn’t appreciate.  _ Don’t you dare, _ she told it silently.  _ Bad board! _

“I don’t see a damned thing, man,” Marc said finally. His partner Doug nodded.

“Yeah, we woulda seen something or someone by now. Either they left before we got here or there was no one to start with. Let’s get going.”

Within five minutes, the police cruiser was well out of view. After climbing down from the roof, Trini brushed off her hands and stretched out her limbs while she waited for Kim to rejoin her. 

“Had to get far enough away from the water to demorph and not get wet but not get seen by anyone with a drone or something,” Kim said as she jogged closer. “Ready to head home?”

“If you are?” Trini questioned. “I don’t wanna rush you or anything.”

“Nah,” Kim waved her off. Her mood was noticeably lighter. “Those two will probably be back in an hour or two so we should be long gone. And it’s not the same up here now.” With her hands on her hips, she looked back out over the water under the moon and sighed. “Yeah, let’s go.”

When she turned to go, Trini reached out and snagged the sleeve of her jacket.

“Uh… what were you looking for out here?” she asked nervously, letting go.

“I’m not sure,” Kim replied with an unhappy hum, “but it just feels empty here.” Turning back to Trini, her eyes brightened. “The company’s better now though. Much preferred.”

Trini couldn’t help grinning goofily at her and then blushing at her reaction.  _ It’s gotta be the damn accent, I swear. She’s just so cute with it!  _

Kim said nothing about either response. “My car’s parked at the gas station about a mile down the road. Wanna get some food on the way home?”

“Sure, but you’re calling Jason while we walk. He’s gonna bitch and I’m not dealing with him again today. ”

“Aw shit. He’s gonna be so mad.”

“Yup.”

“I hate ‘stern leader Jason’. He’s no fun.”

“He’s an asshole. Now, call him and tell him you haven’t been abducted by aliens or mermaids or whatever else he’s afraid of.”

“Mermaids would be a nice change,” Kim said absently as she took out her phone. 

Trini rolled her eyes.  _ Mermaids are the last thing we need.  _ She startled slightly when Kim put her arm around her shoulders. 

“Let me call Jase while you pick a place to eat."

"Sure, just don't forget to drop the accent," Trini reminded her.   
  
"You're right, thanks," Kim winked but the effect was dampened by the lack of accent as she switched back. "So I’ll call, pretend to be sorry, which I have lots of practice doing with my Mom and I’ll try to butter him up too… oh, wait. Ooo, pick someplace where they drown things in butter!”

  
  



	24. One on One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TAGS: Language, angst
> 
> Kim and Jason have a talk. It goes in an unexpected direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

Saturday training was cancelled since three out of five of them had early morning plans. Zack was taking his mother to an early last-minute doctor’s appointment to see about some dizzy spells she was having. Billy and his mother were going to a brunch with the local autism group that they belonged to and Billy was excited to see some friends he hadn’t seen in a while. Trini was going with her family on a weekend trip to see her Uncle Cristian and his family. He was her father’s brother and it was his birthday so they were meeting up with a lot of their family at the party. It was one of the rare times Trini was looking forward to spending time with her family.

Although she had the chance to sleep in, Kim knew she had more important things to do so she got up, showered, and had a little breakfast before heading over to Jason’s house. They hadn’t had any time for a real one-on-one talk since she’d skipped training without letting anyone know a few days earlier. She’d apologized over text and at school but they hadn’t had the chance to really talk it out. Kim figured that she’d take initiative and seek out Jason instead of him having to go to her.

She found him at home in his garage working on his personal project, restoring his Ford pickup that he crashed the night of his prank. Billy and Zack were both helping him when they had a chance. They’d taken some of the dented pieces out themselves, without tools, just using their strength to see what they could fix. A few pieces were destroyed in the process but so far the repairs were going well.

His long legs were sticking out from underneath the pickup and his coveralls were stained with oil and machine grease. The radio was playing an old 70s song and Jason was softly singing along while rocking back and forth on the dolly as he worked.

“... Where those fishing boats, with their sails afloat; if I could only see that familiar sunrise through sleepy eyes, how happy I'd be.”

Entertained and not a little impressed with his voice, Kim leaned against the open garage door and listened a little longer.

“Gonna see my baby again, gonna be with some of my friends. Maybe I'll feel better again on Blue Bayou,” Jason sang as he worked. When Kim joined in on the next verse, he jumped, banging his head on the undercarriage and dropping his tool. “Fuck! Shit!”

“Whoops, sorry!” Kim called out to him. “I should have let you know I was here first.” She genuinely felt badly that he’d hit his head. 

Jason rolled out from under the truck while rubbing at his forehead. Kim winced at the red mark that was already starting to form.

“Holy shit, you scared me!” Jason started in a yell but ended in a laugh. He got up and grabbed a nearby rag to wipe off his hands. “What’s up?”

“Not a lot,” Kim shrugged. “How’s this going?”

Glancing at the damaged truck, Jason shrugged. “Not too bad. I was just tightening some stuff up. I gotta be honest, this stuff is a lot easier with the… you know,” he looked around to make sure they were alone, “super-strength most of the time. I can skip some of the more complicated tools and just do things by hand.”

“Yeah,” Kim followed along.

“But occasionally, it kinda sucks,” the blonde said ruefully. He picked up a bunch of metal pieces from the nearby table where he turned down the radio. “It’s taken me ages to figure out how much torque is too much.”

Kim looked at the metal and after a moment recognized a lot of it as broken pieces of bolts, snapped nuts, and warped washers.

“I had that problem with phones and doorknobs,” Kim giggled. “I slammed a few doors off their hinges the first few weeks, too.”

“I told you about my sink that first morning,” Jason reminded her with a smile. “Snapped the side right off.”

“Yeah I remember,” she nodded. “My phone met the same fate.”

“It’s getting easier. I have to watch out when I move or pick up something heavy too; I hafta pretend it’s heavy or else someone will notice.”

“I hadn’t thought of that,” Kim said with a nod. She hadn’t but then again she figured it wasn’t something she had to worry about much. _No one’s around to see me except Trini anyway._

“Yeah, I was hefting some fishing gear and my Dad gave me this look,” Jason shook his head. “I hadn’t realized how much I was carrying until then.”

“Oh no,’ Kim chuckled.

“I had to pretend to drop it as ‘too heavy’ cuz some of the crew were there.”

“They buy it?”

“Seems it. I wasn’t in anyone else’s view, just Dad’s so, I lucked out. But shit, it’s a lot to remember and I’m terrified I’m gonna make a mistake.”

“Eh, we’ll deal with it if you do,” Kim shrugged it off.

“Yeah.”

Biting her lip, Kim decided to just bite the bullet otherwise they’d talk about everything except what they needed too. “Do you have some time to talk?”

“Always,” Jason said easily. He motioned over to a few chairs in the corner area of the garage that he, Zack, and Billy had turned into a tiny lunch area where they could sit and relax, have a pizza and take a break from repairs. “I got a couple of sodas in the fridge; want one?”

“Sure.”

Getting two colas out of the mini-fridge, he handed one to Kim and flopped down into an old armchair held together with what looked like generations of love and duct tape. The material of the upholstery was worn threadbare in places while other areas had been haphazardly patched with other pieces of fabric. The patches varied in age as well as color and pattern so the entire piece of furniture looked like a time-capsule of sorts. Everything from baby clothing to Halloween costumes was represented within the fabric of the chair.

It had quite a lot of character for a piece of furniture.

Kim sat on a plain, but comfortable seat and sipped her soda. After a moment or so of then sitting awkwardly waiting for the other to speak, she confessed. “So, I need to apologize for what I did the other day; I should have texted you or Trini to let you know I was skipping training.”

“Yes, you should have,” Jason agreed after a long swig. “It threw everything off, from my plans for training to, apparently, my ability to deal with stress.” He sighed and shook his head. “I acted like a horse’s ass and I’m lucky Trini didn’t hit me.”

A smirk pulled at the side of Kim’s mouth. “From what she’s told me, she came thisclose,” she held her thumb and index finger barely apart from one another, “but I doubt you were in that much danger. Trin’s got too much self-control to hit you…”

Jason let out a breath.

“... for something overall as petty as your argument. Hitting you is a one-shot,” she joked, “so she’d save it for something epic.”

“Good to know,” Jason huffed back good-naturedly with a roll of his eyes.

“But, I am sorry, really,” Kim repeated. “I promise I’ll at least shoot a text off to Trini next time.”

“I appreciate it,” Jason gave her a relieved smile. “But I hope there isn’t a next time. We need to train, Kim, and we need to do it as a team.”

Not in the mood for the coming lecture but accepting it as her punishment, Kim tried to listen without tuning Jason out. The last thing she needed was to show him more disrespect by missing his entire side of the situation.

“We need to work one-on-one, of course, but I’m really feeling like our weakness is our teamwork…”

“Really? After we rescued the Eloise Joy so well?” Kim was surprised.

“See? That’s just it, I’m afraid we’re gonna get like, complacent and lazy,” Jason explained. “In that rescue, we had a set target and goal; go where the ship went down and to find the crew. We knew what needed to be done and in the scheme of things, a lot of it was done for us by our machines.”

“Ok,” Kim would argue it wasn’t a machine who took a deep dive into the ocean but knew this wasn’t the time to get nit-picky. It wasn’t worth the effort either.

“But we were all over the place in our fights with Rita and Goldar,” Jason said. “Barely worked together until the end.”

“It was rough, yeah, but remember, we didn’t know our equipment…” Kim started before she stopped herself. She’d just proven Jason’s point.

“Exactly, and we still don’t. Not well enough or as much as we should.” To his credit, there was no sense of gloating in his words. “We’ve barely touched the Zords outside of when we need them; Trini didn’t even know hers could change into a boat.”

Irked that he brought up Trini specifically for not knowing something about her Zord, Kim’s mood soured a little.

“Neither did you,” she retorted. “Seems like you both missed important information.” Jason’s eyes narrowed but Kim was undeterred. “I’m just saying, a leader should also know the capabilities of the team’s equipment and you had no clue either.”

Jason nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah, ok I can see that. I barely know anything about them at all or our suits; I was hoping that Billy would find out all that and then tell me later.”

Kim leveled him with a disappointed look. “I think ‘do your own homework’ applies to all this too.” She flashed her wrist, showing off her communicator watch. “No using Billy to do the heavy, complicated work just so you can use a cheat sheet.”

Jason glared at her and tensed up. He was incredibly insulted. “I don’t. He helps me.”

“Didn’t sound that way just now,” Kim tossed out.

“Didn’t you come here to apologize? Or was it to start more shit?”

Skipping over how she felt that she hadn’t really started any shit beforehand (he did with Trini) Kim tried to pick through her words so she didn’t make things worse.

“I’m here to apologize for my behavior, which was wrong,” she said evenly. “But don’t pretend I’m the only guilty party here.”

After a moment, Jason relented and his body language relaxed. “I deserve that. It’s just important to me that everyone sees how important this is, how important training is. We’re still learning about how we each fight too and we haven’t figured out how to mesh it all together, to make everything gel, you know? I mean, we’re getting better- it’s been a few months and all but, when we train, we concentrate on fighting Putties and not much more.”

“It is getting redundant,” Kim agreed, glad the conversation was heading in a better direction. “We’re probably gonna face other things too. I’m not sure shattering Putties is always going to work.”

Jason’s blue eyes focused intensely on Kim. “We need to prepare more, go bigger and tougher, or someone’s gonna get hurt.” He looked away. “I dunno how I’m gonna deal with it if one of you guys gets hurt again like Billy did.” He put his elbows on his knees and ran his hands through his shaggy blonde hair. “That nearly destroyed me, man.”

In some of the old cartoons that Kim watched with her father when she was little during some of the brief moments that he spent time at home when the main character would do or say something wrong, they would sometimes turn into the heel of a shoe or donkey to reflect how the character felt and acted: like a jackass.

Kim felt that way now.

In wanting to avoid the responsibility of being a Ranger and escape her parent’s treatment of her, she’d skipped training to go to the abandoned cove. Why she headed there was a mystery to her until later and she realized she was there looking for the way she felt when she went there in the past when the old version of her frequented the spot. The version of Kim that wasn’t so twisted in her own head that it was hard to get out of bed a lot of the time and the version of her who had no real responsibilities at all, least of all to herself. Now she was responsible for being a Power Ranger and in a way for keeping her fellow Rangers safe.

The cove represented an easier time in her life but when she’d gone back to recapture the feeling it once gave her, she ended up feeling as empty, run-down, and abandoned as the decrepit cabin on the shore.

Until Trini got there. She’d felt a bit warmer then.

Still, she’d been so lost in her own angst that she’d overlooked how difficult being their leader must be for Jason. As he said, he was the one who decided who did what, what they did to approach a battle. Knowing that any one of your commands could lead to your friend’s death had to be terrifying.

_ I went all emo and skipped training when he’s just trying to make sure we survive. God, I have to stop being so selfish, _Kim berated herself silently. _And I picked a fight when I was supposed to be apologizing. God, I’m such a little shit._

“I know; me too,” she remembered those awful hours when Billy was gone. It had been a long trip back to the Ship and it felt like it took a lifetime to get there. It wasn’t a memory she liked to revisit. “Hopefully, nothing like that will ever happen again.”

It was something she prayed about to anyone up there listening every day; please don’t let anything happen to them. Let me go if someone has to.

Kim snorted an out-of-place giggle. A brief realization had humored her. Trini would probably go gray-haired and shit herself if she heard me think that. But I can’t cope with losing her or anyone else. Not if I could stop it…

The thought started to carry her away until Jason spoke.

“I hope not,” he agreed whole-heartedly, “but there’s no guarantee. I mean, common sense says we’re gonna get banged around in a real fight and that’s ok, I get that. And I know that we all need breaks from training from time to time but we’d all just got over being sick, we needed to train.”

Kim opened her mouth with a snappy retort but stopped herself. Reminding Jason that the rest of the team showed up and there was nothing stopping him from leading them through a work-out would only make the situation deteriorate again. But she had to wonder why he’d been so pig-headed he hadn’t realized it. Or hadn’t suggested that the two of them train together since everyone else was busy.

She nodded instead.

_ I deserve some donuts for all the times I’ve bitten my tongue not saying something today,_ she decided.

“And like, if one of you guys dies because we weren’t prepared? If I didn’t prepare us well enough? I don’t know if I can come back from that.”

“I understand.” And she did. “I promise I’ll do better, Jase. I just got caught up in my own headspace and wasn’t thinking beyond that. I’m sorry.”

“Everything ok?” Jason asked.

The way he immediately dropped his worries to check on her twisted Kim’s heart with guilt for her behavior.

“Yeah,” she sighed. “Just the usual teen angst.”

His blue eyes narrowed. “I’m not sure I believe you.” There was no accusation behind his words; he wasn’t accusing her of lying. He was simply acknowledging that there were more levels to what was going on with Kim than what it seemed.

“Yeah, well,” she shrugged blandly. _Please don’t push,_ she silently begged.

Jason was quiet for a few moments and Kim didn’t like the intense expression on his face. “You know you can come to me about whatever, right? You don’t have to take off or only rely on Trini. We’re all here for you.”

Prepared for such a comment, Kim found the words spilling out easily. “Yeah, of course. But some things are left better between girls, you know?” she winked, loving the way that Jason blushed.

“Got it,” he looked away embarrassed.

“You’re too easy, Jay,” Kim laughed.

“Sometimes,” he joined her in laughing.

“So, are we good?”

“Yeah, Kim. I really appreciate you coming over to talk to me about this; it shows a lot of growth,” he offered sincerely.

“Bah, don’t give me too much credit,” she waved him off. “I just wanted to get this over with. I couldn’t stand waiting for you to come to me first. That anticipation makes the whole thing worse.”

“True,” Jason agreed. “A lot of situations are worse in our minds than in reality.” He paused and gave her a dirty look. “I see what you did there.”

“I didn’t do anything; you walked into that,” Kim said with a lazy smile. “But you did go way overboard with Trini, demanding she tells you where I was. We’re close, Jay, but she’s not my guard dog… or tiger I guess. Or my GPS. Don’t expect her to just know where I am like that. She’s her own person, not my shadow.”

Jason winced. “Yeah, I was out of line. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, ok but from what I heard you were unreasonable. Even Billy said so. You’re not usually like that. I can see you getting pissed that I’m not here and ghosting you but what happened? Why did you blow up like that?”

Groaning, Jason put his head back and stared at the ceiling. “I dunno,” he breathed out, disgusted with himself. “I just… everything felt out of control and I just freaked.”

Kim shook her head. “My turn to not believe you,” she said in the same patient non-judgmental tone Jason had used only moments before. “Something’s bothering you and it’s more than just the fear of one of us dying. That’s the risk we have to take being Rangers and we, or at least I accept that that might be how things play out. I’m ok with that…”

“With my mistakes getting you killed?” Jason spat incredulously.

“No, with the possibility of making my own mistakes,” Kim shot back, “or things just not going in our favor and bad shit happening. Remember, Jason, any one of us could die just randomly through no real fault of our own. Being a Ranger puts us in more danger but, shit happens. I don’t want you tearing yourself to pieces if something happens and I don’t make it. If I go out fighting as a Ranger. Yeah, I’m ok with that.”

Scoffing, Jason shook his head. “You make it sound so easy- to just be ok with it. It doesn’t work like that, I don’t. I think you look at death too lightly,” he chastised.

Kim drained the last of her soda. “Are you kidding? I’m scared of dying in any way, not just as a Ranger. Trust me, I’m not in any hurry.” Which was the truth, she was utterly terrified of the thought of the pain involved, especially if she died in battle. She wanted to avoid it.

“Ok, make sure of that,” Jason told her firmly. Seeking to lighten the mood, Jason smirked. “Please tell Trini to stop being mad at me?”

“Mmmaybe,” Kim hummed.

“Come on! She’s scary! I mean, those eyes of hers are haunting when she glares. Like one of those paintings where the eyes follow you no matter where you go. Yeah, and you can feel her staring like there’s something cold creeping on you. She’s creepy when she’s pissed.”

Kim laughed as she agreed. “Oh my God, you’re right. Those eyes lock on and it’s all over.”

“Exactly!”

“Just don’t piss her off,” Kim advised.

“Don’t expect her to know where you are, got it,” Jason confirmed.

Standing up, Kim stretched and nodded. “Right. She doesn’t have any obligation or responsibility to take care of me. We’re friends, not a couple.”

Jason ran a hand through his tousled blond hair. He considered the accidental opening Kim had just made and decided to take it. “No?” he asked softly.

Immediately, brown eyes hardened and Kim’s body went stiff. “No. Don’t start with that either. Off-limits.” She crossed her arms over her chest which emphasized her anger.

Jason put his hands up in surrender. “Sorry. It’s just…”

“Red. Light.” Kim growled. Her cheeks were pink but Jason wasn’t sure if it was anger or something else causing it. “Stop. No, I’m not going there with you, or her.”

Jason looked at her, his eyes asking the questions that she wouldn’t let him voice.

Kim looked at him, her formerly hardened expression breaking into something fragile. “Please, let me not fuck up the one good thing in my life by being greedy? Let me just have this, let me have Trini as a friend I can actually trust?” She paused. “I’ve never really had that, Jase, but I have that, or I’m building that with her. Please. I’m happy with this.”

Jason nodded and opened his mouth to say something only to rethink it and close his mouth instead. Tilting his head thoughtfully he tried again and then shook it, again closing his mouth with a bit of a frown.

Amused, Kim asked, “You ok?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, “but I’m here to talk when you need me.”

“I know. I have the four of you to bug, I get it.”

“No, I mean to talk about this, about this red light,” he elaborated.

Kim grew irritated again. “There’s nothing to talk about, I just told you what it is. Leave it there.” She had a devious thought. “Cuz if you don’t, I’m just gonna get pissed off and Trini’s gonna notice and wanna know why. And I hate lying to her but if I tell her that you pissed me off it’s just gonna make her angry with you again. Then she’s gonna come for you.”

Jason could see how Kim was talking fast and in circles to distract him. It was obvious she didn’t want to address the connection which he knew was only going to grow stronger between Kim and Trini. All he could do was hope that the two girls talked it out between themselves before the dance around their feelings turned them both resentful. He’d seen that before.

Not that he had a problem if a relationship did bloom between the two; the truth was they worked fantastically together and naturally blended to fill in the areas in their fighting that were weak. Kim liked ranged attacks; Trini liked close quarters. Trini fought with brute strength while Kim used agility but together they had little problem taking out opponents. They matched together perfectly.

“Did you just threaten to sick your not-guard-tiger after me?” he joked.

Kim threw a nearby towel at his face and laughed as she walked away. “I said she wasn’t my guard tiger, not that she wouldn’t protect me anyway.”

“I know. I doubt anyone can get past her,” Jason laughed and waved as she left.

“Me either!”

*


	25. Diwali

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tags: A little language, mild homophobia, strained family relationships
> 
> June catches Trini doing something nice for Kim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Enjoy this "last" chapter. Pardon any factual errors as Google and wiki are my main sources. Lol
> 
> Notes about what's next and some housekeeping are at the end.

The ingredients were lined up on the countertops and kitchen island looking like a bakery was starting up shop. It made up what was left of her saved up allowance, or at least as much as she was willing to dip into her savings. Between what she had with her and her remaining plans, she’d still managed to drain herself though.

Her laptop was placed far enough away to avoid any flying flour but close enough that Trini could double and triple check what she was doing. The directions seemed incredibly exact and she was limited on some supplies so she was determined not to mess up too much. Her plans were too important to be screwed up because she couldn’t read simple directions.

_ Measure twice, add in once,_ she told herself, altering the old woodworking expression ‘measure twice, cut once’. _Or measure three, four times, who’s counting?_

Then again, nothing in the recipes she had chosen to make had turned out to be simple. A lot of the ingredients were new to her as were their various flavor combinations but thus far, everything smelled delicious. Trini hoped that meant she was doing something right. While she loved to cook and considered herself to be pretty good at it, this was outside her comfort zone.

Since she was checking to make sure the pot she was using didn’t boil over, Trini didn’t hear her mother enter the kitchen behind her. She was so focused on what she was doing that she uncharacteristically lost track of her surroundings.

In the doorway, June watched as her usually room-bound daughter concentrated on measuring out some sugar just right before adding it to whatever she was cooking that smelled so wonderful. It wasn’t often that she could observe her rebellious child without being seen, especially as Trini was getting older so she allowed herself a moment.

Trini had been her golden child, adored from the moment June discovered she was pregnant with her. A nervous first-time mother she’d read anything she could about how to take care of herself during the pregnancy to ensure Trini would be healthy. She ate right, stopped drinking caffeine, exercised, took her vitamins, and got enough rest- everything the books said to. And it had paid off when her little girl arrived a little late but wonderfully healthy.

She’d made such plans, had such dreams for the beautiful little girl with hazel eyes and dimples who had been such a sweetheart as a baby and toddler. Chubby with soft curly brown hair, Trini was the apple of her mother’s eye and her father’s little Princess. She’d had them wrapped around her tiniest finger before she even knew what fingers were, or that she had them.

When the first indications of her stubbornness started to become apparent as a small child, June’s plans and dreams for her didn’t change. She and Miguel both enjoyed and encouraged, to a point, Trini’s independent and strong nature. Within reason, of course. When she started to display a temper that was much larger than her size, Trini was put into gymnastics, martial arts, and meditation classes to expend the extra energy that her parents felt was part of the problem.

Whatever way Trini acted out or changed as she grew older, Jane was steadfast in her belief that it was all temporary. She was confident in her vision of who Trini could be if she just got back on the track as June had planned for her.

A good education, college, a career, a handsome husband, and having a few wonderful little babies running around would give Trini a well-rounded, fulfilling life much the same as it had for her. And this ‘homosexual’ phase of teenage angst would be nothing but a dim memory.

She could imagine it all; the perfect life for her perfect little girl.

But all she could see now with sixteen-year-old Trini was a girl going off the rails away from those plans and it worried her. Nothing about the way Trini behaved or carried herself was what June had imagined or had in mind when she laid out her plans for Trini’s future. The fact that her expectations of who Trini would grow to be were so different from who Trini was becoming really bothered June. She didn’t understand how she could be as far off as she was which to her meant that Trini’s present behavior was just a rebellious phase of some sort.

After all, Mother knows best and June knew that this wasn’t the best version of her Trini.

First, she didn’t like the boyish way the girl dressed. Trini was a lovely young woman and she should show that (while still being proper and modest). Her clothing and appearance should reflect her social standing to some extent but Trini looked far below her family’s income level. The second-hand clothes from the thrift store were unnecessary; they could afford to buy her new clothes but Trini refused and insisted on cultivating her own look. June figured she might not mind as much if the teen would shop in the women’s section of the store but she found most of her wardrobe in the men’s and boy’s. Masculine clothing did nothing to show that Trini was a girl and only led to uncomfortable ambiguity and, in June’s opinion, extra unnecessary attention.

She hated the beanies that covered her daughter’s beautiful long hair and she despised both the way it was unnaturally dyed and the braids on the side. June wasn’t a fan of such alterations; a few changes and accents here and there but Trini went too far. Plus, she knew that the braids represented Trini’s desire for one of those repulsive ‘lesbian’ haircuts, and each time she looked at it, it was like a slap in June’s face. She suspected that that was exactly why Trini wore her hair that way, to dig at her personally just a little more. To flaunt her straying from God’s path a little louder and more obviously. The concept of Trini wearing them just to express herself didn’t enter her mind.

Thankfully, Trini had abandoned the disgusting nose ring she’d acquired from somewhere in Texas, despite needing parent’s permission for piercings in most establishments. June hated the thing and had taken to ‘accidentally’ knocking the studs into the trash in the hopes that the teen would have to let the hole close. She was glad that Trini had stopped wearing anything although, if she knew the reason Trini had stopped was an offhand comment from Zack about Kim’s dislike of facial piercings in general, June might not feel the same.

Speaking of her daughter’s friends, June had never a fan of the types of people Trini chose as friends; they were always suspect. So, she was wary of the four Trini had found recently. They were unusually closer than most other friends Trini had made in the various places that they’d lived. June had never heard any of them mentioned before, not that Trini was all that forthcoming but still the friendships were fast-formed and unusual.

Jason and Billy seemed like nice young men although everyone knew about Jason’s fall from grace. But, as a social worker and mother of 2 boys, June knew that boys his age were prone to acting out sometimes and he seemed to be turning himself around. Billy was sweet and aside from a strange rumor that he was in detention for accidentally blowing up his locker (_how does one accidentally blow up anything?_), he had a wonderful reputation as reliable, respectful, and honest to a fault.

Quite the opposite of who Trini usually fell in with.

Zack, however, was much more like the troubled souls that Trini had attracted in the past and a bit of a wild card that June didn’t appreciate. This was especially true since he seemed to bring out that same wild side in Trini. He gave June the feeling of always being on the edge of getting into trouble and she thought Trini had escaped that sort of trash when they left Texas.

However, his devotion to his sick mother did mitigate this quite a bit. When June put his behavior beside his circumstances, he didn’t seem like such a danger. Instead, he was just a young man trying to cope with a bad situation and she hoped that maybe Trini was a little help to him and Mrs. Taylor.

And then there was Kimberly Hart. Her daughter spent too much time with the older girl and it made June uneasy, even queasy.

_ My own daughter shouldn’t make my stomach turn,_ she knew but at times when the subject of Trini’s sexuality came up, it was exactly how she felt, queasy. Which was immediately followed by guilt at feeling that way about her child. But she couldn’t help it; everything she’d been raised to believe told her what her daughter was doing was wrong, it was a sin and that Trini was condemning herself to eternal hellfire. The thought of that broke her heart.

The chasm she could feel growing between them was getting worse but June didn’t know what to do to fix it. She hadn’t meant to make it worse by looking at what she thought were art and religious schools but turned out to be conversion therapy retreats. That had understandably terrified Trini and the young teen was wary of her own mother. The suspicion that June could sometimes see in Trini’s eyes before the girl could shield it made her want to die at times. Not literally but June felt a small piece of her soul die each time she saw it.

_ No child should ever look at their mother with such an expression._

She needed Trini to understand that her motivations were entirely pure. All she wanted was for Trini to do what she was told, to follow the plan that had been laid out for her since before she was born, and to have the happy, safe, and normal life that June had imagined for her. For the life of her, June couldn’t understand why Trini didn’t understand that she only wanted what was best for her. That love was what motivated her at heart.

But despite her best efforts, Trini was determined to do the opposite of what June wanted and it was driving June crazy as much as it concerned her for Trini’s future.

Knowing she should speak up before she was accused of spying or something, June cleared her throat.

“I haven’t seen you in the kitchen for more than leftovers or a Hot Pocket in ages, what’s the occasion?” she asked, as neutrally as she could. Trini still gave her a suspicious look that made June sad and took a moment to parse out her answer.

“Cooking,” the teen answered blandly.

Internally, June sighed. She just wanted to be able to talk to her daughter normally but Trini was so prickly, always on the defensive.

_ I suppose that’s partially my fault, _June acknowledged sadly.

“Anything interesting or yummy?” she tried, sincerely interested. She was going to make the effort to reach Trini even if it kept blowing up in her face. She had to otherwise the wild teen might ruin the rest of her life before it even began.

Trini eyed her warily. “Making Mohanthal,” she said slowly as if waiting to be yelled at for something.

“Mohanthal?”

"I hope I’m saying that right,” Trini looked into the pot, “and that I’m making this syrup right.”

“What is it?”

Across from her, Trini decided to if her Mom wanted to talk, so be it.

_ She might not like the answers though, _Trini mentally chuckled.

“It’s a fudgy Indian dessert made with gram flour. It’s popular during Diwali,” she responded, knowing it could possibly open up an argument since she was making it for Kim but there was no sense in lying. “I didn’t even know what gram flour was.”

“Diwali?”

“It comes from chickpeas,” Trini finished.

“What’s Diwali?” June asked curiously.

After a deep breath, Trini turned to her mother and launched into an explanation of the holiday and some of the food involved. She showed her some things on her laptop to illustrate how big the holiday was in Indian countries and the various celebrations. Then, when June still hadn’t left the room despite it being apparent that they were talking about Kim’s heritage, Trini went on to explain how Kim’s parents had abandoned her for it.

“It’s that important a holiday to them?” June wondered. As far as she knew, the Harts were Catholic.

“To Kim it is. They don’t have a lot of ties to her Mom’s heritage but this is like the one thing they do have and it means a lot to her. I mean, to me it feels like it’d be like you guys skipping Christmas or my quinceanera or something,” Trini shrugged, “because ‘something more important’ came up. Fuc…er, freaking ridiculous.”

“Something more important?” June echoed. “Than a family holiday?”

Trini grunted her displeasure. Otherwise, she was going to go on a swearing rant and that would only get her grounded.

“And they have celebrated it every year otherwise?”

“Every year. It’s ‘their thing’, Kim says. She’s completely devastated but trying to act like it’s nothing to her. It’s not right,” Trini grumbled. “It’s not.”

June shook her head, confused. She let the fact that it was Kim who Trini was doing something for go for the moment. “What could possibly be more important than a family tradition that means so much? Or that’s never been missed before?”

“They’re surgeons and they’ve got a pair of conjoined twins they’ve got to separate and apparently,” Trini’s voice turned sourly sarcastic, “pushing it off by one measly day so that they could be here for the first night of it was asking too fudging much.”

“Where are they?”

Trini winced and panicked in her head. _Back off before she catches on! Fix it, fix it, fix it!_

“They’ll be in New York for it,” she lied too easily. “That’s why it’s such bullshit that they couldn’t be here for at least one day.” _Oh please buy that. Oh please._

It made sense to June, especially since the Harts could likely rent a private plane to be there for at least an evening.

“I see.”

As much as June disliked that Trini was going out of her way for a girl, specifically Kim Hart, in this context her heart was fit to burst with love and pride. Trini was trying to be a good friend and bring a little of the holiday that meant so much to Kim back to her. This was the person she and Miguel were trying to raise her to be: kind, considerate, and compassionate. There wasn’t much she could complain about. This was a side of her daughter she wanted to see and encourage. Then she could direct that energy in better directions.

“I plan to do some of the lights too, and uh, bought a diya for her,” Trini said anxiously. She left out that she made one as well, in pink and yellow. “It’s a special light that you hang during the holiday. I thought it’d be nice to have one to maybe remember this year as something happier than what it was going to be, you know?”

June frowned. “Mija, you shouldn’t spend your money…” That she could complain about. They didn’t give her a very big allowance and she wasn’t working since she didn’t have a license and wasn’t allowed to have one until she was at least 17. June felt Trini was too emotionally immature to handle the responsibilities involved in driving.

"It’s my money though,” Trini added carefully, not looking to fight. “Mama, you weren’t there; you didn’t see how hurt she was when they said they wouldn’t be home for it. Please don’t get mad cuz I’m trying to make her feel better. That’s not fair.”

“I’m not mad. I wish you hadn’t spent your money but I understand why you did,” June relented. “Are you making anything else?”

Surprised that her mother wasn’t pressing the ‘Kim issue’, Trini explained her plans. “Kaju Katli, it’s a little cakey-thing made with cashews and Goan Nevri which look like empanadillas to me but have coconut and almonds in them,” she winced at her pronunciations of the names and pointed at her notes and recipes. “I’m gonna screw up at least one of them so I figured if I tried to make a few different ones, I was bound to get at least one right. And I don’t need them until tomorrow when it starts so I figure if I screw up that badly I can try again.”

June looked over her notes and research, impressed that Trini was going so far but still irked in the back of her mind that she was doing this for Kim. “You’re doing an awful lot.” It slipped from her mouth almost unconsciously.

Trini measured her response carefully. This was the longest somewhat pleasant conversation she’d had with her mother in months and she could tell it was coming to a quick end. “I eat a lot of her food, so it evens out.”

June shook her head in concern. “Do you really feel you should be spending so much time over her house?”

“Mama,” Trini sighed, “please don’t start.”

“I’m just saying, Trini, if her parents aren’t home, maybe someone else should be taking care of her.”

Whirling around with the spoon she was using to stir still in her hand, Trini’s eyes narrowed and her voice went gravelly. “No. No, you don’t get to come in here and play ‘social worker’ with my friends when you don’t even know them or the situation. You don’t know her and you haven’t taken the time to even try so, no. No.”

“I don’t ‘play’ at anything, Trinidad,” June said coolly. The sense of insult poured off of her and unfortunately for Trini, it gave June leverage.

_ Oh, here we go,_ Trini thought sarcastically. _She called me Trinidad. I guess the truce is over. Great, all I need is for her to ground me and completely ruin my plans. She would too, just to be fucking petty. Gotta be careful and get out of this mess._

“I am a social worker and from what you’ve said, Kim needs supervision that she’s not getting…” The vein in the middle of her forehead started to show and throb as the woman grew more upset.

_ I’ll just sneak out, _the teen decided. _I need to deflect off of Kim though._

“See, this is why I don’t talk to you,” Trini snapped, going back to her food. “You can’t ever just listen, you have to try and control everything. I should’ve gone to Zack’s to cook these. His mother would have helped without judgment.”

June winced; that stung. “Trini, the two of you are children; Kim is not old enough to take care of herself and you are not in any position to take care of her.”

Trini banged the spoon against the pot before she could stop herself. It made her ears ring. “How am I taking care of her? Ay Dios Mio, Mama. I’m making her snacks to celebrate her favorite holiday, which her deadbeat parents are skipping this year. Why can’t you just let things be what they are without reading more into them?”

“You spend too much time with her, over there…”

“Oh God, not this again. She’s my friend and only my friend! Why do you always try to twist things?”

“I’m not…”

“You are, you always do! We wouldn’t even be having this discussion if I was doing this for a guy; you’d be helping me if I were! You obsess about Kim…”

“I do not!” June protested. “But when you get too close to other girls, people talk…”

“Let them talk, Mama! So what? What does it matter?”

“The things they say…”

“What? About me being gay? Yeah, I am. So what? It doesn’t affect you, not really. And me being gay doesn’t mean I can’t be friends with a girl without it being something more. Get that out of your head. Me being gay doesn’t mean…”

“Stop using that word,” June warned, visibly uncomfortable. The conversation took a turn she didn’t like.

Trini rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to retort when her father appeared in the doorway.

“What smells so good in here?” Miguel asked as he walked in on the two women, Mateo and Yeyo hot on his heels. Both women immediately dropped their argument, not wanting the young boys to overhear it. Miguel sent them both a knowing look.

“Mmmm, what’d you makin’?” Matty wondered, sniffing the air and smiling. He was missing his bottom front teeth, having lost them to a flying soccer ball two weeks earlier.

“Can we have some?” Yeyo asked, bouncing on his toes trying to see over the stove.

“No, go away,” Trini swatted at them with a wooden spoon. The boys giggled since she wasn’t actually mad. All of Trini’s attention was now on her little brothers. “I’m making holiday treats for Kimberly, remember her? She’s part Indian.”

“Not like with cowboys, right?” Matty clarified. “Those are Native Americans.”

“Right, different Indians. So, Kim’s Mom’s family celebrates a holiday called Diwali and her parents won’t be here to celebrate this year so I’m making some food for her.”

“Ay, qué amable eres,” Miguel said as the boys laughed and Trini blushed.

“Papa, por favor,” Trini whined. “Don’t tease me. I’m trying to be nice.” June huffed and stomped her way out of the room. At her father’s raised eyebrow, Trini sent him a look.

“Can we try some?” Yeyo asked politely.

“No, ‘may’ we try some,” Matty corrected him.

“If I don’t completely screw it up, yeah, I think so,” Trini told them to a chorus of dual cheers.

“You’re the best!” Matty said, hugging her side.

“You’ll do good,” Yeyo grabbed her other side as they were prone to doing to either annoy her or to actually express affection like now. “You’re good at everything.”

“Ha, I wish.”

Miguel ruffled his children’s hair and left the kitchen where the boys had pulled up chairs to help and ask questions about Diwali (“Not Dee Wally, Matty”) while trying to steal pieces of fudge.

*

Dragging herself out of her car, Kim sighed; she missed Trini. The younger girl had to go home after school so they couldn’t hang out like they usually did and given that it was the first day of Diwali, she was hoping for some company to take her mind off her parent’s absence. It left a bitter, hurtful taste in her mouth that they were skipping it but she figured it was probably her own fault for screwing up at the beginning of the school year.

She couldn’t really blame them for not wanting to celebrate; she hadn’t given them much to be happy about this year. It might be different if she could tell them about being the Pink Power Ranger, but she couldn’t. Instead, she was stuck feeling like an unwanted bother. To everyone.

After sitting in the car for a few minutes, she grabbed her bag from the passenger seat and headed towards the house.

The sight of her home, devoid of its traditional diyas and other lights sent a pang of longing through her chest that physically hurt. It was still surreal that her parents weren’t there either. Nothing about the entire situation was right but there was nothing she could do.

But a small smile did cross her face when she saw a few lights on inside. It had to mean Trini was in the house; the younger girl was the only one with the keys and there was no silver SUV in the driveway to indicate her parents were surprising her. She’d long since given up on holding onto hopes and dreams of them surprising her like that when they had forgotten her 11th birthday despite being home at the time.

_ Remind me never to tell Trini_, Kim thought with a small head shake. _She’d hunt them down just to smack them. It might be worth watching, though. 11 year old me would worship her for it. I probably would too._

Abandoning that thought before it went too far, she opened the front door and nearly dropped her backpack at the sight that greeted her.

Trini was standing in the middle of the living room in a pale yellow blouse and black slacks with her hair free and falling in waves around her shoulders and down her back. She was looking at the door with a nervous expression on her face. The moment their eyes met, a blush raced up the Latina’s cheeks.

As pleasant as that beautiful visage was, it wasn’t what made Kim stumble over the threshold of the doorway; what Trini had done to the room did.

Placed on the coffee table were colorful plates heaped with food which explained the wonderful and familiar scents that filled her nose when she’d walked in. Her mind flashed the names of the sweets as her eyes traveled over them; kaju katli, mohanthal, rava kheer, and goan nevri were the ones that immediately popped out. Some looked homemade while others looked like they’d been ordered from a restaurant but Kim didn’t care. It was the effort that mattered.

It smelled like Diwali in her home. Like it was supposed to.

“Trin,” she breathed, looking at the numerous strings of lights that the other girl had hung throughout the room. Two beautiful diyas hung with them, one was clearly purchased but the other Kim could tell Trini had made it especially for the occasion and it made her smile through her tears. It was pink and yellow with silhouettes of cats going around on the yellow bottom and birds in flight on the pink top. In-between was a perfectly blended mix of the two colors and a cut out for a small LED battery-operated candle. Several more, likely found squirreled away in a closet, were placed around the room and lit up with candles.

Trini had done a lot of research to pull this whole thing off.

For her, for Kim.

“Happy Diwali…?” Trini tried, unsure if the tears she could see were happy or sad. She prayed she hadn’t overstepped some bound. “I know I can’t replace your parents or family traditions and I’d never try to but…” she shrugged helplessly, “I wanted you to have a little of your holiday even if they couldn’t be here. I hope that’s ok.”

Barely shutting the door behind her, Kim launched herself into Trini. Wrapping her arms around the smaller body, she buried her face into Trini’s neck.

“Thank you,” she whispered fiercely, in tears. Squeezing tightly, she seemed reluctant to let go and just kept repeating the phrase as she wept.

Until that moment, Kim hadn’t realized how much she still wanted to celebrate the holiday even just a little. She’d tried to tell herself that it was no big deal and it was just a silly holiday but it wasn’t; it was more than that and her parent’s dismissal of it genuinely hurt. But coming home to Trini hesitantly offering her a piece of it back in her own sweet way, while it didn’t erase the pain her parents inflicted, it did ease it considerably. And it made the often abandoned teen feel seen as if her feelings mattered, and more importantly, she felt loved.

There were certain parts of herself that Kim considered dead, withered from inattention and being starved for attention. She usually ignored those pieces since there was nothing to be done for them but little by little, her sweet best friend was breathing new life and color back into them without being aware they even existed.

Kim was almost afraid to breathe and burst some dream bubble only to wake up alone. But Trini’s arms were warm and tightly hugging her back.

“Thank you,” Kim sniffled.

Not comfortable with long displays of emotion, Trini desperately wanted to make a joke or something to ease her own discomfort. But this was about Kim so it was easy to keep her mouth shut to let her have a few seconds.

When Kim finally pulled away, she looked shyly at the shorter teen. “Did you do all this _and_ get dressed up for me?”

Hoping that she wasn’t blushing as red as she felt, Trini nodded. “I know… maybe it’s weird, I dunno but I couldn’t stand the thought of you missing Diwali, at least not all of it. So I thought I could try to bring a little of it to you. If you wanted.”

“You didn’t have…”

“I know,” Trini cut in with a smile, “I wanted to. It means a lot to you so it means a lot to me now.” Gesturing towards the food, she bit her lip. “I tried to make some of the food but I’m not sure how good it came out. The fudge is apparently good since my little brothers nearly ate themselves sick on it.”

“You made these?” Kim’s eyes were wide and beginning to water again. _Did she try to cook traditional Indian foods for me? What did I do to deserve her?_

“Those, those, and those,” Trini pointed out which ones were hers a little proudly. “The others I ordered and picked up.” She watched Kim’s eyebrows knit together shortly before her mouth opened. “I swear if you mention money like my mom did, I’ll smash a cashew cake up your button nose.”

With an audible click, Kim shut her mouth and grinned. Leaving the food, she looked at all the lights some of which twinkled.

“I hung some in your room too,” Trini offered bashfully. “I thought it could use a few more fairy lights so, yeah.”

“The diyas are beautiful. Did you make this one?” Kim asked, knowing the answer but asking anyway. Internally, she delighted in the way Trini’s blush darkened.

“Yeah.” Absently scratching at the back of her head, Trini rocked on her heels and tried to look anywhere but at Kim. “I wanted to make it special, you know? So maybe when you looked back on this year’s Diwali the memory wouldn’t suck so bad.”

Walking back over, Kim engulfed her in another tight hug. “Trust me, Trin, you’re pretty special. Thank you so much for doing all this. It means, well it means everything. You don’t even know.”

Although she was internally glowing with happiness that she succeeded in salvaging some of the holiday for her friend, Trini didn’t want the evening to be all about thank you’s and crying.

“You’re welcome,” she gruffed. “But if you get food poisoning from my attempt at Indian food, I don’t know you.”

Kim laughed, the sound full and rich. “So noted.”

There was no food poisoning unless Kim eating until she was nearly sick counted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, thanks for hanging in there for 25 chapters & almost 200,000 words! It’s been a journey. I know that not a lot of action has happened but rest assured it's on its way. They’re superheroes after all.
> 
> Reaching 200,000 words is amazing to me when we’ve only reached roughly November 11th with our girls. Amazing because when I first began posting I thought that this first ‘book’ of the series was essentially written with only some fill-in needed.  
I ended up so inspired & fueled by your engagement & comments that more & more material spilled from my head into the story, adding so much content that I’ve had to cut The Heart into 2 parts.
> 
> Which leads us to why I ended at 25 chapters. This is a person, aesthetic choice. When I’m perusing stories, I’m often overwhelmed when I see a story that’s 30-50 chapters. I mean, I still read it but I just wanted to cut it at 25, a smaller bite, and make a Part 2. 
> 
> So, you won’t have to wait long to see what happens next! Probably only a week or two since I’m not feeling the greatest and need a short break.  
But in the second half, quite a lot happens. I don’t think it’ll be 25 chapters or as long length-wise before we move on to Book 2: The Mind but I’m honestly never sure what’s going to happen next. I hope you stick with me for the journey.
> 
> Some sneak peeks at upcoming chapters!
> 
> **  
“Do you...have you ever thought that Kim’s not… safe?”  
Jason frowned. “That’s a hard question to answer. She’s complicated.”  
“I know. I wouldn’t have asked if it was an easy question I could answer myself.”  
“Anything I need to know about?”  
“That’s another hard question.”  
**  
Shrugging, she opened the front door and felt a smile tugging at her lips. Lying on the couch like she belonged there was Trini in her stocking feet, eating dinner and watching the tv with her laptop on her lap, presumably to do homework.  
“Hi honey, I’m home,” Kim greeted her with a laugh.  
Trini smiled back at her. “Yo! I made you dinner. It’s warming in the oven.”  
“Ohh, food. Smells delicious. I may have to keep you if you keep making me food.”  
**  
“I want to speak with you, Trinidad.”  
-  
“She spends too much time with Kimberly, too much time at her house! Why? What’s so wrong with being here that she needs to spend so much time there instead?”  
“If things are so difficult for you here, Trini, you obviously have better places to be,” her mother said sternly.  
**  
When the knocks on the door went unanswered, which wasn’t surprising given the volume of the music, Trini pushed her way inside and had to quickly put a cap on her hormones. Kim was sweaty and flushed, moving sensually along with what sounded like Indian music, her hips swaying hypnotically. Her purple sports bra and shorts were soaked with sweat and her hair was damp as she undulated with the music.  
“Ay Dios Mio,” Trini gulped as her breath and step staggered.  
**  
More booming rattled the ground beneath their feet.  
“Guys?” Billy tried again. He looked to the left, behind some of the older warehouses. “I think something’s coming.”  
The Rangers followed his eye-line and all took a step back.  
“Is that a…”  
“No, couldn’t be.”  
“It is.”  
“A MegaPutty?”  
“MegaPud?”  
Much like the Megazord came together from all five of the Zords, the MegaPutty was a huge Putty made of other putties grouped together as one. Roughly a story and a half tall, it was hulking and wide, swinging its bulky arms as it stormed at them.  
**  
Consciousness returned when her body impacted with the road hard enough to dent the asphalt and she bounced up, demolishing a tree as she hit it before slamming into a concrete and wooden bench beside the metal marina railing. Both of which broke and dangled precariously on the edge over the deep seawater.  
“No, no, no, no,” Billy whispered as the broken bench and railing wobbled and whined at the awkward angle and weight of the Ranger armor. With a final grinding of metal shearing, Trini disappeared over the edge of the dock into the water with an impressive splash.  
**  
Kim’s thumb hadn’t stopped stroking the skin on Trini’s hip and the Latina had no idea how long they’d been standing there so close they were breathing each other’s air. These touches were new, more personal than the ones they’d shared before. They felt heavier and like Kim was leaving faint fingerprints on her hip to mark her presence.  
**  
As she reached out for her phone to check for messages, a sharp lance of petrifying, paralyzing terror- a level of the emotion she'd had never experienced in her life, even during the battle with Rita and Goldar. It was followed by a depth of sadness and despair so visceral and deep it caused her to cry out as it ripped through her chest. She lurched over the side of her bed and vomited repeatedly.  
**


End file.
